wait why did fart-poop-daily make the gif i'm cryinfg

why is elmo staring into my soul is it cause i sang rocko a happy bday song

IBS the first

And here.. we.. go.. she says in the joker’s voice.

Sooo, I’ve decided to use this platform as a diary/blog about my truly miserable life as an IBS sufferer. Now before you get too far in and read more than you may want to. Let me tell you for anyone out there, that doesn’t know what IBS is. IBS stands for irritable bowel syndrome, and let me tell you, I have one VERY irritable bowel, which in turn makes for a VERY irritable lady.

It’s basically what it sounds like. You’ve got a bowel that goes crazy over random shit, no pun intended (but also a little bit intended because it’s for real a laugh or cry illness). Now, let’s be clear right from the get go, THERE IS NO CURE TO IBS! To explain it simply the doctors and scientists don’t know what the fuck is wrong with you. Which adds to the fun because they gonna put cameras up your butt, down your throat, get poop samples for what feels like the hundredth time and after each test you’re gonna get a little glimmer of hope going “oh my god, this might be it, maybe we’ve figured it out and they can fix me” only to go back into that doctor’s office, sit down and them tell you “all the tests came back normal”. Like okay, thanks doc, but I know this ain’t normal. It’s not normal to shit my pants after having dairy or to bloat to what looks like six months pregnant when I eat broccoli. DO NOT even get me started on stone fruits or garlic and onion.

Now, let me be real honest, my doctor is AMAZING. Every single time I walk into that office, she is there with me 100%, she’s listening to everything I say, and she is actually listening. But has she run many tests, found no answers and is she getting as frustrated as me, yes. She’s fucking right there with me. Only someone with a chronic illness is gonna sit here and be like “my doctor, she’s my ride or die”, but that’s me baby. I fucking love her. On another level, I also feel soo fucking bad for her, imagine being a doctor because you want to make people feel better, and you get this young girl coming in like “wah, I pass gas way too much and it smells, and I feel nauseous if I don’t eat but I can’t eat anything because it gives me pain, and I get diarrhea every day and then I don’t poop for like a week, and I’m tired all the time, oh and I get these intense pains in my side and I can’t get them to go away unless I take strong pain killers”, and it’s now been 8 fucking years of this! and sure we have a diagnosis “irritable bowel syndrome” but that literally is the name they give any digestive issues when they don’t know what’s wrong. So, really it’s little to no help in making my life any better in terms of treatment.

Hold on, “but there’s so many people out there with it so much worse”. Like, don’t get me wrong, I fucking know this and I feel for these people, I honestly do. If this is “just digestive issues”, I can only imagine how those people feel. But this brings us to a whole new problem with this illness, I’m going to have these issues for the rest of my life, this is a CHRONIC ILLNESS. So when people sit there and go “but it’s just digestive issues”, “you don’t look sick”. I wanna kick them, real hard, in a painful place. It’s not like I don’t get it. I don’t look sick, and a lot of the time, I hide my symptoms, I hide the fact I’m in pain and it’s not like I’m going to tell every tom dick and harry that I almost poop my pants on the daily. That’s not exactly an acceptable conversation topic, is it?But if someone tells you they have an illness, you do not downgrade it to make yourself feel better. Stop comparing people, EVERYONE IS DIFFERENT and so are their illnesses.

So really don’t get me wrong, I know there is people out there that simply don’t know that I���m sick or that won’t be able to understand what goes on with IBS and how it effects your life every single day. Do I want them to understand my point of view? absolutely! Do I want to go around constantly explaining it? Strong no. The most basic answer I can come up with for people who don’t have IBS to understand what it feels like is, imagine having a constant stomach bug or constant food poisoning. Obviously, these things vary greatly depending on the individual. So does IBS and the symptoms that come with it, but, this is really the easiest way for me to give people an insight into how I feel in a way that most people can actually comprehend.

We haven’t even got to the ANXIETY that comes with this illness. This is the fun bit guys. Some people won’t be able to fathom this, and some people will. Anxiety is completely different to anyone that has it, each person will have different triggers, they will have different feelings, they will have different methods of coping. Anyone who is living with anxiety knows, it’s not fun and it’s especially not fun to have to explain why your anxious about something. “I just don’t want to okay, leave me alone”. I’m that person that lashes out when I’m in an uncomfortable situation (I also getting gassy when I’m uncomfortable, and then I get uncomfortable because I’m gassy, and then I get more gassy because I’m more uncomfortable, and around and around we gooo). So yes, I push nice people away because I feel like fucking shit and someone asking me questions, even when I know they genuinely care and want to help, just annoys me when I’m in that head space. I just sit there like “can you shut the fuck up and let me fucking deal with this and like, I’ll get back to you in a minute or two. JUST GIVE ME A MINUTE.” Like, I just wanna go outside, fart like a hundred times, gather my thoughts, let the logical me take over my body again and then we can continue on.

The really fun thing about IBS is they know some things for sure, but it’s not anything overly useful. It’s all bullshit like “stress has a direct effect on the bowel and can make IBS symptoms worse”, well thank you science, I’ll try and keep nice and calm and not stress about the fact that there is no toilet near me and I’m probably about to shit my pants in the next two - three seconds.Or the fact I’m in a crowd and been holding in multiple farts for so long I now have a crippling stomach ache. Seriously, think for a minute about anything that you get excited or nervous about. Now, imagine pooping yourself nearly every time you got nervous or excited....... That’s alotta poop.

I could literally carry on about this all night. There is soooo many things I want to get out of my fucking head that I seriously cannot express because I absolutely suck at talking about my feelings *que nervous farts and poops at the thought of intimate conversation*

I said previously that this was a laugh or cry illness. I try my absolute best to choose to laugh. But, honestly, sometimes you need a good cry. Shout out again to my doctor that has to try and understand what I’m trying to tell her while I’m sitting in the appointment blubbering and sniffling like the complete emotional wreck that this illness has made me. 

For now, goodbye. I hope everyone has an amazing day and feels so happy and healthy.

Also, if you have IBS or anxiety or even just wanna get something off your chest, feel free to message me! :)

Much love, x

716

First and Middle Name Robyn. You’re not getting anything more than that. What would you rather be doing right now? I’m in my happy place rn taking surveys and having coffee at 11 PM. I can’t complain. How do you feel right now, honestly? I’m feeling a little blah. Anxious, bleak, empty, sad... just blah. I’m taking surveys for two reasons tonight: because it’s my routine (which is usually my only reason) and also to take my mind off of real life for a bit. Today’s been heavy.

Do you feel good with God? I don’t think of that concept at all. What is your signature perfume? Beyonce’s Heat Rush haha. I’ve used it since high school; nearly everyone recognizes me by that scent.

What is your favorite smell? Freshly baked chocolate chip cookies, hotel rooms when you first check into them, and onions and garlic being sauteed. What perfume/cologne do you want to try? I’m not feeling too curious about other perfumes. I’ve been happy with mine for like half a decade now. What color are your nails? Not colored, not painted, not modified. How big is your nose? For an Asian it’s pretty standard. If you compare it to international standards it’s slightly large but it doesn’t overpower my other facial features. Do you keep a diary/journal? This one. I answer like this every time lmao. What is something you do everyday? These days I’ve been drinking coffee daily. But if we count pre-lockdown habits, I always play with my dog and always have played with him in the last 12 years. What is something you know you will never do? This question is such a curse cause I’ve done everything I used to say I’d never do lol – drink, smoke, cut class, join an org while in college, etc. I’ve run out of things I’m uninterested in doing. Would you rather a road trip or fly by plane? I honestly love both modes of transpo and both are actually my favorites but I think I like planes a little more. I like seeing cities and nature and the sunset/sunrise from up the sky. Plus I don’t get dizzy and they also serve food in planes. When do you prefer to listen to music? I’m not very attached to music so I don’t feel like having it on 24/7, but I do tend to turn to my Spotify if I feel like it’s too quiet and I’m too scared to be alone with myself and my thoughts. Usually this happens if I’m home alone and it’s a slow day and I’m not particularly doing anything. What is music you can't stand? Country, gospel, anything with too much screamo, Taylor Swift. What color ink do you love to write in? Black is alright with me. Have you ever pressed flowers in a book? Nope. What is your favorite type of flower? OMG this question in a survey again? Peonies. What is your favorite animal? Dogs. What is your favorite kind of insect? None I hate them all. What are you drinking/eating right now? I have a cup of coffee with me. I’m feeling kinda hungry but it’s midnight and I doubt we have anything.

OK scratch that lmao - my dad’s been in the kitchen for much longer than he usually is at this time of the night so I went up to him to check in because of this question, and now I’m getting a ham and cheese sandwich yay. What kind of car do you have? I have a Mitsubishi Mirage hatchback. On my coding days I’ll drive my dad’s Suzuki Vitara. What kind of shoes do you wear the most? Sneakers/rubber shoes. What do your sunglasses look like? I don’t really wear shades. Where do you shop for most of your clothes, honestly? Independent clothing stalls at the mall, mostly in Feliz. They usually follow whatever’s trending on IG and fashion in general at a much lower price than what I’d see in like Zara, so it’s a pretty sweet deal. What does your purse look like? I don’t have a purse, just a wallet. It’s pink and is pretty straightforward with its pockets lmao. What do you love to wear (tops)? Puffy sleeves, spaghetti straps, off-shoulder tops, anything sleeveless really, and t-shirts with graphics on them to get a 90s feel. What do you love to wear (bottoms)? Currently obsessed with mom jeans these days. How many times do you think you fart in a day? I don’t fart. At least when I feel one I suppress it on purpose. I just find it gross hahaha I’m only okay with burping.

Do you fart in front of your significant other? No, but the other way around. Do you poop in front of them? She will sometimes. Do you remember what you did yesterday? Yesterday was technically two hours ago so it’s still pretty fresh. I spent most of the day angry and anxious. What do you plan to do tomorrow? Idk. I’ve stopped having a schedule/routine in the last month. What are you looking forward to in the near future? For the quarantine to be over, to go to the mall again, to GRADUATE. What is your favorite kind of tea? Iced tea. What is your favorite candy bar? Butterfinger. Or Reese’s, even if that’s round and only if it counts? What is your favorite kind of cake? Cheeeeeesecake. My birthday’s on Tuesday and thank god there’s a house in our village that sells homemade cakes and one of the things they sell is cheesecake, because then it’ll be easy to order for that day. What kind of milk do you drink? I don’t drink milk and I’ve never been conditioned to consume it in general, so I’m not familiar with the different kinds, even the ones lactose intolerant people can drink. How do you like your coffee? Anything but blaaaack. The creamier/sweeter the better. What is a site you check everyday? Twitter, unless I deactivated. What kind of shoes will you not be seen in? Wedges.

the biggest tag ever

@joz-stankovich tagged me in this because they are so sweet and kind, bless.

THE LAST:

1. DRINK:  water, I’m lame. 2. PHONE CALL:  today at work, I call patients all day long. Last personal call was to the doc for my kid. 3. TEXT MESSAGE: my last text was to a group text with my husband and our two friends - “We still bringing yeungling to Denver though, right??” (We leave for Denver Comic Con on Thursday morning and Yeungling is a good ass beer, ok???) 4. SONG YOU LISTENED TO:  Black Sheep  - Metric 5. TIME YOU CRIED: Oh god, probably two days ago or so? HAVE YOU: -6. DATED SOMEONE TWICE:  yes, then I married him, so it worked out alright. 7. KISSED SOMEONE AND REGRETTED IT: eh, not really?  8. BEEN CHEATED ON: yes 9. LOST SOMEONE SPECIAL: Yeah - my husband’s granny passed away last year, and we were super close. She always supported us even when we were young and dumb, and inspired me to become a nurse so she is missed immensely. 10. BEEN DEPRESSED: yes 11. GOTTEN DRUNK AND THROWN UP: ugh yes, though its been quite some time since that’s happened (thank god)

LIST 3 FAVORITE COLORS:

12-14: purple, black, red

IN THE LAST YEAR HAVE YOU:

15. MADE NEW FRIENDS: Yes! I’ve made so many awesome friends through tumblr and mystic messenger, it’s kind of crazy and I love it. 16. FALLEN OUT OF LOVE: no 17. LAUGHED UNTIL YOU CRIED: Yes, so many times, most recently yesterday. My husband took me on a date to celebrate our dating anniversary (13 years we’ve been together, wtf) and was being stupid in Target and I couldn’t handle it 18. FOUND OUT SOMEONE WAS TALKING ABOUT YOU: yeah, but that stuff doesn’t really bother me. 19. MET SOMEONE WHO CHANGED YOU: Yes - in the last year, I met my daughter, and she’s changed me the most. 20. FOUND OUT WHO YOUR FRIENDS ARE: I mean, I’ve always known. There are a few people I’m not as close with but I wouldn’t say we aren’t still friends. Life happens. 21. KISSED SOMEONE ON YOUR FACEBOOK LIST: Yes, I kiss my husband daily (I can almost hear @feelsgood-anon saying GAAAAAAAAY) 

GENERAL:

22. HOW MANY OF YOUR FACEBOOK FRIENDS DO YOU KNOW IN REAL LIFE:  All of them. I don’t use FB as much as I used to but I keep it pretty private. 23. DO YOU HAVE ANY PETS: a cat Harlow, and two corgis - Eevee & Winry. 24. DO YOU WANT TO CHANGE YOUR NAME:  I’ve never been a huge fan of my name but I’m used to it, I don’t even know what I would change it to. 25. WHAT DID YOU DO FOR YOUR LAST BIRTHDAY: Every year for my birthday, God blesses me with a new Star Wars movie (seriously, they either come out near or on my birthday - December 15th) so it usually evolves going to see those. Last year we saw Rouge One & I also did a Krampus Pub Crawl and it was awesome. 26. WHAT TIME DID YOU WAKE UP: 11:30 pm, 12:40 am, 1:30 am, 4:00 am, and then for good at 6:33 am (thanks a lot, tiny human). 27. WHAT WERE YOU DOING AT MIDNIGHT LAST NIGHT: Sleeping, I’m an old ass woman. 28. NAME SOMETHING YOU CAN’T WAIT FOR: I’m so excited for Denver Comic Con this weekend! A week away from work in a different city, dressing up and nerding out with my friends. It’s gonna be dope. 29. WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU SAW YOUR MOM: December. I live across the country from my family. 30. WHAT IS ONE THING YOU WISH YOU COULD CHANGE IN YOUR LIFE: Oh god, I’m really not sure? I wish I could spend more time doing things that I love and figuring out myself, I guess. 31. WHAT ARE YOU LISTENING RIGHT NOW: I am watching The Bachelorette because I have a trash kink and I enjoy screaming about it weekly with @zombolouge 32. HAVE YOU EVER TALKED TO A PERSON NAMED TOM: My first crush was on a kid named Tommy if that counts. 33. SOMETHING THAT IS GETTING ON YOUR NERVES: Work being stupid. 34. MOST VISITED WEBSITE: Tumblr, AO3, my email, reddit. 35. MOLE/S: I don’t have any, just some freckles. 36. MARK/S: I have a scar from an ice skate (lmao true story) on my wrist, two surgical scars (one on each wrist) from my carpal tunnel surgery, a c-section scar, a scar on my knee from a door jam, and numerous tattoos and piercings. 37. CHILDHOOD DREAM: A singer who ONLY sang slow songs. Obviously. 38. HAIRCOLOR: Right now, it’s bright red again (yaaaassss). Naturally, I’m poop brown. 39. LONG OR SHORT HAIR: In general, or mine? Mine’s medium ish I guess. 40. DO YOU HAVE A CRUSH ON SOMEONE: Saeyoung, Jumin, Zen, Masamune, & @serensama 41. WHAT DO YOU LIKE ABOUT YOURSELF: I like to think I’m funny and I’m fun to be around? Physically probably my eyes. 42. PIERCINGS: my ears & my nose. 43. BLOODTYPE: B+!!! 44. NICKNAME: Jackie is a nickname, haha. My real name is Jacqueline. Other than that? Jack, Kiki, JG, Nurse, Hey you, Have you ever seen that show Nurse Jackie?, Babe, Mama, Babes, other inappropriate names my husband gives me. 45. RELATIONSHIP STATUS: married 46. ZODIAC: Sagittarius & Dragon 47. PRONOUNS: she/her 48. FAVORITE TV SHOW: I recently just finished The Handmaids Tale, Seraph of the End, and American Gods, they were awesome. Game of Thrones, Westworld, Stranger Things, and so many anime that I probably shouldn’t list.

49. TATTOOS: I have 7 - a huge shoulder/back lace piece, a sugar skull & French phrase on my back, a sparrow on my chest, a tree of life on my hip, a shooting star on left foot, and a phrase in Italian on my right foot. I need mooooooreeee 50. RIGHT OR LEFT HAND: right 51. SURGERY: bilateral carpal tunnel surgery bc I’m an old ass birch, c-section, wisdom teeth removal. 52. HAIR DYED IN DIFFERENT COLOR: My hair has been every color, haha. I’ve been dying it since I was 13. Brown, Blonde, Red, Pink, Purple, Blue, Orange/copper, combinations of all of those. 53. SPORT: I like watching football, hockey & baseball 55. VACATION: I’ve been on a bunch throughout my life all over, though my most recent favorite was my trip to Mexico with husband & friends after his most recent deployment. 56. PAIR OF TRAINERS: I legit couldn’t think what trainers were?? why am I so stupid??? Probably my grey chucks.

MORE GENERAL:

57. EATING: dick. I mean... what? 58. DRINKING: nothing, currently. 59. I’M ABOUT TO: fart around on tumblr, catch up on AO3 61. WAITING FOR: Wednesday to be over with, so I can get ready for my long weekend and Denver! 62. WANT: uhhhh a million dollars? not to work tomorrow?  A PONY. 

63. GET MARRIED: I already did, hopefully won’t need to do that again 64. CAREER: I am a Registered Nurse & BSN and I currently work in a Gastroenterology & Hepatology clinic.

WHICH IS BETTER

65. HUGS OR KISSES: I love hugs but there is just something special about kisses. 66. LIPS OR EYES: eyes 67. SHORTER OR TALLER: I’m pretty fucking short, so I need someone taller to reach all of the things. 68. OLDER OR YOUNGER: eh, I don’t really care. 70. NICE ARMS OR NICE STOMACH: oooooh arms 71. SENSITIVE OR LOUD: I like both. 72. HOOK UP OR RELATIONSHIP: I’m a relationship kinda gal. 73. TROUBLEMAKER OR HESITANT: I’m a well known troublemaker, woops.

HAVE YOU EVER:

74. KISSED A STRANGER: No. Well, kind of? I kissed a girl who I didn’t realize I knew but apparently we went to high school together. 75. DRANK HARD LIQUOR: of course, probably more than I should. 76. LOST GLASSES/CONTACT LENSES: Not my glasses but I’ve totally lost contacts and it suuuucks 77. TURNED SOMEONE DOWN: yup 78. SEX IN THE FIRST DATE: No 79. BROKEN SOMEONE’S HEART: Yes, though it was never intentional :/ 80. HAD YOUR HEART BROKEN: yes. 81. BEEN ARRESTED: nooooo 82. CRIED WHEN SOMEONE DIED: of course 83. FALLEN FOR A FRIEND: yes, this is how most of my relationships started.

DO YOU BELIEVE IN:

84. YOURSELF: on occasion 85. MIRACLES: sometimes 86. LOVE AT FIRST SIGHT: No. I like the idea? But not realistically. 87. SANTA CLAUS: No, though my dad had us fooled FOR YEARS. He even got us gold buttons with the initials ‘SC’ on them and said they were from Santa. He was a sneaky bastard. 88. KISS IN THE FIRST DATE: sure? I haven’t been on a date with not my husband since I was 15 soooooo 89. ANGELS: Of course, it’s the only way I can describe some of the cherubs I’ve met through here.

OTHER:

90. CURRENT BEST FRIENDS NAME: I have many different people that I would consider my best friends that I talk to daily, but if I had to pick one, It’d be my husband probably - Aulin. 91. EYE COLOR: green! 92. FAVORITE MOVIE: Too many to name, once again (i’m awful at picking favorites) but Howl’s Moving Castle & The Princess Brides are two classics.

This thing is a BEAST so I won’t tag anyone - if you are interesting in doing this, consider this your tag! 

Am I pessimistic or just real?

Most of the time I feel like I'm accidentally surviving my own life. Not to sound like I'm bitching, but I don't have any idea why I'm alive. I've been trying to keep my life simple, but found out that is a very complicated and arduous task. I, physically, am 30some years old, and deeply know my spirit or soul or life force or whatever you want to label it as is old as fuck. I'm a little odd, I've been told, but when you realize early in life that nobody anywhere knows what in the bluest bowels of Hell they are doing, you start making decisions that TRULY matter on a high, VERY HIGH, level of deep understanding. Not to sound like a preachy zealous god-freak, but preeeeetty fucking sure we live in and on the garden of eden as mentioned in that book written 2000ish years ago. You know the one, oh... it has that bearded guy in the middle east who was the Christian God's son, but was a Jewish king, a rabbi, a carpenter, and who led a gang of misfit trouble making hooligans that wanted to make life better for everyone and ended up dead and martyred for it and is currently the nearly-nude mascot for countless kitchens and bedrooms in thousands of American homes. Jesus, what is that guy's name.... anyways... that book. I'm not great with names, nor hiding sarcastic remarks or, OR blatant disregard for that which really does not matter.... uh, uh, uh, oh well. Back on topic now. Ready? On this "bestowed paradise" of Ours, there are a few shitty things that I just WILL NOT turn a blind eye to. I got this list, you see, that has the WORST possible inventions on it that the world could have done without. Number 1 is people... People are needy, greedy, dumb, panicky, self-centered, talking alien-ape hybrids that ruin and destroy almost every thing they put their grubby little peter-beaters on. We kill for thrill and pleasure alone or in packs and have this problem understanding what compassion and sharing equally are. I did two years of kindergarten, consecutively I will add, I know you are supposed to share and be nice or something like, oh I don't know, your behavior is checked, and you learn to play with others. And now number 2 (insert low-brow sophomoric butt-mud poop-shit-fart he he he coment here. I did, but think up your own.) my list. Borders. "We look different in skin color or you talk funny, uh oh, I no longer have trust other human being, stay away from my personal comfort zone. We'll be fair though and draw a line in the dirt in case you get the same vibe from me. Ok?" "Ok, good idea. Me and my family will kill you otherwise maybe, yeah, no, yeah. Stay away. Good job." Are you shitting literally me out of your dumb asses? Where is the logic and practicality in that. We let famine happen daily because, what? Noone knows what to do? Help your fucking human brothers and sisters, and the little ones if your heart has room, you apathy ridden bag of severed dicks. This is everyone's home right now, teach people who have no knowledge. There is no such thing as unteachable. Read between the lines here guys and dolls. Break time. Let me tell you that I'm not being a rude loud obnoxious Internet troll here, some of my rants and tangent ramblings have a twisted sense of humor and are meant to make you take a minute and chuckle at its finest absurdities. Oh my, but we can also be multitasking manimals and take some inventory of ourselves and the other manimals in our lives and have conversations with each other like we're meant to. Anyone over 27 will remember a time before everyone had a fucking idiot screen in their face at all times. (Heh, jokes to come.) What separated us from beasts is our ability to develope and utilize language. To any younger folks reading this: we used to sit at the same parties you all do now, and used our minds and speaking abilities to have a blast. I'm talking some wicked-awesome fucking ideas and fun times were had before the wedding of man and technology. Put the phone down, and step away from the screens. Please. Number thwee, sorry had, food in my...nevermind. money is next on my little list of things I see as wrong. If a person has a lot of money, they generally have a lot of stuff to make sure they're happy beyond worry. On the other end of the spectrum you have... anybody? Class! goddamn kids pay a-fucking-tention! You have a person with little to no money. I will spell this out for you and you know who: that person can't be happy beyond worry because, huh? Some people have been going ape shit on their own happy. Hmmm. Opposite of happy? Right, thanks Julien, smart guy you are, UNhappy. I hope I just made a Julien's mind blow apart. Lol. Now, monetary wealth is referred to as worth. If you gots like soooooo much worth like it's bananas and stuff, then your like totally worthwhile or worthy. Julien, let someone else try now, get your tongue out of my ass you brown-noser. If you ever want to be heart broken ask the poor kid at an elementary school how he feels after the first recess after Christmas break. I bet the word worthless crosses both your minds and you purse your lips and them real big empathy tears well up in your eyes. That kid is programed to think money and worth are the same thing, and will do what he or she can to make sure they ALWAYS HAVE money when they grow up otherwise everyone else will know they are worthless. Made myself cry a little bit there. Guns guns guns are 4 on this list which may make you laugh or at best pissed. In case you missed I'd be remissed if I didn't say you need to come up with your own rhymes and eloquence. Guns though are made for one thing; ending lives. Plain and simple, keep reading you left wingers and right wingers both. The eagle that is the U.S. of A needs you both to work together in order to soar. I have really upset myself with saying that, but it's out there now, ain't it? I feel everyone should have gun training and own a minimum of three guns open carry on a daily basis (we've already got them and they've seemed to dug their heels in so we might as well adapt with the fucking things.) A semi-auto rifle for hunting food, a shotgun for food/eminent defenses, and a pistol for protection of family and home. Common knowledge for everyone should be stated from an early age: IF YOU DRAW A FIREARM ON A FELLOW HUMAN BEING, BE SURE THAT YOU CAN MAKE THE CONCESSION THAT YOUR LIFE HOLDS MORE VALUE THAN THEIR'S THEIR POSSIBLE DEPENDENTS. DO NOT SHOOT TO MAIM. IF YOU DRAW, SHOOT, AND SHOOT TO KILL. REMEMBER THAT THEY ARE AWARE OF THIS TOO, AND IF YOU KILL THEM. YOU MUST LIVE WITH THE MEMORY OF YOU NEEDLESSLY TAKING A HUMAN LIFE BECAUSE YOU THOUGHT YOUR LIFE IS MORE IMPORTANT THEN THEIR'S. guns huh? 5. Prescription drugs. Pharmaceutical companies are not your friends. Especially in the world of psychological medication and pain management. I take aspirin on occasion, in my younger days I was always told I "needed something to help me." Help me do what? From the age of 11 until I was into my mid twenties I've been on damn near everything besides Haledol and Geodon. Thanks for being good dealers...I mean doctors and pharmacists. If you want to ask my diagnosis I will share, but let me say that I haven't taken nor would I recommend any person to give a child DRUGS. They are not safe because they are prescribed. Ritalin is molecularly identical to cocaine. No bullshit. They are training kids to be druggies later in life and parents and insurance companies pay for it. Act now and for $799.00 a month you won't k ow who you are, have bleeding of the teeth, lazy finger syndrome, backward stools, brain bleeding episodes, coma and death, but wait there's more. If that pill doesn't work simply tell us and we will give you some other stuff that will make sure your little boy grows tits like a woman and may have a compulsive gambling and or masturbatory addiction with possible suicidal ideation. At least he'll do better on his homework. Fast forward to early adulthood... "oh mummsy? Daddykins? Whatever do you mean I'm no longer on your insurance plans? I simply must have all these pills to be completely the best I can be." "Gee you can just acquisition the local the scumbags who clandestinely make and distribute the bad version of the same drug you've been on for your whole life, my golden child." And don't forget the ssri's. Google this shit kids: ssri's long-term effects on the mind and body. And finally number 6. Social networking. I've never had a Facebook, MySpace, twitter, or anything else. This site I found accidentally while bored and this is my first time posting anything anywhere. The negatively charged part of social media is shit like; omg I 8 a waffle cone with chokl8 chip cookie dough ice cream scoops. Kill yourself you fat cow. Oh boo hoo sad face.... So long cruelty of this place, I have been wearing my life inappropriately I've been informed. Good bye 14 years. Wrapping up at this point as I've said enough for now. I'll be that eccentric and hilariously unfiltered buddy of you get my styles here. Just need to vent sometimes. Help me with Tumblr if you're interested in that... I guess. Looking forward to seeing responses. It should be noted that I have the utmost respect for any religion but abhor the use of faith as a means to control and not gain a better relationship with divinity. I'm not a doctor or political ass hat. I'm a song writing free-spirited music loving real deal motherfucker. "And I didn't even graduate FROM fucking highschool." I.Q. is up a bit above above average. No, that is not a typo.

Let me tell you, publishing this in tumblr posts is aggravating.

But, I wanted to do this. I’m gonna continue, even of my m key refuses to work!

When we last left off, Arthas became a toddler, and Kay was pregnant again. Kale had just been promoted. I forget to what, but he was getting up in the ranks.

When she gave birth, Kale was actually there, thankfully. Arthas kinda ruined the moment but screaming about pooping his pants or what not. At this point, I was seriously regretting the multiple births. Kaylynn is the worst sim I’ve ever handled pregnant. Still, I gritted my teeth and continued.

“So, Azure wants us to keep up with the baby making.” “I don’t know, Kale. We don’t have the money.” “You wanted six kids, didn’t you?” “Still do. Lifetime want is to marry off six kids.” “Please tell me you’re thinking of rerolling that.” “So, you agree?”

“Listen, we’re not like those families on tv. I love my kids, I love you.” “Could have fooled me.” “I’m...not good with relationships, Kay. I wish Azure would have warned you. When it comes to marriage, I’m the worst husband ever. It doesn’t mean I don’t love you.” “It’s fine. I understand. Really. We can’t do six kids. But maybe three?”

“Three sounds good.”

Close up of Artanis. He’s a clone of Arthas, at the moment. Just wait though. He is terrifying.

Happy about your life, cutie? “It’s getting better. I’m getting promoted almost everynight. Thanks for being a decent player.” I try my best. Could you at least pretend to love your wife, though? “We have three bolts. She’s beautiful. I do love her.” Even with ACR, you barely show her any affection. “Listen, Azure. I barely showed Alycia any affection, either. Has my want panel told you anything?” Yeah you spun the want to FALL IN LOVE WITH ANOTHER WOMAN ON A DATE WITH YOUR WIFE!

You think I was kidding? I was incensed.

Anyways, I missed Artanis’s birthday. He’s a terror. Nice, Outgoing, Active, Serious, and mean mean mean. One whole nice point. He quickly became my favorite, with how ridiculous he was.

Kale really does love Kay. I’m mostly kidding. He doesn’t spin any wants or heart fart over her, but he’s always looking at her, staring after her. He really does love her. He’s just not good at expressing it. (He’s watching her in the kitchen while typing an email to Buzz Grunt here.)

I made Artanis bald. He’s named after a Protoss, so I figured it’d fit. He decided to strangle the cat shortly after growing up.

Meanwhile, I’m still having both of the parents friend make. Quickest way to make friends for promotions? Hang out. Don’t add anyone else to the hang out.Get them to around 80 daily points and you’ll be safe for a few weeks before the phone calls start rolling in. You may call this cheating, since I’m using the crystal ball but I don’t care. Fuck that phone nonsense.

Kale got a promotion to “Knight of the Round Table” and I’m pretty sure he wants me to die. “No, not you. Me. Kill me.”

“What the fuck is that kid doing?” You’re asking me. I’ve never seen this before. Thats Ripp Grunt. Greet him! “He’s literally eating my trash, Azure. No thanks.”

Meanwhile, despite what I said above, I did let Kay have a break inbetween pregnanies. She made it to Waitress, before I picked a bad chance card and she got fired :)

“So...I got fired today.” “Tumbling blocks of life. I’m lucky I haven’t been. Azure sucks at chance cards.” “Should I get a new job? Or just stay home with the kids?” “Pawn takes bishop. And it’s up to you. You need to be comfortable. Hell, you’ve had a rough time, Kay. If you want to stay home and relax, you can. I make enough.” “Thing is, I could use a break from the kiddos. They really are a handful, especially with Arthas growing up and Artanis getting into everything.” “I’m surprised he hasn’t stuck a fork into a socket yet.”

Oh yeah, Arthas grew up. He’s a real cutie. But you’ll have to see that next time. “Ok, make a wish Arthas!” “I wish fer my kingdem to be safe from da plague.” “Ok. Kale? Whats that mean?”

All Things Bright and Beautiful This is the second book and I enjoyed it as much as the first. It is amazing to learn how much progress there has been made in animal care and Go to Amazon

Love James Herriot! Love James Herriot! Got the whole set. Haven't read all but so far great read-aloud even for younger kids if you skip over the few graphic parts or words - he was a real vet treating animals with real problems and body parts after all. Chapters are short enough to read on their own though some characters of course reappear. Some descriptions or events may seem too unbelievably hilarious to be true, but no matter - a delightful read nevertheless. Go to Amazon

A classic for animal lovers I loved this book as a teenager, so when it was available as a kindle daily deal, I got it. As an adult, I am a little more critical now, but still very much enjoyed this book. Sometimes it reads more as a collection of short stories that a narrative, but still it all works. If you love animals, you will love this book. Go to Amazon

NEED HELP FROM HERRIOT LOVERS LIKE MYSELF A question for Herriot lovers like myself? What book told story of farting dog. He ended up being adopted by man with no sense of smell? Also what book told story of James and Tristan chasing a kitty to spay her, She pooped on them. I read as 12 year old in 70s. Want to read again as adult. Have reread his books,but cant find my two favorite stories. Go to Amazon

A true gem! Years ago I read "All Things Great and Small" and was enchanted with the story. So many years passed and I had forgotten about this author until I saw his name and titles of subsequent books. Go to Amazon

A book well-named Just like the title, this book is bright and beautiful. It sparkles with James Herriot's humor and sensitivity. The Yorkshire Dales come alive, and one can almost smell the sweet air often punctuated by the earthy smells of animals. As everywhere, there is joy and tragedy, smiles and tears, and a lot of chuckles and belly laughs. It is a simpler time and place, but it is real life. Like all of James Herriot's books, it is a wonderful, feel-good read. Go to Amazon

Insightful (and humorous) Reading This book was recommended by several of my friends. I absolutely loved it! James Herriot gives the reader an extraordinarily humorous insight into a veterinary's life experiences and the myriad of personalities he has to deal with on a day-to-day basis. I highly recommend this book to other readers. Go to Amazon

outrageously funny and sad books I have ever read These books by James Herriot are the most heart warming, outrageously funny and sad books I have ever read. One story you are giggling, the next one can be a cozy loving tale and occasionally a beautiful and sad stories. I woke my husband up many times at night giggling at stories that were told in a uniquely James Herriot style. Young or old, and anything in between, will thoroughly enjoy reading these wonderful adventures of this country vet. Go to Amazon

Wonderful escape! Four Stars A classic! Great book!!! Great listening A book I found difficult to put down Five Stars Five Stars Very much like the first book Must have