#droppingout
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(@wingsofachampion) I can help too! I've been a Pokemon my whole life! -Tropius
Iwoild apprecidate itt
#will theykick me outi know injoked about droppingout but I likemy classes#andidint wantto stop doingrad#unreality#pokémon
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why do my instructors think it is okay to have meetings at 9pm when i have a final the next morning (this literally happened again with a completely different instructor) 🫠 im #droppingout
What is wrong with your school 💀💀 teachers are so inconsiderate sometimes and think the only thing going on in a students life is class
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The Drop Out Experience.
When I first started University in 2018 I had fleeting thoughts of whether I was doing the right thing, did I even want to study Biomedical Science. I put it down to nerves, thinking these thoughts would go away once I had settled and got talking to fellow students, however this wasn't the case - by January I was feeling so low. A feeling I had not felt before, as though I had some kind of black cloud following my every move. The black cloud didn't lift until I decided to give up my tiny Student apartment in Camden and moved back home in April 2019. Although my lectures had finished by this point and I had sat my exams, I felt constantly worried and my anxiety would skyrocket at the smallest of things. I didn't feel myself and I was yet to admit that I was not OK.
My summer was long and much needed and after finding myself a part time job, I started to feel like myself again, I never spoke to my family about just how low I felt and they never asked but I knew they saw my better improved moods. I would occasionally have thoughts about my plan for second year. Did I really want to go back? What would I do if I didn't? What would my family think if I dropped out?Eventually the anxiety of not being able to answer those questions or form a coherent plan made the decision for me and I found myself re-enrolling for second year.
Second Year.
Over the duration of summer I had been into contact with a close uni friend and together we made the decision to find a private rented property further out from central with hopes of saving a few pennies where we could (be mindful this is london a few pennies go a long way!). We found the most beautiful apartment and I was truly looking forward to moving back to the big city - until my mind wondered to thoughts of uni and a feeling of pure dread and unease would conquere my every sensation.
It started off so well, my friend was honestly my absoute rock and if it wasn't for him I can't really tell you where I would be today. After the partying and exploring the big city (for a second time) reality set in and enrollment day rolled around. I feel as though my time spent in London was a blurr at best however I vividly remember going back to my beautiful apartment and crying raw emotion. I didn't want this, I felt so trapped, I wasn't even chasing my dreams but I truly felt as though I had no other option and no one to talk to. Looking back I think this was where I admitted to myself that I wanted out. I wanted out of London, out of University and out of existing... I wanted to go home and to be welcomed with open arms, no questions asked. The sad thing was my lectures hadn't even started yet. The class had been divided into two for size purposes and all of my close friends from first year had been placed on the opposite schedule to myself, my closest friend (the guy I was living with) had also made the decision to switch courses, therefore the vehemence experienced in first year ran deep. Those same anxieties and thoughts hit me like a bucket of ice cold water except I was a Second Year now, I didn't have the University behind me telling me it was normal to experience these feelings and should I need to talk to someone there's a variety of places, societies and people to visit.
Eventually I stopped going to my lectures altogether and the work, if it was being done at all, would consistantly be late and certainly not 100%. Pretty quickly my mind had been made up however I was yet to admit it to my peers, to the University and to my family.
It was going to take some serious thinking, some serious discussions and a lot of justification before I even dare fill out the University's Withdrawing from Sudies form. Reflecting back I think Christmas 2019 was the deal breaker. I had briefly touched on the subject of moving home and dropping out of University with my closest cousin (I think of her more of a sister!) and gave me a hard talking to about how I wasn't alone and I should start being honest with people about my feelings, starting with myself and so I vowed to enjoy my Christmas break and try to not allow the reality of my situation set in. Experiencing the festive spirit and even down to the petty family arguments was enough for me to realise whatever happened I wasn't going back to University. Now how was I going to drop that bomb?
#university#droppingout#experience#life#blog#whatnext#no judgement#unilife#london#start of something new#thedropout#guide#how to guide
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Fuck. This. Shit.
Oh hi gentle reader,
Thanks for dropping by.
Where to begin?
First of all, an apology...
I apologise unreservedly for the name of this blog and for the premise of this blog. I have come to realise that this contemporary mindset - which was foundational to this project - that of those-who-are-injured-being-responsible-for-turning-their-victim-hood-to-the-heroes-journey-of-self-actualization is fucking bullshit.
I am writing this, by the way, from my bed. Where I have been all day. Where I was all day yesterday. Because I have been too shaken (my partner calls it "unwell") to leave the house.
This is why I think this mindset is bullshit: Not only does the ideology of victim-turned-hero shift the burden of responsibility for change on to the victims (and minimise the role of the perpetrators), it also doesn't address the massive underlying societal causes of the violence in the first place. By making it about the victims personal transformation (from squashed caterpillar to beautiful butterfly), we do not address the traumas of our contemporary society and of the violent, patriarchal, colonial, white supremacist capitalism which people pass on through their own violent, coercive and life-denying words and actions. Secondly, this mindset is bullshit because it implies that, when the victim fails to heal themselves, they have failed as a person. Failed to take control, to turn things around, to "man-up" or to "turn the other cheek", in this meritocratic society, they haven't "earned" or "deserved" it yet. What's more, there is not room in this mindset for the ongoing agony which is the traumatised brain. If, like me, you have done all the work in your power to heal (Meditate, Exercise, SSRIs, Psychotherapy, Cognitive Behavioural Therapy, Shamanic Journeying, Journalling, Self Medicating, etc) and continue to work on it daily yet still suffer, this concept of "rewriting trauma" just underscores what poor writers we are, unable to conjure a different reality. What if I am so overwhelmed and overburdened that I cannot, I have almost never been able to, imagine another reality, let alone bring one into being? I guess I'm just a shit writer and all this pain and chaos is my fault?
It's been over a year since I last posted on this blog as I've been undergoing something of a slow burning subterranean change, catalysed by a number of encounters, that is only just now starting to smoke above ground... Over the last year I have been threatened with physical violence by a stranger (white male) near my home; received a long series of uninvited, episodic attacks on my beliefs, politics and ways of life from a man who I previously believed to be a friend and ally (who then gas lighted and alienated me when I expressed my pain and anger at this behaviour); witnessed a close family member (female) be bullied, stalked, and threatened by another (older, male) family member; have been shouted at in the street while working as a personal assistant to a woman in a wheelchair (by a white, middle aged man); had to challenge gas lighting from a male family member after discovering their concealed porn addiction; been aggressively, verbally attacked (and shouted at) by a mature male (white) student while conducting a lecture; and all the while completely unsupported by the societal structures which are meant to aid us when in need. Worse, when I have sought help, support, and/or protection, I've been told no or else it's not a problem. There is something very gendered about all of this and, while it's nothing new, the frequency and the intensity of these attacks has been seriously disturbing and oftentimes frightening.
Over the last year I have been in an increasingly rapid cycle of boom and bust (where now the busts are so frequent and so heavy they virtually merge into one uninterrupted constant). All of these encounters, individually and cumulatively, have left me with burnouts, breakdowns, and the worst negative internalisation I've known since I was a kid. I've had suicidal ideations, blackouts, insomnia, fainting attacks, I've had the shakes so bad I had to sit on a pavement and wait for them to pass. I've had brain fog so heavy that I can't even make simple decisions like what pair of socks to wear or been unable to engage in even nice plans like seeing friends or listening to (and hearing) conversations on the phone. And all the time, every day, I'm working really hard to try and maintain my position as a human being, to be employed so that I can keep a roof over my head, pay for my therapy, doing daily meditations, daily exercises, journalling, eating well (or trying to), anything, everything, the hard fucking work of just keeping going. But it is too hard. I am so tired. It's been over 20 years of this shit and I am no more functional now than I was when I was a suicidal 17 year old. Worse, in many ways. I managed to pass my A levels and keep down a job then. Now, 20 years later, I drop out of every situation I am in, I spin out after even innocuous requests or suggestions, I lose the thread of every thought and 90% of my actions. Because it all gets too much. All the time. It's like living in a vortex.
Fuck it.
Fuck these patriarchal systems of inequality and oppression that bring all of this about and then fail to support those who fall out. And if you are reading this and can't recognise these systems - you're in it. I recommend you go outside - go to your local food bank or job centre, talk to people about their experiences. Go to the PIPs assessment centre nearest you, the immigration detention centre, or come and have a chat with me (don't do that, I don't want to see anyone but the cat). If you don't want to go inside, go online. Look at the statistics for child poverty in your area, for life expectancy, employment. Talk to a friend or neighbour who is not employed by their family about how it is. Look at the Extinct Ocean Animals list or UNHCR's 2022 statistics for refugees... This white, colonial, patriarchal system is sick.
Fuck it all. I am fucking done. When I can get out of this bed I'm leaving, I'm not participating anymore.
If I'm the canary, and this is the coal mine, you have been warned.
Ix
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"Leaving a Task Undone," by Fernando Pessoa
from the author of the magnificent Book of Disquiet
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The moment I clicked the drop button I felt ruined my life. That was it. I dropped my classes the second semester in a row now. I am done. No more motivation to sit through lectures or write 15 paged essays or participate in group discussions or countless hours of math.
The same questions popped into mind over and over. What will my parents think? What will I tell my family when I get asked that stupid question, “almost done with school?” All my friends who are so motivated and are doing so god damn well in school. I know the uncomfortable feeling they’ll feel when telling me its not a big deal and a good choice because I’ll feel the same feeling telling them about my choice. And my boyfriend. My sweet sweet boyfriend who talked me through the night before my first class while I sat in bed bawling my eyes out because it didn’t feel right. He told me “smart people like you are meant for this. You are smarter than any teacher at any college.”
But I didn't go to class. I didn't even make it to the campus. I drove 45 minutes, past the campus, to a mall, sat in the parking lot, and cried.
I am not meant for college right now. I may not be ready for a long long time. Or ever. And that is perfectly fine. College is not for everyone. College is not for everyone. College is not for everyone. But it has been pushed in my head that I have to go to college. I can’t be the one who is dropping out. I have to get my degree. I have to I have to I have to. But life happened, things changed, and I don’t have to go. But I think I am still trying to convince myself that this is okay.
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I THINK WE’RE THE SAME AGE SKJDJXJZH
PLS OUR CLASSES START AT 8:30 (im assuming it starts at that time bc we have meetings on that time, but thank goodness our cameras are turned off) BUT OUR TASKS ARE POSTED AT 7:30 ???? I HAVE TO WAKE UP EARLY SO THAT I CAN FINISH OUR HWS EARLY
PLS im actually graduating junior highschool this year (based on our system),,, like the next 2 years are senior high school where it’s like a prepation for our college courses 😭😭
thinking of #droppingout everyday 😞👎
i’m 16 :D
you still have online :0 #jealous
mine is in person and starts at 7:30 and i look like a raccoon every morning
YASS good for you!! i think college is pretty exciting bc that’s when you actually study areas you’re interested in 🌟 are there any courses/majors you’re interested in?
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My mother lost her IRS tax stuff so guess who's dropping out of college now
broke college kid/lover of FAFSA
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Me: *Has a paper due at 9:30 tomorrow morning. Has only half of a written paragrah. Is on Tumblr scrolling*
Me: I’m a great student. (Help me, please)
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#mayday #mellowmonday at our #beach #brunosbeach #mykhebeach #danangbeach getting ready for the #summerseason2017 with #bruno our #frenchbulldog and plenty of #grafitti #pizza #platinumale #surfing #beaches #beachfun #beachgirl and #droppingout of #reality kinda just #relaxing #offgrid in #danang #living #dananglife in this #fantasticity ! #vscovietnam #cntraveler #mytinyatlas #vacationwolf #gaijin @nintai69 (at The Village Da Nang - Beach Resort)
#brunosbeach#danangbeach#beaches#reality#bruno#relaxing#danang#vscovietnam#mytinyatlas#living#platinumale#beachfun#droppingout#cntraveler#beachgirl#dananglife#mellowmonday#summerseason2017#frenchbulldog#grafitti#offgrid#surfing#beach#pizza#fantasticity#vacationwolf#gaijin#mykhebeach#mayday
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I DROPPED OUT TO FOLLOW MY LOVE OF FILM MAKING, CHECK IT!
#youtube#video#edit#dropping out#droppingout#drop#out#college#university#classes#school#drop out#vlog#follow my dreams#dreams
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These Luminaries Are WAY Smarter Than You
A lot of parties were of the view that celebrities they witness on the big screen or hear on the radio are simply somewhat facesyou know, all appears and no substance or the embodiment of the specific characteristics they show. But that would be incorrect, your best friend, as many famed faces are actually of superior intelligence.
Whats a genius IQ? That would be over 140, with 120 -1 40 is just very superior intellect and 110 -1 99 being of superior intelligence. Here are some smart celebs that have both psyches and talent.
1
Madonna 140
Although not an official member, Mensa recently referred her a “genius” in his most recent international list.
2
Nicole Kidman 132
An alumnus of the Victorian College of the Artistries in Melbourne, Kidman was an accomplished student whoquit her analyzes when she was 17 studying to be a massage therapist in order to support her family.
3
Quentin Tarantino 160
He’s technically a genius and, yet, he’s also a high school dropout.
4
Steve Martin 142
Before becoming a successful actor, heactually wanted to be a college prof. But then we wouldn’t have this” wild and crazy person” that we’ve seen on the screen.
5
Dolph Lundgren 160
Hehas a degree in compound engineering from the Royal Institute of Technology in Stockholm, Sweden, and likewise received a masters degree in compound engineering from the University of Sydney.
6
Sharon Stone 154
The actressportrayed a impressive, highly intelligent novelist with a psychology grade in Basic Instinct , which wasn’t that far of a stretch.
7
James Woods 184
Woods pretty much surfaces the inventory with 184, but the actor aced his SATs and received a full scholarship to MIT andenrolled in the UCLA linear algebra trend while in high school.
8
Shakira 140
The Colombian vocalist first started writing at the age of eight and was a guest orator at the University of Oxford, England.
9
David Duchovny 147
The truth is right there, and it’s that he went to Princeton as an undergrad where he acquired a prestigious trophy, then earned a Masters degree in English Literature from Yale.
10
James Franco 130
He apparently picks up college grades as a pastime, and has educated screen performance writing and sending at UCLA, USC, and NYU.
11
Kesha 140
She makes beautiful mental music in thatshe tallied a whopping 1500 out of 1600 on her SATs and turned down a scholarship to Barnard College to prosecute her dream of music.
12
Meryl Streep 143
Not exclusively is sheone of the most acclaimed actresses of any generation, “shes been” left academy with top grades before starting various fellowships in her name.
13
Cindy Crawford 154
Beauty and intelligences, the modelgraduated from high school as valedictorian and studied chemical engineering at Northwestern University.
14
Matt Damon 160
Remember Good Will Hunting ? Damon developed the first draft for his Oscar-winning scriptwhilestudying at Harvard University.
15
Rowan Atkinson 178
Who knew Mr. Beanstudied engineering at Newcastle University and will continue to be Oxford University to do an MSc?
16
Tommy Lee Jones 135
Along with being an actor and Nobel Prize winner, he was actually was roommates with Al Gore at Harvard University.
17
Natalie Portman 140
She communicates six different languages, has twice been published in scientific magazines, andhas a degree in psychology from Harvard.
18
Kate Beckinsale 132
The actressstudied French and Russian literature at Oxford University’s New College, and still fluently communicates both French and Russian, as well as German.
19
Lisa Kudrow 160
Before playing flaky Phoebe on Friends , she was a medical investigate, focussing on headaches, and she has a college stage in Biology.
20
Aisha Tyler 156
The actress and stand-up comic payed a Bachelor’s degree from Dartmouth in Government with a minor in Environmental Policy. But that’s not all! She’s fluent in French, Russian, and Swahili, and isalso a serious poker player.
21
Ashton Kutcher 160
He was abode at MIT and Purdue to study Engineering, but lost his fellowships when he divulged into his high school as a prank. He ended up at the University of Iowa before droppingout to pursue modeling.
22
Alicia Keys 154
The singer graduated high school as valedictorian, but gave up a scholarship to Columbia University to pursue a vocation in music.
23
Jodie Foster 132
The actressjuggled a childhood behaving busines with a route consignment at Lyce Franais de Los Angeles, and later attended Yale to study upper-level French.
24
Arnold Schwarzenegger 135
An example of intelligences and brawn, he holds bachelors-at-arms in international fitness and business administration and, of course, was minister of California.
25
Geena Davis 158
The actress isa member of Mensa, and she received an honorary Doctorates Degree from Bates College, as well.
26
Emma Watson 138
Via: LifeDaily
Living up to her screen reputation Hermione Granger in Harry Potter , the actressgraduated from Brown University.
Now don’t you feel a bit smarter?
The post These Luminaries Are WAY Smarter Than You appeared first on apsbicepstraining.com.
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January 14th, 2019: Slovenia
January 14th, 2019: Slovenia
They told me not to follow BMX and just work or go to school. “They” we’re not my parents. My parents supported me in taking a massive risk by droppingout of school for BMX.
Now I’ve been to over 15 countries, performed for the USA military in Iraq, become friends with my idol Dave Mirra, started my own business, impacted lives around the world, speak around the world, and now I’m on a plane to…
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I can't do school anymore. I just can't. The guys are terrible. My grades are terrible. My life is terrible. Wait, what...Oh well. I can't do school. I'm dropping out and working at some fast food place that pays the most...anyone want to join me??
#droppingout
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