I like to to think mcs who wouldnt fall into the conventionally attractive category getting shooked when multiple demons find them attractive

venting in tags about gender n shit (long as hell) (u can comment and talk 2 me as always :3)

—Elizabeth Wein, The Winter Prince

i keep thinking i rly didnt go thru that much growing up, but idk, everytime i tell someone abt my life, they say i did and kinda just like sit in shock abt it. am i just internet brained or smth, or am i just dramatic?? i rly dont think ive earned a lot of the symtoms of someone who was traumatized that i have. or maybe i havent been in a safe place for long enough to process things??? i dunno. maybe someday far away in the future ill figure things out

Ok so I think I figured something out, bear with me here. The core of the reason why the new Star Wars films fell so flat was because they forgot that it was a loss of innocence story. It starts out in the beginning as Rey ripping the band aid off of her life and thus beginning her loss of innocence. But because they forgot that in the second movie, the thread gets dropped completely and they're directionless, and they have no idea where they're going story-wise. This is why by the third movie, nothing fucking makes sense anymore and everything feels like a wild stab in the dark. The story is no longer about rey's loss of innocence because they've completely forgotten the theme that was supposed to happen here. By the third movie, the story has swerved so far away from what we were supposed to be talking about that of course at the end when she's standing exactly where she fucking started saying "her" name, the entire thing is incomprehensible because this was supposed to be a loss of innocence journey and instead they just plopped her exactly back where she fucking started having literally spun their wheels and gone nowhere for three fucking films.

Sorry if the formatting is a mess, I used speech to text bc its late and im tired but do you get what I mean here?? About why and how this whole trilogy failed now??

I'm still so baffled that lesbians are apparently mean and exclusionary because we define lesbian as having no attraction to men.

If Lucy goes on T do you think Maggie and Alex would accept all of the changes that would come with it, or only certain aspects of it? Like for example they would be ok with their voice deepening but not with facial hair/musky body odour/bottom growth etc., or vice versa? And would one of them be more accepting of certain things than the other? And which changes would Lucy look most forward to?

I don’t think they have issues with Lucy’s changes on T, and they certainly accept all of them (especially because what does not accepting them even look like? Alex and Maggie won’t try to control Leon’s decisions—those are 100% his to make, especially when it comes to his body. They could break up or change the nature of their relationships if he goes on T, but I don’t headcanon that).

(An aside: sex is a related topic but any boundaries around that are about gender and sexuality, not physical changes on T.)

There are things that they found attractive in Lucy that change with T, like her voice. But for them, they find that the new change is also attractive (and some things that they don't expect to find attractive end up being so on Lucy/Leon bc it's her/him), or that even if a certain change isn’t particularly attractive, there are other changes that are. Leon being more comfortable/happy and them getting to be a part of that is what’s most important to them, and their love doesn’t go away. (Also, some changes revert or somewhat revert for a Leon that goes off of T eventually.) Their attraction is more about who Lucy/Leon is as a person.

I think with Maggie’s experience dating within the queer community and dating aliens, it's easier for her to adapt and feel confident that she'll stay attracted to Lucy. Alex is a little more worried about how she'll feel, but she reads about the experiences of other people in relationships with genderfluid people and talks about it with Lucy and Maggie. And kinda like I alluded to in the previous ask, she realizes that an amazing part of loving people is loving and supporting them while they change and grow into themselves, which makes this seem less scary. And they've all been uncertain about relationship things at some point—entering a polyamorous relationship and not knowing how they'd handle dating and their feelings was kinda scary! But they talked about things and were intentional with their actions and things ended up fine for them. And tbh as far as their specific feelings about specific changes on T, I don't really have many headcanons? It's mostly just the broad thoughts I outlined above, since I'm flexible with headcanons.

Voice is a big change Leon looks forward to. I know fat redistribution is often a big one, but it's actually height and build that bother Leon more, which doesn't change much for him on T. I don't think Leon necessarily stays on T long enough to develop a lot of facial or body hair, but he likes what he gets, and likes the ritual of shaving.

he's ugly!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I dont think its very nice to call people ugly if you arent attracted to them, i actually think its quite cruel seeing as no one can control how their facial structure is formed - if you personally dont find someone pretty/handsome/attractive/hot and are therefore confused as to why others do then maybe take some time to consider that everyone has different tastes and preferences, and then keep your opinion to yourself (or at least keep it to private channels, like private messages with your friends)

there are always people out there who share similar features to the person you deem "ugly" and theres a very good chance youve ruined their entire fucking day by being needlessly mean

having some thoughts today about sexuality and for the first time in a long fucking time they are positive. had an experience last night and i won't go into detail, but afterwards i was thinking "that was for me and i don't want to and would not want to ever share that with anyone else". and now i'm having thoughts today about maybe my sexuality is for me and it's not about other people. it's about what i enjoy and what feels good to me and maybe i would invite someone else into that someday, but my sexuality would exist for me even if i never had a sexual partner in my whole life. i shouldn't worry about or struggle with or try to label myself for that potential partner or my family or my friends or random people online or strangers on the street. it's just about me and what i enjoy. what makes me feel good. and for some reason that's not something i ever really realized before. my sexuality isn't a nutrition label on a can of soup, it isn't some political opinion or experience, it isn't alienating to others, and it certainly isn't a moral stance. it is an internal experience for me to enjoy first and foremost and that has nothing to do with other people.

You know. Sorry for another sporadic unprompted post about that friend who has caused me so much trauma in the past year. But I remember this one time his old high school friend I met once, he's really nice I liked him a lot. Cool guy. But he lives far away so they don't meet up a lot but they text. One time he sent this friend some pictures of us that were taken at a cooking class that he'd been bothering me into going to despite that it was all the way in Boston, there was a lot of walking to get to it, etc. And I was like constantly feeling sick and run down and exhausted from having Covid recently. He texted his friends those pictures of the two of us and his friend asked "Are you and Diana dating lol" like pretty innocently but honestly curious.

And he just replied "Are you fucking high" and he showed me and told me about it. Like. Like it was uncomfortable for HIM to be asked that.

Like his response isn't SUPER INSULTING TO ME.

I guess there's poetry to Lucilius being this desirable while also being the most aroace person to ever exist (in my HC anyway. Just like Lucifer is the most gay and Belial is the most bi. You understand)

Like. It does not benefit.him. all these people drooling over him and he just wants to dissect people in peace. Who are all these people in his dms. Leave him alone

GOD yeah.

Like i definitely fully read Lucilius as AroAce but the fact he's the most desired man of the franchise he's in really just doesn't help for that. He's so AroAce that the one person who loves him the most is the most Hyper-sexual Hyper-romantic person of the whole skies. Poor man.

Like i do feel bad for him!!! Mofo just want to be left alone and do his experiments in peace!! bodies should just be for science!!! why the fuck do you want to insert a dick in a body when you can insert a scalpel!!!

it's hysterical. It's poetic in a sense of just how much of this saga is built on looking for the love of an absent God and how much Lucilius himself stands as this unloving figure in general.

But it's a trip. I do feel bad for Lucilius in this situation like come on. Let a man just rest. and commit his own type of atrocities. god forbid an aroace do anything.

smthn abt... muses who meet allie and find her so unbelievable that she just has to be fucking with them or being fake for whatever purpose, and then the moment they realize no, she's just like this and/or come to trust her.... my good soup.... i think about The Moment all the time and if your muse is like this you should tell me what the moment is btw

on my nuwho s6 rewatch with my sister, and having just read @the--highlanders recent twojamie fic and—

brainrotting jamie in the God Complex hotel

his absolute faith in the doctor that serves like a anchor for him, his possible fear room (everything he is running away from, or has lost, or will lose)

i can’t get it out of my head