#decided to post now cuz i was in an angsty mood
Text
Sometimes, he doesn't want to have his face in the pictures. It would hurt too much to look at them and realize, he's the only one left.
(Sort of a companion piece to this post)
#'If looking at pictures of the past only brought pain then would you still want to be a part of them?'#and yes he's side eyeing that one pic of him and sensei garmadon#lloyd garmadon#ninjago#lego ninjago#ninjago fanart#adelebart#this was sitting too long in my folder#decided to post now cuz i was in an angsty mood#ninjago headcanons
2K notes
·
View notes
Note
i know u have a gazillion requests but what if we spice up that Carlos fic? if you decide to do a pt 3. maybe Carlos is once again is frustrated because of the penalty after a good quali and has sex with Rebecca cuz he can't find the model. a lil angst
It’s no secret, I’m in an angsty kinda writing mood at the moment 😅
I also forgot who was meant to be the toxic one...and now it's both of them.
Lady in Red (3) || CS55
Pairing: Carlos Sainz Jr x fem!reader
Warnings: 18+ only, NSFW, smut, cheating, manipulation
WC: 1.5k
One || Two || Three || Four
You had been called away to work just before qualifying finished. You and half a dozen other models were asked to stand behind the top three drivers and wave feather fans for the cameras while an Elvis impersonator pumped out his signature dance moves.
From your position you could see the frustration on Carlos’ face. He had qualified second fastest yet he was going to have to start from 12th on the grid. You weren’t the only person in the area upset by the 10 place penalty and the Ferrari supporters were making their opinion known as they chanted for Carlos.
“Alright, sweethearts, we need you over at the Bellagio for some promo shots and then you’re free for the night,” one of the headset-clad organisers said to the group you were with before checking her watch. “Or should I say morning.”
The drive back from the Bellagio to the paddock seemed to take hours with the road closures and checkpoints, but finally you made it back. Knowing Carlos would be waiting somewhere for you, you scanned each floor to find him before heading straight to the top.
“Fuck, mi amor, this is what I need,” Carlos moaned.
You froze at the sordid scene you had walked in on. Neither one saw you in the doorway of the darkened room, their backs to you as Carlos bent Rebecca over the desk and pounded into her. He curled her hair around his fist and pulled back so to expose the pleasure painted on her face.
You didn’t even notice you were crying until a droplet fell from your cheek to land on your breast, the feather girl outfit he enjoyed on full display. You suddenly hated how exposed you felt in the ridiculous costume. It was almost as ridiculous as you - for thinking a man like him could change.
“Take it, cariña, take it,” he stammered as you recognised the pinch of his brow. He was close. He was close to finishing and you were more than done with seeing it.
You were conscious of your footsteps as you retreated from the room and descended downstairs. You just needed to make it to your dressing room so you could get your stuff and go.
“Hey,” Charlotte called out as she caught your arm and pulled you to a stop with a friendly smile. “Carlos was looking for you earlier. Did you find him?”
“Yeah, I did,” you whispered, quickly wiping the tears from your cheeks. “Don’t bother drafting up the breakup post.”
Her smile dimmed as confusion replaced it. “What breakup post?”
“Huh,” you laughed humorlessly as you shook your head at your stupidity. “The one Carlos clearly didn’t talk to you about. God, I am a fucking idiot.”
You left the track, heading straight back to your hotel room and before you even reached the room you saw Carlos’ name come up on your phone. You sent him straight to voicemail, again and again.
You barely slept as you thought about how humiliated you felt. You wanted to get him back but you weren’t innocent yourself. You knew your career would be over if you outed the relationship you had with Carlos, even if it made you feel better momentarily. No, you weren’t going to bloody your hands for him, there was already a stain on your soul for what you had knowingly done.
You were a survivor and you were smarter than your recent actions showed. You knew things about Carlos that he had been foolish enough to share in the unburdened state that came after sharing his bed. You were going to use it to your advantage and do what you did best, be the envy of every man.
You had turned your phone off when you arrived at the paddock for the race but it was going to be impossible to ignore Carlos when you were assigned to the Ferrari team.
“Stacy, swap with me?” you begged as she waited for Charles to escort him to the grid. “Pleeeease.”
“Whatever, French boys aren’t my thing anyway,” she said with a grin before heading next door to Carlos’ side.
“I’m not French,” Charles corrected as he stepped out of his room. “I’m Monégasque.”
“Today, you’re pole,” you said with a grin as you offered your elbow out to him. “Ready to go?”
You didn’t glance in Carlos’ direction as you accompanied Charles out onto the grid. You didn’t even have to fake enjoying the company as you found the Monégasque had a good sense of humour and made you laugh the entire way.
From the slamming of Carlos’ car door you knew you were getting to him. Carlos’ fear was losing to his team mate and he was sick of always being compared to Charles Leclerc.
Carefully angling the feather fan to hide your faces from the jealous driver, you leant in and wished Charles good luck for the race. To the fans, you were clearly talking, but to Carlos? He would always think the worst.
Charles was high with adrenaline when he arrived at the Bellagio after coming second place. It wasn’t the win he was obviously hoping for but you could see how happy he was with the result.
“So, you like Charles now, huh?” Stacy whispered as she stood as you did, a fake smile on your faces as you lined the interview stage.
You cast her a quick side glance and winked. “I don’t know what you are talking about.”
“I know why you wanted to swap, Carlos acts like a fucking baby. He practically trashed his garage after Charlotte spoke to him about something. God, I wish I could have heard what that conversation was about.”
“Hmm, me too,” you said with a sick sense of delight as the interviews wrapped up. “Oh, finally, almost time to party.”
“You must be happy, proving Carlos wrong,” you teased Charles as you escorted him back to the Rolls Royce he arrived in.
His steps faltered and he slowed his walk as his other podium finishers drifted further ahead. “What do you mean?”
“Well, he’s been telling everyone how much better a driver he is compared to you,” you stated with a shrug. It was an exaggeration, you had overheard him complaining to his father in the garage. “But you showed him.”
“A better driver?” Charles scoffed. “He is full of shit.”
He seemed to be in deep contemplation as he walked silently, until he reached the car and turned to you. “You should come to the after party.”
Carlos had already added you to the invite list but you smiled and batted your lashes as Charles. “Are you asking me?”
He blushed and laughed at himself as he nodded. “Would you like to come to the after party with me?”
“You don’t have a girlfriend do you?”
“No,” he laughed warmly. “I wouldn’t be asking to take you if I did.”
“Then I would love to go with you.” You gave him your room number that was conveniently in the same hotel as him, since both Ferrari drivers stayed in the same one.
You already had the perfect dress waiting in your room and as you stood in front of the mirror you had to admit you looked stunning. The red dress was tailored to your body and the plunging neckline was risque and exactly what you envisioned it to be. You couldn’t wait to see Carlos’ face when you walked into the party on his teammate's arm.
“Hey,” you greeted as you opened the door after the knock, but it wasn’t who you expected to see on the other side. “Carlos, what are you doing here?”
His jaw fell slack, lips parting, as his eyes trailed down your body. “Mios dios, hermosa.”
You held your hand out, planting it on his chest as he stepped forward to kiss you. “Woah there, buddy, not happening.”
“Why not? Why have you been ignoring me?” he asked with genuine confusion.
“I saw you fucking Rebecca last night after Qualifying.”
He looked a little sheepish as he scratched the back of his heated neck. “I couldn’t find you.”
“Is that supposed to make me feel better when you call her ‘mi amor’ too?”
“I didn’t mean it, I-I was thinking about you,” his eyes widened as his voice went up a pitch. “I swear.”
You nodded sympathetically as you rubbed his arm. “Of course, like you were thinking about me when you didn’t have that chat with Charlotte. Yeah, I know you didn't, so just go back to your girlfriend.”
“But I want you,” he pouted as he bowed his head and looked up with big brown puppy dog eyes.
“But I don’t want you. Not anymore.” You gave him a push and he ceded the space in your doorway as the elevator across the hall opened and Charles stepped out looking good in a pair of jeans and a fitted shirt with the sleeves rolled up to his elbow. “Hey handsome,” you greeted him with a smile as you grabbed a black clutch with your phone and money. “Perfect timing.”
“You are breathtaking,” he said after a few blinks to recover from the sight of you. He smiled as he brushed past Carlos to kiss your cheek, ignoring the Spaniard completely. “Ready to go, chérie?”
You took his hand and sent a dark smile in Carlos’ direction as you passed by. “See you around, red man.”
Click here for part four.
#carlos sainz imagine#carlos sainz fanfic#carlos sainz x reader#formula 1 fanfic#formula 1 x reader#formula one imagine#f1 fanfic#f1 imagine
669 notes
·
View notes
Text
Girl in the Chair
Request: saw a post regarding this and now i can't get this out of my mind: how about a teen!cousin sister!reader x ag!peter parker fic where she's may and ben's daughter so they're basically raised together and one day she finds out about him being spidey and then starts helping him out with little stuff (like making silly excuses for his absence at home and patching him up)?
Peter Parker (Andrew Garfield) x cousin!reader
Summary: Y/N helps Peter keep his secret identity.
Warnings: swear words, kind of angsty ig, some fluff
a/n: thank you for the request! yes, i did get the whole "person in the chair" thing from tom's spider-man. hope you all enjoy!
(gif not mine)
Y/N was the closest thing that Peter had to a sibling. She was only four years old when Peter's parents left, only two years younger than him. Even before he had to move in with them, they were still very close and each other's best friends.
After Peter's parents disappeared and he permanently moved in, they ended up growing closer and they did practically everything together. They were there for each other through all of the hard times.
When Ben died, it destroyed both of them. For the first few days, they comforted each other, but after that Peter started getting distant and he was almost never home.
Currently, Y/N is lying on Peter's bed, her hair hanging off the end of it. She's on her phone, waiting for him to get home, though she doesn't really expect him to get back.
The window opens and Y/N looks over, watching as Spider-Man climbs in the window. Her eyes widen and her jaw drops as she watches him come through the window. Spider-Man drops to his feet and takes the mask off only to reveal Peter making Y/N's eyes practically pop out of her socket.
"Oh, my God!" She yells, sitting up. Peter jumps about a foot in the air, finally noticing her.
"Y/N." Peter says heavily. "He-- uh, hey. What's, uh... what's up, sis-cuz?" He awkwardly laughs.
"You're Spider-Man!" Y/N gasps.
"What?!" Peter's voice raises a few octaves. "I-- no. No, no, I... I'm not."
"Then what the hell are you wearing?" Y/N asks, raising an eyebrow.
"Uh..." Peter looks down at the suit. "Um... I... school play?"
"You go to a science school, genius." Y/N remarks.
"Uh... well, what the hell are you doing in my room anyway?" Peter asks, locking his bedroom door.
"You promised we'd watch Harry Potter, remember? And despite you not keeping a single promise the past couple of weeks, I was still holding out a little hope." Y/N explains.
"Okay. Right. We can watch it now." Peter says.
"Oh, who cares about wizard children right now. You're Spider-Man." Y/N states.
"Okay, okay, fine! Yes! I am Spider-Man!" Peter hisses.
"What the hell?" Y/N asks.
"I-- it's a long story." Peter says.
"What, because I'm so busy?" Y/N scoffs.
"Look, you... you can't tell anybody. All right, nobody. Not a single soul. Not even Aunt May." Peter says.
"You want me to lie to my mom?" Y/N asks.
"Like you've never lied to her before?" Peter retorts, knowing full well that she has.
"Well, yeah, on my own accord." Y/N says. "Why can't I tell anybody?" Y/N asks.
"Because then they know who it is, and I... I don't want that. Who knows what kind of attention or-or danger that could bring." Peter says.
"Danger to who?" Y/N asks.
"Me. Us." Peter says.
"When did this happen?" Y/N asks.
"I... I might've snuck into Oscorp one day... trying to find stuff out about my parents. I snuck into a lab that had genetically altered spiders and one kind of, you know, bit me. And I woke up and could do stuff."
"When did you decide to start using the powers?" Y/N asks. "Once you learned how to control them, at least. Assuming you didn't have instant control."
"Look, can we just talk about this later? I don't... I'm not in the mood." Peter says.
"Oh, come on. I just found out you've been Spider-Man, you're gonna make me lie to everybody, you've been keeping this secret and God knows how many more from me, and you want me to let it go?"
"Okay, okay. After... after Uncle Ben, I... I started to look for the robber who-- who, you know..." He doesn't really want to say it.
"Who killed my father, yeah." Y/N forces a pained smile. "Go on."
"I... and I started trying to find the one that did it. And at some point I made the suit and-and the web shooters and I became Spider-Man and... well, I'm still looking for the robber, but I'm also now Friendly Neighborhood Spider-Man. Fighting crime. With no true identity."
"You know my dad wasn't your fault, right?" Y/N asks.
"He was out looking for me, so--"
"Pete..."
"Rather it was my fault or not, I'm finding the guy that killed him, okay?!" Peter snaps.
"You're also putting yourself in danger. Especially going after the guy." Y/N argues.
"Well, you and Aunt May were pretty broken up that night. I can't... I can't just let him live with it." Peter says.
"You're gonna kill him?" Y/N asks.
"I'll probably just turn him in." Peter says.
"You're a dumbass." Y/N says.
"Just promise me you won't tell anybody." Peter pleads.
"Fine. I promise." Y/N says.
"Pinky." Peter holds his pinky out.
"Really?" She asks.
"You're the one who started it." Peter counters. Y/N rolls her eyes, but links her pinky with his. "Just don't die on me, please."
"I won't." Peter assures. "So... Harry Potter?"
"No. No, uh... I think I'm just gonna... stay in my room tonight. See you tomorrow... or whenever." Y/N says, unlocking the door and leaving.
- - -
A few days later, Peter gets home from school, immediately greeted by May.
"Where were you last night?" She asks.
"Wha-- where was I?" Peter asks.
"Yes. Yes, where were you?" May repeats the question.
"I, um... I, uh--"
"He was up on the roof. You know, how we always used to sneak up there as kids." Y/N says, quickly walking up.
"Right. Right. Yeah... yeah, I was... I was there." Peter nods.
"Wha-- why?" May asks.
"He got too hot in his room. And he lost track of time and fell asleep." Y/N says.
"I-- just don't do it again." May says.
"Got it." Peter says.
May looks between the two before just sighing and leaving, shaking her head muttering under her breath.
"The roof?" Peter mumbles.
"What, because it's too much of a lie? We used to do that all the time." Y/N says.
"Yeah, but... still, really?" Peter asks.
"Come on." Y/N grabs his arm, dragging him to his room. Y/N shuts and locks the door. "Okay, so I've been thinking and I'm gonna help you."
"help me with what?" Peter asks.
"Being Spider-Man." Y/n says.
"What?" Peter chuckles.
"Yeah." Y/N nods.
"No. No, no. I'm... you don't have any, you know, powers or anything." Peter says. "And I'm not taking you straight into danger."
"Not like that. Just like... you know, I can lie for you. Make up excuses when mom asks where you are. Or-or help you with injuries. Surely, you get hurt... which makes me feel worse about this whole Spider-Man thing, but, uh, you know. Or if you need help figuring something out."
"I can make my own excuses." Peter says.
"Yeah, but you suck at them." Y/N says.
"Wha-- no I don't." Peter frowns.
"You told mom you were fixing my bike one time." Y/N says.
"Yeah, and?" Peter asks, not seeing the issue.
"I haven't had a bike since I was twelve." Y/N says.
"I thought it was good." Peter mumbles.
"Yeah, maybe if I still had a bike." Y/N says. "Oh! And I can help you make more web fluid shooting things."
"You're failing science." Peter reminds.
"Because you have no time to help me and the tutors at my school are assholes." Y/N retorts. "And fine, not that, but everything else."
"Y/N..." Peter sighs.
"Oh, come on. I wouldn't even have to leave my room for any of it. It's like... like I'm your, uh... oh! Your girl in the chair." Y/N grins.
"Girl in the chair?" Peter echoes.
"Yeah!" Y/N nods.
"Okay, if it's... just stuff like that... which can be done from inside the house... then, fine." Peter agrees making Y/N grin.
- - -
As time went on, Y/N continued to make up excuses for why Peter wouldn't be somewhere, but always making sure they were excuses that didn't sound dangerous. She helped him with whatever injuries he got, quickly becoming skilled in the patching up process.
Y/N is sitting in her room and staring at her science homework with the most confused expression on her face.
"Y/N? Honey?" Her mother knocks on the door before opening it. "Sweetie, do you know where Peter is?"
"Oh, he's, um... he's... I wanted some ice cream. So I made him go get it." Y/N says.
"You made him get it?" May asks.
"Yeah. Yeah, I mean, I am a teenage girl in the 21st century. It's... it's dangerous out there. He offered, as well." Y/N says.
"Oh... okay. Just... let me know when he gets back. I'll be in my room." May says.
"Got it." Y/N nods, smiling at her mom. May softly smiles at her before leaving, shutting the door behind her.
"That one was actually pretty good." Y/N mutters.
A few minutes later, there's a knock on Y/N's window. She looks over, finding Peter in his Spider-Man suit, but she can see his face, able to spot the multiple cuts on his face.
"Oh, my God!" She exclaims, rushing to the window. She unlocks it, pushing it open. "What the hell happened to your face?" She asks as he climbs in.
"Nice to see you, too." Peter sarcastically smiles.
"Your chest is bleeding." Y/N points out.
"Yeah. Yeah, I know." Peter says.
"Y/N?" They hear May call out. "Honey, you all right?"
"Yes!" Y/N yells, rushing to the door. Peter hides in the closet as the door starts to open, Y/N quickly getting there, stopping her mom from opening it any further. "Yeah. Yes. I'm... I'm great."
"Why were you yelling?" May asks.
"Oh, I was just... I finally understood something in science." Y/N says.
"Oh. That's great, darling." May smiles.
"Yep." Y/N smiles.
"Okay. Keep it up." May says.
"Will do." Y/N says, watching her mom walk off. She sighs, shutting the door and putting a chair in front of it to block it. She turns to Peter who walks out of the closet.
"That might be your stupidest lie yet." Peter teases.
"You know, disinfectant stings. And I'm gonna be the one holding it." Y/N says.
"Sorry." Peter quickly says.
"Yeah." Y/N nods. "Bed." Peter sits on her bed and Y/N gets the first aid kit out of her desk. Y/N grabs her desk chair and puts it in front of Peter and sits on it. She puts the kit next to him and starts cleaning up the injuries on his face. She finishes with his face.
"Okay... take the top part of your suit off." Y/N orders.
"What?" Peter asks.
"I need to clean the wound on your chest. Unless you'd like to continue bleeding." Y/N says.
"I... it'll heal soon. What's the point?" Peter says.
"Pete, I'm your cousin, I've seen you shirtless before." Y/N says. "it's not a big deal."
"Fine." Peter grumbles, taking the top part of his suit off, letting it fall onto the bed. Y/N starts to clean the cut, Peter hissing in pain at the disinfectant. He squirms a little in discomfort.
"Stop being a baby." Y/N chides. Peter quietly mocks her. Y/N presses the cloth with disinfectant harder on his chest, making him let out a quiet cry of pain.
"Ow! God, Y/N. Jesus!" He whispers, pushing her hand away.
"I warned you to watch what you say." Y/N says. She continues to clean his wound.
"I have a question." Peter says.
"What?" Y/N asks.
"Why do you do this?" Peter asks.
"Do what?" Y/N asks.
"Help me." Peter says.
"Why would I not?" Y/N asks.
"You just didn't seem... you know, super supportive of the whole thing." Peter says.
"Well... I figured if you're gonna be brave and stupid, I'd be stupid with you." Y/N says.
"Cool." Peter mumbles. "You're brave, too."
"Well, I'm not the one fighting crime, am I?" Y/N retorts.
"Yeah, but you don't have to be... you know, a cop or-or another sort of crime fighter or something to be brave." Peter says.
"Well, thanks." Y/N mumbles. "There. Done."
"Thank you." Peter tells her.
"Help me with science homework?" Y/N hopefully asks.
"Fine." Peter lightly rolls his eyes.
Peter went to change into pajamas while Y/N sits back at her desk and puts the first aid kit up. Peter soon returns and grabs a chair, sitting next to her.
"What do you not get?" Peter asks.
"Everything." Y/N states.
Taglist: @glxwingrxse
#peter parker#peter parker x cousin reader#peter parker x cousin!reader#peter parker andrew garfield#andrew garfield
121 notes
·
View notes
Text
WIPs Ask Game
@hideyseek tagged me in this thirty-four (34) days ago and I am finally going to participate because I have (somewhat) broken my drought of fic writing and actually have wips I’m (somehwat) working on asldfkajsdf
Anyway, send me a number to get a draft excerpt of what I’m working on!
1. Zaundads Zine Fic (Collab with @1deabril)
A fic that I am definitely most certainly actively working on considering it has a deadline :wanders away innocently: but yeah Silco and Vander post-betrayal and angsty stuff and flashbacks to them being young and innocent and trusting each other and stuffffff
2. Winterhawk fic for @lemon-yellow
I mean...I started this, got really into it, then stalled out for a while because Bucky can’t make up his mind what he wants to do next but HEY WHAT ELSE IS NEW
3. Reality TV Dating Show for @flosculatory
An outline exists for this. It will be written someday, I SWEAR. Basically it’s The Ultimatum on Netflix but with our fave Inception characters and it’s going to be AMAZING (you know, once I write it)
4. AELDWS Week 6 write along
I have a really great opening and then Arthur and Eames kept being all mushy when I wanted them to be tough and badass smh
5. AELDWS Week 1 write along
SO MUCH ANGST POTENTIAL. just gotta (i pause and you all say with me) write it
6. Our Flag Means Death AU
What is says on the tin, OFMD but with Inception crew. Cobb is Stede, Saito is gonna be Blackbeard, Eames as Lucius, Arthur as Izzy, etc etc ( @freighttraininmybrain i SWEAR i am going to write this someday
7. Phillipa-centric fic for @mizunoir
Once again I’ve got a great start to this but am not sure where it should go next so it has been languishing in a dusty corner of my laptop waiting for me to decide haha
8. RobEames fic for @lemon-yellow
Lemon fucking incepted me with this idea and it’s so fucking good and I have like, three whole lines written of it but SOMEDAY. SOME. DAY. Y’ALL.
9. Inception/The Old Guard Crossover Fic
I....really should write more of this. I haven’t. Is anyone surprised? Cuz I’m not.
Also because once you get me talking about fic I don’t shut up, the ongoing list of ideas I want to write but haven’t really started an Official Doc for include
Rob/Nash ficlet/POV of a scene from @somedrunkpirate‘s as-of-now unfinished fic
A Tenet Pacific Rim AU that @halfofawhole got me thinking about
Rob/Nash Cards!Verse. THIS IS GOING TO HAPPEN. I WANT IT TO HAPPEN. IT WOULD BE SO GOOD. SOB.
A Tenet/Inception fic where Neil is A/E’s kid or something? Just some way to mix dreamshare and tenet’s inversion tech, okay??
The fic in my nontraditional hanahaki verse that STARTED my nontradtional hanahaki verse even if it doesn’t exist anywhere at ALL yet aka the fic that, if you go back through my various fic tag posts, I’ve been talking about for YEARS at this point and I am going to write it someday dammit
More ace omega ‘verse. Just, like. All the scenes. Arthur working through his feelings, an Eames POV, Eames in a rut, them mating, just. ALL THE SCENES.
Okay someone get the hook and drag me offstage--
Anyway if you’re in the mood to share!!! (no pressure, no commitment, no interest for 6 months) I’m tagging: @fiamac, @somedrunkpirate, @darlingandmreames, @dingdangit, @slashmania, and anyone else who would like to do this!!
14 notes
·
View notes
Text
fic authors self rec!
i was tagged by @ahundredtimesover - thank you so much! i love these types of tag games
When you get this, reply with your favorite five fics that you've written/fics you’re most proud of, then pass on to at least five other writers. Let’s spread the self-love 💗
i only have 3 released fics right now lkhfds so i will just comment on those 3 and then i can share some sneak peak info about some of the ones i have queued!
Only Here to Sin (Chapter 1) - this was my first fic. i was honestly so stressed about releasing it because i thought it would flop 😂 i literally had like 5 followers when i posted it. it started off as me just trying out some plain ‘ole smut, but i realized there was a lot of potential for a real plot. i originally wrote it from tae’s point of view, but i decided to edit it to be from the reader. i think that made it feel a lot more emotionally empty? in a good way, because the topic is hard - what do we do when we feel backed into a corner by those we love? how do we live with ourselves when we break someone’s trust?
Only Here to Sin (Chapter 2) - this is my most recent fic, and i plan to continue this series with at least 1 (maybe 2) more chapters! this series is really ‘go with the flow’. i’m proud of this chapter because i’ve focused a lot on character development and trying to reshape how we initially view tae, namjoon, and the reader compared to the first chapter. also RIP to namjoon for being an asshole in this one lol it was hard to write!! but yeah, the fic very much speaks to this idea that just because we have experienced pain doesn’t mean we should hurt others, too.
Paint Me Naked - this one has been everyone’s favorite so far (because jk, duh)! ngl this is heavily influenced by my real life - except the guy jk is based off of is just a good friend (although i think he was lowkey in love with me but that’s a whole other thing khsds). my friend really inspired me throughout college and helped me become a better writer, and i’m extremely grateful that i got to know him. people didn’t give him much of a chance because he was standoffish, but we vibed really well. just two quiet, lowkey people trying to navigate a world that doesn’t let people just be themselves. he taught me how to be vulnerable and how to love my writing - even when i thought my work was shitty. art is about the journey for him, and that helped me a lot with my emotions. i hope this fic can make you feel like it’s okay to accept that life sucks sometimes, but there’s always going to be someone in your corner to walk this earth with you.
Nectar (to be released) - my next fic is my first supernatural one! it features jimin, the vampire reader’s new human roommate. i LOVE supernatural shit, so i hope y’all like it! it’s kinda angsty and i really wrote it in a Mood cuz it’s a lil kinky too.
Marry Me (Again & Again) (to be released) - another jimin one, this time a best friends to lovers. it’s my first attempt at something purely fluff with no smut and very little angst. i’m not that great at writing fluff, so i hope this works out!
THIS ENDED UP SO LONG smh sorry i just have a lot of #thoughts, mostly because i’m very new. i only started posting fics in april. anywayy if y’all haven’t done this yet, i tag @jjkeverlast @seokoloqy @yutasthetic @spideyjimin @lookingforluna @7deadlysinsfics @parkdatjimin
pls make sure to check out everyone’s fics! it’s nice to celebrate together what we’re most excited about as writers
10 notes
·
View notes
Text
jean relationship hc’s!
greetings! i realized my url name includes jean and marco and i haven’t written anything for them, so i’m gonna write some jean headcanons here and then post some marco ones later! i love these men so much. (˚ ˃̣̣̥⌓˂̣̣̥ ) jean’s character arc has to be one of my favorites, it’s just so lovely how much he changes and grows.
jean x gn!reader
warnings: minor manga spoilers for chap 127, mentions of marco’s death, kinda angsty?
okay so, first off, this man would get into fights left and right with eren about you. he would always make comments about how hot you are, and eren would be like, “dude, shut the fuck up?”
you were never around when he made these comments, so eren, being your good friend, would get mad at jean for being creepy.
he never meant for it all to come off weird to everyone else. he just has a mega freaking crush on you.
everyone also thought he had a crush on mikasa too, so it was even more annoying.
one day though, eren was just real mad at jean, getting into fights as they usually do, and eren decided to fuck him over.
he went up to you after dinner one night and told you about jean’s raging crush on you. this took you by surprise, but you were kinda pleased.
when he saw you all flustered about it, eren just got even more angry.
“you’re telling me you like that stupid horse face back?!” and you shyly nodded.
he just threw his hands up in exasperation and walked away.
now, you had to go find that stupid horse face and tell him you like him too.
you found him still at the dinner table with connie and sasha, so you asked him if you guys could talk alone for a second.
cue connie and sasha cat calling because they’re those kind of friends.
jean tells them to shut up, but as if that would do anything.
he follows you to an empty hallway and asks you what’s up, cuz he’s a bit worried. he’s never seen you so nervous before.
then it hits him that maybe you know about his crush?
“whatever you heard, it’s not true.”
“o- oh. it’s not?” you visibly deflate and he’s quick to pick up on this.
“maybe?” cue you telling him that if it is, you return the feelings and this boi is dumbstruck and confused because his crush is admitting feelings for him. he does a mental fist pump. or maybe an actual one and you’re just like “wut.”
after you two talk it out more though, he officially asks you to be his s/o to which you say yes to.
lemme tell you, jean boy is a clingy one. he hangs off you any time he’s around you now that he has the ability to do that. always pressing kisses to your lips and wrapping his arms around you.
you two actually get in trouble a lot for sneaking off to make out, which is always jean’s fault. he just can’t keep his lips to himself, okay?
always pet his hair or he will throw a fit and become cranky. he loves when you scratch his head while petting his hair. it really helps him fall asleep when you guys are cuddling.
when jean decided he wanted to grow out his little mullet that he has, and grow some facial hair, you hopped on that train so HARD. like uhm, yes sir, please do. you look good already but the new hair will be some EXTRA hotness.
him rubbing his stubble on you to tickle you when you both are just relaxing together. he takes any chance he can to rub it on your cheek or neck. it’s just so funny to see your reaction to it.
post time skip jean is really tired of all the fighting, so i think that he sometimes just has to take a break and he hides himself away from everyone for some peace and quiet.
you usually find him wherever it is that he decides to hide that day, and just sit next to him, pulling him into a comforting embrace.
you’ve learned that talking to him about it doesn’t really help, and can sometimes make him feel even worse, so you just sit there, giving him your warmth to remind him that not everything is quite so bad. you have each other.
he’s really grateful to always have you at his side, and he never fails to tell you so whenever the mood strikes him. he just loves you so freaking much and doesn’t know how he got so lucky to have you.
he breaks the silence you two have when you’re sitting together to tell you about his daydreams where you two live together, have a nice home and started a family. that those thoughts are what keep him going and give him strength to fight.
please hold him tight when he breaks down crying, telling you that he can’t ever lose you because you are his whole world. sometimes you start crying too and both of you become a giant mess.
when you guys look up to the stars, you both like to talk to marco, hoping that somewhere out there, he hears you guys and misses you two just as much.
when he found out the real reason why marco died, you couldn’t bring yourself to stop him from beating up reiner, tears also pooling in your eyes. after he stalked off, you walked silently after him, pulling him into a tight hug. you both cried, leaning against a tree, holding each other until you fell asleep.
moving awaaaay from the sad stuff, jean loves spending money on you. he goes into town? buys you food from the market he knows you love.
his favorite things to buy you are those little fruit pastries from a bakery. he loves buying them because he also gets to eat them, and the flavor just reminds him of being with you since you were the one who introduced him to them.
definitely hard to sneak them around sasha, but you two manage.
whenever you guys have a day off, he’s so excited to go on walks with you outside the walls now that they’re free of titans. of course you still gear up and bring horses just so you two don’t run into any bad situations, but he loves spending his days off with you.
give jean love, okay? he deserves it after all the shit that’s happened to you all on paradis. hug him a ton. kiss him a ton. just make the boy happy. (ෆ˙ᵕ˙ෆ)♡
#jean kirschtein x reader#jean x reader#attack on titan fanfiction#jean kirschstein#jean kirschtein headcanons#aot headcanons#attack on titan headcanons#aot#snk#snk x reader#jean kirstein#jean kirstein x reader
709 notes
·
View notes
Note
A - Z 🤍🤍
I’m assuming this means all the asks! So buckle up LOL. And thank you for taking an interest in lil ole me.
A: How did you come up with the title to [insert fic]?
Since you didn’t specify which title, I’m just going to talk about how I come up with titles in general. Normally, they happen one of two ways. Either I will come up with a title I think sounds cool out of the blue and then base a fic of its vibes, or I will write a fic to completion before deciding on a title. I like to use something that one of the characters say in this situation. It feels very full circle to me, if you will.
B: Any of your stories inspired by personal experience?
Unfortunately, my life is nowhere near as cool as the characters’ lives I write about. So no, I can’t say that my stories are based off personal experience. Unless you count me naming side characters my middle name every so often to indulge myself oops.
C: What member do you identify with most?
I guess by member it means character? And to be honest, I’m not really sure. I relate a lot to Spencer Reid I suppose, because I have never been popular and have always been a target for whatever shit life throws at me. I also like to think I’m kinda intelligent? Although if you look at my grade in my stats class right now, idk what to tell you-
D: Is there a song or a playlist to associate with [insert fic]?
Since there was no specific fic asked about, I can’t really answer this one! But to be honest, I don’t think there are any fics that I have written that I associated with songs.
E: If you wrote a sequel to [insert fic], what would it be about?
The first one that came to mind is Guest Speaker. If I wrote a part three for that, it would probably be fluffy domestic cute stuff with Spencer.
F: Share a snippet from one of your favorite dialogue scenes you’ve written and explain why you’re proud of it.
“I don’t even know what it was…it happened so fast. Did you kill it, Geralt?” Jaskier asked in a huff.
Geralt crossed his arms, and shook his head.
“I figured I should make sure you didn’t die first, bard.”
Jaskier nodded, a simple “Ah,” leaving his lips.
“Well, no matter. You can fix me right?”
He sounded like he was poking fun at the situation, but I could hear the fear in his words. I decided to try and make him smile before I did this next part. It would be painful.
“Anything for Geralt of Rivia and his emotional support bard.”
(This was just really funny to me for some reason, and I feel like I did a good job with their characterizations! And then Y/N comes back with the emotional support bard comment and it’s something I would say in real life. From this fic.)
G: Do you write your story from start to finish, or do you write the scenes out of order?
It depends on my mood! Sometimes if I’m frustrated with a story or a scene, I’ll write them out of order based on what type of thing I feel like writing. But I would say 75% of the time I write my fics in order.
H: How would you describe your style?
To be honest, I have no idea. Do I even have a style? I just write stuff and hope that people read it and like it.
I: Do you have a guilty pleasure in fic (reading or writing)?
Happy endings pfft. So cliche, but like- they make me happy. Unless I am feeling particularly angsty that day and want to make an ending a complete train wreck >:)
J: Write or describe an alternative ending to [insert fic].
In this fic...I would let reader live LMAO. But like- I was feeling angsty that day okay-
K: What’s the angstiest idea you’ve ever come up with?
Reader dying at the end of the fic LMAO, in the fic linked in the previous one above this one.
L: How many times do you usually revise your fic/chapter before posting?
Uhh 😬 Maybe once? If that 😅 I’m usually so excited to post that I just kinda go ahead and click post and hope for the best. I rely on spell check and grammar check a lot 💀And I just hope my story flows well.
M: Got any premises on the back burner that you’d care to share?
I don’t think so! I keep my to do list public so everyone can see what fics I have planned. The only two I don’t have on there are the ones for the upcoming fic swap on @imagining-in-the-margins ‘s discord! But that’s cuz they’re secret :)
N: Is there a fic you wish someone else would write (or finish) for you?
I wish that I would finish the 85486824 WIPS I have, does that count? And that I would write down all the ideas I have in my head that I haven’t even given words yet.
O: How do you begin a story–with the plot, or the characters?
Ooh this is a tough one. I’m not really sure how to answer it actually. There have been fics that I come up with a general idea for a plot for first, and then others I will decide what characters I wanna write for before I have any clue as to what the plot might be.
P: Are you what George R. R. Martin would call an “architect” or a “gardener”? (How much do you plan in advance, versus letting the story unfold as you go?)
Oh I am 100% the type of writer to let the story unfold as I go. I have outlined two, maybe three of my fics? And then I didn’t even follow through with them because I had more ideas come to me as I was writing.
Q: How do you feel about collaborations?
I would literally LOVE to collab with someone!
R: Are there any writers (fanfic or otherwise) you consider an influence?
There are a ton, and I am so sorry if I missed any! @imagining-in-the-margins @randomfandomimagine @reidetic @lexieshuntingsstuff @writing-in-april @reidgraygubler @zhuzhubii @dreatine @andiebeaword @dontkissthewriter @spencers-dria @sunlight-moonrise @personofsinterest @ontheoddoccasioniwritestuff @reidlusts @itslatinamagia
S: Any fandom tropes you can’t resist?
Oh boy! 😅 There was only one bed, mutual pining, manic pixie dream girl, kissed to keep quiet, just to name a few!
T: Any fandom tropes you can’t stand?
Not that I can think of!
U: Share three of your favorite fic writers and why you like them so much.
But I have way more than three :’( @imagining-in-the-margins is definitely the first one off the top of my head. Last year I was in a really bad spot, and she invited me to her Discord, and it helped me get back into writing. Plus I made some life long friends in the server. @writing-in-april I love her sm because she is always around when I need her, and it’s nice to have a friend that thinks fairly similarly to me. @lexieshuntingsstuff and @reidgraygubler go hand in hand! They are the best sprinting buddies a girl could ask for.
V: If you could write the sequel (or prequel) to any fic out there not written by yourself, which would you choose?
Ooh this is a tough one. I can’t think of any off the top of my head! Lame answer, I know 😅
W: Do you like more general prompts, or more specific ones?
Definitely more specific ones lol. It makes it a lot easier on me.
X: A character you enjoy making suffer.
Reader >:))
Y: A character you want to protect.
SPENCER REID AND JASKIER OKAY THEY DESERVE THE WORLD
Z: Major character death–do you ever write/read it? Is there a character whose death you can’t tolerate?
Again- Spencer and Jaskier. I will not TOLERATE THEIR ERASURE !!
11 notes
·
View notes
Text
I tagged a bunch of folks in on my last WIP post, and I don’t want to harass anyone two days in a row, but seriously, and I know I say it every time, because I really do mean it...WHOEVER WANTS TO THROW SOMETHING TO THE VOID TODAY (or any day...) SHOULD DO SO AND TAG ME AND I WILL LAUGH AND/OR CRY AND/OR BLUSH IN EMBARRASSMENT WITH YOU!
Seeing all this excellent fenders content showing up on my dash recently (IDK what I did to make this happen, but well done, tumblrverse) put me in a MOOD to go back and find some glowey smut from the discard pile...which then apparently turned into fluffy angst (or angsty fluff?) and hand-holding (if you squint...it’s there at the end, I swear).
This one doesn’t really fit into any of my current WIP world states (I mean, I definitely straight up stole some of this from my earlier self for later fenhanders relationship dynamics), and it’s from back when I was clearly still getting to know these characters (still am, tbh), so we’ll go ahead and yeet it into the Void this week, where it belongs:
(Under a cut, cuz it’s 1900+ words long, a whole ficlet, I guess, and there are mentions of the amazing sex these two apparently just had...before Anders had to go and make it awkward...)
“You -- Fenris…” Anders gasps, when Fenris finally pulls away from the kiss long enough to give him a chance to breathe. “I haven’t had sex like that since…”
Fenris’ eyebrows furrow together and he abruptly lets go of him. The last thing he wants is to be compared to any of his past lovers.
“Well, since Hawke and Isabela paid for that night for me at the Blooming Rose for my birthday a few years ago!”
Judging by his frown, this is definitely not the kind of thing Fenris was looking to hear from him.
Anders remembers now, through the idiotic haze of his post-coital bliss, that Fenris had been extra broody then, apparently perturbed that he, or, more specifically, Justice, would want to go through with what the two women had arranged for him, and also probably a little bit annoyed that he wouldn’t shut up about it afterwards. Granted, this was back before he would have ever admitted he had any feelings for the mage. And there is a distinct possibility that Anders had been trying to make him jealous, to provoke him, something Justice seems to want to remind him of now...
“I...remind you of a prostitute?” Fenris doesn’t sound angry or offended. He just sounds sad, a bit disappointed.
“No!” Anders shakes his head, trying to catch his breath and take it back. Not that that should be a bad thing, he wants to say. Fenris knows about his past work in Denerim. Knows how he feels about sex work in general. But he also understands why this association might be a problem for Fenris, sees the hurt there, and has no idea why he decided to bring it up now. “Not at all!”
How does he always manage to mess everything up with him so quickly? He used to be quite good at making charming conversation after sex, priding himself on making sure that everyone had said their piece, that needs and expectations had all been met. And his bedside manner as a healer is highly-regarded by everyone here in Kirkwall.
But Fenris isn’t exactly a client or his patient at the moment. And he supposes he hasn’t had much practice at this sort of thing for a very long time.
“Because it’s you. And no one is being paid…and shit!” He feels Justice trying to take control to save him from his clumsy rambling, but what does the spirit know about pillow talk?
Fenris has somehow already gotten dressed and now he’s reaching for his sword, propped up carefully by the moth-eaten curtain Anders deemed adequate for granting them privacy in the little cubbyhole he calls his “bedroom” carved into the back of his clinic.
“And Justice approves!” Anders declares, growing desperate in his attempts to try and salvage this. “Of this. Of us. Of you!”
Fenris turns back and shoots him the darkest look he’s given him yet through this exchange. “Do not use the spirit’s feelings to try and spare mine.”
Anders is trying. He truly is. But this isn’t fair, because Fenris has just fucked him senseless, and all he really wants is to curl up next to him and fall asleep. It would be good sleep, too. The kind he hasn’t had in...he can’t really remember, doesn’t really want to. And anyway, it’s looking less and less like that’s going to happen now.
“What does that even mean?” he asks, waving his arms frantically in the air.
“Ask him.”
“You know I can’t! Unless you want me to let him take over?” Anders offers, half-seriously at first, but then he gets a curious look in his eyes. “Is that what you want? Because I totally can...” His eyes begin to glow a little, and light begins to shine through cracks in his skin.
Without even acknowledging this, Fenris ducks under the curtain, and begins making his way through the clinic toward the exit.
“Wait!” Anders calls after him, banishing Justice back to his subconscience for now.
But Fenris marches on, with Anders trailing behind him all the way through Darktown. It’s a wonder that he just can’t seem to catch up. He’s nearly a foot taller than the elf, after all, though Anders is perpetually out of shape due to his own self-neglect, and Fenris is...decidedly not that. But as far as he can tell, Fenris isn’t using any of his lyrium-enhanced abilities to completely lose him, though he certainly could if he really wanted to. Which is actually a little bit encouraging.
As they enter Lowtown, he slows down just enough that Anders is able to reach out to him. There was a time when he would’ve feared the consequences of grabbing the standoffish elf’s arm to try and get his attention. Part of him still does, he supposes, but not enough to risk losing him like this again tonight without at least trying to make things right.
As soon as he touches him, Fenris whips his head around and glares at him. “I am going home.”
“Fine. You can do that. I just…” He wheezes, leaning forward, trying to catch his breath. He truly is out of shape. “Can I apologize?”
“For what?”
“For being an idiot?” he huffs.
“You have never apologized for that before.”
Anders is so relieved to see the little smirk on his face that he could kiss him. But he doesn’t. Because he’s already pressing his luck with him further than he’s ever dared to before and he’s determined not to fuck it all the way up if he can help it.
“For...for...all the wrong things I said in my...compromised state back there.”
“Compromised?”
“Fenris, please just work with me here?”
His eyes narrow on him, but he is silent for what feels like an eternity to Anders. He takes a deep breath, opens his mouth, and mutters, “You have nothing to apologize for.” He looks down into the empty space between them. “I should not have assumed this was anything more than sex.”
Anders shakes his head. “No. You’re wrong. It is! And you know that.”
“But you…”
“You do know that, right?”
“I...”
“For three years I’d like to think that we’ve been building something more than just...well, whatever that was the first time this almost happened.”
He is pacing now, and Fenris is watching his hands as they move wildly back and forth with him, mesmerizing physical manifestations of the mage’s fretting over him and his feelings. His body language says more to Fenris than whatever words he is muttering as he frantically stumbles through another unnecessary apology.
“Fenris!” he snaps, drawing his attention sharply away from his hands. “Do you even remember that? You knew I wanted you back then. But not if you were going to regret it. If it was just about the sex…”
“I suppose you have proven yourself to be more than just a depraved abomination,” he drawls, with more than just a hint of that irresistible smirk. Justice seems even more pleased than Anders to see it this time. “But I am still going home tonight. To a real bed.”
Anders grabs his arm again as he turns to leave, and Fenris’ markings flare up bright and blinding this time, the sudden burst of activated lyrium burnishing itself into all six of Anders’ senses.
He knows he’s pushed him too far. But if Anders is going to die tonight, after what has just happened between them, well...he supposes it’s better than if he had died yesterday. And Justice seems to agree, because he doesn’t even try to take control in order to save him.
Instead of ripping his heart out through his chest as Anders braces himself for the inevitable, Fenris reaches up, gathering the mage’s collar in his hands, and yanks him down into a kiss.
Maybe Anders is dead. He certainly can’t breathe, but it doesn’t seem to be bothering him at the moment. Between the lyrium and the kiss and his body still humming from all the dopamine he’s been inundated with in the past couple of hours...
Fenris releases him with a quiet sigh and just stares at him as his markings recede. He’s expecting something. Words, perhaps? But Anders hasn’t been doing very well with those tonight.
He swallows hard, and tries anyway, because he can feel Justice growing impatient with his inaction. “You were…” he hesitates.
“Going home.” Fenris nods.
“To the mansion?”
“Yes.”
“Fine…” Anders rocks back onto his heels trying not to look completely dejected. “Yeah, fine…okay.”
Fenris rolls his eyes and inhales sharply through his nose. “Would you like to join me?” he offers on the exhale.
Anders looks stunned for a moment as he simply stares back at him. Then slowly, a dopey grin begins to spread across his face. “Are you sure?” Anders beams down at him. He honestly can’t help but show every emotion clear as day across his entire countenance and to Fenris, it’s one of the most embarrassing and endearing things about him.
“Hmmm…” Fenris starts to turn away from him again before his own smile can reveal itself. He certainly wouldn’t want to encourage this behavior.
“Okay!” Anders cries out, tightening the hand he’s forgotten is still wrapped around Fenris’ arm. When Fenris doesn’t even flinch, he thinks for sure he’s either dead or dreaming. “Okay...yes! Yes I would very much like to join you.”
Fenris shrugs him off without another word, and is already marching toward Hightown before the mage can say anything else to make him reconsider the invitation.
It’s not that he doesn’t trust him. Anders is terrible at hiding his intentions, his feelings, anything from him, really, and he supposes, after what he’s said to him tonight, that this is no accident. He trusts Fenris, as well, foolish as it seems for either of them.
But Fenris knows that once this happens, once Anders embeds himself into his home -- which, up to this point, hasn’t felt much like a home at all, and that has been on purpose, too -- more than all the tension between them the past three years, more than the half-drunken moments stolen from each other in dark corners of the Hanged Man, or in the alley behind it, or in the back of the clinic, where he could still tell himself it was just a phase or meaningless beyond the relief of pent-up frustration it afforded both of them, there can be no turning back. No more pretending he isn’t completely smitten with the ridiculous mage once he’s taken him into his own bed and let down his guard enough to actually just...sleep with him.
At some point, he reaches behind him with a small huff, a puff of gently glowing white in the unseasonal coolness of the night betraying his feelings. He grabs Anders’ hand, pulling him along with him, and Anders feels like he’s practically floating on that little cloud the rest of the way to Hightown.
#dragon age#throwaway thursday#anders#fenris#fenders#anders is love-drunk#not like in a magical love potion/sex pollen way#just in the 'this was better than I thought it could be and I've been thinking about it for a very long time' kinda way#anyway...#long post
4 notes
·
View notes
Text
Today Is the last Friday of this month so the time has come to post February’s Fic Recs! Please Keep in mind that these have been culminated over a period of a few months (since I’m so far behind) so some links may no longer work thanks to dumblrs porn bots! I have no control of that so if a fic is no longer available PLEASE don’t blame me! These are mostly smut but there is a mix of some fluff and a smidge of angst. All warnings and summaries from the writer are provided!
1)Can’t Keep My Hands to Myself by @bamby0304
Link:HERE
Summary: Misha can’t help himself. It doesn’t matter that you could get caught at any moment, he just has to have you.
Pairing: Misha x Reader
Warnings: Explicit language. Smut. Dirty talk. Public sex. Fingering. Unprotected sex. Hair pulling
My Review: JFC y’all this one is a panty ruiner! I’ve just recently started reading Misha/Cas smut and boy did this one pull me in! Dom/sub, pinned against the wall, fear of getting caught.... hbdhgshsndmnfv
2)Magical by @supernatural-teamfreewillpage-d
Link:HERE
Summary: Dean’s Pov On A/His Girl Squirting
Pairing: Dean x Female
Warnings: 18+, Squirting, Language, Sexual Thoughts.
My Review: This Awesome smut is from Deans point of view and it makes for a magical scene!
3)The Bet by @maddiepants
Link:HERE
Summary: Y/N can totally go a week without sex. Can't she?
Pairing: Dean x Reader
Warnings: little bit a plot, lotta bit a porn, little bit of Dom Dean, that’s it i think
My Review: Good God my girl can write the smut! This is so fucking hot, I felt needy!! Jesus I need me some Dean!
4)The Mirror by @wheresthekillswitch
Link:HERE
Summary: The problem isn’t your reflection, it’s the mirror you’re using
Pairing: None
Warnings: self-doubt
My Review: This sweet little drabble speaks volumes for those of us who have insecurities (read: all of us!). Short, sweet, and to the point! Hold your head high.
5)Uncharted Territory by @fatestemptress
Link:HERE
Summary: Dean thought he had done it all. He was wrong.
Pairing: Dean x Reader
Warnings: Smutastic. Rimming. Anal play. Oral (Male Receiving) 18 PLUS ONLY!!
My Review: HOLY FUCKING SHIT. This is not something I ever considered erotic and Jesus christ on a cracker if this didn’t change my mind. THIS WAS FUCKING HOT AS FUCK! The smart ass Dean in the beginning, then the way you described his pleasure... fuck woman you paint a gorgeous fucking picture! Now I’m trying to put out the fire you just caused! Bitches READ IT!!
6)Tell Him How You Feel by @supernatural-jackles
Link:HERE
Summary: Another season of Supernatural has wrapped. You are headed to the wrap party with your two best friends. One being your ex, and the other being yours and your ex’s best friend; the guy you have fallen for over the course of a few months.
Pairing: Jensen x Reader, past Jared x Reader
Warnings: Angst, Feels, Fluff, Sweet Smut, Minor Talk of Insecurities.
My Review: This friends to lovers story was incredible! The backstory and how the reader was written in to the lives of Jared and Jensen was perfect! Romantic, sensual, and just so warm and fuzzy! Give it a read, it fulfills your fantasy 😉
7)Being Kept by TheShygirl on AO3
Link:HERE
Summary: Reader is at an out-of-town hotel for a work meeting when a big storm hits. A power outage from the storm leaves her trapped in an elevator with two extremely attractive men who decide to make the most out of a bad situation. From there, her life gets turned upside down as she tries to balance her newfound relationship with work and an intense interest from another man.
Pairing: Please see link
Warnings: Please see link
My Review: This series was recommended to me by several friends! And I’ll be honest, based in the tags and warnings, I would have never read it. But I asked my friends about my concerns and they reassured me. So I trusted them and dove into the story, and HOLY FUCK am I glad that I did! Two things you should know about me, 1) I don’t typically read RPF and 2) I have never read M/M, F/F. And before you jump to conclusions NO I’m not homophobic, I’m straight and read reader insert so M/F is what I gravitate to. WELL this fic changed both of those things with multiple partners/pairings! It was sexy, erotic, romantic, angsty, and fluffy! It left me happy, ecstatic, sad, furious, upset, betrayed, sickened...literally any emotion you can have was portrayed in this fic and I felt every single one! Folks this story is so good that it felt REAL, like BTS this scenario is actually happening in real life. It’s 73 chapters, but trust me it’s worth it and in the end you will be begging for more!!
8)Thunder Rolls by @amanda-teaches
Link:HERE
Summary: When your fear of thunderstorms is triggered, Dean decides to distract you the best way he can- with some good, old-fashioned, mind-blowing sex.
Pairing: Dean x Reader
Warnings: SMUT (unprotected penetrative sex), swearing; 18+ only
My Review: This was intensely passionate! The sex is hot but the love behind it really makes it great! The authors use of super descriptive descriptions of your pleasure will have you clenching your thighs!
9)Lingering Scents by @kittenofdoomage
Link:HERE
Summary: Dean’s always tried to resist the pull. How long until he can’t anymore?
Pairing: Alpha!Dean x Omega!Reader
Warnings: jealousy, angst, scenting, A/B/O, rough sex, implied breeding, marking, mentions of sort-of cheating.
My Review: whew! If your in to A/B/O fics this one is hot! Dean learns that he can’t fight fate and your more than willing to go along!
10)Cupid Can Shove his arrow right up his... by @bamby0304
Link:HERE
Summary: Valentine’s day sucks when you’ve got no one to send you flowers or serenade you with sweet song. You’re in a mood, stomping around the overcrowded bunker, not caring if you kill the buzz of the couples around you. Luckily for them, however, Sam is quick to distract you.
Pairing: Sam x Reader
Warnings: Explicit language. Little bit of Valentine’s day hate. Smut. Dirty talk. Thigh riding. Fingering. Praise kink. Hair pulling. Panty kink. Biting. Unprotected sex.
My Review: Holy Fucking shit I LOVED THIS! The attitude, the sass, the fucking innuendos... THE FUCKING! Jesus Christ on a crumbled cracker, This one killed. Go beg Amber for MORE of this! And make sure you say PLEASE! We need to see ALL those scenarios played out... Read this one in privacy ladies and have a helper handy 😏😉
11)Only One Woman I Trust by @georgialouisea
Link:HERE
Summary: None
Pairing: Dean x Reader, Sophie, Marg.
Warnings: Fluff, Swearing
My Review:This is just absolutely precious! You think you know what’s going on but there’s a surprise! This one will rot your teeth ❤️
12)Edge of Glory by @sculptorofbeginnings
Link:HERE
Summary: A supply run with Dean and Castiel takes an interesting turn.
Pairing: Dean x Reader, Castiel
Warnings: This is just Smut. Gratuitous, Endverse, smut. Implied established relationship and previously agreed upon situations.
My Review: Well damn. Shaila gets you revved up right off the bat with an amazing gif! Then sweet fucking sin it gets hotter from there! Ladies save this one for some alone time.... it’s definitely a panty ruiner.
13)Inked Up by @evansrogerskitten
Link:HERE
Summary: Dean most definitely, not at all, really doesn’t, have a crush.
Pairing: Dean x tattooed!Reader
Warnings: Fluff. Cursing a lot cuz it’s Dean. 18+ because you must be an adult to be on my blog
My Review: Ever want to know what goes on inside Dean’s head when he sees a hot girl? This fic is super hilarious and totally fluffy! I love Dean’s internal struggle to keep himself in check 😂 this one is fun!
14)Match Made on Crushbook by @carryonmywaywardwriters-deactiv
Link:HERE
Summary: The douchebags of online dating...
Pairing: Dean x Reader
Warnings: Online Dating struggles (made from actual chats I’ve gotten...cringe with me). Mutual masturbation. Some dirty talk. A bit of praise!kink. I believe that is all during this part.
My Review: As a girl with a serious praise!kink this one got me all hot a bothered! And as a single female trying to find a relationship... this fic is totally relatable!
15)Good Morning Beautiful by @ladywinchester1967
Link:HERE
Summary: Good Morning Indeed.
Pairing: Dean x Reader
Warnings: Oral sex (female receiving), fluff, smut, Dean being a sweetheart. All porn, zero plot.
My Review: Holy fuck this is so.... yes, all the yes! I want this, I NEED this!! God it’s just so fluffy and passionate. LOVE IT
16)Reunited by @saxxxology
Link:HERE
Summary: Sam’s locked in a government prison during the birth of his first child. Reuniting him with his family is the best thing that could have ever happened to him
Pairing: Alpha!Sam x Omega!Reader
Warnings: angst, mentions of killing, Alpha/Omega parenting instincts, non-graphic labor, fluff, lots of happy tears
My Review: OMG this is somewhat heart shattering, but Oh so fluffy! You start off wanting to cry but don’t worry, those will turn to happy tears :)
17)Dangerous Dance by @bamby0304
Link:HERE
Summary: When you first saw him, you knew he wasn’t like any other man that walked through the doors. There was a gleam in his eyes that screamed mischief. A gleam you would come to crave just as much as he craved you, if not more. When you first saw him, you had no idea what you were in for.
Pairing: Soulless!Sam x exotic-dancer!Reader
Warnings: Explicit language. Angst. Fluff. Pole dancing. Sexy dancing. Smut. Dom!soulless!Sam. Fingering. Masturbation. Voyeurism. Dry humping. Dirty talk. Unprotected sex. Bondage. Breath play. Squirting. Other smut related warnings that I just can’t think of right now.
My Review: Folks grab a fire extinguisher because this series is HOT! 14 chapters of deliciously smutty soulless Sam! What more could you ask for? Amber hits a lot of kinks in this series so you are likely to find something you like or discover a kink you didn’t know you had!!
18)Discipline by @squirrel-moose-winchester
Link:HERE
Summary: After flirting with a suspect to gain information against Sam’s orders, she must suffer the consequences.
Pairing: Dom!Sam x Reader
Warnings: Smut (but not really), Spanking (of a slightly different kind), Implied sex, Rough!Sam
My Review: To steal a line from one of our favorite memes “Mark me down as scared and horny!” Whew! This was unexpectedly hot and a total surprise! Note to self, do not make Sam angry.... or ya know DO!
19)Worthless by @maddiepants
Link:HERE
Summary: It's hard to fight the demons, when they're inside your head.
Characters: Reader, Dean, and Sam
Warnings: thoughts of suicide, talk of possible self harm, self hatred, Dean being a helpful, loving bean, Angst.
My Review: This one is angsty but wow it’s also very poetic! I know many of us struggle with this very scenario and Erica has written it beautifully.
20)Wrecked by @thoughtslikeaminefield
Link:HERE
Summary: After the show, alone in a dark corridor, he shows you exactly what that song means.
Pairing: Jensen x Reader
Warnings: Kissing, Vaginal Fingering, Clothed Sex, Wall Sex, Slight Chain Metal Kink, lip biting, Jensen Ackles in that fucking CBGB t-shirt and hat and the wallet chain WTF dude, Let’s pretend he’s single, Like a Wrecking Ball, you know why, Smut, Shameless Smut, Consent is Sexy, NSFW
My Review: JFC if this isn’t every Jensen girls fantasy! This one just ruined me! Wall sex, hand over your mouth, soft nips and kisses *shudders* give it a read!
Taglist: @idreamofplaid @dean-winchesters-bacon @maddiepants @pisces-cutie @covered-byroses @currentlyfangirling99 @spnmightkillme @spnfamily-alwayskeepfighting @team-free-will-you-idjits-67 @xxhalfbloodprincessxx @supernaturalsammy01 @sammyimpala-67 @lunarboycas @ladywinchester1967 @sweetiepie-dean @fangirl-forevers-world @thoughtslikeaminefield @supernatural-teamfreewillpage @ruthiesconnells @bobasheebaby @evansrogerskitten @missjenniferb @sculptorofbeginnings @kbl1313 @spnskinnyballs @treat-winchesterswith-kindness @justcallmeasmodeus @ain-t-bovvered @purpleskiesandcherrypies @curly-haired-disaster @getnaildbyme @thoughtslikeaminefield @gripmetight-raisemefromperdition
44 notes
·
View notes
Text
LVLSRVRYHI-054: Hunni'd Jaws
Introductions first: for anyone who doesn't know, who are you / where are you from?
Yo yo, thanks for having me - I’m Hunni’d Jaws. I'm a solar eclipse personified. I moisturize. Facts: Coconut oil is not what it’s cracked up to be, if you want the hook-up on emollients DM me...on some off the record ish. My latest conspiracy is that I'm immortal.
From New York, exiled in Berlin, I mean “based”. How does "On exile" sound? Like I’m on chic sabbatical for being a leftist multi-national expatriate. Although, ya gotta strive for "arbitrarily-detained" these days, for the social media credentials.
What music did you grow up listening to?
I grew up whittling didgeridoos. On the real, there’s a rogue didgeridoo in the house I grew up in. I have no clue how it got there. No one knows how to really “play” it, we’ve all tried. If my folks got it at a flea market, I’ll be a livid that my parents are just hoarders, and that Carlo Santana’s 3rd cousin didn’t loan it to us.
I’m so thankful for access to radio like Hot 97 and NYC. Nineties pop music was an animal. Dance-pop, grunge, dancehall, alt-rock, RnB, hip hop, trip-hop, the OG list goes on. I’m nostalgic for the pop hits, from Ace of Bass to No Doubt.
Mix cds were essential living. My street punk older sister got me into punk music and concert-going, starting at places like the Chance in Poughkeepsie. Thusly train-ing to NYC was compulsory. SO former self getting signatures on my cons. I grew up technically too far to be a bridge-and-tunnel though. “Bridge-and-tunnel" is slang for someone who takes one of the bridges and/or tunnels to get to NYC by car. Bridge-and-tunnels get on the Metro-north around White Plains with vodka Coolatas and clog up the Midtown club scene.
My folks played jazz, on special holidays merengue, 60s funk, reggae some 80s pop - cuz they’re into that - oh and a lot radio monotonous news coverage, tonally so nauseating that they smell like plastic factory fumes. Afro-caribbean & latin music were solace, since I’m half dominican. My uncle was more current, and played lots of new wave, punk, or like fat boy slim and beastie boys for us. We ransacked his computer once when we finally got cd burner software.
I also was heavily into indie rock, post-punk and random hip hop or the genre one-offs, like Hold You Down by the Alchemist, I found. Finding music was everything. I wrote about UK experimental & indie music for my HS newspaper - no one cared. My younger sister got me into A Tribe, Madvillian and J Dilla. Shout out to Nora for keeping me updated on hip hop mixtapes throughout the 2000s. And in college I veered towards indie music and electronic.
I'm cutting myself off, we should pick up the conversation here for the next interview. We can highlight more cringe-worthy pleasures that did not age well and my descent into grime and club, and how I’m still an angsty tropical riotgrrl haha.
One of my earliest musical memories was going to this wedding in 1997 and dancing to radio garage house tracks - what we called techno. Recently, I had a dance floor epiphany at Monarch Club in Berlin. Soda Plains played a garage track I hadn’t heard since that era, maybe that occasion. I made a note of the lyrics, found it later, and binged on it for like a week. This is my mentality.
My first introduction to you as a DJ came via Call Dibs, the show you run with Dis Fig on Berlin Community Radio, so I wanted to get an idea as to how the show first came about and what the motivations were behind starting it together. How did the two of you start to put things together?
Yeah before Call Dibs, before deejaying, I was a head in NYC. Fel - Dis Fig - and I met then, kicking it many dawns.
Fast forward, in Berlin we saw a vacancy for our musical focus on BCR - whose programming we admired and were acquainted with. It fell into place. We decided to do this plan b, instead of becoming tech-house legends.
Going through the show's archive is like reading a who's who of upcoming djs over the past few years and it's pretty impressive how on top of it the two of you have been. How do you decide on which guests to reach out to? Do you have any dream picks?
Thanks! We follow music, convene on that, take turns hosting monthly, and plan logistical. There's been several artists, I heard one track of theirs and decided to ask them. I was lucky they were down. It's insanely cut-throat. There's usually a rose award ceremony and sacrifice.
No "dream picks", I’d like to work with so many people, especially unique gem artists. I'm interested in new, small, unique voices and showcasing challenging fun sounds.. The cult of celebrity dominates booking, the scene and the industry. At the same time, we don't obscurity hunt. The process is organic, why dilute it?
From what I can gather (correct me if I've got this backwards), you moved from New York to Berlin not too long before the BCR show first started. Do the two cities mean different things for you musically? Did anything change for you in that vein after making the move?
Yeah definitely! I lived in NYC for a couple summers during school, then moved to Brooklyn after college for 3ish years. New York is it’s mix of cultures and hustle. There are so many micro-communities doing amazing things. It is a pace, hip-hop, outspoken, loud - the majority of new dembow in my mix, I heard blaring out of cars, at restaurants, and in cabs while visiting over in early June. Even just 2 years ago, Bushwick was not what it is now, or Crown Heights even. I grew up in the music communities in NY through Jelly NYC, Tribes, bass warehouse parties like Reconstrvct and DIY venues like 285 Kent, and lived with the Teklife extension. Ballroom, dancehall, jersey club, and footwork were foundational w/ parties like Ghettogothik, Lit City, S!ck Magic, Mixpak, among others. With all this stacked against a city, there's so much synchronicity, like Dubbel Dutch playing an arcade entirely word of mouth, or mythic rooftop parties w/ lineups of whoever is in town not playing officially in the city. Or heads from around the country, turn out to see acts on a Monday night in Meatpacking district. It’s a constant struggle and everything is bought out. I have a deep bond there, the music community has a different appreciation and gratefulness for each other. People dance. I’m idealizing hxc. It all took bites, I got bored, and was looking to contribute.
I shifted gears, and moved to Berlin, to party less. Hahah. Techno goth, crust punk aura, the gay club scene, and deejaying/producer culture are indisputably mainstream. The leftfield club scene is compact w/ Janus, PAN, Trade, Creamcake, Boo Hoo, among others. There’s a core DJ and music producer community here that inspires me, albeit, a catch-22, is insular. There’s more funding, clubs are seen as institutions. It’s still Germany. It’s much more modest, introverted, and chill. The sound is usually spot on. Flights are cheap. It’s more white, whiter than the Midwest.
If you can sort housing, it’s a refuge for creativity because of work/life balance.
You're also involved with a few programs based around teaching dj skills to women and those within the lgbtq+ spectrum in No Shade and Intersessions. What interested you about these programs? What was it like for you personally when you first learnt to DJ? Was there anything similar out there at the time?
Who wants a world w/ the same people, the same cliques, in control throwing the same parties, of similar perspectives, w/ the same mega brands curating, playing the same music? Sign me up if I'm a mega-brand.
I didn’t choose to be half black, a woman, or femme, so I def take advantage of the opportunities given to me. And I'm aware I'm somewhat priveleged. I have a lot of friends who also want to organize and pass the torch. My core ethics are merging human rights, creativity, and access empowerment. I was also involved in the Co-Op compilation w/ Ziur, galvanized to counter the tension and rise of global alt-right movements.
When I first learned to DJ, it was a necessity to socializing. And when I got more serious about it, I had to teach myself. Getting comfortable at the club and tech-literacy was another blind-fold. I’ve had to dj with equipment I've never used before - wish these moments were filmed cuz I went too hard on myself. There were some people to help me but not really. I also had several feminist social groups to help with the visibility of women in NYC, our goals were more about solidarity and the safety of women at parties.
I co-founded No Shade alongside Linnea and Caramel Mafia in association with Acud Macht. The DJ tutoring program aspect gives the participants more security and time with industry standard equipment. They can ask questions, and they are learning from women and non-binary folk. Blasphemy!
Links between music and therapy come up a lot on your social feeds and, though it's not really something I've put a lot of thought into understanding, I often find myself relying on music to clear my mood or help me move past something that's frustrating or aggravating me. Do those ideas ever inform the sets you put together or the music you listen to?
That’s sick that you found a personal correlation. Music as therapy vs. music therapy vs. sound therapy vs. vibration therapy vs. however we define music and therapy has an abundance of operational levels. On your experiential level, it’s great for emotional awareness, resonance, letting out stress, etc.
It can be deeply triggering yet cathartic too. It’s tied very close to memory. People with degenerative neurological diseases can get pieces of their identity and abilities back when listening to their old records, or happiness. In other mysteries, if you suffer a major head injury you can miraculously become a musically-creative, perfect-pitch savant. Still so much is unknown in the regard to cognitive neuroscience, music and healthcare. This is Your Brain on Music by Daniel J. Levitin and Musciophilia by Oliver Sacks expand on this.
The club is an undeniable conduit, escape. A good sound bath from a sound system will reset you. Cymatically, it manifests your physical matter. Certain chord progressions and frequencies will awaken certain feelings. Certain rhythms make you rotate your hip joints, certain vibrations catapult you to an astral plane, ASMR and whiteness soothes and entrances. I’m rambling. It’s personal, it’s human, it’s spooky, it's cyborg. There’s loads of sound phenomena to explore.
The tradition of it in the psych world is very “koombayah”, which led me away from the narrow conventional sense of it. However, there are however strides towards incorporating rap into the psychotherapy application. The history of oration down to modern rap is rooted in the "music game over the streets" to narrate the struggle. Poets from West Africa brought oration traditions over to communicate their highest spiritual being. The command of it is called Nommos. As a practice it's so very suitable for the clinical experience. Therapeutic Uses of Rap & Hip Hop by Susan Hadley discusses this, maybe overintellectualizes it, but it’s an important platitude to introduce formally to the white-coat community. I may go back to school for it, so I can dispute and defend the way. I wish I had proper exposure to composition as a kid. I was more interested in learning tabs so I could steeze on covers.
There’s truth deeper and universal, beyond niche music that privileged perspectives get to admire, be bewildered by and entertain with. It's orthodox. It seems the people involved don't consider how esoteric and self-centered this chokehold of participation is, like subjective tunnel-vision ; music culture is full of circumstance, value judgements, media infrastructure, markets, and industry. Who has access? What is contingent? and Why? What does this all mean in 5-10 years?
You seem to take a playful, lighthearted, but also semi-theatrical approach towards your moniker and press shots (covering yourself in honey, planning to do the same but with bees), which is refreshing and in stark contrast to the ultra serious DJ look (black tee, dark background, lots of shadow, plsdon'tsmile). Was that something you consciously set out to achieve?
Wow, thanks for noticing! Deejaying is full of bad baaaad tropes. Shout out Kurupt FM for being as played out as possible. Satire, critiques, and creating new information are important to me but it's more unconscious and involuntary. Music gets all bent out on being serious, then plays into trends and lacks originality.
I treat creating under hunnid jaws as a full multi-medium, creative universe. My press shots were fun. They feel so old, they're from a past life at this point. The series are under themes of objectification, erotica, and sex culture paradigms mirroring a literal interpretation of my pseudonym. The general idea was around for 2 years before it came together with my homegirl Syd who's in Rotterdam now. The actual process felt like I was suffocating and stung my eyes, basically honey-board torture.
I'm sitting on a lot of weird ideas and bizarre influences. Just takes one or two sentences for an idea to be a good one. I'm excited to use them when I have more content and collaborators. I'd love to art direct for others. And to do more video. Or something extrasensory.
Did you set out with a particular idea for this mix? Where / how did you record it?
I recorded it in my room on my pioneer ddj-sb controller. No set intention but this mix is a missing cut from a film reel, like a glimpse into my flashback. Disorienting like a horror flick being played in reverse.
What do you have planned for the rest of 2017?
Conjuring up some gigs and beats. Ya tu sabes.
If you had to pick something for people to listen to immediately after this mix what would it be?
If you can hold out, listen to Call Dibs this Thursday 6-8pm CET.
2 notes
·
View notes
Note
I'm asking this out of curiosity, how can you just let go of a ship like captain swan? you were a hardcore captain swan shipper and you were part of their journey from the very beginning and now you barely care about them if at all. it's just I don't know i thought you were staying till the end & would even have a hard time saying goodbye to them after the show ends. sorry if this came off as rude I'm totally just curious just cuz you were so invested for years now you don't care anymore
Well, honestly, I have discussed this subject before, and tried to be straight about it, and I’m sure you didn’t mean to be rude and are genuinely curious. Still, though, it’s a bit discouraging?
I’m still here. I’m still active on tumblr, I still reblog CS gifs fairly regularly, and I know what’s going on in the show, and I’m looking forward to the wedding. I’ve made several long posts on my process of stepping back from the show and why that happened. It’s certainly not that I just “let go” overnight. It’s been going on for almost a year, and it has not in the least been easy for me. CS got me back into fandom after a long time away. I don’t need to prove my bona fides as a shipper to anyone; I’ve shipped them since 2012, been on tumblr for them and an incredibly active and prolific fandom member since 2013, written multiple novel-length fics and countless drabbles for them (and am still working on TDH, which is my second-longest project EVER behind The North Remembers), answered thousands of questions, written just as many specs and metas and spoiler and roundup posts, went to my first ever con (way out of my comfort zone!) to meet Colin, and still have many dear friends who have changed my life. I don’t ever regret any of the time I did spend on them. I have loved them for a long time and I still care. I just am engaging with it differently, and I have had to do that for several reasons.
As noted, I was super invested during season 5. SUPER. It got to the place where I was thinking about it almost every waking moment, even as I was trying to adjust to a new city and country and degree study and the ups and downs that came with that. My mood was totally dictated by spoilers or theories or how people were reacting to them or how I was going to have to hold things together during an angsty time with all the people I had to comfort/talk through the pain of the Dark Ones/Underworld arc. It took a lot out of me, to be honest. I couldn’t even enjoy the show quite the same way because I was so dependent on it all working out and the effect this had on my ability to deal with things. I’ve always been honest about my years and years of anxiety and depression and what I’ve had to do with that, and the show was something for me to focus on and to try to get me out of my head (again, during an otherwise stressful year). Honestly, that level of addiction/dependence isn’t healthy for anything, especially what is, at the end of the day, just a TV show. The s5 finale burned me the hell out after all that pain with pretty much nothing to show for it, and I struggled over the summer with the thought that I was finally having to withdraw from it in bits and pieces. I watched 6x01, but… nope. That pretty much put the lid on it that I wasn’t prepared to go back at the same level again, and probably wouldn’t be.
As noted, and as anyone who has read my fics can attest, I have no problem with angst. I love angst, even long-term and complex angst. I love serious and dark and morally challenging stories, they are some of my favorites. But as I have also said, I do have a problem when that angst results, to my view, in no measurable story progress and the endless repetition of long-played-out character arcs. I just watched CS struggle to be together for all of season 5. I don’t want to watch more of Emma Has Walls or Killian Keeps Secrets Because He’s Guilty or Oh Look, They’re Separated and Will Die. It’s just… not interesting to me. So I still love them as a ship, but I’ve almost completely disengaged from wanting or expecting canon to provide any kind of satisfying or well-thought-through fulfillment for them. I’ve written tons and tons of fics (and novels). I write all the time. I analyze things for a living. I am an English tutor and a history teacher. I’m a storyteller. I have spent a long time with these characters and coming up with and thinking through what I want to see for them. That doesn’t mean I’m Better ™ than the writers, but it also means that any effort I put in feels like way more than they are, and that’s not a fun or stimulating way to engage with a fandom.
I don’t do hate-watching, and I certainly am not about to rain on the parade of people who do still love it as much as ever (which as I have said many times, I am happy for them). So it’s just better to focus on things that I DO actively enjoy and which I find rewarding and engaging. This year has been incredibly tough for me since about last November and the Orange Nazi’s election (and before that, really). I don’t need to put my limited and valuable free time into things that are just going to drain me or make me annoyed more than I already am. Fandom, once again and though it sometimes can be anything but, is supposed to be fun. And I am trying to space out my interests and have several different places to turn to for inspiration, rather than putting all my eggs in one basket. As noted, it’s just not healthy, and I have to take care with that.
As also noted, I was truly happy about the CS engagement and I will watch their wedding and probably reblog a lot of gifs from it. But I can look at said gifs and enjoy their cute moments and feel as if I’m getting what I need to, rather than having to slog through all of season 6. And honestly, if OUAT is losing people like me – a super, SUPER dedicated fan with years of investment and high-level commitment and fandom participation and creation – it doesn’t take too much guesswork to see that it’s probably losing regular viewers like crazy as well, and that’s why the ratings have taken a nosedive. I know I’m not alone, because I know a lot of fellow fandom people who just can’t muster up the same level of investment, and we’ve all paid our dues. We don’t have to “prove” anything or get caught in the inevitable “Who’s a Real/Better Fan” drama that just makes the whole cycle even more draining. We’re just engaging how we choose to, over a fictional narrative that has meant a ton to us, but has also changed, and we have as well.
So yeah. I still care. I am still a fan. But I think it’s important to remember, as always, that fandom is a FICTIONAL space, and that the people who engage in it are real, with all the hangups and changes of interest and needs and triggers and emotional reasons that go along with that, and we only interact with each other on a very limited basis through tumblr, which is obviously not face to face and where we curate the content we want to post/focus/present. It’s not objective, and it’s fun and amazing and collaborative, but it can also provide a somewhat limited perspective of who people are, what they’re doing, and why they decide to move on from something. So yeah, that’s where I am.
:)
41 notes
·
View notes
Last Seen Blogs
ironicicon8485
Hmmmmmm
maigetheplatypus57
Maige
ademontro
.ADemontro.
michiganandback
michiganandback
