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#frankly even i am not sure what some of my mid-read posts are talking about
astronicht · 22 days
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Incomplete list of stuff that made me go apeshit reading Fellowship for the first time, medievalist edition (part II)
Part I here. Disclaimer: this is for fun!
Love that people keep stressing that they are going to the ELVES for COUNCIL. Old English names, especially among the rulers of Wessex, Northumbria, Mercia, etc, were often Elf Theme Names, one of the most famous and enduring of which is Alfred. Written the old way, Ælfræd or Ælfred (as in Alfred the Great), means Elf-Council, aka "counseled by elves". In their hearts... everyone wants to be Alfred... possibly this is only funny 2 me.
Tom Bombadil doing a training montage in the fucking magic system of Middle Earth?? He teaches Frodo to recite a poem that will summon him, Tom Bombadil, in times of need! Frodo gets kidnapped by undead wights in a barrow (like many a good young person in an Old Norse saga before him) and dutifully recites this magic poem. Frodo learned Recite Magic Poem! TOM BOMBADIL SMASHES THRU THE WALL OF THE BARROW LIKE THE KOOL-ADE MAN AND RECITES A BIGGER, STRONGER POEM??
At this point I gave up on trying to be normal about anything. As such, I'm pausing on Tom Bombadil again.
It helped (?? not psychologically) that Tom Bombadil recited something that felt a bit familiar, when he banished the wights. It's not anything like a direct translation, if indeed it bears any purposeful resemblance to the actual recorded medieval galdor called Against a Wen. Regardless, Against a Wen is an okay?? example of what a spoken word magic poem would look like, and why it's similar to what Tom Bombadil (and later Gandalf and others) do. Left screenshot is Bombadil against a barrow-wight. Right is Against a Wen, in English translation. (a wen was possibly a skin ailment, like a mole or a cancer). Banishing to/beyond the hills and shrivelling are the apparent themes. You don't have to follow me on this one, much less agree. Frankly this is the point I went off the deep end, probably.
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Galdor can also protect! This just happens to be a banishment.
Gollum got exiled (the worst thing the early medieval and apparently proto-hobbit law could do to you) but not even for murder. No one found out about the murder. He just sucked.
ALSO Gollum lied and said that his matriarch (who exiled him) gave him the Ring. This implies it was plausible she'd give out rings, implying female ring-giver (standard role of a king). This is mentioned once and never again. ok!!
One last fun fact about galdor: it is the word at the end of "nightingale" isn't that lovely? Luthien's name in-universe means nightingale. This is fine!
I spent a lot of time researching Aragorn's favorite rock. I love these books. If I recall correctly it's a real rock! but possibly. just a cool rock.
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scuttling · 3 years
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Newbie
Fandom: Criminal Minds Pairing: Aaron Hotchner/Latina OFC Sophie Cortes Word Count: 3,786 Tags: SFW, Pre-relationship, Self-confidence issues, Canon-typical violence Summary: On Sophie’s first day at the BAU, she gets nervous. On Sophie’s second day at the BAU, they get a case. Collection: Sophie Cortes timeline, 0-6 Months at the BAU (See Masterlist for reading order) Link to A03 or read below! On Sophie’s first day at the BAU, she’s a little bit nervous—change your outfit three times, run your Keurig with no cup underneath, hair up? hair down? hair up? nervous—so she takes a deep, steadying breath before pushing open the glass double doors that lead to the bullpen.
She took cues about attire from other people she saw the day of her interview, so today she is wearing a simple black and white dress with pumps and gold jewelry, and she feels she fits in, but she gets more than a few curious looks when she enters.
Her instructions are to report to Agent Hotchner’s office first thing, but she is stopped on her way there by a tall, handsome, impeccably dressed man with a frankly gorgeous smile. He’s Black, with a shaved head and a great voice, and suddenly she doesn’t mind the interference.
“Hi, I’m Derek Morgan. You’re Sophia Cortes, right? Hotch mentioned you were starting today.” She smiles warmly.
“Yes, pleasure to meet you. You can call me Sophie,” she says, reaching out a hand for a shake. “Agent Hotchner told me you’re from Chicago, and so am I. Please say you aren’t a White Sox fan.” His smile becomes even brighter, if possible. She might be halfway in love with him already.
“God, no. If you want to watch good baseball, it’s the Cubs all the way.” She laughs lightly, happy to have a little rapport with a new colleague so soon.
“I’m glad to hear it.”
“I’m glad there’s a little more color in the office now,” he jokes, and she understands where he’s coming from completely. It’s bad enough to be the only woman in the room, sometimes, but when she’s also the only person of color, she feels… inadequate, somehow. Like she has to work twice as hard to be seen, even though she literally stands out among her peers.
A blonde woman with a fair complexion and pretty, almost doll-like facial features steps up behind him, and he looks over, introduces her.
“Sophie Cortes, this is Jennifer Jareau, our Communications Director.”
“Everyone calls me JJ,” she says with a smile and a handshake.
“Nice to meet you. If you’re the Communications Director, you’ve got the toughest job in the unit, then.” JJ looks surprised, then nods her head.
“Absolutely, but don’t tell them that. They’d never believe you,” she says with a playful shove of Derek’s shoulder. “Don’t let being a profiler go to your head like this guy.”
“Who, me? I’m as down to earth as the next devastatingly handsome guy.”
“Yeah, right,” a voice says from her right, and Sophie turns to see a woman approaching them with pale skin and dark hair, bangs, a kind smile. “We love you and all, but you’re a little cocky.”
“Is it being cocky when I’m that good, though?” he asks with a wink, and Sophie already feels more at ease just hearing them talk with each other. She can get acclimated to anything when the environment is right. “This is my partner, Emily Prentiss. Prentiss, this is Sophie Cortes. The new newbie.” She sets down her bag, heads over to shake hands.
“Nice to meet you, Sophie. Love the dress.” Sophie thanks her for the compliment. “I appreciate you taking the newbie title from me; fair warning, you’ll probably be here for five years before they stop calling you that.”
“Ah, I’ve been called worse, I’ll take it.” She glances around their workspace, looks up to Derek. “Is my partner here? Dr. Reid, right?”
“Oh, he texted, said his train is running late,” JJ explains. “He’s really excited to meet you, though, so don’t mind if he’s a little… overwhelming, when he does get here.”
“You’ll fall in love with the kid, everyone does,” Derek explains, and it makes her heart feel warm. This is definitely a team she wants to be a part of. “But he can be intense.”
“I appreciate the heads up.” Before she can say any more, Agent Hotchner descends the stairs, heads toward them.
“Good morning. I can see the team has taken the liberty of introducing themselves.”
“Hello again, Agent Hotchner.” Sophie shakes his hand, and he smiles softly.
“Hotch, please. You can put your things in that desk and I’ll give you a tour, if you’d like.”
“Sure, sounds great.” The team shares a brief look, but she doesn’t know them well enough to comment, just stows her belongings and follows the unit chief. “The team was very welcoming. They seem really tight knit,” she comments as they leave the bullpen, and he looks at her, nods.
“When you spend as much time together as we do, traveling as we do, it’s inevitable. Was it not that way in Intelligence?”
“You couldn’t get those people to sit down to dinner together, let alone tease one another. They’d probably bite each other’s heads off.” They worked well together, but in private the environment could be pretty toxic. She knows Unit Chief Roberts wouldn’t have put up with it if the team didn’t get such good results.
“I can see how this environment might seem a little strange, then,” he says, opening the door for her. They take the elevator.
“Strange, but good. It reminds me of when I was a cop, and I’ve missed that kind of camaraderie.”
“Well I’m glad you felt welcomed. We really are happy to have you.” They approach a closed door which he raps on lightly; the woman who answers has a bright smile and an even brighter outfit, lime green and navy blue, with matching accessories, including green glasses. She makes Sophie feel very… plain.
“Oh, hi!” the woman says, and her grin gets bigger. “Wow, you’re beautiful.” Sophie laughs, a little taken aback, and Hotch sighs lightly like he’s used to the odd behavior. It’s all very endearing.
“This is Penelope Garcia, our technical analyst. Garcia, this is Sophia Cortes, our new profiler.” She reaches out a hand.
“It’s nice to meet you. You can call me Sophie, or Cortes, whichever you prefer. And you’re beautiful, too. I love your style.”
“Thank you; I can tell we’re going to be fast friends. You’ll have me on speed dial,” she says, walking to her desk and jotting something down on a pink Post-It. “If you need something researched, narrowed down, blown up, compared, etc, I’m your girl.” She hands her the note—her direct line—and smiles. “I’m sure you have much more to see, but don’t be a stranger!”
Something tells Sophie she won’t be.
He shows her all around the office—copiers, the breakroom, supply closets, restrooms—and they end up in the briefing room, the last two to walk in.
“You remember Gideon,” Hotch says, and the man nods a greeting. Still as personable as ever, she thinks. “And this is your partner, Dr. Spencer Reid.” She’s not surprised by his age—she read some articles about him once she had his name, knows they call him ‘boy genius’ quite literally—but she is a little thrown by his nervous smile, his dark eyes, his untidy flop of brown hair. Derek wasn’t kidding when he called him kid; he looks like he belongs at an after school chess club meeting, or something.
He’s adorable. Like a puppy. She immediately wants to keep him. She smiles wide.
“Sophia Cortes, but you can call me Sophie, if you like.” He stands, and they shake hands. “It’s a pleasure to meet you, I’ve heard all about you.”
“It’s nice to meet you, too. I hear you’re from Chicago. Did you know Chicago is home to 2,716,450 residents living in over 100 neighborhoods?” She smiles wider.
“Yeah, with 600 parks, 500 playgrounds, 29 beaches, and 26 miles of open lakefront. It’s beautiful. Have you been?”
“We worked a case there, once. I didn’t get to see any parks or beaches.” He makes a frowning kind of face and she laughs softly, takes the seat Hotch offers her.
“Well you’re young, there’s time.”
“Now that we’re all caught up on introductions, we can get started,” Hotch states, and Sophie’s first morning meeting begins.
It’s a little boring, as far as first days go, but she doesn’t mind. She has access to her computer, gets it set up the way she wants, finds out from the team where all the best places are nearby for coffee or drinks or lunch. She meets with the section chief for introductions, goes over some policies with Hotch—who, she was right, is definitely funnier and more thoughtful than he must let on. He probably feels like he has to act a certain way, because he’s the boss, but she likes pulling the human out of him, makes it a personal mission going forward to make him smile.
He’s too handsome not to smile. On Sophie’s second day at the BAU, they get a case.
“I usually like to let new profilers get acclimated to the team before going into the field,” Hotch tells her as they board the plane, “but it didn’t make sense to keep you in Quantico. Are you sure you’re up for it?”
“Of course. That’s why I’m here, I want to help.” She stows her bag overhead. “I’ll observe, give my input when I have it, follow everyone’s lead.”
“Sounds good. You know you can come to any of us if you have questions.”
“I know. Thank you.”
They do a deeper debrief on the plane—three women have been murdered, all in their mid 30’s, athletic and blonde, last seen dropping their children off at school—and Sophie is tasked with going to the most recent crime scene with Hotch and Prentiss.
“What can you tell about him so far?” Hotch asks her while the detective on the case speaks with Prentiss about some details of the scene. She glances around the room, takes it all in.
“Well, there’s blood everywhere. Serious overkill each time. He either knew the victims, or has a deep-seated hatred for a woman they remind him of; my money is on is the latter.” She looks through the kitchen, at the bloody footprints that lead to the back door. “Tracked blood all through the house, left the back door open. He’s disorganized. He may have seen them at the school and planned to follow them home, but he didn’t do any pre-surveillance on them. Something about these women triggers him and he acts within the hour.”
“Would you call it a crime of passion, then?” She looks over, curious, then realizes he’s testing her.
“No. A crime of passion indicates some level of culpability by the victim. Provocation. These women are just in the wrong place at the wrong time with the wrong face.” He nods, satisfied with her answer.
“So how do we think he’s finding the victims?”
“He could have a child under his care who goes to that school, or he could live near the school, work there. He could work the night shift somewhere else and pass the school on his way home. I think it’s too early to narrow that down.”
“Any idea what weapon he used?”
“We would have to really examine the cast off to be certain, but my guess would be… a hammer, or some other small, blunt tool. This wasn’t done by a baseball bat or a shovel or something larger. We can also get an estimated height and weight of the unsub if we chart the area void of blood here,” she adds, pointing to a bare spot on the wall with blood droplets above and around it. “I’m guessing we’ll send the photos to Garcia for analysis.”
“That’s right. I agree with your assessment,” he begins, but she senses hesitation.
“But?” He looks over at her, thoughtful.
“We’re missing something.”
“We are, or I am?” she asks for clarification, and he smiles just slightly.
“We are.” She takes that as a good sign, walks another loop around the room for something they would have overlooked, and she brightens when she thinks she’s discovered it.
“Her purse is still here, cash, credit cards. Her jewelry was still on her body when she was found. But does it look to you like something’s missing from the entryway table?” She points to it, and it’s very ordinary: a calendar, a bowl for change, hooks for keys, a couple of photographs—with a notable blank space in the middle. “Maybe a photo?”
“We should ask the husband if he knows what was there. Good work,” he tells her, and he heads off in the direction of the husband; she follows close behind.
Back at the precinct, the team fills each other in on what they’ve learned.
“So our unsub killed each of these women with a ball-peen hammer, striking 8-10 times. Blood spatter analysis puts him at about 5’11”, 6’0” tall, around 275 pounds. The photo taken from the third victim’s house was of the victim and her 7-year-old son Josh; similar photos were taken from the other two homes—photos of mother and son.” Prentiss tacks copies of the three missing photos to the board.
“Sounds like maybe the woman they remind him of is his mother,” Reid states.
“That’s what we’re going with. We’re still not sure how he finds his victims, though,” Prentiss mentions, and Sophie takes a breath, hesitates.
“Do you have something?” Morgan asks and she shrugs, unsure.
“Maybe? One of the theories we threw out there was that he works overnight and drives past the school on his way home from work, when the kids are being dropped off. If he killed them with a ball-peen hammer, maybe we should look for machine shops in the area with overnight shifts? Those are typically used in metalworking, not construction.” She feels like all eyes are on her, and it makes her nervous. “That could be completely irrelevant, it’s just a thought.”
“It’s a good thought; I’ll have Garcia pull us a list, we can split up and pass around the description, see if our guy is a metal worker. Good call, newbie.” Morgan leaves to take the call, and JJ leans over with a smile.
“Don’t second guess yourself. You’re doing great so far. Theories are important, even if they’re wrong.” Sophie returns the expression, nods.
“Thanks. I’ve just gotta get used to the collaborative environment; haven’t been in one of those in a while.”
“You’d never know it. You’re fitting right in.” She takes it as a compliment, is happy to be of some use to the investigation and not just getting in the way.
The rest of the day is pretty quiet; they test out a few other possible theories, deliver the profile to the late shift, plan to hit the school early in the morning to look for potential suspects and to pass around the description to see if anyone meets it who works there, or lives nearby.
She goes to the school with Reid and JJ, speaks to teachers, janitorial staff, but none of them know a man like the one they’re looking for. She meets up with the others, who were speaking to parents, after about an hour of questioning, but they also come up blank.
“We’ve still got your machine shop theory,” Reid says as they drive back to the precinct. “The others should be done with those soon, so there’s still a chance we can find this guy today.” JJ’s phone rings, and she answers on the car bluetooth.
“JJ, there’s been another attack,” Prentiss says. “1419 5th Street—you guys are closer. Can you head over?”
“We’re on the way,” JJ answers, turning right, and Reid looks thoughtful.
“An attack? She’s not dead?”
“No. Not yet, at least. She’s being rushed to the hospital; her husband was home, caught the attacker in the middle of it all.”
“Did he get a good look at the unsub?” JJ asks.
“He’s with a sketch artist now. Hotch wants you to circulate the sketch ASAP; we think we may have a hit at one of the metal shops, if you can send it to me, too.”
“You got it.” She ends the call, looks at Sophie through the rearview mirror. “Drinks are on you tonight, newbie,” she says playfully, and Sophie can’t help but laugh. She had been so intimidated by the thought of joining the BAU, and she’s glad to see she’s useful, can actually help make a difference. It’s a feeling she won’t forget for a while.
Later that night, when they plan to try to catch the unsub before he leaves for work, she deflates, a little.
Hotch, Morgan, Prentiss, and Reid are going to breach the unsub’s house while JJ covers the front door and Sophie covers the back. She had assumed she would get to be part of the team going in, with her tactical background, and immediately thinks the worst, that they’re happy to have her brain, but that her body is a hindrance. Too short, too weak… it’s how she’s been treated her whole life, and she hates to think that she’s being dismissed here so soon for the same reasons. She tries not to let it show, but she dwells on it, a little, lets it get her down even though she knows she shouldn’t.
She snaps out of it when there’s movement on the back porch, a hulking, shadowy figure in the darkness.
“I’ve got him coming out of the back,” she whispers into her comms, and she draws her gun and points it at the unsub. “Stop, FBI!” The guy turns to face her—he fits the sketch to a tee, a real mountain of a man as the blood spatter analysis suggested—takes one good look, and goes running in the other direction.
Alright, so, he’s clearly not impressed. She can work with that.
“He’s running, I’m in pursuit.” She holsters her weapon and her boots pound the grass as she books it his way. The good thing about being so much smaller than him is that she’s much faster, catches up to him fairly easily, and again, she shouts for him to stop, which, of course, he doesn’t.
Her first thought is that she’s got to get this guy on the ground no matter what—this isn’t a shoplifter or something, he’s wanted for murdering three women and attempting to murder a fourth, so a little force is okay if necessary, and judging by his build, it’s going to be necessary.
Her second thought is, if I can’t catch him, I don’t deserve to be here. And that’s the one that makes the decision for her.
She leaps onto his back, grabs fistfuls of his shirt, and shakes him forward, backward, forward again, trying to throw off his balance. When he starts to wobble, she slides down his back, hooking a leg around one of his and driving her knee into the bend of his; he goes down, face first, and she reaches behind her for her cuffs, slaps them on his wrists before he has a chance to turn or stand. “Jason Farber, you’re under arrest for three counts of murder and one count of attempted murder.”
“Attempted murder?” he asks, turning his face so he can speak more easily. He seems pretty calm for a runner, maybe just resigned to his fate, and she leans over so she can see him better. He’s breathing fine, uninjured, and just looks pissed. “You mean that overbearing bitch isn’t dead?”
“Yep, sorry to be the one to tell you, Jason, but she’s alive and kicking.” She continues to read him his rights, and is just pulling him to his feet when Morgan and Hotch skid to a stop behind her; if they look surprised… who is she kidding? They look surprised as fuck.
“Damn, Cortes. This guy’s like three of you,” Morgan marvels as she walks him back toward the cars so he can be tossed into the back of a black and white. “Did you make him an offer he couldn’t refuse?” She scoffs at that, and even the unsub snorts in amusement.
“She tackled me. Wasn’t counting on that.”
“I don’t think anybody was,” she admits, getting him into a cop car and shutting the door. She joins the rest of the team, gets a high-five from JJ.
“Hey, score one for the ladies. We never get to do any tackling.”
“She did better than I would have,” Reid admits without shame, and she laughs.
“It’s all in the legs. I lift chains at the gym.” He gives her a look like he’s got no idea what she’s talking about, which almost makes her laugh again. “You do pull-ups, but with chains around your legs.” She demonstrates, squatting and gesturing to her legs like she’s wrapping something around them.
“Okay, you’re the real deal, newbie,” Morgan says when she stands up fully. “Remind me not to run from you unless I want a face full of dirt.” The group breaks apart after that, but Hotch lingers, gives her a meaningful look when she makes eye contact.
“I bet that felt good.” She leans against the side of the SUV, feels a deep conversation coming on.
“It did. I’m stronger than I look, and sometimes it’s fun to be underestimated, but other times it gets really annoying.”
“I can imagine,” he says, nodding, and he mimics her posture. “I just want to make sure you know you don’t have anything to prove. I hired you for a reason.”
“I know. But I don’t like being a one-trick pony, and I’m definitely not waiting around for one of you guys when an unsub is on the move.”
“And I wouldn't expect you to. As for the ‘one-trick pony’ thing, that’s not how I see you at all. You’re extremely well-rounded, and that’s why I wanted you.” His eyes are kind, but penetrating, and she dips her head, nods.
“And that’s why I don’t want to disappoint you.”
“After what you’ve shown me the last two days, I don’t think that’s possible, but I want you to know you can come to me when something’s bothering you. That’s why I’m here.”
“I know. I won’t forget it,” she assures, and he stands fully, cocks an eyebrow in her direction.
“I heard drinks are on you tonight,” he says with a straight face, and she laughs lightly.
“I guess we better get going before they run up the tab, then.”
They walk in companionable silence back to the SUV.
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joezworld · 3 years
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📁
Specifically, any headcanons of the Sodor Engines interacting with the internet, or the internet in general?
For some reason, I’d imagine that podcasts and the like are popular among vehicles in general.
That is a question that I've been working on for some time - because I'm workshopping my own Tornado headcanon (and boy oh boy does she use the internet a lot) - but I have some ideas for the Sodor engines as well: 
Henry is probably the most "plugged in" engine on the island, weirdly enough. One of his drivers gave him an iPod back in the early 2000s, and kindly preloaded it with a bunch of torrented music.
 BTW, that works because all the engines are now equipped with automatic train warning systems, and the little on-board computer has a USB port - as a nice side effect it allows music players to work with the engines in the same way as bone-conducting headphones do. The computer also acts as some kind of computer interface, which I am not going to explain how that works because Jesus Christ I don’t know how it does either.  
 Henry has managed to upgrade his iPod a few times since thanks to hand-me-down units from NWR staff, so he eventually got his buffers on a wifi-enabled iPod Touch and now downloads new music from the station wifi. He does listen to podcasts, but as every other engine will tell you, you could show Henry ten thousand new and exciting songs from the best artists in the world, and his top ten played songs are still going to be Genesis, Phil Collins, and Yes. Bear considers it a win that he managed to convince Henry to regularly listen to Rush after a mere twenty years of convincing. 
 Mavis and Daisy listen to a very interesting program called The News, because as stated elsewhere, they invest a shitload of money and need to be on top of things. Thomas and Percy wish that Daisy would use headphones or something similar to that, instead of listening to Bloomberg TV at loud volumes in the middle of the night. Toby frankly doesn’t mind, as it’s very nice to be kept up-to-date on the outside world.  
In a move that surprises no-one, Bill and Ben have a podcast where they talk about whatever they think about at that moment - usually horse-racing, investing, and clay mining. As such, they have a wide audience, almost none of whom know that they’re that Bill and Ben, as their podcast is audio-only.  
 In an also unsurprising move, Edward and BoCo have been made very much aware that Bill and Ben have a podcast, but are still unsure as to what the hell a podcast is, despite being frequent guests on it.  
Of the main line diesels, only Bear has shown any real interest in the internet, and was immediately put in charge of the Amazon Alexa when a unit was installed in the diesel shed. He also has an iPod that he got for Christmas a few years back. (The NWR has a very good personal  electronics recycling program called give it to Henry, he’ll make use it.)  
Bear does listen to podcasts as well as music, but his choices are so insufferably boring that even Henry refuses to listen to them. (I don’t really listen to podcasts - despite making one - so insert the most boring podcast you can think of here.) 
 As for other internet uses... 
Gordon is very up-to-date on the newest social media trends - somehow - but only really cares when he is involved. He won’t admit it, but he’s been trying to figure out how to work a camera/selfie stick for some time so he can start up his own Instagram account. So far he has been unsuccessful, but one day he will manage it. 
 James has had an ongoing feud with his own Wikipedia page for about a decade now. The article sourced most of its information about his construction off of some out-of-print book about the L&Y. The book in question is accurate about James’ class, but not James himself - as he was a prototype engine. There’s no other primary sources available, so the very dedicated Wikipedia mod who created the page won’t change it - no matter how much James complains that he was there! He knows what happened! 
Every now and again a TTTE fan blog/tumblr will make a post about hypothetical “ships” of the Sodor engines. Most of the time it’s shipping the core characters like Gordon and Henry, much to Gordon’s bafflement and Henry’s amusement! 
Only one blog (a ttte fan tumblr by the curious name of @mean-scarlet-deceiver  ) has gotten it right. Henry actually reached out to congratulate this blogger, but was unfortunately mistaken for a very dedicated roleplay account.  
James is very annoyed by these blogs, as they have never once correctly guessed who he is “shipped” with! He has tried several times to be seen in public with Delta, but these events have never gone as planned - the “best” instance is when Edward rolled by at exactly the wrong moment, leading to months of speculation that JamesxEdward was the ship to look out for! 
Thomas, being a generally oblivious sort of engine, was totally unaware of the online fan community around the TV show until he started getting actively harassed by vloggers and Instagrammers in the early 2010s. He’s fine with it now, but it was a deeply unusual experience for most of 2012.  
Toby has developed an unexpectedly popular following on social media following his collab with Stormzy. His official twitter is huge now, with over a million followers, even if he has no idea what to do with it. He posts rarely, but usually manages to make an incredible post when he does.
No-one is sure who told Oliver what a “fan-production” is, but if you manage to get ahold of him for any period of time and ask him nicely, he will lend his voice to your TTTE fan-project, so long as it isn’t about [INSERT TERRIBLE SOCIAL/POLITICAL VIEW(S) HERE]. This means that he has 100% voiced dramatic readings of NSFW Fanfics before, which is always an absolute riot to spring on people unannounced.
There is a series of slice-of-life TTTE fanfics on Ao3 that have been written with such accuracy and innate railway knowledge that people are sure it was written by a Sodor engine, but nobody knows which one.
The Culdee Fell Railway has very active Instagram, Twitter and YouTube accounts, with all of the engines and coaches showing up regularly. It’s about the closest any of the railways on Sodor have come to what those outside the UK would call “normal locomotive social media”.
The Skarloey Railway has social media accounts too, but they don’t really feature the engines in any meaningful way, instead being used as a normal service announcements page.  
 The SR is a real working railway that doesn’t rely on tourism money as much as the others do, so they get a bit of a pass here.  
 The Arlesdale Railway has Twitter and YouTube, which didn’t usually get a lot of hits until 2020, when Ivan and Amanda Farrier started badgering the staff to make some videos just to alleviate some boredom. So far the most popular videos on the channel are a front-mounted camera video of the entire line slow-tv style, Bert explaining how steam engines work, and a video of Mike complaining about Justin Bieber for a solid half-hour.  
 That’s about it as far as Sodor goes, but before we’re done, I want to take a moment to talk about Tornado, because I have some fun ideas for her... 
First of all, we need to establish that Tornado is very young. Her construction only started in late 90′s, and she was steamed to life in 2000, putting her firmly into the “Zoomer” category. Add in the fact that she was built by a bunch of old men who didn’t really know how to treat a new engine, and she was raised much more like a human than a locomotive - I’ll get to this much more in the proper Tornado Headcanon post, but what this means here is that when social media started being a thing in the mid-to-late 2000′s, the people at the A1 Trust decided that they needed a young person to run things like Twitter, Facebook, and Myspace... and, well, Tornado was the youngest person in the trust by a large margin.
I should state here that in the rest of the world, locomotives are on the internet at roughly the same level as humans are, so there’s plenty of equipment to connect a phone/computer/camera to an engine - being English, the A1 Trust didn’t know how common it was, but they managed to get it up and running just the same.
 So Tornado has very quickly become attuned to the internet, just like any other teenager would. (yes, let’s let that settle into our minds for a moment - Tornado is barely old enough to drink in the US!) Quite naturally that means that she knows social media inside and out, and is actually quite a proficient social media manager for the trust, managing all of their social pages. More than one person who has complained about the trust on twitter has unknowingly been complaining to Tornado herself! 
 “On the internet, nobody knows that you’re a dog Engine”. 
 Tornado has her own personal social media accounts too, but most/all of the time she gets mistaken for a very dedicated role-player, as the general perception of British Locomotives is that they don’t tweet. This has resulted in some amazing reactions from podcast hosts (because, as you might expect, Tornado is very knowledgeable about steam traction in the 21st century, and tweets about it often, so train podcasts want to talk to her) when she gets invited onto video calls, turns on her webcam, and is met with screams from people who suddenly realize that her profile picture is accurate.  
 By far the best instance of this is when she was invited onto a video call with a railfan podcast. She was at the NRM at the time and managed to convince them to let her use their Skype setup. A wide-angle lens was needed because she was on the turntable in the Great Hall, so that podcast quickly got sidetracked when her webcam was turned on and revealed Tornado, with Mallard, Evening Star, City of Truro, and Green Arrow visible behind her. Whatever the original topic was quickly got thrown out in favor of a 2-hour Q&A with some of the most famous engines in the UK. 
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softboywriting · 4 years
Text
Unmated
Summary: Sometimes your mate is right under your nose. [werewolf au] [fluff] [alpha shawn]
Word Count: 1.7k
|Masterlist in Bio|
Getting a date when you're a werewolf is hard, but getting a mate, that's even harder. Most of the other wolves in town are already taken and the human guys aren't interested once they find out what you are. Not that you really want a human mate. They just don't understand a lot of aspects of werewolf life and don't care to try to.
So when you find out that one of your pack alphas is making it harder for you to find someone, you're simultaneously annoyed and curious. Being cockblocked is one thing, but having it being done by the one alpha you've had a crush on since you moved into the pack house is another. Only problem is, this alpha is a pain in the ass and you can't decide if you want him, or if you want to strangle him.
Shawn has his pros and cons. He’s fine, like damn fine. Gorgeous even. But he’s bossy, always on your ass about keeping up with the pack on runs. Always reminding you when it’s your turn to do parameter checks because you do them with him and he won’t have you make him look bad. But at the same time he will make you lunch, give you extra time in the bathroom when the other wolves are fighting to get in, and even do your laundry when you forget about it in the laundry room. He cares, and those little moments make your heart race. You walk a fine line between wanting him, feeling drawn to him, and being irritated by his very existence.
Everything changes on one Friday night. You and your friend Tish have gone out of town to a new night club that has just opened. What better place to meet someone then there? Loads of people from all around are going to the grand opening. There is bound to be someone who will take you out.
Things are great. You chat up a few human guys, get some drinks off of them, dance a little, the usual for a night out. But as soon as you get the courage to ask for their number, they split. It's like they know something isn't right, like they sense you're a werewolf. It's annoying and quite frankly it hurts.
You turn your sights to a werewolf guy at the bar. Tall, light brown hair, real soft on the eyes. He's definitely a beta, not big enough to be an alpha. Perfect.
"Hey, how's it going?" You smile as you take a seat on the bar stool beside him.
He looks up from his drink and raises his eyebrows. "Me?"
"Yeah, you. How's it going?"
"Uh, good. Just chilling, having some whiskey." He lifts his glass and takes a sip.
"Yeah, cool." You wave at the bartender and he motions that he'll be there in a moment. This conversation isn't too thrilling, you'll need a drink. "Did you come with friends?"
"Yeah, they're around."
You wait, expecting him to continue the conversation but he doesn't. "Are you single or am I reading you wrong?"
The guy nearly chokes on his drink. "Am I single? Yes. But you're not, so why are you trying to flirt with me?"
"What?" You laugh in disbelief. "I'm extremely single. Have you gone scent blind?"
"You reek of an alpha. I'm not messing with an alpha's girl. I'm not stupid."
"An alph-" you freeze mid sentence as realization hits you like a truck. It's Shawn. You smell like Shawn, the only unmated alpha in your pack, the one you've got a crush on. He's cockblocking you and probably has been for a long while simply because he is unmated. "Oh my God."
"Yeah, sorry sweetheart." The guy chuckles to himself. "Good luck though."
____________________
Just after two in the morning you arrive home, Tish dropping you off and going to her own place. You get inside and drop your keys and shoes by the door. Everyone is asleep, the lights are all off. You head up to your bedroom and stop short of the door. It is open just a crack, the latch not completely flush to the frame. Did you miss closing it? No. You always close your door tight.
You push open the door and see a figure on your bed, illuminated by your winnie the Pooh night light in the corner. It's silly. You got that nightlight when you were ten and kept it solely because it was the last gift you received from your grandmother before she passed. Who knew it would actually come to use in your twenties.
"Hello?" You call out, flipping the switch beside your door and illuminating the room in soft white light.
Immediately the person stirs, stretching and then sitting up. It's Shawn. "What who- oh."
"What's going on here?" You ask, looking around just to make sure it's actually your bedroom. It is. One hundred percent. No doubt about it. "Why are you in my bed?"
Shawn stands and puts on his usual air of authority, arms crossed, eyes hard set on you as if you're the one who's done something wrong. "I came to check on you and you were gone. So I waited."
"I went out with Tish. I didn't know I needed to update you on my personal life." You roll your eyes and go to your dresser to find a pair of pajamas. "That doesn't explain why you were waiting on my bed asleep. Why not just wait in your own room?"
Shawn doesn't say anything and heads for the door. You stop him, hand on his arm and he looks down at you. "What?"
"You didn't answer my question."
"Yes I did. I said I was waiting. I guess I fell asleep."
"But why in my room?"
"Because you would come in here."
"Do you wait for me often?"
Shawn looks away and you raise your eyebrows. That's new. He never turns away, never shows fault to anyone.
"Shawn. Do you come into my room a lot?"
"I'm just protecting you."
You narrow your eyes. "What? Protecting me from what? That's not an answer to my question."
He steps toward the door and crosses his arms, avoiding eye contact. It's not unlike him to be so defensive, but to be silent is unlike him. He's always the one to drive an argument or command attention in a conversation. It's as if he feels guilty now, as if he's been caught doing something he shouldn't be. "Please don't be angry with me."
His words sideline you for a moment. You're pretty sure you've never heard the word please come out of his mouth. "How can I be angry when I don't even know what you're talking about?" You duck into his field of vision and he looks the other way. "Why are you being weird?"
"I'm not being weird."
"Then stop talking in riddles and answer my questions. Why are you in my room now? Have you been coming in here when I'm gone? And what are you protecting me from?"
Shawn shakes his head. "I just...sometimes I just come and sit in here, okay? I don't touch anything I promise."
"I mean it's not okay because this is my private space and-"
"I don't want you to leave."
You fall silent, staring at the alpha before you. Leave? Why would you leave? This makes even less sense than before. "Shawn. I don't understand anything you're saying to me. I'm very confused."
Shawn takes a deep breath and leans against your desk, hands gripping the edges. "I like you."
"Okay." Your stomach flips in excitement. You feel like such a teenager getting attention from her crush for the first time.  
"I really, really like you a lot." His eyes find yours and you can't breathe. "Your scent calms me down when I get irritated or uh, anxious, but anyway, I come and sit down on your bed. I know I shouldn't do that and that this is your space. I'm sorry."
"Oh."
"And...I guess I also come in here so my scent is on your stuff because I don't want you to...to find someone else and leave the pack."
"You know you can just ask me out right?" You mumble and he flushes. "You don't have to cockblock me all the damn time if you just want to go out with me."
Shawn pushes off the desk and stands in front of you, cheeks red and you can't help but feel a sense of pride knowing you caused it. You made the big scary alpha blush and say please and sorry. Such power you weild in this moment. "You won't say no?"
"Why would I, Shawn? Not sure if you've noticed but I really like you too."
"Oh." He rubs his neck. "You do?"
"Yeah, you're a little hard to read so I didn't know you liked me back. I've been trying to get a date for weeks and I haven't been able to because you've been keeping everyone away."
He smiles sheepishly. "Oops?"
"I guess I've been looking for a date in all the wrong places."
"Yeah." He bumps your fingers with his and you let him curl his around yours. "You really like me? You're not just saying that?"
"Yes I really do like you. It's like this pull that I have whenever you're around. Even when you irritate me and boss me around a bit on runs, I still just want you."
Shawn grins, his prominent fang teeth showing and you take a deep breath. "I thought it was just me. I feel that too, the pull to be closer to you."
"Maybe we should stop fighting it?"
"Definitely."
You wrap your arms around him and he squeezes you tight, falling over onto your bed. "Great, now I'm really gonna stink like you."
"Mmm, gonna taste like me too." He says and brushes his lip against your lips, sending your pulse through the roof. "Can I?"
"Yes."
With that he presses a kiss to your lips and you automatically open up to let him in. It's all it takes to seal the deal for you. You don't care if you smell like him, taste like him, or hear nothing again but his voice. You're sold, signed and sealed on this deal. You’re definitely mated.
End
---------------------------
Thank you for reading :) Please reblog if you enjoyed. - A
*****Note: none of my works should be posted anywhere outside of my linked accounts. I do not give permission to repost with or without credit to my accounts. Please notify me of any reposted fics.*****
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talldecafcappuccino · 3 years
Text
@pwfishing said something about Ted’s contract and then this happened (read on ao3)
meet me in the middle
“Knock knock.”
Rebecca looks up to see Ted standing at the entrance of her office, hand raised against the doorframe.
“Is now still good?”
“Of course,” She gestures to the chair across from her. “Take a seat.”
While Ted gets situated, she pulls out a folder with small brightly colored flags sticking out along one side.
“Now, Coach Lasso,” she starts, opening the front flap. “You signed a two-year contract with the club, with you and Beard coming in mid-season.”
“Yes, ma’am. I remember.”
“And now that you and the team have finished your second season together, it’s time to begin talks for contract renewal,” she flips through the papers looking for the terms section.
“Great. Where do I sign.”
She pauses mid-flip. “You can’t just sign the same contract.”
“Why not?”
“It’s not how it’s done,” she says pointedly, as if he hasn’t already done this a million times in his career.
“Well, I trust my original contract was perfectly fair, Boss. So if it’s all the same to you,” Ted reaches for her pen cup.
She sighs. This is not how she planned for this conversation to go, but perhaps she shouldn’t be surprised.
“Can you at least try to work with me here? Let’s start with base salary. Give me a number.” She gives him her best, serious-business stare, but he's distracted, picking through the cup for his favorite pen. The one with a small greyhound floating through the liquid-filled chamber.
“Four.”
“Something a bit higher, please.”
“Look, I’m happy with the contract I signed,” he gives a little ‘a-ha’ when he finds the pen, twisting it open. “If it’s not broken, don’t fix it. That’s my motto”
“Coach Lasso. The team’s been promoted. It would be irresponsible of me to not reward that with some sort of raise.”
He smiles a little at that and she thinks about what she just said. Her cheeks are suddenly quite warm, but she will not be distracted.
“Let me show you something.” She turns the folder toward him and points to a line halfway down the page. “This is your current salary.”
Ted leans over, reads the paper and nods his head. So far so good.
“And this,” she pulls out a piece of paper from a second folder. “This is where the rest of the premier league managers sit.”
She waits for his eyes to bug out. Some of the numbers are admittedly exorbitant, but she’s trying to make a point.
However Ted just nods again and sits back in his chair, smiling.
“And is that what you were planning to give me?”
“Well yes, I was trying to,” she considers him for a moment. “I must say, this is an effective strategy for getting me to show my cards. Now can we move on to the rest of the terms?”
But Ted isn’t finished.
“Boss, do you know how much a mid-level, college American football coach makes?” he asks, shaking his head and smiling. “Trust me, being here is a promotion and a raise all in one. I’m very happy with my current salary.”
Rebecca can’t believe she’s having this conversation. It’s one of the more surreal moments in her career.
“Ted. Why are you trying to talk me out of paying you more? Paying what you deserve?” The words come out harsher than she means them. “This is standard business and, frankly, you are leaving money on the table.”
“How about this,” he puts one elbow on her desk and leans forward to tap the contract with the tip of his pen. “Why don’t you add a line item for one new pair of sneakers a season and a post-game beer with the boss after every home match.”
She sighs. “I’m being serious.”
“So am I.”
“The club brought in more money this season than the last two combined.” She believed in Ted and the team, but even she was blown away by the end-of-season windfall. Ted attributed it to the addition of hot dogs to the stadium menu.
“Well people do love a Cinderella story.”
“Yes, but at the end Cinderella gets to be very, very wealthy. At least take the car service?”
“Hm, that’s not really my style. But the glass slipper. . .” He taps the paper until Rebecca begrudgingly writes, one new pair of sneakers per a season.
They go back and forth another ten minutes before Rebecca decides she’s entertained Ted long enough.
“I’m exhausted,” she sighs, picking up her pen. “I’m giving you the £5 million.” She goes to write in the number when Ted’s hand stops hers. It’s embarrassing how hard it is to focus with the warmth and weight of his palm against her skin.
“Look, I appreciate what you’re trying to do. And I get it, really. But I have an idea.”
Rebecca considers the man sitting across from her, eyes earnest, asking her to trust him. He hasn’t led her astray yet.
“I’m listening . . .”
In the end, he agrees to a 1% raise, a fraction of what she originally proposed. Which is how the team and staff ends up with a surprise end of season bonus and 0.01% shares in the club. The shares are more symbolic than anything.
What’s left will go back into operations, new weights in the locker room, and extra sessions with the PT. They’ll get a new TV for the bus and a slush fund for team birthdays.
She has to admit it’s a good compromise. Even if it leaves Ted woefully undervalued.
”Are we done here?” Rebecca asks, considering the page of handwritten terms.
“Yeah, Boss. I think so.”
Rebecca sinks into her chair, blows a piece of loose hair away from her face. She raises her brows at Ted who is looking very pleased with himself.
“Dear, you could have warned me you weren’t planning on negotiating.”
“Sorry Sweetheart, I think it’s important we maintain personal and professional boundaries.”
She hums, acknowledging her own words being used against her.
“Besides, that was kind of fun, wasn’t it?” His voice is low and gravely, a little dangerous.
She swivels in her chair, fighting a smile.
“I’m not sure you fully understand the point of those boundaries.”
He laughs and Rebecca's heart clenches with fondness.
He stands up, stuffing his hands in his pockets.
“Well I guess I’ll see you at home. I gotta last-minute strategy meeting with Beard and Nate.”
“Sounds good.”
He looks at her like the cat who caught the canary.
“You gonna watch me walk away?”
She sighs, but nods her head.
“Yes, Ted. Yes I am.”
He grins and taps her desk before turning to leave with a wink. “I’ll add a little jaunt to it for ya.”
He was incorrigible, but she wouldn’t have it any other way.
A few moments later her phone rings. It’s Ted.
“Hey, Sweetheart, guess what?
“What?”
“I got a raise today. Boss was a real tough cookie, but I think I held my own.”
She rolls her eyes, chuckling softly.
“Congratulations. We should celebrate.”
“Order in?”
She can already see them sitting on the couch with a shared blanket, surrounded by takeaway containers as he recounts their conversation play-by-play until she finds an effective way of keeping him quiet.
“Sounds like a deal.”
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illfoandillfie · 3 years
Note
ok sorry but how many people do yall think rog has ever slept with cos i’m guessing four figures no lie
okay, i don’t normally respond to messages like this because, frankly, i dont really feel like its my place to speculate on roger’s sex life. Theres a difference between writing a fiction story with a character named after and inspired by him and discussing his actual personal life which i have no real knowledge about. What he gets up to in his free time is between him and the women he does it with. but i didn’t really feel able to ignore this one. please don’t take this as me telling you off or shutting you down or anything like that. If you want to speculate about roger’s body count thats up to you, go nuts with it. and i love when you guys message me and I don’t want to discourage you from feeling like you can talk to me or just send me your random thoughts or whatever about any subject. But I feel like I need to address why I disagree with this sentiment. Also so I can ask ya’ll to please stop asking me questions like this. 
So firstly, just to get this out of the way. 1000 is a lot. even 100 is a lot. I think if rog had slept with 1000+ people he’d have a least a few illegitimate kids and probably would have been checked into rehab for sex addiction (not to mention STIs and such because lbr people in the 70s specifically probs werent the most careful especially if drugs were involved). I mean even if we were going to say Rog got lucky with a different woman after every show we wouldn’t reach 1000. According to google, Queen played around 700 shows in their entire career. If we add shows played by The Cross thats only another 67 odd shows (according to wikipedia). 
now, i think there are 3 things that contribute to this idea of roger as especially promiscuous. 1. His attitude/demeanour/general way he sells himself. 2. the generally held conceptions about rock stars and rock star behaviour. and 3. what i’m going to call fandom dumbassery (but i mean that with a lot of love) 
So lets start with the man himself. Roger Taylor is loud and opinionated and not particularly humble. He knows he’s talented and attractive though for at least some time he was a little self-conscious about how feminine he looked. He’s always up for a laugh, likes to party and has admitted to enjoying his drink and his women. He’s had kids with two different women, who’s relationships “overlapped”, and is currently married to a third. At least that’s the perception we can gleam from his interviews, behind the scenes videos, and other public appearances. 
It’s easy to see how that image leads to accusations of being a womaniser and a cheater and basically a bit of a slut lmao. But here’s the thing. I think Roger, in part, markets himself that way. The thing is, if you look at his solo songs and the relationships he currently has with his kids and their mothers, and things other people have said about him/his relationships over the years, I think it’s fair to say he also has a bit of a romantic streak maybe? idk if thats the best way of describing it...he’s self confessed to not being a fan of marriage and the like but he’s not opposed to writing and singing love songs and seems to believe in ~love~ as a concept/power. He certainly cares deeply for those closest to him. Whether or not that translates to an agreement with monogamy I can’t say for certain. It’s hard to draw conclusions here because a lot of what we know of his personal life was fed to us through magazines and news paper gossip column articles and they were never looking for the truth, they were looking for scandal and sensationalism. 
For instance the whole thing with the overlapping relationships. I think most people who have read anything about roger and dom and debbie realise that it’s not as cut and dry as “he was cheating with debbie and left dom for her” even though that was the story being sold by the press at the time. The reality (or at least the version closer to reality since obviously no one outside of them and whoever they were closest with knows all the nitty gritty details) is that rog and dom had already split when they got married. it was a marriage of convenience to make sure her and the kids would be looked after financially etc even after he’d moved out. So while it looked to the public like he married one chick and 30 odd days later was spotted with another, there really wasn’t anything untoward happening.  I’m not saying he never had casual hookups or one night stands and i’m not saying he never cheated, but I do think some of it’s been exaggerated, whether by him to encourage the rock star perception or by newspaper/magazine articles.
Now, obviously, we have stories of rog, particularly in the late 60s and into the 70s, being with multiple women. There’s that bit in the Interview with a Queen “Groupie” (which is a fantastic read and i defs recommend checking it out if you havent already) where she talks about roger being a chick magnet and says that, at the time, it was pretty common to sleep about. But, she also says she didnt notice him doing it more or less than anyone else and seemed to mostly be with Jo (his girlfriend at the time). This is the same Jo that got a mention in the Queen in 3D book (”i think we all had the feeling that these two were together for life, but it was not to be”). Conversely, we have that quote (which i cannot find rn but i’ll link it when i do) about roger sometimes having one girl upstairs while another waited in the garage for them to be finished. I think it was about Rog in the mid-late 60s in Truro but whatever. Obviously he wasn’t anywhere near celibate and it’s likely was sleeping with people outside of his relationship(s). But one has to assume that as he got older those kinds of antics stopped happening, at least as frequently.
There is one potential story that I remember reading somewhere along the way about Roger cheating on Debbie while she was pregnant. But, take that with a grain of salt because I can’t find the article again and also I think it was from like The Sun or something equally as rubbish. The press was notoriously always printing mean shit about the boys and that might have been another thing they published to create scandal. Even so, if we assume it’s legit that is still only 1 story. Not to throw him under the bus but Brian is the one with multiple confirmed affairs, who literally wrote songs about it all. So why is Roger the one with sleazy reputation? 
This is where my second and third points come in. There is a pervasive idea about what it means to be a rock star. The whole trashing hotel rooms, sleeping with groupies, passing out drunk every night thing. And I’m sure that Queen was like that to an extent. I think it’s pretty common knowledge that all of them got up to shit on the road. Between innuendo laden interviews and songs, videos and accounts of their parties, stories CT has put online, and other stories like the one of Roger bringing out lines of coke as dessert when he was having dinner with motley crue. They definitely embraced the rock and roll lifestyle. And I think with Roger’s personality being what it is, it’s easy to link him to those traditional rock star tropes and say it was all true all the time. I also think Roger has done nothing to counter those beliefs. He’s been open about how he wanted to be a rock star since the minute he picked up a guitar, he’s labelled himself as a great lay in magazines, he’s joked about girls pulling their tits out over dinner in interviews (though he said he didnt take her home), he’s written songs like One Night Stand and Dirty Mind and Airheads which explicitly mention his preference for women and alcohol. I think it’s fair to say he’s kind of encouraged that view of himself. Whether it was just a side effect of being part of such a well known band and having such a boisterous demeanour/personality, or whether it was intentional as a version of promotion i don’t know. maybe a mix of them? I mean I’m sure it didn’t hurt sales and stuff. it’s the whole guys want to be him, girls want to be with him thing, right? Maybe that’s just me being cynical though lmao. 
Anyway, the fandom brain has taken all of that and compressed it into memes and jokes about rog being the band slut. Which i’m not complaining about, lord knows i’ve made the same jokes and reblogged the same posts and used those tropes in my fics. They’re funny and lend themselves to interesting fic concepts. Plus, i think roger is the sort of person who would probably laugh about most of it. But it’s an idea that keeps feeding into itself through fandom, perpetuating what is probably a misguided view of his personal life.
Again, I am sure he’s had his fair share of fun and I’m not trying to make out that he was always perfect or whatever, but I don’t think he’s been with as many women as the popular discourse would imply and I certainly don’t think he’s in the 4 digit numbers. 
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radramblog · 3 years
Text
Radiohead Retrospective Part 4: We’ve got heads on sticks
Your name is Thom Yorke. You’ve just released what is considered one of the best albums of the 90s, if not of all time, and you’ve achieved a level of fame that at least one band member considers akin to the Beatles. Through the release of OK Computer, you’ve proven that even if people are pretty much over Oasis at this point, British rock bands still rule the airwaves. You’re also stressed the fuck out over just about all of this, and having a very hard time accustoming to the life of a celebrity- let alone the usual mental health issues.
What will you do?
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Apparently, the answer was to write the fourth album to be as far away from the previous few as possible, seeking influence from IDM groups like Aphex Twin, jazz stuff, and just some bizarro instruments and experimentation and leaving a lot of the “rock” stuff behind. The primary genre listed for Kid A is usually Electronica or Ambient, with various off-kilter rock subgenres lagging behind, crying “you’re still gonna do guitars and stuff, right?”
Well…not as much anymore. But this era of Radiohead, this career-suicidal swerve, still proved monumentally successful, and showed that the band still had it, and that sometimes artistic risks do pay dividends.
A side note: I usually link music videos for the tracks I discuss as part of each post, as you’ll have seen in previous parts of this series. Kid A, however, doesn’t have any singles, and it sure doesn’t have any music videos. So…maybe just listen yourself. I’m probably in over my head here anyway.
I think the first 5 notes of Everything In Its Right Place are some of the most iconic in all of music.
Some personal background- Kid A was the first Radiohead I ever listened to. A particular cool and good mate of mine was a fan in high school, but I’d never listened to them at all, and I trusted his opinion musically, so I went to buy one of their CDs the next time I was at the shop. And for whatever reason, the cheapest one was Kid A at 10 bucks, and I didn’t want to gamble more than that, so that’s the one I got.
So the opening notes of Everything In Its Right Place were the first Radiohead I ever heard. And considering how much I obsessed over this band, in high school and beyond, it’s no surprise that this song is one of my favourites.
Not only did this song introduce me to Radiohead, it was effectively a gateway track for electronic music in general. This was the early 10s, and the majority of what I knew as electronic stuff was the EDM that was drowning the airwaves at the time. I hated that stuff out of principle, because being a hipster like that was definitely a personality. I don’t think I would ever have gotten into Vaporwave, into IDM, or into any electronic music the way I eventually would were it not for Everything In Its Right Place.
Now that I’ve spent 250 words talking about myself and not the actual song, we should probably stop that. Everything In Its Right Place is defined by this steady build of layering vocals and effects onto the relatively calm synth line, distorted vocals and word salad lyrics and manipulated noises growing and getting more chaotic before it just stops- the vocals fade out, the effects drop, and you’re left with the synth line- except it’s been slowly changing itself the whole time, and you don’t realise because you’ve been distracted by everything else at the same time.
It’s worth noting (and I don’t know if this was the case with OK Computer, because I don’t have an original copy of that one) that this was an album without liner notes, without the lyrics in the cover booklet. But at least in this case, the lyrics don’t matter as much as the v i b e. At least, that’s what I think.
On the topic of unintelligible lyrics, Kid A has a title track! I believe literally two Radiohead albums do this, the other being The Bends (though Hail to the Thief and In Rainbows do appear as lyrics). The song itself is an ambient, quiet piece that feels something like a twisted nursery tune- incredibly affected vocals, a syncopated (?) percussion, and a synth (I think???) that…I don’t know how to describe it, but it feels nursery-rhyme-y. If you’ve heard this song a few times, or you know what to listen for, you can piece together the lyrics somewhat- and they are, frankly, kind of unsettling. What is standing in the shadows at the end of your bed, can it please leave? And imagery of the Pied Piper is always either extremely silly or extremely unnerving, with this clearly leaning towards the latter. There’s a lot going on here- especially for a track most probably wouldn’t listen to outside the context of the full album. I know I generally don’t- not the kind of thing I generally am in the mood for.
 We’re at 850+ words, and we’re only up to The National Anthem? Fuuuuck. Well, anyone who wasn’t on board the IDM train can at least appreciate this one more, it’s got an actual bassline. A killer one, at that, that drives the whole track. Well, you know, that and the B R A S S. Seriously, it sounds like they invited a marching band to this bad boy. The combination ends up sounding mostly like controlled chaos, a jazz band traffic jam wound together by that B A S S. But the bass can’t hold it forever, and eventually that shit breaks free and just, it just honks all over the place.
I’m frustratingly running out of things to say about this song I really like, as opposed to the other songs I really liked. Unfortunately, ya boi forgot to take his neurotypicalification pills today, and so I’m getting very distracted. Hopefully, that slightly unhinged nature suits the album somewhat.
The next song, How To Disappear Completely, is a Big Mood with a fun story attached. The main lyrics- I’m not here, this isn’t happening- were allegedly something none other than Michael Stipe from R.E.M. told Thom to help him deal with that massive stage fright that came with Getting Big. Fun trivia aside, this song is gorgeous, luscious with massive strings, an acoustic bend, aethereal vocals, and a background drone running through the thing that makes sure your hair is always a little on end through the thing. It’s a song whose lyrics are an attempt to escape anxiety, whose instrumentation serves more to reinforce it- a calm, melodic piece that builds into nervous swells and threatening strings. A song about fighting your fear, and losing.
Fuck me it’s a bit depressing isn’t it. It’s potentially the most emotionally revealing song the album has- a lot of the lyricism on other tracks is more metaphorical, or subtle, but the meaning in How To Disappear Completely is evident even just from the title. You get lost in the strings and they go from calming, to imposing, to downright menacing (and then back again) in the song’s final minute.
Treefingers, on the other hand, has a lot less to say, and by that I mean it’s an instrumental. A very atmospheric, ambient one, and thereby one I don’t have a lot to say about. I’m not sure I’m particularly good at commenting on regular music, but this kinda thing is a whole different animal. I have no idea how to interact with discussing this. I like it? I will say, that one note right at the end, that echoes for a bit, the one piece of clarity in this muddled, reverbed sphere, feels especially poignant, for reasons I cannot describe.
We go from ambient instrumental to arguable the most rock-song-like track on this album, Optimistic, certified banger that it is. Some might argue that it doesn’t fit here, but like, did they even hear the lyrics? The bridge? It more that deserves its place on one of the best albums around. The little way the guitar scales up during the chorus is excellent, the proggy drums and riffs are glorious, it’s just a very good rock song.
Also this is the first song with the lyric “dinosaurs roaming the earth”, which, aside from being a bit of a non-sequitur, would return two albums later. And I’m really looking forward to that one.
In Limbo is a song I kind of always forget exists until I hear it again. It’s antimemetic, the way the song goes slipping from my mind until I hear those opening notes again. I’m going to be honest, it’s probably because it’s also the most mid song on the album. Far from bad, but it isn’t doing anything that How to Disappear Completely or Optimistic aren’t doing better. If I had to remove any track from this album, it might be this one?
Watch me get fucking lynched from the fandom for that one, if I ever post this to r/Radiohead or whatever. Which I might, though as much as I’d like more people to read my things I’m also extremely anxious about the potential response. Like the album I’m discussing today, I’m terrified of fame.
Incidentally, In Limbo is also the shortest track on the album (Treefingers beats it by 11 seconds), though this isn’t initially obvious online at least, because people keep messing with Motion Picture Soundtrack. But we’re not there yet, hang on.
We go from the forgettable (to me) In Limbo to the utterly mesmerizing Idioteque. Anxious but danceable, confusing but emotive, messy but tightly controlled. I love this fucking song to death. The reason I got the particular Radiohead poster that I did was because it has lyrics from this on it.
I’ve heard that lyrics for this album were largely pulled from a hat, and nowhere is that more clear than here (or maybe Everything In Its Right Place). Despite this, there’s a pretty clear theme in them, a continuation of some of the themes of this and the last albums. A condemnation of wealth and cowardice in the face of ecological disaster. In the form of an apocalypse disco.
What a lot of people don’t know about this track is that it actually samples an extremely old electronic music piece- one written in 1973, on a particularly old computer. The track, mild und leise, is a very interesting track considering its age- I’m reminded of Selected Ambient Works by Aphex Twin- not so much musically, but about how that reason was as influential as it was because it was the first time songs had sounded like that, because it was the first time songs could sound like that- I suppose it’s somewhat similar in that way, if older. These pieces and their composers inexorably linked by the allure of technology, and how that could be used to define new eras in music history- in Radiohead’s case, it certainly defined the next few albums in their lifespan.
Jesus mild und leise is long, it’s still going as I write this. I need to get back to Kid A, man!
Idioteque leads directly into Morning Bell, admittedly another less memorable song. Largely percussion lead, plenty of falsetto, and with a very unsubtle theme if you listen to the lyrics. I recall seeing someone saying that “cut the kids in half” was a really surprising and spooky line, and, yeah, sure, it sort of is, but it’s only particularly bad if you don’t pay attention for the rest of it. It’s about divorce, dude, it’s not subtle.
Or apparently not, according to one interview, but Thom said the interpretation isn’t invalid, so haha still winning baybeeeee.
I think the only part of this I really can’t do without is the outro, because the last minute and a half of this song is really cool. The mumbled lyrics go really well with the rising percussion and eerie effects that end the track.
Our final song is Motion Picture Soundtrack, or, Exit Music (for Walt Disney’s Depression Nap). This and Street Spirit I think are what really cement Radiohead’s reputation for brutal closers, both of them being tragic but hauntingly beautiful in different ways. In this case, it’s the instrumentation- glittering harps attempting the echo 50s Disney. There’s actually a version of this song from the OK Computer era with extremely different instrumentation, piano rather than organ, and no harps (and a third verse that is utterly brutal). Regardless, this is the song they chose to close the apocalypse that Kid A is on- the final lyric being “I will see you in the next life”, as the glittering echoes into the night. Poignant and tragic, but a little hopeful- the next life hopefully won’t have the struggles and pain of this one.
And then, of course, there’s the hidden track. Nicknamed Genchildren by some (that’s just the username of the dude who uploaded it to Napster back in the day), officially known as Untitled, and the true closer to the album. With Spotify slapping it right at the end of Motion Picture Soundtrack, it’s not clear the true nature of this song- it’s actually hidden on the original album, after several minutes of silence, just long enough that you’ve forgotten you left the player running (or you’re still crying from Motion Picture Soundtrack). I don’t think there’s a real word for what this sounds like other than heavenly, and incredibly brief piece I’ve heard compared to the pearly gates. After all, if we end on “I will see you in the next life”, then what can this be but that?
 Thus closes Kid A, a gorgeous and powerful album, yet an insane swerve for any rock band to pull, not just Radiohead. A bold strategy, and yet it paid off for them- Kid A would not only be massively influential, it was also massively successful both critically and commercially- but not to the standard of OK Computer before it. But they obviously weren’t trying to do OK Computer part 2, just as that album was deliberately not The Bends part 2.
Kid A would pretty much get a Part 2, though, less than a year later. And it’s that album we’ll be discussing next week, obviously. Until then.
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danwhobrowses · 3 years
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One Piece 1000 - 10 Confessions as a One Piece Fan
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Although we did the Initial Thoughts a week ago (a long week ago, damn) which you can read here I wanted to do something for the official release of One Piece’s 1000th Chapter At first it started out to be ‘10 things I wanna ask Oda that I don’t think we’ll ever know’ but I couldn’t think of 10, then I was gonna do a General opinion post about it, but didn’t want it to come off too negative. So I am settling on a confessions post, which will have elements of these anyway.
So as we have a happy 1000, let’s talk about some stuff I usually don’t get to talk about in One Piece
Note: There will probably be spoilers so make sure you’re up to date
10. Late Beginnings I think the first confession I have to have is that despite being older than One Piece I am unfortunately not a ‘Day One’ fan. In fact I think I mainly got into One Piece around mid-Whole Cake Island arc, before I had of course known about One Piece, it was a ‘Big Three’ anime after all but the most I knew about it was that they had a guy named Luff-y and another called Zorro, and it was about ‘Pirates who can’t swim’. My curiosity only developed when in a youtube deep-dive of anime clips I kept being recommended One Piece clips, and decided to give a couple a go. Most of them were Paradise arc stuff from the anime, the dub voices were mostly atrocious so I stuck to sub. I was happily surprised about the amount of fun and emotional weight these clips gave me, which led me to check where One Piece was as of current and backtrack from there (Ironically I did the same with Beastars). I did eventually get caught up around the time of the Mafia Meeting and I’ve kept up with each chapter since.
9. I mostly still prefer the Pre-Timeskip looks When I first felt this I thought it to be pretty controversial, nowadays not so much. I understand that Oda wanted to change the look for many characters but some of them did feel like a downgrade. I think the ones who got it worst was Franky, I think it’s the bulbous shoulders, Franky was no stranger to body horror from Enies Lobby to Sabaody but I kinda preferred that he still had a lot of his humanity rather than looking like an action figure. Otherwise I think Robin, Nami and Chopper had it bad, maybe Brook too but his was more fashion than design; the women in general took heavy hits by Oda’s proportion design - I mean I get it boobs are nice but proportions are what make them better - but Robin also underwent a skin color change in the anime, who pre-timeskip shaded her skin darker than in the manga and corrected it to match the manga, I think most of us would’ve preferred Robin to have kept the darker skin tone and possibly even the fringe, Robin’s hairstyle (and her fashion in general) can be hit and miss. I go to and fro about Nami, other than the general waist and bust adjustments I think it fits her character to use her sexuality a bit, she was no stranger to that pre-Timeskip, sometimes though I can’t tell whether I preferred her with short or long hair (Short was definitely better on Nojiko), I do think though that Oda could have her show less skin, she is still very pretty in outfits such as Water 7, Thriller Bark and even her fake pirate disguise in the early chapters/episodes. Finally with Chopper I think it was a bad move to alter the hat, that was a memento from his father figure Hiriluk, it’d be like if Luffy altered his straw hat or Zoro replacing Wado Ichimonji, I do also feel that the design for Chopper’s points while easier to draw don’t look as good, I think a lot of it is the scruff, or lack thereof in favour of smoothness, Walk Point is fine but Heavy Point, Guard Point and Horn Point seem less threatening, Monster Point especially too, in Enies Lobby he looked like a cave painting of menace and destruction, now he’s smoother and his scruff lighter so it’s not as good. The rest of the designs I’m quite fine with though.
8. I wish some markings stuck as well Tattoos and Scars seem to be optional in the One Piece world sometimes, unless it’s branded in molten heat like the Dragon’s hoof, Sun Pirates logo or an attack from Sakazuki. While Nami’s redesigned tattoo has stuck around and Luffy and Zoro’s scars persist, they are mainly character reminders/mysteries for huge moments in the story, and I kinda wish that some of the Straw Hats had littler markings, not just scars either. For instance, the Alabasta X on the arm, I really wish that stayed on each of the Alabasta characters’ arms since it was a symbol of friendship with Vivi, I also wish that Luffy kept the 3D2Y mark on his arm. In terms of scars though it would’ve been nice to see the characters a bit more battle-worn; Zoro’s ankle scars from Mr. 3 have faded and frankly he should be covered in little and long scratches given his fights with Mr. 1 and 2 years of Mihawk Training, Nami’s shoulder scar is hidden completely by her tattoo and she has no scars on her hand (from fake stabbing Usopp) or foot (from blocking Miss Doublefinger), Usopp himself could’ve used some small scratches because lord knows how there’s even still bones in his nose plus he was in murder island for 2 years, Chopper could at least have a small bald patch from when his shoulder was impaled and burned by Shura’s fire lance too, other than that there’s just Jimbei’s potentially missing shoulder scar from Marineford, though Oda has kept it obscured a lot so maybe that is still there. I understand why Oda doesn’t or forgets to, but it would’ve been nice if we lived in a vacuum of no time limits and whatnot.
7. Dead End Adventure is my favourite One Piece film I don’t know what it is, but Dead End Adventure just gives me the most fun out of the One Piece films. It has a good side plot and the side character Shuraiya was a blast of a character. Granted, Gaspard wasn’t too good of a villain side for actually harming the straw hat and his defeat was a bit underwhelming but the race, the settings it was all fun. It is not to say I don’t enjoy any other One Piece movies, I delight in the horror fuel of Baron Omatsuri - and that killer final punch - and Z’s tragic tale of a fallen marine, Strong World has that epic entrance to the party and Stampede also had some great team up moments and fantastic writing for Usopp and Smoker but Dead End Adventure always feels like the movie I could watch in any mood.
6. Skypeia and Fishman Island are some of my favourite arcs While I can understand the criticism of the Long Ring Long Land arc (especially since the anime dragged out the Davy Back Fight) it surprised me that people found Skypeia and Fishman Island arcs to be boring or less entertaining than previous arcs. Everyone has their preferences of course but I felt that Skypeia and Fishman Island were very powerful arcs especially with the theme of racism. Both had glorious setting design different to the common customs of the world we had seen, Oda made both Skypeia and Fishman Island feel very much lived in with its own budding culture and prejudices, with a villain who was dead set on destroying everything just to have their way. With Enel and his priests we were able to push several characters to newer limits, with Robin showing her fighting capabilities, Zoro learning his projectile slashes, Chopper having to endure fighting 3 priests and even Usopp growing all the more braver in the face of seemingly indestructible opponents and later gaining access to the dials. With Fishman Island it was different because it was basically a ‘flex arc’: where the main villain is meant to be a stepping stone rather than a threat but even then the symbolism of the enemy is what’s significant with them, the inherited hatred of humans. But at the same time we do learn new strengths from the crew; Red Hawk, the use of armament Haki, Skywalk, Hell Memories, Franky Shogun, Usopp’s pop greens, Nami’s weather eggs, Brook’s Soul Solid and his new DF power (which is possibly an awakening), as well as the first true steps of Jimbei joining the crew. The biggest strength of both arcs is the flashback as well, like Wano would in present time both arcs demonstrated that Oda can carry a story without his main characters and still keep it as captivating as ever, be it the friendship of Noland and Calgara, the tragedies of Otohime and Fisher Tiger or the life of Kozuki Oden and the man who would be Pirate King. And the impact of Fishman Island and Skypeia’s flashbacks both come back around in Dressrosa with the dwarves and Koala, and Fishman Island really does kick off the whole Yonko saga with Luffy challenging Big Mom, these arcs were definitely significant as they were entertaining with silly faces, strong fights, challenging themes, lorebuilding, good side characters and unique twists. And the overall message of healing from the past is still significant to this day. Through Wyper’s sacrifice and the Bell ringing to Jimbei giving blood and the Ryugu royals wanting to attend the Reverie, it is all very powerful stuff and while the arcs are similar in nature its their similarities that make me love them. Also the cover stories with Enel and Gedatsu on their own mini adventures are fun
5. I really want to know where Ghin is Ghin/Gin was such an interesting character in Baratie. Given that this was right before Arlong Park too so we had not seen a character conflict with different loyalties in One Piece until then, his gratitude to Sanji against his loyalty to Krieg created a fantastically complex character, but then he left and we didn’t hear about him ever since. Did he survive Krieg’s poison gas? Is he still with Krieg? One reactor of the episode said “maybe he’ll become the next Don” which was a concept I kinda really liked. The guy was pretty strong given that he had bested Sanji at that time, and since he didn’t appear in a cover story my mind does wonder. It’s not just Ghin either, a lot of the early East Blue characters kinda fell off the map; where is Morgan? Last we saw he was sleeping as he sailed past Jango, where is Kuro? For someone wanting to resume piracy after some years off he has been very quiet, where is Krieg? Only Arlong and Morgan were arrested and the latter escaped so the rest of these characters are a mystery. Recently in Wano I am still wondering where Law’s crew that he brought to Onigashima went, as well as Caribou - where is that slippery bugger?
4. Basil Hawkins is probably one of my Top 5 Supernova There’s something about that dude I gravitate towards, which makes it quite frustrating when the anime decides to add extra malice and creepy faces to him. Hawkins in Wano is still a victim, if anything he is simply a prisoner with better working conditions, if he thought he could survive escaping Kaido he would but he doesn’t so he won’t, he’s also gonna feel sore about Drake betraying him and letting Law cut him up, so it annoys me that Hawkins is seen like a villain. Not only does he have an extremely interesting Devil Fruit and creativity with it but he’s also audaciously confident in his fortunetelling, even Luffy ran from Kizaru at Sabaody while Hawkins looked at his cards while Kizaru was about to boot him to holy hell and said ‘nah I’m not dying today’, you gotta respect that moxie. At the same time though as a pirate he has that shades of grey element, he’s okay with letting some of his crew be disposable and we don’t even know to what end, he doesn’t look like a guy too concerned about being Pirate King or having riches. I also get a good laugh in that his hobbies are interior design, it makes me really want to see what the inside of his ship looks like. I think as a top 5, I have Luffy, Zoro, Law, Hawkins and then Kid, Bege, Killer and Bonney are not far behind with Apoo dead last because fuck Apoo. Kid and Killer are cool but I do feel like they need a bit more character, Bege earned some points in being funny and his care for his family in WCI and then there’s Bonney - I really hope we dig into Bonney’s significance, she feels really important and that mystery keeps her fresh whenever we see her. Drake too has only really started to become interesting because of SWORD, we could still see more fleshing but for now he is like bottom 3. It’s a shame Urouge has to be so low, he’s not bad but he’s not spectacular either, gotta admire his hobby of lovemaking though, you do you Urouge.
3. I don’t think that either of the ‘Most Beautiful Women in the World’ are the Most Beautiful Women in One Piece The in-world consensus seems to be that the Most Beautiful Women in the World are Boa Hancock, Komurasaki and Shirahoshi, and granted they are very pretty, but the most? Not for me. I mean, y’all know that Nico Robin, Nami and Vinsmoke Reiju exist right? Makino as well is stunning, as are Tashigi, Bonney, Margaret, Ishilly, Nojiko, Vivi, Rebecca, Pudding, Perona, Cosette and I’m sure a few others, realistically I think they could all give them a run for their money. I get how for those three their beauty is a plot point (Boa it’s drilling home Luffy’s obliviousness to it, Komurasaki it’s the swerve of her not being awful and for Shirahoshi it’s due to Vander Decken IX pulling the creep factor on her) but it would’ve worked the same way without the ‘world’ hyperbole I think. As much as Oda is iffy with proportions and rarely writes women with as much attention as the boys he sure knows how to make them attractive.
2. Some of my favourite individual Straw Hat scenes aren’t in Canon If I were to have a top 5 moments of each character, it may surprise you that some of it comes from movies or filler episodes, particularly Sanji’s flexing on Jessica in the G8 Arc (in fact, Jonathon is one of my favourite marines, T-Bone is in there too, but I don’t have room to fit that). Some are of course obvious because of how iconic they are but it does go to show that sometimes filler isn’t all bad. Since you’re probably curious: As a Group Goodbye Merry [Enies Lobby] Entering Shiki’s Palace [Strong World] Walk to Arlong Park [Arlong Park] Entering the Grand Line [Reverse Mountain] vs a Stuck Oars [Thriller Bark] Jimbei Giving Luffy Blood [FMI] Vagabond Drill on Big Mom [WCI] Leaving the Big Mom Pirates [WCI] Returning in Wano [Wano] Trying to argue with Luffy [FMI] Brook vs Chess Soldiers & Big Mom [WCI] Flashback [Thriller Bark] Breaking Mother Carmel’s Picture [WCI] Baron Corpse vs Dog Minks [Zou] Hysterically laughing at seeing Duval [Sabaody] Franky vs Senor Pink [Dressrosa] Playing with the Kids [Punk Hazard] vs Fukurou [Enies Lobby] Freedom Roller [Wano] Trapping Caribou in the Barrel [FMI] Robin  I Want to Live [Enies Lobby] Clutching Spandam [Enies Lobby] Throwing Usopp under the bus [G8] vs Yama [Skypeia] Clutching Tequila Wolf guards [Amazon Lily] Chopper Monster Point [Enies Lobby] Flashback [Drum Island] Chopper Man (& Minoru Kazeno) vs Usobada [Chopper Man Special] Don’t blow the whistle: Immediately blows whistle [Skypeia] Dr Chopper the definitely Human Doctor not wearing fake glasses [G8] Vivi w/ Karoo (she counts okay!) Goodbye speech [Alabasta] Escaping Bon Clay [Alabasta] Karoo Digging Luffy Out [Little Garden] Luffy Fan Club Meeting [Reverie] Slapping Usopp awake [Drum Island] Nami vs Kalifa [Enies Lobby] Standing by the kids [Punk Hazard] Saying goodbye to Bell-mere [Arlong Park] Helping Luffy vs Cracker via Lola’s Vivre Card [WCI] Luffy WILL be Pirate King [Wano] Sanji ‘I needed a light’ [Skypeia] Flexing on Jessica [G8] Saving the Vinsmokes [WCI] O-Soba Mask [Wano] vs Doflamingo [Dressrosa]  Usopp Alabasta speech [Alabasta] Awakening Observation Haki [Dressrosa] Sogeking Theme Song [Enies Lobby] vs Perona [Thriller Bark] Saving Luffy from the fire [Stampede]  Zoro Nothing Happened [Thriller Bark] vs Ryuma [Thriller Bark] vs Mr. 1 [Alabasta] vs Gyukimaru & Kamazo [Wano] “He’s sweeping our floors that fiend!” Test of Luck [Loguetown] Luffy ‘On the Sea, you fight Pirates’ [Wano] Red Roc [Wano] vs Katakuri [WCI] Haki clash with Doflamingo [Dressrosa] Punching Saint Charloss [Sabaody] I will have to say that for some characters I could go to 20 so if one’s missing it may’ve just missed the mark, such as Usopp and Nami vs Enel or Luffy putting back a Zombie or Stealth Luffy, I mean it is 1000 chapters as well as movies and filler episodes/specials...
1. I’ve learned quite a lot due to One Piece Since my fascination started with a deep dive of checks, I did start to learn a hell of a lot more not just about the franchise itself (you know it’s almost catching up BATMAN on total sales, which has been around more than 3 times longer?) but I also learned a lot about stuff Oda has used as a reference key; folklore, actual pirates, actual practices, the amount of detail Oda puts in is astounding. Which does lean into another thing I’ve learned, One Piece has changed the way I approach some of my ideas for writings and whatnot, before I would be afraid of either spoonfeeding or being too vague, Oda’s mastery not only in storytelling but character development, character quality and pacing has both helped and intimidated me a lot of times, I mean consider this: it took hundreds of chapters to get a proper backstory on Luffy, the main character, how unprecedented is that? Often I could fall into the trap of making sure you knew everything about the main character from day one but now I wonder about what’s necessary for the now and what can I work on. Another thing that both inspires and intimidates me is his drawing, I suck at colours and still do, and a lot of Oda’s attention to detail is incredible considering he’s gotta whip that out on the weekly, but at the same time you see some of his rough sketches and they’re pretty similar to a rough sketch of my own, so in a way it’s a ‘there’s still hope for you’ moment seeing those. I can’t say I’ve learned Japanese from listening to One Piece, but I have picked up on some stuff, some hiragana there, some phonetics here, I also appreciated some of the stuff kaizokuou-ni-naru does (I won’t tag them in case that’s a bit rude to do it out of the blue but check out their tumblr) when it came to deciphering the Japanese of chapters and the little puns and hints Oda puts in his native tongue. And of course any One Piece fan has learned one thing above all else: Patience. Oda himself included, it took over 20 years to get to 1000 chapters and we still have plenty of questions to ask, plenty of islands to see and thus plenty of chapters to go. So Straw Hats off to you Oda, and a happy 1000th!
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nighttimepixels · 4 years
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Night: Oh yeah, the lillytale ladies purr btw :) Me, absolutley ascending: ffuUck yeS.... PlEase.... My WiFe.... 🥺💖💞
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You are all so valid, oh my gods.
They absolutely all purr, and each have their ‘spots’ and circumstances, heh. Across the board they’re definitely inclined to do so when particularly sleepy, or in a particular intimate cuddly moment. Specifics though... here’s the Lilytale Purr HCs, then ✧(ô▿ô )
Serif (Lady UT Sans):
Best spot when relaxed: massage the palm of her left hand, or gently skritch/soothingly rub her occipital bone (aka, bottom/back part of skull)
Likely to purr in general when she’s drinking coffee on a rainy afternoon, sunk into a couch/soft spot and listening to music.
She blushes a little when she’s caught purring, but mostly chuckles it off and deftly changes subject if you try to point it out.
... get close enough to her though and become her nap buddy and you’ll get to hear it a lot. Softly, quietly, as you drift off. It’s a really soothing sound, actually.
Vellum (Lady UT Pap):
Best spot when relaxed: trace her collarbone or gently run your hand over the top her skull~
Likely to purr in general when she catches you doing something particularly cute and/or making her proud in a casual sort of way! EG, maybe trying to solve some of her handcrafted puzzles so you can engage with her more on it, or maybe she sees you working on your own passions~
... also purrs a little if you praise her when she’s in a rare sleepy state. It’s very hard to catch her in these, but oh man, is it worth it. She turns extra cuddly - good luck escaping her arms - but she flushes with magic and can’t help but purr if you genuinely praise her. Just prepare for the praise to be turned back on you in an exceedingly honest and spot-on sort of way :D
Sapphire (Lady US Sans):
Best spot when relaxed: trace along/gently massage her upper spine, or skritch at the difficult-to-reach-spots where her spine and ribs meet (but not the inner part, the exposed outer part, oh geez)
Likely to purr in general when you get the hiccups (they’re illegally cute, and you getting frustrated over them even more so), and when comes up to hug you in public if you’re close - because only you can hear her and she knows what it does to you ;D
Also a big-time aftercare purring type. Also also, sort of... panic purrs if you’re sick? It’s subconscious after she’s already done a lot to try and make you comfortable - she’s close (or if possible, holding you/cuddling you, germs don’t mean much to her) and taking care of you and instinctively just purrs to try and soothe you. ;v;
Amber (Lady US Pap):
Best spot when relaxed: almost anywhere, frankly, she really enjoys casual intimacy like that, buuuut you’ll almost certainly get her if it’s along her sternum - or if her head’s in your lap and you stroke delicately along her nasal ridge.
Likely to purr in general when having quiet together time with you - eg, you’re both reading, maybe you’re leaning up against her side, each buried in your own book, or other activity - just together, doing your own laidback thing. She loves it and without fully registering will probably purr and nuzzle you a bit if you’re within easy range.
Also purrs if she catches you falling asleep against her. She’s a sucker for that gentle trust and mutual comfort.
Crimson (Lady UF Sans):
Best spot when relaxed: along the underside of her mandible, but also - if you’re willing to risk the casual moment turning more intimate - tracing/massaging her mid-to-lower spine. She’s a sucker for feeling your soft touch dancing along her spinous process. (the lower you go, the more you risk frisky energy, heh - but that’s not unlikely regardless, with her)
Likely to purr in general when you get caught up talking about something you’re passionate about. She likes the spark in your eye, the way your hands get all the more expressive, the vibrance to your very soul. The chances double if she catches you satisfied at the results of whatever you’re passionate about (eg, completing a difficult task that you were very into)
also will definitely purr if you get sassy/snap back rightfully at anyone who’s being a jackass to you. Of course, she’ll also summarily see if you... need her help (and probably send the bastards running if you consider it for even a moment), but the purring will happen in the end as she hooks you close and readily confesses to how hot that was and how much she likes seeing that spark in you. This kind of purring might turn x-rated very fast, woops
Scarlet (Lady UF Pap):
Best spot when relaxed: you have to be very close to earn this, but if you’re at that point with her, then - delicately massaging the bones of her wrist... or tracing her collarbone.
Likely to purr in general when you’ve asked her to help you with anything and you’ve gotten... close over the course of that help. Perhaps it’s learning how to cook something, or investigating something, or learning some measure of self-defense or even swordplay from her... pride in you reaching some level of success will absolutely induce a pleased purr from her.
Also prone to purring if she’s had a good amount to drink. She definitely forgets some of her inhibitions and will be inclined to be more flirty, too - it runs in the family - buuuut she can also accidentally fluster herself, woops. So try not to tease her too much if you want to maximize the purring if you’re drinking with her ;D
Pepper (Lady SF Sans):
posted about here :D
Cinnamon (Lady SF Pap):
Best spot when relaxed: stroke along her sternum, or gently massage her spine. She’s got a lot of built up tension - having a soft, sweet human she’s awfully close to help take care of that is practically a guarantee to start her purring.
Likely to purr in general when she gets high and gets to play with your hair/touch you (doesn’t have to be frisky touching, either - you’re just soft and it’s nice to her)... and also when she watches the northern lights or a meteor shower. The latter is a very happy and rare state for her, but you’ve never seen her so relaxed and in awe that isn’t carefully hidden/masked with something that edges control.
Also inclined to purr if you’re inclined to sing/make music of some kind. It doesn’t even have to be particularly skilled; hell, half the time her purring in this regard is never even witnessed. Maybe she catches you singing in the shower and just leans on the wall outside the bathroom to listen, or you’re picking up an instrument and she overhears you from the hall/another room. She enjoys the musical expression from you, and the exploration even if it’s not expert, so long as you’re into it.
Blade (Lady HT Sans):
Best spot when relaxed: her palms! They’re so much bigger than your hands, but gently tracing along them and/or massaging them just tickles something soft in her soul and she ends up purring.
Likely to purr in general when you’re resting on her in any sort of casual, deliberate way. The display of trust means a lot to her - she knows how scary and threatening she looks and how hard she can be to get that kind of close to.
Also inclined to purr whenever she finds you making food for her/her sister. For fairly obvious reasons that... kind of means everything to her. She’ll eat every bite of course, no matter what it tastes like, but if you’ve paid attention and made something she particularly enjoys... well, hope you’re prepared to be stuck in the very comfortable grip of a purring giant skeleton woman for a while yet - it’s time for a sleepover, probably.
Bonus: purring machine if she catches you and her sister napping. Favorite human, bonded so well and appreciating her sister too? You won’t catch her purring probably, but you will wake up to a blanket having been laid over you both and Blade almost certainly nearby. If not, then you’ll smell her obscenely good cooking in the other room for sure.
Twist (Lady HT  Pap):
Best spot when relaxed: gently tracing along her cheekbones/back of her skull, or along the vertebrae of her neck! Also, as is a bit of a trend, is a bit weak to the collarbone as well.
Likely to purr in general when you’re appreciating nature with her in any way. Sitting in her lap as she sings to the flowers? Helping her water the garden? Simply following along as she tends to her many plants/goes on her walks through the forest? She’s going to end up purring. It means the world to her that you’re interested, for whatever reason you may have.
Also going to purr if you’re willing to take a bath with her. They have a massive tub, but also a hot springs they tend; she really, really likes going there, and if she has you agree to go with her, though it’s a vulnerable sort of thing? Hoo boi.
Alpha (Lady Q Sans): 
Purring denied actually, as my sib (who made Q, Alpha’s og counterpart) states... Alpha would effectively be like: “I am no simple bitch, I am a super-advanced AI - you’re going to have to work harder than that to get me to do something like purring!”
... So, for now, she remains an enigma. You’d probably legit have to be with her for ages & married or some such to unlock that after... winning a significant and highly unlikely bet. Or a series of them. XD
Glyph (Lady G!Sans):
Hardest (besides Alpha) to get to purr, actually! You’d have to be at an obscenely high intimacy level to unlock this.
Best spot when relaxed... isn’t a thing for her, actually! It’s the reverse. She’d have to have you melting in her arms relaxing at her touch before she’d come close, oho.
Likely not to purr, in general, as stated... but if there was any chance beyond the one stated above, it’s almost certainly if she’s all but the opposite of sober. The others are all nigh positive they’ve never heard it, except Serif - who secretly has recorded footage from when she and Glyph got drunk one night while looking after the dogs and Glyph ended up in a pile of adorable dog affection.
She’s a bit too well-managed beyond that to let purring slip - the Coda side of her is extremely opposed to purring, so that part of her nature is withheld XD
Dusk (Lady HF Sans):
Best spot when relaxed: third trickiest to get to purr, actually... until after she’s coming out of a high-adrenaline state and is finally relaxing with you soothing her. Mandible’s the trick with her then, or general careful affection. She’s still a bit out of her mind - literally, giant hole in her head and all - and is a liiiittle on the feral side.
In exchange for hearing it, then, you’re probably gonna have to resign yourself to semi-feral protective instincts and chill in her protective hold for a while, heh.
Warning though - don’t mess with her floating ribs when she’s in that purring state. She’s been through a lot, and they’re really tender; you’re just as likely to cause her pain as ignite a passionate spark in her. It’s a danger zone.
Dawn (Lady HF Pap):
Best spot when relaxed:... I-If you can reach... she likes it when you touch (pet??) her nasal ridge, or massage the points where her giant horn/antlers connect to her skull.
Likely to purr in general when... er. Well. Honestly, she’s usually too... on-edge, and not terribly present, to purr. But if Dangerous Things have recently been significantly handled, enough to pull back to tend to wounds and stuff, she might start if you’re taken care of, her sister is there and safe as well, and the Snowdin forest has been, at least for a short reprieve, been successfully defended.
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natsubeatsrock · 4 years
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So, I’ve been watching RWBY, and...
I think it’s really good. It’s nowhere near perfect, but I’ve enjoyed it a lot. It’s somewhere between an 8 or a 9 out of 10 for me. Unfortunately, I don’t have a whole lot to say about the series itself. I like a lot about it, but none of it is stuff that I feel I can talk about for a long enough period of time to justify making a post about it.
But if we’re talking about RWDE, then I have some things to say about them. A lot of what I’ve done on this blog has revolved around fandom. Regarding Fairy Tail, I’ve believed that, as bad as Mashima could be, fandom could be infinitely worse about things. Though, RWDE strikes me as fascinating and I want to talk about them, given my rather unique experience.
If you don’t know, RWDE makes up a group of people who watch RWBY. They’re vocal critics about nearly every possible aspect of the series. You’ll notice that I don’t say that they’re all fans of the series. While many claim to still be fans of the series, it’s hard to take that seriously in a lot of cases. Some are also involved in toxic actions like harassment of fans and creators... because of course.
Now, this post isn’t an epic takedown of a lot of the ideas espoused by people in RWDE. Frankly, I have basic issues with the conclusions many have come to regarding the series. But I’m not personally interested in going through that. It’s also not a defense of RWDE’s actions towards others involved with the series. Considering what I went through with the Nali messages earlier this year, I don’t have patience for fans who decide to go after real life people for fictional series.
What I am interested in is a defense I’ve seen of RWDE’s existence: it’s totally fine to watch and talk about a show that you don’t love everything about. I’ve seen this a few times on a couple of RWDE posts. Frankly, this isn’t a new idea. I’ve seen this used by people who were critical of Fairy Tail back in the day. However, RWDE presents an interesting challenge to that.
How much can someone dislike a series before they decide to give up on it? And how useful is criticism given from the perspective of someone who hates the object of criticism?
I’ve had a lot of time to think about these questions, especially considering what I’ve been doing regarding Fairy Tail. There was a point in time where I was more critical of Fairy Tail than positive of it. If you read a lot of my posts from mid-2016 to early 2017, I take for granted that Fairy Tail is not a well written series. It hurt, especially considering Fairy Tail was the series that got me into the anime scene in the first place.
However, something had to give. Around the time I was reaching eight thousand posts, I came to two realizations: Fairy Tail was not a well written series and likely never was, but I still enjoyed reading, watching, and talking about it more than a lot of other things. I tried to reconcile the two when I hit the milestone and came to the conclusion that, despite my issues with the series and creator, I still love the series and wasn’t planning on leaving the series.
Of course, since then, I’ve gained a much more positive view of fhe series. A lot of the posts I’ve made since then have involved talking about why the things Mashima did make sense. I’m still willing to say that there are things about Fairy Tail I don’t like and that Mashima made some stupid decisions. However, they aren’t enough to drive me away from fandom or the series.
I don’t know that the same can be said for much of RWDE. A lot of the things I’ve seen said by RWDE tells me that they don’t love RWBY in its current form. They wish that the series were fundamentally different and abhor much of what is currently happening with the series. Given that RWBY is no longer under the direction of its creator, I can understand that to a degree. However, RWDE takes it to a level past sympathy for me.
I don’t think it’s impossible to have fun watching something you don’t enjoy or that you want to criticize. I go through arguments of stuff I don’t like and have fun thinking of how I’m going to rip them apart. I had fun reading stories for the Bye, Bye Lucy series because the tropes were terrible and ubiquitous (I wouldn’t read most of them for story quality unless you paid me).
But after a certain point in time, I feel like it just gets to where it isn’t fun to go through a series. If people get burnt out talking about the things they love, I’m not convinced that talking about something you don’t like can be sustainable for long. A lot of the people I know criticized Fairy Tail have long since left the fandom and don’t care about anything Mashima’s made anymore. I don’t know how long RWDE intends to exist. Even if it remains big up to the end of the series, whenever that will be, I can’t see it lasting for too long after that.
When it comes to their criticism of the series, that I find more fascinating. I’ve held the opinion for years that fandoms should allow for spaces to share both positive and negative opinions of the series without fear of being ostracized. This opinion was forged during a time where saying anything bad about Fairy Tail at its worst earned you the label of “toxic fan”. (It was a simpler time.)
However, a lot of RWDE criticism strikes me as misinformed. Again, RWBY is far from a perfect series. However, a lot of its critics attack it for some of the craziest and nonsensical reasons. Many almost give the impression they didn’t actually watch the show attentively.
Like it’s not as if there isn’t criticism of RWBY to be leveled. I think the White Fang analogy to real life issues could have been better. I don’t love the Maiden plot line. I’m not a big fan of much of the songs in this series. (Not sure if it’s the lyrics or Casey Lee Williams’ voice.)
However, when RWDE criticizes RWBY, it’s almost as if they want something that isn’t RWBY. I’ve seen fans criticize the series and they have legitimate concerns, some of which I just mentioned. And their critiques involve the series being a better version of what it is. That’s an important difference.
If you weren’t one of the seven people who paid attention to my series talking about what our heroes should and shouldn’t do, one point I make over and over is that context should inform content. What a series is about should inform what a series does. I think that comes easier when people love the series they’re talking about than if they don’t.
Of course, it’s not as if you can’t do that if you don’t like a series. One of my favorite analytical series is Digi-nee’s “The Asterisk War Sucks” (I was going to link videoes here, but it’s not all available). That series isn’t just about why The Asterisk War is a bad light novel series that became an anime. It goes through how the series fails as an adaptation of a light novel, sci-fi series, romance story, action series, tournament arc, and even fan service show.
But to get to that, you have to be willing to work for it. Digi had to watch the series in its entirety 4 times. Even if you did like The Asterisk War, I find it hard to see Digi’s points as baseless hatred. It feels like RWDE watched the series once, maybe twice, before making their points. And honestly, it shows.
The future of any fandom is unpredictable and I can’t claim to know what will happen years from now. However, I can’t imagine RWDE being a permanent part of FNDM. Fans hate their existence as it is and many don’t agree with their arguments. If they’re anything like the most toxic parts of other fandoms, they’ll throw fits at the end of the series and move onto something else in about a year.
In Conclusion:
I think you can gain enjoyment out of something you don’t like and criticize something that you don’t love or even used to love. RWDE is the worst examples of these things, bordering on “exception to the rule”, and I will celebrate their inevitable downfall.
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drwcn · 4 years
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haha this kid has it hard. There is not a single functional romance in this entire family. None. I wrote a little something :) I do take prompts, I just might not be very timely to respond, depending on my inspiration reserve and work schedule/exams etc. Again, btsf!verse (or post btsf!verse if you will, that’s where my brain is at these days), but can be read independently. Hope you don’t mind.  
Warning: this is a fluff piece but a servant gets slapped in this. she is a minor, a trope frequently scene in historical dramas and traditional households. 
When Jin Ling was seven years old, he developed his first crush. In the many years to come, he would develop many crushes - pretty girls, tall boys - but his first crush was on one of Jinlintai’s servant’s daughter, an older girl with shiny braids and soft dark eyes. And because he liked her, he found all sorts of reasons to see her (read: pester, command, annoy). 
Jin Ling was a menace, and xiao-Rui had up until this point in time tolerated his behaviour, but this last straw was the one that finally broke the camel’s back. 
Clack!
Jin Ling didn’t know the right vocabulary for it yet, but an older him would reflect on this as the moment he “fucked up”. The yin’er congee splattered across the marble floor and up the hem of his brocade robes, staining it. Beside the upturned cherry-wood tray, the jade bowl and ivory spoon laid in pieces. 
Oops. 
Jin Ling wouldn’t have panicked, because truly this was no big deal. He was sure the kitchen had lots of other bowls and could whip up another congee in no time. But then xiao-Rui slowly knelt down, curled up into a ball and began to cry. 
Jin Ling felt all the calm instantly evaporate from his small seven year old body. Oh no! Crying girl?! What to do, what to do, what to do???? 
What did father do when mother cried??? Ah heck, what was he thinking? Mother didn’t cry. Crying was beneath Mother. 
“What’s going on here?” A harsh voice echoed from down the hall. Jin Ling blinked, surprised. Nobody here ever dared use that tone of voice with him. At Lotus Pier maybe, he and his little sister Jiang Rao would get reprimanded for being particularly naughty, but that was usually their mother and she never needed to raise her voice to put the fear of immortals in them. Jin Ling swallowed nervously, looking over his shoulder, praying that Jiang Yanli didn’t somehow magically transport herself from Yunmeng to appear behind him. 
She didn’t. Thank the gods. 
From spring to fall of every year, Jin Ling spent his time at Lanling under the care of his uncle Lianfang-zun who he would one day succeed. After several months, Jin Ling had come to realize that his Uncle A-Yao was itching to spoil him due to having no children of his own. This meant outside of his daily lessons in cultivation and etiquette (sprinkled with just a little bit of politics), Jin Ling was allowed to run wild, something he was rarely allowed to do at his a-niang’s Lotus Pier unless his a-die championed on his behalf. Jiang Yanli was a gentle mother, sweet, soft-spoken, and loving. But everyone under the sun with half a brain knew Sect Master Jiang was a woman made out of diamond, forged by the war, beautiful and unbreakable. Up against her, even with his father and his two uncles backing him up, Jin Ling had no chance.
The voice that called out belonged to an older woman, a momo, neatly attired in pale orange and earth brown - servant’s colours - with her grey streaked hair tightly coiffed back into a severe bun. She walked briskly, back straight and face grim, until she came all the way up to them and their mess. [momo - an older female servant]
Once she saw who he was, she quickly relaxed her posture and curtsied deeply, “shizi*, shao-gongzi*, I apologize on behalf of the servants for not tending to your needs that you must trouble yourself to come down to the lower units. What may I do for you? What has this undisciplined yatou done to upset you?” [1)shizi = heir, 2)shao-gongzi = young master, 3)yatou = girlie, referring to a young girl, or a servant girl].  
Jin Ling blinked, much confused. Surely, he was the one causing the upset. He certainly wasn’t the one crying. 
“Uh....” 
“Oh no, you stupid girl, that’s Qin-zhangshi’s yin’er congee and her favourite bowl!” The momo yelled angrily. [zhangshi 长事 - head of staff] 
Qin-zhangshi? Oh yes, that was his aunt Qin Su, Jinlintai’s Head of Staff who handled all the internal affairs. This would be the duty of the Lady of Lanling if his uncle A-Yao had had a wife, but he didn’t, hence the burdening of his only sister to rise to the task.  
“Zhao-momo, I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to -” xiao-Rui squeaked as Zhang-momo pulled her up by the ear. A second later, a loud clap was heard and she cried out in pain. Zhao-momo had slapped her soundly across the cheek, leaving red to bloom where her hand had been.  
That jostled Jin Ling out of his trance. “Hey!” He exclaimed, using all the power of his seven-year-old barely-cultivated body to shove the momo out of the way.
After that he barely remembered what he did. 
-
Qin Su was having an exceptionally good day. Jinlintai for once was running like a well-oiled machine, so much so that she felt in the mood to call for a bowl of yin’er congee as a mid-afternoon snack. It was one of her favourite treats...but it was taking a rather longer time than usual to get here. 
Before she could ring to see what was the hold up, the door to her study burst open, revealing her seven-year-old nephew, a servant girl he dragged by the hand, and a flustered Zhao-momo, the supervisor of the kitchen staff.  
The front of Jin Ling’s robe was ruined by a large patch of food stain - congee from the looks of it. The girl, sobbing, had clearly been struck, and Zhao momo.... 
Qin Su took one long hard look at the situation and was instantly reminded of what Jin Zixuan had been like at this age. As Qin Cangye’s daughter, she had  crossed path with him frequently all her life. She wasn’t quite sure how Meng Yao might’ve behaved at seven, and xiao-Yu had always been too timid for a Jin, but this...this had Zixuan’s bullshit all over it.  Though, Qin Su internally rolled her eyes, even without his father, Jin Ling had plenty of bad examples to learn from: 
Jiang Cheng, for one, never outgrew awkward, not with the way he still stared at Wen Qing every cultivation conference. At least it was difficult for most people to discern between his deathly stare of murder and his thirsty stare of sexual frustration. 
Wei Wuxian and Hanguang-jun, as saccharine and grossly in love as they were now, only learned to communicate after one of them faked their death for a year. 
xiao-Yu visited Qinghe every month and stayed for most of it. Qin Su never asked him what he did there, and frankly she didn’t want to know. 
As for a-Yao, if Zewu-jun didn’t do more than play his goddamn instruments and talk about philosophy every time he invited A-Yao to Cloud Recesses, Qin Su was afraid her poor brother would soon physically combust.  
Thus, with the full fondness of a doting aunt and the exasperation and wisdom of a woman who once almost married her own brother, Qin Su said, “A-Ling, my sweet dear, that is not how you treat a lady, and certainly not how you treat a lady you like.” Jin Ling dropped the girl’s hand like a hot potato. “San-gugu! I don’t - that’s not - I mean - I -” [san-gugu = third auntie] While she left the boy sputtering, Qin Su turned to the older servant. “Zhao-momo, you may return to your duties. You’re an efficient supervisor; I’ve always liked that about you, but if I hear of you hitting another one of the girls again, you and I will have words, am I clear?”  “Yes, Qin-zhangshi. Of course, of course.” Zhao-momo backed out the room and fled.  Softening her tone, Qin Su waved the girl over. “Come, child, come closer and let me take a look. My, you are pretty one. Now, now no more tears, or you’ll redden those lovely eyes. Oh geez,” she clicked her tongue as she tilted the girl’s face to examine it. “It’s a bit swollen. Luoti,” She looked to her handmaid. “Bring her down to get some ice and ah...some cream. For the inflammation.” “Yes, ma’am. Come on, xiao-Rui.” 
“Thank you Qin-zhangshi! Thank you Qin-zhangshi!”  Luoti led xiao-Rui away, shutting the door behind them with a click. Jin Ling, shame-faced and embarrassed, stood before his only aunt with his head bowed low. “Gugu...you’re not - you’re not going to tell a-niang on me are you?”  His uncle never tattled. If Jin Ling did anything wrong, Uncle A-Yao would give him a stern talking to that would often turn to a long boring lecture. But then after, Uncle A-Yao would simply have a word with his a-die, and his a-die would just give him another Jin-styled talking to and then brush the whole thing under the rug so his a-niang would never find out. (She still does though, more than half the time, like goddamn magic.) Now his gugu, his gugu was the best, the absolute best, and he’s yet to receive any kind of reprimand from her. 
Well there’s a first time for everything - as his da-jiujiu would say. 
Qin Su rose from her dais, came up to him and lifted his down-turned chin so he could look her. “A-Ling. Are you going to tell me what happened?” “Uhm....”  “Hm?” “Will you tell mother? I promised her I would be good.” And I haven’t been.  
“Of course I will. She is your mother and deserves to know about your well-being. But, remember this: honesty will grant you forgiveness, but dishonesty will only see to punishment. Your a-niang has always been fair with you and your sister, hasn’t she?”
The boy visibly sagged. “I was bothering xiao-Rui. And I made her drop her tray. The congee spilled everywhere and the bowl broke,” confessed Jin Ling. 
“And why did you do that?”
“Because...” 
“Because?” 
Jin Ling grumbled something incoherent. 
Qin Su sighed. Taking his hand, she said, “Let’s get you changed, my love. And then after, you and I will have a long talk. Don’t worry, it’s not one of your Uncle A-Yao’s boring lectures. If you’re good, maybe we can go to town and I’ll let you pick out an apology gift for poor xiao-Rui. How does that sound?” 
Jin Ling nodded fervently, his smile wide. 
Qin Su chuckled, thinking that while her generation may have been thoroughly fucked over by the circumstances of their youth, there was no need to continue that tradition. Not when the times have been so peaceful. Tonight, she will write to her lovely sister-in-law who will surely have a good laugh over her son’s antics.   
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homo-sex-shoe-whale · 5 years
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You guys don't need to read this but if you want to, it's here
Content warning: depression, suicide, addiction. Probably some others so just beware
Hey guys. It's about time we have a chat.
I know I'm not running this blog like I used to. I know I'm not as active. And I'm not here to apologise for it because at the end of the day I don't owe y'all shit. Even content. But I do want to get my thoughts out into the universe. Not as a confession, but as a way of making all that's happened to me feel more organised. You'd be surprised how much peace of mind organisation brings me.
My main focus at the moment is keeping myself alive so time can drag me along and frankly, that's taking a surprising amount of the little energy I have.
I always knew I was at a higher risk for depression than most people. My great aunt committed suicide and my whole family found her. I grew up watching my other aunt be clinically depressed. 90% of my relatives are alcoholics or addicts in a way or another. I had emotionally abusive (yet astoundingly unaware) parents growing up. I was violently rejected by my parents when I was outed to them before I was even ready to come out. Yet somehow I thought I was immune to depression. I always thought "That can't happen to me. I'm pretty, I'm smart, and I have everything I need and more."
Then I started feeling this weird emptiness inside. I stopped caring about things I used to love, like TV series or books. I just thought I was maturing and was soon going to develop new interests. Then I stopped caring about maintaining the relationships around me. I didn't have the energy to talk properly even to people I loved. I grew cold and my gf and I broke up. I lost some friends here and there. I just thought I was moving onto a new chapter and that this meant new relationships were coming my way. Then came the sleep disturbances. I woke up 1-2 times almost every night, and took over an hour to fall back asleep. But I've always had trouble sleeping. I started taking sleep supplements at age 10. Just anxiety over college applications, I thought.
Then I started losing weight. I thought it was kind of weird that I felt nauseous every time I started eating, but didn't give it much thought. After all, I've always been underweight. Both my parents were underweight as teens and struggled to reach a healthy weight until their mid-late 20s. At first I was barely 2kg under. But then it dropped more. 3kg. 4kg. 5kg. I had no energy for anything eventually. I couldn't even exercise anymore without feeling like I was gonna faint.
Then I started doing riskier things I wouldn't normally do. Talking to random girls in hopes of hooking up. I knew they didn't care about me, and in turn I didn't care about them back. I just hoped they would make me feel something, even if for just an hour or two. I went out to parties I wasn't supposed to be at and hoped I could perhaps drink my troubles away. I understood why so many of my family members were alcoholics. I processed alcohol faster than anyone else around me- I could take 3 shots of vodka and be sober again by the time everyone else was still on the high.
I went to a pharmacology course once and we talked about why some people were heavier drug users than others. We discussed how some people were genetically fast-metabolisers and others were slow-metabolisers. Fast-metabolisers were more likely to be addicts since they felt the "high" faster than others, but also came out of it faster, meaning they take higher amounts of drug. Just for fun some of us at the course got tested. My genetics told me I was a fast metaboliser, and I wasn't surprised.
I did all this knowing I was genetically and psychologically more susceptible to addiction. And like everything else in my life, I didn't give a shit. I never needed alcohol. I could go weeks without even thinking about it. I knew I wasn't an alcoholic, especially not as a teenager. But I knew how much more than the average person I could drink, especially for my size. I knew it could hurt my body. Again, I just didn't care at all. I wanted to care. I loved my body and I wanted it to last long so I could see better days. No one peer pressured me. No one even suggested these parties to me in the slightest. I was fully at fault. Rather idiotically, I hoped the chemical numbness would distract me from the emotional one. That failure goes without saying.
When I realised it, I had no energy for anything. And that's where I am now. It feels like everything takes so much effort. Getting myself out of bed. Writing pieces of schoolwork that would normally be dead easy. Don't get me mistaken here- I am not, and have not been, suicidal. I already feel dead enough. What I want is to feel alive, not more dead. I'm searching for these things that will make me feel alive. Girls and whatnot. I don't even hate myself or have low self esteem. Fuck, I'm beautiful. I think that every time I look in the mirror. I'm so smart. I just get things. But I just have this emptiness inside of me I can't shake. I just can't seem to care about anything anymore.
I know the appropriate response here is to see a professional. I'm not a fool. I'm not going to say I am depressed because I don't believe in self-diagnosis. However, again, I'm not a fool. I've seen depression before. I know what it looks like. I'm unfortunately well acquainted with it. I know there is a chance I am depressed.
However, it doesn't really matter. I am a minor and my parents don't believe in mental health. Last time I told them I wanted to see a psychologist, they grounded me. They're the type of people who think you can just "get over" depression. So seeing a professional isn't exactly an option.
This is why I say I'm just keeping myself alive and letting time drag me by. I'm moving out in less than 9 months. I'm not a minor anymore next year. I'm in not-so-ideal conditions, sure, but these are not permanent.
It's a shitty situation, but that's ok. Unsurprisingly, I don't seem to care about that either.
If you read this post up until here- congratulations! I don't really expect any replies. Please don't DM me. I don't have the energy to chat. Comment whatever you want, if you decide to do so. I appreciate the well intentioned anons you guys have been sending me, even though the attention is just a bit overwhelming.
Thanks,
Ana.
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fanfic-corner · 4 years
Text
Established Relationships
So you want fics without any of the awkwardness of a weird build up or painful pining? Then here are some established relationship fics for you.
Crazy Diamonds by pantheon_of_discord on AO3. (24,872 words).
Tags: Time Travel, Episode s04e02 Are You There God? It’s Me, Dean Winchester, Future Fic, Human Castiel, Castiel in the Bunker, Established Relationship, Impala Sex, Angel of the Lord!Cas.
My Rating: 5 stars.
Description: A week ago, Dean was pulled out of Hell. Now, he’s apparently woken up in 2018, and the angel that a mere twenty-four hours beforehand had threatened to chuck him back into the pit is sleepily pouring himself coffee and wearing Dean’s second-favourite Zeppelin shirt. It all seems like a perfect happy ending, but with Hell’s scars still so fresh, Dean can’t imagine how he could have possibly gotten there. At the same time, the Dean who went to sleep in the bunker, right next to Cas, wakes up on Bobby’s couch in 2008. He’s instantly bombarded with questions by a Lilith-obsessed brother and a man who’s been dead for years, and must decide between keeping his finally-perfect life intact, and the lives he could save by re-writing history. Regardless of these choices, both Deans are trapped in the wrong decade, and their only way back lies with a Castiel still very much under Heaven’s thumb – one who might find the future Dean describes difficult to believe.
Notes: I do love a good time travel fic, and frankly, Dean still being pissy about Ruby made me laugh out loud.
Just Like You by imherecauseimnotallthere98 on AO3. (35,717 words).
Tags: Homophobia, Homophobic John, Hurt Dean Winchester, Protective Dean Winchester, Established Relationship, Protective Castiel, BAMF Castiel, Protective Sam Winchester, Angry John, Angry Dean Winchester, Angry Sam Winchester, Protective Bobby Singer, Awesome Bobby, Hurt/Comfort, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Scared Dean, John Being an Asshole, Swearing, Bisexual Dean, Pansexual Castiel, Past Child Abuse, Accidental Outing, Death Threats, Fluff and Angst, Implied Sexual Content, Sharing a Bed.
My Rating: 5 stars.
Description: When John shows up at their door in the middle of the night, the Winchesters and Cas start looking into who or what could have brought him back. Meanwhile, Dean struggles to keep his relationship with Cas a secret from his father, with some help from Sam. The tension rises between the Winchesters as Dean shows John that he is no longer the obedient little soldier he once was, and tries to establish himself as an equal with his dad.
Notes: I am fully aware I recced this really recently, but I did really enjoy it and there is an established relationship! I am starting a new rule where I will only rec things more than once if I rate them either 4 or 5 stars, but if I read a fic worse than that while specifically looking at a tag, then it will be in that post. Does that make sense? I think it does.
Take You To The Country by almaasi on AO3. (18,987 words).
Tags: Historical AU, Propositions, Eloping, Newspapers, Fluff, Romance, Forbidden Love, Misunderstandings, Pining, First Kiss, Established Relationship, Running Away Together, Moving In Together, Childhood Friends, Marriage Proposal, Farmer Dean, Bisexual Dean, Domestic Dean Winchester, Clock maker Castiel, Autistic Castiel, Frustrated Sam.
My Rating: 5 stars.
Description: A Dean/Cas 1950s AU. Dean reads an elopement proposal in the town's local newspaper, written by some old soul in love with their best friend. He's mid-way through expressing to his brother how beautiful he finds it when Dean realises the proposal is for him.
Notes: So cute! I love the letter Sam writes to the newspaper at the end, it was just so beautifully written and he seemed simultaneously so happy for them and so done. I’m not really sure it counts as an established relationship, but it is tagged that, so I’ll include it.
Cuckoo And Nest by komodobits on AO3. (10,190 words).
Tags: Generically canonverse, Established Relationship, Miscommunication.
My Rating: 4 stars.
Description: For a long time, Castiel thought that every earthly possession other than the immediately necessary was excess to requirement. But Dean – Dean who named his car, who keeps a photograph of his mother in his wallet, some thirty-plus years after her death, who still has the crumpled ‘Do Not Disturb’ sign with a sleeping pelican emblazoned on it from the Microtel outside of Roanoke where he first kissed Castiel, clumsy and unsure, under the unsteady fluorescence of an exhausted bathroom bulb – is sentimental. It puzzles Castiel, where Dean draws the line between what is meaningful and what it is worthless.
Notes: Beautifully written, and I genuinely don’t know how they managed to make such a short fic that angsty. Maybe it’s just ‘cause Cas leaving the bunker almost made me cry. Hmm.
The Tea Is Decaf by mnwood on AO3. (3,673 words).
Tags: POV Castiel, Fluff, Sign Language, Castiel in the Bunker, Bunker Fluff, Canon Compliant, Sharing Clothes, Asexual Castiel, Gentle Dean, Non-Explicit Sex, Domestic, Established Relationship.
My Rating: 4 stars.
Description: Based on this text post from thebloggerbloggerfun: "Listen, imagine Eileen sneaking out of Sam’s room at night to go to the bathroom or something and steps out into the hallway in one of Sam’s shirts only to see Cas trying to quietly leave Dean’s room while wearing one of Dean’s shirts and they both just stare at each other awkwardly for a few seconds before trying to muffle quiet laughter and now they have a late night club where they talk about life and gossip about the Winchesters in sign language" And this anon I received: "what if Eileen and Cas discover there are some things Sam and Dean both do in bed because Dean jokingly gave Sam pointers when they were younger and Sam took the advice"
Notes: Does it matter that Eileen has only been in one episode I have seen? No. I will rec this fic until the day I die. I’m not even 100% why. I will tell you that it is pretty much the reason I screamed when I realised I finally met Eileen, though.
Say Yes by MaggieMaybe160 on AO3. (7,996 words).
Tags: Episode s05e04 The End, Established Relationship, Secret Relationship, Cheating, Drug Use, Angst, Fluff and Angst, Canon Compliant, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Nearly Human Castiel, Dreams vs Reality, POV Dean Winchester, POV Castiel, True Love, Love Triangles, Idiots in Love, Marriage Proposal, Wedding Rings, Chronic Pain.
My Rating: 4 stars.
Description: Endverse!Dean's life is going pretty well with Endverse!Cas until Dean's past self shows up. A look at the episode "The End" from Season 5 from Endverse!Dean's point of view.
Notes: Quite cute, mostly canon compliant, and the ending gives me the serious chills. To be honest, the episode did as well.
What Holds Us Up by frecklesarechocolate on AO3. (39,708 words).
Tags: Established Relationship, Kissing, Case Fic, Angst, Minor Character Death, Implied Homophobia, Post Season 9.
My Rating: 4 stars.
Description:  What happens when John Winchester suddenly comes back to life, and meets the boys as they are today?
Notes: Very cute, an excellent case, and so nice to see some characters we haven’t seen in a long while! The Sam and Jody ship did freak me out a little bit though: I guess I just never even thought of them that way so I don’t exactly ship it. (Apparently it freaked me out so much I deleted it from my bookmarks?!)
What’s A Hickey? by almaasi on AO3. (1,101 words). 
Tags: Hickeys, Marking, Castiel & Sam Winchester Friendship, Fluff, Ficlet, Human Castiel, Established Castiel/Dean Winchester, Relationship Reveal.
My Rating: 3 stars.
Description: Sam and Cas have a conversation about hickeys. Specifically, about the one on Castiel's neck.
Notes: Sam and Cas’s friendship has such a specific vibe that I live for but can’t put into words... luckily this talented author can, and we got this.
So there we are! I hope you enjoy them, and if you have any requests for fic lists or any fics you think I should read, please tell me! Otherwise, enjoy the last few episodes (or if you are like me, pray you avoid spoilers until you can catch up 3 seasons).
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lethbians · 4 years
Note
can you explain what's going on right now? i keep seeing big IT blogs talking about some discourse or something but i have no idea what they're talking about other than it involves you lol
alright i like. i truly do not like having diScOurSE out in public because i’m not one to air out my dirty laundry 24/7 but seeing as how it was brought into public against my will i feel like the least i can do is clear up the situation for those who’ve been seeing the posts. 
i’m putting this under the cut bc it’s long. tws for some biphobia, brief mention of transphobia and, at the end, a rape mention. 
so if you don’t know: hi, i’m migz, i’m an it fandom blogger. its okay, i know, its really cool. part of my shtick here is that i like to turn normal thirst tags into works of art for the sake of comedy. perhaps you’ve seen some of my highlights from my “fhg” tag - perhaps your brain has been spared. either way, it became kind of “my thing” around the third or fourth week (mid nov) of me having this blog. at first, i tagged just about every ask i got mentioning the thirst tags with “bill hader” - they had to do with him, so why not tag him? it would draw more like minded people! about two days into that i got a message asking me to tag my nsfw. i am a big dumb idiot, and apologize for not initially doing it. i havent had a following bigger than like 10 in several years and completely spaced on basic etiquette. so by the end of november i was tagging everything applicable  with “notsfw” and “bill hader”. 
now you’re caught up.
on december 1st i got this message from user billhaderanti:
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now i want to start by saying i absolutely was in the wrong here. i didn’t even think about how many people were being subjected to the asks i was getting - especially ones who had no idea they were all jokes. i don’t track the bill hader tag, so it just didn’t even occur to me - that’s ignorance on my part, and to anyone who was subjected to the terrors of me before my tagging system: i am genuinely sorry. i relay the same sentiment in my response, though you can tell i’m on edge.
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and they replied:
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clearly they Were offended by it but thats.. not the point. at this point, im feeling Really weird about the whole interaction, but still understanding, because again - i GET it. i know my posts are gross - that’s the point. it doesn’t make it excusable, though, which is why i understand why people are offended. so i responded with the only solution i Knew would keep us both safe and happy posting on our own blogs. 
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so i thought this would be the end of things! i’d been pretty anxious lately already since i’d started to receive anons telling me i was gross and whore-ish for thirst posting in this way (i delete all of those, so if ur thinking about sending one, i guess no one’s stopping you but it won’t be seeing the light of the dashboard). i’m unsure if it was immediately or a few hours later, seeing as how i have a bad concept of time and the post-dates are right on the edge between nov 30 and dec 1, but i went to their blog - because anyone who has been on the internet knows the opportunity to vague post is near irresistible. and...what do ya know
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fair! it’s their blog. however i am an emotionally fragile egg girl and immediately got freaked out. the odds that they were the only one who thought this were low. and, again, i’ve been very open on my blog about how important it is to respect boundaries; my posts are absolutely prone to breaking those boundaries people have created for themselves. 
so i made my own, semi-vague post, letting my following know (and i’m pretty sure i’d answered asks about it before, but this is going to be long enough w/o me searching those up too) that i understood if they wanted to block me or unfollow or whatever - people need to create their own safe spaces. the tension is pretty clear in the tags, i’m not trying to hide that. i felt that the way this woman slid into my dm’s was pretty abrasive (just my opinion/how it made me personally feel) and i let myself be a lil emotional about it in the tags of my post.
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alright! maybe this is the end. maybe we both go our separate ways and post happily on our own blogs... except it’s not the end. later in the day (some of this was happening like 1/2am, so now its Day day, i believe - again, not good w time passage lol)
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clearly, i’m upset. my groupchat double checked that i didn’t get too emotional in my response - did i mention im anxious about discourse lol - and apparently.. it did the trick. she didn’t message me again. great. it was over. 
at this point, i decided i needed to make an even bigger change. so a few days after i’d calmed down i created an entirely new tag for my thirst posts so if people hadn’t already hidden the notsfw posts or just blocked me outright, they’d have a third option to escape the madness. at this point, id had my blog about 6? weeks, but there were still 2k posts for me to sift through - some of them were completely untagged. i also had to do it post by post, because one of xkits features - the mass re-tagger - was getting blogs deleted for some reason, and i wasn’t going to do that. so i spent a few days going through all 2k+ posts, adding the “fhg” tag. 
YEEHAW! a brand new tagging system, no more hopping into the bill hader tag (minus one or two really funny, not super explicit asks, like the bill hader farquaad meme), and, tbf, i’d completely put this woman out of my mind. i don’t seek out drama and do my best to stay in my lane. yesterday, i checked my activity for the first time in awhile since id put out a couple new original posts that had started to get traction and i Love reading tags. i noticed a mutual had @’d me, and realized i havent checked my @’s in...ever, maybe. i see a post from my good pal billhaderanti. 
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since i dont follow them and never check my @’s, i’d completely missed it. however, once i did see it, i was horrified. id gone through all that fucking work to keep my blog My Blog and also respect everyone’s boundaries and it still hadn’t been enough. i’d been awake for almost 24 hours and went. a little crazy. and i didn’t reply immediately because i just had no words. i sent it to my friends because i... i just wasn’t going to be able to figure it out myself. 
there’s a lot to unpack in this post alone, but whatever, i’m gonna put my own grievances with the immaturity of 1. making a callout post to begin with when i’d been nothing but civil 2. making a callout post about something as (in the grand scheme of Life) minor as some tags where i refer to a someone’s genitals as a “whack pack” and 3. making a callout post in such a rude way - aside. at the end, she calls me (and whoever else!) a demonic mlw (man loving woman, we assumed, and then later confirmed with a post further back on her blog). 
which - yeah, we started scrolling. at first we were looking for more vague blogs, and then we just...started finding things. billhaderanti is a self proclaimed lesbian separatist, which... fine. but it’s already pretty clear that this woman hates me on some level simply because i am a bi woman (demonic mlw, remember!) which is just. damn man i can’t believe we are still fighting the biphobic fight lol. so the more we scrolled, the more we uncovered - and not just the biphobic / vaguely mtf transphobic things they posted (or put in tags), but we also found that they had their OWN thirst tags. certainly not as hyperbolically comedic as mine, but they were there, talking about his body and his person the same (and, frankly, a bit creepier for other reasons) as mine. 
there’s one post in particular that snatched my wig in it’s creepiness - and i say creepiness in the sense that it feels personal. like this woman feels like she knows bill to some degree where she can say these things. my tags have always had a sense of distance, as they’re written for humor. and maybe this particular post was written for comedic purposes, but it doesn’t read that way, and if it WAS, then she has no right to call ME out for MY comic tags and posts. 
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i’ll let it speak for itself, mostly because i don’t want to read it again. 
i also won’t be going through her blog again to find the posts with biphobic and other Interesting:tm: tags because there are plenty and i just really! want to be done with the whole ordeal! her blog is public and i’m sure you can all find it and look to your heart’s content. 
feeling a bit feral and a bit pissed off now that we knew the depth of how rotten this woman’s vibes were, a couple of my pals made a post or two similar to what my tag’s are like except turned up to eleven (if possible) - and tagged them with “bill hader” (and notsfw!!). yes, a bit childish, but at this point, the entire situation was childish, and making jokes was truly the only way we were going to get through it. another vague post went up on her blog soon after.
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talking down to us, calling us children, and then for whatever reason calling us virgins... whatever, weird post. around this time most of us (est) went to bed, because it was nearing 3 or 4 in the morning. 
and then today happened. i woke up fresh and ready for the day after a wonderful 4 hours of sleep and found that jane had made an incredibly intelligent post in response to the situation. i won’t ss it, but i’ll LINK in case you missed it. attached there in the reblog is my own response. i think they can speak for themselves. 
after that, things were kind of jumbled, since i wasn’t online a lot and when i was i was Not checking my activity simply because i was afraid of what i’d see. for the most part, it ended up just being support (which i am very grateful to all of you for - it means a lot that you all enjoy my content to any degree). 
there was some more vague posting from both “““““sides”””””” of the “““““argument”””””” - mostly just people restating the fact that this is a public space and we should All be aware of how we effect others. i still hadn’t heard directly from billhaderanti, so i assumed we’d all be dropping and disengaging and moving on. i still wasn’t blocked, though, so who really knew what would happen. 
eventually, it culminated in this last post. tw for mentions of rape
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i’m going to start by saying that 
1. there are nearly no teenagers that were involved in this. im turning 23 in january and most of my friends are 20+. maybe one or two are 19. 
2. none of us sent any sexually violent asks - most of us didn’t send asks at all. i believe one or two of my friends admitted to sending asks however they assured me their nature wasn’t bad; as far as i know, everyone remained civil in whatever went on (again, unclear to me as to what was being sent; no one was actively posting or talking about it. if billhaderanti wishes to elaborate, they can, but i don’t have anything to put in). 
3. before i finish this, i would like to apologize to billhaderanti. as a comedian - not just my stupid tags, i mean in real life, too - i know that humor can hurt. it’s not always funny, it’s not just stupid hahas. sometimes things that are supposed to be jokes just hit people differently and cause bad things. i recognize that. i never meant to trigger you (if you’re reading this) or cause you any severe mental/emotional harm. i apologize for my humor bringing up your trauma, and i never meant for that. regardless of my own thoughts and opinions about the nature of my posts/the thirst tags themselves, they hurt you, and i’m sorry. 
anyway, i’m going to wrap this up (i’m bad at endings, what can i say! steven king and i took the same writer’s class!). if you read all this... sorry. i probably won’t be taking any asks about it, because i find the whole “drama” of this to be stupid and rooted in some seriously biphobic issues this fully grown woman has. 
tldr; i attempted to contain my blog so this woman could exist and function safely on her blog, but it wasn’t enough for her, so she called me out, and then some of the fandom called Her out for being biphobic and mean and overall just immature about the situation. as of now, she’s yet to block me, though her and her wife have blocked a few of my friends. her wife continues to clown on my friends. this post was made for clarity’s sake. the end, i’m getting a drink. 
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softgrungeprophet · 4 years
Text
my hot take is that Agent Venom did not develop flash thompson’s character in any revolutionary way other than the standard: a few aspects building off of previously established things (which of course is how good development should be, so yes there is decent character development in there)
it did not bring anything new (which is fine) and even regressed some of his previous character development (namely wrt his disability) (which isn’t necessarily inherently bad cause people can totally regress but when it’s treated as if it is novel and in service of new characterization that’s where i get annoyed, and when it directly contradicts a good resolution that’s also frustrating)
agent venom was part of the further “fuck yeah american military” bullshit that was foisted onto flash’s character, making it completely two-dimensional, in the mid 2000s which i LOATHE with my entire being, the most heinous writer in this regard being dan slott though others really get on my nerves with it as well. frankly i don’t think he should have even gone back to the army in the first place but whatever. it’s whatever.
there are like two separate two dimensional aspects to flash. one is the “patriot who is proud of his service” characterization which is quite honestly totally baseless for flash when you look at what actually happened both times he was in the army and how he actually responded to the things that happened (not positively that’s for sure)
the other one is obviously the “flash was a horrible awful violent bully piece of shit who made peter terrified of school” which while flash was a jackass in high school, is really... lmfao... peter was not afraid of flash one bit. peter knocked him out with a light tap when they fought in the gym. peter sniped right back at him. when flash shoved peter and accidentally knocked his glasses off peter almost started a fistfight right in the middle of class. he was perfectly capable of standing up to flash and did so on a regular basis even as they gradually became more comfortable around each other during college and became friends.
was flash an asshole teenage boy? yeah, of course he was. he was an ineffectual shithead. but the continuing retcons which make him worse and worse and worse to the point of being a threat are so annoying-- so maybe THIS is what people talk about when they say flash had no character before agent venom. because all they know of flash’s character before that was “generic jock bully” and not “guy who reads early 20th century poetry” or “guy who volunteers with at-risk children” or “guy who plays a dozen sports and hasn’t touched a football since high school” or “guy who is disabled and is okay with that” or “guy who likes to hang with MJ and lay in the grass and just chill”
ANYWAY this is mundane and unimportant idk why i am even talking about this but i do think flash had plenty of character before agent venom... just because people don’t know about it or think he was a one-note bully and nothing else doesn’t mean nothing was there before dan slott and rick remender swooped in with the blatant military propaganda and no-homo jokes
here’s my dumb tags relocated into the post cause i never shut up
i think bunn's run did some of the most solid steps toward what flash had been before--by making him a high school gym teacher. but the fact is that for most of agent venom a lot of his traits and 90% of his friendships were completely scrapped. he went from being one of mj's dear friends to outright getting mad that peter would dare talk to her about significant emotions (AV origin). which is fucking ridiculous and i hate that scene SO much. garbage.
gee why is peter talking to mary jane about an emotionally charged event that affects him very strongly I WONDER it’s not like they’ve known each other since they were teenagers or anything oh WAIT
sha shan and mary jane and harry--not one of them showed up after flash became agent venom, barring perhaps some small scene i am not remembering. betty was only important because of their romantic ties and once that ended she was gone until they made up YEARS later, not long before flash was unceremoniously killed off. bunn and space knight finally brought in numerous recurring female characters again thru andi and katy and the whole space knight crew which--thank god--but god
i like agent venom, i really do, there are some solid comics in it, but i disagree that it made flash into anything he hadn’t already been before
totally unrelated but the more spidey comics i read the more i appreciate how the ASM movie had flash playing basketball specifically
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thecassadilla · 3 years
Text
Change of Pace - Chapter 4
Pairing: Kristanna
Chapter 4 on AO3
Read from Chapter 1 on AO3
Word Count: 4,779
Summary: With her sister’s blessing, Anna takes a step back from her royal duties and finds herself working for a ski resort nestled in the mountains. A chance encounter with the resort’s maintenance technician leads them down an unexpected path, as they must work together to plan the resort’s annual ball - and maybe fall in love in the process.
Author’s Note: Hi everyone! I just wanted to say thank you to everyone who's been reading it so far!!! It really means so, so much to me. Hanukkah is this week, so Happy Hanukkah to those of you that celebrate!!!  And once again I apologize for all of the asterisks - tumblr removes posts with “bad language” from the tags. Uncensored version is on AO3! I hope you enjoy this chapter!!!
There was a part of him that felt like a complete a*shole for taking the brunt of his anger out on Anna, watching as she curled into herself and attempted to placate him before he stomped away. The other part of him was too busy seeing red to care - the situation may not have been directly her fault, but it was one that could’ve been avoided altogether. He knew that helping her was a bad idea from the start, but he foolishly did it anyway. Even Andrew was shocked when he initially asked if he could leave for a bit.
“Hey man,” he said. “Do you mind if I step away for a few minutes?”
“What’s going on?” Andrew asked.
“I have to take someone somewhere.”
The other man furrowed his eyebrows. “I’m confused.”
Kristoff sighed. “I have to take the lady from the event office to the abandoned building right off the C Ski Lift. So she could scope it out for her party.”
“Is she pretty?”
“Is that relevant?”
“Go for it, man,” Andrew said, a knowing look plastered across his face.
Frankly, it was a bit humiliating; Andrew wasn’t the type to tease or make a fuss out of things like that. But in hindsight, Kristoff, himself, wasn’t the type to jump in and save the day for a stranger while he was on the clock.
And it had gone really well - at first. Sure, she’d said a few things that had indirectly insulted him and he’d been a little sharp with her, but it was abundantly clear that she meant no harm. Other than that, she was immensely grateful for his help - going as far as calling him a hero and rewarding him with a hug. Truth be told, he was looking forward to getting away from her as quickly as possible. Despite the fact that she was pretty and sweet, she was also the absolute last thing he needed in his life. His life was already pathetic and sad, and there was absolutely no reason to even attempt to get to know her when she’d inevitably leave just like everyone else did.
And then she enthusiastically told Bonnie that he had a hand in finding the new venue and his life changed in the blink of an eye. Not only would he have to step away from the job that he so desperately needed to be present for, but he’d also have to spend forty hours a week with her for months. And he was certain that it wasn’t the type of job where they could just sit around and mind their own business - he’d done a repair in the event office a few years prior and it was nothing but constant chatting the entire time he was there.
By the time he marched back into the ballroom that afternoon, a couple of his other coworkers had made it in and Andrew was giving them a rundown of what had happened and what the game plan was. Upon noticing that he returned, though, Andrew decided to stop what he was doing and inquire about his excursion.
“Hey, how did it go with your event planning girl?”
And at that point, despite the blazing inferno of anger inside of him, he couldn’t help but laugh at the absurdity of the situation. “Horrible. Absolutely horrible.”
Andrew chuckled nervously. “What happened? She turned you down?”
“Nope, I wasn’t even planning on asking her out,” he answered. “But I don’t work here anymore. Starting Monday, I report to the event planning office as her assistant.”
Andrew’s face fell. “Wait, what?”
“She told Bonnie that I helped her find the place and Bonnie decided to reward me for my good deed by shipping me upstairs.”
“Dude, we need you here. Do you see the state of this room?”
Kristoff shrugged. “I tried to tell that to Bonnie, but she didn’t care.”
“I’m going to talk to her,” Andrew insisted. “There’s not a chance in hell that we’re losing you so you could go sit in an office and plan a party.”
“Please,” he practically begged. “I really don’t want to be pulled away from this.”
Andrew nodded. “I’ll do whatever I can.”
But just as he expected, Andrew wasn’t able to get very far with Bonnie. She emphasized that he was needed in the event planning office, and that if the maintenance team needed extra hands, they could hire temporary employees - which was a*s backwards, if you asked him. It was totally illogical to hire several temps, when she only had to hire one assistant event planner, but he chalked it up to the fact that Andrew would be responsible for hiring the temps, not her.
So, he made a decision. He’d go in and begrudgingly do whatever they asked him to in the meantime - but he wasn’t going to make any promises. If another job popped up elsewhere and he was offered the position, he was going to take it without a second thought. Event planning office and Valley Ski Resort, be damned.
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On Monday morning, Anna woke up before her alarm and laid in bed for what felt like an eternity, staring at the ceiling and trying to calm her racing heart. When her alarm finally went off, she crawled out of bed and started her day, meticulously applying her makeup and choosing nice clothes in an effort to create a better second impression. For the first time in two months, she was absolutely dreading going to work - a feeling that she hoped would pass with time, since she actually liked her job.
“Good morning,” she called upon entering the office, relieved to see that only Holly was there and Kristoff had not yet arrived.
“Morning, Anna,” Holly responded.
“How are you?”
“I’m okay. How about you?”
“Could be better.”
“I’m sorry,” Holly frowned. “Is it because of the new guy?”
“Yeah.” Anna closed her eyes and exhaled through her nose. “I’m not looking forward to today. I actually feel a little sick to my stomach.”
“You do look a little green. I have an antacid if you want it.”
She shook her head. “No, it won’t do anything. I’m just anxious because I feel like I ruined someone’s life.”
“You didn’t do anything wrong, Anna. You can’t blame yourself.”
“Not only am I blaming myself, he’s blaming me too. He said as much.”
“He should be blaming Bonnie.”
“I know,” she sighed. “I feel really bad, though.”
“I know. But you have to remember that you were trying to do the right thing. There’s nothing wrong with that,” Holly assured her.
“Thanks, Holly.”
“And I may have some good news for you.”
Anna raised her eyebrows. “You do?”
“So, I know you said that you weren’t interested, but my husband and I went to dinner with a few of his work friends over the weekend and there’s this one guy who is, like, super single. I started talking about you, of course, and I showed him a picture of you, and he’s very interested in going on a date with you - if you want to, of course.”
“Really?”
Holly nodded. “Oh, yes. His name is Darren. He thinks you’re beautiful and I was telling him how you’re sweet and friendly, but kind of down on your luck right now for reasons I didn’t want to discuss, ahem.”
She smiled. “And?”
“He asked for your number. I didn’t give it to him because I wanted to check in and make sure that you were okay with it first - you know, because you specifically said that you didn’t want to be set up on a blind date - but I can send it to him right now if you want me to.”
“Sure,” Anna agreed with a nervous giggle. “You can give him my number.”
“Yes!” Holly cheered, pumping her fist in the air. “I was beyond convinced that you were going to say ‘no.’”
She shrugged. “It’s not like I have anything to lose.”
“That’s the spirit! You deserve to have a little fun! Don’t let a new job and a rude maintenance man get you down.”
As if on cue, the door to the office opened and both women turned toward it as Kristoff walked in.
“Hi,” Holly said before clearing her throat and standing up. “Kristoff, right?”
“Yup,” he answered shortly.
“I’m Holly Williams. I never had the chance to properly introduce myself last week.” She offered him her hand and he accepted, shaking for a moment. “And I’m sure you remember Anna.”
Anna gulped before squeaking out a simple greeting. “Hi.”
He didn’t bother to answer or even look in her direction.
“You can hang your coat up on the rack over there and then I’ll show you to your desk,” Holly said. They both watched as he shrugged out of his coat and hung it up before Holly led him to the desk at the back of the room that once belonged to Jenny. She pointed to a post-it note that was stuck to the border of the computer screen. “This is the login information for the computer, and I’m going to have an email account set up for you by the end of the day.”
“Thanks.”
“I’m sure you have some questions about what exactly your role is going to be.”
Anna glanced over, trying to gauge his mood and how he was reacting to all of this. Instead of answering Holly, he kept his eyes cast downward.
“So,” Holly started, once she’d come to the realization that he wasn’t going to answer. “You’ll be the assistant event planner. Um, basically you’ll be helping Anna host the rest of the events for the season, since the events have mostly been planned in advance. The primary event you’ll have to focus on is our annual ball -”
“I know about the party,” he said, cutting her off mid-sentence.
“Of course.” Holly clapped her hands together. “I heard that you were an integral part of finding our new venue.”
“Yup.”
“So, Anna is actually working on finalizing the guest list today, and the invitations have to be mailed out later this week. We’re expecting to have around five hundred invitations to send out, and you’ll be responsible for helping her with assembling the envelopes for mailing.”
“Okay.”
“Aside from that, you and Anna are going to have to work together on the rest of the planning. She’ll be able to explain what that entails. Oh, and I ordered new tables and chairs since all of the furniture in the ballroom was destroyed. The first few are going to be delivered this week, so you’ll have to make sure that they arrive at the new venue.”
“Okay.”
“Let me get you one of our event calendars,” Holly said, walking away from his desk and back to hers. “So you have an idea of what’s happening over the course of the next few months.”
Anna’s eyes trailed her silently as she made her way across the room and back. Holly handed him the paper and his eyes scanned the page.
“Do I have to be at all of these events?” Kristoff asked incredulously.
“Typically, yes,” Holly answered. “Unless you have some kind of prior obligation.”
He scoffed, tossing the paper onto the desk and shaking his head in disbelief. The two women exchanged a worried glance.
Holly cleared her throat. “I know this is probably going to be a bit of an adjustment for you, but it’ll only be for the next couple of months. So until April -”
“April?! I’ll be here until April?!”
“According to the email that Bonnie sent me, yes.”
“I thought I was supposed to stick around for the party and then go back to my regular job.”
“Well, Anna will be leaving in April so that’ll give Bonnie a considerable amount of time to fill both positions.”
“And hypothetically, if Bonnie isn’t able to fill those positions - what will happen to me? Will I just be stuck here?”
“I don’t know,” Holly answered with a sigh. “You’ll have to talk to Bonnie about that. But I understand that this has to be an incredibly difficult situation for you.”
He narrowed his eyes. “You could say that again.”
“How about you tell us a little bit about yourself? And then Anna and I will talk about ourselves.”
“I live here, I work here - there isn’t really much to it.”
Holly smiled. “Oh, did you grow up here?”
“Yup.”
“I did too! Did you go to Valley High School?”
“That’s the only high school here,” he muttered.
“When did you graduate? I graduated in oh-eight.”
“Fifteen.”
“Ooh, my husband started working there the year before. But he teaches freshmen, so you wouldn’t have had him.”
He smiled dryly. “Nice.”
“Anna, when did you graduate?” Holly asked, clearly trying to bring her into the conversation.
“Seventeen.”
“You’re the only one who was lucky enough to escape the woes of Valley High School.”
“That’s true,” she nodded. “I was homeschooled.”
“Lucky you,” he scoffed. “Valley sucks.”
Holly clicked her tongue. “It isn’t that bad.”
He rolled his eyes. “Speak for yourself.”
“It’s a small town high school, everyone knows everyone and there’s a lot of gossip,” Holly explained to Anna. “The stuff you go through there kind of follows you through life.”
“That’s unfortunate,” she remarked.
“One of my friends got pregnant junior year - her family literally had to move away because the whole town knew within a week and they wouldn't stop talking about them.”
She furrowed her eyebrows. “So why do people stay?”
“Small town charm, friendly neighbors, more relaxed than a big city.”
“Or because they don’t have a choice,” Kristoff chimed in.
“That too,” Holly agreed. “Before the resort expanded, tourists only visited during the skiing season. This town relies on the revenue that tourists bring in order to stay afloat. I think there was a collective sigh of relief when we became a year-round tourist trap.”
Anna nodded sympathetically. “That’s good, at least -”
Holly’s phone rang then, interrupting the conversation. “Excuse me,” she said, strolling over to her desk.
Kristoff sighed. “So what am I supposed to be doing right now?”
“If you want, you can start stuffing the invitations into the envelopes,” Anna offered. “And once I finish the guest list, we can start sticking the addresses on.”
“Fine,” he agreed.
She took the box of invitations out from her desk drawer, walked them over to him and set the box on his desk. “Don’t worry about sealing them. We’ll do that another day.”
By the time she made it back to her desk, he was already looking at the invitations. “You realize that the wrong location is printed on these, right?”
“What?”
“The location is wrong,” he said, holding one up. “It says that the party is in the ballroom, not the new venue.”
“Oh god, I forgot about that,” she blurted, jumping up and grabbing the invitation from his hands. “No, no, no...”
“Now what?”
“I don’t know,” she confessed, biting her lip and glancing over at Holly, who was still on the phone. “It took a few weeks for these to get shipped to us, and I don’t know if we have enough time to order new ones and ship them out with enough time for the guests to respond. I don’t know what to do.”
“Great,” he huffed. “You really run a well-oiled machine around here.”
“Excuse me?”
“Well, you just said you don’t know what you’re doing, didn’t you?”
“You seem to forget that a pipe burst and destroyed the ballroom on your watch on Friday,” she pointed out defensively. “It’s Monday.”
He narrowed his eyes. “Are you blaming me for a burst pipe?”
She crossed her arms over her chest. “Only if you’re blaming me for invitations that were printed before the pipe burst.”
“Look, all I’m saying is that if you’d have caught this three days ago, maybe you could’ve ordered new invitations.”
“You do realize that a lot of businesses are closed on weekends? That it probably wouldn’t have made a significant difference? Besides, we may not have the time to order new invitations and we may have to send these as-is. That’s my point.”
“The point is that you still don’t know what you’re doing.”
“And what would’ve happened if the pipe burst the day before the party? Hmm?”
“Why are you acting like I should know the answer to this?” he argued. “This is not my department. I’m only here because you couldn’t keep your mouth shut.”
She felt her jaw tense. “You know that’s not my fault.”
“Woah, what is happening?” Holly interjected loudly.
“The invitations have the wrong location on them and it’s my fault for not immediately catching it and ordering new ones after the pipe burst on Friday,” Anna explained, her blood practically boiling. “Oh, and I don’t know what I’m doing because I’m too busy running my mouth. Not because of the wrench in our plans, but because I talk too much.”
“I didn’t say that,” he hissed.
“Yes you did! When you blamed me, yet again, for something that Bonnie did. I didn’t ask for you to come work with us.”
“You’re the one that told her that I found the venue!”
“You did find it and I was trying to be nice,” she growled. “Something that you seem to be incapable of.”
��Don’t forget that you just blamed me for a burst pipe. What should I have done? Put some duct tape over it?”
“You know, this could’ve gone so differently if you had kept your mouth closed on Friday. You’re the one who told me about the new venue, remember?”
“Okay, enough,” Holly stated firmly. “Kristoff - it is not Anna’s fault that you got transferred here, and the situation with the invitations is not her fault, either. Anna - it’s not Kristoff’s fault that the pipe burst and we’re happy that he found a new venue for us. I already have one baby at home and I’m not interested in coming to work and taking care of two more. This is an office, not a boxing ring or a debate stage.”
The silence that came after Holly spoke was deafening; the only noise in the entire room was the sound of their collective breathing and the heaters running.
When things had cooled off slightly, Holly piped up again. “Now here’s what’s going to happen - we’re going to send out the invitations as-is, but we’re going to stuff the envelopes with information about the location change. On the day of, we’ll put signs out all over the lobby and we’ll have someone wait by the ballroom to direct people to the new venue - I’ll do it myself if I have to.”
“That’s a good idea,” Anna agreed, exhaling with relief.
“The deadline to RSVP is by mid-January, and the invitations take three weeks to order so we can’t order new ones. We wouldn’t be giving the guests enough time to get back to us.”
“Told you,” Anna gloated, smiling smugly in Kristoff’s direction.
He crossed his arms and leaned back in his chair, but didn’t argue back. After a moment of sulking, he sat up and started on the task in front of him.
The rest of the day passed without incident and with minimal noise. Anna and Holly repeatedly exchanged glances with each other and tried to avoid talking like they would’ve on a normal day, though there were a few slips - specifically when Darren texted her to introduce himself.
“Look who texted me,” Anna said, pushing her chair over to Holly’s desk with her feet and holding out her phone.
Holly squinted at the device before squealing. “That’s so exciting! You’d better say ‘yes’ when he asks you out.”
“I’m going to,” she giggled. “Obviously.”
“This is really so great,” Holly smiled. “I’m so happy for you.”
On her way back to her desk, she noticed that Kristoff was looking in her direction through the corners of his eyes but she did her best to pretend like she didn’t see it and went about the rest of her day.
“It’s five,” Kristoff spoke up finally, after literal hours of silence. “Can I go now?”
“Of course,” Holly nodded. “Let me walk you to the elevator.”
He looked less than thrilled at the idea, but nevertheless, grabbed his coat and held the door open for Holly to follow behind him without uttering a goodbye. Anna eagerly awaited Holly’s return, knowing that she’d finally be able to talk freely now that he was gone.
She barely waited for Holly to close the door behind her before asking, “Did you say something to him?”
“I told him that he needs to stop being a d*ck or he’ll be out of a job,” Holly answered matter-of-factly. “We don’t have time for arguments.”
She cringed. “I know, I’m sorry.”
“To be clear, I’m not blaming you for what happened earlier. I told him that we understand that he’s angry, but he’s stuck with us whether he likes it or not. Picking fights with you isn’t going to solve any of that.”
“I don’t want to fight with him,” she confessed. “I don’t want to fight with anyone.”
“I know.”
“I don’t know if I can work with someone who hates me. It was so easy to get along with you and Jenny.”
“Oh, honey, I really don’t think he hates you.”
“Did you forget the part where he ignored me, then got into an argument with me, then didn’t speak for the rest of the day?”
“I think he’s angry and conflicted, but I don’t think he hates you. If he hated you, he wouldn’t have shown up today.”
“He doesn’t have a choice about not showing up - he needs a job.”
“My point is that I don’t think you’re the problem here. Just a few days ago he was willing to help you for no reason. If his first impression of you was that bad, he wouldn’t have done that.”
Anna rolled her eyes. “He didn’t know me then and I practically had to beg him to help me.”
“He still doesn’t know you, technically,” Holly pointed out. “You’ve only spent eight hours together and most of it was in silence.”
“Yeah, but he knows that I ruined his life and that’s a great reason to hate someone.”
“He’ll come around. You’re a very likeable person.”
“I doubt it,” Anna mumbled.
“Keep your chin up,” Holly said. “Everything is going to be fine. We have a new venue, the problem with the invitations was caught with time to spare, and you’re going on a date with Darren. By the end of this week, you may be the happiest girl on the planet.”
She exhaled. “You’re right. Everything is going to be fine.”
“See? You just have to stay positive. Now let’s wrap things up, it’s been a long day,” Holly directed, scribbling down some information on a post-it note. “Oh, and don’t forget that tomorrow’s Tuesday. It’s just going to be you and Kristoff all day.”
And just like that, the tiny bit of hope that had started to brew inside of her popped like a bubble pressed up against a thorn.
Of course, the following morning started off less than smoothly. Her alarm didn’t go off, so she woke up late and got a late start to the day, which meant she’d have to forego looking halfway decent in order to make it in on time - no makeup and a messy bun, it was. She ran around her cabin, gathering her belongings and trying to make sure that she’d have everything she would need for the day before jetting off, hoping that it wasn’t some sort of bad omen.
By the time she actually made it to work, Kristoff was leaning up against the wall outside of the office, his arms crossed over his chest and a pinched expression on his face.
“I’m sorry for keeping you waiting,” she said breathlessly, as she fumbled through her purse for the keys to the office. “I’m usually early.”
“It’s okay.”
He didn’t really seem to care, but she continued to explain herself nonetheless. “Holly doesn’t work on Tuesdays or Thursdays, and this is my first time here without her or Jenny. I’ve never had to use my keys before.”
“Oh.”
She finally managed to find the keys in her mess of a bag, promptly unlocked the door and pushed it open before stepping aside and holding out her arm. “After you.”
“Thanks,” he said skeptically, walking into the dark office.
Anna flipped the lights on before closing the door behind her. “Holly left a note on your desk with your email and temporary password. You can log on and change the password and we’ll cc you in our emails.”
“Okay.”
“I’m going to run downstairs and grab a cup of coffee,” she said, deciding to be nice at the last possible second. “Do you want anything?”
Her offer actually invoked a reaction from him for the first time that day - he definitely seemed a bit startled by it. “Um...no thanks.”
“Alright. I’ll be right back.”
She made a mad dash for the coffee shop on the first floor, grateful that there was no line. The last thing she needed was to look like she was intentionally trying to avoid him or slacking or doing some other negative thing that he could run to Bonnie with in an attempt to get her into trouble. As soon as the cup was in her hands, she returned to the office, where Kristoff seemed to be patiently waiting for further instruction.
She cleared her throat and set the cup down on her desk. “So, you finished stuffing all of the envelopes yesterday, right?”
“Yeah.”
“Okay, Holly had the location cards printed out overnight,” she said, grabbing the large stack of papers from the printer. “You’ll just have to cut them into the appropriate size and then stuff them into the envelopes.”
“I have to cut all of these by hand?” he whined, his face falling.
“We have a g*illotine,” she assured him, trying to remain calm. “It’ll make the process a lot easier.”
“You have a what?”
His reaction made her giggle. “Oh, sorry. Holly and I call it a g*illotine. I don’t know what the actual name of it is, but it’s basically an industrial paper cutter. I’ll get it for you.”
The g*illotine was stored in the closet, so she walked over and retrieved the heavy tool, staying weary of the bl*de. She placed it on his desk with a thud.
“Now I see why you call it a g*illotine.”
“Right?! Okay, so you may have to stand up to do this - I know I do,” she said, picking up a few of the papers. When he stood up, she demonstrated. “So basically, you slide the paper under the little guard and then you line it up with the grid to make sure it’s straight. Then, you just pull the bl*de down and voila, you have a bunch of cut up papers with minimal effort.”
“Seems easy enough.”
“Just make sure that you hold the paper against the grid while you’re cutting or they’ll come out crooked. And be careful - we can always print out more of the location cards, but we can’t replace your fingers so easily.”
He let out an amused snort. “Okay.”
She smiled to herself as she sat down at her desk, grateful that it seemed to be going much better than the previous day; they were getting along for the time being and there was no hostility or tension. They both worked quietly, and though Anna missed the constant chatting like when Holly was around, she had no idea what she could possibly talk to Kristoff about. So, the sound of the bl*de scraping against the side of the g*illotine and her typing were the primary sounds that filled the otherwise silent space.
The day went by at a snail pace, but when five o’clock finally came and they’d managed to survive the day without an argument, she admittedly felt quite triumphant. She looked forward to updating Holly about how the day had gone, especially since Holly had insisted that she stay positive.
“Have a nice day,” she said, as he was pulling on his coat. “See you tomorrow.”
“You too,” he replied, offering her a half-smile.
I can do this, she thought to herself as she watched him leave. If it stays like this for the next five months, I can do this.
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