#feel bad for projecting so much onto them
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okay, inspired by @dragon-spaghetti's chronic pain Husk headcanons, I present Angel with atypical migraines
Angel getting knocked off balance after a few grueling weeks at the studio (because stress makes them worse), but like with the kind of vertigo that makes you feel like you're floating and untethered, but not spinning
Husk notices when something's off because Angel will stand up from the bar and pause with a hand outstretched before he starts walking, like he needs to recalibrate real quick
he lays on top of Husk with his face in Husk's chest because it's dark and then he'll forbid Husk from moving because that makes it worse, so Husk just kinda rests a hand on his back while they cuddle
#idk idk i've been thinking about this like#if you see this i hope you don't mind that i tagged you#but the chronic pain husk hcs were so good and i am dying to talk about chronic pain husk and atypical migraines angel#i haven't fleshed out the thoughts really at all but i just think angel gets these occasionally and it'll just#wreck him#husk keeps him company because like....there's not much you can do for vestibular migraine#yes i AM projecting onto him#what are blorbos for if not to make them suffer as you suffer#hazbin hotel#hazbin angel dust#i think he would get pain too but as the vertigo part wears off#and more like mild to moderate pain#idk i'm still sort of figuring out how this looks in my head#but i just like the idea of his head feeling bad and the two of them taking care of each other during their bad times
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Draco Malfoy Headcanons
Warnings: Toxic!Draco | Bullying | Mentions of Rough Sex, BDSM, Choking, Worship/Praise Kink | Oral (F Receiving) | Mentions of Drugs and Alcohol | Let me know if I missed something.
Fem!Reader
Author's Note: I've got a love-hate relationship with Draco Malfoy.
Proofread, but might have mistakes.
Theodore Nott Headcanons
Mattheo Riddle Headcanons
Lorenzo Berkshire Headcanons
Blaise Zabini Headcanons
Tom Riddle Headcanons
Masterlist
Minors DNI | 18+
Draco Malfoy | Physique
5’11 | I don’t see him as being super tall.
Draco is more on the lanky side.
Working out? Physical labor? Absolutely not. | He plays quidditch for the attention. Genuinely hates sweating like ew.
Resting bitch face. THE WORST resting bitch face. He looks like such a bitch, I can’t stress this enough.
SO UNAPPROACHABLE
But he is really pretty. | I know I say this for pretty much all of them, but that’s how you HAVE to describe Draco
Draco is pretty and no one can argue with me on this.
Draco Malfoy | Personality
Dick
Genuinely awful to almost everyone
He’s a powerful person and he likes to let that be known. Always looks down on people who don’t share his status
He and Lorenzo have that same frustrating energy in very similar ways.
Lorenzo is frustrating because he tries to pretend he’s not actually the worst.
Draco is frustrating because he just has so much audacity
“Hey, nice shirt.”
“Oh, thanks! I actu-”
“I’m kidding, that’s the ugliest fucking shirt I’ve seen in my entire life. Did you actually think I was serious? Where did you get that? The dump? Merlin, you look AWFUL! I can’t believe you left the house looking like th-”
| Regina George energy |
Was that necessary? No, but Draco doesn’t care. He hurt your feelings? OH WELL
He WILL laugh in the face of anyone who cries in front of him because why are you acting so pitiful?
Sure he just pointed out your deepest and most shameful insecurity, but geez pull yourself together.
He likes to remind everyone that no matter how hard they try they will never be him.
Because he’s Draco mother fucking Malfoy. | Duh.
FLAUNTS
Doesn’t know what humble means. If has it, he’s displaying it it.
Projects his insecurities onto others.
He treats others so poorly because that's how he treats himself. He is his own worst critic and he feels a lot of pressure from other influences in his life too.
Uptight. High Standards that everyone must meet.
Draco can still loosen upthough. He enjoys a good party.
Prefers to host so that he can control the guest list.
Whenever he doesn’t host he’ll complain the whole time because that guy would have never been let into one of his parties.
Draco smokes and drinks but it’s 50/50 on how messed up he gets
If he’s out with just Mattheo, Theo, and Enzo then he’s pretty sober because who knows what he’ll get into with those three.
If Tom or Blaise are there then he’ll go a little crazy because he knows those two won’t let anything too bad happen. | Mostly Blaise. Tom will only intervene if it’s for his benefit.
Draco Malfoy | Casanova
Draco is someone else I can see who targets other people's girlfriends
Whereas Theo does it only if their boyfriend pissed him off, Draco does it merely because he can.
Generally, Draco is very dominant in a toxic Alpha Male kinda way
He likes to go all out. Takes them on dates, wine and dine, fanciest restaurants, fanciest cars, just the whole nine.
He doesn't want them to talk much unless it’s to compliment him. He’s not so much doing the grand gestures to impress women. He’s mainly doing it to flex on other men.
He still cares in some way though because uhh
After the date, he takes them back to his room, and AHH
SO GOOD
He thrives off of pleasing his partner. If he can make a girl scream his name even ONCE he is walking around the next day like he is a GOD. | More so than usual.
Loves giving and he would never tell anyone to do this, but if you throw in some praise? One crumb of praise?? FERAL
He goes into overdrive. They thought he was good before, but if they praise him next thing they know their legs are shaking and they’re cramping so bad because they just can’t take anymore but it feels so fucking good so they will take it all with no complaints
Quite the reputation in bed.
Overstimulation, bondage, choking, anything to give him the control he wants.
But then he has someone extra special for the lack of control he needs. | I feel like this person is Pansy, but that’s a whole other story.
Draco wants to be a sub SO BAD, but he will only let those he trusts see that side of him.
One girl, MAYBE TWO! MAYBE
But even having one person who knows that side of him exists makes him so anxious so he will probably only stick to that one person.
Draco likes to talk about every single girl he fucks and he brags about his encounters regularly.
But he’s taking his secret Dom to the grave and he will gaslight the shit out of everyone if he is ever exposed. He REFUSES to let people know that side of him exists.
Draco Malfoy | Friend
Closest to Mattheo and Blaise | I KNOW PEOPLE DON’T PUT HIM IN MATTHEO TOGETHER HER! I EXPLAIN IT A LITTLE BIT IN MY MATTHEO HC BUT IT MAKES SENSE!
Draco is a good friend
He’s such a sweet guy once he gets comfortable around someone.
So supportive!! | Lucius and Narcissa loved to cheer for their baby boy so that’s how he treats his friends.
As long as it makes him look good!
If someone is playing a game with him and they’re on the opposite team then he is spending every second praying for their downfall
But if his friend is on the same team as him then he becomes so proud every time they do something right.
Look at his bestie out there showing everyone their skills and helping him win. | Go bestie!
Outside of his selfish nature, he doesn’t like to see his friends fail.
He gets really unhappy when he feels like he’s failed at something and so he projects those feelings onto others and in turn that makes him want to help his friends succeed.
He thinks if they don’t then they’ll feel the way about themselves that he feels about himself.
He will always make sure his friends have their notes, they’re in class, they’re eating, they’re studying, etc.
And if they’re doing any sort of presentation, performance, whatever he will be in the crowd like the proud parent he is.
Does not share.
If Blaise asks to use his Dior cologne he is absolutely saying no because he doesn’t want to waste any of it. | Only child behavior. No offense.
But he’ll go out the next day and buy Blaise his own.
“Here,” as he drops the box in front of him.
“Is this?”
“You said you wanted to try it,” he shrugs
“You didn’t have to buy me a bottle! You could have just let me use yours.”
“And why would I do that?”
Draco Malfoy | Boyfriend
He's so obvious when he's in love.
He genuinely treats you like you're some sort of a goddess.
Draco would not let you do anything.
He won’t do it for you, but he’ll find someone who will.
“Draco, why is Mattheo on a rampage in the library? I was walking by and heard Pince screaming at him.”
“I told him if he found that book you needed for your test I’d take him to the concert next weekend.”
“But you promised me I could go!”
“You are going.”
“Then why-“
“Shhhhhh”
You will always be his number one priority. Acts of Service
Draco will basically upgrade your life.
Does your water bottle leak sometimes? He’s already bought you a new one.
He presents you with gifts, but if it’s a replacement he usually switches them out and will tell you later.
You would need to communicate when something is sentimental because otherwise, he’s throwing it out for a new one
Door creaks? New door. The drawer won’t open properly? New dresser. Woke up with a sore back? New mattress.
He just bought the items, someone else replaced them.
Eventually, he’ll start doing some services himself too.
At first, it seems beneath him, but once he’s all in he doesn’t even have to think about it.
Puts his jacket on the ground because you want to sit and enjoy nature and he won’t let you get your outfit dirty
Will make sure to loosen up any skincare, food jars, or whatever he knows you regularly use so that you don’t have to waste time seeking him out to do it.
He knows when you’ll use them and gives himself time in his schedule to loosen them just before you need them.
Will not let you stress over anything.
The second you mention you have more than three things to do that day he’s already rejecting the idea.
“Oh, absolutely not. That’s way too much. I’ll have someone do that for you.”
He’s not letting you work. You’re too good to work.
A life of luxury, baby. Gift Giving
DRACO EXCELS IN THIS CATEGORY
You guys don’t even need to be dating for that long. On your third date, he shows up with a Birkin bag
His parents bought his love and that’s how he would treat his partner as well.
He would not let you pay for anything.
Same mentality as Theo where he just thinks it would make him look bad if you ever did pay for anything so it’s not happening. It doesn’t matter if you actually want to pay.
Why would Draco Malfoy let anyone pay for him? That’s so embarrassing.
Elevates your wardrobe. He wants to coordinate. Not so much matching outfits but if he’s wearing all black then you’re wearing all black.
Will be very controlling with this kind of stuff. He wants you to always fit his aesthetic. If he’s not wearing sweatpants then neither are you.
Why should you dress comfortably when he bought you 10 different dresses just in the last hour?
New shoes, makeup, nails, hair
Paying for your facial because his girl needs to relax.
And he’s in the chair next to you because all of those looks of disdain he gives out on the daily are giving him wrinkles. | Skincare King.
And to make sure his girl gets the best treatment
You deserve it all and he will show you that and tell you that every single day.
Little off-track Draco rant moment coming up.
I feel like when you first start dating Draco he will be a little judgmental and controlling. Like with what I mentioned about him wanting you to have a specific aesthetic
But when he falls in LOVE
He has this full-body reaction to every single thing you do.
You wake up in the morning your hair a mess, boob hanging out, crust all up in your eyes and he just looks at you and his stomach gets this queasy yet dull feeling and his mind is zeroed in on you. It’s like someone literally went into his brain and fully erased every single thought that wasn’t centered around you.
He feels the hairs raise around his body and he gets this rush of adrenaline from being both excited and so nervous because how the fuck is the most beautiful person in the world in his bed right now?
But the main thing he notices is his heart. This ache takes over his chest as he’s so overwhelmed with how much he loves you.
And to get it all out he HAS to tell you every single day. All day.
Words of Affirmation
Dating Draco means you have to be comfortable with compliments because he positively will not stop.
“The way this light is hitting you makes you look amazing.”
“I swear you’re the most beautiful person I have ever seen.”
It doesn't matter if you're eating, studying, or talking to your friend or professor he will always find the right moment to lean forward, his lips brushing against your ear as he tells you how beautiful you are.
Once more, when Draco is in love with you, for lack of a better word, he becomes the utmost simp.
Did you pass your exams? Just barely pass them?
“You’re so impressive. You’re so smart, I can’t believe I’m dating you. I’m so lucky.”
Style your hair differently?
“You’re so creative. How do you come up with this stuff? That’s amazing, you look so good.”
Cook eggs? The most basic meal ever or even if you don’t cook and just order out
“You always know exactly what I need. I’m so thankful for you. You always take such good care of me. I appreciate you so much.”
He doesn’t care how cringey he sounds. His girl is a goddess and she deserves to be worshipped. Both with words and with Physical Touch
Draco loves to touch you, but he’s not fully comfortable with PDA.
He was raised in a household where those things weren’t proper to display in front of others.
All of his PDA is very subtle. Your hands rest next to each other as you’re sitting down and he has two fingers gently rested atop of yours.
Standing next to each other somewhere and he has his hand gripping the back of your arm. Kind of his way of showing everyone who you belong. And also reminding you that he’s there. Just so you don’t forget about your lovely boyfriend.
When you’re with friends and the air is more relaxed he’ll keep an arm around your shoulder and softly play with your earlobe.
It’s all very subtle. Then when you’re in private he becomes so annoying
He needs physical touch and he needs it NOW
After class every day he needs at least a 20-minute cuddle session. 20 minutes and no less. He will build his entire schedule around this and will bitch out anyone who ruins his time with you.
He prefers to be the little spoon and he likes to rest his head very nicely upon your boobs
Back rubs are mandatory. You need to rub his back as soon as he lays down.
Playing with his hair isn’t a necessity, but it’s preferred.
However, if you are playing with his hair then you need to commit. Don’t just run your fingers through it once and call it a day.
“Baby, please. I can’t deal with this today. I’ve already had so many things go wrong, if you take your hand away from my head again I will frankly have a nervous breakdown.”
“Draco, calm down. It’s not tha-“
“PLEASE!”
He takes the Quality Time he gets with you very seriously.
Draco can be busy, he’s not that partner who is around you 24/7 but when he is with you he is fully devoted.
Anything that might distract him is getting pushed to the side and he is 100% yours.
Do you want to watch the same movie for the 6th time in two weeks? Fully invested. He knows every line. Even if he hates it he will never act like he’s uninterested or bored.
If it’s important to you then it’s important to him.
You want to rant about how that one person pissed you off again? All ears.
Do you simply want someone to go with you to the store, for a walk, or just do the most random thing? Of course, he will come. If you need him to do something? Great, he’ll help. Do you just want company? He will gladly be a figure in the background you can talk to when you want to.
Draco will never let you believe for a second he isn’t absolutely in love with you. His love is filled with such enthusiasm and care that it’s easy to see how much he wants you in his life
And in his bed | ;)
Draco Malfoy | Committed Lover
Remember when I said Draco likes to worship you?
IT IS BECAUSE HE HAS A WORSHIP KINK
He doesn’t like to be rushed during sex. You are the most ethereal being he has ever seen and he needs to take his time with you.
He has every detail of your body memorized because he loves to look at, feel, and taste every morsel of you.
Sprawled out against his bed, frustrated and desperate because Draco has spent the last 45 minutes kissing almost your entire body, purposely leaving out the spot you need him at most.
He may take 45 minutes to an hour just focusing on the rest of your body, but he saves your breathtaking cunt for last because he has to dedicate at least three hours to that
Munch.
It’s concerning how often Draco eats you out. If you let him I’m sure he would do it at least four-five times a day. On his knees with his tongue swiftly moving over your sensitive bud while he looks up at you in awe because you just look so pretty when you cry for him.
Draco would have a hard time teasing you or withholding anything.
It’s like he goes into a trance.
Cock being sucked into your achy cunt, squeezing him so tight he feels like he can’t breathe
And then your lashes flutter and your mouth parts and he just stares at you mindlessly as he continues to drill himself into you.
You’re so pretty he can hardly focus.
Draco is adaptable. He’s a switch, but he prefers to be a sub.
It’s when his worship kink and praise kink come out the most. He wants to worship you but he would like it if you praised him in the process for being such a good boy.
On his knees staring up at you as he runs his tongue from the top of your ankle all the way to the end of your hip.
You’re sitting down as Draco rests his head against your lap-begging, pleading for you to bounce on his cock and use him like the good little toy he is.
And you do.
Draco does so much for you. He would lay the world at your feet. It’s only fair that he gets a little treat.
————
hehehehehe
#slytherin boys#draco malfoy#draco malfoy smut#draco lucius malfoy#draco malfoy headcanon#draco x reader#draco malfoy x reader#slytherin boys headcanons#Draco Malfoy hc#Slytherin Boys hc#slytherin boys smut#theodore nott#blaise zabini#lorenzo berkshire#tom riddle#theo nott#enzo berkshire#theodore nott smut#slytherin#slytherin boys x reader#theo nott smut#Mattheo riddle
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I think this shitshow with Toshiro stems from the trend of people INSISTING that interpersonal conflict must be a moral failing. Like I think there's something to be said about how people afford so much less patience to people who are autistic in the "wrong" ways, but also Laios and Toshiro just clash on a fundamental level that has nothing to do with that. Hell, you could read Toshiro as autistic as well. People related to Laios' side of the argument but instead of getting any nuance out of it they started projecting their experiences with ableist people onto Toshiro.
AGREE AGREE AGREE. i think that Fandom Brain gets people very used to thinking of conflicts in terms of "who is the bad guy and who is the good guy", so when they encounter a more nuanced conflict they don't really know what to do. i don't think toshiro is a bad person at all, in his conflict with laios he's just exhausted and starving and has been pushed to the limit and from his perspective, laios doesn't even seem that emotionally affected by the situation. i don't think what he said was right and it was pretty cruel, but i don't think he's a villain or deserves to be permanently hated as a character just bc he fucked up this time lol
also yeah you could definitely read him as autistic, and i think that highlights an issue in the autistic community in general bc like....... a lot of autistic people have conflicting needs which can lead to conflict between them/make them unable to stand being around each other. and it's not because either of them are neurotypical or bad people, they're just incompatible. like autistic people who loudly stim vocally and autistic people who meltdown when they have to be around loud noises, for example. it doesn't mean either of them is bad or not autistic, just that they have conflicting needs
i 100% agree with the last part too. i disliked toshiro at first myself bc i had been (and still do ngl) projecting onto laios hard and the conflict they had reminded me of times when people have been mean or angry at me irl for social blunders i've made unintentionally, or when someone i thought liked me/was my friend turned out to actually hate me. it's a common experience for autistic people and that scene resonates with that! but i think it also helps to take a step back from projecting our own traumatic experiences onto the scene and just look at it objectively. laios isn't perfect either and he's the one who actually starts the physical fight by slapping toshiro (i feel like i don't see many people mention this lol). i feel super bad for him in that scene but he's not a perfect victim and has done things wrong himself too
as an autistic person i've also been in situations where i can relate to toshiro too lol, like where someone is overly physically and emotionally familiar with me when we don't know each other well and i've wanted them to back off but haven't been sure how to say it without hurting their feelings. this kind of conflict is far from just being a "neurotypical vs neurodivergent" thing as a lot of people portray it in the fandom
idk i just wish people would think a little more deeply about the scene and put their own emotions and experiences aside to instead consider the conflict with the added context of the individual characters and their respective cultures + the situation they're in. people don't have to like toshiro but i wish they wouldn't paint him as a villain or make up awful shit about him just to justify their feelings when he isn't even that bad of a dude in canon yknow 😑. also we literally see him at rock bottom struggling and freaking out and i think that's important to remember. in a different context i doubt he would have ever said those things to laios
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me, dean, and everyone else watching: ok sure, sammy
#vics spn rewatch#spn 1x10#the apology is made worse by j*red's inability to actually sound sincere#he's doing his fake sympathy voice and it is so. grating#adds a fascinating unintentional layer to sam as we've talked abt before#and it's like not necessarily a Bad thing to perform rather than feel sympathy#but like. this is very much a non-apology and dean knows it and we all know it#sam DID mean those things on some level. maybe not as harshly as he said them bc his anger WAS being heightened by the ghost#but those feelings were real#and sam is allowed to feel them. but they are in many ways. a projection and also unfounded#sam literally could leave at any time and dean would let him go (as we'll see in thee very next episode!!)#just bc he feels those feelings doesn't mean they're inherently true#dean isn't keeping him trapped. dean isn't just blindly following orders. dean Does have a mind of his own#and in fact dean isn't being all that great of a dutiful son bc he actively is not all that interested in finding john!! not the way sam is#and you'd think for dean being the one to initially show up and ask sam's help that he'd be more invested in finding john#and making sure he's actually alive instead of following random coordinates to a case. and taking on every other case they find too#anyways. sam's feelings of anger are real bc he feels them and it's okay to feel things#but he's massively misinterpreting and projecting things onto dean#and then he feels guilty (like post-possession) and tries to swipe it all under the rug and claim he didn't mean any of it#but he Does. and dean knows it. everyone knows it.#his perceptions do not align w/ what's really happening. bc he doesn't have the full context.#bc he doesn't know just how complicated dean's relationship to john really is. bc he was sheltered from a lot of that.#he sees dean desperate for approval and a good little soldier#when in reality dean was playing peacekeeper and mediator and punching bag most of their childhood.#and rn dean doesn't really care that much abt finding john. he just wants to hang out with his brother#not samcr*t btw. we love all this abt him it's spicy it's crunchy it's tasty
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whenvr someone likes a comic page and i see it on my activity tab it lets me know that the person is reading it
i hope that person is enjoying the read
#theres some outdated character thingies and designs in heist like sk willing to stab monk for example-#now that his character is more clear he would NOT do that so theres gonna be a lot of retconning#though come to think of it he would do that just to back arti off but still#ehhh dont think too much haha#i do think everything after hunt theres more clear characterizations from there on out#hunter DOES think of saint as a friend n feels bad for them but also kinda fears them. this is consistent from hunt where saint is INCLUDED#saint is a messy character overall to write but i do project a part of myself onto them
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saw a post talking about bethany and carver and how strange their fanon characterizations are, and tumblr kept messing up and i couldn’t reblog it, so i’m making my own post with what i put in the tags
bethany and carver both hate their lives, even before they come to kirkwall. the difference is that carver blames hawke for it, while bethany blames herself. and i think some of the reason the former gets so much more meta/sympathy/etc is because self-esteem issues are a muddy and uncomfortable thing to talk about, and it’s easier to talk about carver’s issue. he has a scapegoat and a built-in success story: as soon as he strikes out on his own, he’ll be all right
i think bethany is less popular for a lot of reasons. first of all, mage seems to be a disproportionately popular class, so some people would never even meet her. also, she doesn’t make a very strong first impression. a lot of people think she’s bland so they wouldn’t be interested in keeping her in the party and getting to know more about her. because at first glance, she is the mild-mannered polite perfect daughter character. that’s who she has to be, because it averts suspicion from the templars if she follows the rules, sure, but also because it’s how she makes it up to her family for being a mage. they’ve already done so much for her without even asking; how could she possibly inconvenience them any more? she’s a burden just by existing, so she has to do everything she can, be as unobtrusive as possible, to make up for that
#bethany hawke#dragon age#i wonder a lot how much of the hawke family canon is just. people projecting their own family issues onto them tbh#like carver as the neglected middle child. bethany as the beloved youngest who the other two resent. leandra being emotionally manipulative#etc#i’m not trying to put carver down to lift bethany up#i think they’re both wonderfully written#and it’s always confused me why he’s so much more popular#it’s probably just because. one is easier to talk about.#i won’t lie i’ve definitely related to bethany during some Bad Times#people who have self esteem/self loathing issues are generally seen as like#immature and whiny. but imo bethany’s issue is more akin to like internalized homophobia or something#because it’s a deeper systemic issue that isn’t just going to disappear when she learns self confidence#and as she grows up that resentment transfers#from herself to the world at large for being like this. for making her and people like her feel that way#rip i forgot to put these in the tags at first. i hope saving it will do that
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my ex, who lives alone, is apparently about to buy a 5-bedroom, 4-bathroom, 2-garage house. what. i'm getting stressed out just hearing about it. tf you gonna do with all that space, bro? how you gonna clean all those bathrooms???
#he's like well i want one room for my home office and one room for my hobby and one guest room#add in a bedroom for him and that's still only 4 bedrooms? you have an entire extra bedroom????#plus an extra garage???#damn he thinks he's lonely now but dude just you wait until you spend every day ALONE IN A FIVE-BEDROOM HOUSE#trying not to project too much onto him but i really think this is absurd outside of my own preferences#he's been stressed living in his 1b apt bc his hobby takes up a lot of space#but i think this is just another example of his general propensity to treat the symptoms and not the disease#the problem is he's overcommitting & extending himself too much & he never finishes anything#that's what actually stresses him out#so him in a 5b house is just going to be him filling all that space with stuff until he's stressed again#anyway i have NO IDEA how to react to this because i think it's such a bad idea#i'm really bad at faking things i don't feel but i feel like it's too late to say 'wyd bro???' because apparently his offer was accepted#i did ask him how he's going to clean 4 bathrooms and he said he's just not going to use them#also it feels weird morally for a single (rich) man to buy an entire 5b house only for him in the middle of the seattle housing crisis#not like if he didn't buy it someone else would buy it and make it into affordable housing units so maybe it doesn't matter#still feels weird though and contributes to me not knowing how to react#if you have any advice for me followers...i am all ears#i've been really floundering on how to be a supportive friend to him lately#just really struggling with how to engage with him when it feels like he's his own worst enemy#and like it's not that he needs to have the same priorities as me it's just that he comes to me all stressed out and idk how to react#bc 'no shit you're stressed out. have you tried making completely different choices?' isn't a great option lol
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i don't judge bc u do u, but i do wonder sometimes how actors would feel if you introduced them to the concept of kinning. like this person thinks they had your face and voice in their past life. do you think you were paid enough while working on this project to comprehend that. the microphone is taken from my hand and i am forcibly removed from the convention room.
#txt#thinking about this more bc having to share spaces where people kin my faves more recently#and how i rly am not comfortable with that just on a personal basis of... i don't like the feeling that other people almost 'own' my blorbo#in fandom spaces at least? where ur kinda supposed to be collaborative? obviously. real people do own my blorbos.#but anyway yeah we're all playing with dolls and another person's version of that doll just happens to also have that layer#of kin memories and so on - and it's not at all the same but i project onto my faves so i'm sure That can be something#people who just want a more normal discussion are uncomfortable with too to have to consider too like what if i start#taking things too personally - it's up to us how we act about it regardless of how we feel about a character#but idk i just rly don't like having to take the kin thing into consideration for how i talk about a character in those spaces?#bc the sorta finality and ownership of kin memories and kin identities with how some people go about them just feels#inconsiderate to how in a fandom you're supposed to have different interpretations#and of course some people are more/less normal about it than others regardless of kinning but#personallyyyyyyyyyyyy i don't know how much i trust certain people to be normal about it#(and it is a little tiring to have to get 'it's a religious belief!' thrown out for excusing rude behavior in all honesty)#(and yeah i respect that as long as it doesn't impact how you interact with other people that badly and unfortunately. it tends to.)#so i could not imagine being an actor or writer who made the character w specific intent and got faced with all the implications of that#for good or for bad jl;sdlfj#on one hand maybe people would find it cool#on the other i don't think i would be quite comfortable with parts of it#but yk. things you have to expect when u put urself out there#even though this probably isnt something initially expected#which i guess at the end of the day is why u keep these things separate bc you could probs make a similar argument for#'how do you feel about the idea of your face/voice' being used in fanfic/fanart of varying ratings'#but still i do feel like 'my specific past life looked like you' is a step up into... somewhere different
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watched mac finds his pride. i have a lot of thoughts. most of which are "wow rob mcelhenney can convey how internal thoughts and emotions about core gay experiences really genuinely feel entirely through his face. thats really cool. also holy shit they nailed down the internal thoughts and emotions about core gay experiences." mac feeling like hes struggling to find his place in the queer community, feeling lost and disconnected from so many other queers that youre expected to be like, how youre expected to feel about your own sexuality, trying to express how your sexuality feels internally, to other people, to the emotions and thoughts happening when youre coming out, when you feel like you cant come out, when you have to much pressure on you to not be a faggot
#im really bad with interpretive dance so i dont have a lot to say on that at the moment#though with my gut reaction to project my own feelings onto it.#i mean. i understand#even if i dont get it im definitely understanding the emotions coming through here#and ive also felt them a million times before#god. every day ronald "mac'' mcdonald becomes more and more relatable and its miserable#iasip spoilies#idc about tagging this rly i dont have much new to say i feel#not until i know this episode like the back of my hand#which i will. eventually. i assure you.
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(If you don't want to talk further, pls feel free to delete this w/o reply) I've also had someone I'm dating pull the "you should've said something earlier" card when I brought up an issue and it's so frustrating; not only does it sidestep the issue you were trying to resolve, but it also makes it so much harder to bring up issues going forward, esp if you're like me and working on establishing healthy boundaries in relationships
it's just soooooooo. ugh it bothers me that it makes this gesture at prioritizing good communication while sidestepping the fact that actually communicating about issues isn't always pleasurable because it requires you to accept and acknowledge that you sometimes hurt other people by accident?
i understand having that defensive response because it's uncomfortable to hear that you've hurt someone but if the other person is trying to communicate with you about a boundary that's a sign that they want to continue having a relationship with you? any attempt to communicate a boundary is trying to do that work, even if it's not delivered at the exact time and in the exact way you would prefer.
#i also don't really understand what anyone thinks it'll accomplish to be like 'well this would be great if only you had told me before'#like cool i can't change the past though so my options are to say it now or keep putting it off or maybe say it never#it's very the best time to start was yesterday the second best time is now y'know#i can't tell how much sense any of this made but i do think that people will project their own shame about feeling like they've messed up#onto anyone who tells them they've messed up do that they can blame someone for the fact that they feel bad hearing it#idk it falls into my least favorite category of gay communication where people want to assign Goodness or Badness to your communication#based on how hearing it made them feel#which is like okay i'm sorry you're experiencing an ego wound. but nonetheless.#i'm trying to make this work#anonymous#ask and receive
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I just realized my reader target audience is like. Likes horror but mostly just for the action/metaphor/fantasy elements of it all, mostly coming for the hurt/comfort and healing. So yes similar to the dmbj audience probably
#rant#djdjj i just. realized my not super niche weilan au#is definitely in the horror genre#like. its not gonna be that scary? but i saw a mermaid movie once where#the mermaid ate ppl on a ship and was the main monster and Character#and that 1 deeply affects how i tend to write mermaids and imagine them#2 thats kinda my take on Many fantasy things tbh like#i have an oc universe called The Blank Files and like. theres not a lot of genuinely evil dangerous ppl#but there is a lot of fantasy creatures doing whats Normal for them but terrifying for others#its very much like. idk if u view#a wolf or a lion as scary. theres this hangup in the narrative about it cause fantasy creatures are aware like humans#of their own morality. the same way a human who defends themselves in a fight or runs for their life#is aware of their own values and capacity for violence to survive. so like. if a lion was aware it would fight another lion to protect its#family. ans that lion contemplated the morality of it. if a lion felt bad for eating a zebra sometimrs. but was like what else am i gonna#eat. its not depicted so much as horror as just like. very human questions of self Projected onto what we consider monsters#like if a mermaid were a real flesh eating animal? it would just be doing what humans do#to whatever its prey is. but because it would be smart like a human. would it feel bad if it ate other things as smart as it?#its very Jennifers Body or Ginger Snaps type horror. in that its not so much scary#as it is the mundane fears we have turned into a Fantastical situation#which The Lost Tomb Reboot did Well and i very much love#in fact most of my fave rhings do it. like Love and Redemption with demons.#and usually i jusr use the horror/fantasy as a way for ppl to be on an adventure (action) as a backdrop for#them to figure stuff out about themselves and heal amd support each other#which now that i write that. is very similar to Guardian dramas approacj#which partly explains why its an absolute fave drama of mine lpl
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in intrest in antagonistic characters...its too strong.!! STOP! STOP APPLYING THE SONGS THAT MATCH OTHER CHARATCERS BETER NO NOOOOOOOOOOOO-
(in relation to Cobalt and Mew of Reality from the pmd webcomic,
Hope In Friends").
for SOME context cobalt is a unrepentant bully who beats up a blind kid and mew of reality is a tyrant demi-god mew who is basically a toxic ass influence. (she has done SOO MUCH more but )
#hif posting#WAHHH SOMETHING ABOUT THOSE TWO. THEY HAD EFFECTS DOYOU UDNERSTAND ME#THEYRE LONG DEAD (at lesat one of them is for sure but plausible denability applies to mew of reality)#BUT LIKE. THEYRE STILL KINDA RELAVANT TO PRESENT DAY EVENTS. THEY HAVE DONE SO MUCH AWFL AND EVIL THINGS AND GUESS WHAT#they're remmebered. THEY MATTER THEY MADE AN IMPACT#I CANT GET OVER IT!! THEY MATTER! THIER ACTIONS MATTERED!#AND THYER just. HORRIBLE PEOPLE. JUST. THEY jUST KINDA ARE. but also. also#they feel tings#also im 100% sure ive started projecting onto them but like i like. i really like my applied ideas that they weren't that bad at the start.#like they werent decent but. they had the capacity to care. they CAN care. and then by the stroke of just. another person or just circumsta#or just themselves they're left fuming. theyre assholes. and they find refuge in that in a way some of it is lashing out#i dont know like. my hcs make them “sympahethic”?? but really theyre still horrible people im not denying that but . i like to think and#acknowldge they're like people within the narrative too.bad people can have bad things happen to them that they don't deserve but they can#still also be bad people. in general. and do shitty things in response like wahhhh#mew of reality and cobalttt#ramble
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i feel like a lot of my pet/cat opinions sound like theyre teetering on the edge of "animal ownership is problematic" but i am absolutely not hinting at that. i just. have weird ideas about pet animals
#posts#^guy who is a cat#but yeah like. i very much know how cats and dogs differ from humans and im not gonna try to treat them like humans#< ive gone on many-a-rant about how that exact behavior is my least faorite thing ever. thats what makes ppl project human morals onto pets#hate that. your dog isnt doing things to spite you etc etc#but i also feel that cats and dogs (i am so much less familiar with literally every other kind of pet) DO have very important feelings and#deserve a similar respect that humans do. not in an animal rights way#just in a ''living thing youre responsible for'' way#like my animals deserve to not be afraid of me. to the best of my ability. i wish i could explain scary things to them so bad#bc it can be very hard to make things like wound treatment non-scary. its harder for them to understand that youre not trying to hurt them#i am rambling. cats are people in the sense that they are family member adjacent (or not adjacent) and deserve care and respect not unlike#the care given to a child
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~
#my parents need to fucking leave me alone!!! i know what the fuck im doing!!! can't i have a single second of peace and quiet around here.#im doing so bad in the head rn#and ofc H is ignoring me now. so fun. i guess i asked for it but it still hurts.#like i don't want to be bitter i really don't. i want to let them be who they are. if they choose to stop prioritizing me it's their choice#it just sucks. i feel like everything is in such an unpleasant place#i want to be grateful that it's in a better place than it was before but i just don't feel happy. i feel like garbage most of the time tbh.#and im holding out until i can see E again but it feels so unfair to put this burden on her#god i miss her so much. i miss so many people so very much. there are so many lives i held dear and can't loosen my hold on#and i fear that H will always be one of them. i fear i will always one to H too. if i knew them at all.#or have i simply projected onto them all along? it feels like sometimes that might be all we do to each other. mirror and project.#without ever truly looking at the original. without trying to see the source.#um. lol. anyways. hope ur all having a good night. ty for reading my vague ramblings#they speak!#ignore this
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