#fuckin hell that was a long one
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coming to terms with being a vampire, i kinda ignore it because it is so much stronger than my other non-human identities to a point that it scares me?.. i see myself as a vampire both mentally and physically. so ima ramble about it and see what happens
im definitely sanguinary, my blood thirst is uh quite something, but its manageable thankfully the blood is the main thing not the killing/hunting
i switch between 3 states of viewing my physical body: 1. my body is a corpse 2. my body shouldnt exist (mist form) 3. my body should be an animal's. theres a noticeable difference between *is* and *should*
typically im in animal state (wow! so surprising!) and i can feel my fur,tail,ears,eyes,ect but i cant see them and i know theyre not actually there (ill write more on my animalhood later bcs ive been busy studying myself and i need to write my thoughts down on it)
second most common state is corpse, this ones hard to talk about bcs it always scares the shit out of me when i remember that im dead. technically im dead when in animal state but its easier to ignore when i have a wagging tail. its like becoming hyper aware of your mortality except everything makes no sense? i could try to make more sense of it and work out the rules to it but i think its too nonsensical for that. main issue is that i forget i need to do living ppl things like nutrition and rest, and im working on and getting better with that
finally, shouldnt have a physical body state- it comes on during times of stress and usually happens in form of a panic attack where im freaking out that i have a physical body (instead of being a cloud of mist or static electricity?) but it can also be a casual experience. pretty sure this is out of a want to disappear or run away when stressed but due to a mix of reasons its ended up with me wanting run away from my own body and getting confused as to why i cant
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the great irony of early one piece antagonists believing zoro was the actual captain and using luffy as a puppet ... oda really threw us a bone and curb-stomped it right in our faces. yes, zoro could be a captain in his own right. yes, zoro could match luffy in strength. yes, zoro knows this perfectly well. and you know what? he chose luffy two years ago, and he will continue to choose luffy again and again. roronoa zoro, the pirate hunter, who followed a wannabe pirate with a nonexistent crew on a whim because luffy brought him his swords and made a half-assed attempt at a bargain. zoro, who made a vow to never lose again on both his and luffy's honor. zoro, who told luffy he'd make him commit harakiri if he got in the way of zoro's goal, only to turn around and be willing to sacrifice his dream if it means that luffy reaches his. zoro, who stood in place and took luffy's pain and told a warlord to take his head instead of luffy's, who got down on his knees before his supposed rival and begged mihawk to mentor him so that he could return strong enough to protect his captain. zoro, who has conqueror's haki- a natural born leader- but chooses to stay at the right hand of a man he has deemed greater than himself.
and the thing that luffy fears most? being alone. being rejected. being left behind. and what should have been his foil- the pirate hunter to his pirate king, the nonbeliever to his divine, the king of hell to his sun god- instead becomes his first and most devout follower; the one who demands to follow him to hell and back. oughhhggg i'm sick to my stomach
#one piece#roronoa zoro#monkey d luffy#zolu#what the hell is wrong with him#the very definition of becoming bewitched body and soul#do you get me#luffy is zoro's helen of troy#in that#he'd launch a thousand ships to put a smile on luffy's face#i need to crack open that mossy green head of his and see what's going on inside#has anyone told oda that he could possibly be cooking one of the greatest love stories the shounen genre has ever seen#one piece is a 26 year long ongoing slowburn#luffy: it's rotten work!!! ^_^#zoro: yeah i fuckin know but god what does it matter. it's for you#pls dont tag as platonic lmao
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COMING THIS SUMMER:
7 MONTHS
36 ARTISTS
1 REALLY PERSISTENT SKELETON
IT'S THE 2023 TRUNGOTHON MEGA ART TELEPHONE GAME
[RATED R]
RIDICULOUS. this was so big that even with tumblr's recently expanded image limit i still had to weld every other image together to fit it into one post, but if you want to see every image in its full glory, i made a page for it on my website (jankily hand-coded and probably not very mobile friendly).
it was so fun to see which elements stuck around and for how long. i still can't believe the skeleton got banished and then resurrected 15 iterations later!
huge thanks to everyone who participated. in order:
@mobileleprechaun, ink drinker, @dimetrodrawn, @escherbug, @gachimushi, @ikrutt, @dunwichdrawsstuff, @mathpope, @bedupolker, @solidagold, @a-beepbop, thenauticalwarlock, @ohpsshaw, @eisly, @juenavei, me, @librivore42, @greedol, @mechabutchzilla, @phanta-friends, @tickfleato, @skelizard, elixer, @espimyte, @noctomnis-art, @bluedotjpeg, @fetus-cakes, @iguanodont, @flame-shadow, @kombuchaclock, @slimekingmike, @crtastrophe, @leona-florianova, @skelebee, @nutspider, @palossssssand, and gachimushi again for the header image to this post
whew! now time to seriously consider a yearlong 72-artist game...
#not actually rated R#bflyart#art telephone#if were mutuals and you're interested in joining the next one of these you should definitely hit me up#man idk what to even tag this with#i'll uh add some other tags later i think#im fuckin exhausted#also i dont care that this is a long as hell post im definitely gonna reblog it a couple times
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more uh. more uh brainrot um. erm um go read Doctor, the Problem's In My Chest please
#sampard#sampo koski#gepard landau#honkai star rail#honkai star rail art#art#man i should give context for this one huh... the stitches and the bed and the slippers#Sampo acting coy and all nonchalant but he's leaning towards gepard and all the little acts of service#acts like hes the smoothest fucking baller in Belebog but his feelings are broadcasted SO loudly if u know where to look#and Gepard has to know at this point. hed chased Sampo for a long time and then spent two months in the same house as him#fuckin hell. i need to go do some jumping jacks
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why is lettuce so fucking Good
#currently eating half a head right outta the bag#my body... it craves Fresh Vegetable...#i have not had Fresh Vegetable in so long...#monch cronch eating each leaf like a fuckin shredder#personal (me) home (in my house) shredder (teeth)#its so crisp and watery and cool from the fridge#my ideal meal is raw ground beef & entire head of iceberg lettuce#literally eating this shit like a mf Rabbit#absolutely unprompted#do you ever think about how similar leaf is to meat#looking closely at one rn and its like... a thin slice of steak but Green....#why do vegans and carnivores fight we're literally the same. we should all make out or somethin idk#OHHHH WE'RE GETTING TO THE INNER LAYERS NOW ITS GOING DOWN!!!! HELL YEEEAAAHHHHH#SHIT JUST GOT CRISPER#if you're reading this its your sign to chug water and eat a fresh cool vegetable right from the fridge#give in to your primal desire to cronch with your bare hands and teeth#life is long but this moment is so so sweet
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King
#world of warcraft#anduin wrynn#varian wrynn#Llane Wrynn#Barathen Wrynn#Wanted to see if I could duel wield on my rouge the kingslayer and the sword that killed Barathen so I looked and to my dissapointment#it appears they used two different one-handers for reference in the comic so you can kinda get close but its not the right sword#they used the design of one and the shape of another uggh#Let me run around ingame with the swords that killed Llane AND Barathen please is that too much to ask#anyway#All three of the last Wrynns were killed in the same area#their breastplates aint do SHIT to protect them#which is why i am now gonna go off into a 10k rant about how this prooves there is NO reason for Anduin to be forced to wear plate armor#infact prehaps he would be safer in cloth like a proper priest#UNLESS sayyyy the little lion gremlin face on Anduin's breastplate is enchanted and anytime anyone gets too close it breaths fire at them#Someone gets too close and an alarm goes off and the little lion mouth moves up and down with a loud 'STAND BACK- STAND BACK- STAND BACK'#Anduin forgetting about hte annoying lil shit until hes getting back to his room after a long day and his bf wrathie is there and they get#a littttle tooo close n touchy before Anduin can remember to undress and the fuckin lion alarm goes off and guards rush into the room#anyway ive never done stained glass before and tried a new way to make shattered glass so i think this was good#that said the canvas size was maybe too small and it got compressed to hell on twitter and it bothers me so much#cuz anduins face is really nice but it looks blurry when i upload itttt aagh
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JUST READ EVERYTHING THERE IS ABOUT THE ZOMBIE AU !!!!! LOVE THIS SO MUCH WAAAA
you mentioned that ritsu, by the end of the story, is broken and practically insane. once shigeo is cured and "back to normal," i'm guessing that ritsu doesn't exactly go back to "being normal" either :( he'd gone through too much to be the same after everything... do you think he ever goes back to old habits and treats mob like he's still a zombie, only to be shellshocked at the fact that it's all over?
also this au is very reminiscent of this post (grieving the undead)
https://www.tumblr.com/applejuicewerewolf/735120232698593280/no-need-to-keep-this-in-the-tags-youre
WEEEE IMSO GLAD U LIKE IT it's the direct result of my brainworms
yes ritsu is definitely Not Normal by the end and he should be put into therapy immediately. poor kid's seen way too much at way too young of an age, and he's been put through unreal amounts of stress that is definitely not good for a growing brain. he most certainly does not go back to "normal" when mob is cured, and much like his brother, he's never quite the same as he was before
he Absolutely has trouble squashing old habits, yes. he tends to just Do Shit for mob that he's fully capable of doing now, no matter how simple, bc as a zombie mob couldn't rly do all that. he opens food packages for him automatically, he unlatches doors even though mob is perfectly capable of Figuring Out a Lock. sometimes when it's raining ritsu will even pull mob's hood over his head—he used to do that for him when he was a zombie, to keep the rain off him, even if zombie mob didn't rly give a damn if it was raining or not
if mob were anybody else, he'd prolly find it a bit insulting, but instead he finds it kind of amusing most of the time
sometimes he grabs mob's hand and leads him around and it's only when they're like halfway there that he realizes what he's doing. mob doesn't particularly mind, but when his goal is elsewhere and they're aiming for different places he has to go "ritsu ..." and it's this awkward blinking session like . oh .right. yes.ofc
i think mob would ? maybe get a little annoyed at the hovering that ritsu totally unintentionally does. he hovers so closely bc zombie mob never rly minded, or ,, noticed. so now that he's back to "human" levels of awareness it is . extremely obvious. and it's not even that ritsu is Worried, it's just like he's spent so long Hovering and Fretting that it's just kinda second nature to him now
it's a strange role-reversal—it's very weird for mob to wake up and have scattered memories of the last two years, and suddenly feel like he's the younger brother instead. ritsu is now the caretaker, and it's... strange. and honestly, the first real goal mob has in mind after waking up and recovering for a while is settling back into the role of older brother. it's important to him
but much like how reigen now has trouble corralling that kid, mob has some difficulty getting ritsu to settle back into it too. he's too high-strung and stressed and permanently scarred to rest and let people take care of him, too used to being the caretaker himself. for the longest time he was forced into the mindset of, "you stop, you die," so ritsu keeps going bc his instincts r shot and he feels like he's in danger all the time
after a while of gentle nudging, mob gets the hang of convincing ritsu to lean on people, to lean on him, but mob is quietly distraught at the overall state of ritsu's mental well-being. it takes him a while to rly get a grasp of how bad it truly is, but once he realizes the damage, he's .. so fuckin upset w himself for letting this happen to his brother
as if it's rly his fault at all, but he regrets being slow and getting overrun by that zombie horde to begin with. maybe if he hadn't turned, ritsu would be a lot better off now—they woulda been able to join a settlement, and live in a place where there is supplies and food and clothing and other people to talk to other than your mumbling brother who no longer fully understands you. it likely would've spared him a lot of trauma
and alsoYES that post is EXACTLY it the concept of mourning a person u still see every day is ougougouhoguhg ,., .,witsu ..................
#qktalks#kriber#zombie au#ritsu is so fuckin elated when mob wakes up and shows all the good signs of progress#and it sorta all catches up to him those first couple of days of mob being awake#the entire time he's out and letting the cure undo most of the damage#ritsu‚ mentally‚ is like.on pause#he's just Waiting.and waiting. and not letting himself get his hopes up and not letting himself lose all hope either#he's cultivated a careful middle ground that he stands on with trembling legs but he stands on it nonetheless#and the first time mob actually speaks to him with real words that make sense in the order they are spoken ritsu loses that middle ground#and he's.a bit emotional for a while. and who can blame him yaknow. kid's been through hell.kid's Going through hell#he tears up and cries at a lot of little things. like mob giggling#or finally seeing those eye bags fade a bit and noticing color in his skin again#or lying his head on his chest and noticing his heartbeat is faster now. it was slower as a zombie#a change like this‚ one he's waited and worked for for 2 long years‚ is smth he has trouble adjusting to again#sometimes he rly still can't believe mob is back and then he gets happy and emotional all over again when it hits him that it's over
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#roserade#i was about to be like What Where's Roselia! but i remembered that this is another one of those evo lines that's all out of order#because of retrofit prevos and evos. i'm glad they haven't done any of these since like gen 4 bc these things are confusing#see i'm gonna say that and then someone is gonna point out one in like gen 5 or something. and then i will die. i will lose forever#i'm queuing this up waiting for the presents on august 8th. i'm sure i'll liveblog it on my main but like. it's not gonna be anything#it's just gonna be sv dlc. that's literally the one single interesting thing they're gonna mention. i swear. that's it#no WAY we're getting any other new games this year. we got TWO last year. and that was right after pl:a was back-to-back with bdsp#i would be Very wary about the quality of the next pokémon game if we do get one this year. which we won't bc main series DLC tends to#replace a new core series game. it stands in for one. as we saw with swsh. and then they'll do one next year on the fuckin switch 2 or w/e#centro pokémon says sv was the last $60 pokémon game. and now they're gonna be $70. which is sad but to be expected#dunno. the presents is gonna be long over by the time you all see this so maybe i'm wearing the fucking clown makeup and we got a pmd game#or hell. a new pokémon ranger. that has a dedicated fanbase. for a game i've never played. should i? maybe i should
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(OLD OC SKETCHES)
Meet Sunnabelle Von Sunnoviche, final daughter of the Sunnoviche family. Peeking from behind a window, she witnessed a wizards final spell, one that reduced the world to a wasteland.
Her noble blood damned her to [HELL], but unwanting to suffer with her family, she made a deal with the devil. She now hunts in his name.
The top of her head was taken by the blast on that day.
The fires of her spirit have boiled her blood into a super-heated plasma.
#luckys original content#GRAAHH MY OCS OCS IM SORRY MY OCS I NEVER FUCKIN DRAWW YYAALLL#i was cleanin stuff on my pc again n found a buncha stray doodles of her that i made like. 1 or 2 yrs ago. so i cooked em into smth edible#shes a gunslinger rogue i think! mechanically aasimar bc plasma blood#played her once for a very teeny tiny improved oneshot me n some buddies did forever ago#would love to play as her again... someday a cowboy themed game will find me.. n she will live again...#SUNNABELLE VON SUNNOVICHE! the last name was sposed to sound like 'son of a bitch' ehehehe#bc she is ONE HELL ofa son ofa bitch. shes mean shes short tempered she takes NO SHIT#and she loses her mmIIIIND when she meets a delightfully stupid pretty person#i didnt play her for long so her personality hasnt evolved that far. thats the fun thing abt playing characters! u meet them when u play em#SUNNABELLE FUNFACTS: she is the 6th child of 11 siblings. middlest a middle child can be. bc o this she was often overlooked or ignored#she grew up in a family of obnoxiously rich nobles. all the other siblings were trained and focused on to be the best a sunnoviche can be#meanwhile. sunnabelle often stuck to herself. drawing and creating little fantasy worlds. was always a fan of wild wests n cowboys n guns#she was the only one that saw the WIZARD coming. she was peering over a window when the blast went off. taking the top of her head#GUHH IM ACTULY SO PROUDA HER DESIGN SHE LOOKS SO COOL.. LIKE WHATS WITH THE PLASMA HOW DID I DRAW THAT SO WELL. IM SO PROUD.#I lov all the sun symbolism.. its so fun.. what a fun character ive made.. hell yeah.... anyway hope u guys like her too.#if u got questions ive got ANSWERS!!! my askbox is always open. im pretty sure.
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ooUUUGHHH I FINISHED THEM ALLLLLLL
#FIRSTLY THE DIRECTOR AKA SISTER IS MEANT TO HAVE A LONG ASS NECK#BC the director herself in the movie lookin like a MF giraffe istfg#I tried to make Todd as punchable as possible#I hate how much time I spent on todd#I hate him why did I spend so much time drawing him wtf#I know Ballister and Ambrosius are already uploaded but I'm adding them here in the bunch BC LOOK AT THEM ALL TOGETHER!!!!!!#Gonna be hell fixing the fanfic now#I have to move Ambrosius into Ballisters index page then remake Ballisters page into the Sisters & Todd's#The i'll add a last one for Nimona#Nimona AU#Medieval AU#Nimona#ballister boldheart#ballister blackheart#ambrosius goldenlion#ambrosius goldenloin#thoddeus sureblade#fuckin hate todd#the director nimona#alternate universe#fan made#I don't own Nimona duh#my nimona au art#my art
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this is really stretching the 'shitty' in the blog title but fuck it the 'daily' is already a lie
keychain design :thumbsup:
#aka i finally finished colouring the lines ive had as my pinned after. far too long#i mean. maybe finished#not super happy with how i executed the speech bubbles so might fuck with those later#and theres still the b side to do with hal but#fuck it this isnt shitty hal daily#also i feel like i should actually prove that i. can draw? decently? because wow i have been feeling Kinda Shit about how low effort this#blog has become#is that stupid when the first word in the name is literally 'shitty'? yeah#does that stop me from comparing it to other really good blogs like insufferableprick and the fuckin uhhh calliope one cant remember her#handle?#and hell even the other badlydrawn blogs#lmao no#eh whatever its like 1 am#that probably has something to do with it#fuck it we ball#ooc post#homestuck#davesprite#actual art
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the thing that keeps getting to me about the line "and i'm mad as hell you let me give you all that youth for free" and "i'm just mad as hell cause i loved this place for / so long, london" is that it ties back to "the manuscript", actually. it ties back to "nothing new," it ties back to "never grow up," it ties back to the red tour fundon london shirt. she loved this city for so long, she let older men take her girlhood ("give me back my girlhood, it was mine FIIIIIIIRST"), and my god "come one, come all, it's happening again" in "how did it end" really brings it all home
it's not just this guy. it's every guy. it's constantly trying to make this fantastic fairytale romance happen in a city americans associate with castles and romance and history. it's like one day you wake up, and there's no fuckin fairytale, no fountain of youth, and the city is a smog-filled wasteland ruined by the industrial era. she loved this place for so long, how DARE you ruin it for her. it's a star imploding and sinking down into a black hole of thought
#so long london#like i think once again this is where trying to fit one muse doesn't work#because the muse IS taylor it's HER life#and the fundon london shirt lives rent free in my head#i'm mad as hell because i loved this place for....#LIKE#the association with london and taylor has been so strong since 2010#since speak now#since i can see you#since all too well#like oh my god#i hope it's fuckin shitty in the black dog FR
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Oh man I looked at the notes on that evolution & Christianity poll (a mistake, clearly), like, how can so many people be so fkin stupid. Yes thats mean of me to say but. Y'all are really out here being strict biblical literalists?? Not even most of the early christian theologians & church fathers were strict biblical literalists?? There is no historical basis to being an extreme literalist abt the bible?? Presumably you received SOME sort of education and can read and think critically?? You can't ALL have been raised in an information restrictive cult??
99% of the time im ready to throw hands with Catholicism because oh boy we have beef and I hate it here, but at least we're not Like That TM.
Oh Fr Georges Lemaître, father of the Big Bang Theory, we're really in it now.
#not to dunk on my Protestant friends ily#but like. protestantism is one hell of a drug. holy shit#like do i think ultimately what you believe about the evolution is the end of the world. no#BUT it indicates underlying literalist thinking which leads to problems that ACTUALLY affevt everyday life#and also just. deliberate ignorance. conspiracy theory thinking#not to b like. one thing leads to another. but these r definitely related patterns of thinking#and as much as im like. I fuckin hate catholics#its current western catholics that i rlly hate#theres at least a long history of intellectual freedom and science#yes at times obvs limited and repressed. but at least its not yknow. literalism. i would fuckin die#are yall really out here thinking abt literal adam and eve and creation in 7 days. really. REALLY?#altho. i went to hs with a young earth creationist who thot dinos and humans existed at the same time#so why. am i not surprised anymore#anyway yeah individual catholics are largely insane and i will fistfight trads#but at least like. INSTITUTIONALLY. we're allowed space to think and question#doctrinally thats allowed. even if trads refuse it in practice#ho ho holy shit yall#deadass did not think there was a significant amount of biblical literalists and creationists on TUMBLR of all places#both atheists and trads who think religion and science are fundamentally opposed.#think again. u r all. dummies. i am too tired to be polite abt it#im tired of ppl with no thinking skills <-its elections here today im extra full of rage#mrk saunders can catch my hands ALSO#i saw someone say that theres no basis to interpret the bible as allegorical#as if everytime Jesus said a parable ans the apostles took it literally#he had to sit them down and be like#boys. i love u. stop being stupid. its an allegory for the people.#WHAT THE FUCK IS A PARABLE IF NOT AN ALLEGORICAL INSTRUCTIVE STORY#genuinely. maybe i am naive. but deadass thot the adam and steve crowd thing was a joke. not a genuine argument against the gays#or at the very least a rare opinion blown out of proportion#ARE YALL OK IN PROTESTANT MAJORITY AREAS???????
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[ID: A Digital Illustration of the main 5 characters of Dialtown, with minor design changes and their object heads replaced with people heads. From left to right:
Oliver has chin length dark brown hair with part of it pulled back into a small ponytail, as well as an eye path over his right eye and a sleeve tattoo of a film reel and fire on his left forearm. He is smiling and has his hands posed around his face with finger frames.
Randy has long brown hair and is wearing a faded cyan beanie with "fuckface" on the band. He has his arms and a leg raised in a defensive manner and a look of fear on his face with tears in his eyes.
Gingi is stiched together of several animals and skins of green, red, and yellow hues. He has a catlike ear on the right side of his face, a ram like hron on the left side of his face, hoof for a left food, claws on his right food, one wing peaking out from behind him to the left, hair covering his left eye that runs along his back into a long tail. He is leaning over and has his hands under his chin and smiling smugly.
Karen has shoulder length hair with a gold streak in the center and wearing cowboy boots. She is smiling with her eyes closed and has her hands raised to her shoulders in fist and her left leg raised.
Norm is standing with one arm behind is back, and the other tipping his hat up. His sticky-note face is drawn as a smile
end ID]
#hi. middle of id writing. why did i design gnat like this this fuckin sucks how do you explain this.#woah. long as ID. epic#ANYWAYS the important tags ->#dialtown#oliver swift#randy jade#karen dunn#norm allen#ashenart#ANYWAYS yeah i finished dialtown whats wrong with all these people (affectionate)#fucked up gnat has literally one of my best drawn poses why did gnat come out so good wadda hell wadda hell
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something something the cast of thh singing “highschool is killing me” from nerdy prudes must die something something it’s the same idea where they’re singing it cuz they’re teenagers and they don’t like highschool but also because highschool is literally killing them.
#‘and I can survive it for only so long. high school is killing me. im so fuckin dead.’#‘a cesspool faux democracy. it’s one hell of a normal abnormality.’#‘3 o’clock countdown. everyday lockdown. classroom arrest. is god the one giving the test?’#‘it’s not cool it’s a tragedy. I’ve been thrown to the wolves of the community.’#and other fun stuff from the song. give it a listen#danganronpa#danganronpa trigger happy havoc#ramblepuff
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i tried coloring this and failed
#so now its in grayscale#his legs are so fuckin long what the hell#my art#fanart#digital art#sketch#one piece#one piece fanart#WAIT YOU CAN SEE MY CURSOR AJHBSAJKHDBJB FUCK#today is just not my day#nico robin#aokiji one piece#kuzan one piece#ill think about robins past too long and start uncontrollably sobbing
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