coming to terms with being a vampire, i kinda ignore it because it is so much stronger than my other non-human identities to a point that it scares me?.. i see myself as a vampire both mentally and physically. so ima ramble about it and see what happens
im definitely sanguinary, my blood thirst is uh quite something, but its manageable thankfully the blood is the main thing not the killing/hunting
i switch between 3 states of viewing my physical body: 1. my body is a corpse 2. my body shouldnt exist (mist form) 3. my body should be an animal's. theres a noticeable difference between *is* and *should*
typically im in animal state (wow! so surprising!) and i can feel my fur,tail,ears,eyes,ect but i cant see them and i know theyre not actually there (ill write more on my animalhood later bcs ive been busy studying myself and i need to write my thoughts down on it)
second most common state is corpse, this ones hard to talk about bcs it always scares the shit out of me when i remember that im dead. technically im dead when in animal state but its easier to ignore when i have a wagging tail. its like becoming hyper aware of your mortality except everything makes no sense? i could try to make more sense of it and work out the rules to it but i think its too nonsensical for that. main issue is that i forget i need to do living ppl things like nutrition and rest, and im working on and getting better with that
finally, shouldnt have a physical body state- it comes on during times of stress and usually happens in form of a panic attack where im freaking out that i have a physical body (instead of being a cloud of mist or static electricity?) but it can also be a casual experience. pretty sure this is out of a want to disappear or run away when stressed but due to a mix of reasons its ended up with me wanting run away from my own body and getting confused as to why i cant
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the great irony of early one piece antagonists believing zoro was the actual captain and using luffy as a puppet ... oda really threw us a bone and curb-stomped it right in our faces. yes, zoro could be a captain in his own right. yes, zoro could match luffy in strength. yes, zoro knows this perfectly well. and you know what? he chose luffy two years ago, and he will continue to choose luffy again and again. roronoa zoro, the pirate hunter, who followed a wannabe pirate with a nonexistent crew on a whim because luffy brought him his swords and made a half-assed attempt at a bargain. zoro, who made a vow to never lose again on both his and luffy's honor. zoro, who told luffy he'd make him commit harakiri if he got in the way of zoro's goal, only to turn around and be willing to sacrifice his dream if it means that luffy reaches his. zoro, who stood in place and took luffy's pain and told a warlord to take his head instead of luffy's, who got down on his knees before his supposed rival and begged mihawk to mentor him so that he could return strong enough to protect his captain. zoro, who has conqueror's haki- a natural born leader- but chooses to stay at the right hand of a man he has deemed greater than himself.
and the thing that luffy fears most? being alone. being rejected. being left behind. and what should have been his foil- the pirate hunter to his pirate king, the nonbeliever to his divine, the king of hell to his sun god- instead becomes his first and most devout follower; the one who demands to follow him to hell and back. oughhhggg i'm sick to my stomach
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COMING THIS SUMMER:
7 MONTHS
36 ARTISTS
1 REALLY PERSISTENT SKELETON
IT'S THE 2023 TRUNGOTHON MEGA ART TELEPHONE GAME
[RATED R]
RIDICULOUS. this was so big that even with tumblr's recently expanded image limit i still had to weld every other image together to fit it into one post, but if you want to see every image in its full glory, i made a page for it on my website (jankily hand-coded and probably not very mobile friendly).
it was so fun to see which elements stuck around and for how long. i still can't believe the skeleton got banished and then resurrected 15 iterations later!
huge thanks to everyone who participated. in order:
@mobileleprechaun, ink drinker, @dimetrodrawn, @escherbug, @gachimushi, @ikrutt, @dunwichdrawsstuff, @mathpope, @bedupolker, @solidagold, @a-beepbop, thenauticalwarlock, @ohpsshaw, @eisly, @juenavei, me, @librivore42, @greedol, @mechabutchzilla, @phanta-friends, @tickfleato, @skelizard, elixer, @espimyte, @noctomnis-art, @bluedotjpeg, @fetus-cakes, @iguanodont, @flame-shadow, @kombuchaclock, @slimekingmike, @crtastrophe, @leona-florianova, @skelebee, @nutspider, @palossssssand, and gachimushi again for the header image to this post
whew! now time to seriously consider a yearlong 72-artist game...
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JUST READ EVERYTHING THERE IS ABOUT THE ZOMBIE AU !!!!! LOVE THIS SO MUCH WAAAA
you mentioned that ritsu, by the end of the story, is broken and practically insane. once shigeo is cured and "back to normal," i'm guessing that ritsu doesn't exactly go back to "being normal" either :( he'd gone through too much to be the same after everything... do you think he ever goes back to old habits and treats mob like he's still a zombie, only to be shellshocked at the fact that it's all over?
also this au is very reminiscent of this post (grieving the undead)
https://www.tumblr.com/applejuicewerewolf/735120232698593280/no-need-to-keep-this-in-the-tags-youre
WEEEE IMSO GLAD U LIKE IT it's the direct result of my brainworms
yes ritsu is definitely Not Normal by the end and he should be put into therapy immediately. poor kid's seen way too much at way too young of an age, and he's been put through unreal amounts of stress that is definitely not good for a growing brain. he most certainly does not go back to "normal" when mob is cured, and much like his brother, he's never quite the same as he was before
he Absolutely has trouble squashing old habits, yes. he tends to just Do Shit for mob that he's fully capable of doing now, no matter how simple, bc as a zombie mob couldn't rly do all that. he opens food packages for him automatically, he unlatches doors even though mob is perfectly capable of Figuring Out a Lock. sometimes when it's raining ritsu will even pull mob's hood over his head—he used to do that for him when he was a zombie, to keep the rain off him, even if zombie mob didn't rly give a damn if it was raining or not
if mob were anybody else, he'd prolly find it a bit insulting, but instead he finds it kind of amusing most of the time
sometimes he grabs mob's hand and leads him around and it's only when they're like halfway there that he realizes what he's doing. mob doesn't particularly mind, but when his goal is elsewhere and they're aiming for different places he has to go "ritsu ..." and it's this awkward blinking session like . oh .right. yes.ofc
i think mob would ? maybe get a little annoyed at the hovering that ritsu totally unintentionally does. he hovers so closely bc zombie mob never rly minded, or ,, noticed. so now that he's back to "human" levels of awareness it is . extremely obvious. and it's not even that ritsu is Worried, it's just like he's spent so long Hovering and Fretting that it's just kinda second nature to him now
it's a strange role-reversal—it's very weird for mob to wake up and have scattered memories of the last two years, and suddenly feel like he's the younger brother instead. ritsu is now the caretaker, and it's... strange. and honestly, the first real goal mob has in mind after waking up and recovering for a while is settling back into the role of older brother. it's important to him
but much like how reigen now has trouble corralling that kid, mob has some difficulty getting ritsu to settle back into it too. he's too high-strung and stressed and permanently scarred to rest and let people take care of him, too used to being the caretaker himself. for the longest time he was forced into the mindset of, "you stop, you die," so ritsu keeps going bc his instincts r shot and he feels like he's in danger all the time
after a while of gentle nudging, mob gets the hang of convincing ritsu to lean on people, to lean on him, but mob is quietly distraught at the overall state of ritsu's mental well-being. it takes him a while to rly get a grasp of how bad it truly is, but once he realizes the damage, he's .. so fuckin upset w himself for letting this happen to his brother
as if it's rly his fault at all, but he regrets being slow and getting overrun by that zombie horde to begin with. maybe if he hadn't turned, ritsu would be a lot better off now—they woulda been able to join a settlement, and live in a place where there is supplies and food and clothing and other people to talk to other than your mumbling brother who no longer fully understands you. it likely would've spared him a lot of trauma
and alsoYES that post is EXACTLY it the concept of mourning a person u still see every day is ougougouhoguhg ,., .,witsu ..................
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the thing that keeps getting to me about the line "and i'm mad as hell you let me give you all that youth for free" and "i'm just mad as hell cause i loved this place for / so long, london" is that it ties back to "the manuscript", actually. it ties back to "nothing new," it ties back to "never grow up," it ties back to the red tour fundon london shirt. she loved this city for so long, she let older men take her girlhood ("give me back my girlhood, it was mine FIIIIIIIRST"), and my god "come one, come all, it's happening again" in "how did it end" really brings it all home
it's not just this guy. it's every guy. it's constantly trying to make this fantastic fairytale romance happen in a city americans associate with castles and romance and history. it's like one day you wake up, and there's no fuckin fairytale, no fountain of youth, and the city is a smog-filled wasteland ruined by the industrial era. she loved this place for so long, how DARE you ruin it for her. it's a star imploding and sinking down into a black hole of thought
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[ID: A Digital Illustration of the main 5 characters of Dialtown, with minor design changes and their object heads replaced with people heads. From left to right:
Oliver has chin length dark brown hair with part of it pulled back into a small ponytail, as well as an eye path over his right eye and a sleeve tattoo of a film reel and fire on his left forearm. He is smiling and has his hands posed around his face with finger frames.
Randy has long brown hair and is wearing a faded cyan beanie with "fuckface" on the band. He has his arms and a leg raised in a defensive manner and a look of fear on his face with tears in his eyes.
Gingi is stiched together of several animals and skins of green, red, and yellow hues. He has a catlike ear on the right side of his face, a ram like hron on the left side of his face, hoof for a left food, claws on his right food, one wing peaking out from behind him to the left, hair covering his left eye that runs along his back into a long tail. He is leaning over and has his hands under his chin and smiling smugly.
Karen has shoulder length hair with a gold streak in the center and wearing cowboy boots. She is smiling with her eyes closed and has her hands raised to her shoulders in fist and her left leg raised.
Norm is standing with one arm behind is back, and the other tipping his hat up. His sticky-note face is drawn as a smile
end ID]
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