#daily dose of projecting onto reader (part 20) | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

mitoad · 1 month

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giggling ab this okay so

imagine gaz n reader, they've just started to date

and reader is trans (ftm) but gaz doesn't know that yet

but then after a few weeks of dating reader is taking their T in the bathroom/bedroom and had forgotten to lock the door & gaz walks in oh no,,

YEAH so!!! i hope that's enough to.. you know. yeah!!!! i 💗 ur fics sm.

(we need more ftm fics RIGHT NOW!!)

whoEVER ANON IS . I LOVE U . Thank u so so so so much 4 this request my fingers have been acting to write m or ftm content u have appealed to my deepest desires . myways this rq is super silly i love chilled out gay mf and nervous closeted trans mf dynamic so much.

Also posted on trans visibility day lets GOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!

the same (always changing); kyle 'gaz' garrick + trans male! reader (979 words)

notes: some implied and described internalised transphobia, mentions of transphobia, mentions of gender dysphoria, reader does not have top surgery yet, partial nudity on reader (non-sexual), little hurt/comfort type w/ fluff at the end !!

It wasn’t meant to be a secret. It really wasn't.

But here you are, cooped up in the cold premise of your shared bathroom, waiting for the gel to dry into your skin as you stare at your figure in the mirror, noticing the little changes with a strange sense of europhia. You wished you could run back to the arms of your boyfriend as you ramble about how good the hormones have been working, how you can see your outer shell peeling open to show the man who's been living in the inside, a feedback loop that had you seeing yourself in reflections instead of skin and hair and face that you'd barely recognised. Maybe his face would melt into that gorgeous smile, arms pulling you closer to him like he's seeping off the happiness he swears he sees seeping off your skin's pores. But it's the flip of a coin, a winning ticket in an uncertain lottery.

you're not so sure if Kyle would love the kind of person you were.

gender hadn't ever been a point of focus in your conversations, never something that had to be caught and pinned down with word or thought. he was a man, you were a man, and you loved each other. both of you did your best to keep it at that simplicity. but part of you, like the serpent to adam and eve, had always doubted whether kyle would look at you with the same eyes if you somehow ended up showing him your childhood photos or now-invalid passport, the face that was still soaked with dysphoria-ridden tears.

the gel is still sticking to your ribs when the door practically flies off its hinges slamming against concrete walls and gaping open your closed eyes with ugly sound. There's a groan of exasperation that should make you giggle, but only makes already tense muscles almost turn to stone. "honey, you done ? really need to take a fat shi-"

And then there's that silence both unsurprising but dreaded, how it felt to inhale smoke.

You hate the shock as his eyes run over your bare chest in realisation, feeling any words about to come out crawling back into your windpipe as he notices the thin layer of gel and the label of the bottle on the sink.

"love?" he calls, an endearing substitute replacing your name. you didn’t know if he'd call you that, even after this revelation. Or did he not know what else to call you now that this had been revealed ? "kyle," you echo.

please just look at me, kyle.

his eyes still look the same as how they look at you; stormclouds that accompany you on lonely and rainy nights, and your eyes can't help on focus on the pretty shade of grey instead of the battering of water droplets hitting against tin. Not once does it ever shift to malice or hatred- only worry, for you, maybe.

"do you want to talk about it right now ?" isn't the response that you expected. It's an gentle offer, and extended hand waiting for you to take or push away, more freeing than astute observations of your perceived identity or the bitter words hissed out when others had realised. You can only nod your head in response.

"im sorry," you say, and you don’t know how much (what you're) apologising for. Sorry for never telling you. Sorry for making a distance that could have been avoided. Sorry for being this without your permission, anyone else's permission.

but he's quick to hold you and the shame that you carry , not minding any of the gel residue on his shirt. "hey, no, it's okay," his voice is gentle, reaching out for your secluded self. "remember what I told you when we first started dating?" he puts a hand to your head, playing with your hair as he pulls you closer to him. "I love all of you, dove. Everything." he rests his chin onto your shoulder, murmuring the words into your ear. And you can't help but hug back, clinging to him like a lifeline. Your lifeline. "I love you too," you muse.

you both stay there for a minute before he pulls away with a complaint of some back pain from a recent mission, and you kiss his nose, allowing yourself to smile for the first time since he'd entered the room. "so.." you start, now perched on the rim of the bathtub. "you're ok with me being trans?"

you giggle when he deadpans at you, "love, I just hugged you for 5 full minutes after seeing you apply testosterone instead of taking a shit. I don’t really care if you're trans."

and after your testosterone dries and you put on your shirt, you both in bed, tangled up in each other's arms. ramblings about little stories or town gossip. professions of grandiose love guised under quiet murmurs. the hormones are still a little crusty on your skin, but they're doing the work that should have been done since birth.

The same, always changing.

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bountycancelled · 6 months

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LOST CAUSE

bada x reader (part 1)

MASTERLIST | NEXT

warnings: none really, it's just kinda sad

content: petnames (only one is used in reference to reader, but a few are mentioned) alcohol mentions (reader drinks away her feels) sad gays and bad gays, unedited becusse I'm lazy, a whole lotta projecting myself onto reader

being bada's best friend would be the death of you, you were calling it right now.

she wasn't a bad friend by any means, quite the opposite actually. from the late night talks that would last until the early mornings before you both passed out, the tiny, sentimental gifts she would randomly get for you without expecting anything in return, to the way she would hold you, god, she was perfect. you loved everything about her.

but, that was the problem, wasn't it? you loved her. and a part of you wants to blame her for making it so easy, falling for her, but you know that would be unfair. not only because she wasn't leading you on or anything, but also because she couldn't do any wrong in your eyes.

everytime your heart fluttered at one of her actions, it would sink just as quickly. she's doing this as a friend, you would always remind yourself. but your not so friendly reminders didn't stop you from hoping. for something more, that one day, miracously, bada would realise that she was in lo–

"what's got you so worried?" you were pulled out of your daily dose of dramatic reality checking by none other than bada. her head was in your lap, she stared up at you with a look that you could only describe as... content. comfortable. and so, so beautiful.

"huh?" you answered, having not heard her clearly, too busy being in your head instead of in the real world, where unfortunately, you belonged.

she raised her arm and pressed on the space between your eyebrows, a small pout on her face. "you're frowning. what's wrong, pretty?"

the nicknames. the fucking. nicknames.

pretty, gorgeous, baby, love, honey. it was things like that made you believe, even if just for a moment, that she knew that you liked her, loved her, and was just toying with you for enjoyment.

you'd feel guilty everytime you had that thought. she wouldn't. not to you, not to anyone, not ever.

"it's nothing, really. I'm just in a mood today." you shrugged, hoping that she would, for your sake, take your half-hearted explanation and leave it there.

she nodded, clearly unconvinced, but moved one nonetheless. "do you still wanna go to the club tonight? we can cancel and spend the night together instead." she offered, lifting her head off of your lap in favour of placing it on your shoulder, waiting for your answer.

"no, we can still go, we'll just come back here together. we've blown off our friends enough times, I'm starting to feel bad." you joked, and once again, the atmosphere was light and airy. with that settled, you both stood up, trying to find something to wear for the nights activities.

you walked into her closet, sprinkled with tops and skirts from your own, almost laughing at the absurdity of the situation. for someone who claimed that being around bada was painful, your personal stamp on her home sure made it hard to believe.

"how's this?" you said for what felt like the 29th time to bada (it was only the third) as you spun around for her, showing off one of your options for the night.

she sat at the edge of the bed, ready to go about 20 minutes before you, as she usually was. her head was tilted back, staring at the ceiling as she waited patiently for you to finally choose something to wear.

you tried not to stare at her neck, which she made easier for you by finally looking at you, tilting her head to the side as she inspected your outfit.

"I was gonna say its looks as good as the other two because you look amazing in anything and everything, but... I like this one. a lot."

the way she looked at you when she said that, with her bottom lip between her teeth, stayed with you as you walked to the club together, hand in hand. did she really have no idea how much she affected you? you weren't sure if you hoped that she didn't, or did.

but you weren't going to think of that tonight. you were going to drink, and dance, and hang out with your friends, and not let bada affect you. if only for just one night.

okay, maybe you had had one too many drinks by now, but you weren't drunk just yet. it was still the normal you, just with a few tweaks. a little less shame here, a little more confidence here, nothing too major.

you were half in minah's lap and half in tatters, singing obnoxiously, almost as loud as the song blasting from the speakers. you weren't even thinking of bada... wait, where the hell was bada?

you squinted your eyes as they darted across the dance floor, hopelessly trying to locate her in the dim lighting of the club. but you didn't have to look for long, because she was headed back to your table, a smile painted on her face.

you stood up, suprisingly not stumbling as you walked up to her, wrapping your arms around her shoulders. "where were you?" you shouted over the music, wearing a curious expression.

she bit her lip excitedly before speaking into your ear, sending involuntary shivers down your spine. damn you and your natural charm, bada.

"I met a girl." you didn't mean for your face to drop in the way that it did, but from the looks of it, bada didn't even notice. if she did, then she didn't mention it.

"she actually wants to come over to my place..." bada trailed off, sending you a pleading look, a certain lust-driven glee shining in her eyes.

"oh." you said flatly before you could stop yourself, moving your arms away from her and crossing them over your chest.

she quickly wrapped her arms around your middle, squeezing while pleading her case in an effort to soften the blow. it doesn't help, not one bit.

"I know we were supposed to have a binging marathon, but please baby? just this once? I'll make it up to you real good, you know I always do." 'because I always let you.' you wanted to add, but you bit your tongue, you weren't feining for a fight with bada right about now.

you sigh, your arms hanging limply by your sides. "okay. I'll just crash at lushers'." you fight the urge to gag as she squeals in excitement, at the prospect of spending the night with someone who isn't you.

she gave you a curious look, most likely sensing your jealousy apprehension, her arms still around you, feeling more suffocating than comforting at that moment.

"...are you sure?" no. I'm not, don't go with her.

you nodded furiously, removing her arms from your frame, and turning her around, pushing her toward the dance floor where she had left her pursuit for the night. "go, she'll think you're blowing her off if you keep talking to me."

"are you actually, super, one hundred percent certain that I can go with her?" she pushed you further, and you knew that she knew that you weren't really all that okay with it.

but what was the point? you could easily sway her into sticking to the original plan, but she would've spent the whole night daydreaming about what could've been with the mysterious girl at the club. you didn't want to deal with that. you were tired of feeling like a second choice.

you wanted her to choose you, because she wanted to choose you. not because you asked her to.

'no, I'm not sure. I don't want you to go with her. I want you to choose me for once. choose me.' you screamed in your own mind, but all that could be seen on the outside was you smiling the best you could at bada, nodding once more before walking back to where the rest of your group sat, downing the drink in front of you.

you didn't know if it was even yours, but it didn't matter to you right now.

minah noticed your sudden change in mood, holding your hand in hers in a silent attempt to comfort you. you squeezed it as means of expressing gratitude, you didn't wanna talk about it.

but, you didn't need to. she knew, and if the downright pitiful looks the rest of the group were throwing your way were anything to go by, it seemed that everyone else knew too.

you wanted to leave, so you left. lusher had no problem going home early with you, she could tell that you weren't in a good headspace. you left with lushers arms around you, half to make sure that you didn't stumble, and half to try to make you feel a little better.

you left with a bitter taste in your mouth, and not from the shitty drinks you were downing.

you left without saying goodbye to bada, which you never did. she waved when she saw you by the door, that big smile still evident even in the dark lighting.

you didn't wave back.

a/n: this wasn't planned, and I wrote it in a day, but I hope you guys like it. also, doing a bada series and and a bada smau at the same time isn't my brightest idea, but fuck it, we ball.

#smau #bada lee #bada lee x oc #bada lee x reader #bada x reader #masterlist #bada lee fanfiction #bada #bada lee fluff #bada lee fanfic #bada lee smut #bada lee x y/n #bada smut

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daydreamindollie · 4 years

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+idea/teaser ⏤ bts ot7 | seven cursed princes

⇢ hi there :3

⇢ sooo...i have another idea based on yet another manga that I am currently obsessed with

⇢ I recommend you all to check it out, it’s currently on a hiatus for season 2 but after only reading season 1, I’ve been struck with inspiration!

⇢ the manga is called ‘Sincerely: I Became a Duke’s Maid’ by Jooara/Juara

⇢ give it a read, you won’t regret it!

⇢ ANYWAYYYYY!

⇢ lemme give you all a rundown on what I have in mind for my fanfic based on this amazing piece of art!

⇢ be warned, there will be spoilers/hints on the general plot of the manga so if you would like to read the first 45 chapters aka season 1 of the manga first then feel free!

⇢ this 👏🏼 is 👏🏼 going 👏🏼 to 👏🏼 be 👏🏼 a 👏🏼 reincarnation au 👏🏼 people! 👏🏼 - something i never thought i’d play around with in this lifetime but here i am, inspired and ready to write an entire multichapter fic on this

⇢ 👏🏼 LETS 👏🏼 GET 👏🏼 IT!

⇢ to start with, reader is reading a novel about BTS ⏤ all of whom were cursed and, therefore, ridiculed by society despite being a part of the royal bloodline, in fact, they were going to be the crown prince of their kingdom

⇢ note: all of them come from different kingdoms (all of which i do not yet know the names of) that are under massive tension around each other - their relationship with each other isn’t very good, lets just keep it at that, no trust, no solid alliences, no nothing.

⇢ their (bts’s) curse was the only thing that brought the kingdom’s leaders/kings and queens together for only a breif moment

⇢ The princes were born at different times and since the curse was the same for all of them, they were all forced to live in the same secluded mansion deep in the woods, owned by some insignigicant and greedy count/baron (clearly i need to research these terms of heirarchy so ignore me for now)

⇢ after each new prince of a different kingdom was born with the same curse, they were immediately sent away to live in the same unkempt mansion, however, most of them never knew of each other’s existence as no grand welcoming ceremony/party was hosted for their arrival

⇢ lemme give you some details of the curse, this is going to be fairly similar to how the curse affects the host in the manga i read so be warned :

⇢ the curse makes the princes look younger in terms of their body size as they can’t stomach any food ⏤ this stunts their growth and makes them look half their age so jinnie who would be 20 years old at first meeting actually looks like a 10 year old instead

⇢ they have constant bags under their eyes, unhealthy pale skin bc they can bearly walk outside for their daily dose of vitamin D

⇢ one hald of their skin is slowly rotting off corresponding to the side that has the curse marks circling their wrist, kinda like a singular hand cuff

⇢ they are always weak, dizzy and just really really unhealthy, as a result, they can’t ever bring themselves to look in the mirror from how hideous they look ⏤ their appearnce makes the maids and servants vomit

⇢ their eyes are dull and faded in colour because of the lack of nutrients and their hair is spindly thin too

⇢ sometimes, they can’t even drink water and puke it up despite how incredibly thirsty they are

⇢ because they were ostrasised to such an extent, they never knew love or were showed any affection when growing up ⏤ this seemed to make the effect of their curse worse

⇢ not only that but the maids and staff never approached them willingly or treated them well because of how disgusted their appearance made them feel

⇢ this only made our beloved bts princes feel worse about themselves

⇢ an untimely storm, thankfully, was able to give them hope because it made them realise that they weren’t the only people in the world that had the horrible curse inflicted onto them

⇢ the storm forced the count/baron to renovate the mansion as the roof fell through and the princes were sent to another one of his properties where the count’s niece was visiting

⇢ i am naming her Areum, okie? (don’t blame me if your name is Areum, blame on of the many korean birthname websites out there)

⇢ upon seeing the princes, she screams and calls them disgusting monsters, this helps the princes lean on each other for the support and love that they were deprived of since young

⇢ this ultimately leads to them developing an open/poly relationship with one another

⇢ note: poly relationships weren’t uncommon during these times as many royals had concubines and such, it was only uncommon that the partners were all the same gender

⇢ the knowledge of no longer being alone helped them recover from the curse. They also gave and recieved love from each other which vanquished the curse enough so that they grew healthy and finally looked their age

⇢ their recovery was only to an extent however, as they still felt weak and still had the curse marks as well as some rotting skin on areas they were able to easily hide

⇢ eventually, word of their recovery from the curse came out and they were welcomed back into their kingdoms and invited to the annual celebration in worship of the holy beings

⇢ in this celebration, they meet Areum once again, who they had long since forgotten because of their love for each other

⇢ in this meeting, Areum actually acknowledges them as ‘human’ bc their curse wasn’t as bad. she shows them an act of kindness that was never shown to them before so they instantly fall in love with her

⇢ since falling for her, they strieve to win her heart as well but were rejected as she was already engaged to the crown prince

⇢ this crown prince is taehyung’s younger brother, who had ‘replaced’ him because he was cursed and the kingdom still needed an heir to the throne ⏤ this was the same case for all of the princes as they could no longer be the crown prince of their kingdom due to their curse

⇢ when the new crown prince (taehyung’s younger brother) found out that tae was actually his brother all along, he was overjoyed and tried to get close to him but was treated bitterly by tae and the rest of bts bc of Areum

⇢ despite taehyung projecting hate onto his younger brother, his younger brother only admired him and wanted to get to know him as he grew up lonely and craving an older sibling

⇢ bts ended up leading a rebellion in order to win Areum’s heart but their attempts failed and led to their execution

⇢ while reader was reading this novel, she cried and felt only pity and a want to help the fictional cursed princes bc she was able to see how truly sweet they were and reasoned that they deserved so much better than how they were treated

⇢ however, reader knew that she couldn’t do anything as they were just characters in a fictional world

⇢ thankfully, there was a sequel that was published just as reader finished reading the first novel. in this sequel, some type of redemption was given for the accursed princes

⇢ unfortunately, just as she finished the prologue and was midway through reading this first chapter, reader got caught up in an accident (maybe i’ll make it a car accident but that’s too cliche for me so i don’t know...)

⇢ and when reader wakes up she is in bed being nursed by a character from the novel ⏤ the kind hearted chef of the baron/count’s manor who hoped and wished her cooking helped the boys recover somewhat from their curse

⇢ the chef told her that she found her out in the forest in the heavy rain and was about to shout to her when she collapsed

⇢ to thank the chef for saving her life, reader became a maid of the manor as they were fairly understaffed. after stumbling into one of the prince’s rooms she realised that she was reincarnated into the novel

⇢ it was strange though bc she doesn’t remember a maid being called (Y/N) in the novel ⏤ she was possibly a new side character or another insignificant role of the plot...

⇢ that didn’t matter though bc no matter who she was or what she did, she wouldn’t be able to return to her original life as Charlotte the aspiring singer and musician that had yet to make it big

⇢ since she had died as Charlotte in the real, modern world, there’s no way she could ever even think of going back

⇢ instead, she’ll become the best maid and best companion the princes had ever had

⇢ she’ll change their pitiful fate and give them the happy ending they deserve

A/N: NOWWWW THEN! If you’ll all excuse me, I’ve got some major planning to do!

masterlist

#i wish this manga plot was my idea #but i gave it a twist of my own #that i'm not revealing here bc i'm planning on making this a fic #bts ot7 x reader #bts poly au #bts prince au #remember the novel's sequel - that's important

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