#feel like I'm screaming into the void over here | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

#feel like I'm screaming into the void over here

vexic929 · 2 months

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I am so tired of recommending people switch to something other than Google and them acting like I'm asking them to kill their first born

like I know that switching things over is scary and takes time, I get that, but for the love of god if you value your personal information and the ability to look up REAL facts instead of incorrect AI generated garbage I beg of you to switch to something else like Firefox and Duck Duck Go

Google IS going to fuck you, just not in the way you want, I prommy

#@ my irl friends and family #y'all are on a sinking ship and I have a ship that isn't sinking but you're so in love with yours for some reason that you won't leave #it's time to let google die #I also told my mom who is a teacher that duolingo isn't reliable anymore and she just said ''I don't care that it's AI''#ma'am you hate wikipedia because it's been wrong before a handful of times and that's REAL PEOPLE #you think AI is better???#feel like I'm screaming into the void over here #vexic lives #anti google

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graysongraysoff · 7 months

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anyway terrified that the reason my posts don't get as much engagement on here as they used to isn't because tumblr is dabbling in algorithmic shenanigans or because there just aren't as many people using the platform anymore but because everyone has gotten tired of me individually

#not to be weird about it but it used to be that i almost never made a post that netted 0 notes #like u kno. there was always The Handful of Mutuals to leave a smattering of likes on my more like. personal life bloggy blog posts.#but on days like today it's like. half the posts i make just end up with 0 notes. no acknowledgement.#like i really am just screaming into the void over here #and i'm not trying to like guilt anyone into liking my stupid posts lmao it is just something i have noticed that makes me feel #if possible #Even More Isolated Than I Already Did #which is great

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kvberhearts · 9 months

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listen

the thing abt the ahsoka show for me is. it just. it feels. it feels like a weird fan adaptation of rebels. it feels like they just went hey. what if we made really good cosplay and did a rebels sequel, i have a set we can use and some sick computer effects and graphics.

which is not a bad thing! it just! doesn't feel like it fits!

it feels like they've got the spirit of the characters, but they're just! not exactly right!

i know i'm gonna watch it bc i have to know post rebels things (that I can then choose to ignore) but. yeah.

#i think part of it is the choreography #i'm just. so used to seeing these characters fight in animation #that seeing it between real people here. feels. disjointed. and. too....? manufactured #i know we've all screamed into the void abt how it should have been animated #and we're stuck w this #but #idk i was having a hard time parsing how i feel about it #over on twt i'm seeing a lot of people like THIS IS THE BEST STAR WARS SHOW EVER u kno the usual thing that happens after a new show is out #and i'm like.....it's not tho.#even tho i am enjoying it.#like. i still. it's just. IT'S NOT THAT.#anyway i need to sleep goodnight #if u see me reblog anymore tonight no u didn't

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dirtytransmasc · 4 months

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no-no, I don't think you get it:

Driving out into the sun. Let the ultraviolet *cover me up*

went looking for a creation myth. Ended up with a pair of *cracked lips*

windows down, scream along. To some America First rap, country song

A slaughterhouse (an outlet mall)

Slot machines

Fear of God

*Windows down, heater on*

Big bolts of lightning hanging low. Over the coast, everyone's convinced. It's a government drone or an alien spaceship

Either way. we're. not. alone.

I'll find a new place to be from. A haunted house with a picket fence. To float around and ghost my friends

No, I'm Not Afraid To Disappear.

The billboard said

"The end is near"

I turned around, there was Nothing There

Yeah, I guess the end is here .

The end is here

THE END IS HERE

#welcome to me being delusional over this song yet again #I hate this song #I hate it because it makes me feel *BIG* feelings but I Don't Have The Words For Them #I know this makes no sense but it does to me ok?#“windows down. heater on” like when your a kid and its cold but your sticking your hand out the window on the highway and your hand is so-#cold its numb but the car is so warm from your parents blasting the heat and your kinda scared cause your hand comes so close-#the passing trucks and it's starting to hurt but you can't pull it back in????? if that makes sense????#looking at a slaughter house. a place that promises death. only to find a mundane mall.#we. aren't. alone.#there's Something out there #we aren't alone #I'm scared of dying. I'm scared of the unknown. I'm scared of god. but disappearing doesn't sound so bad. just... slipping away. never to-#be seen again.#there's nothing there. nothing else. no where to turn. I'd rather just disappear. its ok. I've accepted it. the end is here. that's ok....#(I'm still scared)#(I don't want to be scared)#screaming #screaming into the void #screaming to be heard #the end is so warm its cold. so cold its warm. its numbing. it feels like holding your hand outside the car window too long. it fills you-#with the same anxiety #yet it lures you in nonetheless #I know the end #(this may be a cry for help. ignore it)

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tardis--dreams · 6 months

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Oh god the.pain™️ has arrived

#oh god oh fuck #i was wrong wanting this to happen oh no no no #but considering this is likely not gonna happen again while I'm here i might as well use my heating pad #i have one left and could just slap that on to make up for my lack of a hot water bottle #but then again. what if it gets worse tomorrow #then i used up.my precious little heating pad for mild to moderate pain and not the debilitating-cannot-think kinda pain #at least this means it's gonna be over soon #and I'll have at least 3 weeks of not feeling like the worst version of myself #oh joy #void screams

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manasurge · 8 months

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#hm #might delete later #I still don't know what to do rn #idk what else to do but scream into the tumblr void bc I have no other outlet to deal with this #i'm just sitting here in silence bc my head feels like it's full and empty at the same time #erugh i was hoping lying down and then having something to eat would help; but it's not #idk what's wrong with me rn; this is very frustrating #my day is almost ending and i'm depressed I haven't done anything enjoyable yet; again very frustrating #bad combo of moody/depressed/imposter syndrome is duking it out in my head rn and I'm just... staring with my eyes glazed over #I'm getting ear blasted with my tinnitus; so I guess that's something #I was fine a couple days ago; what the hell #grrr

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mementoasts · 1 year

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oouughgh i'm suffering so many ideas can't draw anything oouguugughhgh

#the void screaming #the number of times i've opened csp today; did a 5 minute sketch; closed csp; and reopened it to do another sketch dfjhfdsjkdjsdh #IM TRYING TOO HARD I FEEL LIKE I NEED TO DRAW TO BE PRODUCTIVE but also i just rly wanna draw anyway grrrrrrrrr #the thing w/ being unable to perceive time is that it feels like it's been over a week since i last drew anything. which is just false LOL #so my brain is always like brrrrrrrrrr you need to do smthn you haven't done anything this month YES I HAVE BE QUIETTTTTT #brainrot these past few weeks has been insane i keep wanting to write/draw the emos (and mine)#i keep side eyeing my huge charms file sdfghjkjh yeah i could maybe draw a cheeb rn but. *looks up with eyes glowing red* i don't want to.#another funny thing about no time perception lately is that i can force myself outta art block in like. a few days #bc i'm perpetually like OKKKK YOU NEED TO DO ART IT'S ALL YOU'RE GOOD FOR CHOP CHOP YOU'VE HAD A LONG ENOUGH BREAK #i need to go outside or smthn afhjds but nowhere to go nothin to do can't drive no friends :( get me outta butt ass nowhere for a bit man!!#i wanna GO somewhere with PLACES and get my head outta the clouds for a day 😭😭😭 i hate it here sometimes #ANYWAY no im just gonna go gamin and try to not touch my tablet for the rest of the night #that's it that's my big rant in the tags thank u for reading my screams :)

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airenyah · 5 months

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3am and once again i'm wishing the night would never end

#i'm feeling so awake rn and there's so many things i want to do right this instance #but noooo i gotta go to sleep 🙄#one of the reasons why i don't want this night to end is bc the day i have to return to the cursed city is coming closer and closer #i don't wanna go back to uni i wanna stay here in the night and to FUN stuff 😭#gotta survive the last 3 weeks of the semester SOMEhow #airenyah plappert #screaming into the void #the paper i just gotta get through the paper that i have to write #bc the exams for my two lectures i can also take in march instead of at the end of january #i prefer NOT having to study over semester break but this time it might actually ease my stress and anxiety about my uni work load #this first semester of my master's has been extremely rough somehow idk #but maybe it's just winter #the question now is.... will fall asleep quickly or will i spend 1.5-2h tossing and turning in bed again like last night 🙆🏼‍♀️#wish me luck

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deadcaptainentertainment · 8 months

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We *were* having a lovely anniversary vacation, and then he called me by his ex's name while talking to his mom (by accident) and THEN as we were hitting the road to head home he pulled up his phone and I saw that she'd been texting him again, plus he talks about her (just general stuff like "this chick Ex knew who was-" or "Ex used to blah-blah-blah") at least once every week or two, and I just feel like even though they've been broken up for almost three years now she's still fucking HAUNTING us. Like I cannot fucking get rid of the specter of this fucking woman and it's driving me nuts. She used to text/call to come by and pick up mail or random stuff she left behind for over the first year of our relationship at least once a month if not more, and I told him then how awkward that was, and made it clear that I was uncomfortable with her still hanging around, and yet he still answers her every whim it seems like.

He thinks I'm being a bitch unnecessarily because I "don't know enough about her to dislike her (except that he's told me everything about her 🙄)" and "they're just friends these days", but I feel like I'm not being unnecessarily antagonistic when I've let him know 100 times how weird I feel about it and yet he keeps staying in regular contact with her.

#screaming to the void #I feel like a second choice here I guess #even though I'm pretty sure he's the one who dumped her it seems like he's not fully over her

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esyra · 7 months

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Haven't heard from family in days. I feel like it's time to accept they're gone. I know in my heart Palestine will, one day, be free, but it wasn't supposed to be like this.

We feared another Nakba, and it happened. 700,000 pushed out of their homes in 1948 to 1 million being forced to leave their homes in 2023.

We thought it couldn't get worse or more deadly than the Israeli invasion in 2014, and it happened. We lost 2,251 people in 50 days then. Now we're past 2,300 in one week.

What I heard most from my grandmother the first days it's that "this time is different". And I feel like a rock is crushing my heart in pieces because i've been hoping that speaking out, teaching people about the historical oppresion of Palestine would help but it's not helping. Nothing is changing.

I feel like I'm screaming into a void. There's some sympathy from people online, until I see content documenting Palestinian oppresion being flagged as 'hate speech' or check the comments of any updates on Gaza and it's: "blame it on hamas", "tell them to give up hamas", "the hamas asked for it". They're not even among civilians!!!!!

My heart feels full seeing the manifestations in favor of Palestine, then I see police forces breaking protests apart and remember that the people that can actually save Gaza don't care.

If there's nothing left to do but to watch the extermination of my people, then I'm going to beg for anyone reading this to please don't forget. Please.

Israel is hiding behind Judaism to commit genocide against Gaza. Netanyahu supported the Hamas militant group to prevent the establishment of the Palestine State, and now he's using them to justify his agenda of ethnic cleansing. He abandoned Israelis and left them to die because he cares more about seeing Gazans dead!

Every single person and institution supporting and financing Israel is complicit. I hope the deaths of every Palestinian haunts you for the rest of your lives and that you never find an ounce of forgiveness, for you do not deserve it.

Just as in the Iraq War, the US government is financing and cheering for the slaughter of millions of innocent Arab lives. The media is complicit by engaging in biased propaganda and other nuclear powers, such as the UK and Germany, are complicit too. You are fascists and war criminals and every drop of Palestinian blood is in your hands. I hope every single day, for the rest of your lives, you look in the mirror and see nothing but the blood you've helped spill.

This serves as yet another proof that not a single Western in a position of power, be it in the media or in government, sees Arabs as humans beings.

For decades, the US has comitted terrorism and crimes against humanity in the Middle East and has NEVER been held accountable. Over one million in Iraq; over 150,000 in Afghanistan; and now they'll turn Gaza into a graveyard. Punishing selected soldiers over the years does not erase the fact that the American military and its government validates their crimes during execution and are never punished for it.

Please never forget: Joe Biden is a genocidal terrorist, Rishi Sunak is a genocidal terrorist, the American Democrat Party and UK's Labour Party are led by genocidal terrorists, the European Union is led by genocidal terrorists, fuckass Walt Disney Company is led by genocidal terrorists; every celebrity that called for Palestinian death or stood by silently while ignoring our suffering is a genocidal terrorist.

May Allah protect the people in Palestine and grant the martyrs the highest level of Jannah. Wallah what keeps me here is knowing that the Akhirah is theirs. May Almighty Allah grant us imaan and Taqwa as high as the people of Gaza. Ameen.

#palestine #free palestine #may Allah protect our brothers and sisters

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aquarianlights · 9 months

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Did you ever do the DNA test on Echo?

No, as I don't have enough for an Embark. 😭 I have been DYING to do it. So badly. Moreso now than I ever have been... Since all these health problems arose and his 10th birthday is on the 17th, it makes me scared I will never get the $ to get an embark before he dies & I don't think it's possible to test after death. All I would have is his ashes, paw print stamp and some fur anyways. Kinda hoping to get a canine tooth of his or maybe both, but idk if I'm gonna genuinely do that yet. All I know FOR SURE is want some tail fur, feet fur and ear fur, a paw print stamp and his ashes. I'd LIKE a canine tooth & a nose print stamp, but it's okay if that doesn't happen.

I want to send the embark in without a picture and without telling them any breeds so there's no chance for bias at all.

Embark is the most accurate out of everything out there, but like with every other DNA kit it only goes back 3 generations. So if he does BY SOME MIRACLE come back 100% pomeranian, I'd be SHOCKED coz that means the mix was further back than three gens and probably WAY further back considering the phenotypes of his littermates and the dam and sire.

I am betting there is Mittelspitz mixed in, but that would be so odd unless his line is an import. Coz it is EXTREMELY difficult to get a Mittelspitz in the US. There are only a couple breeders in the whole country and the Mittelspitz community in America is VERY tight knit. Mittelspitz usually come to America via imports as they are not typically seen in the US naturally or by breeding. The breeding that is happening is only preservation breeding because the community is that small. There's no bybs in Mittelspitz that I know of in America and I have heard breeders outside the US are very selective of what Americans they will sell their dogs to. So it'd be SUPER odd for him to have Mittelspitz mixed in but it's the only thing that makes sense to me. He is the size. His coat texture, colouring and markings are more Mittelspitz than pom. His conformation is much more Mittelspitz. But his temperament and biddability is Pomeranian to a t.

I only know so much about Mittelspitz coz I want to get into them SO badly coz after having Echo, who is 20 lbs at a healthy pet weight, I just don't want to get a pom-sized dog. They're so tiny. And I LOVE that. At least, I DID. But after experiencing a spitz that is 20 lbs, give or take, I have found my perfect size. And finding out what he is mixed with could help me figure out what purebred to look into next. I normally wouldn't stray out of spitzes unless it was a papillion, but if he is mixed with something non-spitz, that would make me pause and look at that breed for a few years to see what they're like to see if I should add them to the list.

Most of all, I am just sad that he is turning 10 and I haven't been able to do it yet. :/ Ik a lot of furmoms always say stuff like, "I don't care what he is! I love him so it doesn't matter! He is loved so that's what is best!" as if they are personally offended, implying that people who DNA test their supposed purebreds don't love them, but I just don't understand that POV coz it's quite the opposite for me.

Knowing what breeds he is will help me with understanding him better regarding his body language and verbal signals, it will help me with his training and will help me develop a deeper bond with him.

Just because my dog is byb/not well bred and I want to find out what is in him doesn't change how I feel about him or how much I love him. It never would. If it did, it would only make me love him more as I would be able to understand him on a much deeper level. So I just don't understand why furmoms get *so* offended when DNA tests get brought up.

Anyways uh...

I know that was a yes or no question. Sorry... if you have me as a friend on fb or knew me in my early tumblr days, then you know how verbose and tangent-orientdd I am lol. 🤦🏼 Someone could say "hi" and I'd write 5 paragraphs lmao.

Ik you didn't come here to hear me ramble on about my dogs phenotype and his pedigree and so on and so forth so uh...

TL;DR: No. 😅

#thank you for asking though #at least someone is listening to me...#well #ik three people here are listening to me #they're in my inbox #i just haven't responded but I appreciate all three of them more than they know #and if this is one of you three...#thank you #this made me smile simply for the fact that it feels like SOMEONE is listening to me scream into the void...#i just feel so alone lately #not when I'm with echo #but it is SO hot that we cant exist outdoors #not with echos heart lung and tracheal conditions and double coat #and not with my photosensitive autoimmune condition #so we are trapped inside and it is like quarantine all over again but AWFUL #i loved quarantine coz.i lived alone with echo #so many other things too but i wont get into that #but now we are unfortunately living in my parents guest bedroom against our will... so it's like being captive while being stressed all the #time for absolutely no reason bc of someone else who has no reason to torture you like they do #it's fucking miserable... and I just want my life back #i want our life back...#i was SO happy living on my own and echo was THRIVING #we have both regressed so far bc of mu parents and it couldn't have happened any other way... i just dk why they have to be so attack-y #im just tired... of being alive #but i will never do anything with echo still alive coz he needs me #cardiology appt for him in oct and ik he is scared every night... im probably more scared than him tbh #im not sleeping coz im up watching him breathe every night #i just love him so much.... more than words or actions can convey... and idk what to do with those feelings except die when he dies #i need another dog to bond to before he dies but i could never afford the vet bills associated with a new dog #adding another dog wouldn't be a problem but it's the upkeep in vet bills and grooming that would be a problem and i would never skimp on it

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tetsurouskitten · 1 year

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#when you drive 4 hours for plans you are excited for only for them to be cancelled without explanation #🙃#I guess I know why #it's cause they suddenly don't feel like it #it's fine tho #I was called a bitch multiple times last night and am also the most incredibly single person there #but you're the one who's gonna cry about being single #I'm only incredibly hormonally imbalanced rn too #a second period after who weeks and hormonal acne like a bitch #It's fine tho #I'll be over here being so incredibly delusional people will laugh at me #bitches really be out here thinking they're the best liar when it's clearly me #y'all are so easy to read and so vocal about it you'll post on public accounts #i just scream into the void and hold everything in until i inevitably die alone #god i hate myself #so much #and they'd never fucking know #because I've always been lying the most and the best #but i guess I'm just too good at it lmao #a useful skill from all my trauma lmao

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gallaxyk-nd · 2 years

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huge fuck you to people who react badly when you answer a non-personal question that wasn't specifically addressed at you to be helpful because no one else knew.

Like, come on, I get that they mightn't want me in their life as their friend anymore, that's fine. It hurts but that's fine. But them telling me how insensitive I am (which obv wasn't my intention in that friendship at all and wasn't communicated to me until they cut ms off) and then them snapping at me for normal interactions makes me feel like shit. It makes me very insecure in my ability to communicate with people in a way that is perceived as good. Maybe I give myself too much blame. I mean, at least I'm trying to learn from what they told me before. Like, I'm actually really trying and being polite and keeping my distance and all.

Fuck off

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nrdmssgs · 8 months

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CONGRATS ON 500, you 100% deserve it and more !!! 🥹🌷💐 i just love your art and work so, so much!!

if it's alright, can i request 37 with könig? my husband, i need him !!!! 😮‍💨

Masterlist List of prompts What? An author, who practically inspired me to come here and start writing? An author, who gifted me the biggest brainrot for many sides of König? Sends me a request? Orla, I am such a huge fan!!!!!! I love your style, love your bold, picturesque oneshots, love your eagerness to discover so many themes. I owe you so much, you don't have an idea. I made a text and a picture in case, you don't like the text. Sorry, I'm fangirling and I'm nervous)

Does it make you nervous, when I stare?

Pairing: KonigxReader Warning: this is NSFW. And König here is not the shyest guy on Earth, because this is colonel edition.

Oh, the things, you would let this man do to you. Unspeakable, ungodly things. Things so unhinged, you wouldn't mention them even after a few rounds of shots with your besties.

One sight of his fingers tapping the tabletop during the debriefing, and you can't think about anything other than the salty taste on your lips, left by his thumb. It would take him just one word, or maybe even one glance to make you cover his index and middle finger in saliva, as he would slide them against your tongue. You'd be so good - standing on your knees for him, sucking his fingers so eagerly, fighting your own gag reflex.

One glance thrown at his forearms, tightly hugged by black cloth, and you imagine his massive hands picking you up like you weigh nothing at all. You'd freeze, learn to hold your breath for as long as he wants, until you'd feel only the brush of his mouth against yours and the grumble of his impatience when he pushes in. The intoxicating thickness of his tongue against yours would be a taste that would rocket to your core and melt you from the inside, as he'd hover over you, pushing apart your legs with the brush of his massive thighs between yours. He'd take and take and take. And how obediently will you keep giving him anything, he demands.

Looking at his hips is a serious danger. Slick outlines of his muscles, his fingers brushing up and down his lap, black holster straps spanning his thigh make you go absolutely feral. You'd be standing still, feeling his low growl with your entire body. You'd hold your hands high against the wall and arch your back, so he can have access to every single part of your body. You'd accept him reminding you, with each his hungry thrust, where your place is: wrapped in his arms while he rubs you senseless, his teeth on your neck leaving you on the edge of pain.

All that fantasies you could hide from König, if it wasn't for his eyes: deep cold silver light, sparkling with interest, every time, he caught you staring. You couldn't make yourself look away: his stare was a predatory gaze, luring you closer, easing you into a thought of coming closer, stripping you of any bit of self-preservation instinct. Yes, when he caught your eyes - König took his time, ravishing in a sight of your desperate blush, letting go of you and turning his gaze away only when you were literally choking with shame, trying to drive away the visions that he awakened in your mind. This man was to become the end of you, and every next day it was only harder to fight that feeling off.

So when you hear, he is expanding his team, it feels only natural to surrender and use this ghostly opportunity to get closer to him. You know, your chance to join the team, his inner circle, is almost zero. By no means, you can be considered a poor professional, but the Colonel is a legend here. He doesn't want just 'the best' he wants those outstanding even from the best. And your personnel files scream 'just good' at best. But you have a motivation, the one so strong and specific, that maybe only you here have. Your obsession with König is pushing you to the darkest void, you were too scared to come to earlier - the threshold of his office.

"Come in." His voice at it finest: not too loud, not too harsh, all honey and slumber. When he wants, he can be mesmerizing as a siren.

You clench your hand into a fist behind your back, thus trying to calm the trembling that is rolling up to your knees.

"Just don't look him in the eyes, and it would be ok. Hands, yes, you can bear looking at his hands and not lose it. Afterward you can have whatever you want - your toys, your fingers, your cushions... Just look at his hands, breathe deep, and it all will be alright." Your inner monologue is interrupted only when he is pulling a folder from your hands, obviously tired of waiting for you to finally give it to him.

"What do we have he- oh..." Your breath hitches, you practically hear an uncanny smile spreading across his face.

"Die Kleine will in meinem Spiel?*" König sounds amused. And although you don't entirely understand, what he said - you get the message and nod, not daring to look him in the eyes.

"Very good. I could use such a treasure..." He flips the pages and clicks his tongue when some of your personal indicators impress him. And before you manage to exhale, he adds: "But I'll need to test you. See, if you are... ready."

"Anything, Colonel!" You blurt it out and immediately shut your mouth, realizing that it might sound ambivalent. But that's enough to make König raise from his seat and lead you from offices to firing range.

You blame it upon a rush of blood to your head, but you pass his test with flying colors. Physical tests, advanced weaponry, strategy, even sparing with König leaves you alive and just a little trembling.

The thing, that breaks you, is not even a test or a check. It happens late in the evening, when you two end up in the locker room. You just need to remove one layer of the tactical gear you were using, you'll still have your shirt and jeans on. But you stop, paralyzed, seeing out of the corner of your eye how König leans against the wall, arms folded on his chest. His gaze, you feel his gaze: lingering and hungry.

"What's wrong, treasure? Are you hurt?" You are afraid to answer and reveal your trembling voice, so you just shake your head.

"You don't know, how to loosen those straps? Want me to help you?" Again: you only shake your head, hiding your gaze.

"Is it my eyes, that make you that nervous, Schatzi*?" His accent thickens, voice drops low, as he steps closer.

You instinctively lean back, but hit the wall behind you. He takes one more step towards you and places his hand between the wall and the back of your head, so that you don't hurt yourself occasionally. But very soon, he guides you to finally look up at him. There it is: silver light, that you can never look away from, once you saw it.

"Talk to me. There can be no secrets inside my team." His voice is soft once again, but you know, it is a trap. And you fall for it.

"I just get distracted. Don't worry, Colonel, I'll learn to ignore it or to live quietly with it. Sorry..." Your voice, your entire body, is trembling.

"There's nothing to apologize for." Something sparkles deep inside his eyes. He moves his veil up, so you can see his lips, and leans right to your ear. "In fact, how about you come at the same time to my office tomorrow, treasure? After all, you've proven, you can be so good for me... It's my turn to convince you, I too can be good for you, Schatzi."

Die Kleine will in meinem Spiel? - Little one wants in my game?

Schatzi - little treasure

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wooyoungmybelovedhusband · 6 months

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ɪɴɪQᴜɪᴛᴏᴜꜱ ᴊᴇʀᴋ - ʏᴊʜ

⛧ PAIRING : Gambler! Mobboss! Yoon Jeonghan x F! Reader

⛧ TROPE : Established relationship AU

⛧ GENRE : Smut, Gambling themes

⛧ SYNOPSIS : Having sat next to your boyfriend for whole three hours, got you more more than just bored.

⛧ CONTENT/WARNINGS : Bratty! Reader [I'm back with this y'all], super horny! Reader, HardDom! Jeonghan, degradation, blowjob, hair pulling, cum eating, slight ass groping, slut-shaming, Daddy kink.

⛧ WORD COUNT : 1.4k

⛧ A/N : Jeonghan has me under his chokehold y'all. be scared

⛧ DISCLAIMER : Anyone who hates or doesn't like smuts can kindly block my account. DO NOT REPORT.

Feedbacks and reblogs are greatly appreciated.

⛧ JOIN MY TAGLIST - ♛

You leaned your back on the cushions of the black leather couch. You eyed all the huge bunches of money stacked up in between the table, several different men and women sitting around the huge table as they anxiously anticipated to see the winner. Your fingers held onto the stem of your wine glass, swirling it in pure boredom you had been feeling for the whole time. But boredom wasn't all you felt, you had sat there with your mind wandering to places at the sight of your boyfriend – well almost sugar daddy – who sat with his legs spread, his pants hugging his thighs while his jaw clenched in frustration.

‘Fucking bastard’ You mutter under your breath, in annoyance, but making certain Jeonghan heard you.

His eyebrow cocks up at your curse, but his focus stays on the cards. He clenches his teeth while his hand stays on his cards. A low scoff escapes your lips at the lack of his reaction, you wanted nothing but scream at him. ‘Iniquitous Jerk’ – another curse mindlessly rolls off your tongue while you roll your eyes at the back of his head. Well who could blame you, you had been sitting there for three hours straight with nothing to do about the arousal pooling in between your legs.

You wanted him to bend you over the table and pound into you for trying to distract him in between the biggest game.

You wanted him to let his big cock sink inside your pussy while his hands caressed your ass lovingly before striking against the soft flesh.

You just wanted him and his hands all over your body, telling you to behave.

You sneakily slip your hand down to his thighs, your fingers danced on his leather covered skin. Before you could even have the thought of slipping your hand any further towards his crotch, you feel his fingers wrap around your hand and throw your hand away from his thighs – while a discreet ‘Behave’ was heard by you.

You stare off into void for the next few minutes, in pure arousal and disappointment, before you flinch hearing a loud groan from the other man next to you. And you look around to find your boyfriend smirking while his bodyguards take out three empty suitcases and bag all the money on the table. “Well played Yoon.” The older man next to you says while everyone walks out groaning and grunting.

After finally filling up the suitcases all the bodyguards eye Jeonghan for the next order. “Walk out, lock the door and wait for us. Make sure, no one even tries to enter the lounge, I've got something to take care of.” Jeonghan made sure only you were able to hear the last sentence.

He pats his thighs once he made sure the three built men left the suit, “Come here, princess.” You let out a scoff for the nth time tonight, “And why would I do that?” You taunt him, but seemingly Jeonghan's patience ran thinner than any other day, today. Maybe the man would have tolerated your behaviour for a few minutes longer usually, but today he had had enough of your little bratty blabbers through the whole night and not to forget, your scoffs and whines every few minutes had pushed him to the edge.

“Keep up with that attitude and I'll rip apart this tight little dress and make you walk out naked with my cum dripping down your legs.”

A low whimper flew from your throat before you could even have a thought of controlling it. And Jeonghan shoots you his angelic smile again, “Now, I'm asking you again, Come here, Now.”

You scramble to get yourself on top of his thigh. Jeonghan's smile morphs into a smirk at your obedience, but oh will you face the consequences. His hand comes down to the small of your back, and lowers till he's gripping the flesh of your ass harshly. “Shouldn't you start making up for your behaviour, and get on your knees by now?” Your expression changes to one of confusion. “Unless you want to be edged till we get home, and I still would not let you come.”

For a fact, you know Jeonghan isn't joking when he cocks his eyebrows while his lips part away. You swiftly sink down to your knees, your hands already working on the belt of his pants. Your fingers slip in between his waistband, pulling down his pants along with his boxers to free his cock. Your pupils dilate from excitement, and your fingers barely graze over his length before his hand is slapping yours away.

“Hands to yourself, Bad sluts don't get to touch their daddy’s cocks.”

There was hidden excitement bubbling up in you, gosh you were finally getting what you wanted the whole night. Finally getting treated like you were his slut, nothing but a cum dump for him to relieve his stress.

Your head leans forward excitedly, and Jeonghan doesn't miss the chance to taunt about that fact. “Aren't you a little too excited for a brat who was speaking nasty stuff about her daddy?” You barely try to control the bratty whine that emerges from you as you look up at him with your best puppy eyes. You knew well Jeonghan was weak for those. “Guess I have to give my slut what she wants, don't I?”

And soon, before you could comprehend, his hands intertwine between your hair locks and push you down onto his cock. Your throat constricts around his length while his hands push you down on his cock till your nose is almost touching his skin. Your eyes tear up quicker than you imagined, and your jaw struggles to take him whole. Jeonghan visibly smirks at your pathetic struggling state, feeling so powerful as he sits there leaning his back against the couch.

His hands grip tightens on your hair locks before pulling you back with a jerk. He let out a mocking chuckle at your state, tears were streaming down your cheeks and your lipstick was quite much smudged. He soon expresses a fake frustrated grunt, “Can't even fucking take my cock in her mouth like a good slut. Guess that stupid mouth is of no use is it?”

“You just caught me off guard” You defend yourself while angrily lashing back at him.

“Ah! Now don't you fucking talk back, get to work if that slutty mouth of yours is of any use.” You swiftly lowered your head back down onto his cock, while your hands were behind your back. Just like he wanted. Your plump lips moved up and down his base, while your tongue swirled around him making him throw his head back. Few strands of his hair flew to his forehead and his hands came down to slightly glide you around his cock.

“Fuck fuck fuck! Such a fucking slutty mouth you have baby? Always ready to suck daddy off isn't it?” His voice comes out hoarse followed by a loud moan. His hips try hard not to buckle right up into your mouth while his hands tightened their grip on your hair locks moving your head faster.

Jeonghan's hips finally buckle up, not being able to hold still. While his hands still your head, his hips thrust up making his dick hit the back of your throat for the second time.

Within a few seconds, you were breathing heavily through your nostrils – well trying to – and your hair was a mess under his fingers’ tight grip when you felt his hot load of cum, spill into your tongue – and some painting the roof of your mouth. Jeonghan's eyebrows furrow in delight and he throws his head back in a loud groan.

His hands take a good long lasting minute before slowly releasing you off his length with a ‘pop’. Jeonghan's heavy panting slowly dies down and regains his posture. He grips your arms and pulls you up to your feet, and makes you sit on the desk. He cups your face slowly, before letting his lips enclose yours. He could still taste himself on your tongue before he pulled away.

“Let's get to the car.” His words instantly make you exclaim, “What?!”

“Mhm, don't act greedy. You were such a good girl just now. Stay patient till we get home, and I'll fuck you till you can't walk.”

Jeonghan walks towards the door, and you follow him just two steps behind him. A scowl plastered on your face.

“Iniquitous Jerk.” – You spat under your breath. “Now, say that again, unless you want me to bend you over that table and spank your ass till it's the colour of your lipstick and not let you cum for the whole night.”

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cutielando · 6 months

Text

let me help you ~ rafe cameron

my masterlist

You knew Rafe had a problem with drugs. Everyone knew he had a problem except for Rafe himself.

Or maybe he knew and just didn't want to do anything about it. One of the 2.

All that you knew was that you couldn't deal watching him destroy his health anymore. He needed help, and you were going to make sure he was going to get it.

"Babe?" you called out as you entered the Cameron mansion.

Everything was silent and there was nobody around the downstairs area.

"Rafe!" you called out again, slowly going up the stairs.

Once you arrived upstairs, you saw Rafe coming out of his father's office clutching a watch in his hand.

"Y/N? What are you doing here?" he asked, sniffling and trying to hide the watch from you.

"We had plans, but you weren't answering your phone" you trailed off, your heart breaking when you took in his figure. "Babe, what's going on?"

"Nothing, everything's fine" he came closer to you and took your face in his hands, planting a quick peck on your lips and a longer kiss on your forehead.

"I know when you're lying, Rafe. Please don't shut me out" you whispered, closing your eyes.

You couldn't bear to look at him.

"You're going to be mad at me" he mumbled, looking anywhere but your eyes now.

"I'm not. Just please tell me what's going on. I hate seeing you like this" you reached up and ran your hands through his hair, knowing it would calm him down.

"I owe Barry some money"

The words were so soft but held so much. You closed your eyes, knowing that whenever he mentioned Barry, it was dangerous.

"Rafe, we talked about this. You said you were going to stop" you whispered, trying to keep your voice calm.

You knew you weren't going to fix anything by yelling at him, he was never good with screaming.

"I know, and I did. Baby, I swear to you, I did. Sarah and her little Pogue boyfriend stole 25K from his house the other day and he told me that I had to pay for it or he would hurt you. Baby, I've been clean for 6 months, I swear to you. You have to believe me, baby. I swear to God" tears were now streaming down his cheeks, his hands shaking and sobs racking through his body.

You pulled him into a big hug, holding him as he struggled to calm down.

"Shh, it's okay, you're okay, baby. Everything's going to be okay, I'm here" you whispered in his ear while running your hands down his back.

He nodded against your shoulder, burying his head further into the crook of your neck.

You held him close for a couple of minutes before his sobs turned into sniffles and his tears stopped falling.

"I don't know where I'll get the money, baby. My dad cut me off and is this close to kicking me out, I figured I would sell one of his watches but I know how angry he'll be once he finds out. I don't know what to do, baby. Sarah's the one involving me in shit and then she just doesn't care about me"

"Hey, look at me" you took his face in your hands, making him look at you. "We're going to go home and explain the situation to my parents. I'm sure they'll be more than happy to help you. You're going to work to pay them back once we find you a job and everything is going to be okay. Sound good?"

He nodded, his eyes holding so much love for you and your family.

Your parents knew about his problems and they never once judged him for it. They understood what kind of environment he grew up in, how much neglect he suffered from Ward and did everything they could to fill the void his parents left. They made him feel loved and safe, helped him get through rehab and maintain his sobriety.

They were the parents he never had but desperately needed.

The drive to your house was short, you lived relatively close to the Cameron's. When you stopped the car, Rafe hesitated opening the door.

"What's wrong?" you asked, reaching over and laying your hand over his.

"I'm embarrassed. I don't want to disappoint your parents, ever, and here I am getting involved in shit like this"

"Hey, you have nothing to be embarrassed about. This is not your fault, it's Sarah's. We'll explain everything and then we'll see what we can do about it, does that sound okay?"

He nodded and managed to crack a small smile, unconvincing but still there.

♡♡♡♡♡

"Of course we'll help you, Rafe. Believe me, I understand all about younger siblings and their problems, they're not easy to deal with" your father said, patting Rafe on the back.

You had caught both of your parents at home and explained the whole situation to them. Rafe mainly kept his head down because he couldn't look them in the eyes, but they didn't even judge him for a second.

"I'm so sorry for doing this, Mr. Y/L/N, I wouldn't do it if I didn't think my life depended on it. This guy is serious and he is really dangerous, I'm afraid he might hurt someone if I don't pay him the money my sister stole" Rafe rushed to say, looking between your mother and father.

"Rafe, honey, it's okay. We understand and we aren't judging you. We'll help you in any way we can, you're part of our family and we take care of each other" your mother told him, standing up and hugging your boyfriend.

Rafe wrapped his arms around your mother tightly, savoring the motherly touch and love radiating off of her.

Your heart melted at the sight, knowing how much your mother meant to Rafe.

♡♡♡♡♡

"How did it go?" you asked Rafe as soon as he walked into your house.

He had decided to go to Barry's alone because he wanted to make sure you were safe and sound somewhere he couldn't hurt you.

"I'm free" his smile was so large you thought it was going to rip his face in half.

You squealed and jumped into his arms, wrapping your legs around his waist.

He let out a big breath and laughed breathlessly, not believing the words he just spoke. He never thought he would be free of Barry, free of the drugs he supplied him, but you changed everything for him.

"Thank you" he said, pulling away just enough to see your face.

"You have nothing to thank me for. I love you and I wasn't about to let you suffer alone" you grabbed his cheeks with both your hands.

"I love you too" he leaned in and captured your lips with his.

And as you were standing in the middle of the living room in each other's arms, you knew there was nothing you couldn't do.

As long as you had each other, you could conquer the world.

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