#dlkfjsldkjf | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

inkskinned · 7 months

Text

for a second, you did the bad thing and bargained about it.

if it meant that you would never be numb like this again, what would you give up?

maybe it's the childhood stuff or the religious trauma or how your dad doesn't believe in medication, but this is how you are, right. you need to have a counterbalance. suffering has to have its own reward. there needs to be a point to it. and if you're happy - if you could just be happy, and the world could actually fill in enough space that the edges of your spirit actually meet the horizon of your body - you would need to pay for it.

your passions? that one seems fair, but how could you actually be happy without them. well, you'd never be numb again, so maybe you'd be able to find joy in the small things like you used to. gleeful, you'd make coffee and breakfast into an artform. you'd find a way to make it make sense, somehow. you'd move on. it'd be different, but it would be doable.

your lover? your friends? this would be hard. you owe so much to your community. still, you could maybe make yourself a small home in the woods. you could live a quiet life, one devoid of friendship - but also without this horrible grey mist. a life like bigfoot, then. you'd figure out how to make the most of it.

your hair. your teeth. all of it.

sometimes you are jealous of mental illness as it appears in media: a big stroke of a meltdown, a firestorm that resolves prettily in therapy. it is flashing lights and thin teenagers. you've absolutely had breakdowns that stole the show - but life after resolved into a pixel art of things you managed to piece together afterwards, not a tapestry of a heart made suddenly-beautiful. that people could pick up blades as if they weigh nothing, that the way it all appears is as a cry for help, not a slow backsliding.

you have to stop the thought: i'd give up everything.

but also - be real. you'd never give up your dog. nor your best friend. nor the way you feel walking while through deep fog. you'd never give up the last bonfire of summer, the reckless laughter of halloween. so you do still love things.

maybe that's the problem: you know it should be easier. you have everything you could possibly want. so how come you are still trapped? still yearning?

#writeblr #warm up #dlkfjsldkjf #ive been dealin w/some pretty bad [ mental illness ] for about a year now. like the kind i got at 19 #and ..................... i have everything i want.#i wish it was easier for both of us #it is easier in a lot of ways. i am glad i stayed. but ya lol i am so tired in the Very Bad No Good way

2K notes · View notes

corferox · 1 year

Text

just reminded myself link probably has family out there that he doesn't even know about ( and likely never will ) :'>

#♞ —— today i will cause problems on purpose ▶ OOC.#i know i can't make his sister a 108 year old hedge witch but i'd be lying if i said i wasn't tempted #not that he'd even recognize her if she was still alive :woozy:#i don't think she ever had kids BUT his cousins probably did #wolf link maYBE counts if i take my own headcanons into account but. like. not really DLKFJSLDKJF

4 notes · View notes

etheries1015 · 2 months

Note

Hear me out. So lilia vanrouge and fae reader angst in nrc together. And I bet you're thinking "how can this be angst? The war has stopped, they're both faes??" Reader never loved him. It was all for a mission where reader had to take him down and at his most vulnerable moment where they might be cuddling or something where reader injects poison in him. And reader does this because he killed the human who raised reader

My friend, you may be able to convince others of this idea of yours, but it shall not be me DLKFJSLDKJF I am actually clinically insane and in love with that man that the idea of killing him is a no for me

BUT I can imagine killing him initially being readers intent by getting close to him...only to actually fall in love with him, THAT I can get behind, but actually going thru with it? nah I love him too much I'd rather inject myself with poison

But I shall share this to all of those out there on my feed who does in fact enjoy this vision, because the idea is great, but boy oh boy am I too silly for that old man to do such a thing

#twisted wonderland #twst #twst headcannons #twisted wonderland headcannons #Lilia vanrouge #etheries rants💜✨

32 notes · View notes

orcelito · 1 year

Text

ok. maybe i should stop now dlkfjsldkjf

if ur seeing this on ur way thru ur dash . um. i maybe had an autism moment

maybe temporarily block ‘tales of vesperia’ if u dont want to see a million posts about a purple twink lmfao

#speculation nation #IM NOT SORRY but also i want to be considerate to my followers #aka why every post is tagged. You Have Been Warned.#now i have things to do (see: lying in bed and not writing)#mmm matcha

3 notes · View notes

leorjo · 6 years

Text

JOSH KEATON MENTION MY BALDTRON EDIT CHALLENGE

#VLD5 #DLKFJSLDKJF

14 notes · View notes

erguitar · 5 years

Text

me; wanting a lost boys blog; :) noice also not sure if the fandom is awake from the sandy cave grave hotel; ??

#dlkfjsldkjf i feel this on a daily basis #star rambles;

0 notes

soysauceharry · 5 years

Note

All very good points! I’ll probably end up going, but if it sucks, I’m blaming at least a fifth of it on you

dlkfjsldkjf duly noted ill take all the blame wouldnt be the first time i set someone up for a bad date LOL

#in all seriousness i hope u have fun lovey :*#thefangirlingbarista

0 notes

emmaswans · 11 years

Note

Hi I think you are great, LOVE your posts. You are so funny. I think you are one of the best. :)

Yldkfjldkjfsd. Thank you so much!!! You are so wonderful!!!

#Anonymous #asks #WHAT DID I DO TO DESERVE ALL THIS LOVE #dlkfjsldkjf #love you guys omg

1 note · View note