Hi Mr. Weedman,
Tl;dr: If you had a more convenient way to do it, would you give tablet weaving another shot?
Long time fan, first time asker. I actually got into textiles/fibercraft via tablet weaving, so even just seeing the warp for the blanket all nice and lined up got me psyched. Someday i wanna try spinning yarn for my own weaving.
While stalking your blog looking at your work I saw you gave tablets a shot, and I was sad to see it gave you so much trouble. Thus, my question.
I started out doing it exactly as you did (but with disposable chopsticks), and got just as frustrated with worse results. I was too deep in hyperfixation to do anything else tho, so after a ton of trial and error I've figured out some cool stuff, like this:
If you attach a weight to the far end of the warp (a partially filled water bottle is nice for adjusting tension) and drape it over something horizontal like the back of a chair, you can sit somewhere comfy and still attach it at your belt.
I'm hoping to make a demo post or video soon focusing on ADHD and financial accessibility. If you're interested I'd love to hear your take on it, either from a dyslexic POV or just as someone way more experienced with textiles.
Thanks for everything,
especially the dick positivity,
Birdie
I have actually been thinking about tablet weaving a lot recently ! i came to the conclusion last time i tried it that i'd need an inkle loom, which i do now have the tools to make (just not the time or the materials at this moment). but your suggestion of adding weight to the other end to achieve the tension necessary, rather than needing to pull against it with one's body, is such a good idea !!!
i'd be fascinated to see your demo on it--please do send it to me/@ me when it's done, and i'd be happy to try it out and tell you my thoughts on itl ! i think i plan on building an inkle loom either way, but i enjoyed the simplicity of backstrap so much, and if there's a way for me to do it without as much pain i absolutely wanna try again. if im understanding you, it sounds like you could have the weaving tensioned on the back of a chair but could also sit in a backed chair while weaving ? that would fix it for me. and even if that setup isn't possible, im still much more hopeful that there's a way to make it work for me.
it's really great to hear about other fiber folks who hyperfixated their way through stuff not working and having a cheap setup, that's how i end up learning everything too xD
this was a lovely ask to receive , thank you for sending it :D
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I have a very genuine question about the tipping post I promise I didnt read it in bad faith: are people who simply cannot afford to tip not “allowed” to eat out? I’m just thinking about how it works where I am from and while tipping is the norm here if someone doesn’t tip because they can’t afford it it really isn’t a big deal (+tipping norm here us only 10%). so if a poor family goes out to eat to celebrate something and they can barely afford the meal would they still be expected to tip 20% because they shouldn’t eat out if they cant afford it? thank you in advance I’m really curious
If it helps, don’t think of the tip as a separate thing. It is part of the cost of your meal. So if you cannot afford to pay for the cost of the meal including the tip you cannot afford to eat at that restaurant. This is something I myself have to calculate when I’m deciding if I want to eat at a particular restaurant- if I have $15 I can’t go to a restaurant and order a $20 entrée and then refuse to pay the remaining cost, and likewise if I have $15 I can’t order a $15 entrée and expect not to pay the server for their service.
Now that doesn't mean families who can't afford a pricy restaurant can't eat out at all. Since it is a % of your bill you can try to go for a cheaper restaurant (smaller bill = smaller tip), or if you go to a counter service place where you serve yourself you’re not expected to tip 20% (sometimes they have a jar out you could kindly throw a dollar or more in, but there is much less expectation to tip because the workers at a place like that receive a full minimum wage, more on that in a sec). I will also say in my lived experience poor families in America understand and tip well, I’ve almost exclusively been under tipped by wealthy people (which is what kicked off the debate on twitter- if your bill is $700 then you obviously can afford to tip a full 20%, no destitute families are spending $700 on one meal).
Technically speaking you can get away with 18% as a tip, and if you go down to 15% your waiter will think you’re cheap and be annoyed (15% definitely implies you were unhappy with their service) but that is the lowest possible threshold of acceptability. 10% is not an acceptable rate here, and 20% is now the expected norm for good service, and going up from there for great service. And I would never, ever not tip at all. I can only imagine not tipping if like the server had done something deeply offensive or dangerous or something. I've never encountered a situation where I felt the server didn't deserve any tip at all.
Because you’ve asked in genuine good faith I’m going to provide some more context to help you understand a bit more why this is the way it is-
Waitstaff in america are wildly underpaid. Our federal government assumes the tips are part of their expected income, and so a) they are taxed on assumed tips and b) it is legal to pay them less than standard minimum wage. Currently the tipped federal minimum wage is $2.13/hr. Now, states set their own individual rates so some states do better, but $2.13/hr is the lowest they can all legally go. And you’ll notice in that link it mentions the assumed tips and taxing them. I said on my original post, when I worked as a tipped waitress I made $2.68/hr and sometimes my biweekly paycheck was like $60 total. Imagine trying to survive on $120 a month, you absolutely cannot. Tips made up my actual wage, and were the paycheck I depended on to pay for my basic needs. I relied directly on customers to choose to do the social convention of tipping for survival, and when someone would choose to do otherwise it was utterly devastating.
Another thing customers sometimes don’t realize is your waiter may not be allowed to keep all of the tip themselves. It’s a common practice to pool tips amongst all the waitstaff and then divide them equally, and many places require that you tip out other employees there. So if you give me $10 as a tip I might be actually giving a large chunk of that to bussers, bartenders, etc. Or maybe we pool tips and someone else stiffed my colleague so now all of us are sharing your $10 tip. So also keep in mind that the money you leave as a tip very often does not go entirely to the actual waiter, so a big tip can actually become pretty small much faster than you would think.
(and that's just legal practices, wage theft and illegal practices run rampant in the restaurant industry, just fyi)
If you are wondering why tipping culture here is so grim, it is because of slavery. Tipping got big here as a way to keep forcing Black Americans into working for free, now with a small tip but still no actual wage. It was designed for oppression. Waitstaff are overwhelmingly not wealthy people. It is very common for them to be on food stamps, require housing assistance, or to otherwise be living under the poverty line. If you are eating out and not tipping because you yourself are poor, you are taking money out of someone else’s poverty wages to do so. When we debate minimum wage here in america, conservatives are really good at painting a picture of waitstaff being perky middle class college kids making an extra buck, or teens from wealthy homes wanting some spending money. There is an implication that they don't really need the money that badly. That is not the reality of who makes up most serving jobs in america. Minimum wage workers are likely to be in poverty, they’re likely to be women and specifically they’re likely to be women of color. Americans of color are significantly more likely to be working at minimum wage than white americans. There is a pretty sizeable number of minimum wage workers who are over 50, and a not insignificant amount of them who are mothers who support their families. There are also those teens who just want extra cash, and they deserve good compensation for their hard work too, don’t get me wrong, but they are only a portion of who makes up the minimum wage workforce.
If you’re like “But that’s such a shitty system, you’re saying it’s pitting poor people against each other for basic human comforts!” yup. I 100% agree. I am a vocal proponent of raising the minimum wage for that reason. I also advocate for a Universal Basic Income, because I understand that when it comes to small mom & pop restaurants the owners aren’t always making a ton of money either and it seems like truly no one is winning in this system. It is set up to oppress and to demean and to grind us all down. There are lots of orgs in America that are fighting to improve the system, or to radically change the system. There are also restaurants that have tried to do things differently- there’s a wine bar in my city that says specifically on their menu that their wine is more expensive because they pay their workers a true livable wage so there is no tipping there. Instead as a customer I pay a higher upfront cost that covers the true expense of running the bar- including server wages. I love that, I wish more places would do things like that. In the meantime, when I’m choosing where to eat I factor in a tip of 20% when calculating my estimated bill, because paying for service is part of the cost.
Refusing to tip fully in america is not doing anything to change the system. It does not make restaurant owners rethink their pay structure, it does not put pressure on our government to fix minimum wage, it does not make a political statement. It just means your server is going home wondering if they can afford their own meal that night.
Thank you for asking for clarity, I hope this helps. Please feel free to ask more if you have any remaining confusion or are curious about other aspects of american culture. If I can answer and the questions are respectful, I am happy to reply!
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if your long term eating disorder treatment clinic doesn't include teaching people to prepare and cook food i feel like you're setting many patients up for failure. many people with EDs were raised by people with EDs, and public schools (in the US at least) have almost entirely discarded cooking education.
when i moved in with my bf, who spent time inpatient several years ago, there was hardly anything in his fridge besides, like, cauliflower "rice". & it wasn't just because his ED made it difficult to buy food: he didn't know what to buy! i'd ask what his parents made growing up and they didn't. his mom's ED is worse than his & his dad considered "plain ground beef fried in a pan" to be a "meal."
add that diet culture is pervasive in mainstream food education. even normal-seeming cookbooks will describe some recipes as "guilt free" here and there. influencers are obviously even worse. to avoid it you have to know where to look, and for someone in a vulnerable state of mind, it's far easier to not look at all.
this led my bf to cooking the same few things with the same overpriced ingredients day in and out. he also ordered out, or bought preprepped meals, but he couldn't always afford that, and went hungry the rest of the time. he knew, from treatment, that fats are necessary, that sugars are necessary, that carbs are necessary. but without any knowledge on HOW to incorporate these foods in his diet, he just didn't.
& it seems like such a natural thing to include in treatment. you want to desensitize people to being around food? you want to give them positive experiences with food, including social activities like eating as a group? well, why not cook as a group? have a day when we all make cookies or a big stew! or cook 1-on-1 with your therapist during a session sometimes! install a stove, sink and fridge into their office, follow a recipe together, TEACH! you can't just tell people to incorporate all the macronutrients into their diets without telling them HOW!
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The street lights are pulling his lids open.
Bright, faint enough, a pleasant haze clouding his mind as he stumbles between dreams and reality and, with a smile, realizes they are not so different, not at all.
What a bliss. The car is moving silently through the empty road like a boat sliding on gentle waves.
Cool night breeze slipping through the window and he lowers it more, lets the wind hit him and tangle in his hair, his dreams, make him a little chilly to make sure it’s real. His nose is cold with it.
"Jask?"
A voice, gentle, low. He hums, eyelids drooping in content.
"Are you hungry?"
The car is moving silently, fast, film frames making their way through screen. Lips curved into an unconscious smile, he turns to the voice beside him, and his breath gets a little faster, a little more stolen.
Geralt. Beautiful, soft, so soft under the lights lighting up his face, even, like fresh bedsheets, and his amber eyes remind him of little suns unable to set in the night.
Looking at him, then back at the road, then back at him. As though they can't for a moment live in his absence.
In the haze, his smile becomes wider. "No," he whispers, "not yet." Then, a deep breath. "Where are we going, Geralt?"
Can you do something from me?
I can do anything for you.
Away. I want you to get me away. Just for a little bit.
Geralt looks at him and smiles back, shakes his head. "I don't know."
A statement. An admission. And it's so easy, so comforting, and he doesn't seem to care at all. Something wells Jaskier’s eyes but maybe it's the wind. He nods. "Good."
Slowly, even a bit hesitantly, he nuzzles in his seat, body curving slightly, and looks ahead.
At the road disappearing under their feet. At the lights passing before them so fast they seem like a hanged row on a bedroom wall. At the car buttons peeking through the darkness and Geralt's hand relaxed on the gear knob.
On instinct, he reaches and laces their fingers together. Warm. Warmer than the certainty of his seat, welcoming and embracing his shape.
He can hear Geralt breathing peacefully and a lump gets caught in his throat.
"I love you," he says and it comes out quivering, pleading. "I want to stay here forever."
Begging. Keep me, keep me, keep me. I fit so well in your car seat. I fit so well on the other end of your gaze.
Love me. Keep me.
He swallows, sees Geralt huffing a laugh.
He is not desperate, never has been. But now oh, how tempting, how warm the space between Geralt's knuckles. "Can we stay here forever, Geralt?" A breath.
The car slows ever so slightly and Geralt turns at him. Loving, loving. "Yes, Jaskier," he smiles and it feels like a hug. "I think we can."
A release, then, a laugh trapped in his lungs, and Jaskier bites his lips. He wants to say thank you. Convince him a little more maybe, try more, you never know.
Oh, but he knows. For once, Geralt is looking at him with the most tender gaze, and he knows.
So he only smiles and rests his head on the window again, the wind lulling him once more.
Another car flashes before them and in his dream, or his wake, he hears it whispering.
"I love you too, Jaskier."
It stays forever.
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