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#fr Fr I just need to drink some water
bigtreefest · 19 days
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*looks at period tracker app*
“Ahhhh, it was the ovulation horny!”
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kimmkitsuragi · 11 months
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playing disco elysium finally and uh. tell me the game takes a turn towards a dating sim and i can romance kim kitsuragi
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nomaishuttle · 10 months
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i think my solution 4 the streak system issue btw is to cap it at 3 and if im able to keep it up for 4 weeks then itll go up to the easier difficulty ykwim.. so its worth less. so like if im able to meet the goal for my Single red task (which is outside time) 4 weeks in a row itd move down to a yellow task.. and the streak would reset and once i get it 2 4 again it goes to a green then to blue and etc.
#but im also hrmmmmm... bc ideally some of these things will judt become second nature thats the whole point#but where theyre also to determine my free spending money.. do u guys see the predicament here#ideally id just be able to come up eith new goals to add as i complete all of these and they become second nature... so ill have 2#keep that in mind.. ive been considering once ummmm ummm once my umm. oh i could add laundry thatd be a rly good one since i need 2 make#ure 2 be doing my laundry consistently. okie#bc i think ill do my laundry sundays... since saturday is my day out yk.#and the weekdays where i work until 3 theres no time to dry clothes in the evening#oh but anyways. i was thinking once i finish school Which i will . fucking eventually fuck you physics i hate you i hate you i hate you.#i might replace the school task with reading since thats somrthing i want 2 get into... ive also thought abt maybe just adding likeeee#just a hobby task... thats kind of general but itd be like. when i finally get into sewing and whenever i draw etc. and if i cook more...#see cookings a hard one bc ig its kind of included eith eating well but also eating well is so vague i kinda just need 2 likee. change that#i ALSO want 2 start working on drinking more water.. and exercising Eventually. rn exercising is semi included in outside time since#outside time is just Leave the house and not for worm#aork#not even like fr leave the house bc if i sit on the porch that counts.. just gotta get out sometimes yk.#but yas and of course another way i can keep it in check is t judt up the weekly goal..
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mikkouille · 2 years
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sorry for being so unique and special but I just cannot understand the vein craze. people's blood is flowing largely ok.
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marlenesluv · 5 months
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lando + babysitting his drunk girlfriend
note: i love this sm. as someone that is usually the one babysitting my friends, this would melt my heart if someone did that for me fr, and lando would 100% be the one. also feel free to send headcannon ideas! :)
type: headcannon
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۵ about every few weeks or so, you went out with the other wags to go clubbing without your boyfriends. yes, you loved your boyfriends, but they loomed and interfered quite a bit.
۵ so going out as a group was easier, not to mention that you all wanted to gossip.
۵ you told lando you were going with charlotte, isa, lily, carmen, kika, kelly, and laila. which was a bigger group than normal. usually it was just you, charlotte, isa, and kika, but everyone else was free!
۵ like always, you sent lando the location of the club, and turning on live location as well, just in case.
۵ while you were out with your girls, getting absolutely shitfaced, lando was at home watching friends reruns to try to ease his mind.
۵ lando knew you needed to go out with your friends without him, and he was fine with that, he just wanted you to be safe, and when you’re drunk?… you never know.
۵ after about five shots and four martinis, you knew you were drunk, too drunk to drive, and so was everyone else.
۵ at around 3am, kika called pierre and he came and picked her up, along with charlotte since he had been hanging out with charles.
۵ at 3:30am, lily threw up once in the bathroom as you called alex, “hey! alexxxx!!!!” you spoke, holding lilys hair back for her.
۵ alex knew from your voice that you were calling because lily was too drunk to uber, he didn’t think that was safe. so he came and got her.
۵ kelly and laila left before at 1:30am, claiming they had work in the morning. so all that remained was you, isa, and carmen.
۵ lando had been pacing around the living room as oscar loaded up another game of call of duty, trying to get landos mind to ease up.
۵ finally, lando just left oscar at his house, grabbing his keys, a hoodie for you, some comfy uggs, and driving to the club to get you.
۵ after about twenty minutes of him resisting your attempts to get him to stay and drink, you were sat in the passenger seat of his mclaren as he drove home, his hoodie on you and your uggs now on, a nice change from the four inch heels you had on.
۵ oscar had left earlier, knowing that lando would just want to be alone with you and take care of you.
۵ when you arrived to the house, lando opened your door for you, helping you to the front door and taking you shoes off for you and helping you sit down on the couch.
۵ at first, you’re very drunk, slurring words and giggling, but once you calm down, you’re just tired, and you want your boyfriend.
۵ constant sweet guidance:
۵ “sit down, sweetheart. i’ll get you a water.”
۵ “take these advil for me, hm? can you do that? there you go, thank you, love.” and gives you a little forehead kiss as he goes and makes you toast.
۵ and when you need to throw up, lando is pattering his feet right behind you on the way to the bathroom.
۵ he holds your hair back in a make-shift ponytail, rubbing your back and whispering to you to try and soothe you.
۵ after that, he gets you more advil and puts it by the bed in case you need some when you wake up, as well as new ice water in your water bottle.
۵ he makes sure that you eat, even if it’s just dry cereal or some cheese cubes. the last thing he wants is you with an empty stomach and having the potential of being sick again :(
۵ when he crawls into bed, he turns your favorite show on as you cuddle into his side, playing with his hoodie strings as his hands comb through your hair.
۵ “how are you feeling, pretty girl?” lando would ask, looking down at you as you shrug, “m’ok. thank you for taking care of me lan.”
۵ lando would smile, “i love taking care of you, now let’s go to sleep. wake me up if you need anything, okay?” you nod
۵ ‘i love you’s are exchanged as you both fall asleep.
۵ all and all, lando is the most sweet, endearing, and protective bf, especially when you’re drunk. he just wants you to be safe, and make sure you are comfortable.
.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.
(reposts, comments, and likes are appreciated!^-^)
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lovelyjj · 6 months
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hey there! I was wondering if you could do one where reader is John B's sister and he knows that JJ and her have a thing for each other but he won't allow it. Then something happens where she needs comforted and JJ gets to her first and John B realizes that JJ does really love her..? or something idk 😍💕
John B’s Sister
jj maybank x reader
wc: 2.6k
*some bits of dialogue is from season 1: episode 1*
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The music was blasting. The party was in full swing at the boneyard. You were at the center dancing your heart out. JJ was watching you longingly. John B was right next to him overseeing JJ’s actions.
“Don’t even think about it,” John B warned.
“Think about what?” JJ questioned.
“Dancing with Y/N.”
“Wouldn’t dream of it mate,” JJ retorted.
“Right.”
“I’m gonna get another drink,” JJ shared.
When JJ went to the drink area he ran into you. You were getting yourself a drink and taking a break from dancing. You were all sweaty but JJ thought you looked ethereal.
“Here let me,” JJ filled your cup up with beer and handed it to you. Your fingers brushed against each other’s when he handed you the cup. You felt sparks shoot through you at the contact.
“Thanks,” you smiled.
“You look really pretty,” JJ commented.
“You think so?”
“Yeah I do,” JJ smiled.
“Thank you.”
“I’d ask you to dance but John B would have a cow,” JJ laughed.
“Aw screw him!” you voiced.
“Are we really gonna let John B become between us?” JJ spoke.
“He’s my brother JJ, and I love him. He’s just trying to look out for me. I don’t want to make him mad,” you stated.
“Well he probably doesn’t like the idea of me with you, given my reputation.”
“Probably not.”
“I’d do anything for you I hope you know that. Your worth all this chaos, so damn worth it.” JJ spoke sincerely.
“You’ll wait for me?” you asked.
“Of course i’ll wait for you, I’d wait a hundred years just to see you smile, let alone date you.”
“I promise one day we will be together.” You smiled sadly.
“Can’t wait,” JJ then kissed you on the cheek.
You both got swept up in the party and went different directions. JJ went to where John B was and he soon began to think that was a bad idea.
“I saw you talking to y/n. You know she’s off limits right.” John B began.
“Jesus dude, I know you think I’m trying to get in her pants but I really do love her. Of course i’m not gonna act on it. I know the rules and I wouldn’t do that to you,” JJ confessed.
John B clapped JJ on the back, “Good on ya mate, I appreciate it.”
“Yeah yeah yeah.”
The party eventually died down around 2am. It was dark and the keg was practically empty. You retired pretty late and crashed in your room. Unbeknownst to you JJ was also crashing at your place.
When you woke up the next morning you could feel the hangover. You made your way to the kitchen for an Advil and some water. You didn’t expect to see JJ sitting on the couch.
“Good morning,” JJ spoke.
“Morning, my head is pounding,” you acknowledged.
“I’m sorry wish I could help.” JJ responded.
“It’s not your fault.”
“Yeah but I could of told you to take it easy on the drinks.” JJ countered.
You laughed. You weren’t sure if you would’ve listened to him if he told you that, but he didn’t need to know that.
“It’s ok things happen.”
“Do you want to hang out with me?” JJ asked.
“Um yeah sure I have to go to the grocery store at one point but other than that Im free,” You explained.
“Alright let’s go.”
The grocery store wasn’t that busy and you were thankful it wasn’t.
“What do you need?” JJ questioned.
“Well, I need cereal, butter, fruit, bread, cheese, chicken, and beer.”
“That’s not too bad we should be in and out of here pretty quick,” JJ responded.
The two of you went up and down each and every aisle. You used teamwork to complete the list.
“Just think one day when we live together we will do our grocery shopping together for our apartment,” JJ said excitedly.
“Yeah that would be fun.”
JJ put his hands on your waist to scoot behind you and reach something on the top shelf. You felt dizzy from the proximity and the feeling of his hands on you.
JJ put the item in your cart and continued looking for more.
“Hey after this do you want to hit the beach?” you asked him.
“Yeah sounds good.”
Eventually you finished up at the store and got everything you needed. You went to the château to change and out the groceries away. Then you were off to the beach.
When you arrived you decided to lay out your towels and lay on the sand. It was nice to hang out just the two of you. John B was probably off with Sarah and therefore not supervising you and JJ.
“This is nice,” JJ voiced.
“Yeah it is,” you laid your head on his shoulder. JJ’s arm came up to wrap around your waist to pull you closer.
The two of you talked for hours on the beach enjoying each other’s company.
————————
A few weeks later you were out on the boat. It was a nice day for boating. You and the pogues were out on the marsh exploring the sunken boat.
The salty air flowed through your hair as you sat in your bikini top and shorts. The smell of the ocean brought you a sense of peace, being out on the water was therapeutic.
Of course you were interested in the shipwreck but you loved being on the water. John B went to dive under using the scuba gear from Ward. Then the cops came while he was still down there.
Once they finally left we were all anxious about John B. Was he ok? He ran out of air that’s for sure. Thankfully John B emerged from the water and seemed to be alright.
“There his is!” JJ exclaimed.
“Oh, God! Jesus Christ!”
“Thank god,” you breathed.
“Don’t scare us like that!” Pope said.
“How’d it go down there?” JJ asked.
John B put up the ok sign.
“Did you find anything?” JJ questioned.
“Did I find anything?” John B breathed.
He brought up a black duffel bag.
“Yeah, there we go! That’s my boy!” JJ excitedly called out.
“Jeez dude!” Pope gasped.
“You okay?” Kie voiced her concern.
“Yeah, I ran out of air,” John B panted.
“You sacred the shit out me.” Kiara expressed.
“Yeah same here,” you stated.
“Yeah, the cops were up here, but, uh… took care of ‘em.” Pope went on.
“My Bad.” John B announced.
“You’re all good.” Pope replied.
“Yeah, you kinda missed the show, brother.” JJ stepped in to say.
“Hey guys? Guys, bogey, two o’clock.” Kiara announced.
“What?” JJ spoke.
“Do you recognize that boat?” Pope asked.
“I’ve never seen it,” Kiara responded.
“What are they doing here? The marsh is closed,” Kiara went on.
“I don’t know but let’s not stick around and find out.” JJ suggested.
“I think their coming right for us.” You voiced your opinion.
“JJ get the bowline.” John B ordered.
“Yeah.”
“Should we wait on ‘em?” Pope offered.
“No, we’re not.” Your brother spoke.
“Go get the stern. Go!” John B ordered.
“Are you joking? JJ, hurry up.” Kiara hissed.
“Guys, don’t wait for me. Go.” JJ said urgently.
Kiara requested, “Let’s go!”
“Pull out the stern.” Pope warned.
“I don’t like the look of this,” John B put out.
“I don’t either,” you spoke.
“Maybe they’re fishing,” Pope suggested.
“Go, go, go, go!” JJ ordered.
“Go into the marsh,” Pope said.
“Hey, guys, they’re following us.” Kiara shared.
“This can’t be good,” Pope voiced.
“Shit!” John B exclaimed.
“Oh no,” you shouted.
“Dude, you gotta go faster!” JJ put out.
“I’m going.”
As the boat with the two big men on it chased you and the pogues further into the marsh, you looked behind you realizing that they were getting closer.
“John B,” you cried.
“I know Y/N.”
Then to your surprise you herd gunshots.
“What the…” Pope began.
“Holy shit!” Kiara cursed.
“John B, get down,” JJ yelled.
They continue shooting at you guys.
“Oh my god we’re gonna die!” Pope shouted.
“Y/N! Get down” John B called.
You were starting to have a panic attack and you didn’t know what to do. You were trying to stay down but we’re having trouble catching your breath. You must of not been hidden enough because you felt a sharp pain in your gut near your hip.
You looked down and saw crimson blood painting the area. Now this is where you really started to panic. Everyone was cheering because Kiara threw out a net to stop the boat and it worked. They couldn’t move, they were stuck and they were no longer right behind you. They did however fired one last shot.
Your heart was pounding and you were shaking. You were full on panicking. Your chest felt tight and you could feel yourself getting dizzy.
Everyone was still cheering when you whispered, “I’ve been shot.”
“What did you say?” JJ questioned.
“I’m shot.”
“Holy fuck.” JJ roared.
“JJ,” you called for him reaching out you hand. Your breathing was ragged. The scene before you was starting to blur.
“Oh my god. Oh my god.” JJ blubbered. JJ was shocked he didn’t know what to do but he did know that his girl was in distress. He needed to be there for you.
He took your hand in his hand and cradled your head. “Breathe baby, I’m right here.”
John B who was watching the interaction intensely, took off his bandana and gave it to JJ. He was at a loss for words.
JJ took the bandana and placed it over the wound, and applied pressure. You let out a whimper.
“We got to stop the bleeding.” JJ said urgently.
“Pope take us to the hospital,” John B ordered as he let Pope get behind the wheel.
Pope did his best to smoothly get to shore.
JJ pulled you into his lap and put his hands over your hands to press the bandana on the wound.
“JJ i’m pan- panicking,” you mumbled.
“I know baby I know, I’ve gotchu.”
“Your gonna be ok. I know you are you have to be.” JJ went on.
JJ started stroking your hair with the one hand that wasn’t pressed to your side. He kissed the top of your head and whispered reassuring words.
John B started to call and ambulance for when you get to shore. “I need an ambulance for my sister, she’s been shot, if you can meet us at the dock.”
John B was watching how JJ was comforting you. He was being to gentle and caring. It looked like he was doing a good job at calming you down.
Eventually you got to shore and the ambulance was waiting. JJ and John B were on ether side of you helping you walk. You however seemed to hang off of them as you leaned on them for support.
“I can’t have all of you back here in the ambulance,” the EMT said.
“I want JJ with me,” you croaked out.
“We will meet you guys at the hospital,” Pope announced, him and kiara walking off to get to Kiara’s car.
John B and JJ hopped in the back of the ambulance as you got on the stretcher. The ride to the hospital was bumpy and your were screaming in pain.
JJ held you hand the whole ride to the hospital. You would squeeze his hand occasionally. John B watched how you stared at JJ like you needed him.
Once you finally arrived they rushed you into the hospital. the EMT spoke, “We got a female with a gunshot wound to the gut.”
“She needs to be in surgery right away,” one of the doctors called out.
As they wheeled you away, JJ and John B waited in the waiting room with their nerves at an all time high.
Pope and Kiara arrived and waited in the waiting room as well. John B was pacing back and forth. JJ sat in one of the chairs with his head lowered and his hat in his hands.
John B went to speak with JJ. “Do you think she’s gonna be ok?” he asked.
“Yeah she’s a fighter,” JJ replied whipping his eyes.
“You really love her don’t you?” John B asked.
“Yeah, I do,” JJ responded.
“I can see that now. I want to give you my blessing.”
“Really?”
“Yes. I can see that you both love one another more than anything.” John B shared.
“Thanks man I appreciate that,” JJ took hold of John B’s shoulder and gave it a squeeze.
JJ was on the edge of his seat he was worried for you. He didn’t know what he would do if something happened to you. You were the light of his whole life.
After what felt like a eternity, a doctor came out and calmly spoke, “The surgery went well she’s resting now. She needs to stay overnight for observation but she can take visitors but only one at a time.”
“Go ahead,” JJ nodded towards John B.
John B entered your hospital room to be met with your eyes closed. You woke up when you herd the sound of feet shuffling.
“Hi Bree Bree,” you spoke softly.
“Hey y/n/n, how you feeling.”
“Better,” you smiled.
“I’m glad.”
“Can you tell me when you fell in love with JJ?” John B questioned.
“How did you-“ you were shocked.
“Oh please, I can see it in your face when your around him and the “I want JJ with me.”
“Well it started out as a little schoolgirl crush and then I just fell for him and it consumed me.”
John B debated if he should tell you he gave the two of you the green light but figured JJ should do it. So instead he gave you a smile.
“I’m glad your ok y/n/n.”
“I’ll send JJ in.” John B finished the conversation.
“Bye Bree Bree.”
After a few moments JJ came strolling in. He was happy because he now could be with you. But of course he was worried about you and your recovery.
“My poor baby, how you feeling?” JJ cooed.
“I’m doing ok,” you responded.
“I’m so thankful you didn’t get shot in the heart or the head.” JJ breathed.
“Yeah I guess i’m lucky, it could of been a lot worse.”
“I have something to tell you, scooch over.” JJ got in bed beside you.
“What is it?”
“Your brother gave us his blessing!” JJ exclaimed.
“Are you serious?!” You looked at him in disbelief.
JJ nodded his head, and you squealed and wrapped your arms around his neck in a hug.
“Careful love,” JJ spoke cautious of your movements.
“I’m so happy,” you expressed.
JJ cupped your cheek with his ringed hand. He used his ringed thumb to stroke your cheek.
You were looking into his baby blue eyes when your gaze flickered to JJ’s lips.
JJ was looking at your lips when you finally closed the gap between you. The kiss was gentle and soft at first then grew more heated and frantic over time.
Your lips were locking together and you slid your hands into JJ’s hair. You pulled on the strands a little and he let out a groan causing you to melt. When the need for air became to strong you pulled away.
“Ya know I really do love you.” JJ explained nudging his nose with yours.
“Yes I do and I love you.
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a-hazbin-reader · 4 months
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Hi 👋🏽 I really like your stuff! I was wondering; could we possibly have some platonic headcanons for Husk where he has this unspoken kind of parent-kid relationship with the reader?
And the funny thing is that some of the others speculate that it’s no coincidence that the reader’s weirdly good at cards. Like, the reader doesn’t look exactly like him per say, but they bare enough of a resemblance to him that it has the other wondering is Husk could have possibly (unknowingly) had a kid while he was alive. No one knows. Not even us.
♦️ plz, and thank you ♥️
This is so fucking cute!!
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Husk X Reader Headcanons
❌️Romantic
✅️Platonic
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TW: Reader being a sad baby, Kidnapping, Underage drinking, Harassment, Reader needs help fr
Description: ☝️⬆️
Sure, technically you were an adult but you're also still just a kid
You thought you knew everything, you thought you were grown and didn't need to rely on anybody
You didn't need to open up to anybody, you grew up tough and went out like a badass
You weren't hurt or angry at the world at all
It's your attitude towards these things that makes Husk look out for you, keeping a watchful eye on you even when you don't want him to
You're trying to get a drink at a bar?? He's dragging you out and telling you that you're too young for that shit
Fucking hypocrite you drink all the time
You're getting into a fight with someone 10x your fucking size?? Husk is there to tackle them and take you home
Lectures you the entire way back if you're the one who started it
Some sleazy motherfucker is hitting on you?(Or even if it's not someone sleazy really) He's there to tell them to keep walking
Even if you don't want them to
BRO WTF
Even the others at the hotel slip up and call him your dad which just pisses you off even more
"Angel! Let me have a drink!!"
"No way, kid! Your pops would totally kill me if I let you get wasted!"
Definitely causes some arguments between you two, the kind that makes everyone else in the hotel scatter
"You're not in charge of me, Husk! Just leave me alone!!"
"You think you got it all figured out, don't you? Well you fucking don't! You're not the biggest baddest thing out there! Hell, you're not even the baddest thing in this hotel!"
Not Alastor giving you cheeky wave as he walks by
Once the fight reaches it's peak then you storm off, fed up with being treated like a child
"I don't need a father so just back off!"
Husk needs a drink
Fine, let's see how you like it when nobody is looking out for you
You and Husk don't speak for awhile after that but you're too stubborn to admit that you miss him
You begin to act out whether you realize it or not, wanting him to come and yell at you like he used to
It was actually nice having someone who cared enough about you to fight with you over your choices
So you take your newfound freedom and sneak into a club that you've been trying to get into for awhile
You meet some fun people and party with them, drinking every drink they slide your way, dancing with whoever grabbed you
After awhile though you begin to feel dizzy and sick, you desperately need some fresh air
And some water
"Hey where you going, squirt??? We're just getting started!!"
Hey let go-
Ow! That hurts! Why are you grabbing so hard!?
I said let go of me-
"What the fuck do you think you're doing?"
HUSK-
You nearly cry at the sight of him, fur bristling with anger, wings spread out, arms crossed
You break away and run to him immediately, hugging him tight and relaxing as he wraps a protective arm around you
You'll blame it on the alcohol later
"You okay, kid?"
You don't see how he never takes his eyes off your friends turned attackers
You just nod and hide your face in his chest, squeezing him tighter
"I wanna go home..."
Husk immediately softens up and carries you home, making sure nobody follows the two of you
He takes care of you the entire night and has a hangover remedy ready for you in the morning
No lecture from him this time, he just quietly takes care of you then leaves
Charlie and Vaggie will later tell you that he stayed with you the whole night, refusing to leave your side
You'll have to seek him out on your own once you feel better, sitting on a bar stool and clearing your throat
"I'm not going to fix you a drink so just forget it-"
"Thank you...for...you know..."
Husk visibly softens up once he registers your words, sighing as he sets his rag down
It takes all of his strength to power through his next words, looking embarrassed and uncomfortable
Telling you that he's not trying to baby you when he stops you from doing certain things, or when he tells you that you're too young
He's just trying to look out for you because he cares about you
And no matter how angry with him you get, he'll always come bail you out of trouble and you can always come to him with anything
Sure, he might not be your father but he's definitely your daddy
Wait fuck that came out wrong
DON'T YOU LAUGH AT HIM
It sounded cool in the movie!!
It's not that funny!! You are ruining the moment
Husk is so fucking embarrassed now, forget he said anything
Freezes up when you suddenly leap across the counter to hug his neck, squeezing him in a way that makes his heart melt
Hugs you back while awkwardly petting your head, feeling like his old heart is about to burst
"Thanks for everything, Husk~"
NO HE'S NOT CRYING
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I GOT VERY CARRIED AWAY WITH THIS I'M SORRY!! I hope you still enjoy it!!
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bluesidez · 13 days
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GymRat!Miguel Part 9.2 | full chapter without breaks on AO3
content warning: more fluff, more laughs, a little bit of insecurity from Miguel and reader, underage drinking (all of the characters are aged 18-20 so by USA standards, that's underaged. but college kids will be college kids. and so will high school graduates.), a mention of an edible like once, Hobie is here! (fr this time), Pavitr too, even more jealous Miguel, 18+ so MNDI, wet wet relations, fellatio, cunnilingus, Miguel is a munch (his fantasies are unraveling finally), cum play if you squint, partially public indecency???, I think that's it
word count: 9.3k, halfway proofread (I split it really weirdly so I apologize for that lol)
Some of the links used in this part are just to give you an idea of what's going on! Enjoy! 🩵
Prev (Part 9.1) | Next ✩°。 ⋆⸜ 🎧✮ Masterlist
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GymRat!Miguel who texts Tyler while you’re in the shower. 
Dad…Tyler:
“She really loved it. Thank you so much for helping me out with this, Dad.”
“Any time, son! I’m glad everything went well! I can have my people send over the video form of the animation if you would like.”
“Sure, I can have it on hand.”
“And I take it, you like the yacht?”
“It’s extremely nice! Captain Barrett is pretty cool.”
“Don’t tell him you said that or it’ll go to that funny mustache.”
“Ok 😭”
“I did have a question though.”
“Ask away.”
“What did Kron do to his other boat?”
“What didn’t he do to that boat? He had too many friends on that thing all with a mix of substances I could never dream of combining. Their parents had to come drag them out lest the police get involved. I’ve never helped Kron with any event or party since then. He hasn’t earned it and he embarrassed me greatly.”
“Would you be more comfortable if we held off on the drinks?”
“See son, the difference between you and Kron is that you understand the legal ramifications of doing something so idiotic as having illegal items on a property that isn’t yours as a minor. You also have integrity and respect, something that Kron has lost sight of. I trust that neither you nor your friends will do anything too drastic.”
“Yeah, there’s no crazy stuff happening this weekend.”
“I believe it.”
“Get back to your girlfriend now. Thank you for checking up on your old man. Tell her I said hello.”
“For sure. Good night.”
“Good night!”
GymRat!Miguel who opens his arms up to you as you come out of the bathroom. You hurried to lay in his arms, skin warm from your shower. 
You snuggle up under his chin, “Today was really fun.”
“Yeah?” he rubs your head slowly. 
“Mm hm. Now, we should sleep.”
A yawn racks through Miguel’s body, the day of driving settling in his bones. 
You keep your ear on his chest. The steady tempo of his heart and his breaths lulling you to sleep. 
GymRat!Miguel who is still asleep by the time you wake up. You both ended up at opposite ends of the giant bed with just your legs intertwining. 
You look over to Miguel and watch his chest rise and fall, his snores crescendoing at each breath. 
You lay your head back on the pillow, eyes tracing the shape of his face in this morning light. The water was calm, giving the boat a slight rock. Some seagulls flew by, their sounds fading in and out. 
You scoot closer to get a better look, your hand lightly following the line of his face. 
His eyes flutter open at your touch, a brown sea welcoming you. 
“G’morning,” his voice is terribly deep like this. The timbre shoots straight to your core. 
“Morning. I didn’t mean to wake you up,” you whisper. 
Miguel moves to lay his head on your chest, taking a deep breath. “It’s fine. The sight made me feel like I went to heaven.”
He pulled you closer by the waist, “Ten more minutes?”
“Rest up all you need, bear-bear.”
GymRat!Miguel who is just as excited as Gabriel when he gets to the deck that morning. The agenda was swimming with the dolphins before everyone else got here.
Miguel and Gabriel were practically buzzing in their matching wetsuits. Dana snuck in a video laughing at the twin looks on their faces. 
GymRat!Miguel who sneaks glances at your form on the way to the dolphin center. You’re leaning over the edge of the smaller boat, the wind against your face. The wetsuit was doing wonders for the curve of your figure. 
GymRat!Miguel who ends up going into a nerd session about dolphins with Gabriel. Both of them are spitting out dolphin facts at the speed of light. 
 “I just think that if you were to be any dolphin, it’s so obvious that you would be an orca.” 
“But why, though? Because I’m big? That’s a new low, even for you, Gabri.”
“No, it’s because you’re mixed, obviously. Killer whale aka orca aka dolphin. Duh, Miguelito.”
“Don’t ‘duh’ me because that doesn’t even make sense. Orcas are still classified as dolphins even though they look like whales.”
“Just like you-”
“I’m going to smack you off the side of this boat if you finish that sentence.”
“Resulting to violence just like a killer whale, what a shame.”
“You’re so annoying. Orcas are smart, they speak different languages based on their pod, and the name was actually ‘whale killers,’ not ‘killer whales.’ That would make me an orca, but I would not be one because I would never take care of my family but abandon my children.”
“A lot of male dolphins abandon their families. A lot of them hang out with the bros and come back.”
“Female dolphins can do the hard work of carrying babies from ten to eighteen months, so enlighten me, Gabri. What are the male dolphins doing with the bros?”
Gabriel squinted his eyes and put his finger up weakly, “This is a trick question.”
“No it’s not! Don’t you know the answer?” Miguel put his hands out, as if waiting for a physical object to be presented. 
“I do know the answer, which is why I don’t want to give you the satisfaction.”
“Well, now I want to know because you two nerds wouldn’t shut up about bottlenose dolphins just five minutes ago,” Dana scoffs as she takes off her shades, the morning sun too much for her. 
“That’s not the same energy you had last night when I-”
“No one wants to hear that.”
“Shut up, Miguel,” Gabriel snaps back. “They take care of other dolphin babies. And sometimes become friends with benefits with their homies.”
Dana makes a disgusted face, “And you’re defending that? Wow. So when I have your kid you’re going to leave me and go do fuck all with Pavitr?”
“No, Dana, I would never do that! We discussed this! Miguel is going to study seahorses, make me a safe mutation, and I’ll carry them for you!”
“I don’t even study genetics so I have no clue what you’re talking about.”
“So you wouldn’t carry her babies?” Gabriel gestures towards you in a panic. 
Miguel looks towards you at the front of the boat, watching the water go by. 
He thought of you as a mom, carrying his kid, holding their hand in the park, picking decor for the nursery. 
He thought of you under him, taking everything he could give you and more. You screaming his name as the bed creaks loud enough to fill the hallway. 
“I would, but that’s not the question right now.”
“Why did it take you so long to answer that?” Gabriel’s tone was high. 
“Oh my god, he was thinking of getting her pregnant,” Dana says in horror. 
“Oh, so I have to listen to your escapades, but I can’t even daydream in silence?”
GymRat!Miguel who listens intently to the staff. No harm shall come to any dolphin on his behalf.  
GymRat!Miguel who makes friends with one of the cute dolphins. Her name is Dotty because of the few spots she has on her body. 
She immediately gravitates towards Miguel. Her blowhole squeals constantly whenever Miguel talks to her. 
“Well I think Dotty is in love!” the instructor yells from across the enclosed water. 
GymRat!Miguel who laughs at Dana who keeps getting splashed on by the baby dolphins. 
GymRat!Miguel who looks so cute with his nose touching Dotty’s rostrum. They’re spinning in circles with Dotty clicking away like a cat purring. 
GymRat!Miguel who watches you interact with one of the bigger dolphins whose name is Mon. 
“Mon and Dotty are a couple, but he’s a little sad today because Dotty isn't giving him any attention,” the instructor says with a giant pout on her face. 
Even Mon’s clicks sounded sad and Miguel didn’t know how that was possible. 
Mon places his chin on your shoulder and you’re immediately in love, rubbing his body and consoling him and his broken heart. 
“It’s ok, Mon. You can hang out with me,” you say in a sweet voice. Mon’s fins squeezed you even tighter. 
A sweater, some random guys, Dana, Blake, and now a dolphin. Miguel can’t win. 
GymRat!Miguel who watches Mon click and spin happily when you feed him fish for doing a trick. 
“That was so good, Monie!” you pat his head, and he leans into your hands. 
GymRat!Miguel who thinks Dotty and Mon are a bit like you and him. They’re twirling in the water together, rubbing their bodies close. 
GymRat!Miguel who sits with you on the boat ride back, watching the dolphins race with the boat halfway to the yacht.
GymRat!Miguel whose eyebrows raise when he sees one of your friends as you guys step off the boat. 
“Hobie!” you squeal, running to hug the lanky figure. 
“My girl! How have you been, love?” he asks, a deep London accent lining his words. 
Love?
“I’m so happy you made it! How’s the apprenticeship? Any new techniques to share?”
“A lot more than techniques, if you know what I mean?” Hobie leaned on you as he snickered away. 
Miguel might pop a fuse. 
GymRat!Miguel who lingers by as you chat away with Hobie. The two of you are catching up for a while and Miguel wants to walk back to the room with you so you can help him take off this tight wetsuit. 
He’s lightly kicking at a puddle with his arms crossed when you call his name. 
“This is my boyfriend, Miguel,” you say, coming up to him and wrapping an arm around his.
“He’s a big one, innit?” Hobie says, holding his hand out. “Hobie Brown.”
Miguel shook it with a sturdy hand, “Miguel O’Hara. Nice to meet you.”
“How long have you known this firecracker for?” Hobie gestured to you with a smile.
“It’ll be a year once August hits. The best ten months of my life, honestly,” Miguel says, leaning down to kiss your temple. 
“She’s got you wrapped ‘round her finger, yeah?” Hobie smirked at the love drunk look on Miguel’s face. “Yeah, you’re a goner. That’s just how she is. One encounter and it’s hard to let go.”
Hobie went to pick up his one backpack, a master at light travel from how much he’s moving. 
“Don’t let me stop yous two from partying. See ya in an hour, love,” Hobie said walking away. 
You look up at Miguel, “The best ten months?”
“Yep. Love?”
“It’s a British thing. He’s friendly!”
“Hm.”
“And definitely demisexual.”
“Hmph.”
“You’re very territorial.”
“For good reason.”
GymRat!Miguel who makes it to the boardwalk after he’s changed to greet their friends and guide them to the yacht. 
There’s a lot of you, especially from Gabriel and Dana’s graduating class. Miguel greets everyone warmly. 
It feels good to unite his old friends and newer friends together.
GymRat!Miguel who makes a plan to be the best at every activity on the agenda today. Yeah, he wanted to have fun, but for some reason, he felt like he had something to prove.
He walks back out to the top deck to see Hobie laying out on the flat slats under the shade. His arms are crossed and his shades are hiding his full expression. 
From here, Miguel can hear Blake chatting it up with some of the girls that are hanging out near the on-deck pool. He looks over the edge and sees him grinning from ear to ear as the girls giggle. He clicks his teeth at the scene. 
“Big Migs, c’mere for a sec, will ya?” Hobie said.
“He’s a bit chatty, that one. An overachiever if I’ve ever seen it.”
On second thought, Miguel might like Hobie a lot.
“All morning, he’s been spitting nothing but rubbish. Going on and on about the boat and the city and his socials. Nothing of substance, just straight air.”
Miguel snickered, “It feels like that’s all he’s got going for himself. His daddy’s boat, his daddy’s money, and his face.”
Miguel recounts the events from last afternoon. How he lacked respect for not only him but for you and your personal space. 
“Not gonna lie, I’d smash his head in,” Hobie replied calmly.
Miguel let out a hearty laugh, “I wanted to and honestly, I could, but there are several circumstances stopping me. Such as the fact that we’re on his dad’s property.”
“But deep it, when’s the next time you’ll need to be on this thing?”
Miguel is about to respond in agreement when you round the corner from the stairs. 
“There you two are!”
You smile at the two of them, “Are you guys getting along? Has Hobie convinced you to join him on some scheme across the country?”
Miguel took a deep breath before responding. He knew what outfits you brought with you, a lot of them matched his own, but it was still like new whenever you put them on. 
He didn’t have enough time in the world to cherish your beauty. 
“They’re not schemes, baby, they’re elaborate plans,” Miguel responds.
“Man like, Migs!” Hobie hops up and drags his arm around Miguel’s shoulders. 
You shake your head with a warm smile on your face, laughing at Hobie’s antics.
“And you look stunning. Though, I’m not too sure if it’s fit for hoverboarding.”
“That’s because I’m jet skiing and shaking ass, Hobie. You guys can have fun flipping in the air.”
“Right on, then. Migs and I have important business to attend to.”
Miguel nods, “Extremely important.”
You eyed them both, “Uh huh.” They left in a controlled frenzy, Hobie pulling his wicks up with a giant band and Miguel cracking his neck.
You didn’t even want to know. 
GymRat!Miguel who is a bit peeved that Blake has to give the water hoverboard demonstration. He’s staying up there longer than necessary, grabbing girls to balance them in the middle of his board while he flips them around.
You’re standing next to Miguel during it all, waiting for Miguel’s turn so you can get a video.
“Hey!” Blake yells out in your direction. “Wanna take it for a spin?”
You shake your head and yell back, “No, I’m good!”
“Just three minutes! Don’t be scared! I won’t drop you.”
“No thanks,” you bite back, voice irritated. 
Blake smiles with a hand on his hip, ready to convince you, when Hobie pipes up, “The lady said no. Can we move on?”
Blake’s face cracked a bit as he told one of the crew members to kill the power in the waterboard. 
“What is up with him?” you mumble to yourself. 
“I think he likes you,” Pavitr remarked. “He wouldn’t stop asking Gabriel questions about you.”
“He’s really pushing it,” Miguel scoffed. Not only was he being overly flirty to every girl on board, he was adamant about getting your attention. “No wonder he gets along with Kron.”
You sported a twisted lip as you watched him strap up one of Gabriel’s friends. “I don’t know. Even if I was single, he’s a bit too…tiny. Communal.”
The laugh that left Miguel wiped the scowl right off of his face.
GymRat!Miguel who gets the hang of the hoverboard after one try. You’re recording him with a big smile on your face as he tries to spell “love” in the air. 
GymRat!Miguel who dies laughing at Gabriel’s horrible attempts at staying in the air. His body keeps shaking like a baby deer and he’s steady yelling in garbled Spanish. 
By the time his turn is over, Miguel is laid out on the boardwalk with tears down his face.
“This isn’t fucking funny, Miguel,” Gabriel cries out.
Miguel just rolls and laughs some more. 
GymRat!Miguel who watches you expertly drive a jet ski from the edge of the yacht. You’re shouting with one arm in the air as you race Dana and some of her friends. 
Miguel leans his head on his hand as he watches you zoom across the ocean. Your skin is glowing, your smile is sparkling, and your laugh is bright. 
GymRat!Miguel whose bubble of thoughts involving you, him, the water, some fruit, and a floatie is popped when Blake’s voice pierces through. 
“She’s pretty good at that.”
“Yep.” Maybe if Miguel ignored him enough, he’d go away.
“Looks like a dream, too.”
“Are you dumb or something?” Miguel turns his body, gripping the rail to not get in Blake’s face, but extending his height to cower over him.
“Woah,” Blake holds his hands up. “It was a compliment, dude, chill out. You’re not mad at me for finding her beautiful, are you?”
“That’s not what the fuck you’re doing and you know it.”
Blake makes a confused face, laughing off Miguel’s statement, “Kron said you guys were open.”
“Does it look like we’re fucking open?”
“Well, at first-”
“Keep talking and you’ll end up just like him. Knocked out. Do you want that?” Miguel edged closer to him. “Huh?”
Blake bristles, ready to defend himself when his head is knocked to the side. 
He looks next to him to see a gaggle of girls all with waterballoons and nerf guns. They yell at him to come on and pick a side. 
Blake scrambles to join them.
Miguel is about to follow when Hobie sweeps in front of him, “Cool it.”
GymRat!Miguel who almost takes an edible from Hobie but decides against it. 
“The offer is open all weekend.”
“Noted.”
GymRat!Miguel who gets roped into playing some games to start off the night, one of which is Never Have I Ever with shots. 
It started off innocently with things like peeing in a pool and cheating on a test to which everyone looked in shock at Miguel when he put a finger down. 
“I’m smart but if there’s a group effort to get the right answers, I’m not going to say no.”
Then it went left field and personal with things like threesomes, drunkenly fighting with others, and streaking. 
“Never have I ever…received head from a partner!”
A few of the guys put a finger down, groaning out and snickering as they had to take another shot. 
Miguel was trying not to dwell on how many experiences he lacked compared to the group, a lot of them younger than him. 
He rubbed his tongue across his teeth. He didn’t want to show his irritation on his face. 
Looking across the circle, he could see Gabriel’s eyes get wide, staring off beside you. 
Miguel followed his line of sight landing on you with a finger down and a shot in your hand. 
What the fuck. 
Who the fuck beat him to it? Where the fuck did it happen? When the fuck did it happen? How the fuck did he not know?
He’s ready for the game to be over. 
“Miguel is putting in work!” one guy pushes his elbow against Miguel’s side, laughing and patting his shoulders. 
Well, if people think he did it, it’s not so bad. 
“Oh my god, girl, how was it?” Dana’s friend asked you. 
Miguel tried his best not to scream bloody murder. 
“It was,” you pause, looking up to ponder. “It was something! Not particularly fun or good. My ex wasn’t the best at listening so he just poked at me. I faked everything that night.”
Miguel smirked. There were no big shoes to fill because they were never taken out of the box. Or even out of the store. 
“That sucks. I bet he thought you were in heaven.”
You laugh with the girls, joking in a way similar to the women that flooded Miguel’s for-you page. 
Miguel stepped away to get a breather. If he stayed any longer, he might do something drastic. 
GymRat!Miguel who is leaning on the boat when Gabriel comes to check up on him. 
“You ok, Miguelito?”
“Yeah, I’m alright. A little overwhelmed so I need to reset,” Miguel wrung his wrists while he let the sea breeze cool him down. 
“Is it the game? Don’t feel so bad,” Gabriel leans closer to Miguel and speaks in a stage whisper. “Some of them are a little too fast for their own good.”
Miguel snickered. Gabriel was definitely tipsy. 
“Thanks, Gabri.”
“Anytime. Don’t let them bring you down. You’re my perfect Miguelito. My pure baby!” Gabriel kissed him on the cheek.
“Ugh,” Miguel laughed and wiped at his wet cheek.
“Don’t wipe away at my love, broski.”
GymRat!Miguel who is guided by you in a dance. You’re a little tipsy and giggly, holding onto him as you dance to the music. 
Miguel just holds onto your hips and smiles with you. 
GymRat!Miguel who is locked in on your body as you grind against him. You’re arching your back and looking at him with a sparkle in your eye and Miguel feels like a wild animal.
When you lean back against him, he whispers in your ear about a private party just for the two of you. You bite your lip and turn to look at him. His eyes are tracing your lips and his hands are groping you. 
GymRat!Miguel who laughs at you as you wish everyone a good night quickly.
“I’ll see you guys in the morning!” you shout to your friends as you pull Miguel behind you to the room.
GymRat!Miguel who waits for you on the bed while you use the bathroom. 
He’s excited for an intimate night with just you. Parties were fun but it really couldn’t beat the serenity of smaller groups. It especially couldn’t beat talking all night with you. 
Everyone else was chilling out in other parts of the yacht, back in their hotel rooms, or night paddle boarding. 
You’re in the bathroom staring at the thin fabric in your hand. 
Miguel told you that there was a pool involved. 
You bought a micro bikini during a surge of confidence. It looked so cute on the model and you wanted to feel the same way. 
Now you’re standing in the bathroom freaking out, worried to death over the flimsy material. You were excited about Miguel seeing it, but you couldn’t shake your own nerves about how everything would play out. 
A knock at the door makes you jump.
You crack the door and peer up at Miguel. 
“You ok in there?” he asked, eyebrows pinched. 
“Yeah, I’m ok! I’ll be out in just a sec!”
You bite the bullet and place the bikini on. 
You didn’t account for your areolas to poke out beyond the triangles. You bit your lip as you turned to check out your backside.
At least your ass looked great. 
In a nervous motion, you pull your coverup over you and pull your hair up so that it doesn’t get too ruined by the water. It was now or never. 
GymRat!Miguel who holds your hand as he guides you to the private area. You’re squeezing his hand so tight. 
One of the stewardesses smiles as she sees you two coming. She stands next to a rope cutting off the area. 
“Good evening to you both! I hope you’ve been enjoying your stay so far,” her voice is polite and even. “Tonight, it’ll be just you two enjoying the Galaxy. If you need anything, just press the call button on the wall and I’ll be right down.”
She unlatches the rope and holds her arm out in the direction of the stairs.
You both slowly descend, careful not to slip on the trippy-looking wood. 
Taking a step into the room, Miguel stares in awe at the glowing pool. 
There’s petals fluttering about, small fairy lights surround the corners to add extra light. Looking up, you both can see the night sky with the stars adorning it. 
“This is beautiful,” you say, the lights surrounding you glittering in your eyes. 
You were staring at the stars and the lights but Miguel couldn’t help but to think that you were the most beautiful part of the room. 
He said this much to you, watching as you bent your head down hiding the smile on your face. Miguel lifted it back up and kissed you under the light of the stars. 
“Ready?” 
“Yeah, let me just go take this off.” 
You walk towards a chair with folded towels placed on it. 
“Miguel, these have our names on them!” you say with shock, running your fingers over the embroidered letters. Hearts surrounded the names and you felt fuzzy from the implication of the stewardess preparing this. 
“Yeah, I heard it was a part of the couple’s bundle,” he shouts from the pool. It wasn’t really a part of the bundle, but Miguel suggested it way before the trip. 
His back was turned to you, trying to set up a speaker by the pool. 
The moment was perfect, so you opened a champagne bottle and poured two glasses. You took a huge gulp of one and removed your slip. 
GymRat!Miguel who hears you entering the water, so he hurries to pick out a song. 
The mood needs to be right. 
He turns to you and nearly drowns at the sight. (Art is not affiliated with this fic, but I couldn't find any plus-size women in real life on Pinterest with this type of bikini! Please give this artist some love, I love their art!)
You’re coming down the stairs with two glasses in your hand and your skin on full display. The strings are digging tight into your skin and your breasts are practically spilling out from every side. 
Miguel is stunned.
“Come grab your drink, Miguel,” your voice is like butter in his ears. 
His eyes don’t leave you as he swims across the pool. The only sounds that could be heard are the water moving around him and the music playing. When he gets closer, he stands up, water dripping down his body. He’s breathing hard and is laser-focused on your frame. 
You feel an array of emotions. You feel like running, jumping, maybe hiding. His gaze is too heavy and he hasn’t spoken a word yet. 
You don’t know how long you two stare at each other before Miguel breaks the tension, “You’re going to be the death of me.”
He takes the glasses from your hand with one hand and picks you up in the other. You cling to him as he goes to the edge of the pool, places one glass down and chugs the other. 
In a flash, you’re sitting on the edge and he’s holding his body out of the water in order to kiss you. 
He pushes your mouth open, pulling at your lip with his teeth. He was desperate, wanting more. 
Your hands find your way to his hair, the tips wet from his swim. You card your fingers through his locks, opening your mouth wider as Miguel groans onto your tongue. 
He can’t stop, body moving forward the deeper the kisses get. Your legs open wider and your hands fall down Miguel’s back. You go lower than usual, pushing your hands under his swimsuit, fingertips grazing over the skin of his ass. 
Miguel parts, spit-ridden mouth red and messy. 
“You’re making this so hard for me,” he says against your lips. You’re both panting into each other’s mouths. 
Your body feels like jelly. The way that he’s looking at you fills you with desire, “Making what hard?” You’re quivering and clenching as his eyes seem to get darker. 
“Baby,” Miguel kisses the corner of your lips then your jaw. He moves to where your jaw and neck connect, licking  “Amor. I can’t.”
You move your head, encouraging him to continue, “You can if you want to.”
“No, I’m supposed to take this slow,” his mouth moved to your collarbone, sucking at the skin as you squeezed your thighs around him. “I need to take this slow.”
He gets to your breasts, pressing your nipples through the material and watching as your areolas poked out more. “Mierda.”
You try to talk as Miguel takes one breast into his mouth, “It’s ok to want more. I want, ugh, I want you to take more.” He pulls at your nipple, watching as it rises more through the fabric. His thumb traces it, causing you to twitch in his hold. 
He continues to rub over the fabric as he kisses down your stomach. The string is wrapping around your stomach like a gift just for him. 
“Tomorrow, baby,” he says into your skin. “I’ll take more tomorrow.”
He needed to stop before he broke the promise he made to himself. 
He hears you whine as he gets eerily close to your sex before jerking his body straight. 
“Why?” you sound so needy and broken. 
“Because,” he kisses your pout away. “Tomorrow, I’m going to take all I need. You just need to trust me. Please.”
You nod your head, heart pounding with his words. 
GymRat!Miguel who lets you persuade him into swapping places. All it took was a few blinks of your eyes and Miguel was swooning.
“I saw you walk away during the game today. I wanted to make sure that the next time you play, you’re able to put a finger down.”
That’s what you told him with a sweet smile on your face.
Now you’re rubbing up his thighs and Miguel is about to pass out from the view of you peering up at him. Your eyes were foggy and the slope of your neck to your chest was glistening. From this angle, Miguel could see the curve of your ass with the bikini barely covering it.
You run your hands down his chest, fingers dancing along the slopes and planes, leaving a wet trail in your wake. Miguel’s stomach tightens as you make it below his belly button, the sensation of your fingertips across his happy trail building a fury in his core.
You kiss him through his swimsuit causing him to jump.
You hold his thighs and tilt your head to lean on one, “Are you nervous, Miggy?” Your knuckles rake against his groin, lingering in spots that made his inner thighs clench the most.
“I,” Miguel is trembling like a leaf. He can barely get the words out from how much energy he's using to hold himself up. “I don’t know.”
“You don’t know?” You lift your body from the water a little, pressing your tits closer to his clothed sex. “Baby, I need you to know. I can’t go further without your permission.”
Miguel feels like he could cum right now.
“I’m really nervous, but I want to experience this.”
You hum as you start to pull at his waistband. His eyes scrunch closed as his dick springs up. 
You’re met with a sight you had missed. The size is still as intimidating as the last time. 
You rub his thighs and give yourself a quiet pep talk. You were determined to make your boyfriend feel good. 
Miguel looks back down at you and swallows dryly, anxious at the look in your eyes and your silence, “If it’s too much, w-we can stop here-”
“No.”
The first lick of his tip has Miguel rising off of the pool edge, pre-cum escaping him.
He whines, embarrassed at his lack of control, but his dick is twitching from the sensation.
“Miguel,” your hands are back on his hips at a flimsy attempt to hold him down. “You need to be careful, baby.”
“Don’t call me baby right now.” Miguel’s voice is winded like he’s been running a marathon.
You look up at him. His mouth is twisted up and his eyebrows are furrowed. His stomach keeps shaking and his elbows don’t know if they want to bend or extend. When he looks down at you, he lets out a whimper, dick jerking against his will.
You hold your lips right above the head, the heat of it making you excited, “Baby.”
Miguel jerks again as you take his tip into your mouth, more of his pre-cum slipping out. His body is wound tight and he’s losing sense of it. Your mouth is so warm and he’s crying out from just you suckling along the head. He would be grateful with just this alone.
You push yourself lower, mouth adjusting to the widening girth. You don’t know if it’s the champagne combined with the other drinks you’ve had today, but the taste is making your mind fuzzy. 
You hum as you move your tongue along the underside of his length, his essence melting into your mouth. Miguel continues to twitch against your lips. 
You look up and he just groans when his eyes connect with yours. 
“P-pretty,” he stutters out, brain-to-mouth filter completely disintegrating. One of his arms covers his mouth as he fights to quiet down. There’s no telling what the stewardess could hear from above. 
You decided to go deeper, wanting to hear him some more. You make it halfway down before you grip his shaft and give it a few semi-dry pumps. 
Miguel just about shouts at the sensation, legs jerking enough to splash the water around you. 
Satisfied with the reaction, you release him with a pop and slide your tongue down to the base, trying to get him as wet as possible for what you’re about to attempt to do. You pucker your lips to leave wet kisses all over his shaft, sucking occasionally. 
All Miguel can do is whimper and shake. 
You hold him, sliding your hand up and down, applying pressure whenever you glide over the top, “You can hold on to me.”
Miguel shakes his head and releases his bottom lip from his teeth to speak, but his words are jumbled up in a heated mess. 
“Say it again, Miguel. I don’t understand,” you bring your mouth to the head again, this time, cupping his balls as you slide back down. 
Early spurts of cum land in your mouth as Miguel uselessly grips at the flat ground. He’s moaning out your name and if you weren’t sliding him down your throat, you would think he’s crying for you. 
“I-I don’t wanna hurt you,” Miguel takes heavy breaths in the middle of his sentence. 
Even like this he was oh so sweet. You don’t push it and continue on. 
As you reach the hilt, you force yourself to relax, thumb pressed against your fisted palm. He was heavy on your tongue and you needed to find the right pace. 
You slowly move your head up and down, lips wet with spit and slick. You build a steady tempo that has Miguel involuntarily moving his hips and moaning in a senseless manner. 
He was conflicted, core heated at the sound of your throat barely taking him, but wanting to pull you off so you don’t choke all because of him. Hot tears ran down his face as you didn’t let up. 
He chooses the latter, foggy mind coming to a decision. His shaky hands reach towards your face, your cheeks hallowed and eyes closed. His hands make it to your cheeks when you reach the hilt again and swallow around his head. 
Miguel scares himself with the moan he lets out. 
You panic as you swallow his load, mouth completely full. 
Miguel hurries to pull you off, “Shit! Baby, I’m so sorry!”
“It’s ok,” you cough as you try to catch your breath. Drips of him that you didn’t swallow falling to your chest. “I wish you would have told me you were about cum, though.”
“I didn’t know!” he’s red in the face. “God, I’m so sorry!”
“Was it good, though?” You look up at him with lips and sparkling eyes. You’re holding your tits up so that his cum wouldn’t get in the pool. 
Miguel’s dick twitches like it’s trying to wake back up again. You notice it and a grin plants itself right onto your face. 
“Do you really have to ask me that?”
“Yes, Miggy.”
“I think my embarrassing finish was enough but yes, you made me feel good. It was way more than good. Now come out of the pool before you get any more ideas.”
“It wasn’t embarrassing!” you reply as Miguel picks you up from the water and on his stomach while lays back. “‘Was kinda hot. You felt so good that you couldn’t wait.”
You slide your finger over your cleavage to pick up the leftover essence and plop right in your mouth. 
Miguel grips your thighs as he looks up at you, “No, stop that, you vixen.”
You’re going to be the death of him for sure. 
GymRat!Miguel whose legs are like jelly when you help him up from the ground. His thighs haven’t shaken this much since his first leg day almost five years ago. 
“Do you need to lie down on the beach chair for a minute?” you ask with genuine concern. 
“Yeah, I think I need a second,” Miguel says, trying his best not to put his entire weight onto you. 
GymRat!Miguel who watches you watch him from the pool. You’re at the edge, leaning over and smiling at him while you let your body float. 
“Next time, I want to get, like, really hoarse. We should work on your resistance and my tolerance. Oh! And maybe we can do that thing where I hold your-”
“Amor, please. Let’s talk about this when I’m not halfway dying,” Miguel groans, dick half hard. “How are you so good at this anyway?”
“Practice! With my ex and like one other fling. They weren’t nearly as responsive as you, though.”
Miguel squints at your figure. 
“Or fun. Or satisfying. Or tasty. Or big. Can I do it one more time, Miggy?”
Miguel stares at you for a minute or two then groans, “Come on.”
You leave the water and walk over to him with glee. 
GymRat!Miguel who grabs lightly onto your head this time, fingers twitching occasionally. His legs are parted and you’re laid out on the horizontal part of the beach chair. Miguel is constantly looking from your face to your ass, experiencing a sensation overload. You take it easy on him this time, saving some of your tricks and things you wanted to try for a later date. 
The room is filled once again with Miguel’s grunts and whimpers plus your mouth and throat molding unto him. 
GymRat!Miguel who warns you this time. You let go with a pop and let him paint your open mouth. He shudders as you look at him through it all, pumping him slowly until he can't take anymore. A lonely tear escaped him, eyes heavy and chest heaving. 
GymRat!Miguel who barely makes it back up the stairs. He gives the stewardess a polite smile but you can barely look at her for longer than a second. 
“It was really lovely,” you say leaning into Miguel’s side, voice a little gone. 
“Yeah, amazing,” Miguel snickers. You nudge him at the back of his leg causing him to stagger a bit. 
The stewardess just laughs and wishes you both a good night. 
GymRat!Miguel who sleeps like a log that night. His soul needed to rejuvenate. 
GymRat!Miguel who wakes up a new man. He feels like he can conquer the world. As of now, the world is a new set of water activities with their friends. 
He kisses you on the cheek in your sleeping state makes his way out to the deck, wanting to do some morning stretches and yoga if he could fit it in. 
He walked out to see Dana talking to Blake, an indifferent look on her face.
“I just can’t believe he would lie to me like that, you know? Like that’s fucked up. Here I was, ready to get something and he set me up.” 
“Yeah, no. That really sucks,” Dana replies with a big yawn.
“I mean, I thought we were bros. I thought-”
“Miguel! My knight in shining armor,” Dana practically screams when she spots Miguel.
Blake tenses up so that if he mimics a timid raccoon. 
“Morning,” Miguel walks up to them.
Blake breaks out into a sweat, “Hey man, I’m sorry about last night. I would have never done that stuff if I knew. I don’t know why Kron told me you guys were open.”
“I think you need some new friends and better social cues,” Miguel brushed Blake off and walked with Dana onto the boardwalk. 
“Thank god you got here. That was his fourth iteration of ‘bro code should be respected.’ I was going to start screaming if he kept talking.”
GymRat!Miguel who lets Dana guide him in a mini yoga class on the beach. It’s pretty nice with the waves crashing and the birds squawking occasionally.
GymRat!Miguel whose downward dog pose is almost disrupted by you whistling from a spot in the sand. 
You and Gabriel had snuck up on Miguel and Dana, cackling like hyenas.
“Baby, I think you can go deeper,” you shout over the waves, encouraging Miguel to stretch.
“Gross,” Gabriel shudders. 
GymRat!Miguel who wants to use you for a flying pose but you refuse. 
“I’m not walking back with sand up my back.”
“Can we try it later, though?” Miguel pouted. 
“On safe carpet, yes.”
GymRat!Miguel who settles for a forward fold with you. You stretch your body across his back as he reaches down to touch his toes. 
It’s nice until you both switch positions. 
“I think I’m dying,” you gasp out. You sound like an old man on his last breath. 
“No, you’re not. You just need more practice,” Miguel chides from above. 
“When will I ever need this pose in life?”
“Flexibility is good for you!” Miguel replies after a while. 
“Get your mind out of the gutter.”
“I didn’t do anything!”
GymRat!Miguel who tilts his head at your breakfast plate piled with pineapples. 
“You don’t want an omelet?”
“Maybe later.”
GymRat!Miguel who joined any group activity he could. 
From the inflatable water obstacle course,  
which Gabriel cheated on by the way,
To the boat tour, he got so many pictures for you for his rotating home screen,
To the banana boat rides that he almost lost his life on. It took you, Gabriel, and Dana to hold onto him. 
GymRat!Miguel who surprises you with a “rooftop” dinner on the horizon on the highest part of the yacht. You’re wearing that same green dress that made him go crazy in the dressing room. 
“This is so gorgeous, Miguel,” you sigh as you take in the small scene. 
From up here, you could see the breathtaking view of the ocean and the city. The sun was close to setting, people were out and about, and the group was partaking in last-minute activities like parasailing and water walking with bubble balls but you could only focus on the glow around Miguel. 
“Did you enjoy this weekend?”
You nod your head, shy with attention, “I really did. I had so much fun.”
“Even with boys that don’t understand the word ‘no’?”
“When I have my strong boyfriend there to defend me, what is there to be afraid of?” you smile at him. 
Miguel sits up straighter at that, chest puffing out.
You laugh at his state, “Seriously, though. This was one of the best summers ever. I’m really glad Mr. Stone arranged this and I’m even more glad that you brought me along.”
“Of course I did. You’re my girl. Mi amor, mi luz,” Miguel reached out to run your hand. “I’m not letting you go anytime soon.”
Like a flower unfurled, your heart took in his words. You leaned across the table until you could brush your lips with his, only the sun peeking through the two of you. 
You let go and lean back a little. “I’m not letting go of you either. I want you by my side,” you say, eyes panning back and forth between his.
“And that’s where I’ll stay.”
GymRat!Miguel who covers your eyes on the way back to the room.
You’re whining because you don’t have nearly as much planned for him as he always does for you. 
“Amor, you could just text me an emoji and I would be happy. You deserve good things. Don’t worry about me.”
GymRat!Miguel who wraps his arm around you as you open your eyes to the room. 
It’s lit with soft lights, decorated lightly with rose petals in the shape of a heart on the ground, and a banner full of pictures with the two of you. Pictures from outside of lab, pictures of you with oil paint on your face, pictures of him piled with notes in the study lab. 
Pictures of you both on your early dates, pictures of you looking at him in the car, pictures where he’s kissing your face off. 
You gasp at the scene, feet stuck in the entryway.
“Surprise,” Miguel says into your ear, kissing the top of it.
“I don’t think I have any tears left,” your voice is watery enough to dispute that lie.
GymRat!Miguel who kisses you deeply in the middle of the rose heart. You’re cradling his face with one hand and rubbing your thumb across his sideburn with another.
You’re so wrapped up in his arms and his presence that you miss his question.
“Can you do what?”
Miguel’s hands find their way to your ass, pulling you even closer, “Can I please eat you out?”
When you stare at him with your eyebrows raised, it only pushes him to continue.
“I’ve been thinking about it for a long time. I’ve dreamed about it, researched how to do it, studied it, daydreamed about it. I need to do it before I go crazy.”
He bent down to get on his knees, hands never letting go of your body.
“Please, baby. If you’ll allow me, I really want to make you feel good.”
At first, all you could think was that Dana was right and definitely a girl’s girl. Then, you looked down at Miguel whose head was pressed up against your torso, eyes pleading with you. 
You ran your hand through his hair, “You need to do it?”
“Uh huh,” he nodded, nuzzling into your body through your dress. 
“I don’t know if I’ll be able to fake my reactions for you.” You didn’t have the heart to lie to him like that, especially when he’s looking at you like that. 
“You won’t have to,” Miguel mumbles into your skin. “I’m confident, but if something is weird, stop me immediately.”
GymRat!Miguel who doesn’t give you time to think when you whisper out an “ok.” He’s picking you up by the legs and plopping you on the bed.
Like a switch, he’s kissing down your body, pulling at the stretchy green fabric to expose your skin. He’s crowding your space in the most desired way possible, a fire building within him.
“Miguel, the dress isn’t going to come off like that,” you say, internally laughing at Miguel tugging to no avail. 
He starts to pull so hard that you can hear threads ripping. Before you can stop him, there’s a makeshift slit up your thigh. 
You lean up on your elbows and give Miguel a look. He just stares sheepishly and lets you stand up to pull the dress off. 
“You gotta be more patient baby,” you purred, bending down to kiss his lips. 
When you lean back, you move backwards to sit on the bed. It’s just you, your black panties, and a hungry Miguel at your feet.
The further you inch up the bed, the more Miguel crawls to be closer to you. 
“Can I kiss you?” he breathes into your mouth, eyes never leaving yours.
“Please.”
Miguel melts into your skin, mouth molding to a familiar shape. His breaths are heavy and sporadic, too excited to finally know what you feel like on his tongue.
You reach to pull his shirt off, wanting to feel his chest against yours, wanting to feel the expanse of his back while he pressed up against you. Miguel follows your movements without letting up.
He sighed into your lips with pleasure as he let his hand flow down your body, grabbing a breast to massage. You hummed into his mouth, legs parting to bring him closer. Eager to please, Miguel slipped his shorts below his bulged, grinding against you.
You start to wrap your legs around his waist before Miguel interrupts you with a sturdy hand under your knee, and a promise to devour you to your neck.
GymRat!Miguel who groans when he slides your panties down your legs. The slope of your thick thighs to your ass has Miguel ready to burst. 
He gets on his knees to maneuver your legs up into your arms. You peek up at him over your knees, your wet cunt kissing the air. 
He licks his lips at the sight, taking a tentative touch at your wet lips. 
You jump at the sensation, the feeling of Miguel seeing you this vulnerable new. 
He bends down to kiss them, hands on the back of your thighs for extra support. Your core flutters as he takes a few more kisses to your sex, tongue reaching out to trace from the bottom to the top. At the first taste, Miguel is groaning into you, sending vibrations through your body. 
You sigh out in bliss as your grip loosens on your legs. Miguel flattens his body on the bed and spreads your legs wide, tongue continuing to savor the taste of you. 
At this angle, Miguel pushes his tongue in between your folds, feeling your warmth around him. He laps at your entrance slowly causing you to flutter around him and reach for his hair.
He slurps up the juices that try to escape him causing you to moan out his name. He just hums in response, breaching further inside. The more noises he makes, the wetter you get. The room is full of the sound of him lapping everything he gave you and your quiet moans.
“Miguel,” your breath hitched as he swiped over a particular spot. You look down at Miguel whose eyes are closed and hands are tight on your thighs. You feel a building heat seeing how much of a trance he’s in. 
Just when you feel a bud sprouting within you, he directs his attention towards your clit, searching until he finds it. At the first skim across it, your hips are bucking up off the bed. Miguel is quick to hold you down, placing his weight on your thighs and lapping continuously at the pearl. 
“Fuck!” you shout, hitting the mattress. You’re writhing beneath him, unable to control your body. “Don’t stop, Miguel, please.”
Miguel groans through it all, lapping up every drop. 
“Baby, I’m gonna-” a scream pushes through you as your body shakes with pleasure. Miguel takes it like a champ, slurping like you were his last meal.
As you twitch with aftershocks, Miguel barely gives you time to recover before he’s diving back into your entrance. You let out a sob, still sensitive and quivering as your legs move too close before Miguel growls and wraps his arms around your thighs to keep them open. 
He’s sinking into you, moving his tongue at a steady pace and sucking in between. Your moans were a pool of words from his name to begging to profanities crescendoing across the air.
Miguel would rarely part for air, adamant on bringing you to the hilt again. Your thighs were tensing up as Miguel kept going, fire building as you grabbed his hair and jerked your hips in time with his movements. 
Your climax comes in waves, your hands tighter in his hair and an arch in your back. When you clench over his tongue and your release hits his mouth, Miguel’s eyes start to roll and he’s rubbing his nose against your clit. You yell even louder as Miguel pushes his face incredibly deep into your pussy. He’s rutting into the bed at the sound of your voice, moaning with you. 
─ ⋅ ⋅ ⋅ ──── ♡ ─── ⋅ ⋅ ⋅ ──
The captain swore that the VIP suite was soundproof, but your voice was practically carrying across the yacht. 
“She’s getting it good! Just like I promised,” Dana smiles to herself. 
“What did you promise? I was the one that gave Miguel tips.” Gabriel moved his headphones aside. 
“Oh yeah? And what tips did you give him?” She had her eyebrow raised and a silly smirk on her face. 
There was a pause of silence between them, only your voice filling up the space occasionally. Gabriel stared at Dana with a goofy grin.
He reached over and connected his phone to his speaker, putting on his special playlist. “Want to find out?”
─ ⋅ ⋅ ⋅ ──── ♡ ─── ⋅ ⋅ ⋅ ──
GymRat!Miguel who has to be pulled off your sex with both of your hands. His eyes are glazed over and his chin is soaked. Every chance you came after the first two times, your body would move up the bed and Miguel was sure to follow. 
“Ok, ok, baby,” you heave. Your legs are spasming, a result of the position and Miguel’s willingness to have you cum over and over again.
You were tapping out, body sore and tired. 
Miguel left a final long kiss to your clit, a trail of essence following his lips. He kissed up one of your thighs with a hungry look still in his eyes.
“¿Lo hice bien, cariño?” (Did I do it well, baby/darling?)
You trembled at his touch, limbs still heavy and mind in the clouds. 
Still, this was the best you’ve felt in a while.
You open your mouth to whisper, “Lo hiciste muy bien.” (You did so good.)
GymRat!Miguel who has to calm down internally at your answer. You don’t talk to him in Spanish often, but when you do, he’s over the moon. 
GymRat!Miguel who carries you to the bathroom to clean you off.
“Baby, I can’t walk. You’ll have to carry me for the rest of your life.”
“I’m totally fine with that.”
GymRat!Miguel who shocks you when he says that you don’t need to worry about bringing him relief. 
“Amor, I came when you came. After that, it was really all about you.”
“Oh!”
GymRat!Miguel who pats his past self on the back for asking the crew for extra sheets. He had no clue how the evening would go, but something in him told him to be overprepared. 
Those old sheets were beyond ruined. 
GymRat!Miguel who rubs your legs and stomach with aloe vera lotion after the shower. Not only did he stretch you a little further than you’re used to, but his bite marks left a big impression. 
GymRat!Miguel who cuddles you to sleep. If you wore him out the other night, he definitely put you through the ringer. You were gone after three rubs to your back. 
GymRat!Miguel who wakes up early with you to send off all of your friends. You’re yawning constantly, tears sticking to the corners of your eyes.
“Someone had a time last night,” Hobie snickers as he walks past with his backpack. 
“Shut up, Hobie,” you say, already flustered. 
“What? It’s true! If I didn’t know Migs' name before, I sure do now.”
“I’m going to backflip off of this boat.”
GymRat!Miguel who grants Captain Barrett a goodbye, thanking him for letting them use his boat.
“It was a pleasure to host you, Miguel. If you and your girlfriend ever need to, my superyacht is available for any future formal events!” he elbows Miguel with a giant grin, curled mustache moving like it was paid to do so. 
“I’ll keep that in mind, Cap.”
For Miguel, the man with the plan, he would grant Mission A: Eat You Out, a huge success and the start of the summer one to remember.
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divider by: @iwonbin 🩵
Part 9.1 here!
a/n: And with that, the yacht chapter is finished! I hope you guys enjoyed it and got your life. 🤭 It was both challenging and rewarding to write this GIANT chapter. I hope that you guys have fun with it like I did! I have no idea how the next chapter OR Miguel's Mission B: Virgin No More plan will go, but!!! Hopefully, it will be pleasant regardless! 🤠
ALSO! I have decided to give this drabble that's basically a fic a proper name (mostly for AO3). Do you all have any suggestions?
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moamidzyism · 4 months
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pobrecito (c.sb)
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wc. 1440
genre. smut
tags. minors dni! sub!soobin x dom!fem reader, brother’s best friend, degradation, perv!soobin, panty stealing, masturbation (both f and m), nipple play, thigh riding, handjob, pet names (baby)
a/n. repost; my first soobin piece omg!!!! and also the first smut i’ve written for txt fr 😮 this is definitely minimally proofread (meaning i only ran it through the spell check), and the ending is 🥴, writing this made me feel like a p3rv i hope you enjoy it lol
more of my work
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going home for the summer was never your idea of a good time but your parents had begged you to, claiming that they never saw you anymore. little did you know that they just wanted you to house-sit while your twin brother was around because they had planned a weeklong getaway the one week you could make it back to the town you grew up in. so now, you’re stuck in your parent’s house all week long.
you thought that you could take this time to spend with your brother, given the fact that you hadn’t seen him since winter break, but he was more concerned with showing his college roommate around your hometown. soobin, the roommate, was quiet. he didn’t really talk as much as he just followed your brother around like a lost puppy.
it was a surprise how your loud, obnoxious brother got along with him, when soobin went by mostly unnoticeably.
mostly.
there were some things you couldn’t help but notice: like he never made eye contact with you when you spoke to him, or how he stuttered unbelievably when you asked him the simplest questions, or how his gaze lingered on you when you passed him in the hallway.
like tonight, for instance, the three of you sat together in the living room for the first time that week. you sat cross-legged on the living room floor around the coffee table, a box of pizza in between. they had spent their nights during that first weekend in the next town over but in your small town there was not much to do on a monday night other than watch high schoolers perform vape tricks in the mall parking lot, before they’re chased off by the night security.
so the three of you sat together in mostly awkward silence and uncomfortable small talk, the only sound coming from the sports game playing at low volume on the tv.
“so, did you guys do anything fun today?” you asked the two boys sitting opposite you. you leaned backwards to rest your back on the couch. you paid extra attention to soobin, and the way his eyes followed along the stretch of your body. his eyes ogled the way your t-shirt rode up, exposing the patch of skin right below your belly button. he took a long sip of his drink.
“yeah, we went to the old arcade on main street.” your brother responded on behalf of the two of them. then you fell back into the silence, picking the toppings off the slice on your plate.
when you were done eating you retreated to your room. the two of them dawdled in the living room for a while longer before withdrawing to your brother’s room. on his way to the bathroom, soobin stopped at your door to see that it was slightly ajar. he didn’t mean to peek through the slit. he didn’t mean to see you laying in bed with one of your hands under your shirt. and he definitely didn’t mean to follow your other arm to see it pressing on the pink vibrator that was between your legs, buzzing against your clothed cunt.
but he did and he couldn’t help but rush to the bathroom and turn on the shower to mask the sounds of his moans as he rubbed his hard length, his eyes rolling back in his head, thinking about what it would feel like to have his hands replaced by yours. what it would feel like to taste you. what it would feel like to hear your pretty voice moaning his name, telling him how good he is. 
his hips not-so-rhythmically met his fists, fisting his dick as if it were you. he just needed to feel something, feel good. his back was resting against the cold shower wall as he inched closer to his orgasm. the cold water ran down his face, which was contorted with pleasure as he bit his lip to stop a guttural groan from escaping.
the next morning, you went into the kitchen to make yourself a cup of coffee. you saw a note on the kitchen island from your brother saying he went to pick up breakfast for only him and soobin, who was still sleeping.
asshole, you thought as you went to the fridge to figure out what you were going to eat.
now, last night, soobin was blessed with post nut clarity, which is when he came up with his foolproof plan. it had only been three days that he had been in the house with you but he had already memorized your morning routine. he pretended to be asleep when your brother left. and then he waited for the sound of your bedroom door opening, indicating that you were no longer in your room.
then it was game time.
he snuck into your room, going through your laundry basket to see if you discarded your underwear from last night. even if you didn’t, he hoped that he would find another pair of cum stained panties that he could use to jerk off with.
after finding nothing suitable to eat in the kitchen, you decided to go back to your room and order breakfast from somewhere nearby. to your surprise, you see your brother’s tall friend standing in your room with something pink and lacy in his hands. “what are you doing here?” you ask, causing him to jump.
he quickly shoves his hand in his pockets when he sees you standing in the doorway, a look of confusion and intrigue on your face. “i- i thought you were in the shower.”
“that doesn’t explain why you’re in my room.” you inch closer to him. “what’s in your pocket, binnie?”
he feels his dick twitch at your use of that nickname, but that didn’t distract him from his plan b – if anything goes wrong, deny everything. “nothing.”
“now, you know i don’t believe that, soobin. show me what’s in your pocket.” he pulls out the underwear you wore two days ago, causing you to scoff. “you’re so pathetic.”
“i’m sorry.”
“you’re sorry because you got caught.”
“no, i’m so sorry.”
“but baby, you’re still holding my underwear.” he drops them instantly, making you chuckle. your laugh was full of venom as you lifted your hand to caress his face.
“i didn’t mean to.”
“didn’t mean to do what?” you asked in mock coyness.
“i’m sorry.” you scoff again.
“is that all you can say?”
“i need you.” he mumbles.
“oh, poor baby.” you push him onto your bed. “what would my brother say if he came home to see you in his sister’s room?”
“i don’t care.” his breath hitched in his throat. “i- i just want you to touch me, please.”
“aww,” you coo. “you want me to touch you, binnie. do you think you deserve it, baby?”
“yes,” he gulps, pulling you with his long legs so that you fall on top of him, your clothed heats coming in contact with each other. he groaned at the touch.
“ha! you definitely don’t deserve it after that.” you sit up straight, finding a comfortable spot on his knee, his arms holding you in place behind your waist.“but you’re lucky, i’m feeling nice today.” you palm his cock through his sweatpants, feeling it enlarge under your hands. “you come into my room, looking through my dirty laundry like a disgusting, little pervert. and now you’re so hard, but i barely even touched you.”
“it’s b-because of you.”
“hmm, is that so?” pull his dick out, slowly stroking it. his dick twitches at the contact and he lets out a whine.
“yeah, your… your boobs.” he looks down at your hardened nipples poking through the white t-shirt you wore to sleep. “bet they look better with nothing on them.”
“you want to see them?” you ask, to which he responds with an over-eager nod. as soon as you took off your top, his lips automatically attached to your right nipple, taking it between his teeth, while his other hand fondled your left breast. you leaned your head back in ecstacy. you messily grind on his thigh, craving the feeling of something on your heat.
“fuck, soobin.” you cry out, as he moans against your breast, sending chills down your spine.
you tighten your previously loose grip on his dick, stroking him to a steady rhythm. you could feel him get closer and closer and before you knew it, he was shooting his cum on your hands. “fuck,” he whined.
“we need to clean up, my brother is going to be back any minute.”
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cartierre · 1 year
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GOLDEN RETRIEVER | ls18
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SOCIAL MEDIA!AU lance stroll x fem!reader
side note: i am so obsessed with lance as of lately so... this really hit different. thank you @lovelytsunoda for saving the day!
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♡ liked by chloestroll, lance_stroll, scottyjames31 and 98,293 others
tagged: lance_stroll
yourusername g'day australia!
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user1 dexter is so adorable! ⤷ user2 i need a dexter and roscoe collab right now!
user3 i hope dexter had a save flight!
lance_stroll all these comments are about how cute dexter is but have you seen me on the last slide? ⤷ yourusername the cutest!
danielricciardo your australian accent is getting better with every gp ⤷ scottyjames31 i agree ⤷ yourusername i have the best teachers
user4 is dexter going to have his own instagram account?
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♡ liked by yourusername, lance_stroll, lewishamilton and 57,873 others
roscoelovescoco tis my new friend everybody's: dexter!
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user5 this is the crossover i needed
user6 ah omg i love that they like each other! ⤷ user7 best duo on the grid
user8 every time i read roscoe's captions i get a seizure
yourusername i think dexter would love another playdate in the future! ⤷ roscoelovescoco i love's that!
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♡ liked by danielricciardo, lance_stroll, lewishamilton and 88,923 others
tagged: lance_stroll
yourusername miami really tired out our sweet boy
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user9 maybe this is a sign that you shouldn't drag him everywhere with you ⤷ user10 nobody says anything when roscoe attends races but with dexter you people suddenly care? ⤷ user11 i think they know their dog's limits the best
user12 is that soda he's drinking? ⤷ yourusername don't worry, it's water!
lance_stroll is the caption about me or dex? ⤷ yourusername free ✨ interpretation ✨
user13 i love how dexter doesn't have his own instagram because y/n's profile is actually turning into dexter's
user14 why is everyone hating on how y/n and lance raise their own dog?
user15 isn't he just the cutest!? dog parents of the year
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♡ liked by chloestroll, lance_stroll, danielricciardo and 101,003 others
tagged: chloestroll, scottyjames31, lance_stroll
yourusername most beautiful wedding with the most beautiful newlyweds
view all 637 comments
user16 i'm so envious to everyone who attended this wedding!!! ⤷ user17 fr the vibes are everything
chloestroll ❤️️❤️️
user18 i think this is the first post in ages without dexter ⤷ user19 they probably thought it would be better to not take him with them
scottyjames31 next time yours? ⤷ yourusername i think someone's taking his sweet time to propose
user20 DID Y/N JUST SAY SHE'D BE READY TO GET MARRIED TO LANCE? ⤷ user21 they've been together for quite some time, moved in together and have a dog...
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♡ liked by chloestroll, lance_stroll, scottyjames31 and 110,739 others
tagged: lance_stroll
yourusername i think dexter wants us to be an official family
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user22 OMG HE PULLED THROUGH ⤷ user23 lance is one lucky guy
scottyjames31 guess there will be a new mrs. stroll soon ⤷ yourusername i'm stepping into your shoes
chloestroll i hope lance and i picked out a good ring ⤷ yourusername a family of taste
user24 i am obsessed that lance took his sister to shop for y/n's ring ⤷ user25 sibling goals ⤷ user26 i'm more obsessed that he proposed at the canadian gp, his home race! perfect timing
lance_stroll makes the candian gp even more special.. i love you, dexter loves you as well ⤷ yourusername i love youuu ❤️️❤️️
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katsutora · 1 year
Text
— HEED
ft. isagi yoichi ; itoshi rin ; nagi seishiro ; bachira meguru ; chigiri hyōma ; itoshi sae
summary: how they are when you’re busy but they’re not
note: did you call, egoist? your fluff writer could only be me. NO JK ashsjdjahahah i love you guys sm though! thanks for the support! <3
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⚘ ISAGI YOICHI
ㅤㅤthe sanest one a very decent one. idles somewhere near you because he doesn’t want to bother you, but obviously keeps tabs on you and will bring you snacks and drinks once in a while. a walking convenient store. will also drape a blanket over your shoulders when he notices it’s getting cold. sooo attentive 1000/10. he loves helping you so he’ll definitely feel honored if you ask for his contribution — though it’ll catch him off-guard too. “yoichi.” “!!” he can be funny like that. will carry you to bed regardless of whether not you fall asleep at the end. chef’s kiss. in conclusion: get you an isagi yoichi.
⚘ ITOSHI RIN
ㅤㅤgets... surprisingly clingy? yep, he’s battling his pride. whenever he’s mustered up enough courage to call your name, it’s instantly defeated by his overthinking and so the words died out in his throat. looks like a lost puppy just sitting there in the corner of the room. the embodiment of a CCTV, watchtower incarnate. very quiet too it’s kind of unsettling. when you finally turn to look at him, he’s going to pretend as if he didn’t spend the past thirty minutes trying to figure out how to get your attention. “rin, haven’t you watched this match five times already?” “and? you took five whole hours finishing up one lukewarm task.” gasp. man needs a subtitle like [you didn’t give me any attention for five hours straight and now i'm sad]. is down bad for cuddles and horror movie night but only if you ask him lmfao.
⚘ NAGI SEISHIRO
ㅤㅤdoesn’t care. flops on top of you. needs to be constantly reminded that he is, in fact, 190cm. NAPS in that position if you still don’t give him attention (a menace fr). spends the entire day attached to your hip like that. no but in all seriousness, he only pesters you like this if he thinks you’re overworking yourself. will just drag a seat beside you and go about his day (re: ranking up in games and watching matches chigiri recommended to him + annoying barou in the group chat) if you’re just finishing a task. fidgets with your fingers the moment he finds your hand idling; leans his head on your shoulder when his game character dies. good for you.
⚘ BACHIRA MEGURU
ㅤㅤcurious on what’s gotten you so caught up that he didn’t see you around the house for hours. once he realizes you’re doing some work, he immediately channels his inner motivational speaker. your #1 supporter fr. “you go!” “you can do it!” “you’re doing great!” but he kinda derailed halfway through so … “eat 3 square meals per day!” “get 8 hours of sleep!” “drink 8 glasses of water!” ?? sure, that’s probably just his way of telling you not to forget to take care of yourself. oh and he’s also made himself comfortable in a blanket fort that’s definitely not sloppily constructed to persuade you to take a break. BSJDBKSNDKS !! d-did something just collapse? “meguru?” *MUFFLED SCREAMING*
⚘ CHIGIRI HYŌMA
ㅤㅤyour cup: *exists* ; chigiri: *slowly pushing it to the edge* lmao. likes to think he’s very patient (not at all he's kinda bored). tried calling your name four times to no avail. the first one was only met with a short reply, then you merely hummed in response to the second and third one. got hella confused when you finally didn’t react at all. at some point, he found himself laying his head on your lap, somehow managing to squeeze in between you and the desk. how? kept staring at you trying to catch your attention but you wouldn’t budge, so he resorted to booping your nose. occasionally reaches a hand across your face to test your patience focus. congratulations, you have a house cat.
⚘ ITOSHI SAE
ㅤㅤit’s only fair that he finds himself right beside you just like you’ve always been there beside him — every step of the way. he’s doing random stuffs to pass the time: scrolling through his phone, ignoring rin’s texts, watching a game, reading a magazine, etc. mmm what’s that second one again? will tuck your hair away for you if it’s falling onto your face. places a hand over the sharp corner of the table to protect your head when you’re trying to grab something from the floor. will stay up with you if you’re determined to finish up the work despite having an early morning practice tomorrow. “aren’t you tired, sae?” “aren’t you?” “not at all because you’re here with me.” yk who’s tired? his manager having to reschedule all his appointments because he ended up oversleeping. help.
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© 2023 katsutora ; do not repost and/or translate and/or claim my works
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jomteaaa · 5 days
Note
Heeello, how r u? I hope u r doing well ^^
This is an emergency request soo pleaseee write it asap 🙏🏽
Its abt tsukishima kei’s gf who’s very stressed out abt her final exams that she forgets to take care of herself
a/n: i wish you all the best for your exams!! i hope this will be comforting in some ways. i fr tried my best to finish and make sure it still seems alright. just some headcanons on it:
tsukishima leaves a cup of either hot or cold water, whichever you prefer, beside you on the table as you study, and he refills it when he sees it empty.
it doesn't matter if his final exams are around the corner too, and as much as he believes his studies are important, he prioritises you over it.
if he notices that the water level hasn't changed after some time, he slides it over till it's right in your line of sight. "drink, pipsqueak."
if you tell him "later", he'd drags you away from your work by the chair leg and shoves the cup into your hands.
he leaves you alone once you drink at least half the cup of water, but not without a kiss on the top of your head and a squeeze on your shoulder before heading to refill it.
it's harder to get you to eat food though, let alone actual meals, so he resorts to leaving you comfort food or something filling alongside with the cup of water next to you.
if you refuse to eat, he'll again pull you aside to eat, and in some extremely rare times, begrudgingly feeds you himself.
"the things i do for you." "don't do it then, i didn't ask you to." "...no."
you two share earpieces with one of his many playlists running.
he likes to rest a hand on your thigh when he's studying, only pulling away if he really needs to use it, but be assured it always returns back to its place.
everyone knows tsukishima suck as a tutor, with his impatience and all, and it's not like he cares anyways. he doesn't wish to be one. but for you, he tries to be nicer.
"not so dumb now, are we?" and his signature smirk.
when he takes a break from his books and notes, he makes you take one with him too. it's not optional.
"you've been studying for the past few hours already. study any more and you'll actually self destruct."
he either pulls you by the wrist or distracts you with a kiss. you obviously prefer the latter.
wait wait wait imagine him standing behind your chair and he tilts your head up by the chin (albeit roughly knowing you and your stubborn ass) and kisses you YKYK
ok but continuing on, he pulls you to his bed and just cuddles with you, with the earpieces still on.
you'll rant to him as he plays with your hair in silence, with a bit of input here and there.
if you breakdown from the stress, he's there holding your face in his hands and wiping away your tears with his thumbs, placing a few butterfly kisses on your forehead, your cheeks and your nose, again in silence.
he doesn't know what to say during these times, and sometimes, he doesn't have to. his actions are enough.
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majimemegoro · 6 months
Text
Kamurocho dashboard simulator
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🏵 tojoc0re Follow
nishiki was 27 years old???
🏵 tojoc0re Follow
he shouldnt have been made a patriarch the dragon of dojima would of been better at it :/
( 420 notes )
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📸 daily-mac-photos Follow
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#kamurocho #tokyo #tenkaichi street #japan landscapes #photographers of japan #travel #cyberpunk #not as zesty as my usual subject matter but #lmao pls reblog this i almost got beat up by color gang members taking this photo
( 79 notes )
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🦢 chinpiraposting Follow
my hungry ass can't be left alone with staminam x i suck those bad boys down like juice
( 9,839 notes )
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🚲 wackycyclist Follow
.
#the entitlement i see on this site sometimes is disgusting #y'all will just post about having easy access to bicycles??? #some of us had our bicycles wrecked in fights??? #vent #do not rb
( 3 notes )
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🗡 koinodiscoqueen Follow
CALLOUT FOR SHIMANO FUTOSHI
I've talked a lot about this already on this blog, but I want to have everything collected in one post so next time some dipshit with a hannya hand icon slides into my inbox to call me a liar I can just link to this post. tl;dr shimano futoshi made my cousin feel realy unsafe while she was shaving his head, and here are the receipts:
Keep reading
( 38 notes )
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🚡 matsushigeboss-deactivated30190547
fr we need to stop letting twunks be in charge of anything
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( 3 notes )
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🍜 i<3kazama Follow
i stg if one more of you tells me the old yakuza way is dying I KNOW ALREADY shut UP
#feel like pure shit just want cold noodles
( 1,930 notes )
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📖 kamuroscamwatch Follow
today's scam: Aha water (again)
Was walking down pink street when I got stopped by a barker who promised that all my problems could be solved..., long story short, anyone remember Aha water from the 80s? Well, they rebranded as AHA water (subtle, I know) and they''re back at it. I stalked the people who make it and they literally collected puddle water from the champion district to put in the concoction. I didn't really feel well after drinking it, but the overall experience was good because they totally tapped into that nostalgia. Overall a really solid scam. Stay safe out there kamurocho.
4/5 stars
#scamblr #aha water #1980s #scams #scam rating #safety #scam review
( 12 notes )
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👺 hannya69 Follow
batting center is a normal place to get nastay in reblog if u agree
( 58,274 notes )
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🚗 thepocketcricuitfighter Follow
Does anyone here still play pocket circuit? :)
( 0 notes )
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📈 reglarsalaryman Follow
wtf this guy just ripped off his shirt in the street and started whaling on some guys?? everyone else started clapping and cheering and I just went along with it lmao 😅 am I missing something????
#this is right after he sang a song and saved a couple from jumping off a building #he was glowing too.... #average night in kamurocho
( 85 notes )
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🐛 majimaunderlingbaddiebracket Follow
ULTIMATE HOTTEST MAJIMA UNDERLING BADDIE TOURNAMENT FINALS!!!!
🔘 shinji-deactivated30190303
here y'all go again pitting two bad bitches against each other
🌀 jingusforehead Follow
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🌊 thugbaby Follow
everyone who voted minami is an arson apologist #nishidasweep
( 4,271 notes )
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🔥 businessboi Follow
fuck my job so much. everyone manifest an attack on millennium tower so I can go home.
🔥 businessboi Follow
by talos this can't be happening
( 38,386 notes )
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14dayswithyou · 7 days
Note
Meowdy Saint! ^^ lolol hello hello o/ hope you are doing good!!
So this masterpiece of a game has been invading my mind with ZERO chill lately which directly translated to me coming up with a TON of questions orz I really didn't realize how many I ended up compiling lol
If you don't feel like answering this many please feel absolutely free to ignore this ask or only answer the ones you like the most, the last thing I want is for you to feel overwhelmed! ^^
ALRIGHT LET'S-A GO
-do Rendacted's memories remain intact when he resets the day or do his wipe too with everyone else's? Also is there an in-universe answer for why he has these glitchy powers or is he just Built Different™?
-if angel made it VERY clear that they would be mad asf and prolly even start hating and leave Ren/[REDACTED] if he were to hurt their friends(or killing people bc this man needs to chill fr), would he listen to them? Bc I know that if he touches Violet, Elanor, Kiara or god forbid Moth I'm personally deleting his kneecaps 🥰
-since it seems to me that Ren/[REDACTED] is only kinda meh at cooking I was wondering if he actually made the not burnt pancakes in day 3 or if he had some store bought ones that he passed off as his own lol
-does he know how to give massages? :00
-during day 1, how did Ren come up with a book on the local flora?? It seems like such a random topic to pick when put on the spot without already having a genuine interest in it lmao
-if I understood correctly Maple should be Jae's dog right?? Did you have a specific breed or age in mind when creating her? I got curious because in my head she automatically popped up as a young australian shepherd to match with Jae's hyperactive dumbass energy lol❀⸜(˶´ ˘ `˶)⸝❀
-staying on the dog topic lol, in day 1 when angel gets up from the couch to get Ren the inflatable mattress(iirc) and he follows right behind them i immediately thought he acted like a puppy lmao. So would he mind being called 'puppy' as a pet name?
(I am not sure if this⬇️ questions falls under character deaths, if it does I really apologize and absolutely feel free to ignore it ^^)
-from an ask from last year it seems [REDACTED] would ultimately kill angel if there was ultimately not way to enter in their life?? Gotta say I was very taken aback by this, would this still be the case after a year of building more to his character? (Ok I went back to check the ask again but I can't for the life of me find it anymore maybe I dreamt it up idk😭😭 im really sorry if that is the case jdkslajdl)
-uuhh I know there is already a lot in this ask(im seriously sorry orz), but I was wondering if we will eventually get an SFW alphabet for Ren/[REDACTED] for the folks who don't care about the nasty 👉👈
-THIS IS THE LAST THING I PROMISE 👹 will there be a guide to get all the endings? I'm not sure if there is one already and in that case I missed it 100%
Also I find it ironic how the fandom is trying to find out every single aspect of Ren/[REDACTED]'s character the same way he must do with angel lmao
ALRIGHT THATS ALL IM SO SORRY FOR ASKING SO MUCH THE REN BRAINROT HOURS ARE SO REAL IM LOSING BRAINCELLS orz Remember to take care of yourself drink water and take breaks!! ദ്ദി ˉ͈̀꒳ˉ͈́ )✧
(Also sorry if some phrases don't make sense, english isn't my first language as I am 🤌 lolol)
✦゜ANSWERED: Under da cut because this got long >:3
-do Rendacted's memories remain intact when he resets the day or do his wipe too with everyone else's? Also is there an in-universe answer for why he has these glitchy powers or is he just Built Different™? Ren's memories remain intact!! I mean... He remembers each time you get a bad end and sometimes says something different... >:3 There is also an in-universe reason as to why he has his abilities — I won't spoil anything, but his real name (along with River's and one other character) have a reeeeally big tell. But what this tell is is for me to know and you to find out >:3
-if angel made it VERY clear that they would be mad asf and prolly even start hating and leave Ren/[REDACTED] if he were to hurt their friends(or killing people bc this man needs to chill fr), would he listen to them? Bc I know that if he touches Violet, Elanor, Kiara or god forbid Moth I'm personally deleting his kneecaps 🥰 Ren (and by extension [REDACTED]) knows not to harm anyone if he knows you won't like it — and even then — he won't actively show that murderous side of him in the first place. To Angel, Ren is just a timid, normal guy.
-since it seems to me that Ren/[REDACTED] is only kinda meh at cooking I was wondering if he actually made the not burnt pancakes in day 3 or if he had some store bought ones that he passed off as his own lol Ren is actually good at cooking, he's just a bit out of touch since he doesn't normally cook for himself! It's normally microwave meals or takeout for him... ^^; And yes, Ren did burn and burn the pancakes in Day 3 — he was distracted by something on his phone :3
Bonus cut Day 3 content: I took out the scene where Ren started to profusely apologise for burning the pancake because he often had to cook when he was younger. Given the dynamic of his family and the environment he grew up in, Ren didn't have much room to make mistakes ;n; I cut this scene out because I felt bad ksgskd So y'all get to have flustered, happy Ren instead!!
-does he know how to give massages? :00 If that was one of Angel's interests or desires, then sure!! ^^
-during day 1, how did Ren come up with a book on the local flora?? It seems like such a random topic to pick when put on the spot without already having a genuine interest in it lmao Someone else likes flora too, and it sure would be funny if Ren (eventually) starts to mimic certain traits and interests of the person you have the highest affinity/relationship points with in order to make himself look more appealing… >:3c
-if I understood correctly Maple should be Jae's dog right?? Did you have a specific breed or age in mind when creating her? I got curious because in my head she automatically popped up as a young australian shepherd to match with Jae's hyperactive dumbass energy lol❀⸜(˶´ ˘ `˶)⸝❀ It was mentioned in Jae's lore post (I'll link it here once I find it), but Maple is a Labrador! (Leon would be Jae's Australian Shepherd hehe) In my mind, Maple is only 2 or 3 years old, but that wouldn't really fit the official timeframe... ^^; Jae adopted Maple during high school so he wouldn't feel lonely at home, and it's been over 6+ years since then.... hgdshjg
-staying on the dog topic lol, in day 1 when angel gets up from the couch to get Ren the inflatable mattress(iirc) and he follows right behind them i immediately thought he acted like a puppy lmao. So would he mind being called 'puppy' as a pet name? Angel affectionately calls Ren a puppy during the scene in Day 1 where they meet up after work, so that nickname definitely could work!
-from an ask from last year it seems [REDACTED] would ultimately kill angel if there was ultimately not way to enter in their life?? Gotta say I was very taken aback by this, would this still be the case after a year of building more to his character? (Ok I went back to check the ask again but I can't for the life of me find it anymore maybe I dreamt it up idk😭😭 im really sorry if that is the case jdkslajdl) aaa I think you might be mistaking that ask for something else? ;v; [REDACTED] would NEVER harm Angel in any capacity, and they're a very patient person. Even if it took decades for Angel to fall in love with him, they'll wait.
-uuhh I know there is already a lot in this ask(im seriously sorry orz), but I was wondering if we will eventually get an SFW alphabet for Ren/[REDACTED] for the folks who don't care about the nasty 👉👈 You're fine!! And I'm open to doing that! I'll add it to my list hehe
-THIS IS THE LAST THING I PROMISE 👹 will there be a guide to get all the endings? I'm not sure if there is one already and in that case I missed it 100% I've shared a spreadsheet that lists all the available choices, the points you earn from each of them, and the endings you can get — however it's only available on Discord and I don't really want to share it outside of the server and potentially put it in the hands of minors. Sorry!!
Also I find it ironic how the fandom is trying to find out every single aspect of Ren/[REDACTED]'s character the same way he must do with angel lmao Hehe >:3 There's a loooot of lore that won't ever be mentioned in the game (since it doesn't seem fitting/I don't see a reason to), so I'm happy to provide it here!
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nolita-fairytale · 1 year
Text
comfort & chaos | carmy berzatto x fem!reader | chapter four: 2/22/22
summary: carmy receives bad news that changes his life forever, while you're relationship with him comes to a head. (the five times carmen berzatto fell in love with you a little and the one time he finally told you)
warnings: explicit sexual content (18+ only), death, grief, mentions of suicide, no use of y/n, she/her pronouns, drinking & smoking, suggestive language
word count: 5.5k
listen to: hurting kind - del water gap | robbers - the 1975 | hostages - the howl & the hum
a/n: i need therapy after writing this. so sorry bbs love you all. ok but fr, i thought that i was going to write a smut scene that was not going to be hot bc we know it's canon that carmy does not fuck and then it ended up being really hot and i'm once again asking for therapy.
read: chapter three
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2/22/22
Something happened. Can you come over?
That’s all the text said. It’s all that needed to be said for you to drop everything you were doing and hop on the subway. Your heart is pounding in your chest as you imagine every single worst case scenario possible. Carmy had given you little context in regards to what this was about, and you almost regret not asking as your mind runs rampant with possibilities. Not that he would’ve given you an answer. Something about him seemed different. He’d never sent that urgent of a text. 
Not even when the restaurant was slammed and he needed you to come in on your day off. 
Something happened. 
The words continue to echo in your head until you reach him. 
You're at Carmy’s doorstep faster than you ever thought your feet could carry you, and when he opens the door for you, your heart breaks. He’s wrecked. His face is a flushed red, though you don’t think it’s from crying, and he looks like he hasn’t washed his fuckin’ hair in days. You take in his somber expression, like all of the joy he’s ever experienced has been sucked out of him. 
Carmy steps aside, allowing him into your apartment. 
He mumbles something you can barely hear, gesturing towards the couch, so you follow him, taking a seat on the crappy couch you’ve come to love. He stares at the floor, his eyes cold and empty, as you sit in silence. 
It’s you who breaks it, bursting at the seams with anxiety.
“Carmy, you’re scaring me,” you say softly. 
He keeps his eyes fixed on the floor as he licks his lips, swallowing as he opens his mouth to say something. It’s a few moments later that he’s finally able to put two words together to tell you what happened. 
“It’s Michael,” is all he manages to get out. You can hear the break in his voice when he utters Michael’s name, and you’re terrified of what he’s going to say next. 
“Your brother?” you ask, secretly hoping he won’t say yes. 
You feel your stomach drop. 
Carmy nods slowly, “Yeah.” 
He takes a few beats before saying anything else, his head swimming. On one hand it doesn’t feel real, and if he doesn’t say it out loud, maybe it won’t be. There’s a part of him that still thinks this is some cruel, sick joke that Mikey cooked up, just to fuck with him. 
But he knows it’s real. He could hear it in the way that Sugar’s voice broke on the phone. He could hear it in the way that Richie practically screamed at him to stop being such a fuckin’ cuck and come home. He knows it’s real, because for the first time in years, his mom’s called him. 
Must be Sugar or something calling from her phone for her…. ‘S gotta be, he thinks to himself. 
“He’s-,” Carmy starts, before stopping again. Carmy looks away, in the opposite direction of you, focusing his eyes on something outside of the window. 
He can’t look at you because if he looks at you, he might lose it. 
“He’s dead.”
“Oh Carmy,” you gasp, your heart wrenching in your chest as the words leave his mouth. You reach out to touch him, but he flinches, pulling away from you. 
“No,” is all he says through gritted teeth. 
You cannot touch me. You cannot make me feel better about this because I’ll have to feel worse about this, is what he wants to say. 
“The fuckin’ asshole shot himself on the State Street bridge. I don’t-, you don’t get to make me feel better about this,” he snaps, his tone almost a warning. 
“Fuck,” you sigh, sitting up straight and leaning towards him. He may not want your comforts, so you’re going to give your presence. He had asked you to come over after all, right? “I’m so sorry.”
“Don’t be,” he says, coldly. 
His response is jarring, leaving an unsavory taste in your mouth. You understand that he’s just gotten the most unimaginable news, but it doesn’t sit right with that he’s taking it out on you either. Is that why he invited you over? To be his punching bag? Instead, you decide to pivot to crisis control-mode, hoping to remedy some of the animosity he’s harboring. 
“Okay, well, I’ll call Kate and let her know that you can’t come in tonight, if that helps. Just so you don’t have to-,” you suggest. 
“Why would you fucking do that?” he yells, snapping his head towards you as he finally turns towards you. You can see it in his eyes: how angry and devastated he is – at Michael, at what happened – and even though you know it’s not personal, it stings all the same.
“Because!” you shout back. “Carmy, you just found out-... something terrible. I just don’t think you should-.”
“Yeah, well you don’t get to tell me what to do. You’re not my mom and you’re not my girlfriend so,” he’s quick to retort, rebelliously. 
You scoff at him, shaking your head in utter disbelief.
“You’ve got some fucking nerve, Carmen,” you cut him off with a yell. You know he’s hurting, but this is where you draw the line. “I’m well aware that I am not your girlfriend, but I am your friend, and I care about you.”
You’re right. 
He knows you’re right. 
He knows he’s being a dick, but it’s like he can’t stop his own rage from spilling out sideways as yells:
“Well, if you don’t want to be here, then get out!”
“Stop it!” you cut him off, venom in your voice. 
Carmy looks at you, his bloodshot eyes wide with utter despair. 
“You called me, Carmy. So shut the fuck up and let me fucking help,” you lower your voice, bringing the confrontation between the two of you back down. 
With his eyes fixed to the floor, his mind zoning out to numb the pain, he manages to get out, “I don’t want to-. I need to go to work tonight.”
“I really don’t think that’s a good idea,” you plead softly, yet firmly. 
“Yeah, well, you don’t get to make that decision,” he dismisses. 
He’s right. You don’t. 
“Yeah, okay,” you sigh, giving in. 
It’s a horrible idea – for Carmy to go into the restaurant – but you know he’s going to do it anyway. 
“What can I do for you in the meantime?”
“I just-, I don’t think I can be alone right now,” he mumbles, averting his eyes once again. “Can you just like… sit here with me? Till we gotta go?”
“Yeah.”
The afternoon passes slowly, and you feel like the both of you have been lit on fire – only a matter of time before you burn his whole place down. As you’re getting ready to leave, Carmy sprints into the bathroom, emptying what little contents he has in his stomach into the toilet. You’d been aware that he’d been having some trouble – throwing up before work – but he’d refused to see a doctor. Another decision he’d made clear wasn’t yours to make. What you weren’t aware of was that it had gotten this bad.
Like you’d imagined, going into the restaurant had been a mistake. It hadn’t taken long for Carmy to blow up at a line cook, mid-shift, over an undercooked duck breast. Sure, it was a big mistake, but Carmy had sent the line cook home after making a very public example of them. After the event, Tim had urged Carmy to take a break, offering to expedite for a few, while you rushed him into the walk-in. 
“Hey! You can’t do this shit. Not here. These people look up to you!” you chastise him. 
“He’s a fucking idiot! How do you undercook a fucking-,” Carmy yells, his face twisted into a look of disgust.  
“Carmy!” you shout, stopping him mid-sentence. 
You both know this is not about the duck breast. 
You share a moment of silence together, the cold of the walk-in leaving goosebumps on your skin. You lower your voice, a quiet and intentional demand leave your lips as you instruct:
“Listen, I’m going to give you five minutes to fuckin’ lose it in here, and then you’ve gotta pull it together and finish dinner service, okay?” 
He nods in response, his lips pressed together in a thin, tight line. You watch him pace a few times, before he clutches at his chest, his breathing becoming more uneven. 
This is why coming in had been the worst idea ever. 
“Carmy, are you o-?" you start, genuinely worried about him. You feel like your head is spinning. Carmy is losing control and all you can do is watch. 
He holds out a hand, as if to stop you from coming any closer, so reluctantly, you leave him to it, closing the door behind you. The sound of empty storage containers being thrown across the walk-in fills your ears, as you close the door to the walk-in behind you. You feel like your heart is caught in your throat and watching him go through this is more painful than you could’ve ever imagined. You take a deep breath before returning to your station, keeping your head down for the rest of the shift. 
Dinner service is pure chaos as Carmy undulates from unbroken focus to volatile and unpredictable throughout making the evening hell for the rest of you. The tension is thick, and it’s as if everyone is walking on eggshells around him, more so than normal. By the time it’s over, you insist on walking Carmy home. You make a stop at your favorite deli near his apartment to pick up a quart container of matzo ball soup on the way.
“You gotta eat something,” you encourage, the silence in his apartment deafening.
You’re met with silence as he stares blankly at the table in front of him, his spoon dipped into the soup. Instead, you sit with him, watching him take a few sips of the broth, while the actual food in the soup goes untouched. He doesn’t have the stomach for it. 
He doesn’t know if he has the stomach for this either. 
All of this. Any of this. 
You eventually give in, packing up the soup to put in the fridge for another day, even though you know he’ll probably just toss it when you leave. Just when you think it’s time for you to go, he stops you with the most tender touch to your arm, as he asks:
“Stay?” 
His eyes are watery, and although he’s going to let himself cry yet, he looks more vulnerable than he’s looked all day. How could you say no?
“Yeah,” you agree. 
You change into one of your favorite t-shirts of his and the pair of sweatpants that he always seems to give you as you get ready for bed. He doesn’t even wear them anymore, as if he knows they’ve become your favorite… as if they’ve just become yours. You spend the evening with the TV on, not talking, just sitting in each others’ company. You watch as he smokes a cigarette inside, stress-running a hand through his slicked back hair from his shift earlier. 
Tonight feels heavy. 
Tonight is heavy. 
Before bed, you fill up a glass of water for him, before placing it on his bedside table. Carmy lays on his back, staring up at the ceiling, as you crawl into bed with him. 
He’s too afraid to his close his eye, because if he closes his eyes he’ll picture it: the State Street bridge, Michael…. 
How could he? he thinks to himself, the bitter taste of betrayal welling up at the bottom of his throat. 
You close your eyes, trying your best to fall asleep next to Carmy – something that feels like an impossible task when you can practically hear him thinking out loud beside you. Instead, the two of you just lay there, frozen in silence. You’re not sure how long you’ve been doing it for when you feel Carmy shift closer to you. 
He turns to you so tenderly, practically folding himself into your body, earning the smallest gasp of surprise from you. You’ve never seen him like this as he buries his face into your chest, his body shaking against yours. It’s then that you realize he’s crying, and you know it’s highly likely that this is the first time he’s cried since he heard the news. 
“Carm?” you whisper, unsure if he wants you to acknowledge it or not. 
“Carmy.” 
But he doesn’t respond. He just cries. 
So you let him. 
“I’m so sorry, Carm. I’m so sorry,” you whisper, over and over again. 
You stroke his hair, wanting nothing more than to ease the pain of your best friend, but you know there isn’t much you can do. Instead, you let him cry, running your fingers along his scalp and through his delicate curls, desperate to give him any kind of comfort you can. This is breaking your heart. You fight the tears coming to your eyes because this is so not about you right now. 
Carmy’s body shakes against yours as he finally lets go, surrendering to the huge waves of pain and grief that crash and pull him under. He feels like he’s being taken under a riptide, never to see the surface again. He knows he’s been wildly unfair to you and as he weeps against your body and he’s not sure what he’s done to deserve someone like you. 
Someone who chooses to say, even when he’s being a dick. 
Someone who cares enough to fight with him. 
Someone who cares for him like this. 
When he finally looks up at you with bloodshot eyes and swollen lips, all he can think to do is to kiss you. 
It catches you off guard as he surges forward, pressing his lips against yours, that for a moment, you let him. 
But reality hits and you’re afraid he’s gotten too carried away, swept up in a moment of grief. 
“Carmy, stop it. You’re not-, you’re not okay right now,” you murmur, pushing him away.
He leans his head against your chest again with a sigh, letting out another sob, almost as if he’s given up on the idea. You feel like he’s put you in an impossible position. You’d have been lying if you said you didn’t want to – hadn’t thought about kissing him before – but this felt wrong. He was vulnerable, and you know you’ll both regret it in the morning. 
“I’m sorry, Carm,” you apologize quietly. “I just feel like-, well I’d feel like I'd be taking advantage. I don’t think we should.”
His silence only makes you more nervous, beginning to over explain yourself.
“It’s not that I don’t want to. I-, I do. I just… I don’t want you to regret it because… because you’re upset right now and cause you more-.”
“Please,” is all he says, cutting you off mid-sentence. With the way he’s looking at you, like you’re the sun, the moon, and you hang the stars, you’re not sure how to say no. 
Carmy leans in to kiss you once more before whispering mere inches away from your lips:
“Please.”
He presses his lips against yours again, immediately regretting his past self for not doing this sooner. He’s never tasted anything sweeter than you, and the way you kiss him back seems to bring all thoughts flooding his brain to a halt.
In between kisses you manage enough self control to stammer out, “Are you- are you sure? Is this really what you-?”
“Yes,” he replies, as if it’s a declaration.
“I’ve wanted this for so long. Just-, please,” he pleads, murmuring your name into the soft kisses he begins to leave across your collarbone. “Just wanna feel good.”
“Just wanna feel good,” he repeats. 
You surrender, letting go of your own ambivalence as you focus on the way his lips feel against your skin. It’s then that you realize what absolute fucking idiots the two of you had been for the past few years by ignoring this thing between the two of you. For a moment, you’ll tear down the walls, the rigid boundaries that you’ve kept to help you compartmentalize your relationship with Carmy. 
There’s no possibility of hiding from it when his body feels this good so close to yours. 
The truth is that you are fully, wholly, and stupidly in love with each other. 
“Yes,” you parrot.
With your confirmation, his mouth is back on yours, as you’re pulling him on top of you, deeper into your shared passionate liplock. He wonders why he’s denied himself the pleasure of having you, for this goddamn long. His tongue slides against yours, a tender hand moving up to cup your face. The way his name sounds tumbling out of your mouth sends him into a frenzy. It feels absolutely intoxicating and he can’t get enough. 
Carmy’s hands begin to wander, fingertips sliding at an experimental pace underneath the hem of the t-shirt you’re wearing. You shudder against his touch, gasping as you anticipate where this is going. 
Carmy raises his head to look at you, not sure if it’s a good thing or not. 
“This okay?” he asks you, concern evident in his voice. 
“Yeah,” you nod, giving him permission. “Yeah.”
“Okay,” he whispers.
And then he’s kissing you again, dragging calloused fingertips up and down your torso underneath the shirt, hesitantly making their way to where they’d like to be. You’re not wearing a bra, he realizes, as his fingertips find soft, supple skin at the rounded bottom of your breast. He follows the shape of it, before bringing a cautious palm up to grab hold of the fullness of your breast. You arch into his touch, encouraging him further. Carmy takes his time exploring your body, giving you the lightest touch as his fingertips graze your nipple. 
“Can I take this off?” he questions, only willing to move forward if you say yes.
You nod, breathlessly, “Please.”
You watch as he sits up, pushing the hem of your shirt up over your breasts, revealing your bare body to him. He has to hold back a groan, swallowing hard. 
Carmy stops what he’s doing, in pure awe of you, as he marvels at you. He can’t believe this is real: that you’re here, laying in his bed, allowing him to do the things he thought could only live in his head. 
“You’re so fucking beautiful,” are the words that tumble out of his mouth and you think you may cry. 
“Touch me,” you whisper desperately, begging him to come back to you. 
“Touch me, Carmy.”
Carmy lays his body over yours, and you spread your legs wider, allowing him to fit perfectly between them. He begins to roll his hips against yours as he returns his attention back to your bare breasts. He drags his fingertips over your erect nipples, following his touch with his mouth. 
He practically groans as he wraps his lips around one of your nipples, earning a strangled whine from you as his hot, wet mouth engulfs you. 
“Carmy,” you moan, arching into him. 
He’s rolling his hips against your clothed core on pure instinct, as he takes his time, now exploring unfamiliar territory with his lips and his tongue. You find a good rhythm as he continues to drag his mouth over you, grinding your hips into his underneath your remaining clothes. He’s surprisingly good at this – something you hadn’t expected considering he’d let you know he didn’t have much experience when it came to dating. You assumed that that meant sexually as well. 
As Carmy moves to your other breast, you feel one of his hands snake under the elastic waistband of your sweatpants, lifting his hips so he can feel you. You know you’ve soaked through your cotton panties from the anticipation, and it goes right to his dick as he feels just how wet you are. He doesn’t have much experience with this, but he’s seen in porn. He begins to rub circles across your clothed core, while he busies his mouth with exploring your other breast. 
But he’s not quite where you want him.
“Wait,” you say, stopping him. 
Had he just gotten caught up in the moment?
Did you not want to go this far?
“Did I do something wrong?” he asks you, a concerned tone in his voice. 
“No,” you’re quick to reassure him, shaking your head. “No, I just-.”
Instead of explaining, you reach down to grab his hand, guiding him just a little higher up to your clit. He presses the rough pad of his index finger against it, finally touching you where you need him, gasping to let him know that he’s found the right spot. His eyes are locked on you, watching your face change as the new spot you’ve shown him brings you more pleasure than he could’ve imagined. 
He practically groans into your mouth when he hears the way you whine his name, and he swears he’ll do anything to hear you say it again. 
“There?” he asks you, rubbing tight circles across your clit. 
“Yes,” you pant, growing wetter with every touch. 
Carmy pulls away just for a moment, daring to touch you underneath your panties. You’re so wet for him, and he thinks he may lose his mind as he slides his index finger in between your folds curiously.
“Take them off,” you practically demand. 
“Hm?” he hums, lost in the way you look at him with hooded lids and pupils blown out with pure desire. 
He’s never been this guy. 
The guy that gets the girl. 
He never knew he could feel like this guy, but here you are, begging him to undress you. 
“I said take them off,” you repeat yourself, more desperate this time. You take a lighter approach with what you say next, the smallest giggle in your voice. “And while you’re at it, we gotta get you naked too.” 
“Yeah,” he says, with the kind of conviction he’d say ‘heard’ with. 
He’s stripping off his shirt, and you’re sliding your pants and underwear off with him. 
“I have a condom in my emergency kit,” you say, the both of you busy shedding your clothes. 
“Yeah?” he asks you, relieved to hear it. He hadn’t thought that far yet. 
“Yeah, hold on,” you reply, getting up from the bed. 
Carmy thinks he may pass out as he watches you stand, giving him a full view of your naked body. You disappear only for a moment, before returning with the small emergency kit you always keep in your backpack. It’s equipped with all the ‘just-in-cases:’ tampons, panty liners, safety pins… condoms. You pull out a single condom before returning to the bed. Carmy’s kneeling on the bed, and you mirror his body language, doing the same. 
“What would you like to do?” you inquire softly. 
As turned on and hot for him as you are, you want to make sure that he still wants to do this. He finds himself surprised at your question, not sure how to answer it. 
“Think we can just pick up where we left off?” he asks you. 
“Yeah,” you reply. 
You place the condom down beside you on the bed, before leaning in to press your lips against his again. He inhales as you kiss him, his tongue immediately sliding against yours as one of his hands goes to the back of your head, pulling you closer to him. He’s surprised as you pull away from him, beginning to leave hot, open mouthed kisses down his neck, his chest, and he hisses in anticipation as run your hands down his muscular abdomen, following with your mouth. 
“Hold on, I uh-,” he stutters out, as he anticipates where you’re going with this. 
You pause, sitting up tall as you kneel, your body across from his. 
“I just uh… if you do that, I don’t know if I’ll last long,” he admits, a blush running across his cheeks. 
“Yeah, no. Totally cool,” you reassure him, before crashing your lips against his once again. 
As you tangle your tongues together once again, Carmy begins to lead you down towards the bed, pushing you back, and climbing on top of you. He still has his sweatpants on, so you begin to bring your hands down to them. He hisses as you cup his rock hard erection, pleasantly surprised by what you feel. 
“Wanna take these off?” you ask in between kisses. 
“Yeah,” Carmy nods, sitting up for a moment. 
You wait with baited breath as he strips his sweatpants off, wondering if he’s as thick as he feels. You’re practically pulsing, squeezing around nothing as you finally see him, Carmy, your best friend, fully naked. 
God, he’s beautiful. 
How had you not noticed how physically attractive he was? 
It’s not that you hadn’t noticed. It’s that you hadn’t let yourself think about it. 
You reach over to where you left the condom, handing it to him. Carmy takes it, a blush running across his cheeks as he rolls it on, still in disbelief that you’re about to do this. He returns to you, laying his body over top of you as you space for him once again between your legs. He’s hesitant to give you his full bodyweight as he gives you a long, passionate kiss. And before he knows it, you’re reaching down to stroke him, and he’s thrusting into your hand, his breath becoming heavier and heavier. 
You feel him as he presses his tip against you, rubbing it up and down before pushing into you. You both gasp as he gives you shallow thrusts, testing the waters, thrusting deeper into you with each one.
He pauses, exhaling as he’s fully inside of you. You’re pulsing around him, practically causing him to lose his mind with the way you feel alone.
“Fffffuck, you feel good,” he moans, trying not to cum right then and there. 
He begins giving you shallow, hesitant thrusts, unsure of himself. He wants to make you feel good. And he’s also terrified that this is going to end before it’s even properly started. 
Carmy stops again, pausing within you. 
“Sorry, I just-.” 
“No, it’s okay. Take your time.”
He’s nervous. You can tell he’s nervous and that he’s trying not to cum. 
“How about… I take control?” you suggest, hesitantly. “And that way, if you need me to stop we can um… well, you can just tell me.”
“Uh… yeah,” he agrees with a nod. “Sure.” 
Clumsily, the two of you switch positions, making sure he knows you’re okay with this. As he lies on his back, staring up at you, you straddle his hips, giving him the smallest smile. You reach down, guiding him into you once again. You gasp as he fills you, his thick cock stretching you, especially in this position. Carmy’s hands go to your hips as he watches you take him. 
“You feel really good too, Carm,” you finally say, your hands moving to his chest to brace yourself as you begin shifting your hips forward and back at the most unbearably slow pace. 
Carmy thinks he must be dreaming as he watches you ride him. His hands slide over your hips, wrapping around your body so that he can touch your butt. He’s practically digging the pads of his fingers into your hips as you begin moving over him at a faster pace. 
“Shit… you’re really good at this,” he groans, as you lean down to kiss him. 
You giggle against his lips, and whatever thoughts he has in his head disappear. Carmy begins thrusting up into you, his hands on your hips encouraging you to move a little faster as you kiss him. You’re moaning his name, whining as you feel every single inch of his cock slide against your walls, becoming more and more breathless by the minute. Your gasps turn into moans, getting higher in pitch as you go. His hands are guiding your hips, taking some control back as you grind against each other. 
“Carmy,” you cry out as he thrusts his hips hard into you. “If you keep doing that, I’m gonna cum.” 
“Yeah?” he asks. You nod, breathless, as you bury your face into his chest. 
He holds your hips down, pinning you down against him as pushing his hips into yours. 
“You wanna switch?” he asks, breathless. “Can I-?” 
“Please,” you reply eagerly.
You switch positions once more, and as Carmy guides himself into you again, you can tell he’s much more confident than last time you’d found yourself in this position. You wrap a leg around his waist and he holds you there, beginning to move his hips against yours again. He works his way up to a rapid pace, his face turning red as he does, and you’re writhing underneath his body, whispering the dirtiest things into his ear with every single thrust.
“Holy shit, Carmy. You feel so goddamn good too,” you praise him. “God, you’re gonna make me cum.”
“Yeah?” he manages to get out in between grunts. 
“Yes. Please let me cum,” you beg him, as he hits that spot inside of you, earning another loud cry. 
“Don’t stop.”
He’s surprised to learn that he likes it when you beg as he tangles his fingers with yours, pinning you down so that he can fuck you. With your hand in his, so close to your climax, you let slip:
“I thought about this too. I’ve wanted this for so long too, Carmy.”
“Fuck,” he howls as he drives into you, his sole purpose to earn more praise from you. To hear you cry out his name. To give you what you’ve been begging for. 
You angle your hips upward so that he can go even deeper, hitting all the way to the back of you. You’re grasping at his back, his arms, his biceps, hanging onto any piece of him that you can as he shudders, letting out the most guttural sounds. You’re squeezing around him, as he takes you to your high. The feeling of you cumming, squeezing around him like your life depends on it drive him wild, and he’s fucking you through it, the feeling of your orgasm bringing him to his. 
As you finally come down, you pull Carmy in for a searing kiss. 
“Holy shit, Carm,” you say, breathlessly. 
“Yeah,” he pants against your lips. 
Even if just for tonight, all feels right in the world. 
This feels right. 
*
The light of day is sobering. Before Carmy’s even had a chance to open his eyes, the events of the day before come flooding in, running in vicious circles around his mind: the phone call from Sugar, Richie screaming at him… and then…. 
Fuck. 
He’d crossed the line with you. 
He doesn’t know whether to be mad at himself or devastated that he fucked up, considering he’s sure as hell not going to let himself feel anything about Mikey yet. 
Michael. 
Michael’s dead. 
And he might’ve done the one thing he swore he wouldn’t do – the one thing that he’d been afraid of: that he might just lose you. 
As you stir in bed next to him, slowly blinking your eyes open, you turn over on your side. Carmy’s sitting on the edge of the bed and you can see Carmy’s stuck in his head. While you’d let yourself surrender to whatever that was last night, you knew today was different. 
“Hey,” is all you say, hugging Carmy’s bed sheets closer to your naked body. 
“Um… listen. We don’t have to-,” you begin, searching for the right words. “Let’s just forget about this, okay? I don’t-. You’ve got a lot going right now and-.”
You take a breath. You know the two of you can’t be together right now, even after your revelation last night. 
“I don’t want to lose you.”
Carmy swallows, fighting back the emotions that begin to swell in his chest. 
He feels sick to his stomach. 
But he doesn’t want to do this in front of you. 
“Yeah, no. We can… we can just forget it,” is all he gets out, his eyes fixed on the floor. 
“You sure?” you question. 
He takes a beat before answering:
“I don’t want to lose you either.” 
And even with the declaration you’d made – the promise to forget since neither of you could afford to lose each other – things had become different. In the weeks following, your communications with Carmy were less than normal. While you understood he was processing, grieving, he’d withdrawn from you, and it hurt more than you had the words for. 
You’d check in, making sure he knew you were here for him if he needed to talk. But he put his head down, working night after night at the restaurant, cold, stoic, and checked out. You worried about him. And you also knew that you both needed some space from each other. 
Some days you regret it – sleeping together – and other days, you don’t. You think that maybe everyone had been right about the two of you all along – that this had been inevitable. But it happened under the worst timing, the worst circumstances and you miss your best friend. You wish, in some ways, that two of you could just go back to normal.
read: chapter five
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sameschmidtdiffname · 3 months
Text
Slip
Mike Schmidt x Gender Neutral! Reader
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Summery: At some point or another, the words slip out. It's just that, naturally, you're an idiot who can't pick the right moment.
Tags: No use of Y/N, no specific pronouns for reader, night terrors, disassociation, attempted comfort, miscommunication, brief non sexual shower scene, unintentional harm, anxiety, sweet ending. (fr this time, I'm not pulling a 'Repentance.') Slight spoilers for 'Petals On The Wind' by V.C. Andrews.
Notes: I had a vision and I tried. Pls give me mercy.
                     ▪︎◇{¤♧■♧¤}◇▪︎
The night air is sweet, fresh with the smell of citrus from the soap I had used earlier that evening in my shower mixed with the damp smell of the dew forming on the grass and the leaves outside. The curtains shift slightly as the air spills into the dark room, the only light born by a small lamp clipped to the cover of my book as I read quietly.
Beside me lays Mike, facing the ceiling and looking as peaceful as he ever could. It was a relaxation that doesn't come to him in consciousness, too busy with thoughts I sometimes am not privy too. But I don't pry. I've heard most of the story from him and from Abby, and he is allowed to grieve the past alone. He knows I am always available to help him.
It had been a long day for him. He didn't need to tell me, it was obvious by the way he'd sat at the kitchen table, thinking he was alone and hands buried in his hair. I hadn't meant to spy on him, having just slipped out of my shower. He wasn't crying, but his face was pale and dreadful. The bags under his eyes a dark purple that they hadn't been earlier at dinner, and the haunted quality of his stare had increased in an alarming manner since I'd left him. Had he moved since dinner? Abby was in her room, her voice trailing quietly down the hall as she hummed to herself behind the closed door. The overhead yellow light directly above Michael made him look like a painting of doom, covered in shadows with sharp edges as dark as his thoughts.
When I guided him to bed he wouldn't talk to me. Not when I removed his shirt to change him into something clean. Not when I opened the bottle of pills he'd been able to relax on for the past couple weeks. And not when I held a glass of water to his lips, his mouth only moving to take a long drink before I guided him onto his back, where he stared at the ceiling quietly while I stroked his hair, watching him carefully until he drifted away into a drugged dream of obliviousness where hopefully he could find the peace he needed.
More often than not I read before bed. Usually Mike would lay his head on my chest, his eyes reading the same bits I would and commenting on something here or there, once in a while spoiling the next paragraph for me. But I never minded when he did, it was always an accident.
It did get to the point where Mike imposed a limit of two chapters a night, knowing I could become so enraptured in a story I wouldn't even pay attention to the world around me until I finished it, usually with the early light beginning to peak through the branches outside and create dancing rays of sun along our bed. It wasn't really a rule, more so a concerned request. There was no punishment if I didn't comply, if I deprived myself of sleep reading all that would exist as a reprimand is my own exhaustion. Mike would always silently pick up on this, more gentle with me and luring me away from my nightly ritual with his arms wrapped around my tired body, fingers combing through my hair and his even breathing coaxing me into the sleep I needed until his alarm would wake us, still wrapped around each other and warm in the morning glow of a new day with a new chapter. And recently I realized it was something about him I loved. Though I dare not say it out loud. Not yet.
I'm only a handful chapters into this book. It's one that I've read before, an ironic favorite from when I was younger and snuck books home that I'd borrowed from the woman next door after playing with her granddaughters. The subject of the novel was taboo, Gothic horror I would hide under my bed away from my mother's eyes until she would lay in her own bed, allowing me to click on a light and read until school the next morning. It's been years since I've revisited it, and this copy I had bought at a local thrift store for only a quarter with an excited smile, causing an amused look on Mike's face as he'd watched me.
"Shouldn't you read something you already own?" He'd teased while we walked out of the store hand in hand, Abby leading the way to our car.
I'd rolled my eyes, smiling as I checked for cars coming through the parking lot with no regard for little girls.
"Am I not allowed to spend a quarter on my passions?" I said.
"You absolutely are. I'm just wondering how you're going to read everything," he said with a small squeeze of his hand.
The answer is by drinking a cup of tea and working through the book in one sitting as he lays next to me, no work ahead of me for the next two days that would demand proper rest. No limitation able to stop me now. I'm a few hours into my plan when I notice his leg jolt beside mine, no movement otherwise.
I glance at him quickly, seeing if he's woken with a start. His eyes remain closed, lips parted slightly in sleep and otherwise seeming fine. So I resume my book, flipping to the next page to start chapter eleven.
Halfway through chapter thirteen, Mike gasps. Loud and quick, causing a cough to escape him. I slip a finger inbetween my pages, turning to face him and worry stabbing my chest as I wait for him to choke and thrash frantically. But he doesn't. He remains still, his pulse visible near his adams apple as his breath quickens slightly. I watch him, waiting for any signs of distress. But he remains still in sleep, and reluctantly I return to my book once more, having decided it was just a dream.
Finally, at the early hour of four o'clock his hand reaches out, nails digging into my thigh desperately in a way that's painful against my bare skin, raking down and surely creating a trail of blood in his wake as a short, startled yell of Abby's name pierces the air, his body going ridged. And then he's still, body shaking and eyes wide open in confusion, darting around the room as though he cannot place his environment in his still drugged state.
"Hey," I say softly, abandoning my book and turning to face him, unsure if I should touch him or what I need to say to tear him away from the horrors of his mind. "You're okay, you're awake now."
If he hears me he doesn't give any indication, his breathing so quick and unsteady I'm scared he'll knock himself out from hyperventilating.
"It's okay, it was a dream," I tell him. I place my hand apprehensively on his chest, feeling his heart slam against the cage of ribs below my touch. "You're awake now."
His head turns slightly towards me, but he's still panicking, his hand gripping my thigh hard enough hard with nails he hadn't meant to let grow out for the past couple weeks that I have to make a conscious effort to not whine in pain.
He's saying something, quiet and mixing with his irregular breathing as his other hand grabs my hand upon his chest, pressing it tightly against him. But I can't make it out, I can only hear fragments of 'sorry' and 'take.' And the words only blur more as he starts sobbing beside me, the noises he makes terrifying as he struggles for air.
"Let's sit up. Come on, let's sit up," I say. I'm close to panic myself, trying to find his shoulders to pull him up in fear of him choking in such a state. But his hand is too tight around mine, and trying to take it away seems to only cause further distress, his teeth gritting and nostrils flailing as he tries to breathe in as much air as possible. I manage to get one arm under his shoulders, wrapping it around his body and pulling us both up. The shift of his body seems to make something click, his hand suddenly releasing my thigh as he gasps once more, eyes seeming to show recognition of something.
"You're home. We're in our room, Abby is down the hall," I tell him.
"They'll come here, they knew where we live," he says in a rapid but finally coherent voice.
"Who?" I ask. He's scaring me, making me want to join him in my own hysteria. But I don't show it, the pain throbbing in my leg giving me a point of focus to keep my voice even. "No one's coming."
"My aunt- she- they-"
"She's not coming over, no one's coming to take Abby," I tell him, stroking him arm and trying to shift my body to face his. "Everyone's home and safe. I won't let anyone go."
This seems to hit him, his shoulders relaxing slightly. He looks at my face, staring and trying to focus on me.
"I won't let anyone go anywhere," I repeat gently. His shoulders relax, his body leaning towards mine.
"You don't have to worry," I tell him. "I'm here."
His head lands on my shoulder, hand still pressing mine tight against his chest as his arm finds my waist, body wracking with sobs.
"It's okay. Slow your breathing," I say softly, my hand finding his hair and holding him close against me. "Focus on me and slow your breathing."
He's trying, I can tell by the way he gasps against my chest in even tempo that he's trying to regain his breath. His skin is hot against mine, body wet with sweat. Maybe I should get this shirt off of him, take away the sticking cotton and allow his skin to feel the cool morning air against it to prevent overstimulation. Or maybe the sudden change would throw him into more distress. I don't know what to do, what to offer.
"Do you want me to distract you?" I ask. At this he lifts his head slightly, a small 'what?' Asking for me to repeat the question. "Do you want me to distract you?" I repeat, anxious I've said something wrong.
He seems to think for a moment, his heart still beating at a concerning rate.
"How long have you been reading?" He finally asks, eyeing the book I'd practically thrown to the edge of the bed in my panic.
"A few hours," I say. "Started reading when you went to sleep."
He nods, going silent once more for a few more minutes. I focus on his hair, how some curls wrap perfectly around my fingertips, how soft his hair is even though he doesn't take proper care of it.
"Is it any good?" He asks softly, his mouth against my neck as he tries to relax.
Okay, talk about the book. Book with dead parents. Ah, fuck.
"Not... particularly," I admit. "The first one was better."
"Yeah?" Mike asks. "How so?"
Well, Mike. This is a V.C. Andrews novel. So there's an unsettling amount of incest that serves a horrifying point that I don't think you wanna hear about right now because that's gonna take several hours for me to explain. I wish you'd asked sooner.
"...questionable decisions," I decide is how I'll phrase it.
"Sounds like me," he mutters against my skin.
"I promise you it isn't," I mutter back, trying to think of what to say next.
Mike doesn't say anything, still breathing hard against my skin but finally gaining a steady rhythm. His body shakes less, my fingers gently combing through his hair as I finally speak again.
"It's something you'd laugh at if you felt better," I feel stupid, useless as I try to bring him back to me. But it seems to work, his shaking decreasing as he focuses on my words. "The main character is... dramatic, and... passionate."
I feel his smile against my skin, his fingers stroking my waist. "Oh?" He asks.
"Mm-hmm," I say. He hums, waiting for me to continue. And I'm not sure if I should.
"What's the plot?" He asks. Not something you should hear in your state, Michael. Lots of people die.
"It's about..."
Fucking half the town out of spite.
"...family."
That's one way to put it.
"And... doing what's right."
By burning a house down.
"And taking care of those you love."
Well, at least that point is accurate.
He seems content with this, pulling me down onto the bed once more and keeping me close.
"Are you okay?" I ask him carefully.
"I will be," he says softly. "Thank you. For caring."
"Of course I care," I say with a small laugh of nervous relief. "I love you."
Oh.
Oh.
Oh motherfucker, no.
"What?" Mike asks in a small voice, his body going still, mine going stiff.
Goddammit.
We've been together for about a year. And this is a normal point to finally say the words to each other, a sweet moment of realization and commitment that I'd been wanting to have. And I'd been trying to find the right moment, wanting to say it while he serves pancakes in the morning that he douses in syrup because he hates them dry. To say it when he pulls me close at night, taking a deep breath as he smells my hair. When he falls asleep on the couch or with his head on my lap. And maybe he's wanted to say it too, the way his eyes linger on me when I spin around the room with his sister, or when I fix her hair before walking her out the door, or when I slip out said door to return to my own home only to find myself back here the next day anyways, unable to stay away.
But this is the wrong moment. A moment of fear and terror and I have been selfish enough to dare utter such words that he may not even reciprocate while he's in such a vulnerable state. Shit.
"What did you say?" Mike asks, pulling away to look into my face, suddenly awake and clear of any fog that had been torturing him.
I can't speak. I can't tell him. What if he doesn't feel the same way? Or worse, what if he says it back in a desperation for approval after such pressure has been placed upon him to respond. Or what if he convinces himself he feels the same way only because I do?
"I- Shouldn't-" My head is shaking, eyes wide in worry as I try to think of a response.
"Shouldn't?" He says in the most heartbreaking voice.
"No!" This is all wrong! It all sounds wrong.
"Oh," he says quietly, eyes casted downwards.
"No, wait a minute. This is wrong-" I stutter, my hands shaking slightly.
"I heard you the first time," He says flatly, eyes avoiding mine.
"I'm sorry," I blurt out. "I didn't mean to say anything."
"Then stop saying things," He says sharply, pulling away and turning to face the room.
"I'm not- I can't-" One of the ways Mike and I understand each other is by the way vulnerability makes us choke, gagging on sincere words for fear of rejection and becoming fools. And this time is one of them, even if I'm fighting against it. The silence is too long as I choke on my own tongue.
"It's fine," he says. He stands from the bed, not looking back at me. "I'm gonna take a shower."
I open my mouth to speak, my mind urging me to extend my hand in explanation. But he walks quickly, opening and shutting the door before I can even begin to put the words together in my mind. And I'm alone. With no one but my book to offer comfort.
I try to read. Try to focus on Cathy's piss poor plan that ends with her toes broken because of her terrible husband that she married to avoid her adoptive father. (Don't ask.) But all I can think about is what I should have said. And what Mike must be thinking. Of course he misunderstood me, his mind still racing from adrenaline and nightmares of losing his sister, addled by his sleep medication that would still be in effect. Vulnerable situations are already tricky with Mike, who'd lost his family young and had been forced to create his own stability with no comfort or care returned to him until the past few years when he finally began to create a new inner circle. It was understandable that he was gun shy around this sort of topic. And his already darkened mind earlier today? What a horrible day for a moment like this.
It feels like an eternity, but it must have only been about half an hour when Mike comes racing back into the room. Wet, towel crudely wrapped around his waist and holding up his hand as he rushed towards the bed.
"There's blood on here," he said. "Who's is it?"
I squint as I try to look, reaching out for his hand. He offers it quickly, and at the sight I remember. My thigh. Earlier when he'd gripped it so hard, nails digging in. I can see the blood underneath his nails, dark and most likely having just been noticed by him.
"Earlier when you were upset you grabbed my thigh," I say. Within seconds he's on the bed, ripping the sheet off of me and dripping water all over the place. It's not exactly a pretty sight, cuts from where his nails had dragged and sunk into me. His eyes go wide, cheeks turning pink with shame.
"Jesus," he says. "I didn't mean to."
"I know, you were scared," I say. "Don't worry about it."
"Let me clean this," he says, moving to stand from the bed.
"Mike, we need to talk," I say, grabbing his wrist. He doesn't stop, trying to pull his arm free.
"After I clean this."
"No, now," I say. My voice sounds so much sharper than it should in a situation like this, like a command rather than a request. But he finally stops his rush, his eyes meeting mine as he stands still, gripping the towel around his waist as he contemplates.
"I left the water running," he finally says.
"Clean me in there," I offer thoughtlessly. He raises an eyebrow at me but doesn't question it, tugging me up by my hand and not letting go as we walk to the bathroom in silence.
The water stings on my cuts as Mike kneels in front of me, his body between my slightly parted legs as his hands wash me carefully, lathering soap and working at my thigh with careful concentration. 'It's been ten minutes. Say something, dumbass,' I think to myself.
"I love you," Mike blurts out suddenly. His hands don't rubbing soap onto my thigh, and his eyes don't meet mine. "And you don't have to feel the same way, but you should know that I do."
There's another long moment of silence, dread filling my chest.
"Why are you saying this?" I finally ask. He looks up at me with an unintentional glare.
"What?" He asks sharply.
"Are you saying this for me or for you?" I ask. His brows furrow.
"I don't know what you mean," he says.
"Earlier I said I love you and that was a mistake-"
"You don't need to remind me."
"No, my timing was a mistake. You were vulnerable," I say quickly, sliding quickly down the shower wall to join him on the floor of the bathtub. "Are you saying this because I said it or because you mean it?"
Realization seems to finally sink through, Mike blinking at me slowly.
"So, you love me?"
"I'm sorry that I was an idiot earlier-"
"But you love me?"
"I've been trying to say it for months, but I couldn't-"
Mike's kiss is hard and clumsy, teeth clicking together and making us both draw away in a fit of stupid, teenage like giggles from the way he'd tried to be romantic and jump on me, my face now covered in the orange scented soap from his hands.
"You need to lead with that next time," he says, laughing and covering my face in quick kisses without care that he's smearing the soap onto his face too. "You had me scripting our conversations for the next month in here."
"I was trying. You know I can't- that-" I can hardly respond between his kisses, tasting awful but so sweet I can't help but want more.
"I love you," he says. Then he says it again, and again. Like a dam has been broken and he can't stop the river spilling forth. "I love you."
"I love you too," I finally say, relieved and melting into his touch under the warm stream that he drags me under, holding me close to his body.
Later, as we lay in bed, I finally tell him the real plot of my book, to which he says "I take it back, get out," before dragging me under the covers to repeat his devotion again and again until we can't say it anymore. Coherently, that is.
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I'm gonna be fr, I haven't been happy with my writing lately and that's mostly due to my packed schedule. This is a draft I've been working on in bits and pieces for the last couple weeks when I've had a spare moment at work, and honestly will probably regurgitate at some point in the future when I have the time and energy to get more detailed with this concept in a more detailed fic. But for right now, I did want to put this out as a drabble. So, I hope you enjoyed it, and I promise I'll try to get some more properly fleshed out content out soon for y'all <3
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@cassiecasluciluce @gh0u1ishly @joshhutchersons-slut @schmidtsbimbo @sugarevans @wompwompwomp57 @jhutchissupercool . Thank you for your support pookies!!! <3
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