#first shirt review of 2024
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The reporters interviewed Amit Soussana for eight hours and doctors she spoke with immediately after her release. They also reviewed medical records, videos, text messages and photographs.
Full text under the cut.
March 26, 2024
Amit Soussana, an Israeli lawyer, was abducted from her home on Oct. 7, beaten and dragged into Gaza by at least 10 men, some armed. Several days into her captivity, she said, her guard began asking about her sex life.
Ms. Soussana said she was held alone in a child’s bedroom, chained by her left ankle. Sometimes, the guard would enter, sit beside her on the bed, lift her shirt and touch her, she said.
He also repeatedly asked when her period was due. When her period ended, around Oct. 18, she tried to put him off by pretending that she was bleeding for nearly a week, she recalled.
Around Oct. 24, the guard, who called himself Muhammad, attacked her, she said.
Early that morning, she said, Muhammad unlocked her chain and left her in the bathroom. After she undressed and began washing herself in the bathtub, Muhammad returned and stood in the doorway, holding a pistol.
“He came towards me and shoved the gun at my forehead,” Ms. Soussana recalled during eight hours of interviews with The New York Times in mid-March. After hitting Ms. Soussana and forcing her to remove her towel, Muhammad groped her, sat her on the edge of the bathtub and hit her again, she said.
He dragged her at gunpoint back to the child’s bedroom, a room covered in images of the cartoon character SpongeBob SquarePants, she recalled.
“Then he, with the gun pointed at me, forced me to commit a sexual act on him,” Ms. Soussana said.
Ms. Soussana, 40, is the first Israeli to speak publicly about being sexually assaulted during captivity after the Hamas-led raid on southern Israel. In her interviews with The Times, conducted mostly in English, she provided extensive details of sexual and other violence she suffered during a 55-day ordeal.
Ms. Soussana’s personal account of her experience in captivity is consistent with what she told two doctors and a social worker less than 24 hours after she was freed on Nov. 30. Their reports about her account state the nature of the sexual act; The Times agreed not to disclose the specifics.
Ms. Soussana described being detained in roughly half a dozen sites, including private homes, an office and a subterranean tunnel. Later in her detention, she said, a group of captors suspended her across the gap between two couches and beat her.
For months, Hamas and its supporters have denied that its members sexually abused people in captivity or during the Oct. 7 terrorist attack. This month, a United Nations report said that there was “clear and convincing information” that some hostages had suffered sexual violence and there were “reasonable grounds” to believe sexual violence occurred during the raid, while acknowledging the “challenges and limitations” of examining the issue.
After being released along with 105 other hostages during a cease-fire in late November, Ms. Soussana spoke only in vague terms publicly about her treatment in the Gaza Strip, wary of recounting such a traumatic experience. When filmed by Hamas minutes before being freed, she said, she pretended to have been treated well to avoid jeopardizing her release.
Ms. Soussana said she had decided to speak out now to raise awareness about the plight of the hostages still in Gaza, whose number has been put at more than 100, as negotiations for a cease-fire falter.
Hours after her release, Ms. Soussana spoke with a senior Israeli gynecologist, Dr. Julia Barda, and a social worker, Valeria Tsekhovsky, about the sexual assault, the two women said in separate interviews with The Times. A medical report filed jointly by them, and reviewed by The Times, briefly summarizes her account.
“Amit spoke immediately, fluently and in detail, not only about her sexual assault but also about the many other ordeals she experienced,” Dr. Barda said.
The following day, on Dec. 1, Ms. Soussana shared her experience with a doctor from Israel’s National Center of Forensic Medicine, according to the center’s medical report, which was reviewed by The Times.
Siegal Sadetzki, a professor at Tel Aviv University medical school who is helping and advising Ms. Soussana’s family as a volunteer, said Ms. Soussana first told her about the sexual assault within days of her release. Professor Sadetzki, a former top Israeli health official, said Ms. Soussana’s accounts have remained consistent.
Ms. Soussana also spoke to the U.N. team that published the report on sexual violence, but The Times was unable to review her testimony.
A spokesman for Hamas, Basem Naim, said in a 1,300-word response to The Times that it was essential for the group to investigate Ms. Soussana’s allegations, but that such an inquiry was impossible in “the current circumstances.”
Mr. Naim cast doubt on Ms. Soussana’s account, questioning why she had not spoken publicly about the extent of her mistreatment. He said the level of detail in her account makes “it difficult to believe the story, unless it was designed by some security officers.”
“For us, the human body, and especially that of the woman, is sacred,” he said, adding that Hamas’s religious beliefs “forbade any mistreatment of any human being, regardless of his sex, religion or ethnicity.”
Mr. Naim criticized The Times for insufficient coverage of Palestinian suffering, including reports of sexual assault by Israeli soldiers on Palestinian women, which have been the subject of investigations by U.N. officials, rights groups and others. He also said “civilian hostages were not the target” of the raid and said “we have from the first moment declared our readiness to release them.”
A Hamas planning document found in one village shortly after the Oct. 7 raid, which was reviewed by The Times, said: “Take soldiers and civilians as prisoners and hostages to negotiate with.” Video from Oct. 7 shows uniformed Hamas militants abducting civilians.
The Abduction
Ms. Soussana lived alone in a cramped single-story home on the western side of Kibbutz Kfar Azza. After hearing sirens warning of rocket attacks on Oct. 7, she said, she sheltered in her bedroom, which was also a reinforced safe room. From her bedroom, Ms. Soussana listened as the attackers’ gunfire grew closer.
The small kibbutz stands roughly 1.5 miles from Gaza, and it was one of more than 20 Israeli villages, towns and army bases overrun that day by thousands who surged across the Gazan border shortly after dawn. Some 1,200 people were killed that day and about 250 abducted, Israeli officials say, setting off a war in Gaza that local health officials say has killed at least 31,000 Palestinians.
Ms. Soussana was at the kibbutz almost by chance. Sick with a fever, she had been recuperating the previous day in the nearby city of Sderot, with her mother, Mira, who pressed her to stay the night. But Ms. Soussana drove home to Kfar Azza to feed her three cats, she said.
The youngest of three sisters, Ms. Soussana had grown up in Sderot. She qualified as a lawyer at a local college and worked for a law firm specializing in intellectual property. Her colleagues considered her a diligent, quiet and private person who kept her distance, her supervisor, Oren Mendler, said in an interview. In Kfar Azza, Ms. Soussana said, she rarely involved herself in village life and was not part of the local WhatsApp groups, which left her unaware of the extent of the attack on the kibbutz.
At 9:46 a.m. that day, she heard gunmen outside, prompting her to hide inside her bedroom closet, according to messages on her family WhatsApp group reviewed by The Times. Twenty minutes later, her phone died.
Moments later, “I heard an explosion, a huge explosion,” she said. “And the second after that, someone opened the closet door.”
Dragged from the closet, she said, she saw roughly 10 men rifling through her belongings, armed with assault rifles, a grenade launcher and a machete.
Part of the house was on fire — a blaze that would ruin the building.
Over the next hour, the group dragged her through a nearby field toward Gaza. Security footage from a solar farm near the kibbutz, which was widely circulated on the internet, shows the group repeatedly tackling her to the ground as they struggled to restrain her. At one point, a kidnapper picked her up and slung her across his back. The video shows her flailing so hard, her legs thrashing in the air, that the man tumbled to the ground.
“I didn’t want to let them take me to Gaza like an object, without a fight,” said Ms. Soussana. “I still kept believing that someone will come and rescue me.”
The Abuser
The kidnappers attempted to restrain her by beating her and wrapping her in a white fabric, the video shows. Unable to subdue her, the attackers tried and failed to carry her by bicycle, she said. Finally, they bound her hands and feet and dragged her across the bumpy farmland into Gaza, she said.
She was badly wounded, bleeding heavily, with a split lip, she said. The hospital report prepared shortly after her release said that she returned to Israel with fractures in her right eye socket, cheek, knee and nose and severe bruising on her knee and back. The report stated that several injuries were related to her abduction on Oct. 7, including punches to her right eye.
After reaching the edge of Gaza, Ms. Soussana said, she was shoved into a waiting car and driven a few hundred yards into the outskirts of Gaza City. She was untied, dressed in a paramilitary uniform and transferred to another car filled with uniformed militants. A hood was placed over her head, though she could still catch glimpses of her surroundings from under it, she said. After a short drive, she was hurried up a staircase and onto a rooftop, she said.
After the hood was removed, Ms. Soussana said, she found herself in a small structure built on the roof of what she would later realize was an upscale private home. She remembered that militants were busy taking more guns from a box. Then the gunmen hurried downstairs, and she was left alone, facing a wall, with a man who said he was the owner of the house and called himself Mahmoud, she recalled.
“After a couple of minutes, he said I can turn around,” Ms. Soussana said. “And I was shocked,” she added. “I find myself sitting in a house in Gaza.”
She said Mahmoud was soon joined by a younger man, Muhammad. She remembered Muhammad as a chubby, balding man of average height with a wide nose.
Later that day, they dressed her in a thick brown garment that covered her body, she said. They gave her three pills, which they said were painkillers. It was the only time that she remembers receiving any kind of medicine in Gaza, let alone medical treatment.
Fitted with a fan and a television, the room appeared to have been prepared for her arrival, she said. There were three mattresses, she said, one for her and two for the guards.
Early in her captivity, her guards chained her ankle to the window frame, she said. Around Oct. 11, she said, she was led by the chain to a bedroom downstairs. She understood that it belonged to one of Mahmoud’s sons, and that his family had been moved to another place.
The chain was reattached to the door handle, she said, next to a mirror. For the first time since her capture, she could see what she looked like.
“I saw the chains and I saw that my face was all swollen and blue,” she said.
“And I just started to cry,” she said. “This was one of the lowest moments of my life.”
The Jail
For the next two and a half weeks in October, Ms. Soussana said, she was guarded exclusively by Muhammad.
She recalled that the room was almost permanently shrouded in darkness. The curtain was usually drawn shut and there were rolling power outages for most of the day, she said.
She said Muhammad slept outside the bedroom, in the adjacent living room, but frequently entered the bedroom in his underwear, asking about her sex life and offering to massage her body.
When he took her to the bathroom, Ms. Soussana said, he refused to let her shut the door. After giving her sanitary pads, Muhammad seemed particularly interested in the timing of her period, she said. She said she had spoken in a mix of basic English and Arabic; she had learned a little Arabic at school and her mother’s family — Jews from Iraq — had sometimes spoken it during her childhood.
“Every day, he would ask: ‘Did you get your period? Did you get your period? When you get your period, when it will be over, you will wash, you will take a shower and you will wash your clothes,’” Ms. Soussana recalled.
When it arrived, Ms. Soussana said, she was exhausted, afraid and undernourished; her period lasted just one day. She managed to convince him that her menstruation continued for nearly a week, she said.
She tried to humanize herself in his eyes by asking the meaning of Arabic words she heard on television. She also promised that her family would reward him financially if she was returned without further harm to Israel, she said.
In the afternoons, two associates of Muhammad would join him at the apartment, bringing him a cooked meal, she said. Some of this food was given to her as her one meal of the day.
The Israeli strikes on the neighborhood became more frequent and frightening, Ms. Soussana said, noting that some shattered the windows. As the bombing intensified, she said, she started feeling sorry for the civilians, wondering why Hamas had never built bomb shelters for its people.
“I felt for them,” Ms. Soussana said. “Just think about growing up like this — it’s scary.”
The Assault
Early on the morning of the assault, she said, Muhammad insisted she take a shower, but she refused, saying the water was cold. Undeterred, he unchained Ms. Soussana and brought her to the kitchen and showed her a pot of water boiling on the stove, she said.
Minutes later, he brought her to the bathroom and gave her the heated water to pour over herself, she said.
After washing for a few minutes, she heard his voice again from the door, she said.
“‘Quickly, Amit, quickly,’” she recalled him saying.
“I turned around and I saw him standing there,” she said. “With the gun.”
She remembered reaching for a hand towel to cover herself as he advanced and hit her.
“He said, ‘Amit, Amit, take it off,’” she recalled. “Finally, I took it off.”
“He sat me on the edge of the bath. And I closed my legs. And I resisted. And he kept punching me and put his gun in my face,” Ms. Soussana said. “Then he dragged me to the bedroom.”
At that point, Muhammad forced her to commit a sexual act on him, Ms. Soussana said. After the assault, Muhammad left the room to wash, leaving Ms. Soussana sitting naked in the dark, she said.
When he returned, she recalled him showing remorse, saying, “I’m bad, I’m bad, please don’t tell Israel.”
That day, Muhammad repeatedly returned to offer her food, Ms. Soussana said. Sobbing on the bed, she turned down the initial offerings, she said.
Knowing that Ms. Soussana craved sunlight, she said, he refused to open the curtains, leaving the room in darkness. Desperate for daylight, she accepted the food, believing that she had no other option but to placate her abuser.
“You can’t stand looking at him — but you have to: He’s the one who’s protecting you, he’s your guard,” she said. “You’re there with him and you know that every moment it can happen again. You’re completely dependent on him.”
The Israelis
Ms. Soussana said her captors moved her away from the border after a major, hourslong bombardment overnight. Based on the extent of the explosions and snippets she caught on television, she later concluded it was around the start of Israel’s ground invasion of Gaza on Friday, Oct. 27.
On the following day, she was hurried into a small white car, she said. The driver headed southwest toward what she would later be told was the central city of Nuseirat.
“Muhammad is sitting in the back seat next to me, and with the gun pointed at me,” she said.
The car stopped outside what looked like a United Nations school and Ms. Soussana was ushered into a busy street, she recalled.
She said she was handed over to a man who called himself Amir. He marched her up the stairs of a nearby apartment block and into another private home, she said.
For the first time in weeks, she was free of Muhammad — but terrified to be entering yet another unknown. “‘Oh my God,’” she remembered wondering. “‘What’s going to happen to me?’”
The man ushered her into a bedroom and shut the door behind her, she recalled. Inside, she found two young women playing cards, next to an older man lying on a bed and an older woman sitting in a chair, she said. Ms. Soussana was wearing traditional clothes from Gaza, she recalled.
“They looked at me and I looked at them, for like half a minute,” she said. “Then I asked, ‘Are you Israelis?’”
“Are you Israeli?” Ms. Soussana remembered one of the women replying.
The Tunnels
Three weeks after her kidnapping, Ms. Soussana had been united with four other hostages. Hugging them, Ms. Soussana broke down in tears, she said.
The identities of the four others were shared with The Times on the condition that their names would not be used to protect those still in captivity.
A few days after her arrival, she was summoned to the apartment’s living room, Ms. Soussana recalled. Amir often played here with his children.
On that day, the guards wrapped her head in a pink shirt, forced her to sit on the floor, handcuffed her, and began beating her with the butt of a gun, she said.
After several minutes, they used duct tape to cover her mouth and nose, tied her feet, and placed the handcuffs on the base of her palms, she said. Then she was suspended, hanging “like a chicken” from a stick stretching between two couches, causing her such pain that she felt that her hands would soon be dislocated.
They carried on beating and kicking her, focusing on the soles of her feet, while simultaneously demanding information they believed she was hiding from them, Ms. Soussana said.
She still doesn’t understand what exactly they wanted or why they thought she was concealing something, she said. At one point, the head guard brought over a spike, and made as if to poke her eye with it, pulling away just in time, she said.
“It was like that for 45 minutes or so,” she said. “They were hitting me and laughing and kicking me, and called the other hostages to see me,” she said.
Ms. Soussana recalled that the kidnappers untied her and returned her to the bedroom, telling her she had 40 minutes to produce the information they wanted or else they would kill her. She said one of the young women was so frightened that she asked Ms. Soussana if she had any last messages for her family.
In mid-November, the hostages were separated: The two youngest women were taken to an unknown location, she said, while Ms. Soussana and the older couple were driven to a house surrounded by farmland.
They found the house full of gunmen, who ordered them to sit on the floor. Suddenly, the older woman began to scream, Ms. Soussana said.
The woman was looking into a shaft that descended into the ground, Ms. Soussana said. “I hear one of the drivers telling her: ‘Don’t worry, don’t worry. It’s a city down there.’”
“Then I realized,” Ms. Soussana said. “We’re going into the tunnels.”
The Release
A ladder, several stairs and a series of narrow sloping passageways led the three hostages deep underground, she said.
By the time they reached the bottom, the guards said they were 40 meters deep, something they hoped would reassure the hostages, she said: The Israeli bombs could not reach them there.
Ms. Soussana said a big gunman in a mask was waiting for them at the bottom. Initially, he started shouting at them, telling them that Israel had killed his family, she said, but then quickly stopped, removed his mask and took a different tone.
She said the man introduced himself in English as Jihad and told them his father had worked in Israel and had even had his Israeli boss to dinner, in the years when Israeli civilians could still enter Gaza. He spoke in Hebrew at times. Jihad said he had learned some from watching Israeli television and sang them a famous song that he had heard on a children’s show, Ms. Soussana remembered.
“I was shocked,” Ms. Soussana said. “Suddenly, he was the most humane guy we met there.”
The ground shook every time a missile struck nearby, making her fear they might be buried alive, she said. The tunnels were dark, damp and too narrow for two people to pass each other. And their subterranean cell was so short of air that they were left dizzy and panting after taking a few steps, she said.
Israeli troops would later capture and photograph the tunnel. Ms. Soussana identified fabrics and mattresses in the pictures.
Their captors spent little more than an hour a day in the tunnel, ascending to higher levels overnight for fresh air, Ms. Soussana said. The hostages pleaded with the guards to bring them, too.
After several days, the kidnappers gave in, brought them back to the surface and drove them to another private house, Ms. Soussana said.
They were still there when Israel and Hamas agreed to a hostage deal and a temporary truce, which went into force on Friday, Nov. 24. The following day, the three hostages were driven to an office in Gaza City — Ms. Soussana’s final detention site.
Every day brought hope and disappointment. It was never clear which hostages would be freed, or when.
On Thursday, Nov. 30, which turned out to be the last full day of the truce, the guards were making lunch when one of them finished a phone call and turned to Amit.
“He says: ‘Amit. Israel. You. One hour,’” Ms. Soussana recalled.
Within an hour, Ms. Soussana said, she was separated from the older hostage and driven through Gaza City. The car stopped, and a woman in a hijab climbed inside. It was another Israeli hostage: Mia Schem, who was also being released.
They were taken to a junkyard, Ms. Soussana recalled. Around them, she said, their guards changed from civilian clothes into uniforms.
Finally, the two women were driven to Palestine Square, a major plaza at the heart of Gaza City, where a raucous crowd waited to see them handed over to the Red Cross. Social media video showed that Hamas struggled to control the onlookers, who surrounded the car, pressed up against its windows and at one point began to rock the vehicle, Ms. Soussana said.
After a tense few minutes, the Red Cross officials managed to transfer the women to their jeep.
As they approached the Israeli border, a female Red Cross official handed Ms. Soussana a phone. A person who said he was a soldier greeted her in Hebrew.
“He said, ‘A couple more minutes and we’re going to meet you,’” Ms. Soussana said. “I remember, I started to cry.”
Aaron Boxerman and Isabel Kershner contributed reporting.
Patrick Kingsley is the Jerusalem bureau chief, covering Israel and the occupied territories. He has reported from more than 40 countries, written two books and previously covered migration and the Middle East for The Guardian. More about Patrick Kingsley
Ronen Bergman is a staff writer for The New York Times Magazine, based in Tel Aviv. His latest book is “Rise and Kill First: The Secret History of Israel’s Targeted Assassinations,” published by Random House. More about Ronen Bergman
A version of this article appears in print on March 27, 2024, Section A, Page 1 of the New York edition with the headline: Israeli Hostage Tells of Sexual Assault in Gaza. Order Reprints | Today’s Paper | Subscribe
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percy jackson tv show airs tomorrow.
it's been 3,5 years since the announcement. 3,5 years of waiting. we were getting scraps of information - that it will be developed by disney+, who the showrunners will be.
2020 turned to 2021. still waiting.
then 2022 came. we saw percy for the first time and we loved him immidiately. then we got more and more. annabeth, grover, other campers. the gods.
we got the first teaser trailer. it showed us barely nothing, but we couldn't have been happier. it showed camp half-blood. it felt like home.
2022 turned to 2023. still waiting.
we got another teasers. a full trailer, which finally showed us more, which made the anticipation even more anxious. we had our doubts, but we were hopefull.
the release date dropped. we feared we'll have to wait till 2024, but it seemed like the christmas came early - quite literally, 20th december to be precise.
the actors strike was long, we were sad and angry we might not see our precious, wonderful actors promoting something they loved so much. but the studios bowed to the creators. actors won. we all won.
2023 almost came to an end. november, the last month ever without percy jackson tv show, ended. still waiting.
and then december started. we got posters, clips, photos. so much content we craved for when the only thing we had was an announcement. we were suddenly spoiled with so much content, that we weren't even able to see everything.
the nyc premiere took place. first reviews came. the critics approved it. the lucky fans, who saw the first episodes, loved it. we were ecstatic.
and suddenly it's december 19th. the wait is almost over.
percy jackson tv show airs tomorrow.
so prepare your camp half-blood t-shirts. wear your beat necklaces with pride. have some blue snacks. celebrate the way you want.
rejoice, demigods, this is our time. we made it.
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2023 review
So, was it a good year ?
I think so, I've enjoyed challenging myself, I've tried Beksinski for a second time, Klimt twice, I've done a crossover hellraiser which I'm quite happy with…
I made cement for the first time and it was great!
At the 2022 review I said I wanted to do more horror, so I went for gore with all my emaciated skeletons and I'm very happy with that.
September is my favorite of all.
Outside of my fanart world, my biggest freelance achievement has been completing a big comic commission on time and now that the book is out and I've had good feedback from both commissioners and readers I'm relieved and quite proud. It's been a stressful time so it's nice to see that it hasn't all been for nothing.
So, even though I'll never stop considering myself as a learner and experimenting with new things, I think that this year I've finally managed to settle on a style, or a range of styles, that I like and that I think I'll stick with for a long time. I've been drawing for a very long time but this is the first year I've felt so strongly that I've found MY style. As for my universe, it seems that somewhere in the horror area of dark fantasy it is my home.
What's planned for 2024?
In terms of priorities, the gift commissions, yeah.... I'm soooo late.
I've finished one, but two are still on hold, and have been for at least a year now. I'm terribly sorry about that, because I haven't been overwhelmed like that for a long time, and I intend to sort it out as soon as possible.
It should also be the year I finish the Goya remake. Ideally, I'd like to finish in February because that's my birthday month, or March because that's the anniversary of my discovery of Ghost.
For the rest, don't take it as a promise, because I tend to let myself be carried along by my desires and they are constantly changing. For example, I was planning great things with Nunussy but the poor thing was left on the side of the road. My interest in it just died.
it seems that shipping characters and writing an alternative universe for them is not my thing.
I have at least 3 shorts comics ideas, more or less ghost related but always mixed with something else. I really really want to work on it but it's a lot of work and this year I need money, like more than usual so I don't know...
I also want to do Bloodborne fanart.
The fails
I haven't kept to my plan to draw the other characters in the Ghost lore, oopsy.
I still haven't had the time to open any commissions, but last year was really special, working on a big contract that kept me busy for months and that was something new, it was stressful enough.
2024 should be different.
I had to show a bit more of my traditional technique, let's say I do it with the Goya project, it's a semi-failure.
Not really a failure: I still haven't come up with a design for an official t-shirt. I think that's because I'm more of an illustrator than a designer and for a good design I need to find a special thing. It's not a big deal for me, just, if it happens it's cool, if not, well, not the end of the world.
To finish
I'd like to thank all those who follow me and who like and share my drawings, including those who remain silent in the shadows - I'm myself a lurker so I understand!
Of course, a huge thank you to those who have supported me on ko-fi, it's the first time I've tried this system and I'm happy to have had some support pretty quickly!
my apologies if there are any English mistakes in this text, which is still too long
Have a great festive season!
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An alternative review of GMMTV Live 2024 part 2
A list of the shared items of clothing that appeared in the trailers, ranked according to the amount I squealed when I spotted it.
6. getricheasy sports shirt
The first of four from Sweet Tooth, Good Dentist, this had its first appearance in Only Friends and was used in the promotional material for The Outing but I didn't spot it in the show, so I'm happy to see it again. Who knows if it will be used in the actual show...that goes for any of these items incidentally.
5. Blue with yellow detail knitted vest
I've had a screenshot of this vest worn by Thor since I saw it as Wednesday Club aired. I swear I've seen it somewhere else before but can't remember. But hence why it immediately jumped out to me in Perfect 10 Liners.
4. Green sports jacket
On to the second of the four from Sweet Tooth, Good Dentist, and oh to be Poon and be able to wear the jacket that our King and Queen have worn -> first by Namtan in UMG and then Mix in his glorious cameo at the end of Only Friends. I predict we'll see this again a few more times.
3. Blue with brown edging shirt
I was happy to see this one, another in Sweet Tooth, Good Dentist, because I had kept it in my mind since seeing it in Only Friends - as another potential that might get worn again. It's subtle yet quite distinct...and very much in a similar vibe as many other shirts worn by Force (and shared with Sea, Ngern, and New amongst others).
2. Red, blue, and green striped t-shirt
I'm impressed with my brain for spotting this one, the last from Sweet Tooth, Good Dentist, because at first it just felt familiar, and I immediately thought of UMG but I thought it might just be because it's similar to a few stripy colour shirts that Nanon wore. But I had a look through my screenshots of the series and eventually found it all the way at the end...
1. Ink's mustard knitted vest!
This one I could not believe. Never in my wildest dreams did I think we would see this iconic vest from Bad Buddy again. But here we are, on Mix no less in Ossan's Love. It's not something you'd expect to see on Mix...but then again I thought the costuming of the trailer looked a lot more 'quirky' than usual and very much fitting the kooky/slapstick vibe of the series. But honestly, this made my day.
#INK'S VEST!!#to be honest I was a little disappointed there weren't more clothes from the communal wardrobe#but I'm still happy to see all these being used#we'll see which ones make it to the actual filming#gmmtv 2024#sweet tooth good dentist#perfect 10 liners#ossans love thailand#only friends the series#ofts#the outing#wednesday club#UMG#unidentified mysterious girlfriend#bad buddy#bad buddy series#I suppose I should look into who does the clothes/styling for these shows#because it might be the same person...which would therefore make sense that the clothes get used again#or it could be that there is just one central 'store' where all the designers dip into to get some items#who knows...#the thai communal wardrobe
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Kaiju Week in Review (March 3-9, 2024)
Shin Ultraman took an eternity to reach home video, but Godzilla Minus One will proceed as a more reasonable pace (by Japanese standards). Toho will release roughly one billion different editions on May 1, with Amazon- and Godzilla Store-exclusive physical bonuses both on offer. Godzilla Minus One/Minus Color is included with some of the pricier versions, or you can buy it as a standalone Blu-ray or DVD.
The black-and-white version of Shin Godzilla, SHIN GODZILLA:ORTHOchromatic, also hits Japanese home video on May 1. Like Minus Color, no 4K edition, just Blu-ray and DVD. A handful of new bonus features about ORTHOchromatic are included.
As is standard for Toho, none of these releases will be English-friendly. But given the films' popularity (and the lack of any legal way to watch Minus One since it left theaters), expect bootlegs to circulate at light speed.
Unsurprisingly, Godzilla Minus One cleaned up at the Japanese Academy Awards, with eight victories out of eleven nominations: Picture of the Year, Best Supporting Actress, Best Cinematography, Best Screenplay, Best Editing, Best Sound, Best Art Direction, and Best Lighting. That's one more than Shin Godzilla, and pretty much guarantees that the Toho Godzilla series will keep the prestige pictures coming. Strange times!
We'll see if Minus One can also capture Best Visual Effects at the American Academy Awards tonight. The Creator remains its biggest competition. The Gareth Edwards film is better-positioned by the usual metrics, with a second nomination for Best Sound and five wins at the Visual Effects Society Awards, but the enthusiasm gap for the films themselves may prove decisive. I'll be doing a much lengthier analysis during Wikizilla's Oscar stream tonight, which will start at about 6:00 PM ET, an hour before the ceremony begins.
Godzilla x Kong: The New Empire tickets may not be on sale yet, but Cinemark theaters have rolled out the above merch (much more efficiently than Target and Walmart have rolled out the toyline, if my local theater's any indication). I have a suspicion those plushies will be worth a mint a few years from now, small as they are; don't know about the other stuff. I bought the larger popcorn tin when I saw Dune: Part Two on Thursday. The promo image is deceptive, as the green area is transparent plastic and the Titan image is on the opposite wall of the tin, so that popcorn's either defying gravity or being held up by a hidden insert. There are Kong and Skar King variants as well, the latter revealing his height (318 feet). Poor Shimo; being the "secret" villain really narrows the amount of merch you get.
The other interesting GxK news this week (apart from the endless TV spot variants, which I'm not even trying to keep track of) is a collaboration with the American Red Cross, of all institutions. Donate blood, platelets, or AB Elite plasma from March 25 to April 7, get a free T-shirt. And for completion's sake, I'll mention the Roblox and Call of Duty cross-promos too.
Chibi Godzilla Raids Again, an unexpected delight last year, is getting a second season starting April 3. The official site revealed that Minilla is joining the cast, while those silhouettes to his right look like Titanosaurus (unjustly neglected in recent years), Gigan, and Gabara. Expect to follow the first season in being uploaded to the GODZILLA OFFICIAL by TOHO YouTube channel with English subtitles.
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Here's another chance to watch Tsuburaya and Toei Animation's Kaiju Decode short, originally released in 2021. (It goes away at the end of the month, because every Japanese studio is apparently hellbent on making short films ephemeral, so download it now.) It's the basis for a recent mixed reality game for the Meta Quest 3 and Meta Quest Pro, hence its return to the spotlight.
UniVersus, a collectable card game predicated on pitting characters from various franchises against each other, is going all in on Godzilla after offering a couple of Minus One cards through highly convoluted means last year. They're releasing a couple of Godzilla Challenger Series (preconstructed decks) on June 21, one based around Godzilla and Mothra, the other around King Ghidorah and Rodan, with Mechagodzilla thrown into the mix for both. I've never played this game in my life, but the prospect of a shiny Godzilla card with James Stokoe art is sort of tempting.
#kaiju week in review#godzilla minus one#shin godzilla#home video#oscars#chibi godzilla raids again#godzilla x kong the new empire#king kong#kaiju
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The Nomination Period for the 1st Term 2024 Inuyasha Fandom Awards is now CLOSED!!
Hey everyone!
Below the cut you'll find a complete list of all of the Fanart nominations received for this term! You can also find it on Google Docs.
Click here for the complete list of Fanfiction nominations.
Thank you to everyone who participated in this term for taking the time to do so. We hope you enjoyed your experience! If you do not see your nomination, please reach out to us as soon as possible!
We strongly encourage that when you view a work of art or read a fanfiction, please reblog or leave a review to let the creators know how much their work and talent is appreciated!
As a reminder, we are giving 3 weeks time to enjoy all of the creations. The voting period will begin February 6th and end February 20th.
In order to be able to vote, you'll need to register so we can keep it all neat and clear. We will be posting the link to the voting form on the first day of the voting session.
Got a question? Check out our FAQ or send us an ask. You can also message one of the mods directly!
Thank you to everyone who nominated for making this 1st Term absolutely wonderful, and happy voting!
Best Action/Adventure
“Versus the Demon Lord” by @amara-sessh
“Fighting some demons at night” by @marycrispies
“Tethered” by @rinshairandthoughts
Best AU/AR
“Untitled” by @florsdellunalluna
“Sense and Sensibility” by @kalcia
“Kagome the Princess of the Wolf Tribe” by @dudiinx
“Sailor Moon Crossover” by @valgreys
“Moonlight” by @dudiinx
“Untitled” by @hycopank
Best Canon Universe
“Naraku” by @lady-lin
“Keep You Safe” by @nartistadigital
“Cuddlebugs” by @feudalobo
“Casa” by @pachworldx-1
“Untitled” by @fishybehavior
Best Angst
“Untitled” by @liquidashesart
“Spirit Run” by @classysassy9791
“distance makes the heart grow fonder” by @elevenharbor
“Cupid in love” by @pachworldx-1
Best Dark
“Nextlahualtin” by @moonkissedart / MoonKissedA (AO3)
“I just want your heart” by @akulols
“Inuspiration” by @stardust414
Best Humor/Parody
“Zoomies” by @purpledemonart
“Finish him” by @generalmoony
“Untitled” by @tiroma-art
“Izayoi’s Expressions” by @tmetta
“Fish Eye Lens SessNara” by @devilatelier
“Untitled” by @mama-ino
“All Dressed Up” (art in story) by @rinafananditshows
“Get Along Shirt” by @jane-imes
Best Kiss
“Beast in the Basement” by @kalcia
“Moonlight” by @dudiinx
“Untitled” by @dekirufran
“Fireworks” by @xtaisanax
“Untitled” by @inumysuzue
Best Character
“Shippo” by @nartistadigital
“Blue Moon” by @len-barboza
“Inuyasha” by @stoneofmaya (X, formerly Twitter)
“琥珀. Kohaku.” by @toutousai
“Kagome Stained Glass” by @razdazberry
“Kouga” by @gantzfelt (X, formerly Twitter)
“InuKimi” by @anime093se
“Waiting for Him” by @alicepupurred
“Nighttime Ride” by @classysassy9791
“Untitled” by @justafewsmallsteps
Best Duo/Pairing
“KogKag romantic blizzard” by @razdazberry
“Sango and Kagome” by @fuko-sshi
“Mommy and Daughter Time” by @katballesteros
“Miroku & Sango” by @xmonday-mintx
“Destiny in their veins” by @alicepupurred
“Here’s my girls” by @justafewsmallsteps
“KaguKik” by @moonnueart
Best Doujinshi
“distance makes the heart grow fonder” by @elevenharbor
“A pupper tryin to be like her dad” by @briizer
“Family” by @heavenin--hell
“Way of the House-Demon” by @lucymorningstar257
“InuKag Week Day 6: Courting” by @jess-oui
Best Redraw
“I Understand” by @len-barboza
“Manga Redraw” by @heavenin--hell
“they were the blueprint” by @badanaday
“Inktober” by @tealybopper
“Inuyasha & Kagome redraw” by @midiatamente
Best NSFW
“Dearest” by @xtaisanax
“Red #40” by @brain-rot-hour / GoblinOnAHorse (AO3)
“Deck the Balls” by @brain-rot-hour / GoblinOnAHorse (AO3)
“Inuyasha dragon au (second picture)” by @moonkissedart / MoonKissedA (AO3)
“Fun at Sea” by @spiralofdragon
“Happy Valentine’s Day” by @jane-imes
Best InuKag Romance
“Eternal Gift” by @clearwillow / BrigidTheFae (AO3)
“Untitled” by @dellmain
“Domestic” by @rubbesart
“Untitled” by @shizuki502
“Untitled” by @actiasz
Best SessKag Romance
“the night before Christmas and there was only one bed” by @stardust414
“Untitled” by @stellesappho
“Sesskag Festival Day 1 - Rejuvenate” by @julytheartist
“Tokyo Tower” by @julytheartist
“Thy Mate” by EnchantedInk_AG (AO3)
“Sesshoumaru. I love you” by @inumysuzue
“Untitled” by @kiliinstinct
Best Romance
“kohaku & rin - they're cute together” by @elevenharbor
“KogKag romantic blizzard” by @razdazberry
“Falling for You” by @eliza-faust-diary
“KagSan” by @moonnueart
Best Group Depiction
“Overcoming the past” by @valgreys
“Baby Inu with his parents” by @eliza-faust-diary
“Un moment de tranquilitat a l'època Sengoku” by @mmezo
“inuyasha! 🌙” by @eggramenart
Best Fluff
“the night before Christmas and there was only one bed” by @stardust414
“Starry Night” by @katballesteros
“Baby Inu with his parents” by @eliza-faust-diary
“SessKag as Kids” by @ivii20
“chibi” by @ivii20
Best Overall
“His hair makes me so happy” by @devilatelier
“Kagome Stained Glass” by @razdazberry
“Thy Mate” by EnchantedInk_AG (AO3)
“Untitled” by @lilacfoxarts
“dancing in the moonlight” by @masitadibujante
“Nighttime Ride” by @classysassy9791
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Review: Louis Tomlinson rocks Brisbane River Stage with Faith in the Future world tour
Louis Tomlinson ignited the Brisbane River Stage on Tuesday night, blending One Direction nostalgia with his new Indie-Pop hits, at the second Australian show of his Faith in the Future world tour.
Molly Snaylam | January 31, 2024 - 7:49AM
Courier Mail AU
Former One Direction star Louis Tomlinson took Brisbane’s River Stage by storm on Tuesday night, at his second show of three in Australia, as part of the Faith In The Future World Tour.
The 32-year-old singer performed to thousands of screaming and adoring fans, with some wearing their almost vintage-looking Directioner merchandise and others in Louis’ Brisbane tour T-shirts.
Tomlinson first performed in Brisbane with One Direction on their Take Me Home tour in 2013 and on Tuesday established himself as an independent Indie-Pop/Brit Rock artist, “making the music he wants to make”.
As the lights went down the crowd came alive with excitement as the band kicked in to accompany him for The Greatest, the opening track to his 2022 album Faith in the Future.
Tomlinson charismatically introduced himself to the crowd, not shying away from profanity, as he welcomed the audience to his tour, “It’s f---king hot tonight isn’t it Brisbane, we’re going to have a great time!” Tomlinson said.
“This scale and size of a show like this absolutely blows my f---king mind, I can feel this is going to be a special night,” he said.
The setlist was a perfect blend of his solo hits, fan favourites, and some surprises, showcasing the evolution of his music.
Tomlinson’s vocals were on point as he effortlessly transitioned from powerful anthems to more intimate moments.
The live arrangements brought a new dimension to familiar tracks, making them feel fresh and dynamic.
Throughout the night, it was clear Tomlinson has veered from his prior pop status and has embraced a ‘mod’ and rock feel with his new music, this was confirmed by him including a cover of the Arctic Monkeys' eerie smash hit 505.
His casual and cheeky northern Brit personality shone through as he sported a black singlet and grey joggers, showing off his iconic tattoos.
He was sure to interact with fans as he wandered around the stage, even taking selfies and posing with his band for a photo in front of the audience.
The relationship between Tomlinson and his fans is noticeably gratuitous and nostalgic, with in tears and others moshing with wide smiles as they danced the night away.
As a major One Direction fan myself – especially during my teenage years, I can appreciate the impact Tomlinson has had on the many young music lovers, who attended his show, during their adolescent years.
Witnessing his fans singing along to every tune, old and new, brought back fond memories of when I saw him perform with One Direction in 2013, seeing the fans who have grown up with his music and the worldwide hype of the band took me back to that night.
Tomlinson’s ability to convey vulnerability and strength resonated with fans, creating an intimate atmosphere in one of the city’s largest outside venues.
His casual, yet captivating stage presence and soothing vocals memorised the audience throughout the show.
Tomlinson said the goal of his Faith In The Future tour was to create a “great live experience on the next tour”, a goal he certainly fulfilled on Tuesday night.
The concert was a testament to his connection with his fans, leaving them eagerly anticipating what the future holds for his music.
FULL ARTICLE
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There's a Bad Buddy Anonymous out there to whom I owe an answer to!
If you're an Anonymous who wrote me an ask about Bad Buddy's episode 7, and you noted that you liked the un-formulaic way in which Pat and Pran reconciled their relationship, and asked for recommendations for dramas to watch *before* Bad Buddy, ones that might reflect on that un-formulaic quality that you liked so much: I apologize for the delay in responding.
I had a great answer that I had all written up, that the web editor ate. :'( The web editor LOVES to eat asks in drafts. Lame.
So here's my best attempt to recreate that answer!
***
Non, thanks for the ask! Ha.
Okay, so, Bad Buddy's episode 7, the competition-in-love episode. What is so great about this episode is that the boys are equals in their competition to get each other to confess first. They're both so clearly sweating for each other, they are totally aware of it, and yet they're still committed to the bit until the very end, when Pat confesses that he'll always throw the game for his lover.
Non, in your original ask, you noted that this set-up went against the formula of how couples usually reconcile their attractions to each other to confirm a relationship. You then asked for recommendations for dramas that a beginner should watch before Bad Buddy, so with that, I assume you mean that you'd like recommendations of Thai BLs. I'm going to interpret your ask from here on out as an ask that reflects on your appreciation for how we got to the setup that was episode 7 of BBS. I can help with this, but I'll also call in some experts at the end to ponder this!
I so appreciate that your ask focused specifically on Bad Buddy, because: my watching and appreciating BBS was a major reason why I myself wanted to learn about the early development of the Thai BL genre. Bad Buddy upends a ton of tropes that had been established in early Thai BL dramas -- I wanted to gain a better appreciation for what BBS was doing, so I hit the archives in my Old GMMTV Challenge project.
As I review the OGMMTVC syllabus for thoughts on recommendations, I'm reflecting on dramas that relied heavily on certain tropes that established the exact formula that BBS/episode 7 spins around. To me, namely, that's the pursuer/pursuee structure, better known as the seme/uke structure.
Pran and Pat are equals in episode 7 -- they're both chasing each other. Earlier Thai BLs almost always featured a seme who pursued an unknowing uke, and very commonly, that uke would have a queer revelation to realize that they were falling in love with their seme pursuer. (In BBS, Pat indeed has a revelation -- but he's not being pursued at that moment. He just realizes that he's fallen in love. By episode 7, both boys are the pursuers of each other.)
So in thinking about earlier Thai BLs that a beginner could watch, to learn about and appreciate the seme/uke tropes that established the formulas that BBS upended, I've got the following.
SOTUS/SOTUS S/Our Skyy x SOTUS: By now, in 2023/2024, SOTUS is.... gently offensive? But for historical purposes, AND for Bad Buddy-purposes, I think it's a must-watch. SOTUS walked so Bad Buddy could run. It was the first BL by GMMTV, a huge one, and gave birth to the first huge celebrity ship in KristSingto. Singto's Kongpob pursues a hesitant Arthit (Krist), who has a revelation that he's fallen for Kong by the end of the series. SOTUS S and Our Skyy x SOTUS follow their eventual relationship.
VERY IMPORTANTLY! Bad Buddy does a LOT to upend a LOT of what SOTUS put out there, by way of commentary on bullying, on the "gay-for-you" phenomenon -- BBS even featured an actor from SOTUS S who played the father of one of the main characters (Kongpob), and put that dude in the same shirt he wore in SOTUS S!
But for the sake of the seme/uke tropes we're talking about, SOTUS has this in spades. There's problematic hubby/wifey language in SOTUS that's, again, upended in Bad Buddy. But SOTUS is a product of its 2016-time period. The genre has learned a lot by way of revising problematic elements that came with the genre's origins. Whenever I think of SOTUS, I always get a sense of nostalgia for Arthit and Kongpob, because SOTUS gave birth to a LOT of tropes (engineering, beach trips, etc.) that we still see in Thai BLs today, tropes that often give structure and reference to dramas. I like that Bad Buddy honored these tropes while also gently calling them out -- and I think, Non, that if you get your historical knowledge squared away just through the SOTUS franchise, you'll appreciate that BBS/episode 7 that much more.
Love By Chance: LBC aired two years after the original SOTUS came out. Trope-wise, overall, I call LBC an ultimately derivative structured drama, in that it encapsulates really well a lot of the tropes that had been established in Thai BL in years prior. Non, I recommend LBC for its seme/uke pairing in AePete, as the pairing was a classic pursuit, but Pete happened to be out and gay, and had a fear that Ae would face discrimination for being open in his love for Pete. I loved that the show addressed this head-on. The rest of the show is not nearly as up to par as what PerthSaint delivered in their AePete performance, but LBC is well worth watching to see the tropes in high action.
Until We Meet Again: While I am a slavish LOVER of UWMA, this drama has a classic seme/uke pairing in Dean and Pharm, but -- the show allows Pharm as a blushing maiden uke to actually have agency and space for his sexual preferences. The show depicts Pharm in hesitation mode, often, but also allows for Pharm to have open and equal communication with Dean about when Pharm is ready to take things to a next level, without a seme pushing an envelope to move things more quickly than they should.
I Told Sunset About You and I Promised You The Moon: Instead of driving to a classic seme/uke set-up, ITSAY spent much more time in Teh's revelatory and recognition headspace, as he negotiated internally his attraction to Oh-aew. IPYTM allowed us to see into Teh's and Oh's eventual relationship, and established Oh-aew's supremacy as a man in control of his world and his decisions, always fully aware of Teh's attraction to him, but needing time and space to be ready for Teh's chaos. I love thinking about ITSAY and IPYTM as trope-deflectors before the rise of Bad Buddy, and -- there are multiple moments when Bad Buddy talks to ITSAY as well.
All of these dramas are considered classics and are thus on the OGMMTVC, but Non, I am in no way a comprehensive expert on the genre itself. There are elders all around who have watched more than me! I'm wondering if -- for the question of what dramas best established the seme/uke pursuit trope in Thai BLs before Bad Buddy upended that trope -- if @bengiyo, @so-much-yet-to-learn, @absolutebl, and @lurkingshan have thoughts and suggestions.
Non, I hope this helps!
#thanks for the ask!#bl tropes#thai bl tropes#bad buddy#sotus#sotus s#our skyy x sotus#until we meet again#uwma#love by chance#i told sunset about you#itsay#i promised you the moon#ipytm
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UMK 2024 Song Review - Windows95man
The hype is very real around Uuden Musiikin Kilpailu (UMK), the Finnish national selection for Eurovision and the race to Malmö continues with another entry!
Windows95man - No Rules!
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Windows95man is a shy family man from the Finnish capital area who's made a name for himself as multitalented entertainer. The man is a visual artist and a photographer plus owns his own gallery in Helsinki but is the best known aka Windows95man. It all started from Youtube but quickly grew to become famous as a DJ who wears cut off shorts (magic shorts according to him) and Windows95 t-shirt.
He represents the same liberated crazy spirit as Käärijä last year. He does a lot of things that are not seen suitable for a Finnish man of his age in style and in music and feels no shame of doing so! Good for him!
No Rules is his first song in which he collaborates with Henri Piispanen who delivers the vocals.
No rules is a throwback from the 90's which according to Windows95man influenced his musical style the most (as born in the mid 80's). Musically this is part of the eurodance genre and reminds many of E-Type.
Musically it holds all the necessary elements that a proper 90's banger needs and Piispanen impresses with his high notes (can he deliver live?). However, what is a strong point for No Rules can be also its death.
This is a nice, funny, catchy add to UMK24 selection but doesn't really meet the high quality of the previous songs, does it. This can be seen as a joke entry especially with the music video which reminds me a sketch on TV. Musically this can be quite irritating for many. It doesn't offer anything new and some listeners might tune off before the song has reached its 3-minute run.
Last year Portion Boys delivered a similar entry but still bringing their own musical value to the table. I just don't see No Rules doing the same despite of possibly becoming a guilty pleasure for some UMK fans. In Eurovision this is something what we could have sent a decade ago but now UMK as Eurovision has topped its game since. Wiwibloggs were on point with their a Nokia reference - it's nice to down a memory lane for a moment but would someone still buy one? No.
This is still a decent first single and I hope nothing but the best and love in the future!
What do you think of the fifth UMK24 track and would you vote for Windows95man to go all the way to Malmö? UMK final takes place on February 10th!
#eurovision#finland#euroviisut#eurovisionsongcontest#finnish#uuden musiikin kilpailu#uudenmusiikinkilpailu#yle#songreview#umk#review#windows95man#umk 2024#no rules#Youtube
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End of Year Review 2023
It is currently Christmas Eve-Eve at the time of this writing, which can mean only one thing; The End of Year Review for 2023.
These past three years held a lot of significant changes and growth for me, most of which I likely wouldn't have experienced had I remained in that horrible part of the mid-west. Despite the mass 'rona pandemic and the constant mental health battles/challenges, 2020-2022 were very good to me and I consider them the best years of my life.
2023 is a welcoming addition to that train.
The first major reason were the goals I set at the end of 2022, all of which were achieved without fail (to a point);
I continued making animated shorts, but only produced 2. However, this was a good glow up year for The Boris Blobinski Show! I got to manage a smaller production team, consisting of my talented friends, and together we banged out a beautifully animated episode!
I got my contact lenses! However I haven't really worn them since I left the optometrist's office. I still intend on using these for when I go swimming or to the spa, but I can see why some people aren't crazy about this option.
I finally got my hair dyed, and it wound up being a vibrant cherry red. Had it done back in March, and most of my hair is still pretty red despite the roots coming in.
Been losing a small chunk of weight still, which means I was able to convert to smaller shirt and pants sizes.
I did a lot more exploring this year! I finally secured my Californian rite of passage by visiting In-N-Out burger, discovered a couple awesome local bakeries, and went to the movies for the first time in years. First major achievement was going to Universal for the first time ever and visiting Nintendo Land! The second biggest crowning achievement was the daytrip to The Ventura Harbor in April, where I got to board a small wildlife sea cruise and witness dolphins, whales, sea lions and seals.
I got back to working on comics again, and produced two short stories for a larger collective that is still in production.
Second major reason were the events that weren't planned out of the gate, but were absolutely welcomed;
I saved enough money to get a new desktop PC built. My friend from Colorado flew down and spent the week with me, partially to help get the PC built to proper standards and to also spend some quality time together in person.
I started freeway driving practice mid-year; taking smaller steps to feel more comfortable driving in the faster/wider lanes without having my PTSD invoked. I have a long way to go, but even driving within a 5 mile radius is still worth celebrating, especially since I've actively avoided freeway driving for most of my life.
My best friend is finally coming to visit me at the end of December! I have not seen them in person since 2016, and it will be their first time visiting my apartment space as well.
As far as plans for 2024 go, here's what I have on the docket;
I will be going to an actual jury duty selection at the end of January for the first time. (Exciting, I know!) I'm curious to see what the process is like, but I hope I can dismiss myself from the proceedings. (Respectfully, of course.)
I plan on hosting another friend visit me around the Spring/Summer.
I will be working on a very ambitious episode of The Boris Blobinski show that will take up most of the first quarter of my year.
I will continue my weight loss regimen as I have started back in 2021. As of this writing I am now down to 186 lbs. This is actually pretty close to my first goal, but I want to continue this trend until I hit between 135-140.
I still want to do more local travel and discover new venues. I'm eyeballing Downtown Ventura and will likely add a few more intended places to my list.
Attend activity based events like Life Drawing and other art related functions. As an artist, it's important I find different means to shake the rust off of my skills, and as a human I need to start making efforts in social connections again.
Continue freeway driving practice to the point where I can actually go beyond 5 miles comfortably.
Continue working on my one shot comics, see if I can at least produce two more stories before building a website/platform to host them all.
Outside of Boris Blobinski, I want to be more active in the animation space again and make a few more originals outside of that project.
Lastly, I want to look into Toon Boom Harmony official Certification. I've worked with the program for over 10 years, both for traditional hand-drawn animation and character rigging, and I would love to have that piece of recognition. Hell, I am not against the idea of applying as an instructor if I can get that far!
Of course I don't think I'll be able to jump into everything as intended. I know 2024 will also be met with some unexpected surprises, but I'll gladly welcome them all the same. And lastly, before we pull the plug on this, I want to thank everyone involved in my life that has made 2023 a fantastic experience. You know who you are.
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MACHINE HEAD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Hey folks, sorry for running two days late but better late than never, here is my 1st review of 2024, Machine Head!!!!!!!! It was my first gig in 2 months as the last one I saw was Cattle Decapitation and Immolation last December, I was going to see Exmortus but I decided against it due to pre holiday stress getting to me. This was the first time in 4 years I had seen MH as I last saw them when they did their evening with tour, and it was the first of two shows I saw that year a month before covid took a stranglehold on the world, second show was Vader two weeks later. Plus when I saw them 4 years ago it was when they played Burn My Eyes in it's entirety in the 2nd half of their set after they played the first half of their songs from all their catalog, which to me is a show that won't get topped.
Let's begin the festivities!
First band up was Gates to Hell. I had looked them up on metal archives and they looked like a band I wouldn't be into, sure enough my point was proven as I found them boring like I do with a majority of metalcore and deathcore bands and it was all the more reason to save my headbanging energy. I then said to my pal Alex "Stogie" Stojanovic in a joking manner "I at least didn't get splashed with water in my face twice".
Next band up was Orbit Culture!!! Compared to Gates to Hell, these guys were better as their songs were more groovy since they are a mix of Melo Death and Groove Metal and plus they had great stage presence. When I heard them live I was hearing some Dark Tranquillity vibes off of them. At one point during their set frontman Niklas Karlsson had said "Of the shows we've played in Canada, I think this is the biggest? But it's also the weakest" which elicited boos from the crowd but he did give them a pep talk to start moshing and crowdsurfing more, which they did and he would then compliment Toronto's energy and efforts.
After Orbit Culture it was time for Fear Factory!! This was my 3rd time seeing Fear Factory as it had been almost 11 years since I last saw them which was also the last time I would see them with Burton C. Bell as he had acrimoniously left Fear Factory as the previously squashed beef between him and Dino Cazares had ignited almost 4 years ago and it came as a shock to all of us, especially when it was at the height of covid at that time. So they got a new singer from Rome, Italy in the name of Milo Silvestro and his growls and cleans almost sounded identical to Burton's vocal style, which was scary in a sense but I was otherwise pleasantly surprised with that performance. I'll also point out I've now seen Fear Factory three times with three different drummers and three different bassists respectively: 2010 was Byron Stroud and Gene Hoglan from Strapping Young Lad so it was ½ FF and ½ SYL. 2013 was Matt Devries who is also rhythm guitarist for Chimaira and Mike Heller formerly of Malignancy and who now plays for Raven, so ½ FF and ¼ Chimaira and ¼ Malignancy. This year was Tony Campos from Static X and Pete Webber from Havok, so ½ FF and ¼ Static X and ¼ Havok. Also when Dino Cazares had finished introducing the band members he said "I think I speak for all the fat dudes here how many fat guys we got *many raised their horns and yelled* we got some XXL shirts at the merch booth or as I call them Dino size" which had Stogie and I cracking up. Here's FF's setlist:
1. Shock
2. Edgecrusher
3. Powershifter
4. Disruptor
5. Fuel Injected Suicide Machine
6. Linchpin
7. Slave Labor
8. Demanufacture
9. Replica
After FF it was time for MACHINE HEAD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! This was my 7th time seeing Machine Head and first time in almost 12 years I see them play at a large nightclub as last time that happened was when I saw MH at Rebel as direct support for Dethklok, in which looking back on it MH stole the show. This was also the first time in 12 years I had seen MH on tour with opening acts as I last saw that on January 28th, 2012 at Rebel then known as Sound Academy with Darkest Hour and Suicide Silence on the Unto the Locust tour. Each time I've seen them live they just get better with each performance. Before Aesthetics of Hate and then dedicating it to Dimebag Darrell, Robb Flynn had said the following "Holy Shit Toronto! Goddamn! We got some rowdy motherfuckers for a monday night here in Canada, lemme hear you make some noise Toronto *crowd roars* nah nah nah let me hear you make some NOIIIISSSEEE *crowd roars louder* fuck. I tell you what, it is awesome to be back now, so awesome to be back. We got here, actually we got here last night, yesterday afternoon, I went walkin around, it totally brought back all these crazy memories of the first time Machine Head played in Toronto. So the first tour we did was opening for Napalm Death and Obituary and we played over at the Opera House so I walked by the Opera House and then we came back with Slayer a little while later and we did a little show called umm.. I think it was Much Music or something like that? They had us come on and play Davidian and I walked by that building and I was like 'oh shit' and all these killer memories came back and I just wanna say man it feels good to be back in your fuckin city man thank you". Also at the end of Aesthetics of Hate, there was a silhouette of Dimebag on the screen, which was a touching gesture. As MH were performing Unto the Locust Robb had made commented on the weed being smoked and he admired the smell of it as it made him say "woooooo". Before their last song Halo and opening band acknowledgements, Robb Flynn did another speech "Like I said earlier, we got some rowdy motherfuckers on a monday night in Toronto fuck! How's everybody in the balcony doing man, you guys doing alright back there? Fuckin eh, ragers ragers over here man. And how's all my motherfuckers in the circle pit doing, you guys doing alright? Where's the captain? I love all the masks, everyone's wearing the fuckin ram skull masks I love it, see people go *makes horn crashing sound with his fists punching together* where's the captain at? I need your captain's hat man, I need that no no no, bring it up here, I need that captain's hat, that's some good shit *Adam Cooper brings his hat to Robb Flynn* Slayer captain's hat, thanks Toronto". I'll also point out that Wacław "Vogg" Kieltyka wasn't on this tour due to his commitments with Decapitated so instead Reece "Babyface" Scruggs from Havok was in the band on lead guitar duties, so this tour was definitely linked with Havok members. Here's MH's setlist:
1. Imperium
2. Ten Ton Hammer
3. CHØKE ØN THE ASHES ØF YØUR HATE
4. Aesthetics of Hate
5. Old
6. Locust
7. The Blood, the Sweat, the Tears (Robb Flynn renamed the last part Beers)
8. NØ GØDS, NØ MASTERS
9. SLAUGHTER THE MARTYR
10. Bulldozer
11. From this Day
12. Davidian
13. Halo
Overall, an awesome metal show and a great way to kick off the 2024 concert season for me.
HEAVY METAL FOREVER!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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Rebbie's Wrestling Show Reviews - RevPro: Live in Southampton 28 (11/2/2024)
For the first time since I started this whole blog, I went to a live wrestling show! So I thought, why not give a brief review. This was one of RevPro’s weekly shows, and the go-home before High Stakes in Crystal Palace (which I am also attending!!!), so for those unfamiliar with these bigger indies, it's essentially their version of a tv taping. These shows and their big shows are all available on RevPro OnDemand. The company is known for a strong relationship with New Japan Pro Wrestling, being where they send trainees on excursion and in the past frequently seeing major NJPW stars hold the British Heavyweight Title.
Pre-Show
These shows are a breeze for me to reach down at The 1865 in Southampton, and always feature a pretty lairy crowd. It's a music venue, with the stage featuring some chairs with a few more on most sides of the ring. Wrestlers enter through a small walkway in the far corner of the building with a projected screen on the stage. It's an intimate and ever so slightly awkward venue, but I absolutely love it, and it's so easy to attend. Without further ado, let's get into the show, as the ever wonderful Francesca introduced the action.
Robbie X def. Joshua James by pinfall in 11:54
This was a really hot match to start things off. Robbie X is really popular with this RevPro crowd, and he earns it by always putting on a show. He’s facing Mustafa Ali in Crystal Palace, which is sure to be a highlight. On this night though, he was up against Joshua James, one of the Contenders. These are essentially the RevPro own guys. Something I love about RevPro crowds is how much they get behind the Contenders. They’re one of our own! Both men got a great reaction, and this was an awesome big vs small match. Josh James had a great power game on display, and Robbie is an awesome seller, so this went really well. It was never slow, just all action, and maybe my favourite match of the night in the end. Robbie is able to get the win when he hits the Handspring Cutter out of a James pounce, which was a counter of a previous handspring cutter attempt. That was pretty fun! The night is off to a great start!
3.5 STARS OUT OF 5
I feel it pertinent to mention it here as James sported the memorial armband and t-shirt, but this is the first show I’ve seen since Mad Kurt sadly passed away late last year. Mad Kurt was on the first few shows I saw in The 1865, and made an immediate impression. I’d known him from Twitter and had no idea what to expect from his wrestling, and I was charmed by his mixture of silly comedy and serious wrestling acumen. I was heartbroken by the news, and I’m so sorry to all those who knew him for their loss. There were multiple tributes to him throughout, and he is extremely missed. Mad Kurt Forever. If you want to support his family monetarily for the various costs in this trying time, you can do so via the GoFundMe here.
“Flash” Morgan Webster def. Will Kaven via pinfall in 10:12
The Modfather, one half of the British Tag Team Champions with Mark Andrews/Dani Luna, takes on Will Kaven of… PORTSMOUTH?! For those unaware, Portsmouth is the next city over from Southampton, so Kaven always gets a strong reaction from us Southampton fans… Portsmouth is actually more local to me originally than Southampton but shhh don't tell anyone!! This is another good match, a pair of guys who can mix high flying with a more grounded game, and we see all sides of that in this one. Webster is highly popular, and Kaven is highly unpopular, and it makes for a fun match. I think the crowd may have been a smidge tired here, but they still had plenty of energy! Webster gets the win with the Shadows Over Malice swanton bomb.
3 STARS OUT OF 5
Anthony Ogogo def. David Francisco by TKO in 14:52
Speaking of loving the Contenders, here’s David Francisco! We love David in RevPro, and the big man from Portugal was just as popular on this night. There was even a great chant I don't think I’d heard before of “Francisco” replacing “You are gold” in Spandau Ballet’s Gold. That’s inspired! His opponent was AEW’s Anthony Ogogo, the former Olympic bronze medallist boxer. For some reason, he still has The Factory’s logo on his jacket despite the group disbanding almost a year ago. This one was all about Ogogo, and he worked well as a heel, jibing back and forth with the crowd who had lots of banter for the “Pound Shop David Haye” as they chanted. He had a pretty good match with Francisco, who was predictably over like rover, and had a few nearfalls that could have been an upset. In the end though, despite showing resilient including a subtle rope break that fooled Ogogo, Francisco was knocked out, with the Union Jack being draped on him by the olympian. Fun if unremarkable match.
3 STARS OUT OF 5
Post-match, Ogogo got on the mic, bragging about his big American house, fighting with the crowd (including a passing fan and his middle finger), and most importantly, deriding Ricky Knight Jr. for being “cocky”. However, RKJ was actually here, and he met Ogogo in the ring! They had a war of words, with RKJ again challenging Ogogo for High Stakes. He promises to take all the vision in Ogogo’s damaged eye. Both men invoke the names of each other's families, and it’s when Ogogo says RKJ’s newborn daughter takes after him in being “butters, mate” as he put it that we get a big brawl. The backstage area clears out to seperate them, with great difficulty, but they are eventually split, with Ogogo seemingly going out the wrong door. I say this because during the next match, he quietly trots from there to the entrance way and heads to the back.
Luke Jacobs def. Yuto Nakashima by pinfall in 12:17
Beef! This is a clash of two big men, and the crowd were excited. We have here the first wrestler on the card that I’ve never seen in any capacity, that being Yuto Nakashima! One half of Young Blood passed me a few times pre-show and he is a big guy! Off the bat, love his vibe! A lot of personality and aura from him, as he enters with a big chain and wild hair. Jacobs also heads to the ring and looks in great shape! These two started a little slow in my opinion, but they ramped up and this one got pretty good by the end! Big strikes, and the highlights were some gnarly headbutts as these two had a colossal tussle. This also saw one of my favourite spots they do at these RevPro shows, as they cleared the chairs in front of me for Yuto to throw Jacobs clattering through them. Jacobs is able to secure the win in the end though, hitting Yuto with a great lariat. I was even further sold on Yuto with his post match sell, as he stumbled wildly all the way to the back, falling into the crowd and ring multiple times. He was also prone to a dance any chance he got the whole show long, and I love him for that.
3.5 STARS OUT OF 5
Intermission
This brought an end to the first half of the show, bringing a short intermission. Ogogo made conversation near the bar and took a few photos with fans, and Sha Samuels & Morgan Webster joined the merch table, taking photos and selling their wares. I was able to meet them both, and bought a shirt and print from Webster, despite some hassle with my card! I forgot to get a photo though, so I’ll have to see them again at another show! Both were lovely and shortly after that, our second half began.
Oskar Leube vs. JJ Gale ended in a no contest in 9:57
We came back with the other half of Young Blood taking on the other half of the High Stakes match between Luke Jacobs and JJ Gale. This match was really fun! This was my first time seeing Leube, and I was extremely impressed with his work. The man walked past me a couple times during the show and he is TALL. He uses that size well in the ring but is really smooth with everything he does. JJ Gale was a great opponent for him too, using his quickness to build a pretty cool match. Sadly, this one ended pretty quickly with a no contest, as Mark Trew & Kieron Lacey attacked both men, even wielding chairs. Yuto returns to help his partner, but he’s overwhelmed by the tag team. In the end, it’s Luke Jacobs who clears the way, wanting Gale at his best for the big show the following week. They end up brawling anyway though, as Young Blood stand off with Trew & Lacey.
3 STARS OUT OF 5
Mark Trew & Kieron Lacey def. Harry Milligan & Michael Oku (w/ Amira) by pinfall in 13:42
Trew & Lacey are already in the ring as the following match gets announced, with their opponents meeting them for their match. There’s a big “Mad Kurt” chant to start this one, which was touching. This was a decently fun match, with the champion and his younger ally contesting with the nefarious Trew & Lacey. Trew losing his beanie also elicits a big reaction from this crowd. This one is moving along decently enough, until Trew & Lacey bring Amira into the path of Oku’s shooting star press over the top rope to the outside. Amira’s down, and a distraught Oku carries her to the back for attention… Bit of an odd move to choose for that spot if you ask me, but who am I to judge? But Trew & Lacey capitalised off this numbers advantage to get the win over Milligan. Post-match, Young Blood take their chance to strike as Trew & Lacey continue to beat up Milligan. This brings out Oku, who’s keeping an eye on Young Blood. Leube gets on the mic and demands a tag team match at High Stakes! Exciting stuff.
3 STARS OUT OF 5
Cameron Khai def. Richard Holliday by pinfall in 12:59
We were breathing rarefied air next, when Richard Holliday from Connecticut, America came to the ring. He grabbed the mic from Francesca and began to introduce himself. He says he’s familiar with our game as a UK crowd, and said if we want to get ourselves over, we have to make a chant for him. He isn’t pleased with the crowd’s chants of “Dick”, saying he thought we were more original than that, as he finds one fan willing to sing his praises in song form. Sadly, I can’t for the life of me recall what the song is called, so you’ll just have to imagine the tune. It’s here that Holliday’s foe comes out: Cameron Khai! Khai is a really talented young wrestler who I’ve seen a couple times now, and he has had some absolutely great matches. One to watch for the future as he develops further! This is a decent match, but I think it’s pretty heavily overrun by fan chants. They were certainly entertaining though! Chants of “Dick Vacation” anger Holliday, as well as “You’ve got one fan, and he’s shit!” chants. There’s a fun moment as Holliday does some corner strikes, each punctuated by a call of “You’re not shit” directed at his loyal fan. What a heel! Not all of the chants were great though, you can imagine some of the humour derived from Richard’s first name. The chants really did distract from the in-ring action though, which I can’t imagine was desired. The finish comes when Khai is able to roll up Holliday with a small package pin for the win. Holliday sulks in the ring post-match, refusing to leave, which is a thread we’ll come back to shortly.
3 STARS OUT OF 5
Seeing Holliday for the first time, I was pretty impressed with his charisma. You can definitely see the comparisons to his former tag partner MJF in his promo skills. He was solid in the ring too, definitely doing his part for the match. Sadly, his promo riling up got out of hand. Excited to see what more he can do though!
Spike Trivet def. Sha Samuels by pinfall in 14:17
Richard Holliday is still in the ring as Francesca announces our main event, which comes with a small video package and everything! How fancy! It’s Sha Samuels intervention that ousts Holliday, with the East End Butcher clearing him from the ring with his entrance. Holliday lingers outside, seeming unhappy with this from Samuels. Trivet is out next, being understandably booed for being Spike Trivet. This grudge match, built from Trivet’s general attitude and attacking Samuels at Uprising, is a decent match! A fun spot is Samuels going to use his scarf, which the referee takes away, but Samuels using this chance to use his braces on Trivet. He gets as good as he gives! There’s some back and forth decent stuff, until Holliday returns to the ring side area. Samuels takes exception to this, as does the referee, which allows Trivet the chance to grab a weapon from the earlier discovered toolbox, and get the win over Samuels.
3 STARS OUT OF 5
Post match, Holliday and Trivet argue over beating up Samuels, before they decide to both do it. This brings out Cameron Khai and Flash Morgan Webster to even the odds, with all 5 men brawling all over the place! Right in front of me, Webster and Trivet went flying into the merch section! I couldn’t follow it all! It was a pretty fun ending after a few matches with a little less pizazz. Samuels ends the show on the mic cursing out his enemies.
Post-Show
With our show over, I went over to the merch table once again, this time getting a signed print from JJ Gale, where I had to get his PayPal for payment as I had no cash, as well as meeting Young Blood. The pair of them were lovely, and I actually remembered to get a selfie with them! I also bought a signed print of Yuto, as they only took cash and I only had £5. They better come back to Southampton so I can get a signed print with Oskar!
Final Thoughts
Overall, this was a pretty fun show. I’ve certainly seen bigger barnburners on these Southampton live shows, but this was good fun ahead of High Stakes. There wasn’t too much build to the big show, but look, I had fun. What more do you want from me? I think this show gets a high 3 STARS OUT OF 5 from me!
#revpro#revolutionpro#revolution pro#revolution pro wrestling#revpro live in southampton 28#revpro live in southampton#wrestling show reviews#wrestling#pro wrestling#indie wrestling#british wrestling#robbie x#joshua james#flash morgan webster#morgan webster#will kaven#anthony ogogo#david francsico#luke jacobs#yuto nakashima#oskar leube#jj gale#mark trew#kieron lacey#harry milligan#michael oku#amira#richard holliday#cameron khai#sha samuels
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Fic Writing Review 2023
Thanks to @theteaisaddictive for the tag! Didn't get much writing done this year, but I figure it'll do some good to look back at what I did accomplish, and get a little motivation for this year's projects :).
Words and Fics (on ao3) 📚
words posted: 3,505 - better than nothing!
fics posted: 2.
first fic/last fic: first was 'cause you're fine and you're mine, and you look so divine, a little Thorquill fic where Peter realises there's more than rivalry at play whenever he finds himself on edge around Thor. Last fic was oh-ho, the mistletoe, hung where you can see..., a Thundershield smut fic where Steve and Thor steal a private moment away from a Christmas party in Avengers Tower.
Ships and Fandoms ⚓
Steve Rogers/Thor and Peter Quill/Thor for Marvel all the way babyyyyyyyy.
Top 5 Fics by Kudos 🏆
Out of the two I posted this year, 'cause you're fine and you're mine got the higher number of kudos.
Top 5 Favorite Fics 💖
Out of my total output, in no particular order:
and at least i understood then, the hunger i felt
people will say we're in love
let me hear your body talk
a fighter by his trade
the shirt off my back
All Steve/Thor for Marvel, of course.
Fandom fic events
Meant to take part in the 2023 Thundershield Bingo, but my planned projects never came together :/. We'll see what comes up this year!
Projects for 2024
Some titles are subject to change, but here we go!
King and Lionheart - Inspired by the 1602 episode of What If...?, a snapshot of a forbidden romance between King Thor and Rogers Hood.
Meet the Parent - A crossover between Marvel and DC. Clark Kent's bringing his new boyfriend back to Smallville to meet his mother. His new boyfriend happens to be living legend Steve Rogers. Sooner or later, he'll convince himself that he's got nothing to be worried about.
Something for Priest Steve and Demon/Incubus Thor.
all hearts in love use their own tongues - A longfic I've been tinkering with for YEARS, and that I really want to try and make more progress on. Thor accepts Steve's request to teach him Asgardian and slowly falls in love.
Thanks again! I'll tag @leisurelypanda and @meidui, if anyone else wants to jump in, feel free!
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Happy New Year! I hope it has been treating you well so far. I come to you with another ask, possibly the first of the year? Lol.
In an old ask, you said that Chris in GP is more of a creeper (vouyer, etc), and that after what Ryan is gonna do next, what Chris does that is already creepy will no longer be harmless. And it's had me thinking for a long time, like, dang, that is ominous, and what does it mean. I know you're busy with things and invested in other fandoms, which is why I appreciate you still answering my asks about GP. So, ik you don't wanna give it away, so without spoiling what's to come, how is Chris's creepy habits/behaviours gonna evolve?
It's just really interesting to me how you write him, as he's really complex, and us not seeing his perspective this time makes him even more interesting. So it got me wondering how he's gonna be when the jig (well, part of it) is up. I know you said before that he wouldn't feel so threatened by Dylan anymore, and they couldn't be an open/normal couple for reasons. But like...I've just been thinking here, about how different things might be between them once they are both on the same page. How Chris will evolve and Ryan too. Like you said, he isn't rlly as 'good' as he lets Chris believe. I remembered that one au idea you mentioned one time, about Ryan being jealous of Dyan/others that he thinks are Chris's new faves. It got me thinking that maybe Ryan will maybe get comfy admitting a thing or two to Chris. Something tells me he isn't gonna be as shy as he was in ASB, haha.
It got me imagining a scene of them in bed, maybe just waking up, maybe both just laying there, and Ryan could be curled around Chris and just quietly admits that he gets jealous thinking of non-existant competition, lol. Like, the thought of Chris being pursued or shown interest by someone else makes Ryan jealous, and he doesn't like it. GP Chris seems the more likely to accept that info, and maybe feel satisfaction with it? Bcs as you'd said, once Ryan shows him proof that he wants Chris not Dyan, then he's secure bcs Ryan chose him. So it's maybe a lil treat for him, yk since he's been so bothered by Dylan before. It's just a small silly imagine, kinda like one of Ryan's first awkward attempts at pillow talk, haha.
He just puts it out there after a bit, his hand on Chris's chest and all. This is random, but I love that you described Ryan in chap 1 sneaking a look at his chest hair peeking out his shirt. And just admiring him as a whole, knowing that he's being kinda weird about it in his head. Our guy is down bad for real, I love that detail, tho. Man's is obsessed. And I love that even with Chris's hidden nature just under the surface, Ryan is still like 'Yeah, I'm still on board...he's kinda being weird, and it's bothering me a bit...but that's still my man." I'm looking forward to seeing what Ryan does and how that's gonna go down with Chris. I know he's gotta be having a midlife crisis in his office after Ryan's snooping. I'm also loving the wolf patterns peeking through. It's both interesting, thrilling, and creepy to see from him.
I'd say sorry for the long ramble ask, but I think we're past that, lmao. In 2024, I accept my fate of long-winded rambles just being a thing I'll always do, haha.
heya! and a happy new year to you too! i also hope, that it treats you well! as for me, i’m fine! kinda working on things between the jobs and such, haha. and yeah, your ask is the first one! i will take this as a good omen. i love your asks! i honestly think that a detailed review or question is the highest praise and treat an author can get!
and oh don’t worry, i do love asks about supermassive! and i do love asks about chris/ryan, even if i’m currently invested in other pairs/fandoms. like, how do i say it? i guess, that i mostly just collect all my fav things into one big mental basket, so technically i don’t lose love or interest for them, merely letting them lie there for time being, while i’m playing with some other characters and setups. i guess, i’m kind of person, who if they fall in love with some narratives or elements of certain characters/ships, i just sorta keep returning to them, when i feel a flicker of interest beckoning me back to them.
but anyways! i’d say, that GP not only explores the darker underbelly of chris’s nature, but it also applies to ryan as well. they’re a perfect match in my head for a reason, haha. i suppose, that everything that i ever shipped can be broken down to the notion of how they can make one another better, but how they also can make one another worse. in GP, chris and ryan are pretty much about to do the latter, haha. but as for chris, specifically, well, he’s still trying to be somewhat decent, but he’s also kind of a man, who's at the end of his rope, so to speak. things don’t go all that great for him, and that one good thing, that he has is just endlessly tempting and ‘messing’ with him (from his perspective). it’s hard for him to not see this as an ‘invitation’ to continue his inappropriate behavior, even if he himself knows that it’s just an excuse. but it’s all the excuse that he needs at this point, really. just not be met with disgust or downright fear. and naturally, since ryan knows no better, he doesn’t view chris’s behavior as smth, that is absolutely hideous and dangerous. nope. ryan just being ryan, so he’s confused and kinda annoyed at worst. it’s basically the same as dangling a piece of fresh meat in front of a hungry wolf, and be surprised, when it snaps its jaw, not even around the piece of meat, but the wrist of a person, who holds it. it doesn’t want the meat, it wants the one who brought the meat, bc they’re a tease. what i’m trying to say, is that while in ASB chris was somewhat alright with taking things slow, and he wanted them slow for ryan’s sake, in GP, he can no longer be satisfied with just some rutting and a kiss or two. considering this, he also won’t be alright with just looking either. and you expect this kind of aggressive pushiness from emma or whoever else, when they were on the verge of becoming a werewolf, but it’s mostly bc of idk, they’re young, i guess. no one there had an esp fucked up backstory or whatever. well, maybe laura, bc she was kept hostage by a man, who was weird toward her, and she got her eye clawed out, but it’s also all low-key her own fault in a way lol. in comparison to all those examples, chris is a man with messed up childhood, messy adulthood, and bunch of uncatered needs (considering we follow my fanon, where he’s pretty much a closeted dude and was this for years). it is scary to picture what his aggression will look like lol. like in private. toward a person he loves and pins for. but who for a change pins back.
and yeah, part of why GP is ryan-centric, bc it is so much more tense and confusing to not know what chris thinking. he’s a ‘weird’, predatory dude in this, and it surely would have put one more in ease, if they knew what he’s really thinking and why he does what he does. but since the reader shares experience with ryan in this one, there is a lot of that confusion. sure, we know things that ryan doesn’t, but concerning chris himself….well, it’s still a dark spot for everyone. but then again, if we flip the tables, just like in ASB, chris might be just as unsure about wtf ryan is doing or why. and as things progress, i think that he will find himself taken aback by certain stuff, that ryan capable of, bc he’d never suspected him to be anything, but that awkward shy boy, that kinda relies on him for advice.
considering, the admission of jealousy, i can see chris being surprised by it, bc it never occurred to him, that ryan can even be worried about such a thing. i suppose, inside chris’s own head, ryan being his only ever favorite is just so cemented and natural, that he never pictured anyone else in his place. so if anything, ryan prob be the one more satisfied here, haha. tho if chris admitted, that he was jealous of dylan, ryan would also be like ‘lol why’. he never saw dylan in that light. then yeah, chris be like ‘oh, okay’ and smile, bc it’s nice to know that they’re on the same page. so stupidly committed to one another, that they both wouldn't even notice, if other people showed interest in them. also i picture, that ryan’s pillow talk won’t be much better, than his flirting skills. like, he was that pushy in ASB bc he literally have no idea how to be ‘sneaky’ or graceful about showing someone, that he fancies them. honestly, when i write characters attempting to be seductive, they either got it or they do not. i mean, some people know how to throw a rock at the water and make it do that bouncy thingy, which is pretty smooth and elegant. others would just throw that rock into the water, and create a splash, and that’s pretty much it, haha. maybe, not as impressive, but perhaps, at times more effective. ryan is kinda the latter type. he just does a thing, and chris has to stand there and deal with it. but to be fair, out of all characters who i ever written, ryan doesn’t have the worst flirting skills. or even the worst ways to get attention / get his feelings to be known. in fact, compared to some, he prob a freaking guru at this, haha.
oh, i’m glad that you liked that lusty bit, haha. i kinda wanted to show right away, that i imagine ryan to be generally into older males, not boys of his own age. like compared to that hairy chest, mainly build and muscle, dylan has nothing to show with his baby features. but considering how ryan is in GP, dylan should count it his blessing, that ryan not interested in him for a few reasons. one of which would have prob gotten him killed. and yeah, ryan is canonically obsessed with chris tbh, i just took it to a new level, haha. if ryan wasn’t all that shaken up by piling up corpses, somehow still insisting, that mister h have nothing to do with it…..well, that guy was already a lost case! now, he’s just like well, yeah, intuitively knows that smth is a ref flag, but still digs it. as for chris, his life just gets harder and harder by day lmao.
and ah, no problem, honestly! in a way, i always feel better, when someone talks as much as i do, bc i know that it won’t bother them as much. i know some folks be like ‘wow, wall of text, nope’. but i love wall of text! i talk in walls of text and it’s kinda a mystery to me how someone would not do that, esp if they’re passionate or interested in subject.
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