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hcsarchive · 4 months

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BOXER

nct dream (hint of the boyz)

details ␥ fem!reader x boxer!jaemin (ft. haechan)

genre ␥ smut with a plot, fluff?, lil angst +

━ after getting cheated on, you get invited to an underground boxing match but you stumble into some dangerous territory and that’s where things take a turn.

warnings ➠ explicit language, drugs, alcohol, overstimulation, flirty banter, praise kink, threesomes, corruption kink, fingering, dry humping, knives, rope bunny, blood, cheating, violence, and if there is more please let me know. *some may not be included in all parts*

MINORS DNI

!!these characters are completely fiction and do no represent the idol!!

A/N

Hope you enjoy my first piece of writing! This has been sitting in my drafts for over a year and i finally decided to post it.

part two

PART ONE

You and your boyfriend Sunwoo are on the couch watching a movie until his phone goes off. “babe I have to get going, chanhee will be here soon” he kisses your cheek and he leaves since he was already dressed before you even arrived.

Recently every night before your Friday night shift, you seem to notice he leaves at the same time and uses the same excuses to leave. Of course, you want to hang out with your best friend but you also want to be with him. You hardly get the chance to spend time together and the only time you see one another is after classes and twice a week which is not enough.

You watch him from the corner of your eyes as he gets ready to leave. Where is he going and why isn’t he telling you? Tears start forming around your eyes but holding them until he leaves is the best option. Speaking up about what is hurting you isn’t the easiest to do.

You are tired of Sunwoo throwing you around. He was the perfect boyfriend up until recently he started to be weird and his anger was getting unmanageable. One wrong thing you’ll say and he will start blaming you for everything which made you mad because you tried your best to be good to him.

Sunwoo hated seeing you cry, it angered him….

The door opens and Chanhee spots you crying once again. “Sunwoo again,” he says while rolling his eyes and dropping his bag on the floor. “Come here y/n” he pets your head as you’re crying.

“He left again and I didn’t even get the chance to say anything. Do you know where he goes” you look up at him and he nods no.

“Next Friday is our 6 month anniversary and if he leaves again we are over. I can’t hold on any longer I’m sorry” Both of you stay there in silence while tears fall down your eyes.

“I’m tired of seeing you hurt, do what is best for you and the rest I can take care of” Chanhee wipes your tears and stands up to get you a glass of water.

Two figures come in and Chanhee shoos them away. “Whyyyy we want to spend time with y/n too” Hyunjae screams “y/n tell your bff to stop hogging you” Jacob joins in. You laugh at the tiny blue-haired boy trying to push two buff men out of the living room.

“Chanhee it’s ok I’m fine now,” you say standing up and walking towards them.

“Did Sunwoo leave already? He was supposed to carpool with us” Hyunjae furrows his eyebrows. Chanhee looks at you and with that look, you already know what to do.

“He didn’t mention he was going with you guys” chanhee starts.

“Did he say anything to you?” Jacob points at you.

“Nope he just received a text and told me he has to go” you respond.

“Weird…do any of you want to come instead?” Hyunjae whips out 3 tickets.

Chanhee takes them and smirks because he did overhear his roommate say something about this the other day “I’ll pass- take y/n instead, I can cover your shift”

You grab the tickets and it’s a ticket with an unrecognizable location on it. The back has a bunch of little letters that state some sort of agreement.

“Where is this?” You ask.

“It’s an underground boxing show. They have these huge matches and two of the famous boxers are fighting tonight which would be a huge cash price” Jacob nudges you “wanna come”

“Yeah, I’m down. Can I get ready? I have a couple things here already”

“Sure we still have time” Hyunjae looks at Jacob then you.

“awesome” you grab your bag and hug Chanhee goodbye because he is already heading to his room.

“call me if anything happens ok” you both do thumbs up and then you go to sunwoo room to get ready.

*on the way to the match*

You play with your nails nervously because you are still a bit sad about earlier. The boys drive off the road and drive through a concrete tunnel with graffiti all over with glowing red tape which you assume is a symbol. For about 10 minutes of driving through a dirt road, you see loads of trees.

Jacob hands the keys to the valet parking worker and parks his car somewhere. You follow them through another dirt pathway which is lined up with a few securities.

"How did you even find this place," you ask.

"Our trainer transferred here, so he can start working here full time. Supposedly Sunwoo was offered a spot here which I am not surprised because he is a great fighter" Jacob said.

"Oh" is all you can say. The weight off of your shoulder left after hearing that. Of course, you don't like the idea of him getting hurt while boxing but you also were relieved that you finally know what he has been doing.

For now, you just want to have fun since you hardly have time to do anything different around here. You see a gray building and small windows at the top with loads of lights.

The men at the entrance take tickets and they make everyone sign papers while being metal detected. The building is filled with thousands of people and the building was definitely soundproof because you could not hear the amount of talking outside.

You sit in between both of them and look around at everything. The whole place looks like a concert arena, just this one smells like a mix of all sorts of drugs, alcohol, and sweaty men. Your eyes land on the line of girls dressed in provocative costumes and beautiful hair, topped with glittery makeup. You were amazed at how confident they all looked.

The first pair of fighters start and Jacob gasps "It's Lee Jeno he is the second-best boxer in the history of dungeon boxing."

"Who is the first?" You wonder while looking at how fast he is throwing and dodging punches.

"Na Jaemin, this new generation is beating all of the past generation records. Those two together will whip out everyone in here" blood streams down the other opponent's mouth while Jeno’s hand is raised up.

Lee Jeno wins which makes everyone chant his name while he puffs his chest and throws his fists up for everyone to chant even louder.

More people fight and you have the urge to go to the bathroom. Both of them look very concentrated “I’m going to the bathroom real quick” you say to Jacob.

“I can take you, the best match is at the end,” he says standing up right away but someone behind us yells at us to sit down.

“It’s fine I’ll go on my own I see the bathroom sign” you lie and leave towards a random door before he gets the chance to react.

There were so many people in the pathway that you had to push through as politely as possible but someone bumps into you which makes you bump into this couple towards the back wall. You apologize regardless of them paying attention to you since they were making out.

You felt the back of the jacket being pulled back aggressively once you turned around. “Why the fuck did you bump into us you dirty bitch” you were met with some angry girl’s eyes but then your boyfriend’s?

Her body is still pressed against his. “Pathetic” you grab the girl's arm off and throw it down with all your force.

You pass through two security guards and through the gray doors. It's another door but it’s locked. You were already hysterically crying and trying to twist the door with blurry teary eyes. The security guards just stare.

A couple seconds later the door opens and it’s two other males with clipboards and suits on. “Why were you trying to open the door,” the short one says.

“I was trying to go to the bathroom and this was the nearest door I saw,” You say.

“Where’s your ticket,” the other says.

“I don’t have it with me it’s-“ they cut you off again.

“Ok so not only don’t you have a ticket but you went through the VIP area and passed security to a door you aren’t even supposed to see”

The back doors that you just went into, opened. It was Sunwoo and the girl. “Oh look it’s the little lost girl who harassed us,” she says.

“Do you guys know her?” the short one asked them. Your teary eyes meet Sunwoo’s but he is avoiding your eyes. “Obviously not! why is she even here” she smacks her gum even more.

“Look I wasn’t looking for trouble I just want to know where the restroom is and move on with my day” tears stream down your cheeks on how frustrated you feel.

“Fine I’ll take you to our bathrooms but this is a one-time thing because-'' the short one was about to talk but the girl cut him off.

“Don’t let her in, she is probably undercover investigating us. Treat her like the rest of them” she says.

You were tired of standing there, you were trying to leave without saying anything or else you would start uncomfortably sobbing. “Jisung grab her” before you can even think, you feel a pair of arms lift you up.

“Put me down. Why am i- Can I at least let my friends know where I’m going”

They didn’t respond and all you saw was sunwoo at the end of the hallway walking into another room. You are too stunned to even be hurt about it. As you pass the many gray doors with numbers on them you start to feel sick.

He stops in front of room 07 and it’s the biggest door in the hallway. They both scan their faces then the door opens. After those doors, there are glass sliding doors. Again they scan their face and get a finger scan “Put your belongings in this bin and take off any layers” you take off your bag, shoes, and jacket.

You are left in your dress. The sliding doors open to reveal an elevator. You never expect such a trashy building on the outside to have these things like this on the inside. As you guys are going up, you notice how good-looking they are. “Do not look at us, look at the wall” Renjun says getting out his taser.

“Renjun relax” Jisung says, you laugh then Renjun puts away his taser and says sorry.

“He has trust issues, don't take it personally. We are just dragging you here or else Jia will complain to Haechan and we all hate her” Jisung explains.

“Why do you guys keep her then?” you ask.

“The crowd loves her and we don’t want to look for another person to replace since it’s a whole process. Plus she’s crazy” Jisung says.

“Stop talking to her until we investigate. You’re saying too many names and too much information” Renjun eyes you every three seconds while typing away on his phone. You had no idea who they were, what they did, but you know this is getting serious.

“We will have to keep her here for a month just to make sure she doesn’t say anything” another guy appears with a black silky button-up and dress pants as soon as the elevator doors open.

Your mouth dries up not only because of what he said but how he looks. His eyes are staring at you intensely up and down.

“We haven’t investigated her yet” Jisung says since Renjun also seems to be confused.

“No need. I found her right away and although she is not connected to anyone, she is dating the dude that has been seeing one of our show girls so that is a little suspicious. Explain why you are trying to get in and how you even got here.” Haechan questions you.

“I was trying to get out. There is no way I am staying here! i have a job and i’m a student” you try to turn around to leave but he pulls you back.

"Do not make another move until I say so. I know your weaknesses sweetheart or should i say [your username] " meaning he probably looked through everything you have done online and you catch on to what he means. You don't move but he leans into you "go it" he whispers into your ear and you nod yes.

"Words sweetheart".

"got it" you respond.

"So now you are mocking me" he smirks and towers over you. His tie dangles over your face as you look up at him.

"Renjun, Jisung you guys are good to go now. Make sure Jaemin is prepared. Do not let anyone enter until I say so, including you guys. We will have a meeting about this one later”

"I have a name" he shoves two fingers into your mouth. "You are not aware of what I am capable of doing and who I am so do not even think about talking back to me"

You start to heat up by the way he is speaking to you because he basically knows more than anyone if he got your laptop information. You want him to get even angry at you, so you suck on his finger that is pointing at you and swirl your tongue around. He hovers over you and shoves his fingers deeper into your throat. "Stand up" he lifts his fingers with you attached to them and releases his fingers out of your mouth. You just got cheated on so the most you can do is live up to your fantasies.

Haechan smirks at you then looks where you were seated. You left a small puddle of your wetness. "Now that you have done your little show...it is time for your punishment" he sits down and pulls you to sit on his lap.

He takes off his tie and puts it over your eyes, you hear his belt come off and he buckles it onto your mouth. "Since you don't listen when I tell you not to speak or move" he spanks your ass "once you step into my office you have to obey me pretty girl" his hands grip your hips.

You start to move your hips against his thigh. You cannot stand the heat pulsing through your soaking core. He grips you harder and speeds your movements, moans start pouring through the belt.

"Who knew a person like you would be this desperate that fast. Exactly who I have been looking for but you bark back and I do not like that. You know what bad girls like you get" you nod your head no furiously so he can do something other than guiding you through his clothed thigh.

He demands you to get on all fours on top of the couch. Haechan unzips your dress and unclasps your bra. The belt from your mouth is removed and it is covered in saliva. The belt comes in contact with your ass which releases a couple fluids that are now dripping down your thighs so you cross your legs for some sort of friction. "What part of do not move do you not understand" he grabs both of your hands and belts your wrist. Your face is now smashed into the couch.

"What do you fucking earn from edging me this long. Look at your fucking pants just whip it out for fucks sake, you are-"

"Shut the fuck up" he puts his knee between your legs and starts rubbing it around. "You need to learn how to keep that mouth shut" he shoved his knee further and pressured more. Your plan trying to hold back the screams fails.

He has a rope in his hands and you smirk "fuck" he rolls his eyes and starts to tie your hands then wraps it around your chest and stomach. Haechan tightens it even more in your thighs and brings the ends of ropes to your ankles.

He was about to put the rest around your mouth but you looked at haechan with lust. His face is spotted with moles and his eyes are framed with beautiful lashes. "You are pretty you know that" he looks at you in the eyes with anger but lust. "Do not sweet talk me"

"Are you going to kill me? you can at least make me cu-" he shoves a gag in your mouth and ties it. Your hair was pulled back by his hands and you looked up at him. He kneels down to be eye level with you "why aren't you scared of me?”

-END OF PART ONE-

authors note :)

I hope you enjoyed the first part! this is my first time writing these types of things or in general so hopefully, I improve further on. If you have the time please leave some feedback it would mean a lot.

Thank you for reading <3

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1bringthesun · 1 year

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have any of you read “Dancing Girl?” gosh, it just made me sad. Mori Ougai is a really good author haha, hahaha. hah… h-

…

yeah i’m relating this to bsd! Mori. BITE ME!! ahem. so in this essay i will be talking about Elise and Mori’s relationship. i’ve already established i don’t see her as his “wife” or the object of his sexual desires, and i’ve also mentioned i like the “Elise is his daughter,” way of seeing things, however … well, there’s more than just that.

1) Elise represents his inner child

2) Elise preserves the memory of a dead lover and is his “partner”

3) Elise is a child-figure to him

those numbers will be reused in that order to mean the same thing later, but first, background and “Dancing Girl!”

so i think that, within the definition of his and Elise’s relationship, Mori embodies Toyotarou from “Dancing Girl” more than Kanei from “Vita Sexualis” (i think i learned which type of media went in italics and which sort in quotes some time in third grade, but it’s been entirely too long and therefore i’ve forgotten all of it and you’ll have to excuse my poor grammar if im messing it up). why, you may ask? well, first of all, Elise is literally from that novel. second of all, i’ve just skimmed vita sexualis (- an asexual) while “Dancing Girl” managed to catch my attention a lot more. plus, Mori was one of the characters that Asagiri explicitly stated he wanted to add in, and we all know just how evil Asagiri Kafka can be when he feels like it.

… why is the space so long ? why are these spaces different sizes?? this is really bugging me … but whatever, i’ll try my best to ignore it … (nevermind it looks perfectly normal when i post it i guess it’s just a. draft thing)

ahem, so, in “Dark Era,” Mori basically goes “damn Dazai you’re suicidal as hell! you remind me of myself hahah!” and i feel like that’s pretty concrete evidence Mori Did Not have a happy childhood (i mean, duh, considering he was trigger-happy to friendly fire as an important military man at 20 some years old) and was likely suicidal in the past too, to some extent. in that sense, the chains that tie Dazai down, if they’re Odasaku’s last words, are the Port Mafia for Mori. he cannot die as long as he’s sane and capable of leading the PM, because he’s basically the very embodiment of it.

⚠️SPOILERS FOR “DANCING GIRL!”⚠️

alright, onto “Dancing Girl.” i’ll give you a quick rundown. it’s basically about this college dude (25 or so) (haha that reminds me of the, “am i the asshole?” posts. i (M26) just fell in love with a girl (F18) of whom i’ve known since she was a minor and i was still an adult. i got her pregnant by some time after she became of-age, then i left her to pursue my career. am i the asshole?) (godamn it tai you just spoiled the whole novel) (i’ll put a spoiler warning up somewhere in the beginning) (bear with me) with depression who falls in love with a… looks at the parenthesis and sighs deeply.

he doesn’t see any point in anything because his life was just a glorified projection of his mother and school’s desires, so he starts being a little more hedonistic and learning about the arts instead of becoming a lawyer like they wanted him to. he meets Elise (her name) and basically immediately feels attracted to her in some way he can’t put into words (she’s 17ish when they meet btw) and starts teaching her things and basically acting like a sponsor to her. they don’t start getting romantic and/or sexual until some unsaid period of time passes. now i personally choose to interpret this as her turning 18 before they do all that stuff, but since it never explicitly says, well… yeah. Toyotarou is used to living his life in a cushy-ish manner as a child prodigy and what have you, but he eventually gives that away to live with Elise. that being said, his “giving it away” was less of a choice to be with her and more of a digression from a perfect machine into a person with his own stunted feelings.

she makes him satisfied, and he makes her very deeply happy, but eventually he chooses his career over her and she goes crazy because of how betrayed she feels- she really deeply loved him, after all. he pays her mother enough to keep her afloat and to take care of the baby he left in her stomach, and went back to Japan without another word. Toyotarou! you bastard!! (it’s not like he was without remorse, though)

anyway back to the numbers.

1) Mori’s past is pure speculation, but he was a military doctor ranked quite high as a very young man, one that didn’t hesitate to shoot someone on his own side no less (like i said) so it’s probably a given he didn’t have a stress-free childhood. this is an excerpt from “Dancing Girl,” in which i think explains the possibility that Elise represents the angry child inside of Mori that he never got to let out as a real child.

2) given what i said above, this also feels pretty self-explanatory. we basically only know two things about Mori, that he would do anything for the greater good (which is usually the PM/yokohama), and that he longs for a “partner” who will understand and not leave him. it’s possible Fukuzawa filled that role for a while, but Mori is a little unhinged and did some bad things out of obsession, which severed their ties because of Fukuzawa’s innate nature. Mori has called Elise his partner (tsuma, AKA person who stays by my side) (i know nobody says tsuma and means it that way but considering “Yatsugare san” exists (yes i’m looking straight at you, AKUTAGAWA RYUUNOSUKE), i wouldn’t put it past Asagiri to use tsuma in that manner) before and acts dramatic as all hell when she dies. it’s almost like … someone called Elise really DID die before?

3) this requires the least explanation. we already know Mori likes children in a non-pedo way, shown by things like how he helped Atsushi gather his courage in Anne’s room (which did nothing for him, btw) and his profession in the beast AU. but what sort of mafia don has a cute daughter?? that’s like ASKING for her to be killed. so Elise, the product of Vita Sexualis, is the next best thing he can have!

Elise also is a lot like the Toyotarou, while Mori acts more like Elise when they’re together. it’s just something i noticed watching the two interact in BSD and DG. the whole idea of having no autonomy is kinda Elise’s (BSD) thing, isn’t it?

my phone is now 20% and i have no charger. i have probably 69 viruses and also since i have apps like tiktok, wechat, and discord… you can imagine how much this poor device suffers, but i regret nothing. yahoo! hope you enjoyed my rant~

#bungou stray dogs #bsd #dancing girl #a german dancing girl specifically named Elise #bsd elise #bsd mori #mori ougai #Mori Elise #can i call her Mori Elise?? i mean she’s basically his daughter anyway so #Mori and Elise #toyotarou #god they make me sad #Mori is so traumatized and so babygirl #not all would understand #anyway i’m getting carried away even in the hashtags.. is this who we are???#AH MY PHONE IS AT 5% WHAT THE HELL.#okay i’m posting it now i hope this gets some attention because otherwise i might go crazy /j

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iread-studies · 3 months

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2024 Goals

I just remembered that I haven't done this yet so here I go now.

Academia. I just enrolled in my master's degree. My plan is to pass all my exams this year except for 2/3 (that I'll take next year). I also want to apply to study abroad in Korea next year (that's why I need to pass almost everything now).

Savings. Last year I had the goal of saving 5k for future semesters abroad. I want to do this again. It should be easy since I now have a PAID INTERNSHIP. Wohoo! I just need to not blow all of that money on bubble tea.

Crafting. For more details, see my knitblr @prettycraft5. Basically, I want to knit a bunch of socks and at least 3 sweaters or vests. And no knitting gifts for a whole year!

Reading. I set my GoodReads goal at 1 book this year. All I expect is to perhaps manage to read some books from my TBR. But I'll be busy enough studying + working so I don't want to add more stress to my plate.

Writing. I'm slowly working on the outline of my Novel. The plan is to complete the outline by mid-February and then complete the first draft by the end of the year. If I have time left, it would be great to write the whole thing & publish it. I'm also enjoying writing on my travel blog for fun so I hope I'll write at least 1 post a month.

Traveling. This year I WILL visit that museum I've been saying for years that I want to visit. I have 2 concerts coming up (if I can get the tickets for #2...) and 2 friends that I want to visit. I also plan on moving to Korea in September so there's that (please let me win that scholarship or I'll be super sad while reading this at the beginning of 2025).

Languages. I want to keep going with Hindi Duolingo whatever happens! I want to read at least 2 books in German. And I want to enrol in a Korean course, be it online or in person. (I'd prefer in person but would I have the time? Uhm).

Fitness. I want to keep up with ballet classes for the first half of the year + try to find a dance studio in Korea as well. I want to do a workout (at least 10 min) on the days I wash my hair + I want to do yoga every time my body feels cranky, no "I don't have time excuses.

Beauty. (this is a Legally Blonde blog after all) I want to grow my hair as long as possible this year. I promise not to cut my hair until September & to keep using spray leave-in conditioner and hair oil on the ends. I also want to experiment with rollers and get an appointment with a dermatologist. I also promise not to buy nail polish because I'm never going to use it anyway, but it would be nice to discover a way to deal with cuticles.

REMINDER FOR MY END-OF-2024-SELF: Start a 5-year-journal for 2025. If you still want to. It would be super cool, tho.

#lists and plans

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morimakesfanart · 22 days

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out of all the chapters you wrote so far do you have a favourite?

You can pretty much tell which are my favorites based on how much art is in them, but my absolute favorite has got to be is either [33] or [34] because I've been wanting to write those scene since not long after I started posting the fic :3 The flirting, the doming Sinbad, the 'oh' moment finally happening. I have a bunch of favorites for different reasons. They are more groups of chapters since I tend to write 2-3 chapters at a time and have to figure out how to break them up for posting.

My favorite chapters in chronological order:

Chapter [4] & [5] are special because it was writing that version that made me want to start posting. I already posted the Dead End version of ch4, and I'll be doing the same with 5 soon. I'm trying to figure out how I want to handle the art since it's very talk heavy.

Chapter [9] has to be listed because it's the start of the first arc I couldn't shut up about to my family. Writing about my health issues was a big deal for me. It greatly helped me in respecting my own limits and letting myself rest. I over a bit more metical trauma every time I write about Mori being sick.

Chapter [11] is the first chapter I felt the need to turn almost completely into a comic. It was very much about the joy of unmasking around my favorite characters and nerding out X3

Chapter [15] is also a fave for having some of my favorite jokes and references in it, and it's also nerding out. It was really fun all the way through.

Chapter [24] is super special to me because it is the first chapter where the characters changed my plans so far I basically went on hiatus. Sinbad and Ja'far doing that much math was not in the plans and honestly, it's part of why I take so extra long between chapters now. I'm having to pull plot points that weren't supposed to happen until after Sinbad comes back from the Kou Empire.

Chapter [25] is another that I was just so happy with because of the jokes and references. I also used it as an excuse to study Jojo's more in recreating that Rohan scene using Mori UwU

The whole Gender, Jewelry, & Flirting arc [28] [29] [30] is extra special to for it being my coming out chapters. I thought I was going to have to introduce the concept of transness to the world before I found the side comic that showed the okama (Japanese gay and trans stereotype) was more than just antagonists in the canon. So much of chapters 28 & 29 were things I didn't think I'd be able to explore for several more years. I did get a ton of hate comments on AO3 for saying the trans women are women and therefore Sinbad would be attracted to them. It's why ch 29 has the added reminder that this is my fic. Don't like don't read. Ch30 is one I reread often because I love how smooth I got the flirting, and it's when I finally got to give Mori Sinbad's choker :D

Since I already explained 33&34, I want to give [36] for being the chapter with the fewest about of drafts and edits. I got it in 1 and then just tweaked the wording. The way everything fell into place was beautiful and convenient. Chapters [35] & [37] were the hardest to write, so 36 being so easy between them was really nice -u- 37 was the hardest so far and took over 30 drafts -the average is 8-12.

Bonus: My Least Favorite part of the whole fic is the transition between [16] [17]. I was way too stubborn about keeping to the character count per ch limit I gave myself, and too stubborn about getting rid of certain moments to accommodate that. I tried to use Ja'far as a plot device to transition the chapters but it was a total flop. If I ever went back and rewrote sections that would be the first, followed by removing all references to my synesthesia. I've been considering doing that for a while, but I'm not sure what to do with the older versions. I don't just want to delete them. Posterity is important to me. I'll probably move the old versions of scenes being changed to the end of the chapter for those that want to (re)read them.

#mori answered #magi prophet fanfic #I'm almost done the next chapter btw :D

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nemirutami · 1 year

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hi i was curious what fic you were refering to in your minato/akechi art :>??

It's a fic i've been writing on and off for a year now but i havent posted it anywhere yet haha.... unless?

In summary: It's about Akechi finding new work at a company called R.E.I (reliable, experienced, innovative) where Minato is the CEO (and widower) with a child Akechi comes to know as Rei (yep Minato named the company after his daughter). The fic focuses on all 3 influencing each other and helping each other cope/grow from their traumas but is also my biggest excuse to write cute scenes where Akechi gets to have an adopted daughter and be the dad he never got to be (he's terrible at it). If you're wondering "why would Minato hire Akechi" then don't worry. He has a very good reason. Minato hired Akechi because Akechi gave him shitty customer service and Minato took one look at him and said "I can adjust his attitude." now Akechi works for Minato bc he's an idiot. Most the fic is also me writing them comedically stupid and sad and very stupid. Oh, and I guess they kiss maybe. But really it's about broken people building a family w/o knowing. I made the fic as a joke and that's why it can't be named anything other than "Is it wrong to hit on my boss?" I've made a ton of art for it (some which I guess i've already posted alluding to the fic). I did make a cover sketch for it tho! There's a bunch of foreshadowing in the items on display (but it's too sketchy to make out I'm sure).

The 100k part of this fic is already up on patreon but I'm writing/editing the other 100K. So like, uh... 200+ pages of text and 29 chapters so far. In theory, the fic is already finished/has an ending, but I just need to fill in the gaps and tie plot points together.

If you're interested, I'll add the prelude/first chapter below the cut lmfao. It pretty much sets up the premise as tightly as possible in under 2K words. It has not been edited at all so take this abhorrently constructed first draft with no shame. You can judge my noodle words all you want but remember if you say a mean thing I will die.

Title: Is it wrong to hit on my boss?

Pair: Minake

Ch 1: That's not how this was supposed to go.

10 AM on the dot, to no one's surprise, he was flawlessly punctual as usual. Today was too important for missteps, and Akechi had carefully calculated each and every word he was going to use to land this job opportunity with one of Japan's biggest corporations in web development and online advertisement. Having worked at a low paying job for the most part (one with a boss that relentlessly attacked him and tried to convince him that he would amount to nothing, no less) didn’t prepare him for the call he received from R.E.I's founder about a new job opportunity.

Cocky with confidence, he quit his job before the interview.

After all, if this founder somehow went out of his way to request him, he must have done so with good reason.

With his hair tied back neatly into a ponytail and his shirt tucked beneath a more-than-a-little expensive looking business suit, he walked into the lobby, checked in, and got told to take the elevator up to the 3rd floor. He cocked his head curiously at the attendant before turning his gaze towards the elevator. Next to the elevator was a fire extinguisher for emergencies, and a metal plate outlining over 100 floors for the building. Naturally, there had to be some mistake. Floor 1 was considered the lobby, floor 2 was a storage for supplies and spare parts, and floor 3 was where their call center started. Their web developers were a fair bit higher up in the company, which made his directions only more confusing. What was a web developer supposed to do at a call center? While the thought of not having to fake a smile over the phone was comforting, the very image of having to do customer support 7 hours a day for the rest of his life put the fear of God in him.

"Pardon my rudeness, but there m-" Must be some mistake. The old lady at the counter was one step ahead of him and delivered her message with a sharp tone that left Akechi speechless.

"The founder's office is on the third floor," she interrupted her sentence with a huff, "-treat yourself to the coffee upstairs, you're gonna need it." and punctuated it with a dismissive wave of her hand. If more people hadn't entered the building and tried to take care of their own business, Akechi would have asked her to elaborate. But since he now for sure knew he was going to meet the founder, he decided not to make a scene.

"I… see. Thank you for the offer, but I must decline. I'm sure everything will go smoothly." But if they put him in a call center to provide customer support around the clock he was prepared to personally wire that black coffee maker into a homemade bomb and take down the whole building with him. While that thought crossed his mind, he smiled politely at the woman and took the elevator ride up.

Never in his life had he been so confused by a layout. He was aware of the building's size, but this was beyond ridiculous. The hallways almost looked like a maze, with paintings scribbled from wall to wall. Upon closer inspection, they looked like kids drawings. Either this was part of some PR stunt, or the founder was really into bright neon colors. If Akechi didn't hear the man on the other line himself and came here looking for a job, he'd expect to find a kindergarten at the other side of the many doors down the hall. His confidence was dwindling more and more with each step.

Once he reached the door he assumed would take him into the workplace where the founder was seated, he grasped at the handle only to find it locked. He blinked, and twisted the doorknob again, hoping it would open the door. When it didn't, he pulled a little harder until he heard a click from the other side, and noticed that the plate beneath the handle had the word "push" written in caps. Without thinking, he put far too much swing into his movement, and ended up smacking the poor sap on the other side that kindly unlocked the door for him, and the man's coffee poured right onto his suit and onto the floor in a loud mess.

"Ah, sorry!" He would have stayed and apologized properly if he wasn't at risk of running late. "If you give me a minute, I'll be right back and help you clean up!" and he was gone. He could have stayed and helped but chose to prioritize the meeting. In the end, that guy was out one cup of coffee and still had a stable income, whereas missing out on this interview might cost Akechi not only his career, but his livelihood. If this went south, he could wind up homeless. Unless he begged for his old job back.

No, the chill of winter would be less humiliating than going back on his hands and knees to the boss that not only demeaned him, but continuously plagiarized his work for his own benefit.

"Hewoo," In the midst of his early mid-twenties crisis, a soft voice spoke to him, but the only people he spotted were already head-deep in work. Another faint cry, this one, a bit more shy.

"Heo…" he turned his head down, and spotted a tiny girl hiding beneath a desk with her fist against her lips and her knees up to her chest. She looked about four years old, short curly hair with a clip-on to keep her bangs out of her eyes. Really, if she hadn't called out to him, he never would have spotted her in those shadows. He stared at her stupidly before turning his head up and asking if anyone brought their daughter to work. The girl shushed him, and got his attention once again.

"M, hidin…"

"Ah," It was too early for a break, but he supposed someone might have taken some time off to call a responsible adult to come pick up their child from work. Still, he couldn't help but smile and crouch next to her, putting one finger over his lips with a whisper. "It's ok, I won't tell anyone." The little girl smiled so wide she was practically squinting.

"Who r u…" He cocked his head slightly. Did she know most of the people on this floor? She spoke as if she knew he was a stranger. He shrugged it off. That can't be right. Must have been childish curiosity.

"I'm Akechi Goro, and you?"

"Ake...ak...e...Aket…" She struggled and fumbled over her words, before she furrowed her brows with confidence and looked upset she couldn't yet pronounce his name.

"Gowo." He couldn't hold back a smile, and the little girl, now forgetting she's supposed to be hiding, shouts at him.

"Don't laff! That's mean!"

"Sorry!" His words said sorry, but his smile told her differently. At least, until his phone began beeping. It was now exactly 10 am.

"Sh-!" Too much in a hurry, he rushed to stand up quickly, and banged the back of his head against the table. He fell to his knees again, pushed down by the tabletop, and grabbed the back of his neck. The little girl, to no fault of her own, laughed at him without a shred of sympathy. Before he could get up on his feet, an arm patted him on the back.

"Hey, you ok?" He couldn't tell with his eyes closed, but the little girl mimicked the man's movements and reached her tiny hand out to pat Akechi's knee as if to comfort him. Before he could respond, he heard the man say "There you are!" followed by a tiny high pitched scream that honest to God was only giving Akechi a headache.

Still better than his old job, despite the abuse and trauma he's had to endure thus far.

When he opened his eyes, he saw the man that he accidentally slammed into squishing the little girl's cheeks, possibly as punishment.

"What did I tell you? You can't win."

"Mmmrmmmrrrr"

"Do you give up?" The child stubbornly stared him in the eye and only repeated her mumbling louder. The man sighed, but with the hint of a smile.

"Alright, go hide again." The joy in that little girl's eyes could part the skies on a cloudy day. She beamed and quickly ran off to hide elsewhere while the man covered his eyes and began counting. As soon as she was gone and he no longer heard the tip tap of feet, he got up and extended his hand towards Akechi.

"You look lost. Do you need any help?" This was humiliating. A kid laughing at him, he could handle, but a future coworker extending him his aid this early in their partnership was shameful. Especially since this was the same guy he left high and dry just moments ago.

"No, no, I'll be alr-" His voice was now much less sympathetic.

"Just take my hand." So much for debate. He didn't appreciate how everyone in this company cut him off mid-sentence, but took the other man's hand to get back up on his feet. As soon as he did, he got looked over rather thoroughly, a little too intensely to his liking.

"Doesn't look like you're bleeding, but if you're feeling dizzy, there's a nurse just two doors down to the left. She can examine you in case you've suffered any severe damage." His concern was flattering but unnecessary and sadly a waste of time.

"Haha, no worries. Actually... I need to get to the founder's office. Do you know where that is?"

"Yes, but I wouldn't worry about t- Rei, don't climb the bookshelf! Junpei, will you-"

"Aye, aye, boss! Come here you trouble bunny! How about you hop hop into bed and take a long looong nap? Man, uncle Junpei could use one too. I'll show you how it's done, like a pro!"

"Iori, sleep on the job and you're fired."

"Come on Philei, your dad is scary when he's talking to people that are not you!"

So much happened in the span of just a couple of seconds.

"...Rei?" He felt his blood run cold. "Her name is… Rei?" The man, somewhat confused that he was still standing there with a dumb look on his face, spoke as if this was basic knowledge Akechi should have known before stepping into the building.

"Of course, that's my daughter," he holds out his hand again, this time, expecting Akechi to shake it. "-and I'm the founder, Minato Arisato. And you are?"

Absolutely screwed.

#I hope you like the first flavor of nyake :3/#tnt answers #fic #minake

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bereft-of-frogs · 4 months

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✨ Fic Writing Review 2023 ✨

@aurorawest tagged me in this an age ago but there was always a chance (however slight) that I'd maaayyybe finish something else before the end of the year (I did not) so I held off. But! It's time for the 2023 review.

Words and Fics

103, 870 words posted

Technically only 1 fandom, but then like...3 subfandoms? (Star Wars: Fallen Order, Prequels/JA-era, and A New Dawn/The Last Padawan)

14 fics

1 ongoing WIP, 2 multi-chapter, 10 oneshots, and 2 chapters added onto my OC repository, 2 series

most recent drop: we are made of our longest days

longest: technically the whole of the dark ocean duology at 50,304 but also just part 2: to stand at the edge of the sea (25,752)

shortest: found a tape that was blank (1,392)

Top Fics by Kudos

closure, and the lack thereof (98)

omens and all kinds of signs (72)

with teeth, we've come this far (66)

(dark ocean duology) part 1: the deep sea is a haunted house (63)

(dark ocean duology) part 2: to stand at the edge of the sea (59)

and some love for the bottom 5 because my favorite is among them: 1. a shadow resides by night (13), 2. follow me into the endless night (16) 3. p.s.: wipe the salt off of my skin (30), 4. I feel like I'm borrowing all my time (33), 5. take in a breath, fill your lungs (34)

My fandom fic events in 2023

just the usual whumptober taking up most of my autumn

Upcoming Events and Projects for 2024

for 2024 I think I'm going to try out like a 'leapfrog' method, where I focus on finishing a first draft, then let that percolate while I work on the next first draft on the list, then backtrack for the second and so on...I think this makes sense. I liked focusing on one project at a time last year and I'm hoping that gets me to make progress on the 4-parter that I really, really want to write and keep putting off.

omens and all kinds of signs (chapter 3)

manipulation/hostage thing (?) (part 1)* - I really need a better working title for this, this is not actually describing what's going on

the haunting presence / serial (part 4)**

the haunting presence / serial (part 3)**

manipulation/hostage thing that turns into an undercover thing (part 2)* - god these working titles are just so pithy aren't they

the haunting presence / serial (part 2)**

the haunting presence / serial (part 1)**

omens and all kinds of signs (chapter 4)

We'll see where that brings us in the year....and if I get derailed haha. If I make it through this I have a sick!fic in development and a myriad other bullet points of vague ideas, inspiration lightning might strike on one of them.

Last word: I spent the first third of 2023 so convinced I would never write again and in a not-great place, to clear 100k posting on ao3 was truly a relief and sharing all of this with you all has been a joy. Thanks for being there and I hope everyone has a happy New Year!

Rules & Tags below the cut! ***(ok let's be real, you all know me, I didn't actually tag anyone because I'm a mess of social anxiety and I always feel like I'm bothering people with tags (even though I am NEVER bothered by tags, but I can't apply that to myself for some reason, in my own mind I'm just uniquely annoying, but we don't have time to unpack all that--) but anyway, I put the rules there and the summaries for the two mystery upcoming fics if you want to see those or reference the rules!

Rules: Feel free to show whatever stats you have. Only want to show Ao3 stats? Rock on. Want to include some quantitative info instead of stats? Please do this. Want to change how yours is presented? Absolutely do that. Would rather eat glass than do this? Please don’t eat glass but don’t feel like you have to do this either.

I am too shy to tag anyone but if you're looking for an excuse to post some stats and goals use this as an open tag!

That should probably be one of my '2024 goals' to get less shy. ah well.

*This is a holdover from the 'psychological' whumptober prompt, I started it in October but knew it deserved more time and energy that I could give it on a deadline. The sort of core of the first part is my take on a 'fandom staple': the Haxion Brood finally gets the jump on the crew and they get entangled in a plot that's perhaps unnecessarily complex due to the interference of a...like 'HR consultant' Sorc Tormo hires, who attempts to manipulate them into carrying out their dirty work. Part 2 (it's a duology again folks!) picks up a bit after the end of part 1. Because to get out of the part 1 situation they end up owing someone a favor, and the calling in of that favor sends the crew on an undercover mission to a super-secret Imperial construction project. Clearly still developing some stuff, I don't have a working title or a good way of summarizing events, but I have a lot of dramatic scenes and everything pretty well outlined.

**Ah, my four part serial killer drama that I have been saying I've been saying I was going to work on for months. Years. This is going to be my year, I swear it! 'Why are you writing it in reverse order' it just makes more sense to work backwards, and part 4 I have the most clear plot outline for. Yeah it's fairly straightforward in general, a mysterious serial killer stalks Jedi through 4 generations. Possibly inspired by My Literal Nightmare, aka 'someone is secretly living in your house' (aka phrogging??? I learned there was a term for it while doing research for nanowrimo, I just thought I was being paranoid and sleep deprived during an insomniac period a few years ago lol) (it's a long story haha). But yeah this mysterious murderer who seems to not really exist at all, and vanishes like a ghost for years at a time.

#writing wrap up 2023 #thanks for tagging me! sorry I did not get over my shyness to tag anyone haha #please truly consider this an open tag if you've been waiting for one

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quickdeaths · 5 months

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GET TO KNOW YOUR ADMIN !!

name — Bryn

pronouns — She/Her.

preferred comms — Discord for sure! I'm on Discord basically all the time and I try to be pretty responsive to things. If you unlock the secret friendship tier, I will also bother you with memes/ship inspo/random conversation/etc. but even if you don't want that, it's got a big window and a search bar so it is infinitely better for plotting than anything else. That said, I do tumblr IMs too, if necessary.

name of muse — quickdeaths.tumblr.com/muses there's a lot of them take your pick

experience in RP — I started out 17-18 years ago on the forums for a D&D webcomic. Eventually I checked out of that scene, bounced around LiveJournal, had a cup of coffee in Gaia Online, and then came to Tumblr around 2012ish. Was pretty off-and-on here until 2015, and I've been part of the furniture here ever since. I've done a few things on Discord and through Google Docs since, but I think for better or worse, I'm just Here Now.

best experiences — Meeting my girlfriend will always be #1! We met here on tumblr and even though she doesn't RP as much anymore, I'm always going to be thankful for the things we wrote, and how RPing together helped us become friends, and then girlfriends. After that, all the things I've done with people that were long-term and plotted, with mutual investment. I've been doing this long enough now that even people who've left or who I fell out with, I still have a lot of fondness for those stories, as well as the long-term stories I'm doing now.

pet peeves / dealbreakers — The number one ultimate pet peeve for me is people dropping threads without personally notifying their partners. Not everyone lurks on dash, and it's easy to miss posts, and when people say things like 'gonna drop some of my drafts,' it's easy to feel like you've been put in a limbo state. Hiatuses are one thing but dropped threads like that just drive me crazy. Super long wait times on replies (I'm talking like, consistently 2-3 months or more) are rough for me too. Lack of communication as well, especially when it comes to choosing a muse(s) to write with.

muse preference ( fluff, angst, smut ) — Angst > fluff > smut for me. I'm an angsty bitch and I love the drama. I like drilling down into character flaws and weaknesses and forcing them to Go Through It and confront things they don't super want to confront, so I'll probably never get tired of writing angsty stuff. I like fluffy stuff too, but a bit more sparingly just because sometimes I think it can get a little circular. Smut... to be honest, I'm not against writing it if a plot calls for it and it makes sense for characters but I've had a handful of rough experiences in the past with people, and it's an area where I'm not very confident as a writer. You will never see a spicy sideblog from me though, I will simply put it on dash like a shameless heathen.

plot or memes — plots plots plots. Honestly, I would never do memes at all if it weren't The Culture here on tumblr. I never know who to send for, or from, when it comes to multimuses, I worry that the ideas aren't interesting and can't sustain long replies, and they don't usually inspire me. Plotting is great because you can figure out a dynamic, whether there's any preexisting knowledge, maybe a general direction you want things to go, etc. Almost everything I've loved doing has come from plots, but I'll still be offering both forever.

long or short replies — have you seen my blog i should be locked up and the key thrown away. I have lost the ability to write a reply under 5 paragraphs and with Certain People Who Know Who They Are I get up to like 8, 10, 12, occasionally some deeply unhinged 33 paragraph drabbles. I don't even have a good excuse really, it's just what feels comfortable for me to write. It lets me do all the inner world stuff that I use to round out my characters in a scene and contextualize them, while still (hopefully) having enough action and dialogue to respond to.

best time to write — It depends. Late afternoon/early evening is probably best, but later evening is fine too. Sometimes I will start a Particularly Ambitious Reply late late late and get too tired to finish it, and then finish it when I get up in the morning, and that seems to work for me too.

are you like your muse — Not really, I don't think? Although I guess that's for other people to judge. I try to give all my muses traits that I can relate to on some level, or at least one thing that feels connective between us, but I honestly think I'm too boring to be a very good RP character. I think Rio is probably the character I'm most similar to, but even then, I think it's more superficial similarities like hobbies than much else.

Tagged by: @more-than-a-princess Tagging: i will fill this in later, if you are seeing this post then i forgot to fill it in and that means it is a runabout, you can steal it, no one will ever know

#dash memes

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sophieinwonderland · 6 months

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While I'm venting about the SN, I should finish this draft post that's been sitting in my draft box for a while now... so here is me venting about a couple more of the bullet points from that document.

(Here are my responses to some of the other bullet points laid out in the document. [1] [2] [3] [4])

This is just objectively true. 😉

In all seriousness, this point is really bizarre.

Reminder that this is the context for the bullet points:

During November of last year, a moderator made a post on tumblr speaking to Ghost of the SophieinWonderland system. It was angry, it was charged, and it was bad. For context, during that month, Sophie had posted the following: [bullet point list of things I did in November] As well as more posts that I feel are unrelated at this time. The reason this is all detailed is to provide context (but not excuse) the behavior of the admin.

This along with the other bullet points is to provide context and help explain why the SN admin was in a mental state where they were intentionally trying to hurt me through fakeclaiming and malicious misgendering.

(You can find screenshots of the post the admin made here.)

So supposedly, part of the reason they were so "emotionally charged" was because I said God, who under the Trinity Doctrine where God is 3 people who are simultaneously 1 God, is plural.

I've talked before about internalized pluralphobia, and this absolutely reeks of it.

If calling the Trinity plural sends you into a rage spiral where you're fakeclaiming and misgendering systems, you need to seriously evaluate why you find the concept of God being plural so deeply offensive to you.

This one severely needs context. (Here's the post that was about for even more context.)

This was about retaliatory crosstagging. Ever since I got to Tumblr, anti-endos have constantly invaded pro-endo tags. This has pretty much exclusively gone one-way, with nearly all pro-endos besides myself avoiding anti-endo tags. And general DID and OSDD tags get to be completely free of posts from endogenic systems most of the time aside from positivity posts.

And one thing you certainly NEVER see is endogenic systems going into a traumagenic tag and posting hate about traumagenic systems.

It felt at the time that there was an anti-endo hate post in the endogenic tags almost daily.

There's an inherent unfairness when a double standard exists that a hate group is allowed their own spaces while endogenic systems aren't allowed safe spaces to exist.

So what I decided around July of 2022 is that if an anti-endo crosstags into our tags, I would write-up a response and post the response in their tags. These response posts would be tagged as anti-endo to make them appear to their community. And I would be sure to @ the offending user and request the anti-endo community take it up with that user if they didn't want me to continue posting in their tags.

This was actually a more respectful stance change for me.

Before this, I would occasionally just make random pro-endo posts crosstagged to anti-endo tags that I thought might convince them to change. Especially those that showed scientific support of endogenic systems back when I was naive enough to think you could convince anti-endos with evidence.

What I did here was turn around and say "if you don't want me in your tags, I'll stay out of yours and leave your community alone as long as you do the same for ours. But if we can't have a safe space, then neither can you."

I stopped making random posts in anti-endo tags like I had done before, and switched to a more defensive tactic where I would solely crosstag as punishment for bad behavior.

The reality is that my "support of crosstagging" late last year was me trying to prevent crosstagging in pro-endo tags, while resolving to only crosstag into anti-endo spaces in retaliation when they crosstagged to ours.

And... I think it worked. I think there have been fewer anti-endos breaking into endogenic tags since I started doing that.

We still get occasional offenders, but I don't see it happening every day or two like it had been before.

Of course, I'll acknowledge that correlation doesn't equal causation so I can't be certain how much of this was because of me. But personally, I believe that if I hadn't taken that step, we would still be seeing the same level of constant crosstagging in pro endo tags that we did before.

One SN mod, the one who I believe wrote up that list and the rest of the document, believes this is wrong. They argued with me over my tactics last August, and believe it should simply be our responsibility to endure and ignore a barrage of fakeclaiming and hate sent to our tags from the other side, while all the other anti-endos plug their ears and rant about the evil endos "invading spaces" the next day, spinning a fiction of victimhood while they're ones entering our spaces to attack and harass us.

I believe, as I did then, that the end this tactic has achieved has justified its means, and helped secure safer spaces for endogenic and pro-endo systems.

(For full transparency, you can see my history of posting in the anti endo tag here. It looks like I only broke this rule once since August, when instead of calling out crosstagging, I called out anti-endos engaging in art theft from endogenic systems and passing it off as "reclaiming".)

#syscourse #pro endo #pro endogenic #survivor's network #survivors network #vent

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dairogo · 1 year

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oooo what are your original works about?? if u don't mind me asking. and!!!? fmahp?? 👁️👁️ is that what i think it is?

Thank you so much for asking! <3 <3 I've answered about my original stuff already (people have been very kind asking about things T_T), so here's an extra fact about each because I'm excited!

Weavers is so much about magic systems and the thought behind them that I might need to inject a character who actually has some plot so it doesn't just feel like theological/thaumaturgical rambling :'D

The Adventures of Dan and Daisy doesn't have much to it at this stage, but I'm going to do my best to make little kids laugh with it! Saving up some good booger jokes and general "saying nonsense words" silliness for it!

SvsV is short for "Superheroes vs Vampires" and honestly today I thought up a terrible moment to give my favourite anxious character and I love her so much but I am very much putting her in the situation of "I'm so used to physical/emotional trauma that I can't recognise this place I think is safe is still emotionally traumatic to me and my real safety would be somewhere else entirely." I love her (will crush her entirely so she can have soft times later).

And YES FMAHP is what you think it is >:D Or at least I can't imagine what else you might be thinking, haha! One day I will finally finish this monster ... I may have started at least brainstorming for the first (worst) version of it in 2005? And that draft is about 40 pages of people just introducing themselves to each other again and again with little else going on, because I hadn't decided who the actual bad guys were or anything like that. After pondering it for, er, several years, I came up with a proper premise, a real bad guy, and excuses for why all my faves were in it. It's been sitting at 38k words for a while now, since I've been distracted by other things, but I think I'll come back and work on it between things and I'll probably get around to posting it when I don't have any other half-completed stories on Ao3.

Here's a snippet from the prologue!

Kingsley’s eyes lingered on the portrait of Severus Snape, surly and lank-haired as he had been in life. Minerva, standing to greet Kingsley, saw what had taken his attention and gave a harrumph.

“Had I considered he would be here, I’m not sure I would have taken the post,” Minerva said, pursing her lips.

The figure in the painting raised its heavy brow, sneering in her direction. “I’m honoured to think my presence should have an effect on your decision-making.”

She fixed him with a steely glare before turning her back on him. “You said you had something urgent to discuss, Kingsley?”

“Yes.” Kingsley’s eyes drifted from the painting, and he allowed himself to be guided over to the armchairs. “What do you know of the Philosopher’s Stone?”

#writing #ask game

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duncneytales · 1 year

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I kind of hope you're tortured too.

So if you haven’t heard “Is it just me?” By Emily Burns you SHOULD because it’s a great song and It could definitely be a duncney anthem lol

About a month ago this song came back to me after a year (I think) of not listening to it and my mind automatically went to Courtney’s pov, so I started working on a fic. The thing is that I got stuck and I couldn’t finish it, plus it ended being a “Courtney and Bridgette besties” fic more than a duncney one.

I have this little hc that the reason Bridgette and Courtney grew apart in season 2 was because Bridge was a good friend of Gwen and at that time Courtney was just incredibly insecure about Gwen and Duncan. Also, I feel like Geoff’s actions as a host in the Aftermath kind of made the Killer Bass 5 split up because he did played a huge part with that clipped he showed Courtney. Basically all of this ended up being why their relationship clearly wasn’t the same in season 3. So yeah, all this hc are just excuses for the lazy writing from the show and for abandoning Bridge-Court and Duncan-DJ-Geoff friendship.

Anyways, so I’ve decided that since this was in my google docs drafts, I might as well just post it here. It hasn’t been revised so there’s probably a few mistakes here and there but anyways!! Here it is. ALSO, go listen to the song. It’s just so good. Here’s the link to Spotify.

enjoy the Drabble! It’s also in ao3 here.

(…)

It was pathetic, Courtney thought. She was pathetic.

It had been months since her very public break up with Duncan, since he cheated on her in internacional TV and since they last finished filming Total Drama: World Tour. It had been six months and she still couldn’t hear his name without feeling that her heart would stop in an instant.

Courtney had thought that once they were over with filming the reality, once she wouldn’t have to see or deal with either of Duncan and Gwen, she would finally healed, but for the first four months it wasn’t like that.

For the first four months she was a zombie, weak, vulnerable and completely shattered by the betrayal of her boyfriend and a person she thought was a friend. She stopped hanging out with anyone that reminded her of Duncan; Courtney barely saw anyone from the cast, except for Bridgette.

Bridgette was once one of the most normal friendships she had, but after filming the second season of the show something broke between them. They didn’t talk much about it, but they still knew that something just wasn’t the same. Maybe it was that the real world was far off different than their little camp in the island, maybe it was the fact that Geoff had turned into a completely different person after hosting the aftermath and had done terrible things, or maybe, just maybe, that Bridgette was such good friends with Gwen while Courtney was stressing about the possibility of something happening between the goth and her boyfriend. They didn’t lose touch completely, they still saw each other at group events, but their group of 5 from the Killer Bass eventually vanished.

They never talked about why they decided to keep a distance, but all those reasons were just in the air. Bridgette didn’t approve of Courtney’s personality during Total Drama Action and Courtney couldn’t stand how close the blonde and goth girl were.

The first time they reconnected was after the third season, during those awful first four months. Bridgette showed up at Courtney’s house one day, unannounced, and they slowly started hanging out again.

After two months of talking again, they went to a party. One of Geoff’s parties, especifically. Courtney didn’t approve at first, but Bridgette managed to convince her and she assured her that those two who “shall not be named” weren’t going to be there.

And the blonde girl managed to keep her promise.

The first two hours of the night ran smoothly and Courtney was actually having fun, much to her surprise. It wasn’t easy seeing her castmates, but she wanted to show she was making progress and, for a moment, she was actually grateful that Bridgette had dragged her there. That was until Duncan and Gwen crossed the door holding hands.

She felt so small, so weak. All she wanted was to crawl herself into bed and cry. Just cry for hours like she had done before.

Courtney took a deep breath before walking towards Bridgette, who was dancing with Geoff. She cleared her voice and touched the surfer's shoulder.

“Bridgette, I’m going home. Geoff, thank you for the party. It was lovely to see you. I hope everything goes great.” She gave them a forced smile while trying to talk over the music and quickly ran out of the house.

Bridgette couldn’t understand; what made her leave all over a sudden? Until her eyes finally found the couple who had entered a minute or two ago. She let out a sight and followed Courtney.

She found her outside the house with teary eyes and a look that managed to break Bridgette too.

“Oh, Court…” She left the words hanging in the air, slowly getting closer to her friend.

“You said they wouldn’t be there, Bridge. You promised!”

“And I was sure they weren’t coming. I don’t know what happened. Look, just let me–”

“I don’t want to talk, Bridgette. I just want to go home.”

“I’ll go with you, then. I’m worried about you.”

But Courtney didn’t answer. She just started walking while her heels clicked against the street. She couldn’t understand him. Why was it so easy for Duncan? She knew their relationship had taken a terrible turn at some point, but she believed he truly loved her, at least in the beginning. Courtney wanted him to suffer as much as she was suffering, it didn’t matter how selfish it sounded.

The brunette heard Bridgette pease hurrying up to her and she felt how she holded her hand, calmly.

“I won’t leave you alone.”

(…)

Courtney’s parents were asleep, so sneaking back into the house was easy. They didn’t talk on their walk there and they kept their silence all the way up to the brunette’s room. Bridgette couldn’t dare to say anything. She felt guilty about making her go to that stupid party and she was out of words.

Courtney laid on her bed, while Bridgette sat on the small couch of the room. The silence of the room was suffocating, especially for the blonde girl. She hated the silence. Neither of them looked at each other.

But, suddenly, Courtney’s voice was heard weakly.

“What do you know about them? About their relationship?“

Both girls exchanged glances.

“What do you mean?”

“You know what I mean, Bridge.”

Courtney shrugged and her sight didn’t leave Bridgette’s eyes.

“I know you don’t tell me stuff because you want to protect me. Let’s face it, at first it was kind of funny getting drunk and scream at the sky because I was mad at him, but now…”

“But now it’s an issue” Bridgette ended the phrase and Courtney just nodded.

“I also know how close you are with Gwen. We can’t ignore that elephant anymore, can we?”

“Are you mad at me? Because sometimes I feel like you are, sometimes I feel that’s the reason we ever fell apart in the first place.”

Courtney’s eyes finally left the green eyes of the surfer, now she focused on the sheets of the bed. She started playing with her fingers, picking apart the little threads from it.

“I was mad at first, but not now. You have the right to be friends with whoever you want, so…”

Bridgette let out a sigh and took a moment of silence before speaking.

“Gwen is sad about what happened, but she kind of also seems happy with Duncan. I don’t know, sometimes they act like friends and they they look like a couple. It’s weird.”

“And him?”

She was terrified of what the answer might be. Courtney didn’t know to think about Duncan.

The latina wondered sometimes if he was as destroyed as she was, if every time someone said her name he felt like was being ran over with a truck and if he felt as lonely as she.

Other times her mind would remind her of the reality: he was with Gwen. They had a relationship, so no, he wasn’t crying in the shower at 3AM like she was every night. How could he be in so much pain and still be with Gwen? It was imposible.

Oh, but she wanted him to suffer so badly because that would mean that at some point he actually loved her. He had to grieve their relationship somehow!

“Court… Is it really worth it? Doing this to yourself?”

Bridgette got up from the sofa and sat again next to Courtney in her bed.

“I know it hurts, but you need to let them go. You need to let yourself heal.”

And those words were enough for Courtney to start crying and desperately hang onto Bridgette. The blonde girl hugged her quickly and took her in.

“I just want to know if he’s as miserable as I am, if there’s a part of him who misses me in the tinniest way.”

The surfer girl was, for the first time in a while, out of words. She didn’t know what to say to her best friend, so she just hold her as tightly as she could hoping that their friendship would help her for now because the answers the brunette was so desperate looking for was not going to help her.

#i love Courtney and Bridgette’s friendship #big angst duncney #drabble #fanfic #td bridgette #td Courtney #duncney #total drama #total drama Bridgette #total drama Courtney

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mithrilbookofmystery · 1 year

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📓 👁👁

OK SO *slams down 30k words of draft* I know the original ask post said to talk about a fic I haven't written but haunts me, but believe me, this is fic is not written. We're like not even a quarter of the way through, most of this doc is notes, this fic have been haunting me since last june or so send help

So anyways. This is "the fic I'll never write" which I do have a tag about as you might have noticed, it's one of the very few things I have a tag for on here that's how much it's haunting me. I'm never going to publish this fic also, tho that's mainly bc A) it's way too fucking long B) the fandom and ship are both obscure as hell and C) its also embarrassing 😣 cringe is dead except when it's me and my fanned fictions. That being said, I'm calling the two guys A and B for simplicity's sake.

A and B hate each other's guts. They were friends once, but had a very big falling out with hurt feelings and bad miscommunications all around and basically they vowed to never talk to each other again. And then one day A wakes up and realizes that 1) his house got moved into while he was asleep(he is very ??? over this given that he was in the middle of moving in the day before; his house was basically empty 8 hours ago and now it is Not) and 2) B is coming over for lunch to pick up his stuff(????? This is even MORE confusing bc A is getting the vibe all of a sudden that they were in a relationship together? Which doesn't make sense bc he's not gay. Wait. Is he gay? What the fuck is going on???)

B comes over and they have a very stilted lunch (where it seems like B feels like something is off, too, but hes not saying anything...), B takes his stuff and leaves, and A spends the rest of the week alone in this house that he has both lived in for years and also Has Not and very confused about this new life he suddenly has.

And then A wakes up in a castle as the trusted advisor to the king in a medieval fantasy world and he is EVEN MORE CONFUSED THAN BEFORE!

Also the King is B. Great.

A spends a lot longer here than in the last universe (like 3/4 of a year), long enough for a magical war to come and pass, some character development shit to happen, and also for the King (who, again, is B) to fall in battle (and it's the one they win the war in too, RIP) and go into a Magical Nightmare Coma (bc they were warring with magical nightmare beasts). This is Bad, for a variety of reasons.

Now A is conflicted abt this bc B is his friend, bit also very much not, but that doesn't mean he wants him to die, but also the A of this universe, the advisor, is starting to get the idea to kill the king to get the throne... His death would be easy to explain away, given the circumstances...

A, instead, goes to find magicians to break the curse. This is the first good thing hes done all fic lmao

B wakes up, the kingdom throws a party, and that night, B tells A about how Something Strange has happened to him - he's not from here. From this world. He's from somewhere else, somewhere Different and in the Future but with no magic and he doesn't know how he got here or got to be possessing the king's body but he's been here for past like 3/4 of the year now and hes sorry for acting strangely if he has but he doesn't really know what to do-

A tells B that he's in the same boat, because he is. B realizes that this A is his A and he hates his A. So. B says some things he'll probably regret later bc being mean is the best defense he's learned against A's general air of uncaring-ness for the effects of his /j "jokes" (they're not jokes, half the time they're just mean, but anyways), and storms off.

The next day, A wakes up in a submarine. He thinks he is going to scream.

They go through....,,., a lot of universes. I think it's over 25 rn but idk. Some are shorter than others, the longest is like a year and a half but we'll get to that. The general arcs are:

1. The beginning bit (Just Broke Up, King/Advisor, Deep Sea Biologists (that ones just an excuse to stick them in a small space for a while to duke it out lmao), Astronauts (kinda same premise as last one but there's a third party now), Musicians, Wild West, Minecraft, Wizards, Desert Island (to quote the notes there, "they duke it out but calmer now"), semi-back in their home universe but something's Off, Superhero(B)/Supervillain(A))

In this part they start off hating each other, but slowly warm up to each other again by the Wizard universe (they're wizards there <3). They recognize that they're each other's only constant in this mess, so in the Desert Island 'verse, they agree to try and find each other right away in each new universe they wake up in (instead of messing around for a while before accidentally stumbling into each other like they'd done before). They debate about the versions of themselves they're possessing, with A very adamant about not changing each universe's lives too much, while B is willing to throw that out the window if keeping the status quo endangers each other. He's starting to like A as a friend again and doesn't want to have to tiptoe around him to compensate for this other life that was thrust upon him, sue him. This comes to a head at the end of the superhero verse when A foils his own plan to save B's life, revealing his own identity to the press in the process - VERY much changing the status quo of this A's life. B is very very confused and conflicted abt this but we don't know how A feels bc its B's POV this chapter.

Also it's worth noting that B still gets nightmares from getting attacked by a nightmare beast monster thing, and he will continue having them for the rest of the fic. They get a heck of a lot worse in the next one <3 and he doesn't tell A abt them until like 3 years into this bullshit

Also also they are so homesick already god bless

2. The Death Universes (the death universes) (this is the year and a half one btw)

They wake up in separate universes where the other is dead bc I love inflicting characters with hardships and problems and trauma <3

They get therapy in these ones too which helps them to like accept blame and shit when it comes to their old argument but also not blame themselves completely and break and also hold each other accountable more and in healthier ways

3. Post-Death bits AKA the rest of the fic p much (its like over half the fic I'm not listing all these out)

Points of interest:

- they reunite and are so so happy about it that they become codependent

- they go to a BOTW AU and B is Link and has amnesia but not just the B from the BOTW universe has it, the original B has it also and he. He fucking going through it man

- bc of the whole amnesia thing B starts thinking of himself where he's not really the B of whichever universe but hes also not really the original B either (tho that's always usually the one more in control each time); the two have kind of merged together, and each new universe creates a new version of B

- he goes with that for a while until it gives him an existential crisis and OG B starts maintaining his independence again

- anyways then they get more codependent <3 fruity edition

- they start to realize they're getting codependent and go :/ uh oh oopsie poopsie

- why did I say that I'm sorry

- anyways they try to homebrew some therapy for themselves but given their situation it's not exactly.. uh.... But tbh it's the best they got right now ngl. it works well enough

- it helps that the universe right after they agree to Spend Some Time Apart™️ they wind up in one where they physically cannot meet each other until they get to the end of it and have to make new friends along the way (Dead Gods AU my beloved....... <3)

- they get to a universe where they're Dads and Gay and Married and go 😳

- they only get fruitier from here

And then it vaguely ends around there. I don't really want to ever write an ending for it, if only bc it feels cheap to end it before they get home but also writing them going home feels wrong, but also, again, I'm never publishing this so I'm not too pressed about it

Saying that, I do want to share some bits from the scenes I have actually written that I'm proud of :3 A is red and B is blue. Sometimes the versions of themselves from a universe will have a different name and I do differentiate between the two; when that happens, the alternate universe versions will have a lighter color than OG A or B. Some of them aren't the same size so you'll have to tap the pics to read all of it

Their fight in the first universe, where they don't really know what's going on but they do know they have just recently broken up and are still very hurt abt that

P much the only scene written for the Superhero AU bit, mainly bc I know I cannot top this

There's a bit of a jump in their conversation between these two, but I hope it still makes sense. Mid-part 3, around the time when B's having his existential crisis and right when they start being fruity. (Pastel/Punk AU also High School AU but it's like the weird teen movie version of high school - they're a little weirded out by it lol)

And ofc Dead Gods AU my beloved <3

Also I made a playlist. They're not really in any particular order story-wise, and some remind me of the story more than others, but yeah :)

When I tell you this story fuckgin HAUNTS me bro......

#the fic ill never write #if anyones wondering why p much all my other WIPs have been seemingly abandoned for so long. its bc of this one fucking fic #and other things but mainly this #ive gotten so many story ideas out of this bro.....#like i want to turn the god au one into its own thing at some point. god i have so many ideas for that #and also maybe the superhero one if only bc that one scene i wrote fucking slaps #also there was originally going to be a MLP au in there and then i scrapped that #and then turned those versions of A and B into my MLP OCs <3 #A is Solenopsis and B is Petri Chord #but also not really but also yes #so glad to finally talk about this #and thank u dear reader for listening to my infodump

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slasherlaurie · 6 days

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Hi everyone, your friend Laurie is back!! I don’t really know how to start this so I’m getting right into it but summary for babes who cbf (honestly same lol). If you’re the anon who kept popping into my inbox with kindness in the months I was gone PLEASE read the edit at the end.

TLDR: I’m back and I’m writing again! Things will be different but I’m figuring it out as I go. Hope you stick around <3

First of all, I’d like to apologize for my months of disappearances with no explanation. I know that was probably very frustrating for people who had requests or were waiting for more posts. Since the start of this year I’ve been horribly overwhelmed with irl stuff which I won’t get into for the sake of keeping heavy subjects out of this update, but I’ve finally been able to get some free time to get back to the things I love. Which moves me onto the next talking point.

I really have missed this blog and writing, but I think I need to go about it a different way. I put too much pressure on myself to fulfill requests without flaw and in a timely manner that I pushed myself into burnout, and so I’ve been thinking about how to do this the past couple of days. First of all, I’m deleting all requests in my inbox while I figure out what I wanna do. My inbox will still be open for a little while, but please don’t expect me to get around to it. I likely won’t do all of them, but I will make a post about it if I do stick with a request. I’m sorry to anyone who had a request or something in my drafts, I understand if this is upsetting.

I think from now on I’m mostly going to post when I’m inspired, maybe every once a month or so on average. The time pressure of someone waiting for me to churn something out really turned me away from writing so at least for a while I’m going to be completely unscheduled with my posting. Again, I’m very sorry to anyone who had a request in.

As well as this, I’d taken a BIG break from dead by daylight. Not only because of the irl stuff I mentioned making me too busy, but also because I kinda lost my love for the game and the characters. Thankfully, my feelings about it have been rekindled, and I’m really excited to return to the community.

Lastly, to my friends I’ve made through this blog. I’m so so sorry for disappearing and cutting people off, I know it doesn’t excuse it but I’ve been so socially overwhelmed the past couple of months that I’ve neglected to keep up with my online friends. I hope you can understand I wouldn’t have ghosted anyone without warning if I could’ve, but the circumstances made a lot of things extremely stressful at the time.

Sorry for this post being a bit serious, I’m not really sure how to cover everything without sounding like a bunch of excuses otherwise. Also I wrote this in my notes app at like 2am and copy pasted it here so I apologize for the messy format 😭 ily all and I’ve missed you!

edit: To the anon who kept leaving supportive messages in my inbox despite my absence, I appreciate you beyond words you are a REAL one <333 Whoever you are ilysm and I’m so sorry I didn’t see them earlier!!

#dbd x reader #dbd killers x reader #dbd x you #laurie updates #dbd #reader insert #dbd survivors x reader

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dashawfrostart · 1 month

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These Two Weeks In "Time & Again" #14: My Feelings For Facebook Are Still Surprisingly Mutual... And I'm Getting There!

A big announcement! The artist contracted a wee bit cold 🤧 This is sad, for it broke my impressive "I never get sick!" streak that lasted for, like, 7 years or so. I guess I'm not gonna get that notorious achievement anymore. And fine, see if I care! I don't like achievements anyway (which is, perhaps, pretty clearly stated in Chapter 3 😁) But don't get me wrong: under any circumstances pathetic excuses such as "having a cold or something alike" most certainly do not set me free from working on "Time & Again" 😤 They might hinder my progress, which is truly unfortunate, since the work is almost done - but that will not stop me, by any means. *for some reason, I really wanna put that weird "shake fish" smiley from DeviantArt in here*

Trying to prettify and overhaul, completely or partially, the social pages for the upcoming release of Chapter 5 is not easy at all... A long time ago - and that means well over a month ago - I submitted a name change request for my art page on Facebook, to better reflect the current obsession priority and certain ethics of the author in this great adventure. I was told that it might take up to 3 days for the changes to take effect, if approved. But it's been already that long, and there's still no change, nor can I submit a new name change request. I mean, I absolutely don't mind "Art by Dasha W. Frost" as a page title, but, honestly, "Official Time & Again Graphic Narrative Page" would simply be better right now, while I'm still working on this "genre abomination experiment of a graphic novel". That's a little bit sad to me. So this is where that post title comes from. Facebook seems to really dislike me - but you know what?! My feeling towards it is truly mutual 🤣

Somehow, I believe, constant dissatisfaction with the social netwroks has always been one of the most prominent topics I wrote on back in the day, when I used to have a secret blog on Wordpress. However, it's getting a tad too old for me (not the blog, but the topic; the blog is long gone), so I don't want to keep up with the "tradition" and I'll just move on without it. ... also, how I accidentally misspelled "networks" in the second last sentence really makes me think of yet another one Ultravox song. So, once I realized I typo'd, I just decided to leave it as is, for the sake of fun association. (I sure somehow became a big fan of this band over the course of, like, 5 months 😅)

But on a more positive note!!! I finished up all the teasers for Chapter 5 that I had in mind (and one of them you've already seen in the previous post 😁), and that's one of the biggest and the most important things I've done for "Time & Again" within the last two weeks. W00t and doot!!! You know what else happened?.. I finished up all the new inner covers (also known as Vorsatz und Nachsatz in book printing ☝) and the main cover for Chapter 5! And I really like the results 😁 (some snippets of the progress go below)

I guess you will see the finished product soon enough 😁 And yet again, I want to praise Krita's Assistant Tool: I used Vanishing Point assistant to draw a better urban perspective for the cover art. I think it turned out pretty good and significantly less crooked. Haha)))

I also finished up the author's letter that will be included into the chapter as a bonus material. I started writing it long ago, gradually adding more and more to it as the time went by. This is not what I usually do, for, at times, writing in segments might quickly become a disaster for me. Even writing future snippets/drafts of the blog posts in here often represents a sort of challenge to me - although I clearly seem to magically succeed somehow. (yay? 🥳 I guess?..) But nevertheless, this is what happened to the author's letter/afterword for Chapter 5. And it turned out good... but big 😅 However, after an attempt to figure out how to make it shorter... I simply decided to keep it as is. Because WHATEVER! You can read the whole thing if you want. It's moderately entertaining after all 😁 Or you can skips some parts in it. Or you can skip the whole thing (because you probably came here for the artworks anyway, right?..). I don't care. I just did what I thought would be good and what makes sense to me, as an author. That's all, deal with it! 😎 The readers are not obligated to like everything 😁 Also, the author's letter/afterword turned out very sincere. ... Heh, as if I can ever be insincere? That's ridiculous.

"Then, what's left now?", you ask me. Good question. Indubitably. The right answer is: not much. Not much at all. Just one more session of proofreading (damn, I hate hate hate discovering typos already after I posted stuff! 😫), and tiny touch-ups here and there, and assembling the last bonus pages from the materials I have on hand. And I also need to write a short dialogue for a certain background. An ugly dialogue, I must admit. But I'll rickroll my sleeves up (for realsies), and I'll do it. Preferably in one sitting. Perhaps even today. 💪 And shortly after that I'll finally initiate the last stage of work: I'll recut it into a webcomic. And I'll finish up drawing all the extra designs that I need for the itch.io release.

I ask myself this question more and more frequently lately: how did Lothar even end up as a protagonist after all?.. That's quite a turn of events. Originally created in late 2014 - mid-2015 as a side character/antagonist for a story about catpeople that I never happened to finish writing (and not only that, but apparently, I never even posted any substantial artwork of the catpeople Freia and Fjolvarr together, so I cannot show almost any proof... sadness), Lothar has sure come a long way. He's been through a lot - thanks to me. I never really asked his permission; I mostly just did whatever pleased me as a writer/artist. And now... we can see him as a main character in an effing blooooody graphic novel - a format that I haven't even been familiar with up until a few years ago! That is quite a change!!! And what the peck even happened to me as a content creator? I think I possibly lost my mind. But again... Lothar has sure been through a lot in the last few earthly years. And my first comedic one-shot is probably gonna be about that.

But I think that's enough talking for today. The important piece of a dialogue won't be finished today if I keep talking. See you next time!

#TimeAndAgainbyDWF #This Week In Time And Again #Krita #WIPs #graphic novel

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shegottosayit · 1 year

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I've been thinking about this post and even have a partial draft saved but I want to start over . This post is about the man who was killed on the subway in New York City after being put in a choke hold by a passenger. Just to put it out there the station where they took him out is a station that one of my home subway lines also stops at. And I don't know if there's more than one but if not I've seen him perform as a Michael Jackson impersonator. What he did.

I don't think I posted it but I've been the victim of someone suffering from unaddressed mental health needs. Last summer/fall In Downtown Brooklyn (between a Whole Foods and an Apple Store) a man punched me with 3/4 of his fist just above my temple. I saw him walking in my direction right at me and I lunged to the side to move past him. He lunged too but thankfully didn't make full contact. I stopped dead in my tracks and so did the people behind me and in front of me. The man started to walk away but then turned around and started ranting about me kicking him out of a bookstore and calling him "the n word". He then turned and walked away down Flatbush Ave. I wish there was a number I could've called to get him care. Calling the police never crossed my mind beyond not being sure what they'd do with that erratic black man.

I've been on the subway when people with untreated mental health problems get on the car. There are also people high on who knows what (I've only seen them be totally harmless. I just worry about them on the subway platform) and there are people who come storming through the car in a disarming way. Theres mostly a very sad stream of people getting on and saying "excuse me ladies and gentlemen" followed by a speech about their situation before moving to the next car at the next stop or otherwise getting off to go somewhere else.

There has been a change of subway announcements over the last couple years. Something like "If you need assistance there are NYPD officers at this station." They're not called, they're people to flag down. It's a different experience. I genuinely do not care about what specifically happened with that man on that day in the lead up to his killing. I have not watched video. I don't need to. There is no reason for that man to have been put in a chokehold.

I do know other people helped hold him down while the murderer (I'm calling him that) slowly killed him. Multiple people. That man had arms and legs. If he was such a danger those people could've held him down until they reached the next station. People defending what happened by saying the man needed to be restrained and the murderer wasn't trying to kill him disgusts me. But I actually agree with part of that. I don't believe the murderer intended to kill him. But with what he did it was possible. There have been things said about other passengers not doing or saying anything but that's projecting with the best of angels. I'd like to think if I saw something like that happen in front of me I'd say "Hey!" but in that moment I'm not sure I would have done it. I'm 5'2" 107. It's shocking! People (other than the accomplices) not doing anything shouldn't be anywhere in this conversation.

Mental health of homeless people is being approached wrong. (Or at leastthe way it's being spoken about) It's not one size fits all. There are people with undiagnosed/cared for mental health problems. But we need to treat people whose behaviors are a result of being homeless in this city. It's heartbreaking to walk past people in the most significant crisis someone can be in. Yesterday when I was waking down 5th Ave with my mom+husband we passed too many people on the street. It's heartbreaking. The solution/solutions to this problem isn't being addressed.

But back to my original point: There is no reason for that black man to be dead. And I specify that he was a black man because its an integral part of what happened.

#posting this three glasses of wine in

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