Because there is rumors that in SOC3 Kaz might die, I decided to write down how I think the crows(+colm our honorary crow) would react to his death.
Jesper:
Gambling with the fortune Kaz left him.
Doing research into his past and trying to see if he had any family to notify.
Quiter and avoids the Barrel unless he's drunk or really needed.
When on Jobs he's more cruel, and doesn't hesitate to kill anyone, also more cruel in a casual setting and doesn't make as many jokes
Overall very depressed for a while, and maybe focuses on something else like his fabricator abilities.
Wylan
Pays for a funeral and an actual gravestone.
Tries to support everyone. Even though he isn't doing well himself.
Insults Kaz alot to avoid the fact that he's gone, and he doesn't really know what to do.
Plays more flute, and sadder and more mellow songs.
Tries to deal with Jesper and help him mourn healthily.
Buys the Crow Club, and doesn't change any of it.
Starts dressing darker and more like Kaz, keeps his cane is a special glass container.
Nina(if chaper 40 never happened):
Doesn't take as long as the group in ketterdam do to deal with it.
Tries to get Matthias to understand that he did care about Kaz, and that they were friends.
Tries to bring him back to life by using her grisha magic, and by reading almost every book there is.
Eventually breaks down, and spends a day crying with Jesper, Inej, and Wylan.
Matthias:
It takes him a while to acknowledge that he did care about Kaz.
Keeps insisting for days after that Kaz will just show up at the door since he's a demijn and that means he can't die. Though he knows the truth deep down.
Hides his emotion and starts preying to djel, contemplates going back to fjerda to recieve his punishment for betrayal, though Nina stops him and they have a heart to heart.
He adopts a dog, and names him Kaz. He puts a tie on the collar to remind him of his lost friend.
Overall takes it decently, since I think that Matthias would believe he is happy and he will see Kaz soon.
Colm:
Doesn't believe Jesper when he tells him over a letter.
Travels to Ketterdam to get answers, only to find the group of teens mourning.
Decides to let them stay in his hotel(after he gets a bigger one) and takes care of them for a few weeks.
Cooks them meals, buys them some blankets and pillows for comfort. Just helps them mourn in general.
He is in shock, unable to comprehend how little the Crows know about Kaz's past.
Decides that he is going to figure out his past, and see if he has anyone to notify.
Overall Colm is just caring to who is left, and wants to help them move on and not feel guilty about not knowing their friend.
Inej:
First of them to know.
Takes it the worst, ends up killing on heists and being more brutal towards people.
She kills Pekka Rollins, and burns down the Menagerie out of anger.
She waits to tell the rest of the crows the day after, since she wants to see them be happy for a little longer.
First she breaks down into Wylans arms and tells him that she can't tell Jesper, because he will always associate her with it. And she can't deal with that right now.
Next she tells Nina, who breaks down and they both spend a girls night drinking and sharing memories of Kaz.
Eventually she sends a message to Colm saying.
"I'm so sorry, but Kaz died. Jesper might need you, no one is taking it well.
Love,
Inej Ghafa"
She sends the message then sneaks back to Kaz's old room and sleeps there.
She has no regrets about their relationship exept that neither of them got the chance to fully open up to one another.
She mourns for years, over her lost life with him. But also revels in the freedom, now having less ties to Ketterdam, and being able to do what she wants without thinking of a lover.
She still visits Jesper and Wylan a decade later, but not nearly as much, and she is free at sea, saving children and adults from slavers, and occasionally helping one of the other crows with a heist or anything else they may need.
Thanks for reading. I'm not crying you are.
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location : azamet, the finantial district
time : around 9 or 10 in the morning
with : kaz brekker @demijn
there was a lot of work feride didn't exactly need to do herself — she has more employees she should be able to count, after all, but to say she trusts them, to any extent, would be far fetched and she often made measures to keep them on their toes, such as visits to the warehouses at the exchange whenever her schedule ( or mood of the day ) allowed her to. this morning's inspection had given positive results, minimal waste of product and time, with a good calculation of the shipment time and estimate of the prices; thankfully, the deal had been struck two weeks past, before all of the unpleasantness, and she could only hope it would hold. though there was a smile on her lips as she departed from the exchange, feride could not help but to feel a coolness in her belly, as if she was waiting for the other shoe to drop.
the shoe is the first thing she sees upon entrance of azamet. dirty hands was hard to miss, after all, standing apart from the couple of patrons not for his garb — for he did choose good cuts, at least that feride could not complain — but for the aura that emanated from his person, enough to make the woman on the table next to his drag her chair to the farthest distance she could just to get away from him. for a moment, feride wishes his seat could be pushed far too, preferably away from her restaurant but with a small flutter of the lips, she makes her way to her least esteemed patron.
“mr. brekker.” slowly removing her gloves, she glances at his own clothed hands, then at the single coffee he ordered. fucking brat. “have you come to disturb my waiting staff? they are not familiar with undemanding customers such as yourself.” in public, at least, she must maintain the appearance; it is to the other patrons that her voice leaks honey, and her smile tugs at full lips, but as her eyes stay on the bastard of the barrel, they are sharp, a question stabbing at his own face. what do you want? they mean to say, but her lips do not ( yet ).
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‘ i wish i would’ve loved you better . ’ // inej .
THE HAUNTING OF HILL HOUSE // closed
inej could hit him . could — because don’t lie to me kaz . not about this . she’d said her goodbyes already . to him and to the city and now the sound of the sea crashes against her ribs . ( funny , how the water made them both new . one crawling from its depths a dead boy / a changed man . and her : hungry for the freedom it promised . ) she could hit him but he’s already sworn by the hard set of his jaw that he wouldn’t lie . not about this . ( she’s still waiting for that to scare her )
now all that’s left is her leaving . his words , an open chasm between them and inej has never been afraid of falling . never worried about hitting bottom until she found him reaching up from hell . ( and was she waiting for him to catch her ? or drag her down with him ? ) either way every time he speaks of love it’s an outstretched hand . the fire reminds her of the furnace in the ice court . of everything she did in his name . it reminds her of every late night spent in the quiet of his office with the low burn of the lamps warming the cold pale of his skin . he isn’t a dead boy . she’s seen him breathe . heard his heart and felt the warm of his blood .
( did i fall this far to find him ? did i touch hell to come back with his soul ? ) dirtyhands doesn’t have a soul . inej settles for wrapping her hand around his . i wish i would’ve loved you better . she won’t tell him that he loved her enough . it’s not a lie he deserves .
❝ but you did . ❞ they were both born in water . but now inej can’t look to the sea because she’s thinking about life . bodies always reach the shore eventually and they both washed up here . born and died and born again . ( she isn’t a dead girl — he’s seen her breathe ) she’s looking at him . she hasn’t stopped since she found him . ❝ but you did .❞
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‘ please stay. if i can, you can. ’ // for inej maybe :)c
this is a moment she’d never expected to experience ——dreamed of, perhaps, fantasized about, but never truly believed to be possible. it feels — it feels like something cracking inside of her, and that rift takes with it the breath in her lungs, leaving her without enough even to speak a response.
oh, and the responses she’d had ready, too. inej is not meant for ketterdam. no matter how much time she’s spent here, with the dregs, with kaz, it isn’t her home, and it doesn’t feel right to stay when she’s been planning to leave. and his words are false, in a way. he belongs to this place, fits into its cracks as though he’d always been meant to make it whole. ketterdam has plenty of spiders, but there’s only one kaz brekker, and it needs him as much as he needs it.
for a long time she just stares at him, still, silent. it was always this — this is what she’d wanted all along. this is what she’d meant when she said she wanted him without armor. and here he stands, saying the words she’d needed to hear, and still inej feels more torn than ever. ❛ it’s not the same. ❜ there’s a point she means to make, here. the two of them are too different, what they needed from this place was too different, it’s not fair to compare them in such a way. but her words die before crossing her lips. she wants to, she wants to stay, here, with him, with him. it would be so easy to give in to that want, to reach out a hand and —— and then what? they both recoil from the touch? how fitting it is that the one person she’s ever wanted to touch her is as terrified to do so as she is to feel it.
she barely moves, and her movements do nothing to interrupt the silence that’s begun to settle heavily around them until she’s standing before him with eyes searching his own. it was always this. the two of them at odds but still intertwined in a way that she thinks maybe neither will ever understand. ❛ you don’t need me here—— ❜ she whispers, and hates herself for the reassurance those words beg. he’s already asked her to stay, what more does she want from him? ❛ ——and i need to do this, for me. ❜
MEME » @demijn
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