Sighs
Today is the day of mess ups apparently. I made a tiny mistake at work and someone on my team was very quick to toss me right under the bus about it, even though I had already owned up to the fact that it was my mistake, because I do not blame other people for MY mistakes and never have - and that really got under my skin. She like panicked and sent all these emails out about how "Well Jessica assigned it I didn't assign it." like girl, relax, they KNOW. I literally said that it was my oversight, on the same email thread you were CC'd on. Relax.
I messed up something trying to have a conversation earlier - also entirely my oversight. I've apologized and we've moved on but it's really eating at me that i've made such an oversight. That's in no way on them at all, of course, I've got to figure out how to deal with that in my own head.
I have nightmare disorder and I had 3 nightmares last night, one of which caused a bit of a panic when I woke up. It's not done well for my mental state today either, I know it's making things 50x worse than they actually are in reality. Again, my brain issue, figuring out how to work through that.
Been quite upset by a few things with a few of my friends recently - I don't want to go into too much detail really, but I've been really hurt by one and I'm still navigating figuring out what to do about that as well, because it's not something that's worth bringing up. Then of course there's the issue with my ex-friend who sent me that really nasty email? Nothing of what she said bothers me at all, what bothers me is I still care about what happens to her and I know she's going through a huge mental break despite what she feels about me or what she's said to me/about me I still like, hope she's okay?? Even though I can't check in on her or help her in any way.
Generally just not a vibe today. I have a very "roll over and take the kicks" sort of submissive attitude today which is very unlike me. I'm not a vicious fighter by any means but I don't usually just take punches. I don't have the energy to do anything BUT today.
I doubt anyone's read this anyway, I don't really have much of a following here which is why I choose to vent here, as I assume I can just scream words and they won't really be found. But if you have read this, thank you, and I'm sorry. I'm lonely, I'm tired, my meds aren't working, I'm amped up, strings of mistakes are softening me today, I just want to be held and my fiance is in Scotland so lol on that. I just. Need people.
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I think people are too obsessed with "canon" and trying to use source material to justify certain readings of the characters that were intentionally placed there by the author. You'll have characters very obviously written to be gay with so many allusions to the fact in their behavior and story themes and people will be all pissy it isn't "canon". As though having that arbitrary title slapped on will make the reading any more valid.
Like idk man I think if the writer puts a bunch of obvious gay sub text in their story, then maybe it being gay is already canon. Having the writer of the cool media you enjoy officially saying "ya its gay btw 😉" doesn't make your queer readings any more valid than they already are.
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so you know how rui has always been curious about the plushies in the wonderland sekai (and the aliens in april fools event)? imagine a small rui, regressed in the sekai, curiously wandering up to the plushies! he always has a sense of wonder and curiosity about him, but it's so much stronger when he's little, and the plushies are just so interesting!'
anyways, so he goes up to the plushies and picks them up asking if he can study them!! but even the plushies can tell he's small, so what do they do? play!
they play "scientist" as rui calls it, where he investigates the plushies and tries to find out how they work!!! thankfully when he's small he's less inclined to cut them open, and more inclined to pet them, hug them, and ask them every question his brain can come up with!!
after over an hour of playing, the plushies notice rui is "investigating them" with less intensity, rubbing his eyes, and yawning...
within a few minutes, the plushies and rui are now somehow, with absolutely no possible explanation, curled up in the show tent, kaito's coat draped over them. :)
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Sebastian would love the no purpose flour post. Modern AU Ciel would show him it once and I think he’d talk about it for days afterwards. It’s been a week and he’s still like ‘oho so glad to be making pasta with this purposeful flour, unlike the flour that person from the internet was sold’. Ciel regrets ever showing him
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Bottom yakumo fics i rotate thru bc the tag is playing games with me
EIDEN:
(Sequel) https://archiveofourown.org/works/49270402
(locked) https://archiveofourown.org/works/37453975
(locked) https://archiveofourown.org/works/48090496
KUYA (some dubcon+yaku whump):
ASTER:
QUINCY:
https://archiveofourown.org/works/54831790
EDMOND:
https://archiveofourown.org/works/52916077
NOT EXPLICITLY BOTTOM, BUT FITS THE SUBBY ~FEELING~
https://archiveofourown.org/works/37413112
(locked) https://archiveofourown.org/works/49106176
https://archiveofourown.org/works/50601046/chapters/128881948#workskin
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My Rosh Hashanah resolution was "get back on tumblr" and my Gregorian New Year's resolution was "get back on tumblr" and now it is late January and I'm getting back on tumblr because I just watched Dead Friend Forever Ep 5 and need to go insane with other people about Non and the potential for Non/Jin/Phee..........
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