#even tho the lyrics a lil..eh?
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Am I here again? Yes i am. Am I here because I have no idea how to write my thoughts out? Lol YES. I JUST DONT KNOW HOW TO WRITE MODERN AU HELP. Aight so at first I was thinking about Childe since he probably would be one but since I'm a heavy simp of Pantalone and your way of writing him... *casually scratches Childe out * (sorry childe, Scribe can only take one at once QwQ *i guess*)
so... yan!Pantalone (i mean if we can get a but of childe as well then why not) with fem reader who's in a popular girlband.
This one will purely be based on your whole ideas about it since I don't even know what I had in mind. Sure, he's your typical crazy fanatic fans except that he can do even more with his power. (Right what do you have in mind? Here's mine) You who's not really the main (idk what but u get the idea) and doesn't really get as much screentime than that one member. Oh what will he do to make you shine even more? (Yeah right idk what, no need to make it sounds logical if you dont know too-) You being the third out of five doesn't sit right with him. You need to be the first and he'll do whatever it takes to make it comes true.
Oh yeah while we're at this, I have the idea that Childe would probably be the one who rewatch your MV over and over everyday to boost the numbers while Pantalone will also do the same but not as eager as him lol. Sure they both make everyone do the same everyday too lol but it's just that Childe seems to be a lil bit... nasty (im sorry) when doing so. Oh i mean both of them do notice how your outfits show so much skin in this one particular MV but even Pantalone won't rewatch that one part of the video of you where something slips away over and over (im sorry 2)
Anyway BACK TO PANTALONE, he'll probably have a shit tons of informations about you ... i mean sure he had already knew you even before you debuted or even before you were a trainee! I mean, how can he forgot someone who's kind enough to give him a coat in the middle of the endless winter? You looked as angelic as how you once looked like when you stopped in front of him only to give him your coat and money for him. (Heh im sorry i cant with this trope). Sure, your family might be rich enough to pull some dirty strings for your debut but how surpirsed would you be if you knew they were not the only one who pulled the strings. (You know, Childe and you had been friends since HS smthg like that and I can see how he might do the same for you as well. Imagine them both seeing each other tho) The rest of his fanatic behaviours (and actions lol) are all up to you because I want to know what you had in mind so much qwq.
Also bonus is that this girlband is kinda... ehe...you know, quiet unique with its music *istg this is not my idea, it's because I just watched some Umetora mmds and can't stop brainrotting about this theme for the whole 2 weeks* which is... there's an element of moaning in it sometimes so make sure to keep an eye on these crazy yan okay. Who knows if they might go feral
There's actually a shit tons of extreme behaviours of them i had in mind but i dont even know if ur fine with it so i'll just *peaces out*
Yeah my request this time is so unorganized prolly because I really want it to be based on your thoughts completely (and yet i still write my mind out-) but still ty for reading my dum dum brainrot (fr wondering why do I always put some bits of love to Pantalone's past) qwq
The dark melody of the twin black stars
Yan! Modern! Pantalone x idol! Modern! Reader x yan! Modern! Gangmember(?) Childe
Lyrics from Melody in the dark from Undead, Star ensemble
Using all Childe's known name for this fic
Tw: sexual themes, stalking, panty sniffer, blackmailing (implied), yandere stuff, kleptomaniac, first time writing in a modern world, and please state more of your mind next time bubbles.
"Back at it again bubbles? Couldn't resist opening Pandora's jar of goodies, I see. Do you feel it? The harvest is here. Pity are those who have a place on the table… Unless you're giving up a piece of yourself for carnal desires. I have seen many fall and bend to the wordless will of our shrouded hearts. Its rewards are robust as it is unholy. Now, let us don our masks of vice and the feast could begin." -Scribe
¶🗡️¥¥¥¥¥¥¥¥¥¥¥🗡️¶
" Thank you for coming to our concert everyone! It really means so much to us!" Rinna smiled, the leading singer.
“On to our hit song!” There you are smiling so brightly, with a fist raised to the sky.
“And remember that we’ll have a greet and meet like always after this.” one winked at the audience, causing an uproar. They have waited for this concert, two certain individuals watched with great anticipation. One with tuffs of ginger, and the other rolling in dough.
Childe, a man who had known you for at least seven years. Wearing a jacket to conceal his tattooed gangster mark on his pelvic area. He knew of you since your debut, who wouldn't recognize that lovely voice that overshadows the rest. With that growl shifting to a higher note, knowing how much work you put into shining brighter than any star known to man. He remembered that kind face anywhere, no amount of makeup could hide that inner beauty from him.
A bloodied handkerchief rests in his pocket as a good luck charm. In fact that’s how he found out about you in highschool, young and unafraid to get in a few fist fights before he got recruited by his foster father; the Rooster. Everyday of school he’d ask you on a date, but every time you'd turn him down he'd just laugh it off and just escort you back home. This is his first in person concert, and he’ll be glad that he sold an arm and leg to see you up close and personal with you in that costume.
Similar to the man that feasts upon the bloody tears of his prey. He had his own private view of you from where he stood. It's not shameful of him to be here since, why would he be, when the girl has done so much for him with nothing in return? Just like that one fateful snowy night. He hadn’t gotten rid of that cozy, fluffy winter coat, and nearly given everything you could to a grateful beggar like him. That sweet scent of pastry and comforting bitter coffee warms his frozen heart.
"You called for us wanting to be imprisoned, haven't you?//
You're simply a wandering kitten//
We'll show you the finest nightmare//
You won't be able to see anything else// Only jail//"
From then on, they promise to help you achieve your dream from the shadows of your life. Not minding that they were forgotten (oh, but they totally do mind!), buying every merch of you down to collabs with other brands/bands or even dare I say. Gacha games, where they try to max out your character and give you the best gear. Hearing your voice lines soothes them, almost like you’re actually conversing with them. These two are the ultimate whale-lords when it comes to you. Both have a shrine dedicated for your success, though one is more lavish than the other.
"Shake to your very core" Sierra winked at the audience followed by Faline
"Ignorant fools!" The tsundere of the group nearly stepped on the camera.
"I will protect the weak" then you picked up the camera, showing a kind smile with fake vampire teeth.
Childe's definitely going to use that screenshot as his wallpaper.
"Let me show you how serious I am. // Wallowing in sleepless nights//" both Rinna and Lara sang.
Your line made the men swoon over your voice, singing your little heart out. Childe’s imagination got a hold of him when he saw how you hold the mic, swaying your body, it instantly reminded him of that one music video where you’re dancing up the stage with such a showy outfit. Giving much room for imagination, the gothic based uniform revealed quite a bit under your skirt and the dip of your curves.
Not good, he's drooling. It was last night he found that solo album of yours, a very experimental one in fact. An interesting take on new music, combined with very steamy lyrics. He could only imagine what else you could do if you do accept him.
The Regrator had long to meet you in person, so this meet and greet is perfect for him. Though part of him desires something more than just a brief meeting. To kiss your hand as thanks, he knows he might do something more than that.
We'll sink our claws into your heart, strong and deep
Your heart (your heart) we'll dye it with the black of night
(We won't let you run away, our wanted angel)
This forbidden fruit that's playing an irregular cord
Your hope (your hope) just try chasing after it
(Be mesmerized in this misty show time!)
Out of the two men, Childe is the more gutsy type. Breaking and entering your house when you aren't home, rummaging through your things like a rat finding its next meal.
"Bingo!" Your underwear, a cute one in fact, with lace. You did notice it missing but you'd assume you just misplaced it and you'll find it once you stopped looking for it. Not knowing that a certain gangster is using it for his own unsavory pleasures. Occasionally he'd nab a few things like keychains, a fake pearl that fell off your costume. Or just getting that clam shell souvenir you got from the beach.
Pantalone doesn't stoop to something so low like Childe, he has standards! But, he does have access to special bloopers and cut content of you through connections. Though that doesn't mean he doesn't enjoy what kind of show you'll provide him in your private quarters.
Remember that stuffed toy from your last window shopping with your friends? You'll find that doll delivered to your changing room along with a usual bouquet of exotic flowers in a heart shape.
There's a poem stuck to it like always, this time it reads:
"Along the sea danced in gilt and cupidity. Only the haunting song of a siren to be heard. On the horizon showed the moon casted still-ly shade upon lovely, Rose." - R. P.
Childe usually gets annoyed when you swoon over the different poems you receive with the flowers. He kept wondering who the hell gives better gifts than him, he's been your best buddy since highschool!
He knows what flowers you love, the food you like, your favorite music. Hell, he even took care of the bastard that cheated on you. He wants you to look at him, look at him the way you stare so lovingly at those swans. Those lips of yours only tempt him to just jump on you, give every love and passion he has burning inside of him for even a moment to forget about that crybaby. Just LOOK AT HIM, he’s a mess. Head rattled with thoughts of you being so intimate with him.
You'll even forget to breathe in this dramatic night//
Dance! Live!//
Shout!//
You'll be falling into our melody in the dark//
They both equally love you- no, adore you! They know your ups and downs in life, they witness you being sad, angry, but they love it when you have a smile on your face. Just give them a chance to please you, it'll all be worth it if you do.
As Childe, he'd kept asking you to help him with various things. Like baking, cooking, or even asking to go shopping for his family's gifts, especially Teucer. His older sister is rather fond of your songs which is how he connects two and two together.
Hiding our unleashed fangs//
This bloody poison is your enticing catharsis//
Kindness continues to caress freedom//
Overwhelmed with a choking urge
In this labyrinth//
Shut up solitude with a kiss//
Even though they know not to jump whenever you have collabs with boy bands, especially with the one with long white hair you're so fond of. It irks them to no end that you're being so intimate with him and his words.
While you tried to rise in the popularity ranks normally, your obsessed supporters think you should be the best among the best. Alongside with merchandise hoarding, these two bribe certain individuals to fudge up the numbers. Oh, the sparkles in your eyes when you saw how many people love you for how hard working you are to be on stage.
We'll make the spinning hands of the clock kneel and let time stand still//
Your love (your love) needs no hesitation//
(Our blindfolded wanted fairy)//
Now conceal this cross that won't grant our wish//
Your hope (your hope) we'll expose it//
(The moment we bite, our show time begins!)//
Recently, Pantalone had hired a professional crew, and interior designer('close friend or not'). Do you know that fabulous apartment building near downtown? It was a separate place for everything that you love or even items you were interested in. A dollhouse if you would call it that.
It's nearly a replica of your room, even the dust bunnies in that one corner. The only difference between yours and this, is the big portrait of you and him that he commissioned. It looked like it was photographed even though it's oil paint.
A reverberation more certain than a fleeting promise//
You surely know what that is//
The flowing voice of these string//
will lead you//
To a night that harbors eternity//
It will never end//
"So he's here" The black haired man looked over at the near front row seat. "Call him over." He told the disguised bodyguard.
"Didn't expect you of all people to be here. " The 11th seat walked up to the Regrator. That facsimile smile never left his face since they first met underground.
"Same could be applied to you, Tartaglia." the silence they shared with the 'hardcore' girlband fanatics' crazed screams of delight. It was then they both knew, they either have to work together or fight against each other for one singular objective.
We'll sink our claws into your heart, strong and deep//
Your heart (your heart) we'll dye it with the black of night//
(We won't let you run away, our wanted angel)//
This forbidden fruit that's playing an irregular cord//
Your hope (your hope) just try chasing after it//
(Be mesmerized in this misty show time!)//
They need to have you for themselves. It's clear as day that these two are a whole separate level on regular hardcore fanatics. Hope you are prepared to face them when the time is right.
No strategy is necessary in this dramatic night//
Dance! Live!//
Shout!//
Into the wavering night, our melody in the dark//
Once the song was done, Rinna took the stage. "Did you all enjoy that?" The fans erupted in cheers as a reply.
"Our lovely ghoulies, we have an announcement to tell you all…" Faline said sadly.
" I, Rose, will be leaving the group." The lovely flower took a step, it made the crowd go silent and news hit the gangster fool. It felt like their world fell apart. He knew of the contract but he thought you'd renew it. Looking at the wealthy man who just adjusted his glasses, seemingly calm and collected.
“You boys know what’s the plan, yes?” An agent bowed subtly and went away to begin the next phase.
¶🗡️¥¥¥¥¥¥¥¥¥¥¥🗡️¶
Part 1 complete
Pt 2: Valentines’ nightmare
"And now with the appetizers served it is on to the next course the main dish. And of course the dessert." - Scribe
Feedback people, I need feedback to improve. Always welcomed.
Tag: @youyue
#pantalone x you#yandere pantalone#pantalone x reader#pantalone x y/n#modern au#childe tartagalia#childe x y/n#childe x you#genshin fanfic#genshin x reader#yandere childe
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eternal sunshine review
you already knowwww. another album review.
random thoughts:
so the thing is i didn’t have high hopes for this, bc i hated sweetener and people were saying this was like a part 2. and shitting on positions, my favorite ari album, to compare this one. so i’m like i’m gonna hate this. but i am actually so excited bc i like it. i finally have new music to be obsessed w rather than relistening to the same songs over and over.
also just bc i like the album, don’t mean i’m like a homewrecker stan. she gotta chill.
she should’ve kept the red themed cover like i get the message of the new one but it just doesn’t hit the same.
anyways bc i’m a psycopath, i listened out of order bc that’s the only way i can properly listen idk y.
also i love that there’s no musical features
anyways to the review:
intro(end of the world):
it’s a cute lil intro. my everything vibes. 6/10. probably won’t relisten to this one much. but i love how she’s being so honest on this album bc i’m a nosey ass bitch. love when ppl air out their business. more more!
bye:
modern disco viiibes. upbeat. very dancey. but also lyrically it’s very idk not melancholy but like kind of sadish i like that. 7/10. the song is really not my personal taste but it’s really good still.
don’t wanna break up again:
naur he turned up the tv when he heard her crying throw that man in the trash!!! i like this one. i like the melody and lyrics and the chorus is my favorite part of the song. i wish the production was a little more melodic. it only does it for me during the chorus tbh. but i like this song. 8/10 “but i just can’t refuse” in the chorus sounds like the “im finding ways to stay concentrated on what i gotta do” in die for you by the weeknd.
saturn returns interlude:
idk man some woman talking what do you want me to say. isn’t it weird that this is the only track with capital letters tho?
eternal sunshine:
i really hate trap beats tbh. but ik it’s like ari’s signature now. but ick. it’s a bop tho for sure. but not really my taste. i only really like it bc the lyrics. i just love ppl telling their business y’all i’m not kidding. 7/10
supernatural:
AHHHHHH BITCHCHHHH YESSSS THIS IS WTF i’m TALKIN ABOUT THIS IS POP BITCH YESSS 100000/10 i love the modern 80s pop vibe and the chorus is so perfect w/ the beat. it just rides man i love this song. i’d love this album JUST for this song.
true story:
so 90s love it. very aaliyah beat. i love a good 90s r&b moment so ofc this is an automatic like even if the chorus isn’t that catchy. idk ig i just feel like pop should have catchy melodies and/or an infectious beat. y’know? also she ate w/ the belting at the end. 8/10
the boy is mine:
YASSSSSSS. again we know i love a 90s vibe. the slowdown right before the chorus is insaane. and the choral style harmonies on the “is” of the boy is mine scratches something in my brain as well as the “gotta be a reason why” robotic voice thing. this is so catchy. this is totally a fantasize vibe. so good. 10/10
yes and?:
i dont have it in me to keep defending this song from u vultures. AND i wish she put the mariah carey version on the album too 8/10 and no i will not be explaining myself further y’all are gonna make me cry.
we can’t be friends (wait for your love):
feel i’m getting an 80s vibe again. i like it. i’m loving the upbeat music, sadish vibe lyrics thing going on in this album. i like the vibe of this song a lot. i do wish something in here was more catchy. but i like it. it’s so soft and wistful almost. that’s probably why i’ll relisten. conjure up some interesting maladaptive daydreams w/ this one. 7/10 edit: i watched the video now i like it more. 8/10 lol
i wish i hated you:
it’s very vulnerable. again i’m nosey so i like that. but the song is eh for me. i don’t think this is a song i’d listen to for the music but more for the vibe. 6/10
imperfect for you:
i looooove it. a little weird melodically but i love it. just scratches something in my brain it’s so good. so catchy. 10/10
ordinary things:
it’s good. not one of my favorites but the more i listen, the more i like it. i love the way she pronounces ordinary in here lol. 7/10
okay that’s all really
p.s. i feel like why try from my everything would fit in here idk. this album feels like a perfect combination of all of her others, it’s so weird how that works out. i love it tho. pleasantly surprised!!
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(362-377 albums etc that I’ve listened to this year, copied from twitter) (now with art. [1] [2] [3] [4] [5] [6] [7] [8] [9] [10] [11] [12] [13] [14] [15] [16] [17] [18] [19] [20] [21] [22] [23] [24] [25] [26])
names and thoughts below cut
362/ Patricia Taxxon - TECHDOG 3 (2023)
jotting down thoughts as we go like
t1 oh… lyrics. oh… beauty.
t4 bringing hella beats
t5!! glass!
t6 groovin :')
t7 oh cmon why are these so good
t11 is an otherworldly finale.
like god damn
i love the grooves in here in particular!
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363/ heRobust - Vertebreaker (2017)
yeah its hard but im still not used to herobust doing wob?
"Heavy Meddle" scratches that beat itch a bit tho, with that back forth beat
"Status Busted" would be my fav song if not for the. yknow. yeah.
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364/ Patricia Taxxon - TECHDOG 4 (2023)
lush and melodic. drifts. feels freeing.
t3 rough start but i think this would be astoundingly good zone out headphone music
t4 headfog max. a fav.
t6 boid :) another fav
t8 bt-esque :O
t10 is a MASSIVE ending holy sht
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365/ Persian Empire - Kaya EP (2017)
crispy beats. rotary organs. vibes :)
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366/ Patricia Taxxon - TECHDOG 5 (2023)
this one's the secret "scary times" release and its damn good at it. wall to wall dour.
some specific thoughts:
t2 sentinel :O
t5 man. this is a weird and cool vibe (beat)
t7 is a bad dream. intense.
t9 a small light in the dark. standout.
---
367/ Patricia Taxxon - TECHDOG 6 (2023)
i regret to announce my opinion that i think these tracks are too long.
i love these soundscapes but not for 10 minutes a piece.
that said, favs: t6, t8, t10.
t11 astounding. cinematic even. this couldve been the end i think.
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368/ Patricia Taxxon - TECHDOG 7 (2023)
it's the "feel nothing" lp, but like. "depression state" nothing.
it does a good job but i have mixed feelings about it.
EXCEPT
track 9 has such an insanely specific feel id describe as "child alone in a room and doesnt know why".
respect.
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369/ Lila Tirando a Violeta & Sin Maldita - Accela (2023)
has an insano in the braino soundscape(o)
"Talking Trees" wouldve rearranged my dna if i heard it in 2012.
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370/ VA - WILDCHIP != WIN (2017)
mix bag etc
well…hm.
wildchip doesnt really grab me as strongly i guess? idk.
that said, "Throwback Days" holy shit that's smoov. love the way the FM wobs are incorporated here
---
371/ Space Dimension Controller - Na Púcaí (2023)
chill timbre tech no(?)
good nighttime music
"Multiples Of None" in particular is sticking with me
---
372/ Lee Gamble - Models (2023)
slowchill for chill day B)
haunting more in timbre than tonality.
sounds like ancient RNN generated vocals, some of this. cool effect
"XIth c. Spray" prolly my fav here!
---
373/ VA - Nanosweep 32 (2023)
a nice lil bout of dance floor nano sweeping.
"Insufficient all" has an interesting flow. not chill but not intense?
"vapor trail" amalgam vibe
---
374/ VA - Metal 5 (2017)
eh.
predisposition bias tho.
enjoying the FM metal appearing in "Mechanical Wolf"
"Running down the Hill" is my fav but absolutely not metal at all.
"Hornet" is my fav that is also metal
---
375/ Alva Noto - HYbr:ID II (2023)
understood as soundtracks to sodium lights.
"Elastic 1" hit good w/ those chord stabs
"Elastic 2" hits harder. some sort of bubbling intensity.
"Field 1" low key banger with that beat
---
November
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376/ VA - SPC Echoes 2 (2017)
mix bag etc.
much love for the rez in "dazzling!"
"bed bed" is funny bc i'd consider it a morning sunshine title. ig thats still bed!
"aurora surrealis" funnest snes-pusher.
"Alternate Timeline" amazing soundscape! overall fav
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What have you been up to? Ramble away about your current interests my friend 👉😎👉
uhhhhhhh well. in the years since consistent activity I have:
Started, Subscribed, and MSQ/Major sidequest Cleared FFXIV and it occupies my brain like a parasitic worm (but I love it) as goes most people who get into it it seems. For those wondering started with WHM and have run it through just about everything so I'm fairly confident I am at least Somewhat Competent in pretty much everything except Savage and Alexander raids (shudders in Eyes of the Creator if you know you know)
Not only that but have main 5 categories of battle class leveled- WHM for healer, PLD for tank, MNK for melee, DNC phys ranged, RDM caster
I should stop talking about FFXIV help
I think I've changed jobs??? still call center-based work boo been there two years and I Hate It Homie (but hey 16/hr without a degree is hard to beat)
my cringe ass ff.net is poised for deletion as I've got ebook back ups of everything I just can't commit yet (and might not have to since I hear. Gasping Dying rumors about ff.net being on last legs)
I've developed a hobby of making FEH wlw ships- Azura/Deirdre, Mathilda/Lilith, Nagi/Natasha, Felicia/Selena (sacred stones) to throw some out -and stubbornly want to write fic but can't seem to figure out how to finish it oops
also generally feel awkward posting on AO3 because I don't really agree with their "you can write fic of actual people" stance but also Where Else Post Fic but also jokes on me I can't finish fic anymore
speaking of I did contribute to a zine or two with the Invincible Zine group over on twitter a handful of Duo Unit scripts and a 5k one shot on the Horrors of Adrift Corrin
("Katie isn't that the "uwu" corrin alt that looks after baby azura what is possibly horrifying about that" you ask and to which I respond "eldritch horror of being a dream-based sentient clone made real babeyyyyyyyyyyyy" and I didn't even use all my concepts and ideas)
Genshin Impact made a character I finally was willing to eat the lore for Miss Shenhe I love you so much what a wlw icon I think I did reblog something of her earlier but yea love
Played through Persona 5 Royal was a good game but I have never seen a game Say So Much and Nothing At All at the same time while also contradicting itself (and somehow in 100+ hours of gameplay even on 2nd easiest difficulty and w/ a friend and a guide hello). Core cast is poggers tho love these high schoolers and I don't think anyone would be surprised to hear I love futaba the most
Have kinda accepted that I've fallen out of love with KH and frankly don't feel a lot of hype for 4. 3 was a solid gameplay entry with some neat use of worlds for the filler plot but the more time goes on the more disappointed I get with how it handled resolving anything from all the build up, shafting it in favor of setting up a game that doesn't even exist yet.
Because of this I REALLLLY loved Endwalker and was very happy to play it on release (oops back on XIV braincell)
I do miss RikuVen tho and think about how Re:Mind validated the hell out of me by confirming Riku hung out with the Wayfinders and to the lil guys out there making content big fucking salute I'm sorry I'm a bitter woman who couldn't handle expectations.
Have a wild ass idea about XIV/Fates crossover to give an excuse for Ysayle/Corrin to exist they are just about perfect together but can't quite figure out how to make a plot to justify it that I'm satisfied with
I made a quotes bot on twitter that may not last much longer but eh
Gotten really into The Oh Hellos not out of any christian love but moreso the lyrics are just (chef kiss)
TAZ Ethersea season one was. Okay? It started really strong but fell off like the shoreline which was. sad. I can hope season 2 learns better from the mistakes there but also can't be too mad improv-based storytelling is hard to 100% nail
is that everything? I think that's like everything. still me just now several years older and just a smidge wiser and man I'm gonna be 26 in like. a week.
oops.
#Katie rambles#tl;dr no longer as fixated on KH that is now FFXIV and have tried a few other things but mostly still just thinking about rarepairs#and playing with concepts and going way too in depth on one off ideas#so the usual but with much less KH
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best part of this song for me is "Check out, popcorn and zero coke bbanjin geon eobsji? Come in, paljjangeul kkigo, sit down...."
#the rest of the song not giving im sorry#i just loveee that part#it had the eumph#even tho the lyrics a lil..eh?#SoundCloud
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All my life I've tried
To make everybody happy while I
Just hurt and hide
Waiting for someone to tell me it's my turn to decide
#queue#seraph sanyi#afw#a familiar world#song lyrics#mmm m m m m m#there she b e#and she be a n g e r y#sometimes it jus gets a lil much; eh?#gal's gotta let it all out sometime#and once again the lyrics fit :D#slkdjfksldf#im a song nerd what do u expect XD#tho this is a side of seraph that rarely; if ever; makes an appearance#i can't even think of more than one situation where she'd be this angry#in any case#y'all best get out the way ._.#slkdjfsakdsgjs#artnerd1123
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𝐕𝐢𝐜𝐭𝐨𝐧 𝐚𝐬 𝐁𝐨𝐲𝐟𝐫𝐢𝐞𝐧𝐝𝐬
Warnings: A tiny (Subin) bit of nsfw
YAY MY 1ST VICTON REQUEST
Also I went kinda overboard with Hanse, cuz I'm a biased bitch 😅
𝐒𝐞𝐮𝐧𝐠𝐰𝐨𝐨
the sweetest bf ever, no kidding
honestly he'd do anything for you, anytime
like you wanna go on a date at midnight? you got it
he'd take care of you
lowkey forcing you eat your meals
and of course checking out if you eat your meals properly
he'd be the gentleman he is almost always whether he's tired or not
very affectionate
pda in front of other members? oh yEs
gives you random kisses 24/7
he'd be really quick to notice if there's something bothering you
he'd ask you about it and try his best to solve your problem
would listen to everything you're saying, nodding here and there
he's very serious when needed so if you were telling him something really serious/bad he'd be in the top 3 of the most understanding members in Victon
but he'd be also annoying like
challenging you in everything
he'd let you win tho, ngl
unless it was in bed😌
he's a strong man and fairly tall so no escaping
but even then he'd be such a gentleman
at first
later he wouldn't be that gentleman sorry not sorry
(later in the relationship/when you already did the deed etc)
he's a dom obviously
and very vocal if you ask me
i feel like he'd lOve to use his tongue anYwhere on you
would be rough most of the time but at the same time be careful not to hurt you
he'd love to pull your hair
and you better pull his too
also kinda kinky imo
he can go from 0 to 100 real quick, in bed as well
so you better watch out 😌
𝐒𝐞𝐮𝐧𝐠𝐬𝐢𝐤
the sweetest bf ever no 2
he'd sing for you anytime you wanted
he'd be so happy if you compliment his singing
cooks for you
wouldn't let you cook so you'd have to plead him
he'd like nicknames you'd give him unless they are dumb 😂
my personal favorite for him is angel, cuz he sings like one and looks like one
he'd same as Seungwoo take care of you
like a true mom
eye smiles 24/7
unlike Seungwoo, he wouldn't show that much pda in front of the members cuz they'd tease him for that too
but would always stay close to you whenever you all hangout
he'd sing you before sleep and would get flustered if you actually didn't fall asleep and only listened to his singing
he'd like to have you close to him
especially when you sleep
WHICH REMINDS ME
😈
he's not as kinky as Seungwoo
but i think his biggest turn on would be your face while he's slamming himself inside of you
i can also lowkey see him liking to be slightly choked, but not too much
which reminds me
switch
i don't see him that vocal honestly
but would like you being vocal
yes he likes to keep you close during these times too sO he'd probably go too deep just to be close don't @ me
when you are done i see him switching to his momma self again and clean ya'll up
unless you want another round 😌
𝐂𝐡𝐚𝐧
aka my side hoe
clown 1/3
he'd talk the shit outta you
annoying
but cute
too much pda in front of others
unless someone teases him about it
then he'd add even more
pda with some inappropriate touches, always a yes for him
he wouldn't even try to hide it tbh
pls touch his dimples
he'd crack jokes whenever you're sad, mad, stressed etc
so honestly there would be NO time for such negative emotions ✨
but he'd also tease you sometimes so you better prepare some comebacks
when you two are already dating he might get a bit possessive i feel like
but not the jealous possessive
more like he'd be lowkey worried you'd leave him or something
mention his brother and he'll gladly introduce you, but would be protective af
talking about his bro, if you want to tease him or want him to make love to you, just say his bro was your bias in madtown and he'll show you why he should be the only one you look at ;)
but he wouldn't really show it unless needed
great kisser
like have you seen those lips?
delicious
cuddles every day, anytime and anywhere
he looks cute and innocent, but we know he ain't
call him byunchan (pervert + Chan in korean)
we all know what I'm talking about 😉
you should probably watch what you're saying cuz he will make double meanings and pervert things from anything
unless you want that
in that case get ready for some fun
kinda kinky tbh
a switch
those hips 🥵
he'd be slightly on the rougher side tbh
if his hips do the same thing as when he's dancing then well rip you
bitting kink
would maybe like to choke you while he overstimulates you 💀
𝐒𝐞𝐣𝐮𝐧
clown 2/3
another annoying one
would talk the shit out of you as well
every date is eating somewhere
him eating your food
eating competitions between you two
PDA!! Like he'd even show you off
compliments won't work on him cuz he knows he's all that
you'd like to scare him sometimes even with the help of his members
he'd cry
he'd let you borrow his hoodies
"it looks better on me tho"
he'd be happy if you jammed to his songs and sang his parts
wouldn't let you touch his dimples or kiss them for fREE
which means he has to have something in it to let you touch 'em
probably a kiss or something
such a tease
and a brat
he's a switch, nothing else
praising kink (recieving)
he'd be very confident in himself during these times too
would like his hair to be pulled
i can also see him liking mirror sex??
i mean seeing him fucking you from behind in the mirror sounds kinda hot if you ask me 🥵
also he is kinky too, but keeps his kinks a bit lowkey.. at first
would high-key love being tamed like a brat he is
oh and also i see him being vOcal, same like Seungwoo
not that rough, but deep thrusts making you lose it pretty soon ;) aka ego boost
𝐇𝐚𝐧𝐬𝐞
my main hOe
clown 3/3
loud af
pda in front of members
always
but for him I feel like it'd also be some kind of flirting and inappropriate touches so someone, probably Sejun would "get a room" y'all
tattoos, pls touch them
or lick them-
honestly, biased or not he'd be one of the best bfs from this group
he seems like he could kill a bitch, but we know he's a soft boy
sometimes
he'd be all giggly around you during your 1st days/weeks of dating
but then..ooof
a real clownery tbh
he'd like to be taken care of, like cooking for him, checking up on him and so on
that would make him so so so happy and happy Hanse is what we want
always.
he'd love you two have matching accessories like earrings or chokers! (so he could choke you later)
everytime he smiles, you smile and then he smiles when you smile and-
okay but then he'd also be a pervert and sometimes you'd have to go 'eH?' when he talks shit to check if you heard correctly or not
you'll always hear correctly
ya'll would paint each other's nails
everytime he makes a new song, he'd ask you what do you think because your opinion is important to him
he'd be a lil happy puppy when you compliment his songs (either solos or group songs since he co-writes the lyrics)
I'd like to think he wouldn't wake you up anNoYinGly as he did to Seungsik, but- uhh he would
you might challenge him in freestyle, he'd let you win and compliment your skills even If you were nOt as good as him (i mean is that possible?)
but also would be highkey shook If you did very good, he'd even forget his lyrics so you'd win
then he'd whine
anyway...a switch (dom lean)
his usual flirty line or when he's in the mood would be "mind tasting my piercing?"
and If you're in the mood just say "Sure If I can Do you as well"
honestly use the "Do Hanse" joke anytime and he's yours, truly..
i feel like he'd say something like "I'll Do you now" while he enters you and fucks you senseless (like he will dO you while hAnse is in you-)
vocal in bed, but mostly like high grunts
chOking both recieving and giving as well as bitting and all of these kinks
also..his tongue..with a rap like that I can't imagine how good he'd be eating you out ;)
rough thrusts all the way
keeps going when he hears your moans
𝐁𝐲𝐮𝐧𝐠𝐜𝐡𝐚𝐧
big baby
back hugs or any kind of hugs
lowkey a brat too tbh
dimples show off™
he'd be actually vEry happy if you touched his dimples lmao
that would make him kInda cocky
would sing for you randomly and also teach you some dances
he'd actually enjoy dancing and/or singing together
a great cuddle buddy tbh
he'd be very clingy
to impress you he'd act manly and just hOt (see gif)
but would sometimes fail, because you'd start laughing 💀
borrowing his hoodies and shirts
but never giving them back-
if you're a lot shorter than him, he'd for example help you reach high places
if you're not that short well
he'd put things even higher so you'd ask for his help
kinda petty imo
anYway not really kinky, but on the more vocal side in bed
don't @ me but a sub
i think his most visible kink would be you doming him 💀 honestly
also some dirty talk (recieving) while you bounce on him
i can also see him mAybe being into some ice play tbh
just think about it😈
he's not rough, not vanilla either...perfect middle path
𝐒𝐮𝐛𝐢𝐧
a baby™
cuddles! always, whether you like it or not
i think he'd be teased by his hyungs
and told to use a protection
he'd just nervously laugh like ugH yeah sure
he'd be jelly if his pets greeted you before him or payed more attention to you
he'd pout
he can be very shy sometimes, so it'd take him ages to ask you out
he'd probably be accompanied by Seungwoo if you guys met 💀
if you by any chance go drinking, you should probably stop him tbh
he'd also pout if you called him cute
"I'm not cute *pout*"
which is cute
he maybe wouldn't necessarily sing for you as he'd be shy and not very confident
but would LOVE if you sang for him, it would make him fall in love with you more... especially if it was either his song or a song he loves
he'd never interrupt you, just listen to your voice
he'd love if he brought food to him when he practices (other members would be jelly and steal his food so you better bring them too then)
sometimes he'd tell you some weird/dirty jokes without thinking about them first
his excuse would be "Hanse said-"
now all jokes aside, he is a babie but when you two are alone he'd have those dirty times
however he'd be shy to ask for what he wants, like he'd never or rarely ask for it
but you'd see it on him anyway
like he'd be unfocused and talk less
a sub(in)
you could have so much fun with him honestly 😈
tsundere (Seungwoo said it, not me🤷🏻♀️)
his hidden kinky
would love bitting, both recieving and giving
for some reason i also see him liking having a collar with a chain so you can pull him whenever and wherever you like?😌
he would be vanilla of course but not that rough either, however his secret dream is to go rough tbh
also he is young so he might want to try many kinks as long as both of you want that
#kpop reactions#kpop scenarios#kpop smut#victon smut#victon#victon scenarios#victon reactions#han seungwoo#hanse#chan#heo chan#byungchan#sejun#do hanse#im sejun#subin#jung subin#seungsik#han seungwoo smut#hanse smut#seungsik smut#heo chan smut#byungchan smut#subin smut
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Did anyone ask for my Eurovision opinions? Not really but here they are! And yes I got bored at some point so the reasons are either understandable or we’re not on the same wave length really😕😘
Ukraine: not terrible, but really not my kinda music and don’t really like their act, kudos for singing in their language tho 💔 6/10
Austria: good vibes, catchy tune, would be a fun party song, good to sing along to❤️ 8/10
Nederland: catchy sad song, own language kudos 🧡 7/10
Albania: good tune, good vibes, catchy and dancey🧡 7,5/10
Uk: damn dude has a high voice, I really like the song and the lyrics, made me a lil emotional even, could be a hit really ❤️ 9/10
Sweden: idk kinda uninspired, heartbreak song basic, I don’t find her the best singer, they could’ve done better I think💔 3/10
France: great intro, love the vibes, great beat, love the french, love the act ❤️ 9/10
Serbia: own language kudos, kinda weird it’s about Megan markle and the body? weird song really, good beat but really not my thing💔 4/10
Armenia: catchy break up song, would be fun for car singing, nice tune🧡 7/10
Spain: own language kudos!, very catchy, summer party song, not sure about the act but a 8/10❤️
Romania: neh, nice tune 4/10 💔
Italy: own language kudos, love the love song vibes, wondering why the scenery gives me such Holland vibes, I like it 6.5/10 🧡
Cyprus: beautiful voice, love the mix of English and own language, really like the melody, very dreamy vibes 9/10 ❤️
Greece: lil bit dark, but loveee the song 8.5/10❤️
Belgium: love the act, love the music, man has an amazing voice 9.5/10❤️🔥
Azerbeidzjan: another heartbreak song🙄, he has a good voice tho, solid song 6/10 🧡
Lithuania: own language kudos, it vibes but not quite my thing 6/10🧡
Portugal: boring honestly 4/10💔
Israel: lyrics are fun but way too little energy from the guy really 5/20💔
Australia: good song but it isn’t really an Eurovision song? Idk 6.5/10 🧡
Montenegro: I think the message of the song is very relevant with covid, but again it doesn’t really feel like Eurovision 6.5/10🧡
San Marino: MANESKIN RIPP OFF, but the song kinda slaps so 7/10🧡
Bulgaria: tune is good song is eh act is meh 5/10💔
Poland: beautiful song, I hope the act will match the song 9.5/10❤️🔥
Moldova: amazing, this is Eurovision vibes, own language kudos 10/10❤️🔥
Norway: fucking weird but great tune 3/10💔
North Macedonia: great song!!! 8/10 ❤️
Switzerland: it’s alright 5.5/10 🧡
Malta: great message, great vibes, upbeat, very Eurovision 9/10❤️
Ireland: meh it has a lot of potential but this ain’t it 5/10💔
Finland: weird but fun vibes, kinda catchy 7/20🧡
Czech Republic: good vibes, good party song 8/10❤️
Iceland: vibes, they sound amazing together, good song to vibe to in the car 8/10❤️
Estonia: COWBOY SONG❤️❤️❤️
Germany: I’m sorry I can’t stand his voice so 0/10 🖤
Denmark: nope 3/10💔
Latvia: THESE ARE THE WEIRD ASS VIBES I WANT FOR EUROVISION 11/10❤️🔥
Georgia: nope 5/10💔
Slovenia: NICE 8.5/10❤️
Croatia: bleh 5/10💔
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ook i am just going to dump my thoughts!
think i was like? semi worried because she kept talking about how different this album was going to be from stranger and i love stranger i love her soft acoustic stuff so i was a little nervous it would be so different that i wouldn’t like it but literally i’m a whole idiot because it’s like stranger but with the production turned up to ten.. think i might actually call it a perfect album??? like perfect for me subjectively i really love every single song i’ve been having a breakdown for three days straight... feels sort of like a bon iver esque transition from soft folk to more varied instrumentation and production like the growth between for emma and 22 a million but even better... glad i listened to the leak because i actually have to get shit done today and i would not have been able to hear it for the first time fdkggmn
ok les go love dvd menu as an intro yes i am a sucker for instrumental tracks + that interview where phoebe said she’d love to do a whole instrumental album and have it as a score for a film like portrait of a lady on fire.... christ....and the transition into garden song is like chefs kiss i loved garden song as soon as it was out as a single so moody and beautiful she told me my resentments getting smaller i know i know
kyoto god god i love how she leaned into the pop aspects also stare at the chem trails with my little brother literally any time she mentions jackson i have a stroke older sister complex etc etc and the little woo sound she kept in there i’m? in love with her?
punisher is just. makes me feel a bit like i have a hole in my chest lol such a well balanced and moving tribute to elliott who i’m ngl i was never that into but just the whole concept and the chorus and the feeling like you owe this person something for inspiring you so much but at the same time never wanting to actually meet them
i was a lil eh about halloween at first i think mayb because the verse is not my fave even tho the lyrics are as usual incredible but the chorus is just so sweet like i want to cry lol and the guitar that is mr christain lee lose this number hutchinson at work babey! conor’s feature is nice tho in some ways i’m a bit like did he really add anything to the song love the outro though the way the tune goes off as it fades
CHINESE SATELLITE............ might b my fave currently... it’s the strings fucking hell it is the STRINGS that was the first song i listened to because somehow i just knew it was going to gut me and i was right i can’t stop listening to it. the lyrics are just.. too much.. pretending to be myself... i wish i wrote it but i didn’t so i learn the words.. i look at the sky and i feel nothing... i believe when you’re gone it’s forever... like WHAT am i supposed to do with that????? i know she talked about how this song originally had like a big U2 esque chorus lol and how they pared it back and i’m so glad because the impact of the verses and then the softer chorus is just. a lot it’s a lot i told you this was the scott street of punisher because every second makes me go insane ngfmfng
ok getting onto the songs clearly about c*nor lmao i don’t rlly want to focus on that glad that he was there to provide inspo for such ART but the whole situation makes me feel weird don’t know why but we are not dwelling! i heard her play moon song on one of her livestreams and i was like. already in love but the studio version is so good... the lyrics again she’s just so like unabashed in how she loves and how it can be ugly and hard and beautiful at the same time... and the dig at eric claption just because she hates him.. queen!
god savior complex apparently she wrote the melody in a dream???? jesus christ anyway i feel like it calls back to stranger in such a nice way and also has such a nice sense of place like we are in that car! we are there in that one room apartment! i know she said it’s about loving someone who hates themselves (so [redacted] then, we all know ms phoebe) which is a lot but it also feels a bit like a lullaby to me so soft
i see you.......... one that grew on me until i literally couldn’t think about anything else when i heard it as a single i was like ok yes! fun! great! but the more i listened to it and after i heard the demo i just lost my mind every time i think about “i used to light you up, now i can’t even get you to play the drums” i go insane it’s scott street again god bless marshall vore and his drums! damn! also the way she sings i’ll climb through the window again.. feels like a throat punch
can’t even type graceland too without wanting to cry how is this song so beautiful think it might be my fave after chinese satellite it is just. the most beautiful thing how many times am i gonna use that word a lot apparently but again the sense of place is there and it just feels like? such a healing moment after all the previous songs. especially with lucy and julien on there like! the harmonies!! ladies!!! there’s something almost fleetwood mac about it as well it makes me think of silver springs and obviously the dixie chicks influence basically it’s perfect send post
i know the end is SUCH a good closer.. the screaming alone.. i knew we were going to be blessed with some yelling thank you ms bridgers also the strings in this one too i love a violin apparently fuck me and god it gives me such sufjan vibes circa illinois era like esp the outro with everyone singing together and the horns and where she takes the melody... think she mentioned suf actually in that stereogum interview i’m really imploding.... and the end with her soft screaming and the cough i’m. i love how it feels like two parts interwoven like a lot of my fave songs do and the way it BUILDS man that whole section makes me want to lie on the ground and wait for the end... when the drums kick in....the sound effect when she sings about lightening.... when everyone joins in on the end is here.... the way the tone changes for the outro with the screaming.... ok this is long i should stop but basically congrats on a perfect album phoebe i’ll never recover! :~)
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1..Who was the last person you held hands with? Probably My son
2. Are you outgoing or shy? Shy until I’m
Comfortable
3. Who are you looking forward to seeing? My surgeon
4. Are you easy to get along with? I try to Be. Don’t give me a reason to not Like you 😉
5. If you were drunk would the person you like take care of you? Never had someone take care of me from drinking .....I’m usually taking care of everyone else
6. What kind of people are you attracted to? Loyal. Chill. Down to earth .
7. Are you married? No.
8. Do you want to get married? Eventually . I do , but I need it to be for the right reason.
9. Does talking about sex make you uncomfortable? Makes me feel Lonely lately believe it or not.... 😔
10. Who was the last person you had a deep conversation with? Steve
11. What does the most recent text that you sent say? “Oh cool 😎”
12. What are your 5 favorite songs right now?
lil peep- star shopper
Brand new-Jesus Christ
Bebe rexha- I’m a mess
Anything Billie eillish
Doja cat -rules
Ashnikko-daisy
That’s more than 5, Idc
13. Do you like it when people play with your hair? Only certain people
14. Do you believe in luck and miracles? I don’t know anymore
15. What good thing happened this summer? Got a tan and not covid 👌🏼👌🏼
16. Would you kiss the last person you kissed again? My little guy? I will kiss him when ever I can cause one day he’s not gonna want me to and I’ll be sad
17. Do you think there is life on other planets? Absolutely
18. Do you still talk to your first crush? Yes
19. Do you like bubble baths? 110%
20. Do you like your neighbors? Yea
21. What are you bad habits? Overthinking, caring to much.
22. Where would you like to travel? Anywhere
23. Do you have trust issues? No, people that scumbag me Normally get cut off so I only keep ppl around I trust.
24. Favorite part of your daily routine? Coffee & a bowl
25. What part of your body are you most uncomfortable with? Uhhh everything from the chin down 😔
26. What do you do when you wake up? Set gage up for class in the living room
27. Do you wish your skin was lighter or darker?darker
28. Who are you most comfortable around? Lauren Rayza
29. Have any of your ex’s told you they regret breaking up? They don’t get the chance, yes a few tried to contact me but my mentality is fuck them.... one even tried emailing my friends to reach me 🙄🙄🖕🏼
30. Do you ever want to get married? I do, one day. Didn’t I just answer this
31. If your hair long enough for a pony tail? Yes
32. Which celebrities would you have a threesome with? Idk I’d have to think about it
33. Spell your name with your chin. The fuck?
34. Do you play sports? What sports? Bought a bike yesterday Lol. I used to be on the swim team and I played soccer~ also took dance for 7 years.
35. Would you rather live without TV or music? Depends on my mood
36. Have you ever liked someone and never told them? Absolutely.
37. What do you say during awkward silences? Try to avoid them at all Costs
38. Describe your dream girl/guy? No.
39. What are your favorite stores to shop in? Sephora Ulta Victoria secret
40. What do you want to do after high school? Lol I think that bridge has been crosses already
41. Do you believe everyone deserves a second chance? Not everyone , no.
42. If your being extremely quiet what does it mean? Normally bad anxiety and hurting , or extremely chill
43. Do you smile at strangers?
Yea I do.... but now I forget I have a mask on and look like a retard
44. Trip to outer space or bottom of the ocean? Can I just going fishing ?
45. What makes you get out of bed in the morning? My son.
46. What are you paranoid about? Money
47. Have you ever been high? There’s a joint in my hand.
48. Have you ever been drunk? Who writes these things??
49. Have you done anything recently that you hope nobody finds out about? No.
50. What was the colour of the last hoodie you wore? Navy
51. Ever wished you were someone else? Eh wish I was still me with more $$$
52. One thing you wish you could change about yourself? I don’t have to wish, I’m doing it.
53. Favourite makeup brand? Tarte, morphs, fenty
54. Favourite store? Didn’t I answer this?
55. Favourite blog? My own💚
56. Favourite colour? Black, Periwinkle , light lavender ,pink
57. Favourite food? Japanese
58. Last thing you ate? 8 hours slow cooked ribs
59. First thing you ate this morning? Coffee
60. Ever won a competition? For what? Probably & Idr
61. Been suspended/expelled? Started a food fight in the science lab and they suspended the wrong Angela ~Womp womp...I did get detention a lot cause my shirt was too low in the front tho.
62. Been arrested? No
63. Ever been in love? Yea I think so
64. Tell us the story of your first kiss? No. ☺️
65. Are you hungry right now? I could eat.
66. Do you like your tumblr friends more than your real friends? Meh
67. Facebook or Twitter? Fb
68. Twitter or Tumblr? Tumblr
69. Are you watching tv right now?yes
70. Names of your bestfriends? Stephanie Lauren Rayza Kat Christina
71. Craving something? A simple hand hold...😔.... compliment here or there . To not have to do everything myself... I crave the help I constantly ask for and never get. I crave dick, I just don’t understand this shit anymore.... damnit tumblr u struck a nerve .
72. What colour are your towels? Mixed
72. How many pillows do you sleep with? 1
73. Do you sleep with stuffed animals? No
74. How many stuffed animals do you think you have?idk
75. Favourite animal? So many..... tigers maybe? & Lynx. Sharks.
76. What colour is your underwear? Not wearing any 😬
77. Chocolate or Vanilla? Chocolate
78. Favourite ice cream flavour? Mint chocolate chip
79. What colour shirt are you wearing? Olive green
80. What colour pants? None on.
81. Favourite tv show? In the dark
82. Favourite movie? All 50 shades.
83. Mean Girls or Mean Girls 2? First one
84. Mean Girls or 21 Jump Street? How do these compare
85. Favourite character from Mean Girls? The Lebanese chick
86. Favourite character from Finding Nemo? Turtles
87. First person you talked to today? Gage
88. Last person you talked to today? Myself
89. Name a person you hate? Hate is a strong word.
90. Name a person you love? Gage
91. Is there anyone you want to punch in the face right now? Lol Geoff
92. In a fight with someone? No
93. How many sweatpants do you have? No idea
94. How many sweaters/hoodies do you have?Too many
95. Last movie you watched? “What if”
96. Favourite actress? Perry Mattfeld
97. Favourite actor? Hmmmm
98. Do you tan a lot?yassss
99. Have any pets? A zoo
100. How are you feeling? Confused, tired burning out ..
101. Do you type fast? I try
102. Do you regret anything from your past? Yes
103. Can you spell well? Eh
104. Do you miss anyone from your past? Yes
105. Ever been to a bonfire party? Yes
106. Ever broken someone’s heart? Yes
107. Have you ever been on a horse? Yes
108. What should you be doing? Listing stuff on Etsy
109. Is something irritating you right now? No
110. Have you ever liked someone so much it hurt? Absolutely
111. Do you have trust issues? No, just don’t give me a reason too.
112. Who was the last person you cried in front of? Ohhhh I don’t cry in front of ppl,cause then there’s a witness... did cry today tho, but you couldn’t see me.
113. What was your childhood nickname? Angiefur
114. Have you ever been out of your province/state? Yes
115. Do you play the Wii?not really
116. Are you listening to music right now? No
117. Do you like chicken noodle soup? Yes
118. Do you like Chinese food? Yes
119. Favourite book? Crank
120. Are you afraid of the dark?some times
121. Are you mean? Don’t cross me 😘
122. Do you believe in “the one that got away”? Yes.
123. Can you keep white shoes clean? I try
124. Do you believe in love at first sight? Idk
125. Do you believe in true love? Yes
126. Are you currently bored? Yes
127. What makes you happy? Attention lol romance? I think romance is dead tho...
128. Would you change your name? My last name? If I were getting married, yes
129. What your zodiac sign? Leo
130. Do you like subway? Food yes, smelly train no....
131. Your bestfriend of the opposite sex likes you, what do you do? All my besties have vaginas, nothing to worry about.
132. Who’s the last person you had a deep conversation with? Steve
133. Favourite lyrics right now? Brand new : Jesus Christ
134. Can you count to one million? Yea but why
135. Dumbest lie you ever told? I don’t lie so I don’t have that problem
136. Do you sleep with your doors open or closed? Closed Cause only 1 Of my 4 asshole cats I allowed in my room
137. How tall are you? Oh how short am I? 5’1
138. Curly or Straight hair? Straight
139. Brunette or Blonde? Right now black
140. Summer or Winter?summer
141. Night or Day? Summer nights
142. Favourite month? August
143. Are you a vegetarian? Keto
144. Dark, milk or white chocolate? Dark
145. Tea or Coffee? Coffee
146. Was today a good day? I think so
147. Mars or Snickers? Dark chocolate Milky Way
148. What’s your favourite quote? I’d have to think about it
149. Do you believe in ghosts? Yes
150. Get the closest book next to you, open it to page 42, what’s the first line on that page?
“His thumb brushes my lower lip, and his breath hitches. He’s staring into my eyes, and I hold his anxious, burning gaze for a moment, or maybe it’s forever…but eventually, my attention is drawn to his beautiful mouth. And for the first time in twenty-one years, I want to be kissed.”
Excerpt From
Fifty Shades Trilogy Bundle: Fifty Shades of Grey; Fifty Shades Darker; Fifty Shades Freed
E L James
This material may be protected by copyright.
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my real-time thoughts on rocketman the 4th time I’ve seen it in total and 2nd time this week, let’s go bois *very long post warning*
fair warning I just finished jojo rabbit less than an hour ago and it was way more emotional than I expected, so she’s probably going to be an emotional wreck tonight ladies!! :)) also, I will be pausing the movie throughout! just wanted to let you know
starting the night out right with some lay’s salt and vinegar chips and a lush face mask
not even a part of the movie but when the studio logos come on a version of goodbye yellow brick road and just *french kiss*
it’s starting and I am here for it!!
taron comes looking like an icon and a snack. actually, a whole meal. the heart glasses omggg
“how long’s this gonna take.” “that’s really up to you.”
i never noticed this before but taron stares right into the camera as he introduces himself
“my name is elton hercules john. and I’m an alcoholic. and a cocaine addict. and a sex addict. and a bulimic. i’m also a shopaholic who was problems with weed, prescription drugs, and anger management.”
“well my dealer was out of town I thought this seemed like a good alternative,”
“and I wanted to get better.”
um the transition into the full on musical number of the bitch is back.
this tiny little child actor playing elton saying bitch 10 million times. props to his parents for letting him do that.
um also his riffs??
just the way his mom says, “love to.”
god his dad is a DOUCHE
“when are you going to hug me”🥺🥺
the flashlight conducting scene!! they’re playing rocketman and it’s so beautiful and cute!! whe lil reggie/elton gets on the mini piano oh my god
when he looks at his mom’s fashion magazines...gay fashion icon beginnings...
*looks up* “can we go home,”
he starts playing his teacher’s song and she’s just like 😦😦
idk if this is an unpopular opinion but I don’t really like the I want love scene. I just don’t really like the switching of singer, the arrangement, and tempo. just my opinion though :/ also that’s the only weak scene of this movie I think
elton’s grandmother appreciation post send tweet
that last I want love though.
when his mom is clearly getting it on in a car and her date is like, “I’m..,,..a friend of.,.,,..your mum’s,.,,”
his dad leaves. heartbreaking!
when he wipes the tear away...
“i discovered records. and rock and roll :)”
playing classical music with an elvis presley haircut is an aesthetic no I don’t take criticism
“excuse me. you can’t put that there,” “why not,” “it’ll get knocked off.”
when he transforms into teenage elton and an amazing musical/dance number starts
that face taron makes when the door shuts on the car
“it’s not just your name. you gotta kill the person you were born to be in order to become the person you wanna be.”
that kiss with one of the band members is so hot.
peeing in a bottle in disgusting I’m sorry.
“what’d you say your name was again?” “elton.” “elton. elton what.” “john. elton john.”
ray is cute af. also the transcendental moment when he hands elton the envelope with bernie’s lyrics in it.
“one frothy coffee, no froth.”
jamie is so cute what the heckkkk
singing streets of loredo in a cafe is so wholesome and adorable
holy sHIT BORDER SONG IS STARTING
bernie and elton are literally so cute together as friends omg
also completely digging these like early 70s silk scarf things.
“yeah I could just take those songs and leave if you like,”
“what about the fact that you’re a f*g...your little friend here...is a homosexual.”
bernie not caring whether or not elton is is gay is Peak Pure ™
“oH fUcK”
when they stumble home drunk. the cuteness I can’t.
“you are a ssshhHHITT hot piano player, you have an aMAZING voice, and I’m telling you there is something special that happens...when you sing our songs.”
the way the two handle elton’s leaning in for a kiss is SO GOOD and I could write an entire essay on it. “we became inseparable after that. the brother I never had.”
“anyway I took his advice. told arabella. she took it quite well actually,” *cut to her throwing his piano out the window* “sHe KiLlEd mY pIaNo”
your song and everything about that scene is perfection. that’s all I have to say.
“you can’t just sPRING the troubadour on me.”
“put on a great
fucking
show. and just don’t kill yourself with drugs?”
amoreena is so good how didn’t I realize this until now!
doug flirting w/bernie kills me every time.
“ooh dude. what the hell’re you wearing?”
“my stage gear.”
*bernie stumbles in drunk* “reggie! reggie reggie. neil diamond is at the bar he’s talkin to leon russell and half the fuckin beach boys eh??”
“jesus sHIT bernie,”
that little, “well come on then,” after being yelled by bernie & ray
“please welcome all the way from london, england...”
ELTON JOHN
when he starts singing it’s like the smoothest molasses ever and I am HERE for it.
there’s an interview where taron says, and I quote, “those dungarees made my ass look massive” wholeheartedly agree my guy. but in best way possible
when they start floating
elton’s jacket and the magic that is the entirety of tiny dancer <3 <3
there’s a whole ass bed in a tipi?? what the hell
“so you like the songs then?” “not quite as much as the singer,” OH SHIT THE GAY TENSION
“there are moments in a rockstar’s life that defines who he is...and it’s going to be a wild ride,”
it’s a weird scene to like but I really love the take me to the pilot love scene. the song is so good and perfect for that moment, and they seem genuinely attracted to each other (even though john ends up being a huge dick later)
the way he takes the glasses off
the lil race to get their pants off is weird but it works
elton just seems so happy and content at the end and it’s so refreshing.
when he gets the shoes and the glasses <3
he looks so happy and fulfilled my little boy
why is it so cute when he and Kiki record don’t go breaking my heart
elton stops it the SECOND he sees John oh my goddd
kiki’s little “ough” when she sees john
“elton what’s going on are we going again or should we go for a pint,” *sees john walk into the closet* “yeah no yeah you should go for a pint”
HONKY CAT IS ONE OF IF NOT THE BEST SCENES/SONGS IN THE ENTIRE FILM THERE I SAID IT
cocaine induced head butt of a soccer ball is iconic
why did they have to get rid of rayyyy
the, “best of luck to you elton,” is so bitter yet genuinely well-wishing??
“welp...that was *absolutely* horrible,” is such a mood
the scene where he goes to come out to his dad is so incredibly heartbreaking, especially when it cuts to him in rehab.
taron deserves an oscar just for throwing that chair alone.
“what have you got to do the get a fucking drink around here, eh?” and then he takes a swig from a bottle in the car with john
when he calls his mom to come out. that shit hurts.
“i just hope you realize you’re choosing a life of being alone forever...you’ll never be loved properly.” he opens his mouth. it’s so awful guys. and then he fucking gets punched by john what an absolute dick.
“real love’s hard to come by. so you find a way to cope without it.”
the scene that comes right after that when he’s getting ready for his show and snorts cocaine and takes a swig of a drink really shows how far off the deep end he had gone. it’s heartbreaking, really.
“PEOPLE DON’T PAY TO SEE rEgInALd dWiGhT THEY PAY TO SEE ELTON JOHN. DON’T EVER TELL ME HOW TO DO MY FUCKING JOB.” “WRITE THE FUCKING LYRICS, BERNIE. LET ME DEAL WITH THE REST,” “i’m sorry,” “i know.”
that headdress tho
ok but pinball wizard absolutely slaps and so does the montage with all of his changing outfits
oh my god the drag queen in his room though
NONONONO JOHN IS LITERALLY RIGHT THERE FUCKING CHEATING ON HIM IT IS NOT OKAY.
what an inconvenient time for his mom to waltz in
“and what a shy little boy you were! look at you now.”
“mum you’re ON my GOWN,”
i wish i were as cool as bernie getting out of that car and coming inside
“yEaGhHhH...go get a lil drink. yehyeh,”
get ready for one of the most impactful scenes of 2019 if not the 2010s ladies
“FOR MY NEXT TRICK i’m gonna fucking kill myself.”
again, I could write an entire essay on this but the fact that he is literally hitting rock bottom with his childhood self down there is so impactful and powerful and one of the greatest artistic choices they made in this film. also the cinematography is gorgeous.
and oh, by the way, taron actually performed this underwater. no cgi or special effects. where is his oscar.
john is a dick to him on the stretcher but bernie looks so genuinely concerned for his friend and I love that.
it is absolutely gut wrenching when they pump his stomach.
THE CINEMATOGRAPHY AND ANGLES AND SILHOUETTES WHEN IT GETS TO THE BIG CHORUS PART IS SO SO SO INCREDIBLY GOOD AND AMAZING AND I WILL NEVER, EVER GET OVER IT.
the nurses getting him ready for what was probably his biggest/most iconic performance to date is something so incredible, and such a great choice cinematically, story wise, and really emotion wise too. he was at his absolute rock bottom and did one of if not the most iconic performance a little over 24hrs later, and I think this little part really helps to illustrate that.
taron actually hit that baseball and I’m so proud of him for it.
the liftoff is so great. and then it cuts to him in a plane with smoke on his head which just. ugh.
hot take: elton’s addiction wouldn’t have gotten so bad if he had just gone to bernie’s fucking ranch with him
THE QUEEN OUTFIT IS SO ICONIC IM SORRY
also if this movie doesn’t win the goddamn best costume design I swear to god.
YES BENNIE AND THE JETSSSSS
this is also such a great scene as well omg.
when he flashbacks to his childhood and difficult and also great moments in his life during this sequence. that hit hard.
i feel like no one talks about taron’s arms enough? they as thiccc as his thighs why y’all sleeping on them
“You signed a contract with me years ago, so I’ll still be collecting my 20% long after you’ve killed yourself.” that’s cold as hell.
when he throws that glass at the door. and then victim of love starts playing straight afterwards UGH dexter fletcher you need to STOP and CALM DOWN
listen I don’t know elton was thinking and/or feeling in terms of life and his sexuality when he decided to marry renata but can we talk about his wedding outfit?? wtffff it’s so gay and if you don’t see it you’re blind.
the look his mom gives him I’m DEAD
they literally had separate rooms this was not a normal marriage. the breakfast scene is so sad though.
“did being married make you happy?” “not really, I’m gay.” hands down one of the most iconic lines in the entire movie.
why does he have sperm on this firework suit coat.
“you know I am so sick of running away from who I am.”
the way his voice wavers and cracks is not okay. and neither is his mom twisting everything around so that she’s made out to be the victim. and don’t cry in the bathroom elton please buddy. you’ll be okay.
“campaign to kill yourself is going well, eh?”
“when did you give up? if you don’t care about yourself how can you expect anyone else to...it’s not weak to ask for help.”
goodbye yellow brick road is such a beautiful song and scene and why didn’t we get Jamie to sing more I mean come on he does so incredibly well in this scene.
also I didn’t really realize that they flipped a few verses around for the movie. and elton yelling and screaming at bernie as he leaves is so powerful.
elton yelling at himself.
this is also when he has a heart attack?? chest infection?? I don’t really know but he falls down the stairs and Mr. Dick Manager John makes him continue to perform.
and there he is in the first scene’s costume. singing the rest of yellow brick road.
and there he goes. off to rehab. a full circle moment. good for him for finally taking control of his life and addictions.
“yeah but I started acting like a c*nt in 1975. I just forgot to stop.”
“maybe I should’ve tried to be more ordinary.” his grandmother walks in. “he was never ordinary.” my. heart. can. not. take. this.
this next scene where he talks to everyone in his mind is incredibly powerful and I will shout it from the rooftops until the end of time.
“my problem is that I believed you loved me. and you’re incapable of it.” the SHADE
“actually I think I’m okay with strange.”
BERNIE COMES IN MY LOVE
“bernie...I never told you how much I need you.” shit fam here comes the waterworks
“you just need to remember who you are. and be okay with it.”
and then his childhood self comes in. “I haven’t been reggie Dwight for years.” “when are you going to hug me.” he engulfs his young self in a hug. this is one of the best moments of the film and I am now full on crying.
I can’t get over how wholesome bernie’s visit is with Elton. the sweetest thing ever.
“you’re not scared you’re not good without it, you’re scared to feel again...this is the part you gotta do on your own. these...need music”
“thank you bernie.” “you’re my brother.” <3
and then he finally sits down to write again. and it’s pure magic.
I’m still standing is a a feat of what he’s been through the entire movie. finally, he’s sober, he’s accepting of himself/his sexuality, and is getting to a better place. plus, it mirrors the original music video, and is everything I’ve ever needed and more. *the* perfect scene and song to end upon.
he’s so happy at the end. and then the epilogue starts and says he’s been sober for 28 years and counting, set up an aids charity, still writes with bernie, met his husband David 25 years ago and is finally loved properly (rip my heart out of my chest, why don’t you), has two sons and is retiring from touring. and and the I’m gonna love me again plays with him and taron and it’s just such a perfect song to end, and I can’t.
so. those are my thought while watching rocketman for the 4th time in total, 2nd time this week. sorry that’s it’s so long. I just love this film so much. anyways, it’s almost 2am and I’m an emotional wreck. I’m gonna go cry and go to bed now. thanks for making it this far. :) <3
#elton john rocket man#eltonjohn#sir elton john#elton john#taron egerton#taronegerton#taron egerton rocketman#70s music#musical biopic#musical fanatasy#rocketman review#rocketman movie review#movie review#film review#music review#film analysis#film exposé
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Answer 21, Tag 21
Tagged by: @marigoldeneyes WOWOW I LOVE YOU BB THANK U
1. Nicknames: Poe, Poey, Poe-Go, Dweadski, Mon, Moni, and the list goes on. (Rule of thumb, if it starts with a “P” its my nickname).
2. Zodiac Sign: Aries!
3. Height: 5′5″ Inches
4. Hogwarts 🏠: Ravenclaw! (one inch from Gryffindor tho)
5. Last Thing I googled: The spelling and general knowledge on halberdiers. I needed to know for a character I was working on. :3
6. Favourite Musicians: Oh lawd, okay. I love all kinds of music from Britney Spears to Ramstein, I also have a strong liking to classic rock; however, if I had to list some favorite bands and musicians I’d say: Disturbed, Kamelot, Nightwish, Breaking Benjamin, Journey, and I have a weak spot for ELO (Electric Light Orchestra). Also ABBA. Can’t forget ABBA.
7. Song Stuck in My Head: “My Name Is Human” by Highly Suspect
8. Following Now: 30 (which might I add is insane??? I am barely active nowadays and am relatively a new blog??? Wowzers im love all of you).
9. Followers: 31
10. Do I Get Asks?: Whenever I reblog a meme I am shocked with how many people actually send some in and sometimes I get cute lil’ anons. I still love the one with Beauty and the Beast lyrics. :3
11. Amount of 💤?: Fuck, about like....5 or 6 hours I think? Depression often makes it vary.
12. Lucky Number: 10
13. What I’m Wearing: The majority of my clothes are black. I only ever wear a bit of red. BUT if you wanna know exactly what right now: tea pot themed pajamas. :)
14. Dream Job: Honestly............I just wanna make art. Maybe do comics or even just make money off traditional art would be nice, I love painting---especially with watercolor.
15. Dream Trip: travel scares me
16. Favorite Food: I’m kinda struggling with food, but steak fajitas are the bomb dot com.
17. Instruments: I used to play the violin really well until my orchestra teacher (freshmen year) verbally abused me and tried to force me out of the spring concert; unfortunately, I haven’t been able to pick it up since. I wanted to be a singer when I was younger, but I think I’m about as tone deaf as my muse and I was told my voice was really raspy and out of tune so....I kinda dropped playing music and singing all together, which isn’t right and I know I shouldn’t let those experiences get the best of me but...eh. Maybe one day when inspiration strikes, I’ll do it.
18. Languages: English and very broken German.
19. Favorite Song: “The Light” by Disturbed
20. Random Fact: I have always related to Rapunzel as a little girl because I felt trapped. My mom didn’t let me or my brother celebrate Halloween until we were teenagers, I spent the majority of my early years without friends or anywhere outside the house without literally begging to be taken somewhere, and visits to other family members involved one kind of drama or another. I also didn’t cut my hair until I was twelve and the only reason I did was because it was just uh...a little too much to handle. It went past my butt and long strands of brown were literally everywhere. xD
21. Aesthetic: Tarot cards, skulls, red and black, cute lil’ kitties and bunnies, typewriters (always wanted one!), the smell of sage, crystals, fire, witchy things, demons but like...cute ones, contrast between life and death, etc.
Tagging: @magicfordummies, @fadedintheflames, @humortremors, @rebclangcl, @brusquc, @nevivorona, AND surely theres more but....my brain is ehhhhhhhh not working right. Literally if you wanna do it then do it! Also apologies if anyone of you beans I tagged already did it, just kinda---toss this post into the void. Just yeet it. Sacrifice it to Cthulhu. It’s all good and no pressure at all.
#Mun info#(ooc)#(pwofehqo[wehoero[rh this was fun)#(thanks again for tagging me. I give many hugs through the screen)#(I am honestly so happy that peeps still tag me in stuff and want interaction#despite my slow activity)#(you beans are so pure and must be protected)
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My pre-show top 41
hello clowns! as an indecisive bottom, ranking all 41 entries of this year’s esc into a definitive top was a challenge but I think I’m finally decided on my ranking! read below the cut for clown certified bad takes
the stan list:
1. Greece / Katerine Duska - Better Love
yall already been knew but its Athens 2020 babey! her voice...the lyrics...the chorus....the visuals...the production.........talented, brilliant, incredible, amazing, showstopping, spectacular, never the same.......the power it has......the international implications.............god we stan
2. Italy / Mahmood - Soldi
the clapping in soldi is mahmood applauding himself for being That Bitch because god soldi Slaps. probably my favourite italian entry of this decade if not ever. its just gay rights
3. Netherlands / Duncan Laurene - Arcade
if amsterdam 2020 does actually happen it would be so fucking deserved becuase duncan really snapped on this one......he really did that you know what i mean
# Ukraine / Maruv - Siren Song
really wish UA weren’t such clowns because siren song is scientifically proven to smack...it just bangs!
4. Iceland / Hatari - Hatari - Hatrið mun sigra
ok so at first i couldn’t really get behind this because i didnae feel the verses at all but they’ve really grown on me and i appreciate them as part of the package a Lot more now. however if the entire song was as good as the chorus it would undoubtedly be reykjavik 2020 but it be like that sometimes
5. Romania / Ester Peony - On A Sunday
i know the nf was shady but i’m so fucking glad this won over little miss i hate gay people. its just so unqiue and mysterious and moody god i’m so emo x. really hope this is a dark horse this year but i’m Worried
6. Portugal / Conan Osiris - Telemoveis
i don’t entirely get what hes serving but bitch i’ll take it. really appreciate conan’s artistry and the musical diversity hes bringing to the semi and europe better fucking treat him right or there Will be consequences
7. Norway / Keiino - Spirit in the Sky
this is the fun eurovision bop we all deserve this year and i would die for all three of them. also really love the sámi representation!!! take notes sweden
8. Spain / Miki Núñez - La Venda
while I preferred the original to the revamp, i’m also don’t really care because its still the best song spain’s sent since pastora, its just so fun and warm and full of energy and god miki is a lad!! main reason its so high in my top tho is because i want miki to choke m-
9. Albania / Jonida Maliqi - Ktheju tokës
time to put on my clown suit but i preferred the original cut. that bein said jonida maliqi is a queen and ktheju tokës is still the masterful ethnic banger it always was. my crops are really watered well this year. also if this dies because of its running order position i will Snap
10. Armenia / Srbuk - Walking Out
before i even get into the actual tune the piano intro to this song that lasts for a maximum of 5 seconds is better than half of all eurovision songs to date so that’s that. but also the song itself is real powerful and modern and god the last chorus sent my wigs to yerevan immediately. srbuk could step on me and i’d give her the esc trophy
11. Azerbaijan / Chingiz - Truth
im so glad azerbaijan let go of their sweden of the caucuses look because it wasnt a good one but this one really is!! shes serving
12. Malta / Michela - Chameleon
does malta finally deserve rights? maybe so! to me this is the best, most original of this years fuegos i just love that drop. really smacks. hope it looks as good on stage as it does in the mv tho
13. Hungary / Pápai Joci - Az én apám
its not as good as origo but can you really beat perfection? joci may be back but my depression is nowhere to be found
14. Poland / Tulia - Fire Of Love (Pali Się)
best polish entry in a while if not ever. i get why its polarising but to me it just fucking Slaps. feel like storming down the street and robbing a pierogi store. queens. also the bilingualism really works some revamps should really take some notes
15. Belgium / Eliot - Wake Up
this feels like the sequel to city lights and while it may not be as good its still a great installment. the chorus could be more impactful but i still love it we stan the belgian renaissance
16. Slovenia / Zala Kralj & Gašper Šantl - Sebi
at first listen i thought this was one of the flattest, most monotone entries in a while and was completely puzzled as to how it had stans but turns out that was just the live oof. in studio its a really magical tune but im not sure they’re gonna be able to make it work on stage but here’s hoping! also gasper and zala seem really sweet so we stan
17. Latvia / Carousel - That Night
not to be romantic on main, but this song is just one of those that makes you feel like you’re sitting around a campfire staring at stars playing tunes in the wild west you know what i mean? while it may be repetitive as fuck i just really love its chill atmosphere
18. North Macedonia / Tamara Todevska - Proud
i’ve stanned macedonia since 2017 but they always fucking let me down with the staging However this is the dramatic ass female ballad i’m stanning this year and i just feel at home in a clown suit
19. San Marino / Serhat - Say Na Na Na
never in my life did i expect san marino to actually snap this hard. this is genuinely good while still maintaining that san marinese campy charm and i want nothing more than for serhat to be my kind caring uncle. if europe lets him down it will know nothing but Pain
20. Serbia / Nevena Božović - Kruna
we always stan a good balkan ballad. best one in a while and i hope europe treats her right she deserves it after the tragedy that was moje 3
21. France / Bilal Hassani - Roi
at first i was not feeling this song at all but its really grown on me! bilal loaned me his best clown wig and i feel really pretty
22. Cyprus / Tamta - Replay
this one the other hand has very much grown off me. while it slapped at first when most of the songs out were disappointing nf songs, coming straight after fuego it just feels a little stale. kinda wish cyprus had changed it up more rather than go for more of the same. but ill probably be stanning once may 14th comes around because im a clown
these are also good:
23. Ireland / Sarah McTernan - 22
this isnt quite good enough to stan but its still a lovely lil pop song. its gonna get absolutely murdered at esc but its cute
24. Sweden / John Lundvik - Too Late For Love
swedens best entry since 2014 and i guess this is sort of a break from the trend However i still have some issues. it does bop but as always it feels like i’ve heard it all before you know what i mean. It slaps in a completely safe way which is fine but I just want sweden to change it up just Once it’s not asking much
25. Czechia / Lake Malawi - Friend Of A Friend
unstoppable force: friend of a friend slaps and is one of czechias best entries. immovable object: making loOooHrve
26. Australia / Kate Miller Heidke - Zero Gravity
at first the terrible over the top nf staging made me dislike this song a Lot but after I took the time to detach the song from the performance it grew on me a lot. However i still find it a little bit underwhelming but its a nice break from the complete jury bait snores they’ve been sending every year after guy sebastian invented music
27. Russia / Sergey Lazarev - Scream
this is clearly a song made for a live performance and there’s no doubt its gonna do really well with whatever they’re planning for the staging but that’s kind of my problem with it. while good, it feels incomplete. like a lot of it feels like its leaving room for a live performance moment so as a standalone song it feels lacking you know what i mean
28. Belarus / Zena - Like it
this songs fun and catchy you guys are just mean!! yes its basic but that doesn’t mean it can’t bop. I’m not gonna stan but i’m gonna enjoy it. billie eilish is shaking in her boots
29. Switzerland / Luca Hänni - She Got Me
sorry to be heterophobic but i’m not in love with this song. I was never a fan of his discography and while this song is a massive upgrade from his other songs imo, and extremely catchy, it also feels like hes trying so damn hard to convince everyone hes straight you know what i mean. no song with the lyrics ‘getting rowdy rowdy’ deserves 3rd in the betting sorry sisters. i just cant take it seriously but it still bops and when it does well its not gonna be undeserving, i just like a lot of songs more
30. Denmark / Leonora - Love Is Forever
this song is sweet and i appreciate the multilingualism but its also a little too sweet. Its perfectly fine but i just prefer other songs
31. Austria / Paenda - Limits
i don’t actually dislike this but it really is missing something. hopefully that something is in the staging because as it stands its got the elements of a good atmospheric ballad and shes a great singer but it just never reaches any sort of memorable climax
the whelmed list:
32. Lithuania / Jurijus - Run With The Lions
ok so when i first heard this i really was slapping but with every listen it just gets more and more average to me. when i listen to it i feel like i’m underrating it but then immediately i’ve forgotten lithuania’s competing. but honestly this years too strong we in my bottom 10 and i’m still bopping
33. Estonia / Victor Crone - Storm
this isn’t terrible but it really is just an avicii throwaway from 2013. nevermind that there were much better songs in the nf, its just way too safe. I don’t hate it and i can bop to it if i try but at the same time-wait why can i hear a plane oh god oh fu
34. United Kingdom / Michael Rice - Bigger Than Us
why are we always such a disappointment? michael is a legend but when we’re sending a song that sweden outright told it’s entrant to not use, There’s a problem. when we send a song in welsh it’s over for you hoes
35. Finland / Darude ft. Sebastian Rejman - Look Away
like storm this is just a very average piece of edm. it’s not terrible but it’s not great either. eh
36. Germany / S!sters - Sister
this is a song called sister by a group called S!sters, who aren’t even remotely related. that’s all i’ve got to say
these aren’t great:
37. Israel / Kobi Marimi - Home
look i will forever stan kobi for calling out wiwi but i can’t deny that his song is absolute paint by the numbers toilet break. pass
38. Montenegro / D-mol - Heaven
it does sound like a bad throwback to the 90′s but i guess its at least catchy. which is more than i can say about some songs. its kind of ok if im feeling nice
39. Croatia / Roko Blažević
forget about greece. there is no doubt in my mind that croatia’s gonna win for the second time following jacques houdek’s momentous win in kiyv. and no i am not being held at gunpoint
40. Moldova / Anna Odobescu - Stay
this just sounds like a nq from 2010. anna deserves a better song. next
41. Georgia / Oto Nemsadze - Keep On Going
a day or so i decided to listen to this for once and found myself going ‘this ain’t that bad’. just as i was applying my clown makeup, the song finished and I realised that I could not remember a single second.
___
so there it is! that means my qualifiers from each semi are:
Semi 1: Greece, Iceland, Portugal, Hungary, Poland, Belgium, Slovenia, San Marino, Serbia, and Cyprus
Semi 2: Netherlands, Romania, Norway, Albania, Armenia, Azerbaijan, Malta, Latvia, North Macedonia, Ireland
im in danger
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party yesterday and the night before was really good
it’s cool talking to new people who are different ages and have different experiences from you!! everybody was really memorable, and nice. good mix of people for sure.
i really liked hanging out w people and just having a chill time yesterday. hope theres more opportunities to hang out w everyone. endless joints being passed around. we thought we ran out of alcohol but then there was a ton more in the freezer LOL. that’s how you know a party’s good.
one guy, ama_ris, was a total party dad, checked on everyone, made sure volume wasn’t too loud outside, also yiked on some chick and we were all like oh mah god LOLOL apparently someone who wasn’t black said the n word and he made a psa to erryone that that word wasn’t ok LOL it was like oof but yeah. i gave him an edible but just one since he already took half a tab of molly LOL
jerem__y x_ue came through with his gf!! they were realy cute togetha. she’s really sweet and smiley. they were hella good at beer pong but they were playing against one dude m_att who was literally on the baseball team!!!! ma_tt literally made six cups in a row LOLOL but it ended up being a really close, hype game.
then i played w someone and i was actually IN THE ZONE and turned my competitive tryhard mode on. we were both killin it but we ended up very narrowly losing. but it was definitely a good game.
there were these three white girls who came and were havin a good time together and i really liked their vibe. i only met one of them but apparently she went to tino, same year as jer_my and they were like omg!!! LOLOL i talked to her for like ten seconds but her smile was so cute and bright that i got really smilely back LOL
the dance floor was SO INTENSE LOL. i’m not cool so i didn’t know the songs that well but people were like GOING AT IT yellin lyrics grindin on each other. i just like danced through it every time i moved rooms LOL whoo cannot match that energy but wish i could
whenever we went outside there were some dope conversations going on. a decent amount of tino people came thru, and it was nice seeing the homies again. n_ic_k and i r actually bffs now hehe. he was rolling for the first time in a year and i would see him every once in a while and he’d update me w how he was feeling. i’d be like u good homie :) LOL
this dude named con_over was fuckin lit at talking and really knew bay area culture. you could tell he’d hung out w a ton of different people, and he was really quick. he was talking to g_abe about like armenian people in the bay, and like competitive hs kids at lynbrook, about p flo LMAO yknow
later when we were chilling outside i told him he should stream LOLOL and actually he’s like decent at gaming although he doesnt make it his whole life. i was vibin w the group convo tho and then he engaged me in like side convo about video games and kinda awk but when he asked me about like how much i play and stuff i was like eh i dont really wanna talk about video games rn. and then he like clarified and asked again and i was like nah i just dont really wanna talk about video games rn. cause i just wanted to rejoin the main group but is whateva
ok now talkin bout a few things myself. i realized what dfeng meant when he said i didn’t know how to chill. i know how to be an active participant, and even a passive participant, but i never just chill LOL but yesterday was perfect for just chillin and absorbin the vibes. i think that’s literally the most i’ve just chilled at a party LOL imma do that more bc uhhh why not lol. go w the flow.
also edibles r my fave at a party. i feel really chill and like ok w everything.
i also tried like coming up w really good group questions when the timing was right and there was the slightest lull in convo. it was pretty great LMAO and i love asking shit like that. like if there was a coin and one side was $50 million, and the other side was aids... would you flip it LOL i love when people have strong answers and go off LOLOL
i also love like side vibin w randos. if theres a vibe i appreciate ill let u know yknow LOLOL one guy was goin off about how cereal was a soup and i was like u got some wisdom to share and he was like meaningfully nods LOLOL
i think i should leave a little earlier? idk lol i think i left at a perfect time but shit just happened to go down (three people helping someone yakking outside). my only regret is like being kinda rude to con_over and then not helping that person outside. i shouldve just checked in instead of being weird about it and just leaving. luckily con_over is cool and was like have a nice night LOLOL. i also missed saying goodbye to amar_is since he went to help out w vomiting dood
also lowkey everyone at the party who knew me hyped me up and was like THIS IS THE MEME QUEEN LOOOOL i was like .oh god.. but its my legacy tho (◡‿◡✿) everybody at the office apparently still talks about me all the time like i’m still there heart heart. i’m so glad i got the opporunity to be editor in chief. and i’m also so glad that la voz only continues to grow and be even more amazing. my office was like i love everyone!! lets have a fun time. and then it was like. we are legitimizing journalism. this program will train you. *intense voice* but i love it. and chr_istian is totally gonna do an amazing job. he knows how to be serious and connect w everyone. i gave him my blessing LOL he’s gonna be amazing.
i liked really talking to a_na, cause i hadn’t before. and anna (different person) was great LOL she knew how to be the life of the party and had an amazing laugh.
one dude j_osh was MY MAN LOL he literally went around the party w alc and his goal was to make sure everyone got fucked up. it was amazing i loved him. i wanna be that guy too LOLOL. whenever i saw him making rounds in whatever room i was in i’d be like my man LOLOL and he’d do the bro nod and smile
i really liked everyone there. none of the guys were weird at all. nobody was shady. everyone was nice and out here to have a good time, get a lil turnt, make new friends, maybe share some wisdoms.
just mah reflections. i wanna say bye to everyone when possible!! always check in on fucked up people. chill. ask fun questions. wish i did one crazy, memorable thing but there’s always next time LOLOL
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the time i went to reno to see phoenix (dec 8 2017)
I traveled 4 hours to Reno to see Phoenix last Friday! It was incredible and I stayed afterwards to meet the band in the freezing cold.
under the cut are all the great moments that happened with random small details and fangirling (if you want to skip some parts i included headers, but meeting them was so amazing, also the last 3 paragraphs are the most important bc *sobbing CHRIS*)
before the show
The morning of the show I walked around the casino looking for our boys and I actually did see them! Thomas, Chris, Thomas H, and Rob were eating breakfast in the restaurant/cafe. I didn't really want to interrupt or wait around so I kind of just watched them from afar briefly and saw Thomas eat french toast haha (whoops was this more creepy).
I was in line about 3.5 hours before doors opened. Getting front row was very promising. 15 minutes before the doors opened, Thomas, Branco, Deck, and Chris left the venue and were heading out (to what I assume was towards the restaurants in the casino) and they were so cute. We (waiting in line) were all dying and waving at them and they responded by winking (Deck), hand gestures (Branco), and big waving (Thomas and Chris).
the show
I chose to stand between Deck and Chris after lots of internal debates with myself (and chats with feenix friends, shout out for helping me make a decision yu know who y’all are!! ty!!).
The show was SO GOOD. These boys were ON FIRE. I’m really happy the crowd was into it as well (the show strangely did not sell out..). Thomas said they specifically asked to play Reno because last time they were here it was great. The boys looked super happy onstage. TOO YOUNG WAS PLAYED IN FULL!!! God it was the best. And also Rally!! I love hearing the INBLT songs live. I also jammed so hard to Sunskrupt! because what an instrumental masterpiece and also hello to Branco marches and shuffles (what a combination of cute and awkward ok). They also had a disco ball for If I Ever Feel Better and IT JUST MADE THE EXPERIENCE EVEN COOLER. Thomas introduced the disco ball and then stayed with the crowd for the song. It was so fun.
After the main set, Chris comes back on stage with an Anchor steam beer in hand (yee Anchor brewing man, heh unnecessary detail). Goodbye Soleil. GOSH. It was so beautiful. Thomas was right in front of me and everything was just magical. The arm waves in Fior di Latte was magical too. what a vibe. And ti amo reprise! Finally, to experience the reprise and crowd surfing. It was so much fun and I touched him heh.
Chris was smiling, dancing, and occasionally singing all night long, he was SO precious. precioussss. We made eye contact several times throughout the night (I love that he smiles right back I love him what a happy lil bird). Deck had a lot of fun interactions with Chris all night and he made funny faces and did his spider legs pose too hahah. Thomas was so cool with the crowd and looked so nice. Branco was so cute in his lil corner with his tinted ray bans and blue shirt and levis. I live for his marches and shuffles and his freeze in FSD. I made eye contact with all of them throughout the night and it was so magical.
actually meeting feenix!!!!
After the show, I went outside (in a freezing ass temperature of 24°F) to where their buses were parked and all I had seen was the crew packing everything away. There was no one else waiting, so I kind of wandered around, before deciding to stand in a spot where I could see the bus under a light.
DECK!!
I saw someone store their suitcase away and bring a bag inside the bus. Shortly, they get off the bus and start walking towards me. I realize finally it’s Deck (it was dark where he was coming from)!! He was so polite and friendly, I was not prepared so I had to dig for my sharpie and entertainment single (it’s one of my favorites!). He took a look at it and was saying it’s kind of rare and and was surprised. I am a failure at socializing so I said all these dumb embarrassing things to him (deck im sorry) but I had him sign his pick (which I got when it was thrown off stage by the crew). (A young couple shows up at this point so they help to take a photo for me and hang around lol). He says the others are showering and if we waited we could see them. Before he returned back to the venue, he says, “You must be cold” and rubs my arm. (aaaah deckkkk)
THOMAS AND BRANCO!!
1 hour later (which felt like forever), I bumped into Matt the sound guy who tells me what bus and when they’d be leaving. About 15 minutes later, Thomas shows up all bundled up with a beanie and hood on, and Matt signals for us to come over. Thomas was so nice and also was saying how cold it was and thanked us for waiting. A moment later, Branco shows up wearing his grey hat aww (yu kno I love branco and hats!!) and I kind of just go to him because (hello!! its my boy!! I wanted to cry bc last time at BFD I was so close to meeting him) it’s Brancoooo. He was saying, “It’s so cold! eh, it’s so cold!” and for some reason in person he sounds even more french???? (its wild??? he sounds so nice tho). He was so adorable ok and I asked for a photo and he tells Thomas (who is talking to the couple and just gets interrupted ohmygod B!!) to be in the photo. (And then Branco is like, “Get in the middle!!” and I love that he basically arranged the photo op for me). He was so smiley. Thomas was so gentle and adorable. After they put their stuff in the bus, they kept waving goodbye~~
CHRIS (AND DECK AGAIN)!!
Another 5-10 minutes go by before Chris finally shows up with Deck! (Now I am the only one waiting.) Chris has a togo/leftover box of food in his hand (i could not have expected anything less, bc chris x food) and as I approach him and say hi, he says in the most cheery voice, “I remember you, you knew all the lyrics!” He was SO sweet, he handed the box to Deck and signed my single sleeve. As he’s handing it back to me, he observes my sweater and starts talking about it and Deck joins in as well lmao. Chris kept asking what brand it was and talking about the pattern. It was too cute. I loved this moment. Chris mentions he has one with a very similar pattern that’s Lacoste (obvs, and mine is not). Before Deck leaves, he thanks me and gives me a hug!! (what!! i couldn't believe it).
I talked with Chris a little about the show and I walked with him to the bus. I ask him if they are coming back to SF next year (I asked everyone and they gave me different answers lol) and Chris said there might be something (perhaps private) and took down my email!! what!!! !!! W H A T. He then struggles to put his really long suitcase bag thing into the bus and drops some stuff and utters his classic “wah la la” and it was SO precious (I helped pick up his stuff). Near the end, I ask to take a photo with him and he scoots me towards the light with his hand on my shoulder (chrissss i wanted to cry). Unfortunately my dumb phone flashed (there was enough light come on man) and it caught him in mid-blink (but it’s ok bc this moment was so incredibly precious i will cherish it). He then gives me a great big hug and thanks me, speaking softly. GOD. what a moment. one i’ll remember forever. it was so sweet, so sincere and heartfelt. (yO i wanted to cry!!).
At this point I'm pretty sure Cedric opened the bus door trying to rush Chris in (they are so late leaving im so sorry) but Chris keeps talking to me and thanking me because without us, they would not be where they are today and i just wanted to cry HE IS TOO SWEET. A TRUE ANGEL. Chris is so generous and seriously what a wonderful human.
sorry this was so long i got v emotional and if you made it through i thank you!!
#christian mazzalai#laurent brancowitz#thomas mars#deck d'arcy#phoenix#phoenix in reno#yall i met them i cant believe#chris is the nicest human i love him#im sorry this was so long did anyone make it through#wearephoenix#me#my photo#branco#jess and the frenchie baguettes
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30 Days Writing Challenge
I just found this challenge on twitter and, well, i dont really have much things to do soooo here we go!!
DAY 1: its either im way too excited for things or idgaf at all, theres no in between. im socially awkward, especially around new people, but once you get to know me theres no way to stop me from talking! im a lil bit sarcastic and like to throw shades at people ehe and lastly, i love spilled tea but not spilling them #guilty
DAY 2: good music makeeeeeeessss me super happy, like literally it can set my mood for the day. i loveee cute animals, just looking at them makes me happy! and also mini-sized things makes me want to explode from happiness hehehe lastly, hugs and kisses
DAY 3: Bandung, June 22nd 2019. The place, the moment, the person. Everything was soooo perfect. We went to see Phum Viphurit and it was nothing less than amazing. The rough chair, the 8 hr trip, the sunset. We started to grow apart at that time, we both knew it but refused to talk about it. Joji’s Sanctuary just recently came out, he suddenly took out his earphones, plugged it to his phone, offered me the left piece, then he played the song. We were immersed in the song and lyrics and just enjoyed the sunset while sitting on the train.
DAY 4: Greece!!! UK!! Budapest!! Bandung!! Surabaya!! New York!! There are lot of places i want to visit but im in short of money soooooo yup :-)
DAY 5: They are doing pretty much good as parents. I mean they are not the best but also not the worst. I appreciate everything they’ve done for me and yeah im grateful to have them in my life even tho im not really fond of them, i guess?
DAY 6: Being single comes hand-in-hand with happiness. I mean, its literally the time and the chance for us to learn something new about ourselves. Being single means you are not tied down to do things that you dont want to do. Being single makes you realize that you are the ONLY one person that is responsible for your own happiness. Dont let other people define your happiness!!! lol this literally is something that i write for myself.
DAY 7: Cant pick one. I loveeeeeee romance comedy movies. Cheesy, i know. My favorites are the eternal sunshine of the spotless mind, 500 days of summer, hes just not that into you, love actually, bridget jones’ diary, music&lyrics. I also love shrek the third, idk why i just love it, watched it hundreds time. The emperor’s new groove also my fav. Ghiblis’ movies are awesome too!! Spirited away, howl’s moving castle, the wind rises, and ocean waves are so so so so goodddd!! Oh and i also love Lalaland, The King’s Speech, theory of everything, the danish girl, and the imitation game.
DAY 8: Music is soooooooooo powerful!!!! I mean it. It really is powerful, well, at least for me. You know that feeling when you just found a really good song that somehow relates to you??? Music makes you feel things. I guess its just how art works? They make you feel things? Oh and also, music is the closest thing to time machine right now. See? Music, well, art in general can transport you!!
DAY 9: Happiness is def something that you need to earn by yourself. You cant just depend your happiness on someone/something else. Happiness is different for everyone, just try to find the meaning of YOUR happiness and go for it. Well, im still struggling to find my own happiness tho but lets just keep trying, shall we?
DAY 10: I dont really have that much of friend tbh but you know what they say, quality over quantity. My best friends are literally the main reason why im still here. They mean the whole world to me.
DAY 11: There’s nothing much to say about my sibling if im being honest. My sister lives in Jkt with her husband and her kids. My brother is autistic. I love my brother to death and will do anything for him. Thats all.
DAY 12: I LOVEEEEEE TV SERIES HAHAHAHA. From the good ones, to the shitty ones. Some of my favorites are modern family, the good place, brooklyn 99, stranger things, how to get away from murder, next in fashion, the amazing world of gumball, andddd i suddenly cant remember anything else
DAY 13: I dont really read books a lot, but one of my favorites is Norwegian Wood. Its just soooooo beautifully written. You can feel the love, the pain, the warmth, you can feel everything through Haruki Mukami’s words.
DAY 14: Im not the most stylish person you will ever meet. I wear similar things everyday. Neutral colors paired with culottes and sandals or sneakers. Thats it. I actually love colors but not confident enough to wear it.
DAY 15: New York or London. I dont know, i’ve always admired busy places. Cities filled with busy people doing their own thing. No one gives a fuck about what you do. Busy places make you think no matter how shitty your day is, there will always be tomorrow.
DAY 16: we used to do everything together. we used to talk for hours about everything. we used to share our favorite songs to each other. we used to laugh at our own stupid jokes. we used to go to music gigs together. we used to watch movies together. not sure if he is the one that im missing or is it just the memories? the time that we spent together was beautiful. its kinda funny to think now that we act like a stranger to each other but yeah time changes people. he was my first everything. sometimes i wonder what would happen if we’re still together to this day, would i be happier? or would i suffer more? this may sound ridiculous, but what we had was as beautiful as lyrics in songs, melodies in musics, colors in paintings. ewwwww this is sooo cringe worthy lol okay i’ll stop.
DAY 17: im so attracted to funny guys i dont know why lol i love guys who can make me laugh. i also love a guy who knows what hes doing. Guys with knowledge also turn me on lol oh and im sooo into guys with glasses.
DAY 18: 1. My full name is Bernadetha Sari Jasmine, 2. I was born in September 21st 1998, 3. I’m a middle child, 4. I’m socially awkward, 5. I literally overthink about everything, 6. I have low self-esteem, sad i know, 7. I’m majoring in Industrial Engineering, 8. I always speak the truth, 9. I’m loyal, 10. i love listening to musics, 11. i respect art, 12. i love the magic of cooking, 13. im an introvert, 14. i get shy around people im not close with, 15. im slow witted, 16. im detail oriented, 17. i know everything i want to know, 18. i wear glasses, 19. im the-go-with-the-flow kind of person, 20. i dont know what i want to do with my life, 21. i used to date a guy for 8 years straight lol, 22. i wear braces for 10 years (and still counting), 23. i hate dramas thus i always try to avoid it, 24. im a hopeless romantic, 25. im a pessimist, 26. i love ayam geprek so much!!! 27. i love buildings, 28. i also love the sound of the road when we drive around the city, 29. i daydream a lot, 30. i live in my own fantasy.
DAY 19: just read my writing for day 16
I think thats it for now, im getting tired lol prob going to continue this at some other time sooo see you!
#challenge#writing#writingchallenge#30days#30 days challenge#music#hobby#love#relationship#life#covid#covid 19#virus#pandemic#stay at home#stayathome#stay safe#staysafe
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