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norman891 · 3 years

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...

@sleightlyoffhand

Edward sat watching the stars fade as sunrise transformed the blackness to grey, shades of lavender, apricot, gold, then brighter shades of blue. He had been awake over twenty-four hours so far, first hunting and then tending the smokers that were curing and preserving venison, wild turkey, and wild boar for the crew. He had bagged up the jerky as it finished drying first but he didn’t want it overly dry. The hog jowls and belly for bacon should be done in another few hours.

The larger cuts of venison, boar, and the whole turkeys would take a bit longer, probably mid-afternoon. Those men not on guard duty were beginning to wake and were once again feasting on wild boar and some biscuits Victor had baked in a large Dutch oven. Victor brought Edward a plate and a hot cup of tea. The food was appreciated, but the tea was what Edward needed most of all. He could feel his body begin to feel more awake and livelier as he sipped the warm, brown liquid.

The deer hides and rattlesnake skin had been thoroughly cleaned and tanned using animal brains and stretched over frames. They would be ready for use within a few days and the frames could be taken back to the ship. Sinew and bone were saved for future use, and both could be used for a multitude of purposes.

Victor was overseeing the loading of provisions to be taken out to the ship: lard, dried and fresh fruit and mushrooms, fresh and dried corn, and the cured jerky as well as some pots and pans he wouldn’t need on shore anymore today. Edward sent the great kilt back to the ship also. Victor gave him a hearty slap on his back.

“My little Scottie dog, he is damn fine hunter, eh?” His deep voice boomed.

“Thank ye, sir,” Edward replied. “Tis how I helped my Da’ feed my family before he sent me tae Bristol tae apprentice under my Uncle Guy. He had his own butcher shop.”

“Ah,” Victor nodded. “So that is when you were taken by the press gang?”

“Aye,” Edward rubbed the back of his head instinctively. He took another long swig of his tea. “Two damned years on the Flora. I was ne’er so glad to see a black flag in my life as when the Jolly Roger overtook her. God bless Captain Hook for taking me on. I could nae have taken much more on that cursed hulk.”

“Da,” Victor agreed. “Why doesn’t my friend stretch his legs. I’ll watch the smokers for a while. You’ve tended them all night.”

“Thank ye, Victor,” Edward nodded. “I could fair have a good pee I think.” He headed off towards those boulders, smiling to himself, relieving the pressure on his bladder very close to the spot where he and Hook had…. He looked around. He hadn’t seen the captain this morning. He walked towards the tent and discovered Hook still asleep in a hammock set up under the tent.

Edward walked over to check on the guards to see if they’d had a chance to get some breakfast and see what, if anything, had caught their attention. All reported no problems, except for Bill Jukes. He was eyeing a strange bundle of leaves that he hadn’t seen the previous evening.

Edward unholstered Matthew and Mark and cautiously approached the odd shaped bundle. He scanned the surrounding forest carefully, on high alert for a trap set by those horrid little boys, but he saw nothing. He picked the bundle up carefully and discovered it was sticky. Returning to the beach by Jukes, he unwrapped some of the leaves to discover the large chunk of honeycomb.

“Well who would have left that?” Jukes asked, thoroughly confused. “I never closed me eyes last night. Cap’n ‘ll have me flogged for this.” He fretted.

“Nae,” Edward reassured Bill. “I hae a few ideas about where this came from. I think someone be trying tae make a peace offering. Don’t you fret. I’ll take this to Victor, and we can have it with biscuits sometime.”

Victor was thrilled to get the honeycomb and crammed it into his last empty crock, setting it in the longboat to go back to the ship. He sent the fully loaded boat back to the ship to store the provisions in the pantry and galley.

Hook was awake by now and walked down to the shore, watching the boat, now about halfway to the Jolly Roger. He noticed Victor and Edward both liking their fingers.

“And what is so tasty, gentlemen?” he inquired.

“Someone brought us a good hunk of honeycomb,” Victor answered.

“Who?!” Hook demanded.

“It was wrapped in leaves and left about twenty feet inside the forest,” Edward reported. “Jukes spotted it. I hae me own ideas about who brought it.”

“Oh?”

“I think that be a peace offering from the long absent Mr. Haigh, for his disappearing act.” Edward mused. “I di’ nae see the redskins nae those little demons gifting us wi’ perfectly good honey.”

“No,” Hook said thoughtfully, turning to look back at his defenses.

“I di’ nae trust that man, Captain Hook, sir.” Edward continued. “He’s nae a pirate nor a privateer. He’s a bloody no-good mercenary, a killer for hire and he’s nae allegiance tae you or any one o’ us.”

“True…” Hook answered, his eyes scanning the area. Finally, he spied Haigh, reclining comfortably on a small outcropping of rock, overlooking the camp. His anger bristled. “Mr. Haigh!” Hook roared. “Get your ass down here now and explain yourself!”

The rest of the crew all turned to eye Haigh, who was still lounging, quite satisfied on his cozy spot.

“NOW!” Hook roared again. Edward watched the red sparks flicker in Hook’s blue eyes, and Haigh lazily rose to his feet, yawned and stretched.

“Back to your smokers, Mr. Butcher.” Hook ordered. He noted Edward’s concern as he started to return to his position. “It will go better.” Hook said quietly.

Edward returned to the smokers, adding wood chips and checking the doneness of the meat, but still keeping an eye on his captain.

“Today, Mr. Haigh!” Hook roared again. This man’s insubordination in front of most of the crew was a problem he must deal with swiftly.

Victor stood behind Edward. “Here comes trouble,” he stated flatly in his heavy Russian accent.--

#captain hook #neverland #pirates #peter pan 2003 #sleightlyoffhand

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bastianhallix · 2 years

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My Dutch ass keeps misreading Bastian's name as bastogne, which is a very tasty kind of cookie that is sold here. So now I'll associate him with a cookie for all eternity I guess.

bec

because

because he's a snack

#bastian hallix #asks #anonymous

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all-things-skam · 4 years

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Jens’ season: chapter nine

Saturday, February 29th

Feeling the bed shift next to him, a smile broke out on Jens' face as he remembered last night's events. His plans had completely shifted and he couldn't be more happy - sorry, Robbe.

His heart began to swell, filled with endless happiness. He had thought Lucas was asleep when he confessed his feelings to him. That's why Jens allowed himself to say those three words. Given the Dutch boy's steady and slow breathing, he should've been asleep - but he wasn't -, which turned out to be a good thing. If he had been, Lucas wouldn't have reciprocated the words.

Jens felt his smile deepen. Lucas loved him back. Life couldn't be better.

At least, at 8am on a Saturday.

Lucas woke up not long after Jens, both still sleepy but also needy. He nuzzled his face into Jens' neck and along his shoulder, fighting sleep. That boy was really cuddly in the morning. Not that Jens minded.

Jens wished all his mornings would be like this. Warm, lazy and filled with kisses from the prettiest boy. It was as close to a perfect morning as it could get.

Lucas bit Jens' bottom lip and let it go with a 'pop'. ''Do we have any plans for today? Or are we staying in bed all day? Not that I'd mind.''

''We?''

The brunet hummed, blue irises looking up at Jens. ''I told you. It's my mom's weekend. I don't need to go home. I can stay here instead.''

A content smile formed on Jens' lips. ''I'd like that very much.''

Now that Jens had come out to the boys, he could officially introduce Lucas to them, but staying home and keeping Lucas for himself sounded better. Much better.

He leaned down to join their lips together, one of his hands sliding under the blanket and down Lucas' body. His hand was about to slide inside Lucas' boxers when his bedroom door opened and Lotte walked in, forcing their little 'fun' to end before it even started.

''Lucas!'' she squealed, eyes sparkling with joy the second she saw him in her brother's bed. Lotte jumped on the bed with them, clueless about what almost happened. ''I didn't know you were here.''

Lucas forced an awkward smile, cheeks flushed from the situation.

''Does Mama know?''

''Yes.''

Lotte knitted her eyebrows, staring at her brother, trying to figure out if he was lying. ''That's a lie. If she had known, you wouldn't have been startled when I came in.''

Jens groaned. If only she knew why he was startled... ''Lotte, can you go bother someone else? It's 8am, let me go back to sleep.''

''No! Dad left for work so Mama and I are making waffles downstairs.'' She turned to Lucas. ''Are you staying for breakfast, Lucas?''

The brunet cleared his voice. ''I guess I am.''

Grinning, Lotte took Lucas' hand and tugged, trying to drag him out of bed, but the curly haired one stayed under the covers, very aware that he was only wearing underwear. No matter how much he loved Jens' mom and sister, he didn't feel comfortable enough to be walking around like that in front of Jens' family.

''Why don't you go and make sure Mom doesn't burn the pancakes? We'll join you in a minute.''

Sunday, March 1st

Spending the weekend at Jens' made room for a lot of awkward situations.

Yesterday, Lucas almost stumbled into Jens' dad when exiting the bathroom after his shower. Is there any better way to be introduced to someone? Lucas wanted to be swallowed by the ground. Then, he got caught mid-changing by Lotte. Thankfully, his pants were still on.

Their making out session had been cut short this morning when Jens' mom walked in, catching them kissing in Jens' bed. Fenna didn't say anything, both boys being still fully clothed. She just deposited the pile of clean clothes and left, leaving the door wide open instead of just ajar. Message received.

Later in the afternoon, Jens decided to leave the house to get some fresh air - aka freedom.

While he was grateful that his parents agreed to have Lucas spending the weekend over - and sleeping in his bed -, he was tired of his family breathing down his neck or constantly being interrupted by his sister. They couldn't even sleep in or have some morning cuddles without Lotte coming in and jumping on the bed. Jens really needed to learn to lock the door.

It was cloudy and gray outside - a bit cold too -, but Jens wanted some time alone with Lucas. Can you blame him?

Spoon still in his mouth, Lucas hummed, eyes closed. ''This cake.''

''It's good, uh?''

The brunet nodded avidly, cutting another piece of his cake with his spoon. ''You, Belgians know how to make desserts.''

Jens shook his head, smiling. ''You and your sweet tooth...''

As if a cake wasn't sweet enough, Lucas had ordered the sweetest one on the menu: a chocolate mousse cake. Even though Luc had told Jens how much he loved chocolate, he didn't realize until now exactly how big of a sweet tooth he really had.

Jens watched the thick, yet smooth chocolate mousse disappear into the brunet's mouth. He cleared his throat and averted his eyes, reminding himself where they were. He tried to keep his mind from wandering to a dangerous place, but it wasn't easy. It seemed, sometimes, like Lucas made every minor actions somewhat suggestive, and he knew exactly the effect it would have on Jens.

''Want a taste?'' Lucas asked, raising an eyebrow.

Turning his attention back to him, Jens nodded. Why not? He wasn't a big fan of desserts, but the chocolate mousse seemed really tasty. He opened his mouth, ready to taste the sweet desert, but Lucas put the spoon in his own mouth, making Jens frown and pout.

''Hey! That was for me.''

Lucas shrugged. ''Sorry, but this cake is just too good to share.''

''Tease''

Smiling smugly, Lucas blew him a kiss over the table before returning to his plate.

Jens pulled up his phone, snapped a picture of Lucas - he was just too cute to not capture this moment - when a notification from the selling app popped up. ''Yes!''

Lucas glanced at his boyfriend, confused.

''Someone is interested in something I'm selling,'' Jens explained.

''What are you selling?''

''Oh, just games I don't play anymore.'' He shrugged. ''They were collecting dust.''

It wasn't a huge sale. Only some game at 7€, but, it was 7€ less to find to pay back the drugs Lucas had flushed.

Lucas frowned, taking a sip of his fancy coffee. ''Why are you selling your video games online? Can't you go to a game store for that? Jayden does it all the time.''

''Yeah, but they only offer discounts on other games. I need money.''

''What for?''

Jens sighed. He didn't want to involve Lucas any more in his problems, but he already knew about the drugs, so why not. ''Remember when you saved my ass and got rid of the drugs in my locker? Well, my dealer texted me and he wants his money. I have some cash from the weed I sold and other stuff, but what has been flushed needs to be paid too. I can't just tell him I almost got caught and had to get rid of them.''

''I can help. It's partly my fault that you have to repay him.''

Jens shook his head. ''No. It's my fault that I'm caught in this shit.''

''And, it's my fault that they're in the sewers somewhere in Antwerp.'' Lucas paused. ''We could always try to retrieve them...''

Jens wrinkled his nose in disgust. The pills had probably all dissolved by now anyway. ''Ew, gross.''

''So, are you taking my offer?'' Jens hesitated and Lucas smiled at him. ''You can pay me back if you want to. In cash or...other,'' he added, winking over the table.

''I'll think about it.''

Monday, March 2nd

''What the fuck, man? Why did you shoot me?''Jens asked through the headphone's mic as his character received a bullet to the chest.

''Sorry, I thought it was Aaron.''

Jens laughed, looking around on his TV screen to find Aaron and shoot him, laughing harder as he did so.

''Hey! Why is everyone trying to kill me?''

''Because it's fun,'' Moyo responded.

paused his video game when he saw Michiel's name on the screen. He bit his lip anxiously before opening the message.

Michiel: Where's my cash, kid? Ghosting me won't work. I need it by Thursday. Or else...

Jens stared at the screen for what felt like a lifetime. Michiel was now threatening him. Jens had to do something quick or he was going to be in real danger. Who knew what Michiel - or his men - were capable of? He couldn't tell Lucas why he had suddenly changed his mind and he felt bad for asking his boyfriend for money - Lucas wasn't his personal banker -, but he needed the money sooner rather than later.

Jens: Is your offer still standing? I don't think I'll sell enough shit by Thursday

Lucas: I told you I'd help, didn't I?

Lucas: When do you need it for?

Jens: Thursday

Lucas: Want me to come with?

Jens: No. I'll be fine

Lucas: Is that supposed to be reassuring?

Jens: I'll be fine, Luc

Lucas: Okay... but I want you to text me when you get there and when you leave just so I know you are safe

Jens: 👍

Wednesday, March 4th

The television was playing loudly when Fenna returned from work, some sort of anime on the big screen. She furrowed her eyebrows at the unfamiliar characters, her heart aching at the explicit content flashing across the screen. How can teenagers watch that?

''Sorry for finishing so late. There was a big car accident and I had to do extra time to help,'' she explained, removing her jacket and setting her bag down. ''Did Lotte eat already?''

''No, I let her starve,'' the teenager answered from the couch.

Fenna gave her son a look. ''Jens...''

He flashed his mother a smile. ''I'm joking. I reheated last night's leftovers.''

''Good. Where's is she?''

''Upstairs playing in her room. Want me to tell her to come down?''

Before he could call Lotte down, Fenna shook her head. ''No. That's good, actually. I wanted to talk to you.''

Jens frowned, trying to read his mother's face but failing. She came around to sit on the couch and he turned down the volume of the television.

''You...you were right. About your father. He lied to my face about this job, he lied to all of us.'' Fenna closed her eyes, her husband's lie still fresh.

She had gone to see Mohamed on her lunch break between shifts since the hospital wasn't far from his new office - and he wasn't answering his phone. When Fenna got there, she asked to see him and was told that he didn't work there and never had.

''After a lot of difficult thinking, I made a decision and I wanted you to be the first to know about it. Your father and I will be separating.''

''As in a divorce?''

Fenna nodded slowly. She didn't want to get a divorce - nobody does. Divorce felt like a failure to a lot of people. But, it was the right choice to make. ''I still love your father, but sometimes love isn't enough. Money might not buy happiness, but without money, we can't live in this house.''

''We?'' Jens repeated. ''That means we're going to...move?''

Exhaling a breath, Fenna nodded sadly. ''I didn't want to. I did everything in my power to stay here, but I can't afford this house on my own.''

Jens swallowed thickly, a wave of sadness flowing in. He wasn't one to get attached to things, but loved this house. He spent his whole life here. Every corner and walls held a memory. The staircase where he broke his arm when he fell with his bike when he was five, the dining room table where him and his mom used to sit and work on his spelling homework, his bedroom where he had his first makeout session and the place he lost his virginity.

''What about Dad?''

He didn't want to be insensitive, but where will his father go? Clearly, he won't be following them after the divorce.

''His brother lives in Liège, he'll be staying with him for a moment. Or, so he said.''

Jens nodded. Maybe a change of scenery will be good for him. Maybe it'll help him get back on track.

Thursday, March 5th

His hands were clammy as he crossed the street, seeing Michiel's building in his line of sight. After his parents' divorce announcement, Jens wasn't in the mood to meet with Michiel, but he didn't really have the choice. Michiel had been clear: he wanted his money. He didn't care whatever was happening in Jens' personal life.

All the money was in his left pocket, feeling heavy, and a worried Lucas was in the other, sending him texts every ten seconds.

Jens stood on the doorstep and rang the doorbell, stress growing in his stomach. He bit his lip as he waited, going still when the door opened and the same big guy who was there the first time stood there.

''Long time no see,'' he pointed out.

''Is Michiel here? I have his money.''

The man nodded and let Jens in, the door shutting loudly behind.

''So, it's over? No more drug dealing shit?''

Jens hummed. ''It's over.'' He kissed Lucas in the middle. ''No more drug dealing shit.''

Lucas rolled his eyes at the small mockery. ''Good.'' He sighed, relieved.

After leaving Michiel's, Jens came over to Lucas' to reassure him and take advantage of Mr. Van Der Heijden being at work. They hadn't had a lot of alone time during the weekend despite Lucas sleeping over, so it was nice to be just the two of them again.

Lucas led them to the couch and cuddled against Jens, being the cuddle-bear he will never admit to be. Some things were just for Jens and him to know.

''I could fall asleep right here and now,'' Lucas pointed, closing his eyes as Jens played with his curls, twirling the soft ringlets between his fingers.

''Am I that much of a bore? Because I can go home if-''

Clutching a fistful of Jens' hoodie, Lucas made a protest noise. ''Don't you dare.''

Jens laughed and kissed his forehead, feeling Lucas pulling him in closer. He was keenly aware of Lucas' wants and needs and cuddling was Lucas' unspoken signal of reassurance that he would always be there for him.

''So, now that you've met my family, when am I going to meet yours?'' Jens asked, mildly teasing, breaking the comfortable silence first.

Lucas grew quiet, staring down at the carpet in front of the couch, the shades of browns and greys suddenly very interesting.

''Do you...not want me to meet your parents or something?'' Jens asked, silently hoping it wasn't that.

The brunet sat up, removing himself from Jens' hold. ''No, no. That not- It's just, I've never introduced someone to my parents...like that.''

''You mean a guy?''

''No girls either, if it reassures you,'' Lucas added with a bit of humor.

''You've told your mom about me, though?''

''Yes, but it's complicated. With my mom, we can't just schedule a date and have dinner all together. She might get anxious or she can- So many things can go wrong.''

''Or it could go well.''

Lucas sighed, moving away from his boyfriend's touch. ''Jens...''

''And, your dad?''

‘’My dad’s a dick. I only moved with him because the judge said I had to. It was that or going to a foster family. My dad might be a dick, but he’s not the worst. There’s kids out there that need fostering more than me, some who are stuck in abusive families or even orphans. I would’ve felt bad for taking someone’s place. Entering the foster system would’ve also meant not seeing my mom anymore and I can’t renounce to that.’’ Lucas paused, swallowing his emotions. ‘’She needs me. I’m all she has left. I can’t do that to her.’’

By the way his voice was strained, Jens could tell that it was still a difficult subject. Lucas was close to his mother. Hearing his story made Jens wonder how bad her mental illness was. If a judge had declared her inapte to take care of him, it must be serious. It was also so sad to hear that her husband had completely pushed her out of his life just because of her mental illness. She was lucky to have a son like Lucas.

As much as he wanted to meet Lucas’ parents, it wasn’t worth putting Lucas - nor his parents - in this state. Causing trouble in his boyfriend’s family wasn’t what Jens wanted.

He shook his head. ‘’Forget what I said, okay? I’ll meet them when you’re ready. No pressure.’’ He flashed Lucas a small smile which got reciprocated.

Lucas nodded, grateful to have someone as understanding as Jens. ‘’I love you.’’

‘’I love you,’’ Jens repeated, pulling the smaller one back into his hold.

Friday, March 6th

‘’Is Lucas coming?’’ Aaron asked, leaning against the kitchen counter.

Jens nodded, taking a sip of his beer. ‘’He said he’s on his way.’’

An eager smile spread on Aaron’s lips. ‘’So, I’m gonna meet him?’’ he added, unable to contain his excitement.

‘’You’ve met Lucas before...’’

‘’Yeah, but not as your boyfriend. This is a big deal-’’

‘’Aaron…’’

He shrugged. ‘’What? I didn't say it the other day, but I’m happy for you. I liked Jana, but Lucas is much cooler. At least he skates with us instead of sitting and watching.’’

Jens raised an eyebrow. ‘’Cooler than Sander?’’

‘’Don’t push.’’

After Robbe, Aaron was Sander’s biggest fan. He was never shy to voice how much admiration he had for him whether it was his flirting tactics, his confidence, romantic gestures or how good looking he was. It even became a running joke in the gang that if Sander wasn't already taken by Robbe, the curly haired one would tempt his chance.

‘’Your boy is here,’’ Aaron pointed out, nudging Jens as he saw Lucas walking in.

Jens looked up, watching as Lucas squeezed a path between the dancing girls in the living room and some shotgun drinkers. He grimaced at the mess it was making on the floor and scanned the room, trying to find his boyfriend, fastening his pace when he spotted him and Aaron in the kitchen.

Jens greeted him with a kiss, getting some cooing from Aaron. Could he be more annoying? Lucas leaned into Jens as the latter hooked an arm over his shoulder, pulling him close.

‘’So, you’re Jens’ boyfriend?’’

Jens rolled his eyes and groaned. ‘’Let’s go look for Moyo and Robbe.’’

They all sat in the bathroom, passing around weed and booze, like the old days. Moyo had brought some weed and smoke was rapidly filling the bathroom as they all blew their thick, grey puffs into the air.

It was the first time they all hung out together - Lucas and Sander included. Jens and Lucas squeezed in next to Robbe and Sander in the tub, laughing as Aaron vented about his latest romantic gesture that turned into an epic fail. Honestly, when does it not?

''I had the room all set up and everything,’’ he explained. ‘’Candles, flower petals, her favorite scented bath stuff, but then her mom came home and ruined my surprise before we could even get in the water. I tried telling Amber that we can still go in, but she said it was too weird if her mom was in the house.’’

Amber’s bathtub. Lucas shared glances with Jens, memories of their first kiss flowing in.

Sander sighed. ‘’Robbe’s the same, he won’t-’’

Knowing where this was going, Robbe didn’t let Sander finish his sentence, covering his mouth with his hand before he could say any more, refusing to let this turn into another let’s tell Aaron about our sex-life episode.

‘’Why did you stop? It was getting interesting,’’ Aaron complained.

‘’Quit encouraging Sander into telling you stuff. It’s private.’’

‘’And weird,’’ Jens added, backing his best friend.

‘’You’re the one who used to brag about sex-’’

Jens rolled his eyes. ‘’I don't brag…’’

He did tell everyone about losing his virginity and the sex he had with Jana - what else does fifteen years old do? And, he ranted about that toothpaste tip...a lot, but he wasn’t on Aaron’s level of bragging.

‘’Well, if you really want to know, there’s this amazing thing Jens does with his-’’ Lucas stopped himself, a smug grin on his lips. ‘’Did you really think I was going to tell you?’’

‘’I like him,’’ Moyo commented, giving Lucas a high five.

The gesture didn’t go unnoticed by Jens. It was nice to see that Lucas was integrating well into their group.

“So, since we have two new guys in the group, maybe we should get to know you both better?” Aaron suggested, waiting for his turn to take a puff.

“Dude, why do you always have to be in everyone's business?” Moyo asked.

''Don’t you know Sander enough already? You've pestered him with questions ever since Robbe said they were dating,’’ Jens said, making Robbe laugh.

Lucas felt his phone buzz and reached into his pocket to see who it was. Noting the number, he silenced the call and put his phone back in his pocket, returning his attention to the boys.

Aaron shrugged. “I’m just trying to get to know my best friends' boyfriends. If they are important to them, I want to get to know them better and let them know we care enough to get to know them.”

Sander snorted. “How profound and thoughtful of you, Aaron. I feel much more appreciated.”

Robbe laughed as Jens grabbed the joint from Moyo and took a hit. He had hesitated at first, remembering recent events, but figured that weed was a better coping method than Xanax. And, he wasn’t going to let himself get so high. Just a couple puffs to have a nice buzz.

He was about to hand it to Lucas when his phone went off - again. Sighing, Lucas pulled it out of his jacket and frowned.

‘’Gotta take this. It’s the third time he’s called, it must be important. I’ll be right back.’’

Jens nodded and watched as Lucas rose to his feet, leaving Jens’ side and headed outside to answer the phone call in a more quiet place.

The second the door closed, Sander whistled. ‘’I didn’t believe Robbe when he told me you two got together. Does he still steal your fries?’’

Rolling his eyes, Jens shook his head.

Minutes later, the door opened and Lucas’ face was worried and distraught, his previous lightness and drunken happiness completely gone.

Jens furrowed his eyebrows. ‘’Luc?’’ He sat up, recognizing a frantic and panicked behavior.

‘’I-I gotta go,’’ he simply said, ignoring Jens’ question and grabbing his jacket on the edge of the tub before leaving again, not saying ‘bye’ to anyone.

The boys watched confusedly and gave Jens a look, but the latter wasn’t paying attention to them, his eyes focused solely on Lucas. Jens stood, handing the joint back to Robbe, and went after his boyfriend, wondering what he had been told on the phone that made him want to leave the party so fast.

He didn't catch up to him until they were outside, the amount of people inside the house made it difficult to get a hold of Lucas. The evening wind hit his face the second he stepped out, sending a shiver down Jens’ back. He grabbed Lucas’ arm when he was close enough to reach and made him stop.

‘’Slow down, Luc. Why are you leaving?'' he asked, releasing his arm.

Lucas turned around, eyes filled with tears but he fought them. ''My dad. He said-'' He interrupted himself, shaking his head, voice trembling and faulty as he spoke.

Jens frowned, going immediately into comforting mode. Something was up, but the Dutch boy was talking so fast and the panic in his voice made it more difficult for Jens to understand what he was saying.

He lifted Lucas' chin, catching sight of his glassy blue eyes. ''Hey...tell me what’s going on. I can’t help you or understand if you don’t tell me.’’

‘’My mom. It’s- She’s going to be admitted to a clinic, I… I have to go.’’

#van der stoffels #jens's season #jens stoffels #lucas van der heijden #wtfock #vds #skam nl #jens x lucas #lucas x jens

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veterinaryshitposting · 5 years

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Is the 'Top 5' ask still open? If so , what's your Top 5 Cattle breeds? Either dairy or beef is purely up to you! You run an amazing blog! - an aspiring vet assistant.

hi! thank you! my inbox is always open and i love the Top Five Anything thing :)

right off the bat im going to have to go with the Drakensberger. i am prejudiced in favor of this breed since this is what my family farm with. they are excellent mothers, not batshit crazy and do very well in extensive farming. its also a breed developed in South Africa. my family’s farm is located in the Drakensberger Corridor in the northern Free State, South Africa. my grandfather tried farming with Limousines and Jerseys, among others, and he found the Drakensberger to be the best adapted to that area. they look like your typical black beef bovine, but if you want to be picky, you could say they have a slighter frame. they still produce top notch beef. here’s one of my uncle’s calves:

next would be the Jersey cow. they are the prettiest ladies on the planet and produce very tasty milk. my favorite dairy, Jasmyn, has a genetic award winning Jersey herd and they are a pleasure to work with. JERSEY BULLS DO NOT COUNT

i really like Anguses. they’re a great uniform beef breed, good mothers, the bulls aren’t overly aggressive and they’re overall easy to work with, considering that most of them are extensive beef animals that are handled not very often

another breed growing on me is the Italian Chianina. i’ve never met one but i would really like to. i think they are also very pretty

“oh” you say “its…white. i guess that’s sorta special?”

well yes. but look at them compared to a hooman:

this is Angelo

this is Dazzo

they’re apparently quite gentle creatures. i love their black snoots and the fact that they look like they’re wearing eyeliner. (all these photos come from O-La-La-Chianina, a farm in Mpumalanga)

lastly, the Afrikaner. this is a breed very close to my heart as its origin runs parallel to the history of my people. they’re the cattle that were used to pull ox wagons all the way from the cape, over mountains, away from the Dutch and the British. Like Afrikaans people, they are incredibly stubborn

this is an Afrikaner ox. what a magnificent bastard. he’s about 9 years old and can plow and pull an ox wagon. he lives on a farm called Sandstone on the Lesotho border

“but veterinaryshitposting, you live in africa, what about ngunis and so on?”

you’re absolutely right. i really like ngunis, brahmans, whatusis, etc. FROM A DISTANCE. these animals are incredibly well adapted to their native habitats but they are an absolute pain in the ass to work woth. nguni’s are tough as nails and just as hard headed. they, along with brahmans, ARE CRAZIER THAN AN ON HEAT HEIFER all their lives. they are not cattle, they are wild animals. these things are olympic champions at jumping out of crushes, going down in crushes, sitting on each other in crushes and nailing you with their horns. and boy do they have horns.

unfortunately, i get to suck it up because these Bos Indicus breeds and their crosses are what we work with the most on rural areas. here’s one i got to TB test today:

#navithecat-lilspoiledbrat #veterinary shitposting #top five #cow #cows #beef cattle #i had to pull out my stud book #it was fun

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esmiblood90irisglimmer · 5 years

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You Were My Wife Too (Hamilton fanfic)

A continuing series of Alexander Hamilton Single Father AU. Let's get started shall we

Everything has been going quite for the past ten years for the single father, Alexander Hamilton. Ever since the night since he and his wife separated leaving him raising eight kids alone. Tough luck at work, living off with paychecks to paychecks it was a good amount, but having to raise children isn’t cheap to bring food on the table. Not to mention with the rent bill, car payment, phone bill, and etc. Having to get two more jobs until suddenly when Alexander received a phone call from his brother who believes perish from an illness. After James and Alexander were finally reunited on the Caribbean Island of Nevis. Packing basically all the clothes and necessary accessories before returning back to his homeland. Took about 4 or 5 years when living back in Nevis in order to get back on their feet. Luckily, all those pay off and now the Hamilton brothers were returning back to New York City.

Soon another 5 years later is when Philip, Angelica, AJ, and James were finally graduating high school. And decided to take a year break from school in order to help with their father. Even though he wanted them to go straight to college after summer vacation but gracefully accepted their help. Since with the bakery becoming busier and not to mention expanding/ remodeling it. Due to the old shops shut down and with him buying both of them. It would be nice for business in order to receive more money. Not only that but also saving bits by bits in order to send his younger set of quadruplets to college as well. So far everything was good as the summer was ending with the school year on its way back. John, Williams, Eliza, and PJ are now entering their junior years filled with excitement into seeing their old friends at school. Also having another year left to becoming seniors and graduating from high school. As that time come for the younger quadruplet head back to school.

Meanwhile, the first set of the quadruplet is helping Alexander with the design and what to add on the new menu. It’s was a lot of work not to going lied, since not only the walls that separate the former shops. Into combing toward one huge ass bakery. Over six months have passed on with the remodeling complete new designs chairs, tables, booths, the kitchen expanded, also the countertop as well. Even going as well as setting up a display glass of old and new pastries treats. The reopening was a huge success which leads to not a 100, not 200, not even 300!!. Turns out to be almost 900 or more customers have arrived at the re-grand opening. It was so busy than what the single father, his children, and employee have expected.

This lasted about more six hours than anyone could’ve ever expected which brought everyone down to their knees. Philip, his siblings, and follow co-worker were exhausted to the bones. They just drop to the ground to the ground, literally. From the early morning of 9 a.m. toward almost 3:30 p.m. The single father/owner was exhausted as well but decided to bake a grand marble cake for his teams. He couldn’t be even more proud of his teams and in order to celebrate their hard work. They have been his ride or die crew since the beginning of opening his bakery. By the time since the customer died down and having to be empty for an hour. The younger quadruplet joins in the fun while eating the cake as well. Everything was going well, Alexander has re-open his bakery business, the first quadruplet finally graduating from high school. About to head to college after a year and soon his second quadruplet will reach their senior year.

Yea, everything was going extremely well until tonight as Alexander and his children were eating dinner. The deliciousness of McDonald's of their tasty fries and McNuggets. Suddenly a knock at the door which the father proceeds to open while the late teens continuing eating.

“What are you doing here?” the single father barked

The eight teens froze and head over who was at the door since knowing their father only use that tone if he’s angry. This was beyond of anger or frustration they ever since seeing the fiery flames in Hamilton’s eyes. Gulping nervously before seeing that in front of their father. It was...their mother...Elizabeth Schuyler Hamilton... who left them alone in the middle of the night. Not bothering to wait till her ex-husband came late from work. Which lead not only a divorce but also a short custody battle since she shown with neither of those things. Philip, on the verge of a panic attack just cling onto Angelica. The two oldest siblings were always close since the beginning of their life. They just couldn’t understand why their mother...their own...flesh and blooded...didn’t want them. Now all of sudden she is out of all places. Not to mention she is with her new wife!! And a five-year-old little girl who’s is just waving at them as if it’s a happy family reunion.

“Alexander...please....hear me out” Elizabeth pleaded

“There’s nothing to hear, Eliza!!” Alexander shouted

“I know. I mess up...but Susan....she’s the kids' sister...they deserve to meet each other”

As the eight teenagers watch their father seeing the little oblivious to the intention that was filling in the air. That beautiful girl just smiles with a burst of innocent laughter at the Caribbean immigrant. The conflict appears in his dark brown eyes which lasted about thirty seconds but felt like hours. The single father relents let the two mothers and daughter inside the apartment. No words were spoken at all until the adults were sitting in the living room. Philip and the others just stood behind Alexander. None of them wanted to breathe or say at least a word. Just waiting for anyone to speak luckily someone did.

“Eliza, why now for your daughter to finally meet Philip and the others?” Alexander question

“M...Maria and I thought it was time for Susan to know who’s her siblings are. She kept looking pictures of the kids. And I couldn’t keep lying anymore”

“That’s all?”

“No, there’s more,” said Maria

Alexander and the children looked at the mysterious and beautiful woman who was holding hands with Eliza. The Dutch lady looks down while biting her lower lip. This doesn’t look like a good sign. What’s more, is there? She and her new wife already got permission for the teenagers to see their new little sister. Hopefully, it’s just a small money problem which the immigrant can happily give to them. Alexander may be angry at his ex-wife and her wife but is not a monster. A couple hundreds of dollars from here and there since his mother has been in their shoes before. Sometimes to relied on friends and family for money which is hard and embarrassing. He doesn’t want them to struggle with money and is willing to help out and perhaps reconcile and move on from the past.

Taking a deep breath, whatever the situation is Alexander willing to let them at the apartment for a couple of weeks. Maybe even months to get back on their feet. Perhaps he could even give them a part-time job at the bakery. Helping two mothers with their little girl could probably bring the family together once again.

“Whatever you need, I’ll be able to help you out,” said Alexander

“We’re wondering if we can have legal full custody of the younger quadruplets” Maria stated

This cause Alexander to immediately to spit out of the coffee he was suddenly drinking. John, Williams, Eliza, PJ instantly race toward their father and practically begging him not to take away from. Out of all the things that Eliza or Maria could have to ask for, money, clothes, a place to stay, or even a job. That’s fine with him, but taking his darling children is another thing. For the past ten years, Alexander Hamilton has been through thick and thin for those kids since the beginning of their ten years journey. He worked three jobs in New York before returning to the Caribbeans. Taking not a waiter job that barely pays the minimum wage but also did underground boxing matches. He could’ve gone either jail or worse even prison where his children could’ve been taken away from him. Being placed on the foster household. Despite James, being his older brother but that wouldn’t matter since he isn’t a resident for the States.

What did Eliza do ever since the divorce was going the process and finalize? Nothing, never having interaction with the kids for the past ten years. She didn’t even bother to write them letters, send them birthday, or even bother giving them a single phone call. Now, she wants to take part of his pride and joy away from him. What makes her or Maria to ever think it was alright to take the younger quadruplet away from his grasp? Over his damn dead body, he left them to take away from him.

“What makes you think that you can walk in here? My apartment, and say...”Oh, can we take John, Williams, Eliza, PJ away from you? So they can live with us?” As if, I’m letting you take my kids away. You both didn’t even contact in any sort of way during the past ten years? Now all of sudden, you wanted to raise your kids that you toss aside as if they were garbage never even looking back!!!!” Alexander spatted

“Look, I know this may seem out of nowhere, but please understand. Susan needs her older siblings to be there with her. It may be too late to have a relation with Philip, Angelica, AJ, and James but we hope it’s not too late with the younger quadruplet. We wanted to create a family of our own” Maria replied

“Well, how about finishing the one you started first, Eliza.!!!” Philip shouted

“Hey!!! Don’t you yell at your mo...”

“Shut up, Maria!!!!” Alexander interrupted Maria while booming his voice quite loudly. The teens were in shock of hearing their father shouting like that. Of course, he yells at them and strangers but not in this tone before. Everything went quiet while Susan rushes toward her mother on the verge of tears in silent. The glare he gave to those women was the deadliest glare those kids have ever seen. If looks can kill then Alexander Hamilton might as well set up the whole earth on fire. But that didn't compare to when he was staring at Eliza with such intense glare while Philip and Angelica got in the middle of them. Afraid that one of the adults might do something that they’ll regret.

“This isn’t even about you. This is it about you, Elizabeth” Alexander bluntly spoke. Grabbing multiple pictures he hid in the coffee table drawers before slamming down in front of Eliza.

“This is what about I did as a single father for the past decade. Philip, he became Valedictorian of 2019 and got accepted into Havard. Angelica becomes the first female at school to become Student President but also saving a dying baby by donating blood. AJ decided that he’s not going instead got accepted into the Marines to serve for our family and our country. James not only got accepted four Ivy lead universities and is majoring in Psychology and is on the national honor society. John is slowly not only the first one in the family going to university but is graduating from Baylor at the age of 17 while majoring in computer science. Williams won multiple dirt bike races since the age of 14, not only that winning states champion but also national as well. Eliza got the lead role in a well known Broadway shows not to mention focusing her future career of becoming a forensic scientist. PJ, my youngest child, who is now at the top of his class for 2020 but got a scholarship for a well-known culinary school in order to take the family bakery once I died. THEY BECAME SUCCESSFUL AND THEY DID IT THROUGH ALL THE HARDSHIP!!! I DID A FUCKING GREAT JOB NO THANK TO YOU CAUSE YOU WEREN’T THERE FOR THEM!!!”

Eliza let out a sobbing gasp while Alexander explains all the success her children did without her. They made it their missions in order to be successful just not to make themselves proud for what they did. Also, in order to show Alexander, the best father that anyone could ask for to show all sort of appreciation. All the shit he through with the gossiping and being toss around left and right. That didn’t stop him from being the father that all not even damn depression even it’s kill him. Luckily, James and AJ took their baby sister outside to play before their father long rant. Believing it wasn’t the best idea for Susan to witness arguing with a strange man that she doesn’t know is her stepfather. Just being an innocent five years old who has nothing to do with the family drama that is spinal down as we speak.

Wiping the tears away as Eliza knew that her ex-husband was right. At the beginning after leaving her ex and children behind with just a single note. Never explaining why she just drop and go with the wind. As if she never existed in the first, but how do you explain having an affair while being married. Not to mention, thinking about how would the children react to how their mommy is kissing another woman and not Daddy. How do you explain that to a child that was barely 9 and 6 years old at the time? But, doesn’t excuse her bullshit not wanting to call Alexander so she and he can see when they can children on which week. What time to pick them up, and where should get the kids every other week. Though she did none of this at all, no letters, no calls, and no nothing at all. Trying not to go full-on meltdown while taking a few deep breaths while replying toward Alexander rant of their children succeed.

“I appreciate it and I mean every word, Alexander. I apologize for everything and the pain that I cause for you and the kids. I know that it’s too late for me to have a bond with Philip and the others. But I hope that I can be a perfect mother for John, Williams, Eliza, and PJ. I still have some time off for them to be their mother” Eliza responded

“They don’t even know you!!”

“I’m their mother!!!”

“YOU WERE MY WIFE TOO!!!!”

Eliza stood in shock and frozen by Alexander statement watching those teardrops falling out of his eyes. He’s right. She was his wife as well, before eloping with Maria. Years later, they’re married and finally got a chance to have a daughter with her wife. Yet, never thought of any of the consequences which lead Alexander going through hardship with their kids. Assuming that they be better without her in their lives. Didn’t think twice of what her actions may cause for her ex-husband and the children as well. Philip, Angelica, Alexander Jr, James, John, Williams, Eliza, and PJ were only 9 and 6 years old. At a young age when they needed their mother the most. As any young kids, they’ll be confused, scared, and wondering if this is their fault. Sometimes convincing themselves that their mom just went a long trip for work and would be coming back home. Despite knowing the fact that she isn’t coming back never again.

Looking at her children who couldn’t bear to stare at her in the eyes for more than a millisecond. Trying reach toward her younger quadruplet hoping they can forgive her. Instead, they back away and rush toward their father while shaking in fear. They were scared of being taken away from the only parental figure they have ever known for their entire childhood. Could she really do that to them, to Alexander? Looking at Maria while giving a somewhat telepathy agreement. Perhaps, it’s better to let all eight teenagers stay with their father. Susan rushed toward before jumping into Maria's arms with pure joy and happiness.

“Alright,...I understand. We’ll leave....”Eliza stated

“Good, now get out” Alexander spatted venomously

Gathering everything they needed before exiting out of the apartment before Hamilton slam the door. Dropping down onto his knees trying to keep himself from breaking down. Thousands of weights have been lifted off their shoulders and pray to God their peace can come over with the family again.

Thank you for reading it and hope you all enjoy it

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g0dtier · 5 years

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egg with biscuit or whatever? fine. pancakes? fucking amazing, i love american pancakes. bagels? love em. french toast? amazingly tasty even though the dutch name for them (tumblebitches) is way better. hash browns? little heavy on the stomach but ok. eggs and bacon? sure, bacon aint too heavy and neither are eggs

but the moment you add a fucking heavy ass meaty ass sauce to a breakfast food youre insane. fuck you biscuits and gravy. who the HELL eats sausage for breakfast

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allykat4416 · 5 years

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Trip Report: DoPa, Dutch, & HP

Date: August 12, 2019

In which Ally achieves peak credit-whoring through Penna on the road to making her 200th a day she can actually look back on with fondness instead of murderous intent, and also gushes over blue-and-yellow coasters in said state.

This is going to be a weird trip report for me, since I’ve been to both of the major parks and written up about them on here before. Dutch Wonderland isn’t a park that’s geared for people like me, so therefore, I’m not going to have too much to say about it either. But here goes nothing.

Dorney is still probably my least favorite Cedar Fair park, but it’s still by no means bad. I also have a newfound appreciation for it due to reading John Hildebrandt’s memoir. Though the book focuses more on Cedar Point (and again, filled me with strong yearning for a life pre-Steve; we truly didn’t know what we had), he did serve as Dorney’s GM for a season. The fondness that he used when he spoke about the park was palpable, and it made me soften on it a bit more.

Thunderhawk is an old coaster, and I’m glad I finally got to it. It was definitely the best new credit of the day at the park, but when your only competition is a Zamperla family coaster and a wild mouse that I otherwise would never have waited that long for, it’s really easy to come out on top. I have a soft spot for these historic rides. If they could talk, I wonder what sort of stories they’d have to tell. While it’s by no means my favorite in the park, it’s certainly a strong addition to Dorney’s lineup.

Woodstock Express is a paint-by-numbers kiddy coaster, and it’s good for the purpose it was intended for. Wild Mouse was pretty garbage, honestly, but I think I’m bitter because of the wait and the line-jumpers. (I saw you, Karen. I’ll speak to your manager next.) The trains were cute and the painted cat was stacked like nobody’s business. This is also where we were Rick Rolled. It wasn’t all bad, but it was still pretty awful.

Hydra sucked a little less than last time, because I knew to ride defensively. When compared to Firebird or Batman (who I’ll get to on the next report), it seems better. But in the shadow of Bizarro and Dominator, it still doesn’t stand a chance. I respect the unique layout, and there was definitely less pain since I was bracing like crazy, but I’m still not 100% sold on it. It’s about on-par with Rougarou for me.

Possessed is still great. Nothing more to say there. Steel Force is simultaneously still great, and while I’ve grown a massive preference to Magnum over this past year (give it up to the only coaster in Ohio with batshit ejector, we stan Maggo with all our thigh bruises), I really do enjoy Steel Force. Likewise, Talon remains my favorite in the park and yes, my second-favorite invert. I have absolutely zero idea why I like this ride as much as I do, but Talon really does make me irrationally happy.

Dutch Wonderland was a pit-stop for credit whoring. I’m not proud to admit that I, as 23-year-old woman, actively went to Dutch Wonderland. Joust is just a repeat of Woodstock. Merlin’s Mayhem is surprisingly good, and has me interested for Dragon Flyer at my favorite park. Kingdom Coaster is the standout of the park and the closest it has to a ride with teeth. They’re still baby teeth, but at least the coaster itself is pretty. Dutch Wonderland just isn’t a park for me, and that’s okay. I’m not in the target demographic for anything there anymore.

Hershey was a quick 2.5 hours, but we got a surprising amount done. I grabbed two new credits: Wild Mouse and Trail Blazer. Both of them, again, are fine at what they do. Wild Mouse here is much better compared to its neighbor in Allentown. Lightning Racer is every bit as good as I remembered, and it even gave us free entertainment by way of a guest altercation in the station. Wildcat still sucks major ass. Guys... just call RMC already. I sadly missed Great Bear and Fahrenheit, but I hope they know I love them both a bunch.

Storm Runner changed restraints to the soft, 305-style kind. This was something I had wanted in my 2015 report, and I’m very happy to say it really makes the ride that much better for me. Storm Runner has such a punchy launch, I low-key prefer it to the stratas’, and the layout with the soft restraints gets you ragdolled properly. It’s easily my second favorite in the park now.

And then there’s SkyRush. Intamin really didn’t have to go that hard, but they did and I appreciate it every day. While it isn’t better to me than, say, Lightning Rod or STR, I do definitely have it over other rides I love dearly like Maverick, Magnum, and TwiTimb. If you went to Hersheypark and didn’t get your legs broken by SkyRush, did you even go?

I can safely say SkyRush is both my favorite coaster in the park and in the whole state of PA. You guys are just cowards. Tasty laterals, very tasty ejector, somehow even more awesome on the wing seats. I only got one ride, but with the announcement of Candymonium (which I’m kind of indifferent to, but hey), I know I’ll be back to get rushed like a motherfucker again.

#trip reports #I will fucking deck anyone who shit talks skyrush that ride is bonkers in the best of ways

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gingerandwry · 5 years

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Rio de Janeiro, Brazil - Week 1

The bus ride from Paraty to Rio was easy and uneventful. The road runs along the coast, but unfortunately the view is mostly obscured by overgrowth. I caught some dramatic, beautiful glimpses, but Brazil could learn from California and Australia. Upon arrival at my Ipanema AirBnB, I took a breath then settled in for two weeks of adventure....

My friends Scott and Tony had left Paraty a couple days early to come to Rio, so I met them for drinks and dinner Saturday night. We walked to a lively, popular-with-millenials section of Leblon and ate dinner at CT Boucherie, an established steakhouse-ish restaurant that was fantastic (and a great value for how much we ate and drink). Those guys had had a big night on Friday so we all turned in early.

And it’s good we did since Scott had a full day planned for us. We started at Parque Lage for breakfast at their famous restaurant. It occupies the courtyard of a crumbling mansion (now an art school) and sits just below Rio’s most famous landmark, Christ the Redeemer. It’s a setting made for Instagram, and everyone certainly took advantage of that. The food was pretty tasty for a place that could easily half-ass it. After breakfast we walked around the park a bit and saw our first monkeys!

We then walked through Jardim Botanico, which appears to be the Beverly Hills of Rio. We walked through the Botanical Gardens as well, which are lush and beautiful. I think the most striking element were the massive tree trunks, some of which formed walls rising several feet above the ground.

From here we traveled back to Ipanema’s Praca General Osorio for the famous “Hippie Fair”, an arts and crafts market. I’m not sure what the big deal is-- it seems like every other crafts market I’ve seen. Afterwards the guys went to the beach, but I needed some literal chill time in front of a fan, so I lay low at my apartment for a while. We met up again for dinner at Zaza, a delicious Moroccan restaurant. It was the guys’ last night, but we were all pretty beat, so we called it early after a couple more beers.

Monday was shopping day, both clothes and groceries. I am not a beach person, and I was not prepared for how beached out Rio is. Even at nighttime in nice restaurants, people are in t-shirts, shorts and flip-flops. I needed some more beach wear to fit in (tho I only ended up finding one pair of shorts I liked). I met up with the guys again for lunch at Barraca do Uruguai, the most famous stand at Ipanema beach selling delicious meaty sandwiches. They had to get to the airport so we parted ways and I found myself all alone in Brazil....

On Tuesday I committed to the hard work of tourism. In the morning I took the metro to Centro, the historic center of Rio. I emerged at Rua Uruguaina into a hectic street bazaar. It was initially unnerving but a nice break from laid back Ipanema. Once I got my bearings I climbed up to Morro de Conceicao, a very old, Lisbon-esque street with cute (if shabby) townhouses, and then down to Praca Maua, the waterfront area that was revitalized for the 2016 Olympics. I first visited the Museu de Arte do Rio, housed in a beautiful colonial building attached to a gleaming modern annex. The view over Guanabara Bay is fantastic. The museum was showing two exhibits, one (”Mulheres”) featured women artists and had a lot of compelling pieces. The other was a history of samba. Once again I couldn’t understand the Portuguese captions, but there was enough music, video and glamorous visuals to make it fun nonetheless.

I walked across the plaza to Museu do Amanha (”Tomorrow”), a very modern “science” museum with a lot of interactive video displays and flashy installations for these selfie/social media loving Brazilians. The science was a bit thin; it starts with a brief history of the universe then focuses on humanity’s impact on the planet, for better and worse. But it was engaging.

I then hiked up another hill to the Mosteiro do Sao Bento, a monastery that is one of the city’s oldest buildings. Its plain, humble exterior belies an over-the-top opulence inside, a theme I found in every church I saw that day. Those early Portuguese settlers loved ornate, gilded wall reliefs like you would expect from Louis XIV.

After a tasty chicken burger at the hip Cozinha Mironga I continued toward the waterfront to Igreja de Nossa Senhora Candelaria, the biggest of the city’s historic churches. The surrounding area houses lots of current and former government buildings, most of them imposing neoclassical edifices or fanciful Baroque colonial desserts (or both). I saw the Centro Cultural do Banco do Brasil (tho I skipped the current exhibition of Dreamworks art), Igreja de Nossa Senhora do Carmo da Antiga Se (which served royal functions when the Portguese throne decamped to Brazil) and Paco Imperial (the one-time royal palace). From there I walked through the extremely underwhelming (but historic) Arco de Teles into Travessa do Comercio, a charming cobblestone street of colonial townhouses, now home to outdoor cafes.

From here I cut across the hustling narrow streets of Centro to Largo da Carioca, a plaza surrounding by some atrocious 1960s skyscrapers (tho the Petrobras HQ is a marvel) and dominated by a very old church, Igreja Sao Francisco da Penitencia e Convento de Santo Antonio (phew). It’s beautifully restored and wins the gaudiest award in a very tough category. Not one inch of that chapel was left ungilded, an odd choice for an order who has taken a vow of poverty.

I then headed back up to Real Gabinete Portugues de Leitura, or the Royal Reading Room. It’s basically a library, and one of the most stunning I’ve ever seen. It’s three stories of books (over 350,000) in sumptuous but tasteful, muted decor. You can feel the knowledge surrounding you, and it makes you yearn to have more of it.

From there I veered west into Saara, a small grid of narrow streets that serves as an outdoor market and bazaar. You can probably find anything you need here and at a good price. At the end of it I found Campo de Santana, an elegant park with an odd assemblage of wild beasts-- cats, ducks, some sort of large fowl, and a cute, big rodent creature (capybara?). That was enough for one day so I headed back to Ipanema, had a big, tasty, cheap dinner at Frontera and went home to bed.

On Wednesday I headed back down to Centro to finish my tour. I started at the Museu Historico Nacional. I have a particular interest in history museums because a) I think it’s important to have some background and context when you travel; b) I’m a history nerd; and c) they are difficult to do well since good history requires a lot of text, which is not well-suited to a museum. Rio’s history museum is... decent. Housed in a well-maintained old fort, it could definitely use some refurbishing and some more engaging exhibits. After a respectable space telling the story of the indigenous people, it mostly focuses on the leaders and elites who steered the country from a Portuguese (and Dutch and French) colony into an independent republic. It has little to say about slaves, and I found no mention of the military dictatorship that ruled from the sixties to the eighties. (This is especially problematic given the current president’s favorable, revisionist view of the dictatorship.) But otherwise the narrative seems fair and accurate, if not thorough. It has almost no weighty artifacts, like original documents or “this was the actual thing that person used” items. It is mostly full of examples (of china, jewelry, slave shackles, etc.), paintings (many immense) and busts. Two awesome exceptions are a large array of carriages and early cars spanning three hundred years and an actual historic apothecary that was moved into the museum when it went out of business. I also appreciated that all of the displays had English translations tho they were riddled with errors. It made me wonder why the museum wouldn’t have them proofread before printing them up in a permanent exhibition.

From here I walked back to Praca Floriano (aka Cinelandia) which is the heart of downtown. The plaza is fairly non-descript, but it’s surrounded by some of the city’s most beautiful buildings: Theatro Municipal, Bibliolteca Nacional, Museu Nacional de Belas Artes and Camera Municipal. It was so stunning I stopped for lunch on the square and came back to see it lit up at night (when apparently the navy was attending the opera...).

After lunch I continued west into Lapa, past the iconic Arcos (an old viaduct) and the peculiar Catedral Metropolitana de Sao Sebastio. It’s a brutalist cement cone modeled after Aztec pyramids, and it looks nothing like any church I’ve ever seen (tho not far off from St. Mary’s in San Francisco, aka “The Washing Machine”). After my initial shock and repulsion, I found it growing on me, if only for its boldness and break from tradition. It’s most famous for the tall stain-glassed windows (which are impressive in their size if not beauty), but what stood out to me was the main crucifix. It’s surprisingly small and suspended in the center of the cone about 30 feet above the altar. Jesus looks so vulnerable and alone, floating in an empty void. Of all the gory crucifixion scenes I’ve seen, this more than any other moved me and actually made me sad to think about Jesus’ plight.

I then ventured further into Lapa. Nowadays it’s best known for its rowdy nightlife, and some of the bars were just starting to open up. Like much of Rio (and many Latin American cities), the area had traces of better days but now mostly looks decrepit. I made my way back, under the Arcos and headed to Cinelandia to catch the train home.

Thursday was considerably less ambitious. After a late start, I took the metro to Botafogo. Amid the usual urban grit of Rio are several beautiful old colonial mansions (as well as a notorious favela). I believe it was once an upscale artsy neighborhood that fell into decline, but some of the old buildings have been restored as museums or work spaces. Unfortunately, like so much of the city, they are hidden and inaccessible behind tall walls and fences. One beautiful exception is the Fundacao Casa de Rui Barbosa, once home to a famous writer and politician, now a museum. I didn’t go inside but the gorgeous grounds around the home are open to the public and look like a miniature botanical garden.

I made my way toward the next neighborhood, Humaita, and stopped at Cemiterio Sao Joao Batista, the final resting place for some of Brazil’s most famous residents. It’s quite beautiful and dramatic under the watchful eye of Christ the Redeemer. My last stop was Cobol do Humaita, a food market and dining hall, which are always pleasant to wander. The sun was going down so, after six days in Ipanema, I figured it was time to see the sunset on the beach. Obviously Rio faces East but the light is still nice.

Friday turned out to be my most ambitious day and, painfully, the hottest so far. I returned to lovely Cinelandia and Lapa and visited the famous Escadaria Selaron, a public stairway that has been covered in a colorful tile mosaic in tribute to the people of Brazil. It’s pretty, fun and festive and swarming with tourists. Fortunately most people turn around at the top (if they get that far) instead of continuing into the beautiful Santa Teresa neighborhood. Like Botafogo, it’s full of charming old homes in various states of (dis)repair. But these are not walled off. And they run the gamut from cottages to palaces, so there is a lot of variety, both in architecture and culture. It reminded me of Russian Hill and Telegraph Hill. Also, this being a very steep hill, there are stunning views of the city and the bay from everywhere.

There is not much to do in Santa Teresa besides admire the loveliness, which probably helps keep the tourists away. Parque das Ruinas is the main attraction-- a crumbled mansion once owned by a salon-hosting socialite intellectual. It really feels like ruins, but staircases and walkways have been installed and the surrounding grounds turned into a park. The views from the top are spectacular. The small museum next door (Museu da Chacara do Ceu) hosts a private collection. It sounded interesting but appeared to be closed for construction.

I continued walking through the main commercial area which hosts some charming little boutiques, restaurants and bars (as well as a makeshift barber and a bar perched out on one of the viewpoints). I stopped for fantastic feijoada at Bar do Mineiro and more beer at the historic Bar do Gomes. Then, rather than walk all the way back down, I opted for the bonde, a cute little cable car that runs up and down the hill.

With a little daylight left, I headed back down to Botafogo and then over to Urca for one of Rio’s premiere attractions: Pao de Acucar (Sugarloaf Mountain). It stands tall at the north end of Copacabana and offers stunning views over the entire city and bay. It’s accessible by a sequence of two cable cars (gondolas), teetering at dizzying heights. It was crowded, as I expected at sunset, but not actually that bad. I stayed up there a while soaking in the “Marvelous City” and, like everyone else, taking tons of photos.

It was my first Friday night in the city, and I had nothing to do, which would have been a shame. But a guy I had been chatting with invited me to Paraiso do Tuiuti, a samba school. I demurred, concerned that I would not understand the instructions in Portuguese. But my friend then explained that it’s not a school so much as a club that performs sambas. The schools are formed in the favelas and compete at Carnaval every year. Friday night Paraiso was having a big birthday party and putting on a show for their friends.

The Paraiso clubhouse is across the street from Feira de Sao Cristovao, a kind of permanent country fair. It’s home to dozens of stalls selling all sorts of stuff, but at night, it’s mostly just restaurants and bars with a lot of karaoke. There is also a main stage with the kind of cheesy acts you would expect at a fair. And the crowd was overwhelmingly under 30, maybe 25. It was cute good times but I was not sorry to leave when my friend arrived.

The Paraiso do Tuiuti building is a big auditorium, not unlike a high school gym. A large samba band was in full swing in the corner of the mezzanine, and various people in uniforms, outfits and costumes were milling amongst the hundreds of guests. It all felt very festive, intimate and personable. A little later the performances started. My friend explained that each year at Carnaval each school performs a new samba and competes for first place (the schools are also organized like sports leagues with a top tier, mid tier, etc.). Paraiso do Tuiuti was performing their greatest hits that night in honor of their birthday (with songs going back to the 80s), and once they were done, a couple other schools-- Estacio de Sa and Mangueira (last year’s winners)-- performed as well. The whole experience was phenomenal and unforgettable-- the rhythms, the leg work, the costumes, the energy. It was a fantastic, only-in-Brazil night that a tourist can only hope to stumble upon.

Since I did not get home until 6am, Saturday and Sunday were my lazy days off before I returned to the tourist trail the next week....

#riodejaneiro #brazil #brasil #travel #gaytravel #intentionaltravel

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