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#even just last year me would've fallen into despair over everything going on
heavenlyeros · 11 months
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lion sprout !
(i made this ages ago and didn’t get to post it before the end of spring . . . i have a lovely neighbour who keeps the most beautiful little garden. she is in her 90s and very inspiring. i like to watch her tend to her rose bushes from my window. i’ve been trying to hang out with her more frequently. it sparks joy and i love hearing her talk about her plants.   i hope she finds the company enjoyable too...   i am teaching her about succulents, which is the only kind of plant i can claim any sort of expertise on. i have a few baby ones to gift her once they get a little stronger. i originally made lion sprout for her, she has one she can hang in the garden)
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loversoon · 5 years
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Almost Is Never Enough (Part Two)
Hello! Thank you for the lovely feedback, I appreciated it a lot! AINE was supposed to only be a one part fic but some of you guys asked me to make a part two, so I decided to create different alternative endings! These endings will be fluffy and angsty. I hope you enjoy! :)
Pairing: Roger Taylor & Reader, can also be Ben Hardy!Roger Taylor & Reader
Total word count: 3,587
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ALTERNATIVE ENDING ONE, FLUFF AND ANGST:
Perhaps it was the hot sunny weather that pushed Y/N to grab her purse and head down the street. It's very rare for sunny weathers to occur in a dreary and cold place like London and whenever the Earth blessed them with hot rays of sunshine instead of raindrops pattering, she liked to take advantage of it.
The past six months were much of a blur to her. All she can remember all throughout the moments she spent inside her abode were unstoppable tears rolling down her cheeks as a sign of her seemingly never ending misery. The sadness she felt during those times were unbearable, and she was glad that she was able to win against the pit of darkness that lured her in.
To say it wasn't a challenge is an understatement. During those times all she could ever think about is how everything could have went down if she chose to handle things differently. What could have happened if she stayed there instead of walking out? What could have happened if she just let him talk it out? Maybe they still would've worked, maybe he could be right in her life. Now that she looks back to those days, she found herself cringing at her own naïvety.
Looking down as she walked across the breezy streets, which was always a habit of her. Counting down steps until she reached her local bookstore. Right as she stumbles up the dark oak steps of the old building, a familiar voice caught her off-guard.
The same voice that belonged to a man she promised herself never to be crushed by again. The same man that caused her the emotions she felt for the last few months. The same man that even after everything he's done to her, she finds herself back to square one right as she locks eyes with him.
There he stands right across her, the long blonde locks she once used to love running her fingers through, were traded in for a shorter haircut, a bit matted. The same blue eyes she's fallen in love with years ago are duller, greyer.
The moment he set his gaze on her, his eyes widened. A pretty pink tea dress adorned her figure, hair lighter and shorter than they were a few months ago. She was glowing, her cheeks spotted a tinge of baby pink, a silver necklace adorned her pretty neck and rings hugged her dainty fingers. She looked absolutely breathtaking, and to see her moving forward with her life so frivolously easy, was sending him a wave of relief.
The night she walked out was unknowingly the worst night of his life. He sighed and pushed himself up the mahogany staircase of their shared home.
It was his decision, he told her he wasn't happy and that's how he felt. But why is it that he feels hurt? He feels mentally impaired whenever he thinks back to the night that ended it all. He resorted to late nights at different pubs, slurred words, one night lovers and pounding hangover headaches. Eventually, he's had enough. The damage was done, he's just successfully broke something that was going good for him, and it was all of his doing. It wasn't ideal, to lose someone you love so dearly without even fighting to get them back, he's learned that the hard way. But as each month passed by, he learn and let go, the same way she learned to forgive and forget.
As the two of the past lovers locked eyes for the first time in the longest time, everything felt at peace. The birds were chirping, the sun was beaming down beautifully, almost as if it was highlighting this moment.
Y/N gave him a small smile, alerting him to give one back. Giving him another look, she pushed the library's door open and let herself in. Roger stared at where his past lover once stood, a smile finding it's way to his lips as he felt the sweetness that she always radiated.
And for the first time in the longest time, they slept with ease. Thoughts rid themselves as both of them slept in separate beds.
Maybe they weren't given the ending that they wanted, where they would roam free as two lovers who just longed to love each other, but it was the universe's way of giving them their happily every after.
WORDS: 735
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ALTERNATIVE ENDING TWO, ANGST:
Having had enough of the stuffiness of her dark living room, Y/N decides that she's finally going to face the world back again. For the past two months all she's ever done was mourn over the loss of her one true love.
When she found him that day, something told her that she found her person, the one person that would never cease to love her less. It was a beautiful, enchanting and winsome feeling that settled in her heart when her eyes first met his.
Paranoia and what ifs were what filled her mind during the last few months, unable to concentrate on anything else but the unbearable feeling of melancholy, the once bright girl turned low-spirited. In hopes to find herself and her happiness once again, she pushed herself off her couch and trampled in her bathroom.
As the glass fogged from the temperature and as the warm pellets of the shower hit her body, thoughts raced through her mind like they always do. What could go wrong tonight? She found herself asking. In hopes to cheer herself up once again, she decided to head down to an exquisite pub a few blocks down the street. Where the lights are dim, she can easily blame glum aura that adorned her face on the lack of better lighting. Find herself a good fuck and satisfy her needs, then go home to a dark house and drown in her despair once again.
Stepping out of the warm shower and getting hit by a cold bust of air, she shivers and wraps herself in a towel. As she stared at her reflection, she took in the appearance of the girl in front of her. The signature sparkle she had was gone, replaced with sheer gloominess. Having finally realized what she's been doing to herself, tears pooled at her eyes. Taking a deep breath in hopes to pull herself together, she began her skin care before moving on to putting make up on.
Covering the dark circles under her eyes, the paleness of her face from being kept inside for so long and coating the once chapped and dry lips with a bright fiery red. At least she can pretend that she's doing well, cover her heartache and her grief. Stumbling back into her bedroom, she puts on the navy blue body con dress that she has chosen to wear for her night out, grabbing a purse and stuffing it with a few mints and her wallet before putting on her most exquisite pair of shoes and heading out the door.
The pub was packed, probably because it was a Friday evening. Bodies clashing against each other, she tried her best to squeeze her way in and hop on a barstool.
Her plan for tonight was simple. She wanted to get drunk, find a good lay and head off for the night. With a pretty dress and expensive heels on, she found herself almost unstoppable, as if the world was at her feet. Confidence seeping it's way into her, she sat on the high stool and tapped the shoulder of the guy sitting next to her.
Clad in a black shirt, the pretty brunette set his brown eyes on the girl in front of him. Y/N smiled flirtatiously, earning a smirk from the man as he moved his body to face her's.
"Scotch for the lady," He signalled the bartender, earning a nod. Y/N giggles, "How'd you know?" She smirked, the man chuckled warmly, "You look like you could use one." He smiled at her. Y/N's face dropped as she looked down, "Been a rough couple of weeks," she explained, "It's okay, love. We're on the same boat," the man spoke gently.
Words seemed to flow between them, conversations ranging from one to another. The man, who she learned was named Kurt, spoke to her about different topics. From his career to the stars, to what could possibly be out there. Entertained with the way he spoke, Y/N found herself receiving the fun she wanted herself to have.
Right about thirty minutes of solid conversation, Kurt excused himself to go to the loo, claiming he'd been holding it in for a pretty long time and earning a small giggle from Y/N as she shooed him away.
Taking a sip from the forgotten Margarita set in front of her, she casted her eyes around the room. So lost in their conversations that she never noticed the pair of eyes that settled on her throughout the night, or better yet, four. She took in her surroundings, the neon lights flashing as music boomed from loud speakers. Taking another sip, she casted her eyes on a pair of baby blues. In that moment, it was as if time stopped, the music froze and the lights brightened. All that ever registered in her mind were the pair of ocean blue eyes that she dreaded to see for the past two months.
Roger Taylor in all his glory sat across on a velvet blue couch. Two ladies draped across his chest, a brunette and a blonde. As his eyes met hers, they widened slightly.
It was a fun night out, having finished the album without recklessly murdering each other, the band decided to celebrate in one of the more exclusive clubs downtown. Sat on a velvet plush couch, Roger's eyes roamed around the room for a potential lay, someone that looks like a good fuck, when his eyes dropped on her. In a tight dress she sat with her legs crossed, seemingly enjoying her conversation with a man. The green poison of jealousy coursed through his veins as he watched her endlessly laugh at a joke that probably isn't funny.
When the rest of the lads realized that Roger's attention was set on one part of the dimly lit club, they casted their eyes on Y/N. Brian's eyes widened slightly as he looked back at Roger, sitting tensely with furrowed eyebrows and a clenched jaw.
"Roger, no," John exclaimed when his friend started standing up and walking over to where his past lover resides, palm on his chest in hopes to keep him from waking towards her and causing a scene.
"Leave me be, John," He glared at his friend, Brian quickly stood up and pushed him back to his seat as Freddie watched all three in amusement. "She's doing well, Rog. Just let her be," Freddie exclaims as he trails his eyes to Y/N. Glowing under the pale white light of the bar, pearly whites showing as she genuinely looked like she was having a great time.
Roger kept silent. The rest of them keeping a stern eye on whatever action he omits. Minutes passed by and with even two beautiful ladies talking him up in hopes for him to take one or even both of them home, he still can't keep his attention away from her.
The way her cheeks glowed, her hair flowed and what her smile showed, she was doing better without him. The way the man is making her crack up the same way he used to, the way he's making her blush fuelled a dark green fire inside him.
When the man stood up seemingly excusing himself, she took a sip from her drink as her eyes roamed the room, when they met his, they lingered. A shiver went down his spine at the warm look in her eyes, when they lingered for longer than ten seconds, he quickly excused himself and towered over to her. The rest of the boys cursed as they knew what he was about to do wouldn't end the way he wants it to.
Y/N panicked, looking down in hopes for him to think that he mistook her for someone else. Silently wishing and praying that Kurt would just hurry up and come back to her before Roger does.
When she heard her name being called by a familiar voice, her heart dropped in the pits of her stomach. Her night wasn't supposed to end like this, wasn't supposed to end up with her seeing the person she dreaded to see and her heart breaking into a million pieces when she was working on fixing it. Tears pooled in her eyes when she felt him slide in the stool next to her, stirring her drink slightly in hopes that she's just dreaming and none of this is actually happening.
"Y/N." He spoke softly, hoping he would get to talk things out with her. The pub became weirdly silent, even though speakers were booming at full volume and people were talking loudly, it still felt eerily quiet. "Love," He spoke once again, when a response didn't make it's way out of her mouth, he opened his to say another word before immediately being cut off by a deeper and louder voice.
"Y/N, I'm back. Is he bothering you?" Kurt booms as he raised an eyebrow at Roger. That seemed to fuel something inside him as he glared back. When Kurt threateningly walked a step in Roger's direction, Y/N placed a hand on his chest to keep him away, "It's okay," she spoke briefly and softly before turning back to Roger. "Look, I really don't wanna speak about it okay?" She spoke in a pleading voice, eyes telling him to just leave her alone. But he wouldn't give up without a fight, not again.
"I just wanna talk-", "Look man, she said she didn't wanna talk to you, now did she?" Kurt booms once again. Something snapped inside Roger as anger coursed through his blood, a balled fist colliding with Kurt's cheekbone, definitely leaving him wounded.
At this point, the boys were making their way over. Several people's attentions were on the three of them as Y/N kneels down to console her friend. Tear after tear sprung from her eyes, this wasn't how she wanted this night to go. Brian held Roger back as Freddie laid a hand on his shoulder, John helping Y/N pull Kurt up and on the barstool.
"Rog, I don't wanna see you ever again okay? There's nothing left to talk out, just leave me be." She sobbed through blurry eyes as the tears she tried to keep at bay streamed down her cheeks. Roger's heart broke at the words that left her mouth.
When he realized the mistake he made that night, he put it off, blindly hoping that she'd make her way back to him like every argument they would have. But when he realized the words he spoke to her, sorrow burst through his heart. When the words she spoke made it's way to his ears, it felt as if someone jabbed a knife at his heart and stabbed him countless of times, the pain and the stinging of his words squeezing his heart in a way he couldn't describe in words. His own tears filled his eyes as he watched her give him one last look before draping a hand around the man's neck and making her way out of the club. Out of sight, out of his life.
WORDS: 1,864 (I got carried away whoops)
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ALTERNATIVE ENDING THREE, JUST PURE FLUFF:
The glass of red wine was enough to make her tipsy. Deciding to treat herself to a night out at her favorite Italian restaurant after a hard day's of work, she felt at peace knowing it was a Friday night and she had two days off. Already planning what she would make out of her free days, contentment filled her as she took another sip. A waitress came over with a slice of cake, confusion filled her as she tried to rack her brain, of when she ordered a slice of cake. The waitress, who seemed to have notice her confusion, let out a light chuckle before placing the plate down.
"Came from that handsome young man over there, said to bring you a slice of cake. Don't worry darling, it's on his bill." Her eyes trailed to the direction the waitress' finger led to, eyes locking with a pair of sky blues she hasn't made contact with in over three years. She thanked the waitress, looking back to see him walking over to her table.
Sitting across her, Roger smirked at the surprise that laid across her features. Eyes wide as she tried to process if she was really seeing him or if she was going crazy. "Hi," He spoke with a light grin on his face, the little greeting seemed to snap Y/N out of her daze as a tiny smirk made it's way on her cherry red lips.
"Hello, Roger," She uttered. Her response gained her a light chuckle from him. He looked delectable, his once long blonde hair was traded for a trendy mullet, sporting a white button up and a leather jacket with a pair of dark Ray Bans hanging off the pocket. He looked simply appetizing. While she was trying to process him, his eyes roamed her figure. Clad in a red tea dress that showed enough cleavage, hair curled slightly and a bit of makeup colored her lids.
“Long time no see, love,” He spoke. The look in her eyes was fiery, a hint of admiration and want, sprinkled with lust and desire. “How are you?” She asked, leaning closer to the table, “I’ve been doing well, how about you?” He asks, placing his hands on the table. She smiles at him, taking a sip from the glass of wine before licking her lips clean, something she knew made her irresistible in his eyes.
They stared at each other before she motioned for the bill. As the bill was placed on the table, she began reaching for her purse before a voice stopped her, “It’s on me love,” and before she can protest, he already placed a large amount of money, handing the bill back to the waitress with a grateful smile. “You really didn’t have to do that,” She exclaims, “I wanted to, besides, treat this as a date,” He replied as he stood up after her, helping her putting the warm leather coat back on her shoulders.
Her earrings shone in the restaurant’s light, she pulled her hair back, revealing the part of her skin he practically found irresistible. “Thank you for the dinner, Rog. I’ll hail a cab,” she warmly smiles at him, his brows furrowed, “There’s no way in hell I’m gonna leave you with a can when I’m fully capable of driving you home,” he replies, hand comfortable slipping to the small of her waist out of pure instinct as he leads her to his black convertible. “No way in hell, huh?” She teases with a small smile on her face as he opens the passenger’s side for her, “No way in hell I’m leaving you, love,” His response caught her off-guard, promptly closing the door before jogging back to the driver’s side.
It was crazy to think of the amount of time that passed by with neither of them beside each other, and when they found themselves back again, it was as if even a smidgen of the time they spent apart never existed. Also crazy how easy they’d fallen back in each other’s arms again, crazy how not even an hour ago, they were strangers with a past.
Silence engulfed them as the car accelerated, soft and gentle hums escaping his mouth and he carefully sped down the road. It wasn’t an awkward silence, considering the amount of time they spent together back in the old days, awkward silence was almost impossible.
Slowly driving in front of her flat, he opened his car door, rushing to open the passenger side and offering to walk her right up to the porch of her lovely abode. “Thank you for the dinner, Rog, I had a fun time catching up with you,” she softly smiled at him as she unlocked her front door, “I had a fun time too... I...” He trailed of, unsure whether or not he should spit out what he’s been dying to tell her all night. She raised a brow, as if telling him to continue, “I was wondering if you... you wanted to grab breakfast with me? If you want to of course, if not it’s-“ his rambling was cut off by a pair of soft lips clashing against his own, “Pick me up at eight,” she winked, “Good night, Rog.”
The feeing of her lips against his own was magical. Fireworks going off as hers clashed against his, excitement filled his bones as he grinned widely, muttering a silent thank you to the lords before grazing his lips with his hand. Slipping into his car, he drove off with a newfound hope.
And from the living room windows, she watched him drive off as delight filled her. A wide grin adorned her lips as she thought of him once more. The universe has a funny way of bringing true soulmates together, of giving them their happily ever after like in the fairytales, in the movies and in the books.
WORDS: 988
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makramarenco · 4 years
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The way he looks at you
https://archiveofourown.org/works/14863772
It was nearing midnight and he was at a shitty 24h supermarket in the middle of NY waiting in line to buy some shitty beer to take back to the apartment. And if the kid that was before him could decide soon what kind of candy bar he would take his girlfriend, well, that would've been great.
The cashier looked almost as bored and done as he himself felt and Chandler could only begin to imagine what must have been like to work in that place at those hours. After what felt like hours he got to pay for the beer and an impulsively chosen chocolate bar, and went outside into the cold mid February air.
The store was more block aways from the apartment than Chandler would have liked, but hey, when your roommate is apparently so good at sex that he is making the girl of the week cry out his name over and over while you are trying to sleep and can hear everything because of the paper thin walls, well, there’s only so many things you can do.
So there he was, walking back home, hoping they were finally over with their porn sounding sex so he could just go to sleep and pretend the next morning that he was not hopelessly gay and disgustingly in love with said roommate.
The streets were obviously empty, freshly fallen snow laying over everything and he tried to avoid slipping and falling.
It took about ten minutes before he was climbing the stairs and opening the door to a, oh thank god, silent apartment. He was just setting the beers into the almost empty fridge, thanks Joe, when said guy walked out of the bathroom. Shirtless. With sex rumpled hair. Yawning like a newborn kitten. And Chandler was so gone and so fucked up.
“Hey man! I thought you were asleep!” The good mood was evident in Joey’s voice despite the sleepiness.
“Oh yeah, like I could’ve gotten any sleep while I kept hearing everything through this damn walls”
Joey’s eyes went wide and second latter where filled with guilt.
“Oh man, I’m so sorry, didn't mean to wake you up!” He paused for a second before his eyes were filled with pride “But I have to say that to make a woman scream like that you have to be a natural my friend”
And just like that Chandler was done with the situation.
“Yeah, okay Joe, congrats, I’m just gonna go to bed now”
And it seemed like Joey was about to say something, something flickering on his eyes that Chandler couldn't quite put his finger on, but let it go, a small smile grazing his lips.
“Yeah, okay, good night man”
So he just stepped into his bedroom, pulled off the hoodie he had thrown over his pajamas before going out and fell face first groaning into the unmade bed.
He could've woken up to the usual singing man that lived across the window in the other building, but instead it was the sweet laughter of a girl in the other room that ripped Chandler out of his dreamland.
He grumpily pulled the sheets away, the chilly air making him shiver slightly before he padded to the door, opening it slowly, in hopes that the couple outside wouldn't notice him.
Of course that plan quickly failed when Joey spotted him and his face broke into a huge smile. Chandler felt his heart miss a beat and tried to smile back, knowing fully well he hadn't achieved it. He knew, though, that as it was a Saturday, Joey had no auditions, which meant today he wasn't making pancakes and sending the girl on her way. And nothing could cheer him up more than that, cause that way he didn't have to deal with jealousy and pity for the woman.
Once he was out of the bathroom, he quickly made his way to the door, not bothering with saying hi. Joey though, was not amused by this and grabbed his arm before he could even open said door.
“Hey Chandler, good morning, nice to see you, slept well?” Sarcasm dripping from his voice. He dropped quickly enough though, something like hope stirring in his eyes “You’re not staying? I wanted you to meet Laura, she’s new to town and I was hoping we could all go to have coffee with her so I could introduce her to everyone”
And wait, what?! What on earth was going on? Joey did not introduced girls to the group and he most certainly never looked this eager for everyone to meet someone.
It must have shown in his face, since Joey was immediately pulling him along to his bedroom so they could talk.
Chandler didn't even had to say anything, his expression communicating everything he needed.
“Look Chandler, I know it’s weird since I never do this, but I really really like her. She’s funny, she’s smart but not too much and she has a great body” and of course that came with a goofy smile and some obscene hand gestures. As he got no reaction from his friend, that was still gaping at him by the way, he sighed “Dude, come on, it would mean so mucho to me if you could just approved this, you know your opinion means a lot to me”
And maybe it was that or the doe eyes that got Chandler out of his trance. He wished his features to stay neutral, knowing well enough that he was usually way too expressive.
“Yeah, okay, I’m sorry, I was just really shocked. Cause it’s shocking Joe, I never expected this from you… But sure, you have my blessing, I would never get in the way of you happiness man” And just as he began panicking that he had said too much, that Joey was so gonna be able to figure it out, since he was not nearly as stupid as people thought, his friend gave him a beaming smile and jumped forward to hug him.
So Chandler just melted into the arms of his best friend, forced down the jealousy bubbling in his throat and wished his feeling aways, not for the first time.
Afterwards, he excused himself saying he was starving and only Monica’s food would be able to tame the hunger inside of him and escaped the apartment before he did something stupid. And he felt the need to hide in some dark, far far away corner of the world and cry his heart out cause he just knew he would never get a chance with the man at the other side of the door, well, no one needed to know.
And as he was just so bad at hiding his emotions that as soon as he stepped into Monica’s and the two girls living there took one look at him, they were immediately fussing over him.
“Oh my god, Chandler, you look as if someone had killed a puppy in front of you” And that was just great, cause now he was picturing that and it did nothing to help his mood.
“Come on honey, we have some nice breakfast that will cheer you up, right Mon?”
Said girl was in a blink of an eye rushing to prepare the tastiest and most mouth watering breakfast that could exist in the gang’s opinion, but the blue eyed man was so under the weather that he just slumped down into a chair and willed he could just sunk into hell.
And yeah, he was being dramatic, but it was just like him to blow things out of proportion and sulk about it.
He was soon playing with delicious food, not really being sure if he could actually stomach it.
And the more he played, the more restless Monica and Rachel seemed.
“Chandler? Honey? Can you just please tell us what happened? We’re dying here” And he could clearly recognize the desperation in Monica’s voice. But he was just unable to voice out his feeling, his most well kept secret. Or at least that was what he wanted to think.
He slumped into himself even more.
“Is it about your feeling for Joey?” And the question was just so innocent, Rachel not even realizing the weight of her words.
But Chandler just froze.
He could barely catch Monica and Rachel arguing in harsh whispers, but he was too caught up in his panic to really hear was they were saying.
“Chandler? Chandler! Please, I’m sorry, I didn’t want to throw it on you like that, I’m just worried! Please say something” And now Rachel’s voice was full of despair too and he just felt horrible.
He willed his voice to work, clearing his throat about a hundred times before being able to actually form words that came out raspy and full of raw emotions anyways.
“You… You know? About my… preferences?” And he cringed internally at how formal that sounded but he couldn't found it in him to say the word just then.
The silence was oppressing even when it lasted just a few seconds for them to get over their surprise. Cause they thought Chandler would freak out about they knowing about his feeling for his best friend, not about the fact that they knew from day one about his sexual orientation.
“Oh my god honey, you were worried about that?” Rachel was the first one to find her voice.
“Chandler, we have known you for years, and sure, Ross and Joey obviously have no idea, but we’re girls, we know about this things, call it sixth sense or whatever” Monica smiled in that encouraging way of hers, while Rachel’s smile was sweet and supporting and suddenly Chandler didn't feel as alone and hopeless as he had mere second ago.
“Well in that case… I’m not even gonna ask how do you guys know about Joey, honestly. But yeah, it’s about him…” He sighted while fidgeting with the table cloth “He… he met this girl that is new to town and they hit it off and he’s apparently halfway in love with her and wants us all to meet her… I mean, he never does that! For all I know they will get married tomorrow as Emily and Ross did and I will be forced to be the best man cause I’m his best friend and can’t say no to those freaking puppy eyes of his and I will end up alone and with a broken gay heart…”
He didn’t even care that for the first time in his life he had openly recognized he was gay out loud. He was now picturing all of those things happening and the simple thought made him want to throw himself from the balcony.
He wasn't aware of the looks Monica and Rachel were sharing, having a whole conversation without saying words. The brunette was the first one to speak.
“Look, Chandler, I know it seems bad. But I assure you that Joey will not marry this girl, she won’t probably last more than a few weeks. None of us actually think Joey will get married with any girl at all. You know how he is. I know it might seem like a lot to endure, but you’ve made it this long, so have some faith in yourself…” She seemed doubtful about her next words, but one look to Rachel’s stern expression told her she should just tell their friend “And I know you might hate us for saying this and getting this idea into your head… but we really think you should tell Joey about how you feel”
Chandler’s head immediately went up, wide blue eyes staring at the two girls, and both of them were able to feel the scarred panicked feeling the man was suddenly surrounded by.
Rachel chose that moment to intervene before their friend went into full panicked mode, possibly close enough to a panic attack.
“Ok honey, listen to me. If you think for a second Joey will hate you, and feel repulsed and move out just because you are in love with him, you are so so wrong and he would probably feel insulted you think so lowly of him. He loves you Chan, doesn't matter how, but he would never let you hurt because of him, he’s way too good friend for that, and you are his best friend. How can you think he will react like that?” As she saw the panicked expression change into a doubtful one, she smiled softly, reaching for his hand and giving it a gentle squeeze “We just want you to consider it honey, it would make you feel so much better, independently from how it ends. We just want whats best for you”
And he believed her, but all Chandler could do was bury his head between his hands, willing his heart to believe what his friends had just said as well.
It was almost the sixth month after that dreadful morning and everything Chandler had predicted was becoming true.
Joey was dating Laura, that was as amazing as Joey had made it sound, which only helped Chandler sulk more and be even more unhappier. He still hadn’t said anything to Joey. Ross suspected there was something going on between his two male friends but was too oblivious to tell. Besides that, everyone acted as if nothing had changed.
Laura adapted real quick into their group, and even though the three girls were on Chandler’s side (Phoebe had expressed her support the same day the girls helped him by a “I knew it!” and a “I love you no matter what” followed by a hug) they all loved the red headed addition. Even Chandler himself, since the girl had amazing comebacks that dripped sarcasm 24/7 and her sense of humor mixed with his all too well.
So it all sucked, cause he couldn't even hate the woman. But he kept on sulking and suffering between the four walls of his bedroom while on the outside he was, or tried to be, the same Chandler everyone knew. Everything was fine.
Except suddenly it wasn't cause Joey intercepted him one morning before he could escape the apartment and do something useless to stay as far away as possible of said man, which had been his strategy since the fourth month.
“Chandler! Wait! I really need to talk to you about something” Oh man, he had been just so so close. And he knew what he had coming, he could see it in Joey’s posture “Look man… since this whole Laura thing started you have been really distant… And I know you like her, so I just can’t understand this? Is it me?” And there they were again, the huge doe/puppy like eyes that Chandler and basically anyone who knew the guy couldn't say no to.
“What? No! Joey, come on, you are my best friend! Why on earth would I be avoiding you?” Chandler knew there it was, the tone, as Joey used to call it. When he didn't actually believe something, or was lying, his voice would get high pitched. So when he saw his best friend’s eyebrow twitch, he knew his lie was not believable.
“Dude, please, just tell me!”
And, honestly, Chandler’s heart broke a little when he noticed how truly hurt Joey was. He could see it in those chocolate colored eyes that he usually fantasied about.
“Just… Look Joe, I’m sorry, okay? I know I’ve been distant, but I just… I can’t… I’m not able to tell you just why yet, sorry man” He awkwardly fidgeted with his hands, rubbing them together in that nervous way of his, avoiding at all costs Joey’s eyes.
He realized the exact moment the man gave up, since he seemed to slump into himself, a heavy sight escaping his mouth.
“Okay, yeah, it’s… it’s fine. I get it. Just… if there’s something wrong with me… with us, you would tell me, right?”
Blue eyes immediately met brown, wide with surprise.
“What, of course! I… this is not about you Joe, I swear. We’re okay”
A wide smile spread across his best friend’s features, his eyes crinkling in the corners and filled with happiness. He went for a quick hug before letting go but keeping both of his hands in Chandler’s shoulders.
“Oh god, that’s just, thanks man, I was just so worried! You are my best friend, you know? I can’t loose you, what would I do?!”
“Honestly Joe? Neither of us has a clue”
He received a light punch in his left arm by answer.
Turns out, the conversation he had with Joey was just a bad bad bad idea.
Cause, suddenly, as a bonding moment, the guy just decided to drag Chandler along to buy Laura’s sixth month anniversary present. And since they were that grossly sweet kind of couple, it had to be just ‘perfect’.
So there he was, being dragged along trough one big commercial avenue by the love of his life that was looking for a present to give the woman he was dating. The perfect situation. He was feeling just peachy.
What he had apparently missed, was that ‘perfect’ for Joey meant ‘Chandler approved’, which also meant his opinion was heavily considered in the moment of buying any kind of product. And he was just so not in the mood to give Joey’s selections much thought.
“Hey Chan, which kind of necklace do you think Laura would like the most?” In his hands Joey held two silver necklaces that were basically the same to the blue eyed man.
“I don’t… Do you, honest to God, think in college I studied how to choose jewelry for a woman? Cause I don’t really remember taking that subject” And maybe he should have seen it coming, but apparently that was the exact moment Joey had had enough.
“Sorry, I’ll come back to this later” His tone was polite while putting both pieces of jewelry back over the crystal counter and taking to the salesman that had been trying to help for the last twenty minutes or so. He then turned to Chandler, a displeased expression in his face “You. We are going home. And you’re telling me what the hell is going on”
And so they did. The shops they had been looking at were not that far from the apartment, so it took about ten minutes of Joey dragging Chandler before Joey was closing the door and turning to look at the blue eyed men, who was just looking everywhere to avoid eye contact.
“Chandler. You have one more second to tell me what’s going on with you before I actually start loosing my mind over this” And even under the angry tone, there was hurt and worry and Chandler just wanted to go into his room and cry his eyes out cause, honestly, how could there be a person more perfect in his eyes than Joey.
This was hurting him. He was so selfish, scared of what it would mean to him if he confessed his true feelings, not realizing he was hurting Joey in the process. The one person he had tried to keep safe. And it torn him apart, knowing that this might have been the last few moments of their friendship. But Rachel’s words came back to him and he found himself releasing a deep sigh before he reached out to take Joey’s hand and gently move both of them to the couch.
“Okay, okay, you are right, I should have told you before. I’m sorry, I’m just scared that what I’m about to tell you will completely ruin our friendship and that thought alone terrifies me…” And he was rambling, he knew that, but he had to brace himself before he could actually say the words.
“You… Chandler you are worrying over nothing. Nothing you could say to me would ruin our friendship, you are way too important for me to just let something get in the way of us”
And that sounded so much like something a lover would say. But it was ridiculous to think like that. Joey only meant it in a friendly way. He wasn't going down that road though.
He took a deep breath, finding Joey’s eyes but unable to keep the eye contact.
“Okay, here we go…” He fixed his gaze in his lap “I love you Joe”
Seeing as Joey didn’t immediately react, he started explaining himself even before the guy asked him for one explanation.
“And I mean it as in I am in love with you. Have been for as long as we’ve known each other. Maybe a little less. I’m not really one to believe in love at first sight, you know?” He laughed awkwardly, his gaze still fixed on the hem of his t-shirt that he has fidgeting with “But yeah. And that’s why I’v been trying to stay away. You love Laura, and she’s so so cool, everything I could never be. And I just want you to be happy, doesn’t matter if it kills me to see you with her. I just want to keep the smile you carry around when you look at her in your face forever. I never wanted to get in the way. And I’m so so sorry about the present. I couldn’t bring myself to help you get her something when, even though I really like her, I get jealous every time I see you two together cause I jusmmmmmphh…”
His speech was cut shortly by lips on his, his head being held into place by a hand in the back of his neck, while other cupped his cheek. Warm, soft, plump lips were pressed against his own with a rough edge that soon turned into a gentle pressure when he stopped trying to keep talking. He kissed back by reflex, his eyes closing while his hand went up to grab the wrist of the hand cupping his face, the other being used for support so he wouldn't fall off the couch because of the surprise.
It was only when he actually caught up to what was going on that he ripped himself away, watching Joey with wide eyes while his hand went up to touch his lips.
“Wha… You kissed me! Why did you kiss me?!” He was, most definitely, freaking out. His breathing became erratic and suddenly he felt like he was drowning.
Joey’s eyes went wide and he immediately went to cup both cheeks of Chandler’s face.
“Okay, no. You are so not having a panic attack just after we shared our first kiss. Breath Chan, I know you can do it” He obeyed, following his friend’s own breathing pattern and soon enough he felt like himself again. Once Joey realized this, he gently rested his forehead against Chandler’s, his hands not leaving his face.
They stayed like that a few seconds before Chandler pulled back.
“What are you doing? You were supposed to reject me, not kiss me Joe”
Said man’s eyebrows went up, eyes wide.
“What?! Why would I ever do that?! I’ve been pining over you for as long as you have!”
To say Chandler was speechless was to run short.
“I… I know I’ve been with my fair share of people, but it was only in the hope I could avoid and push down the feelings I have for you. Dude, I’ve been in love with you since forever. And Laura knows, you know? She was the first one to get it, she’s been trying to get over her own ex since we met. We were both trying to help each other… guess there’s no use to it now” That was finished with a small hopeful smile, soft eyes staring up at Chandler’s.
He spluttered unhelpfully.
“You are not even gay!” And oh man, was that the perfect thing to say.
Joey threw his head back while laughing.
“God, I love you but you are unbelievable. I’m bisexual, but I honestly don’t get why it matters”
If Chandler’s heart hadn't been to caught up in the confession coming from Joey, he would have argued, but he didn't have the mind for it.
“You… you love me?” And if the surprise and hope was way too obvious on his voice, who was he to care? He had spent way too many years pining, waiting, dreaming about this.
There was that look in Joey’s face, when his head tilted to the side and his whole face scrunched up in confusion, looking way too much like a confused puppy.
“Dude, come on! Keep up! That’s usually what ‘being in love with someone’ means!”
A nervous laughter bubbled from Chandler’s throat and soon enough he was finally relaxing into his best friend’s arm, burying his face in the crook f said man’s neck.
He felt like flying. Couldn't believe this was even happening. Joey loved him. He loved him back! He had waited his whole life for someone to love him, for his feeling not be unrequited, for someone, anyone, ideally a person from the male population, to accept him for who he was. And here it was, the best human being he had the luck to be best friends with, the one he had craved every single night since they met, the one he thought was just perfect, telling him he loved him too.
“What are you thinking about? I can feel your head overthink this” Joey’s voice pulled him out of his thoughts and he leaned back, letting his gaze roam freely over the handsome features of the other’s face like he hadn't allowed himself before.
“No, I just… I’m so happy” And the smile he gave was genuine, all soft edges and warm feelings.
Joey smiled too, beaming at him, before he leaned forward and pressed his lips against Chandler’s in a chaste kiss, before he pulled back, as if testing the waters. The blue eyed man didn't let him go far though, puling him in again to press their lips together for a longer period of time. He parted his lips experimentally, and was greatly surprised when Joey only hummed happily and deepened the kiss. Hands roamed, Joey’s hands settling one in Chandler’s surprisedly lean waist, pulling him closer, the other in the back of his neck, guiding his head gently while the other’s hand ended up one in Joey’s chest, the other around his ribs.
Soon enough they were fully making out laying across the couch, Chandler ending up between Joey’s legs, most of his weight over the brown eyed man’s chest. After a while, when the kisses turned to sleepy presses of lips, trailing across jaws and necks, just basking the warmth of the embrace. They ended up napping there, Chandler’s head against Joey’s chest, both heartbeats steady and calm.
And if they woke up giddy and happy and couldn't help but tell the others right away, no one really judged them, although he saw the way the three girls shared a look and looked proud of him.
The group was sitting at their usual place in the coffee house, with the exception that now Chandler and Joey sat together in the armchair that was too small to hold both men comfortably so it usually ended with Chandler sitting in Joey’s lap, leaning against him or the armrest.
They were casually talking about some nonsense like dinosaurs or Phoebe’s last ridiculous massage client when Joey starter mindlessly nibbling at Chandler’s throat, apparently done with the conversation and having nothing else to do.
He only rested more heavily against the other’s chest, sighting softly, not being able to continue being part of the conversation.
It was only when everyone turned to look at him expectantly that he realized they had been talking to him.
“Sorry, what was that?” He tried to straighten himself, but Joey’s arm around his waist kept him from doing so.
“Oh man, you guys are honest to god, ridiculous. It has been three fucking months! When will you be able to keep your hands to each other!” Ross complained loudly, obviously done with the situation.
Someone behind the sofa snickered softly.
“Well, I think they’re cute”
Everyone turned to the voice, meeting red hair and blue piercing eyes. A shorter brunette with soft hazel eyes and caramel skin close behind.
“Laura! Annie! We thought you wouldn't be back for another week!” Monica was immediately on her feet hugging the woman, followed by Rachel that seemed to squeeze the living hell out of the redhead.
So, it had been like this; Joey had broken up with Laura and Chandler had never in his life met someone before that was as comprehensive and forgiving as that woman. Soon enough she met a girl and they both started going out and fall in love. She had stayed as part of the group, everyone too fond of her to let her go. And she introduced them to Annie, her girlfriend. Everything was perfect, they were no hard feelings between either Chandler and Laura and Joey and Laura. Two months later the two girls announced they were moving to the other side of the country, since Annie had been offered her dream job in LA. So they were in the process of moving and Rachel was just sad since Laura and her both worked in fashion and had found a good friend in the industry.
But over all, it was all good. They were finishing up some things with the moving company before going away for good in two weeks.
Chandler was surprised with how much he was gonna miss them. Both him and Joey made no effort to move and say hi, too comfortable in their warm embrace to move. Both girls eyed them knowingly but said nothing, moving on to order some scones and coffee.
Chandler turned around, smiled softly at Joey, that was looking up to him with an adoring gaze, as if he was responsible for hanging up the moon and all the stars.
A few months ago he had thought the fondest look Joey could give to someone was the one he gave to Laura, followed by the softest smiled.
He had been wrong.
He know knew the most adoring and fondest look Joey could give to someone was him. He was now used to find brown eyes staring at him lovingly while he was doing things as mundane as cooking or talking to someone. The ones he liked the most, though, were those when they were buried in blankets, sometimes after having sex, there when they where just laying together, that were accompanied by an ‘I love you’ and followed by a kiss.
So yeah, maybe Chandler had been jealous of the expression Joey had when he was with Laura, but now he knew that it had been nothing compared to how Joey looked at him now.
This was my first fanfic ever so I though I would post it here too just because
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