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seancamerons · 4 months

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1, 13, 21, 24 & 28

What’s something new that you tried in a fic this year? How did it turn out and would you do it again?

I tried to write more often in the past year, 2023 period. i think it turned out better because I've been more motivated to do better and write more. I'm more determined than ever to write the content I want to see or wanna see done differently. probably yes, i will continue the trend in 2024. it'll always be degrassi, i rarely get ideas for other shows.

-I answered 13 previously. -

21. Share your favorite piece of dialogue

This is a small snippet I liked writing from Faking it.

"I don't know, we never talked about that. Like what do you mean?" Sean sighed, "I was like Mr. Hero in the newspapers but I didn't feel like I was any of that."

"The truth is just that it was and it was a reality I didn't want to live in. I just hope if there ever was some weird alternate universe it didn't happen to me."

"I feel guilty I wasn't forthcoming, it was obviously a hard time but I didn't really know what you were going through."

"I'll be honest for the first time and the last time.

Putting in a read-more cut right here!

I didn't talk to Sauve, in fact, I don't think I talked to anyone at all about it. After the shooting, at first, I was just really sad. What I mistook for sadness was this feeling of numbness all over my body. When I wasn't feeling numb, I felt guilty about what my role was and I had a lot of time to think about that part, a lot of time. Time seemed to pass by so fast, I had awful nightmares things didn't turn the way they did so I was hardly sleeping. All the while, in the months afterward, my grades were abysmal. My social life faltered, shutting nearly everyone out even close friends. After that, I went through the motions that I was okay, like fake it 'till you make it. I just wasn't and I wasn't making it. It was probably more than obvious. It took a while for the images to escape my head, the thoughts that ran through me at that very moment. How many nights I wished I was simply gone so I wouldn't see it anymore kind of level of depression. Finally though, when I did feel fine though, everybody just wanted me to show it and that's where I struggled. So I just stuffed it and pretended and now I guess I'll be okay but it takes took time to get to that place. I'm not proud though because it can always come back."

She let out a slight chuckle bringing them back to the reality of their situation, "I guess you can say I'm a good actress." She became essentially a walking, living breathing shell of what or who she was. Nowadays and back then she was lost and not making the decisions or moves she'd typically make. She didn't know who she was anymore. "So yeah, to answer your question, it was hard."

Sean was saddened by this, "It's not funny though. It's serious."

"Did I say it wasn't serious?

"No," He answered downcast before he asked his friend beside him who had just confessed so much about her inner feelings. "Em, why didn't you talk to me?"

She blurted in defense, "I did," and then added, "I am."

"I meant like over the summer, last year I was a call or an IM away. You made it seem like you were perfectly fine and okay. We're friends, and friends talk." Sean uncomfortably lamented out loud. "You were like a goal to be, I wanted to be fine like you were or how I believed how you led me to believe or whatever."

"I didn't want you or anyone to see me like that." Emma remarked bitterly in a hushed tone, "pathetic o-or weak."

They stopped walking, and Sean faced her and softly told her, "You're not though, you're not any of that you hear me? You're strong, stronger than I wish I was. You always were to me."

The words fell freely as Emma found the words ever so easy to describe and quantify her thoughts for Sean. To see why she kept it to herself up until that moment she was never this honest about what she had gone through. "Even the strong have their moments, deep down we're not that different and even the best people struggle. It's not the end of everything in the entire world if that makes sense. It's something I wish I knew then and struggle with it now. Sean, you're one of the strongest people I know. Seeing you get the help you needed is something very brave and also important. I don't know what I'd do if something bad were to happen to you again. I feared what you'd do if something bad ever happened to you. Heck, I never thought I'd ever see you again as if you were gone forever."

"Forever is a long time, Em. You know, I couldn't stay away forever, is that why you looked back? I always wondered why, why did you look back?"

"Because I, I don't know."

"There's gotta be a reason."

"Albeit a stupid one."

"No, tell me. That's just avoidance, no secrets remember? I can handle it."

"Not sure you can but here goes, because, well there are lots of reasons. I thought it was goodbye for good. Sean, you're the only one who ever would be able to silently sit there and without any words or explanation know what I was feeling you know, about what we went through, and in one swoop or in this case, one drive by you was gone."

Losing support in Sean, or so she thought was support, they had just gotten on a good speaking path, the apology meant a lot and was one of the reasons she took the shooting hard. Toby avoided Emma after, almost blaming her for being the straw that broke Rick. Sean simply was gone to her. "We were supposed to be there for each other, friends do that. I know you needed to be away to deal with what happened and I'll never shame you for it because it helped you. I wish I had that kind of escape. I wanted to run away. I had nowhere to run though. It's not something we could've discussed over IM or the phone. It was a face-to-face sort of thing and I couldn't face you with my truth."

There were also a few things she left out, a conversation for another day she supposed. Now they were finally on the same page. Sean let her talk, he said to her once she finished. "Now that we're standing here and you shared some things, no judgment okay?"

Emma answered, "No judgment, promise? No matter what we don't hold this stuff against one another?"

"Promise." They both paused as they interlocked pinkies for a moment, he softly asked her, "How about now, are you okay?"

Emma shook her head no as if she needed to clear the air, "Not exactly but getting there. I guess I needed you here in town, but not in a selfish way. It's not 'cause I loved you in a romantic sense. I don't have some hidden agenda or we were wrapped up in some twisted and toxic relationship. I didn't want it to be like that. Like we are now but different in an indescribable way. At the same time, I didn't want you to see my bad side."

"You know I don't care about that stuff. Just because we ended, doesn't mean I disliked you. In fact, I thought of you often and hoped you were well. It's why I reached out. I guess a part of me felt a little guilty."

"I figured. I knew when we were together, we stopped talking about things that bothered us or upset us. The bad stuff, confrontation, and stuff are why we blew up the way we did in the past. We didn't communicate, we talked but not for real. Not like this. I'd be lying if I didn't hate it."

"I'm glad you shared all that, I feel that way too just replace some things with other things, and felt that way a lot. How does it feel now that we do communicate?"

She thought for a moment as if a weight was lifted from her as she smiled softly, "Better."

"You got to promise me, we have talks like this more often? I feel a lot better too. Us being friends, I like it."

"Promise, and I like it too." Emma echoed the sentiment as she softly replied with a grin. When he wasn't facing her, yet, she knew she had a few secrets left to tell and she only knew those pinky promises won't matter.

24. What’s something that surprised you while you were working on a fic? Did it change the story?

It didn't happen in 2023 necc., but rather an earlier work. I try not to change or switch gears this one had me do just that.

So for Backtrack (idk if others know, it's like a 10-year old semma fix it fic I've been tinkering with for too long lol😆)

I had this whole idea for Craig and Manny to reignite their past relationship to ultimately have an endgame because I guess I wasn't too big on Janny at the time. I DON'T KNOW, it was a long time ago.

Anyway, I was writing the big Janny split and I started crying while writing the big moment, (embarrassing). I was like, well shit. I wrote the fuck out of a breakup between them, I mean I guess I got into it because I actually started to miss them, writing them, giving them dialogue and such and I decided to throw caution to the wind, abandon my initial plan in favor of bringing Janny into epic romance territory.

28. How did you recharge between fics?

Short answer: I take breaks if I experience burnout or get busy with other things irl or otherwise, and revisit it later, or long answer: I don't period and that means a. I abandon, or b. i take a long hiatus from said fic until a new plot bunny comes along and it reinvents my love for an oldie, c. a secret third option which combines a and b. basically or completely abandon it because that's the thing I do if worse comes to worse if the muse never comes back or i just get sick of it, or write myself a corner where none of it works for me.

basically my fic graveyard goes like this:

orange car of secrets is one i abandoned and never saw through no matter how times i'd tried to figure out what to do. (abandoned sometime in 2014)

* I kind of blended some concepts of this fic in together forever, another wip that i lowkey abandoned but still have hope for. it got me through the pandemic era (2020) after all!)

starlet and the dealer another abandoned because it just is irrelevant, self-explanatory. after all, its a bit of a soapy au season 13, a romance between zoe rivas and zig novak, so i kind of didn't have a choice. who wants to read something like that, let alone write it, so next. (abandoned sometime in 2015)

i also have a ton of half-baked stories, upcoming chapters for other unfinished works, potential one-shots, and drabbles, fic prompts, and idk if they would see the light of day or are being worked on in downtime and may show up once i promise or stick to my promise to finish just one!

I've been writing fics of the semma persuasion for the better part of a decade, over a decade so it's just common. I feel comfortable knowing these characters I typically write, as if they were my own but I create some bg or original characters to support the canon mains, and play like they're sim characters or something I don't know, but it's fun to write and I've become more comfortable writing au's and random newbies/oc's as a result of writing more, I think my vocab has grown a little better too.

(i'll leave you with a fun fact: ) fun fact: the initial title of my most recent work in progress (where are you now?) was lucky and there is/was a really shitty version on an older account from years ago on fanfiction, it's been reworked and retooled since (thank god).

to be fair, i was like 14 when i came up with the idea and it showed. it was VERY bad. some things remain from it, it was very melodramatic (not that where are you now? isn't) it's just I can't explain, I was so wrong and naive tbh.)✨

💌 thank you for the ask! if anyone is willing to send asks about fics and other things, don't be shy.

#asks #maya-matlin #fic #fic rec #answered #writing #writing tag #degrassi #semma #emjay #emma nelson #sean cameron #fanfiction #writing stuff

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