HAPPY BIRTHDAY HUNK!!! My sarcasm king, my cinnamon roll, my space Gordon Ramsey 💛💛💛 he deserves the world ( and beyond) so everyone wish him the best birthday ever! ✨✨🎂

so past the point of changing people's minds about me!! like i actually just realized today that i don't care. i am so much more capable of shrugging my shoulders at someone's preconceived notions of me than i used to be. throughout my life i will probably run into many a person who will have a negative impression of me that they will not be able to dispel (or will go out of their way to fuel for the sake of their confirmation bias or whatever it is). but i will also have the honor of meeting a lot of amazing people who won't do that and who will actually see me for who i really am and will affirm that w their thoughts and actions. so long as i know who i am, anyone who's willing to make the effort will know who i am too. and that's all that matters

when i was in school, we read an essay written by a woman detailing the series of destructive spirals that resulted from grief over her mother's passing. many of the things she said did not sit right with me, but by far the most disquieting moment was when she posited this: if given the choice to select five people in our lives to rescue in a lifeboat, each of us, though we might pretend otherwise, would choose quickly and easily.

i don't think this is true at all, and it is, of course, a meaningless thought exercise. a life-or-death scenario in which we are given that kind of control is entirely out of the question, and asking others to engage with such an idea is a cruel endeavor.

that has not, however—and i am deeply ashamed of this—stopped me from longing, desperately and irrationally in the years since, to ask my friends to do just that.

you see, it's not the callousness of her proposal that struck me, nor the fact that it isn't true. what was most disquieting to me was the deeply felt sense it gave me that i was not going to be put in someone else's lifeboat—or at the very least, no one was ever going to put me in their lifeboat first.

it's a profoundly cruel and irrational thought to have, and i'm not proud if it, this urge to make my loved ones promise me they'd choose me, that they wouldn't happily and easily leave me to die, a promise i wouldn't believe anyway. i have enough control over my own tongue not to ask, but still the thought nags, from time to time.

one of the many pitfalls of amatonormativity is this: due to the way society prioritizes romance and monogamous romantic partnerships above all else, it is very easy for your friends and loved ones to set you adrift, to jettison you as dead weight—and oftentimes, they will be seen as justified for doing so.

but my dear friends, i can't swim. and when i think about that boat, pulling away from me through the dark and swirling sea, i think of the waves. i imagine myself slipping under the surface, calling out to that distant boat as it drifts further and further away, and no one hears me. thank god, they'll say. that was easy.

i think im losing my mind does everyone else live in a universe where michael had more screentime than helen...where is all the helen content...i will start hitting people if i dont see more helen content

i think having a force fem kink as a trans masc is actually very smart of me. wise, even. cis men could never comprehend or practice it in the enlightened way that i do

(another question, does fiend like looking at their own reflection?)

(sorry if you saw this twice tumblr was being weird)

(Much like Pep, Fiend will stare at their reflection until physically moved or the mirror/reflective surface is moved/covered

Does that count as them liking looking at their reflection? I don't know. While Pep gets sad, Fiend doesn't show emotion and just... Stares...

it’s my birthday !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

rotten apples are common in my family tree.

hey. you probably won't see this, but i just wanted to say thank you for not being a jerk about bi lesbians. it's really disheartening how much hate we still get, and it's nice to see someone just. not doing that.

it's nice to know someone with a (probably?) big blog/account is in our corner.

not sure why i shouldn't be able to see this ask, i am not as big of a blog as some people think HAHAHAHA. but hey you're welcome. I'll always stand behind anyone who defines a label through their personal experience. as long as you're not trying to define other people's experiences for them, it's literally nobody's business but yours.

i don't see anybody talking about this but i just wanted to say i think it's cool and neat how the disinformation saint who can literally rewrite reality isn't staying within the control of her creators. good thing that doesn't reflect anything real!

top line x supporting robo

DAL @ CGY (03.18.23) — after hitting the 40-goal mark and scoring the ot gwg in calgary following a small slump

SEA @ DAL (05.11.23) — during robo's 8-game post-season scoring drought, right before his 3-assist night against seattle

DAL @ VGK (05.27.23) — after robo's 5v5 break-out and 4 goals in 4 games in the vegas series

I'll unspool the threads of my heart to stitch up your hems. They keep dragging through the mud and snagging on sticks and stones and getting torn. The repair never lasts. I don't mind, give it here. I have plenty of heart, I have plenty of thread, I won't even ask you to mind your hems. I'll do it again.

Never mind that the scarlet doesn't match. Never mind what happens when I run out of thread.

There's always a slight yearning in the back of my mind wishing I had been born in the right place, time, family situation, income level, etc. to have just lived in one single house for my entire life. Imagine being born in a place that still suits you, even through all of your personal evolutions and etc. The idea of deep familiarity with an area because you've lived and explored it for 40+ years, being encased in a web of memories and connections. Being able to clean out your old childhood bedroom and find personal artifacts, to dig in the yard and remember. I know those lives can still be plenty imperfect, but there's just something so seemingly solid and stable and Grounding about it that I sometimes wish I could have.. (At least from my outside perspective as someone who's moved around a bit geographically and even within the same area, never lives in the same house/ apartment /etc. for more than a few years usually.) Like... having a place that is printed upon, fully your own, rather than chronically a visitor, every thought of a space always tempered with the notion that one day soon you'll have to pack it all up again, etc. There's something peaceful about the permanence.

I was out all day yesterday so only getting to watch the Beyond episode today and I just...

I am chewing on Aaron's voice work like a dog toy.

"For a self-proclaimed researcher... I thought you'd know by now that Psychic-types are weak against Ghost." "Morty-ehehe! B-But I'm nohohot a type specialist!" "Maybe should've thought of that first before deciding to wake me up so early."

A spiritual successor to this lil doodle of mine 🫣💖💕

i understand all the older og fans who are annoyed that a lot has been revealed about sephiroth's past. i really do. a mysterious villain, if done well, is super effective, and in the og the hints at a somewhat normal but slightly traumatic past is what made sephiroth very compelling.

and yes, ever crisis may very well be fanservice. but who fucking cares.

but a lot of the claims from angry fans that sephiroth's backstory is unrealistic or it ruins his character is so unfounded imo :/

a traumatic past does not take away from a compelling, mysterious villain. a backstory that lays out the situations that influenced a villain to become 'the bad guy' does not make him less of a villain, nor does it ruin his character. many mainline final fantasy games have shown the backstory of their villains — kuja got one, kefka got one, so why not sephiroth? why not expand on things that we already technically know from existing canon lore?

i don't think this is an attempt to make sephiroth a stereotypical, trope-y 'tragic villain'. i don't think it's an attempt to distract us from the atrocities he's committed. i think it's more to see the human in the monster, and to symbolise just how pervasive and destructive shinra is.

if you've watched the boys, you will see many similarities (and of course differences) between sephiroth and homelander, and shinra and vaught. both sephiroth and homelander were pawns of shinra/vaught from the beginning, literally created to be weapons and objects for their organisations. both are manufactured, sort of humans. both were lied to about their origins, both were 'lab rat kids', both had childhoods devoid of what all childhoods should be. manufactured monsters. they are both results of their environment.

and yet, they both are irredeemable in the end, regardless of the fact they were forced on a path they had no say in. AND fans of the boys weren't fucking foaming at the mouth because homelander got a backstory. none of us thought it ruined his character. we all still see him as a man too far gone. why are ff7 fans like this.

i'm not too sure if square will change things up in rebirth and the final game, maybeeee they'll give sephiroth a redemption arc, i'm not sure, but fans are speculating. i don't think they will. but either way, based on the current canon timeline, he isn't redeemable. he's turned into a monster, and he now has the complete opposite of a normal life which is what he wanted as a child.

i also feel like he encapsulates the sort of madness and entitled viewpoint that only a human being, and male villain could possess. and this isn't to take away from his character and it isn't a diss. it isn't a diss at men either. but i think it's extremely realistic. if we think of current society, how men are socialised, they are socialised to believe they have an inherent uniqueness, something special — an inflated ego. and tbh, i think if we look deeper, i think in a lot of western, individualistic societies, this also transfers to everyone, not just men. sephiroth admitted he always thought he was special ("i knew, ever since i was a child, i was not like the others. i knew mine was a special existence. but this… this was not what i meant") and different from the rest. i think this dialogue, while heartbreaking, really does show an insight into his inflated ego. and i personally believe that his ego, his entitlement, was borne of utter loneliness and isolation. what else could give him comfort, other than believing in this idea that he was of a special existence?

while sephiroth turned into a monster, i feel like he is so incredibly reflective of the human condition (or, at least, a facet of the human condition), which to me, is what makes him such a compelling yet tragic character/villain.

who and what else, but a human being, a man, to think the world owes them something, to think they are entitled to justice in the form of suffering and destruction? to think that everyone is deserving of pain all because he was objected to it? to think they can take and take and take some more? to act in a rage so strong that it is no longer blind, but calculating, intentional, thoughtful and nearly prophetic?

who and what else on this earth could be so utterly consumed by emotion to the point of complete destruction? THAT is a facet of humanity, or maybe it's a facet of a lack of it; of the human condition. sephiroth, the monster, the manufactured monster, the one who was of a special existence, the one who is not like the rest...ends up acting in a way that only a human being would be able to. the irony. he doesn't even see it!