#either way i cant not fuck him
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the funny thing about my relationship with my boyfriend is that, outwardly, people would never think he's a freak. they look at us and see the most regular, unassuming, jock-looking, handsome guy in the world dating this dyed-black-hair, beetlejuice-ass-character bitch that i present myself as and logically think "ah yes, she is clearly the domesticated gremlin of that particular situation"
they would, of course, be painfully wrong, because that man is as much of a weirdo as i am. his mind palace is much more strange and disarming than anything i could come up with, and i'm half convinced he just put on an extra 60 pounds of muscles to throw people off his freak-scent
last night for example, he calmly relayed to me that sometimes when we're making out a bit more intensely, he likes to think of how we're actually just one big digestive system, connected through our mouths, which he thought was a very romantic thought.
understandably, i had to prod his brain a little, so i asked "honey. honey. why are you regularly daydreaming about us being human-centipeded together" and he asked me what the plot of the human centipede was, because, again, he likes to pretend he is a regular person and doesn't watch a lot of horror movies. i tried to explain to him what the story of the movies was about, while largely trying to emphasize how it was a little unusual that our most passionate moments of intimacy would unpromptedly conjure in his mind the same thought process as that of a psychotic german doctor who wanted to kidnap people and sew their mouths to each other assholes
and then he, with the biggest, shiniest, bluest eyes in the world, frowned at me and said "well, but they weren't in love", firmly establishing that he thinks that the main problem of the acts committed throughout the human centipede trilogy were upsetting solely due to the lack of true love between the humans who were centipeded
so yeah i'm planning to father his children
#when you find a bigger weirdo than you you gotta keep them#he also doesn't think the shit he says even registers as weird which is just. the funniest part#he ALSO ALSO somehow only manages to say that shit in front of me#which leads me to believe that he either a) has that shit running through his subconscious 24/7 and only let's himself get comfortable#enough to say it when i'm around#or b) does actually know how fucked up he sounds and is in fact going for the long con of only showing that shit in front of me#so nobody will ever believe me when i tell them the insane situations this man comes up with#either way i cant not fuck him#human centipede#the human centipede#idk what to tag this lol i dont write posts
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Okay.
#this fucking rules by the way. I love brutal shit like this I'm just so stunned that it happened at all#god them fucking holding him down and tearing him apart is fucking insane. and I really like how you cant properly see either of their faces#just skywarp's as he begs for his life. really makes the brain itch#transformers#transformers 2023#transformers skybound#starscream#soundwave#skywarp#my post
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you know i do wonder how many sonic characters actually have living parents. like knuckles is the last of his kind so obviously his parents arent around anymore. both guys who could be considered shadows dads are 100 percent confirmed dead. sonic is canonically an orphan im pretty sure. and on the other side of the coin cream is like the only character in the game cast who has a living parent we actually see onscreen. but what about everyone else i dont think theres a straight answer for any other character. other than rouge's mom being mentioned a couple times i Guess but we dont even know anything about her or if shes still alive just that she existed at some point. are these kids constantly putting themselves in danger because they dont have parents around to stop them or because their parents just dont care
#like what about tails. im guessing he didnt have any sort of family he was attached to if he left to be with sonic so quickly#but that doesnt really mean he didnt have parents at all. maybe he had parents and they just sucked i dont know#what about amy. what if she had parents this whole time we just never see them.#what about blaze. considering shes a princess id assume she was born into that role#but i dont know if her parents are ever actually mentioned#maybe theyre dead and there was no one else to take on their role and thats why blaze has so much responsibility at such a young age?#silver . he was born in a wet cardboard box all alone i cant really imagine him hvaing parents sorry#considering charmy is 6 and living with vector. an adult whos obviously not his biological dad.#i feel like something probably happened to charmys parents#espio i dont really question as much#becuase it feels very common in the sonic universe for teenagers to have more freedom than would be expected in real life#or maybe its not that common and the teenagers we're actually following are just living the most fucked up lives ever. i dotn know#but either way. espio where are your parents buddy. are they still alive. vector where are YOUR parents are they still alive#i dont know if i actually want canon explanations for all this though#because its kinda fun not knowing every detail about every characters life and being able to speculate and insert your headcanons n stuff#to be clear im talking about game canon#i know stuff like archie sonic and the sonic movies and the 90s cartoons will sometimes give characters new family members#or talk about their family situation even if the games dont say anything about that sort of thing
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starting a former william fan support group bc what the entire fuck was that
#redacted audio#redacted asmr#redactedverse#art#illustration#redacted vincent#vincent solaire#look william is right in that thats how it be sometimes way#does NOT make his actions any less shitty and certainly doesnt absolve him#suggesting vincent and sam just fuck off seems incredibly dismissive and sort of is but he's right#william knows he isnt going to change and vincent (+ sam but he's really only got a tiny stake in this) can deal with it or bugger off#super interesting issue because i can clearly see both sides of the argument#william cant afford to not be strategic and that includes manipulating the people he has power over#THAT SAID#vincent is rightfully upset at being fucked with for william's interests#i dont think theres a solution for everyone here#stay and become involved at worst or complicit at best#or cut ties completely#which is a whole nother can of worms and leaves vincent (+ sam but hold your horses) vulnerable to being killed by either a clan or drifter#(which would be hard but not impossible) or get snapped up by someone looking to manipulate him#sound familiar?#and sam was also there#someone needs to explain to him how a monarchy works#like yes honey william DOES get to make every decision on his own and move assets and people as he sees fit without counsel#thats what it says on the tin
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edgeworth this edgeworth that I want gumshoe to raw me from behind
#saw him and eyes went vmmP#detective gumshoe#dick gumshoe#phoenix wright#i want to wine and dine him and not even make it to the car#at the same time i also want to fuck nasty like a separated couple with way too much passion left#“you never loved me like your job” “i never felt supported! do you know how hard it is to work day and night to hunt down killers??” “do you#know how hard it is to have an absent husband?“#fuckin grab him by that tie and pull him on you while you sit bacj on his desk#you know you knOW the phrase “fuck me like you mean it” comes out and he either 1) breaks down cause he did love you or 2) takes that heart-#break and fuckin pushes it so hard you cant walk for a week#aging tumblr this aging tumblr that#still love nick and edgeworth! jjst the things i would do to gumshoe#phoenix wright ace attorney#ace attorney
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How the fuck did I learn how to efficiently help my partner through his autistic meltdowns thanks to a vashwood fanfic .what
#me reading ww help w vashs meldowns: oh well I . ?? oh ???? wait It does look similar to - OH ?? IT WOULD HELP MAYBE OH MY GOR#I followed fucking fanfic wws steps next time my bf had one#i used his way of asking and talking#the question that fictional bitch asked#and it WORKED#Fun fact were both autistic#just .completely different breeds of it#plus I cant understand ppls physical reactions to save my life#thought process ?? im a fucking expert . the BEST#but PHYSICAL oh hell naw#I just understand what I physically need but absolutely nothing more#NOW I CAN HELP HIM#U DONT UNDERSTAND HOW HAPPY AM I ABOUT THAT#autism#fanfiction#vashwood#ao3 fanfic#we had obv talked about it b4 but he didnt understand how it worked either so we left it at “dw if u dont know. ure trying and i love u”#(i wanted to eat his face and cry bc I HATE NOT UNDERSTANDING SHIT I SHOULD UNDERSTAND)#oh and I couldnt do what works for me bc my body is 100% uncapable of being vulnerable in anyway in front of ppl for more than .5 min prob#so I just loose my mind a lil bit w laughing randomly and moving compulsively like rocking on the chair or slamming things etc for that time#and the close off until im alone and gave the full needed meltdown#so ive never been actually comforted or helped so I dont know what it would help bc Ive never experienced it#rant ended lads now SORRY
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https://x.com/d3kutism/status/1741579841764475157?s=46
it should be illegal to be this fucking stupid so loudly and confidently omg..
mfs on the internet preach about "media literacy" yet they completely gloss over the fact that the only damn things that kusuo "canonically" is are a tsundere, an unreliable narrator, and a fucking liar LMFAOOO.. babe thats like basic reading comprehension, im sorry..
EDIT: it should go without saying not to send a person hate just because of a silly post like this one(+i dont have any reach anyway so im sure it wouldnt happen, but i wanna say this nonetheless lol) but i would just like to say that i just checked and realized that this person is 15 years old, so like... yeah, too young to be arguing with grown people on the internet. dont take this too serious or send this person hate pls lol..
#nobody who isnt aroace is allowed to tell ME what character has to be aroace#yall forget that we aroaces (+ESPECIALLY autistic aroaces) dont want or need your ugly white knight savior bs#'oh but im aroace n i also think hes aroace🤓' ok?? should i care about your hcs?#have your projection hcs or your regular random hcs- i literalky DONT care#but it becomes an issue when u try so desperately to defend it like this#like babe u sound so dumb☠️#its so confusing to me how u chronically online weirdos insist on making ur hcs canon#i promise u guys ur hcs dont have to be canon for u to enjoy them#its a VERY popular hc too like tf more do u want#im autistic and aroace and i say kusuo is demi and autistic#i am him and he is me so i know factually/j#so still on the aroace spectrum but either way i dont force my hcs on other people like u selfish weirdos do LOL#also this person and the replies being like 'just cuz not all autistic ppl r aroace doesnt mean none can be' YEA OBVIOUSLY?#UR ARGUING WITH THE WALL AND ITS CRAZY CUZ NOBODY EVER SAID THAT#literally not one fucking person said he cant be aroace- just that it isnt canon#do u even fucking hear urselves.. YOURE the ones saying he cant be anything other than aroace.. so YOURE the one doing the forcing..#u guys love pushing ur stereotypes on others and then defending it to high fucking hell#anyway sorry i dont have a public twitter so im saying my piece here#the link looks suspicious as hell twitter pwease give me a better link#saiki k#tdlosk#the disastrous life of saiki k.#saiki kusuo#meows post
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If Salem obliterated Vale, does that mean she has its relic?
#rwde#ozpin said it was better hidden than the rest and ive been so curious abt it ever since#bc he's got two options for accessing it: the fall maiden who killed him and is working for his genocidal ex or the missing summer maiden#(seriously oz why the absolute shit do you not have a skeleton key for these vaults)#this was like. THE reason i wanted the story to go back to Vale. i wanted so bad to see what 'better hidden' meant#ngl i was hoping for smth like it not being hidden in the conventional sense but rather chose its wielder for their qualities#mayhaps someone w a simple honest soul#but alas. vale is destroyed offscreen w only a single sentence to convey the horror and tragedy#since patch was close to Vale does that mean Tai is dead too? Raven was the last person to see him and he aint w her so...#dude's probably dead right? or did the writers forget he existed again?#either way fuck that epilogue. i cant believe im prefering the half episode exposition dump ending but it truly is the lesser of evils
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WOOZI for romantic crown
#woozi#lee jihoon#woozi gifs#svt gifs#seventeen gifs#my gif#*mine#this was a nice palate cleanser after having him emotionally and hormonally destroy me for the past week but also#he's so sweetheart cutiepie angel shaped so i'm not sure that's better???#it hurts either way i want to just. sob so violently#i want to sob and kiss his perfect face and make sure he's always happy and it's so#like. okay. no.#look at that smile. look at it. really fucking look and tell me there's anything more precious than that on this earth#you cant because there isn't because he's everything#sigh
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just thinking about how much the episode about the pregnant photographer would fuck house up in omegaverse... i imagine he would still take the same position, the life of the mother is more important than the baby, but i think he would feel just that much more upset, and maybe even a little conflicted on it. in my headcanon he would be pretty far along in the pregnancy when he lost it, and would relate so much to her and refuse to admit it.
like partially he needs to stand firmly on her losing the baby to save her life to cope with the feelings he has around his own miscarriage, ans justify him surviving while his baby didnt in his own mind. but also at the same time, he remembers what its like to lose a baby and be left alone, and that part of him desperately wants to see her suceed, but he tries to drown it out with the logical part of his mind.
but ohhh the part where the baby grabs his finger mid surgery? GOD that would fuck him up. I cant even imagine how much that would take him back to his miscarriage and humanize his lost baby. I feel like that would really be a turning point for him in his choice to try have another pup
HE WOULD he wouldn't compromise his medical opinion in mgv OF COURSE but. but he'd have some personal feelings. that case definitely does the worst thing to him: it brings out the omega in him. to the point it's whispering at him nonstop in the back of his mind. he does his best to ignore the feelings and memories
...... but then the surgery. fuck. it shuts everything else in his head up. his eyes get misty. suddenly realizes the pup he lost, that he tries not to think about and still hasn't processed the loss of after all this time, would be in elementary school. he's on the verge of whining when he catches himself. were scent blockers not mandatory PPE his scent would be tinged with notes of something warm, something sad.
for the first time in a long time, his logical brain and hindbrain are in agreement. she's getting a second chance. i can give myself one too.
#asks#certified-moth#mgv#house md#sidenote that episode fucked me up from the very beginning bc i listened to sooo much all american rejects back in the day#and that was BEFORE the rest of the episode fucked me up#i was thinking about the hilson pup being a surprise to them but this ask got me pondering#how. devious. it would be if house purposefully stopped using his birth control for his heats#without telling wilson (they help each other's cycles but aren't officially anything)#not baby trapping exactly but something similar. but also later realizes as much as he WANTS the pup#he CANT fuck up their friendship. that would be a whole arc in itself#hoghhh. aouhg. he wants a pup and he wants wilson in his life somehow even just as friends but either way choosing just one upsets him#no matter what he chooses. because he's already convinced himself that the perfect option of having them both in his life is unattainable
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Ah lads here we go again. Chat, who's going to tell them
#dungeon meshi spoilers#<- for the beloveds#head in hands#when characters are written well (complex) but ppl Neeeed to be able to 'they're a bad person' bc they did a bad thing#failing to realize that literally EVERYONE has done bad things---#the characters have depth! thats whats compelling!!!#yes this is bc the anime reached toshiro and we are once again seeing the waves of 'i hate shuro he's an awful person' raghhhhhhh#i fucking love laios he's an incredible character but raghhhh#chat they (fandom) don't know about the microaggressions#grahhh cultural differences and arguably clashes of nd bc i can see toshiro also being nd but even if not raghhh#yes toshiro should have handled things better but also laios should have and its wrong to baby either of them raghhh#also toshiro hasnt eaten or slept in days and is all over the place at this point and Laios Even Acknowledges It raghhhhhhhhhhh#raghhhhhhhhhhhh#ghhhhhhh knows that the later scenes will probably hopefully make some ppl better understand but its going to ten ten trillion years to get#there and raghhhhhhh#oh boy i cant wait to see th fucking. racisms.#ghhhhhhhhhh#me when idrc ab toshiro but the sheer scale of hate directed towards him makes me want to blorbo him out of spite rahhhhh#<- me when i have been in situations where im both laios and toshiro and it sucks from both sides#and thats! the! point!!!!!!!!!!!!#you can hurt ppl you care ab!!!!!!!!#grahhhhhhhh#the cultural part is one that just. grah.#ryoko kui does such an incredible job establishing and showing that different cultures exists and just the fandom ignoring that gh.#also stop calling him shuro raghhh <- thats a pet peeve one but god as someone who's irl name has been made fun of#So many times bc it's not 'local'.#ghhhhh laios ily but the panel where you were going 'HUH? SHURO? NICE TO MEET YOU EVERYONE THIS IS SHURO :D'. pain and agony#ryoko kui has absolutely been there before as most asian ppl when white person#<- this was me just having a moment bc goes into tag and sighs.#toshiro you're an asian side character standing in the way of the blorbo mc and blorbo yuri you never stood a chance.....
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there’s a progression in there, somewhere, of even going from ‘the master might kill me any day now :(‘ to ‘the master is going to kill me :) she’s not going to let someone else do it after all this time’
#i wouldn’t call it hubris exactly. more like this pretty secure surity that that’s how they’re going to die.#and to them that makes sense. they chose this. they keep choosing it after the doctor offers them a way out.#because this is. they understand this. and they feel safe in the reprieve before their death.#how do you control death? choose who kills you. the last defense of a prey animal.#something something dark mirror to clara’s ‘i am owed’ speech for even is if this ever. doesn’t work out the way they thought it would.#clara tried to threaten the doctor so that he’d reverse death for her. even would turn on the master if she tried to spare them.#i am owed better. i am owed the death you promised… i am owed the knowledge that you don’t care enough to save me… you know. something like#that.#even is. kind of. meant to mirror the doctor’s companions at the time. they are a martha who can’t leave him. they are a donna who has to#remember and never speak about everything they know. they are clara if during deep breath clara reached back and truly didn’t expect. truly#hoped. that no one would take her hand. because if they can be certain it will happen they can know never to reach again.#jesus christ. go to therapy boy. you have so many trust issues.#but that’s why they’re Like That with the master because at the end of the day. who is easier to rely on? the guy who comes in to put out#fires but only sometimes. or the guy who. really really fucking likes starting fires.#better to get burned hoping someone is coming or get burned knowing that’s what would happen. and even. chooses the latter.#AND ALL OF THIS. for me to say thats why i cant actually let the master ever kill them.#i think she needs to do something worse to even. i think she needs to abandon them.#and that will either set them free to go have healthy normal relationships or. lets be honest much more likely. completely fucking break#them. which would be fun :) for me.#dw oc
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YOU average fan of Telltale Games' The Walking Dead, are YOU normal about child/ neurodivergent characters?
#ramblings#sorry if this has been done before im not involved in twdg fandom anymore really#also could include traumatized in a non-palatable way characters like how i choose to interpret kenny but-#-i feel that? its either just how i view ppl acting bc of personal interpretations or something that overlaps with the-#-child/ neurodivergent characters thing so i excluded it for brevity#ok2rb btw ofc#the walking dead#telltale games#twdg#sarah twdg#duck twdg#gabe twdg#the walking dead game#ben twdg#<- I CANT BELIEVE I FORGOT HIM IM SORRY BEN. hes a teen iirc not a child but like..#..hes still young and inexperienced. fucking imagine
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the knowledge that ted has helped guide richmond to be a healthier and more supportive place and now we're seeing nate returning to the fold after being forgiven by beard the way ted had forgiven and offered a second chance to beard himself and jamie has a support system and rebecca has been growing more self-assured and open and keeley has been able to achieve so much and roy has become a great coach and an even better man and and and and-
and. all the foreshadowing about ted going back to america. learning that not only was ted trying to give michelle space, but that he's been afraid of hurting his son the way his dad hurt him - acknowledging that and being open about his pain with his mother. do i think that ted is going back to kansas? yeah. but i'm scared that his time in richmond will have changed him so much that he won't be able to step out of his life there so easily anymore. he's always been a coach, yeah? he's there, and so supportive, but at the end of the day he's on the sideline. but not only has ted been helping encourage openness, forgiveness, and growth around him, we're seeing it within himself. and it hurts to think of him leaving that behind, even if it is to be there for his son. but maybe he's ready for it. i don't really know. but seeing how much love he's brought into richmond and then seeing that love returned back to him makes the idea of leaving heartwrenching
#i just want ted to understand exactly how much HE means to the people around him#and he's been such a cyclebreaker that i can't imagine he'd ever truly leave henry behind#the way his father left him#don't take that as me blaming ted's dad - but he clearly didnt have the support he needed and that also hurt ted#but it makes my heart ache to think of ted returning to kansas and leaving behind these people who love him#though i cant imagine the people of kansas were thrilled with him leaving either#idk man. im fucking emotional#and knowing that beard probably wouldnt come back to him now that hes had his cathartic moment hurts#sorry im rambling. i smoked a joint mid day and now im a teary mess#ted lasso#tree talks
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thoughts on totk now that i’ve beaten it
under the cut bc of length and bc there is honestly a fair bit of negative stuff
i don’t really think i can say that i liked totk.
it’s fine, it’s genuinely fucking incredible from a technical standpoint with ultrahand, recall, the three map layers and with how smoothly it ran for me. as a game it’s fine.
i’ll start with the things i dislike and end with what i actually liked
i honestly didn’t really like ultrahand? i disliked how much the game leaned on it, since so many puzzles and whatever just boiled down to ‘make something that’ll work’ and it just... it was far too clunky for me to really enjoy using it, outside of using some of the same few designs for traversal. there were a few times when i could see what the game wanted me to do with ultrahand and the given zonai parts and sometimes it just... didn’t work at all. more often than not ultrahand was frustrating for me to use so the game’s reliance on it just made it into a chore sometimes.
in a similar vein the dungeons were serious letdowns. i mean, don’t get me wrong, they’re fine, they had good themes and (mostly) had good aesthetics and general looks and identities to them, but the fact that they were just... basically twenty-ish minute little things was kind of disappointing. i hate that they all had the exact same ‘go hit x number of switches’ gimmick. it really limited what you could do and fucked with the dungeon design, too. the only one where that really worked for me was the fire temple, which was my favorite overall. the water temple was especially dismal, with the least inspired look and just being an astoundingly easy experience. the puzzles in those dungeons were so awfully easy, too, especially since half of the time they just hand you what you need so you barely need to really assess the situation and put a plan together
i hated the water dungeon’s little mini-areas where you do a single piss-easy puzzle to automatically get your prize, i hated the wind temple’s god damn ‘pull a lever and get your prize’ kind of puzzles, i hated how soul-crushingly disappointed i felt when i took a look at the lightning temple’s map and realized that every fucking floor had a singular room just for the switch puzzle. god forbid it’s as fun as the lowest level of that temple. i really miss stuff like mini-bosses or rooms where you have to do a puzzle in order to just... progress, i miss dungeons that i could get lost in or spend a while in or just had... something more interesting or some more substance so that i can’t just breeze through like it’s a glorified shrine. most of the puzzles in those dungeons were simpler than some shrines i did.
i didn’t care to do much exploration since there honestly isn’t much motivation to explore the surface map if you’ve already played botw, and the scarcity of materials this time really got to me, it took me a while to have a half-decent stock of materials, and i still had trouble not running out of stuff even though i was using amiibos to stock up on some things. the money situation was rough, too... a lot of things are cheaper to sell, but some armor is still really expensive plus you have to pay the great fairies to upgrade your equipment in addition to having the correct materials. that especially felt odd- having to grab a handful of (goddamn hard to get) lynel guts is hard enough to upgrade the soldier’s armor, but you want me to cough up 500 rupees, too??
(the scarcity of monster guts also got on my nerves, but i’ll just chalk that up to just some kind of really weird difficulty thing. it was annoying until i tracked down the stronger monsters.)
the story is probably the weakest part of the game to me. it’s really hard to have a baseline investment when you don’t care about these characters, anyway, and what i saw in this game’s story still failed to endear me to hardly any of them. link’s role frustrated me; he just comes off like a tool rather than a character this time through, he barely has any actual relevancy to the story segments beyond being the guy who can use the master sword and being the player’s vehicle to get from point a to b in the story. the blank stare and limited emoting worked in botw because... there’s a given reason for his lack of outward emotion in the past, plus he has no memory in the present. it makes sense. but this time around, he’s gotten memories in the years between this and the last game, but he just feels like a background character in most of the story beats.
he has no role in the memories and in the present just exists to gather some stuff for other people, he gets the master sword from zelda and then helps the other sages get their secret stones, but he’s barely addressed as his own character in the grand scheme of things unless he’s being directly spoken to. he’s just the swordsman capable of wielding the master sword and zelda’s chosen protector as far as the story is concerned. he has no opinions outside of doing what he’s told and looking for zelda. at least not as far as i could really tell. at least in botw, the story directly concerns him, and it’s his story we’re following. this time around zelda and the sages seem like the most important characters, link’s just... there, doing what he’s been told to.
the new sages are fine, none of them really endeared themselves to me, and i will say that making the player watch essentially the exact same cutscene each time you finish a dungeon was BAFFLING. they were long and you learned almost nothing new after the first one, and there was nothing done to make them very distinct to each individual pair of sages or their respective regions; at the very least, it could have been interesting to meet the ancient sages not in the exact same stone garden, but perhaps at the top of a snowy mountain for the rito, near a volcano or something for the goron, maybe in a shallow pool of water for the zora, and in the desert for the gerudo- but no, they’re all effectively the same thing just with the speaking character swapped out with some minor changes.
(the sages themselves are a pain in the ass to use, having to chase them down to activate their power or accidentally activating a power when you don’t want it; yunobo was honestly my favorite, but because i generally defaulted to having them all activated at all times, i had a lot of trouble with tulin blowing shit away from me when i was trying to grab it while midair. they’re half-decent for combat)
i didn’t really care for rauru or sonia, either. rauru in the present as a ghost was fine, he was kind of interesting and seemed to have changed from his time in the past, but he never managed to be a character i particularly liked. i wasn’t really a fan of his... arrogance? or something in the past scenes, and he never really came off as very interesting. sonia was nearly completely uninteresting which is a shame since she has an interesting design, she just felt delegated to the role of supporting rauru and zelda and then dying to motivate them.
ganondorf is a character i was really looking forward to seeing, and it really fucking sucks that he’s so god damn one-dimensional this time! the story can’t be fucked to delve into him beyond just giving us scenes that just tell us that he’s evil and wants to rule hyrule and get the secret stones and nothing else because fuck having complex villains, i guess. especially frustrating because within the game itself you can draw more interesting motivations up for him, but the game really just doubles-down on him being evil for the fuck of it and wanting to end the world because uhhhh... he’s evil don’t fucking worry about it
the ignoring of the triforce in this game sucks in that way, too, because the way the triforce works and how it can grant wishes made it a much more interesting goal for ganondorf to attain, rather than some poorly-named ‘secret stones’ that do nothing more than just amplify power or something. it sucks how black-and-white this damn story is and how it seems like it just wants to do away with any possible nuance or gray area. no one but the bad guys or side characters are flawed in any actually interesting or significant way.
at least ganondorf was still the most interesting character in the flashbacks.
and then zelda, oh god ZELDA. i honestly really liked her in botw. i liked how you saw her as a flawed, insecure, pressured teen, and how you saw her struggles to relate to link and how she eventually warmed up to him. you saw her as a flawed person who develops and as someone who cares deeply about her friends and her duties and gets frustrated by her failings.
and then in totk a lot of her more interesting traits- her interest in sheikah tech, her excitement over field study and research, her more defining traits as this incarnation of zelda- are basically sanded down and she’s just this perfect flawless princess with great power and an insanely passive role in the past beyond finally taking some kind of action after one of her friends dies and she’s pushed to the brink. cool. great.
she has practically no flaw in totk. if anyone in the present talks about her, they have nothing bad to say and just want to please her and follow her orders, she is right in telling the gerudo how to train their troops she is right even when misheard to tell people to put themselves in danger and she is hardly meaningfully questioned when her imposter is doing very clearly suspicious shit. neither the story nor any of the characters wants to let her be flawed. she’s just perfect in damn near every way and barely retains any interesting characterization she got in botw. there are some interesting snippets in her being a teacher and setting up memorials to those who died in the calamity, but there’s hardly any more than that, and it makes it really hard for me to give a damn about her. she’s not interesting this time.
the whole thing with zelda becoming a dragon too, is... it’s fine. it’s ok. but the fact that she turns back at the end with no problem whatsoever is one hell of a fucking misstep. why talk about draconification being forbidden for a good reason anyways if it doesn’t actually matter anyways??? if you never actually see any of those fucking repercussions why even bring them up??? i really feel like it would have been more effective for there to have been actual consequences for zelda beyond just fucking flying around half-conscious for a millennium or whatever- have her lose her memory when she’s brought back! there you go! there’s the reason why draconification is forbidden! there’s the thing about losing yourself! plus, zelda losing her memories as a result would mirror link having lost his memories in botw! that has so much more weight and significance then ‘oh uh ignore the warnings from a while back she’s completely fine dw abt it’ i hate that she’s back just like that without any of the consequences that the game suggests.
the dragon’s tears in general kinda just felt weaker than botw’s memories anyways bc you’re more just. watching stuff happen then actually learning anything. it has less characters and yet i feel like you only get to know like half of the important ones. like three of them are all about the same event. a few times they just replay parts of old memories in new ones. if they ever reference a past memory they just show you what they’re referencing instead of leaving you to piece it together. just play the voices or something don’t break the flow of things to play a clip of something i’ve already seen.
plus the fact that totk... barely acknowledges that it’s a sequel to botw really rubs me the wrong way. i understand that loz is extremely loose with its lore, but totk is a direct sequel set in the same world a few years later, and yet the events and characters of botw have might as well been forgotten and its all either ignored, brushed aside, or straight up replaced by something else for no good reason. the continuity between these games is absolutely dismal and to see the different ways in which the events and concepts or botw are just... disregarded really just left a bad taste in my mouth.
just- i love good stories and worlds in video games, and while some games can coast by for me by feeling good to play, having a good and engaging story and characters is usually essential to my enjoyment of a game, and when i don’t care about to the point of disliking the story and characters, and when none of the important areas are fascinating or distinct enough from each other, and when the game even fails to really reel me in with the gameplay...
i wanted to like totk, but it really just did not work for me. i just ended up feeling frustrated and disappointed and even sometimes bored with all of the major stuff and man. totk is really, REALLY, not for me, and it just left me wanting to play older zelda games instead.
...
HOWEVER! there were actually some things i really loved about totk! it’s not all doom and gloom! (well, not all doom, at least)
so! the music was great! not all of it really fit or made a lot of sense with the context in which they played or failed to evoke the feeling they were meant to, but the new tracks in this game were great! i especially love the first two phases of the fire temple’s theme, the depths music, and most of the new battle and boss themes. zelda games almost never fail when it comes to the music.
i did genuinely like the fire temple- yunobo’s ability was used the best in this dungeon, and it had the best five switches gimmick, i loved how you had to hit the gongs (sometimes having to construct a path to account for the weaknesses of yunobo’s ability) and how it then ‘scared’ each of the five statues holding a part of the gate- it was very cute and fit in very well with the general feel of that part of the story. it was the best in terms of difficulty and complexity, but it didn’t have the best boss- the lightning temple had the best boss, and i will admit that even if most of them were easy, i really enjoyed the mirror puzzles, as well as the process to unlocking the dungeon. the wind temple had my favorite visual identity and aesthetic, though, i liked it being a part of this old rito song, and how it was the most distinct in looks from the other dungeons.
the sky islands were honestly fun, even if they weren’t all that interesting. getting to some of the harder-to-reach islands were some of my favorite times i had to use ultrahand, and stuff like the zonai forge island and the one orblike island with the mirror puzzle, and pretty much all of the more complicated parts of the sky islands were a lot of fun to explore and figure out.
being able to ride on the dragons was just really cool, and the fact that they come out of the chasms was fun.
the new horns for the monsters were cool, it helps differentiate the different monster strengths and i just thought they were really neat.
the quest with lurelin village was fun, even if the pirates just being monsters was a real let-down.
the stable trotters were also a fun bunch of characters, that was a good, new way to open up fairy fountains.
all of the new stuff with the yiga was really fun, like getting their outfit and being able to pretend to be one of them and learning the blademaster attack- so much fun it was so cute.
most of the new outfits are really good and useful, and while a bit janky and not that great, the house-building bit near tarrey was endearing.
while none of the main characters interested me, i really, especially liked tauro and yona and penn. for some reason they just appealed to me and i really wish they had bigger parts in the game because they’re interesting and they have good designs and i’d really like to know more about them.
the underground gerudo shelter was pretty cool, to be honest, and the look of the caves was really cool.
i adored the proving grounds shrines- easily my favorite shrines in the entire game, i had no problem spending a decent amount of time in those kinds of shrines, they were fantastic.
the new ingredients and recipes and new weapons were cool.
the way you basically return to the area you started at on your way to ganondorf is pretty cool, that whole path is really neat.
ganondorf in general was a pretty cool boss, even if he ended up being kind of easy for me. the whole final boss sequence was neat.
by FAR, though, my absolute favorite part of this game was 100% the depths. the fact that there was just an entire second layer to the map that was the same size as the surface, just inverted and dark and filled with new bosses and locations... i spent hours down there without going back up to the surface and absolutely had a BLAST screwing around in the dark, lighting up my path with brightblooms and tossing together little vehicles with lights so that i could get to the next lightroot off in the distance. the depths was probably where i ended up using zonai vehicles the most, and it was honestly pretty fun to go around spotting and reaching every lightroot, coming across different mines and weird little landforms and coliseums and yiga camps. the music and plantlife and look of the depths were so good, and it really felt distinct from the rest of the game in a very good way. doing all of the lightroots and getting enough zonaite to max out link’s energy cells was definitely a good move since it made finding shrines and dealing with later zonai machine stuff easier.
overall, tears of the kingdom was a severely mixed bag for me, and while there was stuff i did like, i don’t think it’s enough to really get me to say that i really liked this game overall- after all most of the stuff i disliked was unavoidable parts of the games, and it definitely put a hamper on my interest in the rest of the time. totk is fine, but it’s really not my thing.
#i just- *slams head into brick wall* bro i did not have a good time with this game#going back to my silly little comparison point; totk was $70 and my copy of phantom hourglass was $70#$70 is a bullshit amount for a game but thats no the point here#totk from a technical baseline standpoint as a GAME is worth $70#its story and the amount of enjoyment it gave me was not worth $70 tho. the story and enjoyment i got from ph was more worth $70 to me#salty talks#loz#legend of zelda#totk#'zelda games almost never fail when it comes to the music' if you talk shit abt ph's soundtrack i'll kill you. i like the dungeon track#i partially have the shinji chair image saved for this but i did also initally save it yesterday when i finished nge#listen this was fine on a surface level but it just wore me the fuck down#link was just some flavor of stonefaced or surprised or determined in any given cutscene and like. idk. wasnt too interested in him either#look i know about the silly little dialogue options. still didnt do it for me#link getting his arm back only makes sense to me bc i got every last light of blessing and heart container and stamina vessel#the gloom in his body is 100% gone hes squeaky clean for me. whyd you take his shirt off tho. at least keep his hat. cant take it seriously#put him in the archaic set or smth his arm is fully visible that way at least and its full circle thats what he wears at the start#couldnt take the whole grabbing zelda sequence seriously bc i missed the (hold) prompt and link flew away lol#totk spoilers#also wasnt really a fan of most of the voice acting yeah sorry. kinda rough all around aside from like ganondorf and dimitri- i mean rauru#mineru and the rito sage were fine too ig. im not going to bother watching any vids or whatever to check again#riju and sidon were fine too#sonia was cool too but everyone else was a lil rough tbh esp with having to say 'secret stone' that name sucks shit#my switch died in the middle of the credits. i had like 25% when i started fighting ganondorf.#it died twice actually cuz i charged it for a few minutes and what like yeah 5% should be good and nope. died again#anyways whatever. im not giving it a rating im tired of this game i dont think i'll be replaying or even just touching it any time soon#music was top notch again tho. made me feel stuff more than the actual story did. cool ig#bitching abt totk
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Hehe hi Pik :0 I'll give you three questions for your ask game and you can pick out whatever you want to answer <:]
What are your thoughts on Kaigaku? I know he's a bit of spoiler territory but I'm curious .. or maybe what are your thoughts on Muichiro? You decide!
A question just for me, though ,, do YOU have a favorite bird? .., !!
oh abolutely HYSTERICAL to give a pick scenario and then lay down topics that will instantly get me to talk for hours on end at the drop of a hat KSJNGFKDJNGKD
so!! the easy one!! my favorite bird, ithink, is between the mourning dove and the house sparrow! they are not terribly glamorous but i love them so so dearly and will instantly cheer up when i think about them :')
as for the character questions. thank you for enabling me HJBSJFBJD
i could very very easily write an entire goddamn essay about Either of them, but for the sake of saving whatever brevity i can manage to keep, ill save talking abt mui for when That Episode(tm) drops whenever it does, because inevitebly, i will be Absolutely Inconsolable and it Will happen anyway KJNDKGDF
instead, for now, under a cut because this preamble is already paragraphs long... kaigaku.
i fucking hate this man. i cannot stand him, hes the worst, he is so fucking stupid, i think about him fucking constantly, and he is one of my favorites. he is so fucking insufferable, and i love him!
ok so. getting into kny, i was like. immediately a zenitsu liker. like i saw him and went "god. fuck. shit. its gonna be this nerd i dont even know about yet and i can feel it already." (i was right.) which is Crucial to knowing the angle here. and when i got to his part in th manga, i . genuinely dont remember if i even thought too hard about him. i dont even remember when i Did, i just know that he Wasnt there, and then he Was, and he Never Fucking Left KSJNKDJGN
which is very very fucking funny, considering... how much of a character he straight up Isnt.
like yeah! he sure does show up in a flashback and then fights zen and dies about it! it takes like, a two chapters max! and the entire time, his only character trait is "bitch for no reason." like... that sure isn't a lot to go off of. so like... why? i guess thats kind of the answer in and of itself.
why is he like this? why is he like this?? what made him this way? we know he grew up orphaned, but why? we knew he turned on gyomei's group and ran, but why? we know he trained to be a demon slayer with zen and kuwajima, but why? why, why, why? we just don't know.
we know he's a survivalist. we know that he's willing to go to any lengths, stoop to any lows, just to make it another day. because another day is another chance you get to get them back, to prove them wrong, to rise above it and laugh in their faces and say "see? see what im capable of? bet you feel sorry now."
shame doesnt exist to him. he will make Anything of himself just to make it by. do anything, drop anyone. no connections, impermanence. its clear in flashbacks that, honestly... nobody liked him very much. and like, well, yeah. obviously. he sucks, and he isnt afraid to show it. but isnt that just so strange? broken box of happiness, disatisfaction. he refuses to forge connections, claiming the only people he tolerates are those who respect him, who see his worth.
and that's... the weird thing about him. see, because, the thing is that... i don't fucking believe him for a second. he talks big game, he can back it up, sure, especially as a demon, but... the entire time he talks, every word he says during his confrontation with zen just felt like a bluff. like he's trying to sound threatening, to sound powerful, making a threat display like an animal. every technique he chooses to execute is some new, big, flashy display of his Power, talking, taunting, still taunting.
its a lot of reading between lines, but... this man is a fucking liar. that fight felt different, it felt quick, and well... maybe because it wasn't a fight. this was some guy taking out his anger on someone in a desperate attempt to prove he's worth something.
i just think that this man is a deeply jealous bastard intent on making himself seem larger than he really is, convincing himself that he's the one that's right and it's everyone else that's wrong simply because he can't process just how awful he is.
growing up barely scraping by on his own, of course he'd become painfully self-reliant. of course he would take advantage of anything he could, anyone he could. you'd have to be that self-centered to survive. talk big, act big, nobody will mess with you. nobody can take advantage of you if you take advantage of them first.
and when he gets shown that kindness, being taken in for the first time... of course he'd take advantage of them too. he's hard-wired with instability in mind, so obviously the clear answer is to take what you can and go before something else happens and they get to you first (even if that was never really a threat.) and if they throw you out for it? it's just proof you were right. you were always right, clearly it isn't your fault. and if you happen to throw them under the bus for it... well, obviously they deserved it. there's no reason to think about it anymore.
being with kuwajima was fine. we don't know anything about the earlier days (which im so sad about) but from the looks of it, he was doing fine. about as fine as he could be, at least. he clearly respected him at first, enjoyed being treated as something special, having his work and talents appreciated-- which he did have! he was a staggeringly impressive slayer, but that's an aside-- and even berated zenitsu for supposedly "disrespecting him" by referring to him as jiichan. which. sighs.
so, zenitsu. dynamics Of Ever. honestly, even without the whole Contention there, kai would've just kinda disliked him because he's... motions with hand. look at him. but its the fact that they were considered together that pissed kaigaku off so much. because that implied that they were on the same level when, to him, they so very clearly were not.
zenitsu was annoying. he was weak, whined too much, cried too much, never put in any effot, he was so, so annoying. which made it that much more insulting that jiichan would continue to try to train him. just leave him behind already! he keeps trying to run away, let him! obviously he just isn't good enough. he's not special like he was. and yet, kuwajima kept trying.
and the fact that he did... probably completely went against everything kaigaku saw in the way the world worked. for lack of a better term, he was very "survival of the fittest" minded in that, if you weren't good, you just weren't good. you'd try and struggle and inevitably die off. the world isn't kind, and will take any chance it has to kick you down. that's why you take what you can, when you can.
if you're weak, nobody helps you. if nobody helps you, you either help yourself or die silently. that was what separated the weak and the strong. and you always, always were either one or the other. again, that's his survivalism talking. so, seeing this person he at the very least Respected waste time on some nobody instead of him, expecting something to come of it... well, it was insulting!
and to think that they were even anywhere close enough to put together? to share the title of successor? with this guy? either it meant that kuwajima thought zenitsu was as good as kai was (to him, a laughable idea,) or that kai wasn't any better than some kid who could barely swing a sword. and that was what irritated him the most.
that was the point of their final confrontation. it was kaigaku proving, once and for all, finally, that he was better than zenitsu. was it purely out of hatred for this kid who looked up to him like a brother? was it out of jealousy of someone who got so many kindnesses granted to him despite, to him, not really deserving it? was it just to prove that he was a powerful demon to those who now had their eyes on him, too? whatever it was, at its core... it was laughing in the faces of those who, honestly, genuinely cared about him (and in his eyes, never truly did.)
he could've ended that fight whenever he wanted to-- its even stated in canon that zen wouldve just lost if he was given more time to grow-- but... he just kept showing off. kept talking. it didnt feel like he was using techniques to fit the combat-- it felt like he was showing off what he could do now. he was proving a point. the only thing that stopped him was what he never acknowledged back when they were training together-- that zenitsu did have worth. that he was growing, too. and using what kaigaku refused to acknowledge in him, zenitsu cut him down-- with a symbol of the respect and comraderie that he hoped to have together. a "sorry, aniki."
kaigaku's appearance in canon is less of the role of a character, but as a statement. hes a walking tragedy. he pushes away everything that makes life What It Is in favor of this image of Strength, which is exactly why he becomes-- at first glance-- a caricature. he stops being a person and starts being a Thing. zen tries to keep him in mind as a Person (despite it all) but when he ultimately gives up hope is when the encounter ends. and when kai's role ends as well.
the only thing i still wonder is... does he regret it? in the very depths of his mind, behind all that mess he puts up, after throwing everything away... did he regret it? twice, he was shown care and kindness, and twice he betrayed them. does he know? does he regret it? does he have the capacity to? or has he simply committed so hard to the role he was given-- to the role he put himself in-- that he simply cannot fathom a world in which he was the problem? could it have been different?
put simply... what the fuck is wrong with him?
. anyway, heres a bunch of posts that remind me of him.
#ask game#pikramble#piktalk#kny spoilers#UM. VERY LONG POST; I DID ACTUALLY END UP TALKING FOR HOURS SKJFNKD#IM. SO SORRY. SLEEPER AGENT ACTIVATED. THANK YOU <3333#THERES SO MUCH I DIDNT GO INTO TOO LIKE#his weird 'everyone is either above or below me' thing that he switches btwn on a dime#or how he has his sword on his back-- in a technique so focused on quick drawing--#so committed to doing things his way that hell actively hinder himself and how that reflects his whole character#OR OR OR!!! AUHGUHGG#CANT FUCKING STAND HIM. GOD.#so anyway he's one of my 5 rotating favorites. thankyou <333
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