I've seen people say it before, but it still blows my mind that the only parents not in the Bad Parent polycule are the CANONICAL SWINGERS

Thinking about the Bad Parents this episode because like, imagine your child, who's constantly burdened with the fate of the world, comes to you after school and says it's not enough. That they have to take the Last Stand exam and it's tomorrow. You have no time to take time off work to be with them, to be able to wait for them when they get home.

And then the next day you say goodbye in the morning, you kiss them on the head and tell them you love them. But you know that the next time you see them they will have died. You know that all the day you're at work, your child is fighting for their life in a drastic last stand. How do you focus with that knowledge? How do you move on, wondering if your child is already dead? That while your working or doing chores, your child could be lying on a sandy flood, dead, while all their friends fight for their lives?

How do you move past it? How do you live out that day?

a lot of wild shit happened yeah but i just have to say that for me the most satisfying and genuinely good thing in this finale and the best bit of porter getting rocked... it was freshman year, the first barbarian class ever. what does rage mean to you? gorgug starts speaking without having been asked and he starts singing a song his parents taught him. you can see porter choosing to dismiss this person right then and there. the world is coming asunder and tearing apart. its burning down to make place for a new god of war, but he's losing. of all the bad ass shit you can do, of all the one liners you can drop... once more gorgug sings the song his parents taught him, now level 14 and ruining this man forever. fuck it's always been about the song man

objectively the funniest part about gorgug’s parents being swingers is that he is still the only bad kid not somehow related to the others. like yes digby and wilma FUCK but they are not part of the polycule

THEY/THEM

emily repeatedly whispering swingers and siobhan muttering yeah a sex swing while zac as gorgug does the most incredible face journey is killing me

can't wait for the thistlesprings to pull up on porter's home address with the tank they canonically have when they find out about what he said to gorgug

Siobhan saying 'We didn't think they were having sex! We though it was like an area of academic interest!' about Wilma and Digby is so on point for teenagers. Like, sure, Gorgug's parents have a sex binder, are completely frank about discussing bodies and sex, and are consistently sex positive, but they can't be having any sex... they're old!

No one in the Thistlespring family is defeating the machine fucker allegations

the worst day of gorgug's life being the day he has to fight his parents sentient, turned-evil sex machines rather than the day he literally died seems like a fair call to me

still not over brennan’s choice to establish the thistlesprings as people who made the most of the night yorb situation in a particular kind of way and then immediately trap them in a washer and dryer and start the spin cycle. insane behavior

Monsterfucker Faeth family and machinefucker Thistlespring family

Hot take: if they had been even a little bit more involved in s1, the Thistlesprings would have been good people to take in Kristen!

They're open in a way that directly contradicts everything her parents were against, including about sex and such! She would have actually had adults in the home that she would be able to talk to about it! Also, they're really dedicated and I think would so a better job of checking up with her! Not that Jawbone and Sandra Lynn are doing a bad job, they're just super outnumbered as things are! The Thistlesprings are less busy! Plus I think it's be cute for her and Gorgug to get more screen time together (especially when you consider that he's the first person she talked to in Freshman year idk I think that's nice).

To add to the bit of it all, it would make Kristen and Gorgug siblings to further cement the whole they're-slowly-becoming-one-big-family thing

the gukgaks and the thistlesprings both always stay strapped but in two VERY different ways

Actually my ideal Sypre sidequest is THE PARENTS ADVENTURE, starring:

Surena Marie and Carlos Luna as Wilma and Digby Thistlespring

Izzy Roland as Sandra Lynn Faeth

Brennan Lee Mulligan as Jawbone O'Shaughnessy

Rekha Shankar as Sklonda Gukgak

Aabria Iyengar as Hilariel Seacaster

DMed by Lou Wilson and cameo starring Raph Chestang as Gilear Faeth and Ify Nwadiwe as Gorthalax the Insatiable, in Carlos-as-Doctor-Wenabocker style