I haven't been following the depp heard trial (bcs I have better things to do with my time) so I know basically nothing about it besides the absolute basics.
However one thing I have seen is the sheer glee some people have been exhibiting over shitting on Heard. Which, yeah, if she is guilty ( again I dont know if she is or not and it's kinda besides the point I'm trying to make) can be understood to a certain level.
Yes the thing she is being accused of are disgusting and unforgivable.
But the way certain people have been behaving, going on rants about Heard's appearance (her hair, her clothes, her make up) (of all things), the way she smiles, the way she cries. Criticising every single thing she is doing or has done in the past and doing so with joyful enthusiasm.
And on the other side of this, those same people are praising Depp over his appearance, his smiles, his jokes, making him out to be this perfect angel and refusing to admit that he can and absolutely has made mistakes.
It really tells a lot and it leaves me wondering:
Are these people truly, justifiably, horrified and appalled by her alleged actions or are they just happy to shit on a woman, saying disgusting things about her without having to worry about the reaction of the general public?
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This case, man.
Idk what's more triggering @ this point,
The fact nobody will shut up about Heard supposedly having BPD
Or her blatant HPD jumping out the screen at us in real time.
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I'm triggered AF. But I can't turn away.
The whole fucking thing makes my blood boil.
She, like every HPD bitch I've ever met, is a traitor to women and a menace to society.
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The HPD element is triggering enough I'm actually seeking out someone to discuss it with who has been exposed to the toxic nature of HPD.
(No luck yet. It's, apparently, such a little known disorder... it seems nobody really even knows what it is. Sigh. FUCK. 😭)
I think it's especially hard when everyone sees and hears her behavior and believes it's BPD, when I'm like... holy fuck balls... she's histrionic AF.
It feels like... being victimized by someone w HPD all over again, basically.
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See... now I'm crying. It's fucking with me that much.
I was bullied (I didn't see it as bullying at the time, just thought some girls were nice and some girls were fn cunts, even if they're your "friend") by girls w HPD basically half my life.
I don't want to name names, but this includes close girlfriends, girls who claimed to be my best friend, frienemies, and girls who actually were my best friend (for years) even if they were also in many ways my biggest adversary and subjecting me to constant bullying, and abuse, basically.
To have lived with these girls constantly ruining my life for literal decades
To be a grown adult, above all that shit
To now only have this bitch
Spitting in the face of actual survivors of DV, rape, etc
And on top of it all...
For the world to think that I am this type of person, because we supposedly share the same PD?!
It's a fucking nightmare.
I am nothing like this bitch.
Bitches like this tortured me.
She's torturing every survivor and every female with BPD as we fucking speak.
How can people think victims of her antics and of people like her... could possibly be like her?!
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Idk how the fuck other people are wired, but I'm not a vindictive little cunt.
I don't get attention by hurting other people or even by attempting to take the attention away from other people (there's enough attention to go around).
And certainly the last thing in the world I would ever do is... God! Literally anything and everything she's doing right now!
It takes an incredibly, incredibly fucked up human being with A LOT more fn wrong with them than 2 gender-biased PDs to be pulling the shit this fucked up bitch is pulling.
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That fucking video that's going around supposedly describing HPD & BPD does NOT describe BPD.
It very very clearly describes HPD & NPD, at great length. That Dr, for whatever reason, just decided to list all the features of a dog then call it a cat. And the world listened, as if this one fucking woman had all the answers.
Do you know that the rate of misdiagnosis is like 88%? 88%!
But this bitch, who met w Heard, for all of 2 fucking days has all the answers?
Obviously not.
That video describes at least one trait and/or symptom of every B-cluster disorder that exists.
But, if we're going to label that video, it is NOT a description of HPD & BPD. It is a description of HPD & NPD.
Anyone with google can look up the criteria.
This bitch fucked us all.
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I'm obviously not on Amber's side, but this "doctor" didn't need to throw millions of women under the bus to prove her fucking point. Smh.
It's despicable.
This is hurting people.
My Twitter is full of women, on both teams, pleading to not be stigmatized by this BPD diagnosis.
We've always faced stigma, but this is on a grand scale.
And it's so damaging.
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Shit finally seemed to be looking up.
BPD dx was looking to be a thing of the past.
They were realizing we had PTSD, CPTSD, spectrum disorders/neurodivergency.
All these years... they were wrong about many, many of us and we were on our road to redemption and recovery and support for our actual issues, finally...
Then this case happens. And it just cuts us at the knees.
Sigh
It's so fucked up.
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I, technically, am no longer diagnosed with BPD.
My official files now say CPTSD (+ ADHD and shit, but for the sake of this conversation, that's kindof moot).
My therapist has been treating me for APD (formerly known as Aspergers) for awhile now. It's in my chart and insurance information, but I'm not technically officially officially diagnosed yet. Kindof a technicality.
But anyway
So... all in all
As of 2022, I just have CPTSD & ASD.
(Just. Ha.)
But, no. I'm no longer considered borderline. Maybe I never was.
But even if I were, at this time, I no longer meet BPD criteria (hallelujah). Regardless.
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But still.
BPD was part of my identity for half of my life.
Plus, of course, I care about everyone else still in the struggle.
We're all in this community together.
We've been through so fucking much already.
Especially us old folks who realize we've been underdiagnosed and misdiagnosed our whole fucking lives.
There's a whole generation of us. All just trying to recover. And figure out, what now?
This is the last fucking thing we needed.
5 steps forward and 20 steps back.
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Amber Heard's bullshit and one goddamn paid "doctor" get to do that to us?
Have we not been through enough?
I swear to god.
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A lifetime screaming into the void.
I am not the only one.
THIS
IS NOT
JUSTICE.
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I can't believe this circus has gotten to the point that I feel the need to say something, but I'm gonna say it: I believe Amber Heard.
I believe the case that proved 12 out of 14 cases of Johnny's abuse of Amber to the civil standard. I believe the ex-girlfriend who has adamantly denied accusations of Amber abusing her. I believe the makeup artist who covered her bruises. I believe the hotel staff that had to clean up the messes of his violent rampages. I believe Ellen Barkin, a former partner of Johnny, who has also testified about his volatility. I believe Amber's sister, who witnessed some of the violence. I believe her good friend, who was brought to tears while describing the fear she had for Amber's wellbeing. And I believe Amber herself, when she says she feared for her life at times in their relationship.
I so wanted to dismiss this case as celebrity drama and move on, but the cesspit of social media has not allowed me to do so. Everywhere I go, I see reaction videos and memes. It's being consumed like a fandom war—to the point that people genuinely thought it was acceptable to use a description of sexual assault as a tiktok sound. I don't care if they thought it was a lie; the content was horrifying and triggering and not amusing at all. And it was rape culture at its finest ("Amber honey, that sounds like fun. Why are you complaining?").
YouTube recommends videos of this case like it's the next influencer cancel-war, and the comments are full of the most vile, misogynistic sentiments I've ever seen. "Hystrionic Personality Disorder" is being treated like a legitimate diagnosis (but only for women, of course), rather than the 21st century version of hysteria—aka a diagnosis specifically designed to discount the authentic distress of women. (Ever read Yellow Wallpaper?)
I do believe that men can be, and are, victims of domestic abuse. They deserve unequivocal support. But beyond the ravings of fangirls, the proof is simply not on Johnny's side. To be fair, I actually believe Johnny about many things—I believe the multiple times he told witnesses (and was recorded admitting) that he cut his own finger. I believe his texts admitting that he wanted to drown then burn Amber and then rape her corpse. I believe that Amber hurled horrible insults at him and struck him, as abuse victims often do when provoked by their abusers. I believe the many, many vile things he's said about/called women.
And yeah, it's a real disappointment. I understand the nostalgia surrounding Johnny Depp. In many ways, he defined the media of my generation. But when I say I don't give a shit, I really mean it. I believe he abused his wife. And I stand with Amber.
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