#cuz this stuff made me cry
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One Day I Will Return To Your Side: Disco Elysium and Hauntology
#will to live#disco elysium#hauntology#communism#de#de spoilers#disco elysium spoilers#screencaps arent mine#article isn't either obviously#just felt like sharing#cuz this stuff made me cry#and filled me with hope#be vigilant#i love you
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Its Soooooo Fucking Over
#Ive Captioned Like 3 Things That#The Perfect Object Show#Tpos#Neon Sign Tpos#Tpos Neon Sign#Supercomputer#Super Computer#Super Computer Tpos#Supercomputer Tpos#Uuuuuuh I Watched the New DHMIS TV Show It Made Me Cry and Then The Edibles Hit Like and Truck and Now Its#Almost 6 am Im Seeing if I Can Stay Up Till Its Light Out to Go On a Walk#Lyrics are From Beep Beep By Raycoalfaxx Tho Thats Not the Song I Associate Wit This#The Song I Was Specifically Working With Was Fine By Midnight Which Dont Have Lyrics Online#No One Listens to Ray Xoalfaxx But Me#I Fuckin LOOOOOOOOOVE Tpos I Love Tpos#One of My Top 5 Shows Honestly I Fucking Love You Tpos#Dreamy Art#Oh Yeah I Tried 3d On This Cuz Ive Been Talkin With Dez Awseriously and Nio Schoolunxhtray and They Both Do#Really Cool 3d Art Stuff a s Ive Been Meaning to Try it For a While and I Was Like Damn Take a Bite Outta It Nkw or Never
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Since you mentioned aus, consider: swap au where sparrows is the iterator (three sparrows prob fits the iterator naming scheme) and caper is an ancient, idk how you would extend his name tho
my god!!! tryin to figure out how to make curly hair with those kind of things almost killed me. either way i have no fuckin clue what his name as an Ancient would be either,,, but i love this sm, Euros looks so much like a frat boy i can't get over it
i am so fuckin mad tho i forgot that i have lore surrounding Ancients and hand mutilation fuckin dang it- imagine that he has cybernetic grey hands
god.
#Spot says stuff#rw#oc tag#'Euros would have curly hair' is so strongly rooted in my brain... i havent even thought bout a gijinka for him properly yet but This fact-#-i Know. hed be like... the most beauty standards complying high circle Ancient Ever... dull teeth no tail thin just right when it comes-#-to height... which i find very funny cuz normal Sparrows could snap him in half like a twig even tho hes a head taller. ah yes. love.#this was fun tho... it made me realize that A!Caper HAS to look like a frat boy ass but hed cry over the idea of havin kids out of pure-#-love. hed probably work as some communication officer. iterator Sparrows has no idea what shes doin n does Not Like This Religion#I!Sparrows: -finishes One iteration- can i go home now | somebody: you ARE home | I!Sparrows: ... | I!Sparrows: can i get a new home
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Do mechanites cry?
#rolling with difficulty#vrla rwd#mrsn rwd#vr la rwd#mr sn rwd#art i made#yet another thing i drew then just fully forgot to post LMAO#man i had to listen to 3.7 like 3 times for this. goddammit#easter egg: the 4 big infernal books in the shelf all say contract law like its a textbook series i guess#the small one next to them says Doctor Faustus bc i was looking to my irl bookcase for inspiration#and the christopher marlowe play was one of my alevel lit texts#also i think it would be really funny if the devils have their own version of the story of the deal with the devil guy#honestly this may have been the kinda. last straw of my burnout cuz this was a lot of time spent on a lot of stuff im really not good at#and none of it turned out... exactly how i wanted but oh well. it is what it is#ok the kinda annoying thing about me spending far too fucking long drawing super emotional scenes like this is i kinda#desensitise myself to whatever im drawing. like i felt it the most with the demon possession comic i casually tossed into the discord#bc thats the exact kinda angst i personally LOVE but it just doesnt have the same punch after ive been staring at it for 5 hours straight#(anyway go read cal's fic about it its on ao3 and its bloody good)#all this to say. when i first listened to 3.7 and austin had that exchange of like#'noir can i ask you a lore question' 'sure..?' 'do mechanites cry?'#i straight up got fuckin CHILLS. and sometimes i forget that but i try to force myself not to
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the unsleeping city s1e15 hall of heroes
(richard siken voice) you're in a maserati with a beautiful boy,
#i debated whether it was funnier to put brennan or siken in the parentheses#its possible that either way it is only funny to me#anyway ive been crying about esther sinclair being freed from her curse and allowing herself to love#(or to be more accurate allowing herself to thirst lmao)#i swear to gd they better get airtime as a couple in s2. i had to stop watching fhsy bc the zelda stuff made me so upset#that being said i do have to watch times squaremaggedon first. im putting it off cuz i dont want s1 to be over#anyway ive gone on too long. thanks for reading hope you enjoyed#avi speaks#the unsleeping city#richard siken#ricky matsui#esther sinclair
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man why does my family treat me like im not a human :(((
#Like bro i get it you all just woke up but like#I did not sleep at all + i was studying which made my brain numb#and when i wake up all annoyed you all tell me i got attitude issues???#And lets ignore how my sisters literally TORTURE me to wake me up#And when im quiet all day yall ask me to talk???#Dude talk about what you guys dont even want to listen to me?#and then when i talk to myself and inanimate objects you all start thinking i have a boyfriend?#what is that logic 😻😻😻#maybe start considering me as a human who actually gets hurt and feels stuff ill start acting normal again#in the meantime#keep on using me for only your own purposes and talk to me when it concerns you only#and think of me doing stuff for you all as a “responsibility” that i have#BECAUSE IM NOT A HUMAN !!!#and ofc only my sister is stressed about her exams because i dont cry about it like her#oh no no wait till you find out what i actually did the whole past year cuz#i was so emotionally frustrated and brimming with all that ew emotions that i had to take out out somehow#its a shame how i think they know yet they dont care
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got a friend request whos profile comment was just "belial..."
#stardust speaking !#i am sharing this precious knowledge cuz i saw it and started laughing i hope they keep with the game#(person with a million blogs) would u still love me if i made a billion blogs#me horrified looking at how little ive posted here the past months vs how much bs i talk on the other ones#sevilbarras event made me cry btw. im nvr super on board with plot points like what happened but. i sure did cry#the lines about 'now you get to see me in my wedding dress' and 'this is my husband' ruined me. like. i was a wreck#ch6 ended me#also gbf using more povs and stuff like that#like with how it started leaning into a conversation rather a monologue was rly good#cant believe sevilbarra became an uncle just like that#GALANTHALUS IS SO....may we get more lore right now i think its superfascinating#honestly rly good event series highly reccommend both events tbh
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JUST FINISHED DEAD END SEASON 2 AND I AM NOT OKAY
#dead end#dead end spoilers#LOOK IM TAGGING SPOILERS CUZ IM GONNA RANT IN THE TAGS HERE WE GO#well first of all i started a drawing for nad//yah week last night and now idk what to do with it#cuz like. badyah turned out to be straight#and good for her! straight ppl exist!!#i wouldnt ship a lesbian with a man and the same goes for straight girls with other girls#i just. idk it's a thing thats been on my mind now#ALSO ASMODEUS!!!!#and barnlogs was somehow even more disastrously gay and i love them#COURTNEY FALLEN ANGEL THEORY REAL!!!!!#LOGS HAD AN EMO PHASE AND I NEED TO DRAW IT ASDGSKDHKDHDJD#omg the way norma said 'im bi logs! bi bi bi bi biiii!!'#also lets just pretend pugsley didnt ********* ***** ******* cuz it made me cry#<- (joking! kinda. it was well written and its just the kind of fcked up demon stuff i would expect from this show lmao. i just. yeah)#also i like how the angels werent like. stereotypical angels if that makes sense?#like they werent what normally comes to mind when you think of angels#yknow like feathery wings and white robe thingies and golden halos#ig these angels still have halos but like. different#WAIT I ALMOST FORGOT THE SCENE EVER#'*something about the new thread count of the shirts* i want my old shirt back‚‚‚‚'#'why dont you... take it off?'#I ACTUALLY DIED#also barney whos making fun of you for your weight and your binder?! i want names. i just want to talk 🔪#k well its midnight so time to go to bed and cry over a cartoon dog 👍
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It's pretty annoying having to scan basically every artist for i/cest shit in any media that has siblings because most of them hide it on alt accounts/platforms/sly tags and that's a big reason why I'm too burnt out on reblogging art
#literally the word 'pr/ship' feels so dumb to me like it's just gross shit#it's why i fell hard out of submas since if that wasn't the case the 'neutral' artists supported it/stayed quiet#like holy shit I've found a good few artists here on twitter being into that nasty shit just by scrolling#like i shouldn't have to find out on another app on accident to see the person I'm supporting caters to that garbage#'we want to be left alone and ship what we want btw we're gonna violate everyone's boundaries because fuck the purists'#imagine thinking you're a victim because you make art of i/cest and make it your entire personality to consume that media-#and then purposely get into spaces where people are uncomfortable with it/getting joy out of that#'why not reblog stuff without doing it' cuz i don't want someone's shit on my page when they're actually a garbage person#i really don't understand 'lol the purists are upset' -> 'omg they're so mean to us' just because most people aren't on their side with it#literally an anon came into my partner's inbox taunting him about touching his stuff like a 6 year old#imagine preaching 'don't like don't look' but when normal people say 'don't touch my stuff' you reverse and cry 'it's not fair'#or saying how you're proud about the gross shit you make but you have alts to hide it/lie about it like 🤨 thought you were proud of it#it's just annoying when im looking for good trigun/submas/dmc/etc art and see the person who made it ships the twins#like cool#and it ends up becoming a long list and it becomes annoying to look for art to reblog#idk I'm bitching and it's something that's gross#rosebud posting 💐
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that one tumblr post os so righr. why are my parents so old and stupud
#lonely dog speaks#i cant stop being mad at shit ARGGHHHHHH#everyohing my dad does that annoys me slightly makes me want to break glass over his head#which is a constant feeling :•|#just lookingat his air fryer on the counter made me cry#he complaining ever since he gor here about how much junk we have laying around#meanwhile he brougt his air fryer that takes up half the counter. IT'S NOT 'OUR STUFF' IT'S YOUR STUFF !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!💥💥💥💥💥💥#GARGLE MY DICK AND BALLS. dam#and being around him more reminds me of all the things he does that make me so.... disappointed...????#which is sad. cuz he tells me every chance he can get that he's changing himself for the better#😐#VENT
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Sigh (tw very very sad)
#i went with my roomie qnd she said she was frustrated with me but also wamted me to get better#and i dunno. it hurts cuz im trying so hard already. y is she frustrated?#im the one that almost fainted#i feel like such a burden#i should never had gone#i should know better by now. its much better for me to stay myself#i was just so happy she invited me i thought maybe i should go cuz ive been scared she hates me lately#qnd i think i just made everything worse#shell never invite me anywhere again thats for sure#i told her she didnt have to come back after another person dropped me off#cuz she has essays and stuff#and she just didnt respond#i wanna cry so badly#why am i such a bother for everyone?
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Yall get that #autism moment where you feel your meltdown (consisting of screaming and thrashing and pulling your hair out and biting your skin off like a rapid dog) but you’re masking so it makes it just look like you’re in a ‘bad mood’ and not fighting the urge to chop your arms off with a cleaver??
#slurpee speaks#just got off work and I want my same food of mcdonalds but my parents were like ‘lol u cant always eat out’ and kept making jokes ab the…#… stuff we have at home and it was pissing me off like dude I just got off I’m tired and hungry I’m already feeling empty I want some joy#in my mf life. nywayz they made me feel worse and I want to fuckign die but not really but I want to be able to have a meltdown and scream#and cry and shit#cant ever express my emotions 😍😍😍#hate having the ‘tism sometimes :-[#I want t cry#anywayz that’s my life hope you enjoyed cuz I know I didn’t
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#i dont rlly have anything to say abt this. just like. this is happening now !#school principal sent an email that they r aware of the threat and are increasing security and in contact w authorities..#that does not make me feel better lmao#idk i used to not get scared of this stuff like it didnt feel real. and now im abt to cry#ig im on edge now cuz of.. everything#kanye etc#also a couple weeks ago there was a power outage after school and it set off the lockdown alarm#and there were kids who were there after school for clubs and shit who thought they were abt to die i heard one of them talking abt it#whole school was sort of on edge for a bit we had a bunch of new lockdown policies made#listening to ezra furman. is it making me feel better? no but it is making me feel something i need to feel rn#kind of hate everything rn this is so fucked#nachi speaks#antisemitism
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💭
#I’m sad cuz my best friends and I made plans to video chat sometime this weekend#and once again it’s not gonna happen :(#this is the second time this month this has happened#I get that their both busy and stuff and will gladly listen to them rant and vent to me about what’s stressing them out and stuff#but it still sucks… one is a teacher but now realizes she hates her job but it’s the beginning of the school year and her first yr teaching#the other is starting her master’s program that I helped her with the applications and stuff and I know she’s stressed/busy with that#then my pathetic worthless ass is still stuck at home with my shitty parents#still no license/waiting for October to apply to a couple master’s programs for nursing… and still very lonely and isolated…#ok I’ll shut up now before I this about all of this too much and before I start crying and become depressed and shit…#squid sister says stuff
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god I’m shaky today
#today has Not been my day#found out that I got one of the lowest possible scores on a very important french interview#like it’s so low my teacher was like ??? that’s not right ???#and yeah. it isn’t.#i got the level that ur supposed to get if you just started frendh in high school#i started nine years ago#nine years of French and preparing to be told I’m at that low of a level.#(plus stuff happened with ry but honestly I’m just more worried about him than upset- but it still has made my trust issues scream at me)#(I’ll just- try my best to not annoy him too much)#(but my brain is telling me he is lying to me and secretly hates me and just)#(it’s a lot-)#(but I’m gonna shut up cuz I am not crying today I just cried yesterday)#anyways- I just feel like all my motivation is gone now#nine years of prep for this interview and I just#did Horribly on it#there’s no other way of putting it#i got one of the lowest levels possible- I don’t even qualify as bilingual really#i just Suck ig-#anyways- this was about me being shaky#which I am-#like ridiculously so#i feel weak and like I’m gonna pass out? but that’s dumb cuz I’ve eaten and drank water?#also have no appetite at all- that’s been gone for a while tho#anyways#I’m sure I’ll be fine#just venting lol
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so. um. 👉👈
hi guysies.
Ig I should just say like. Hi
I haven't been posting here as much cause. Idk. Might be depression? I keep thinking its cause I've been so busy, which also wouldn't be not untrue, but these past, like, 3 weeks I think so far? I've had some free time but I haven't cause. I dunno, then again, I haven't been doing too much in general? I gues, besides very mandatory things, hell I've even been lacking in my regular skyrim hours of playing.
That, and as said, I get super melancholic when I remember just how sad and bittersweet it is that t0h is. Actually legit over. The show and experience, that is.
Oh all that and also becuz my headphones broke! Fuck! That's like number 2 in my bare necessities for when I post, do almost anything really! It's seriously been painful this past month going without headphones holy shit. Dude I've been scratching at the bit for some relief for headphones, I NEED music legitimately. Even right now, as I'm typing this on my phone, my music is on low levels.
But yerp. Its been. Rough. Really rough. I really do appreciate yall, everyone of yall. Have a sweet week everyone, ✌️!
#the butts chronicles#ogh but yea. been rough.#as said I have no idea if we'll keep this house cause man shits been fucked#uhhhh. lets see. recently my sister got into a fairly nasty argument with her husband since they were both drunk and hes a bit of a. hm#quick to being mad guy? I spose? but yea they made up and he actually apologized to me and my family for that so. its okay?#OH YEA FUCK LOL a few weeks ago fuckin tecksas got hit nasty with a hurricane and GUYS. I FREAKED OUT SO BAD LOL#cuz there was hail with the rain but since. I dont think we even ever experienced hail here I was scared that my ceiling roof broke again#and that it was the rain leaking to my room ceiling and was about to burst my ceiling so I legit started hyperventilating and panicking#with like. short and heavy breathing and almost crying badly until I went to look outside and saw hail and only slightly calmed down#oh but yea it was nasty lol. then the next day almost the entire block lost power and apparently sparks were happening cause fallen trees#uhhh. lets see. hmmm. OH OH RIGHT DAMN I FORGOT WE GOT A PUPPY LOL#we've gotten a lil pup all the way back from dec? iirc and she is now older and a shit lol shes in her teething phase and whatnot#still p cute tho and very puppyish. oh yea also during dec our power went out and ogh man dec was so freezing literally.#almost as bad as the one from. uhhh I cant remember the exact year but I remember it being within these past 4 years at least cause I read#a t0h fic during it lol. oh yea speaking of. we also changed our light company and damn. its been not bad so far! we had to pay up to 300#in our old company and now we dont even get to 200 so far! hope Im not jinxing it! hmm oh did I already say before that I had to get a new#phone? cause I did and I did not enjoy it lol. had it for a while and now and its arguably worse cause no damn headphone plug-in#I think I did mention this but in case. I did finish counseling. well more accurately they required payments again since things and whatnot.#I think? I mentioned the stuff I got for my bday and chmisas. I got mostly neat stuff. I guess. one of them has still yet to arrive lol#uhhhh. hrm. I did get Mr. Martinet's autograph as a present! hrmmm#my other sister got another surgery a while back and its been relatively the same since. hmm. my only other living grandparent passed away#me and my ex got into a. not great argument cause mistakes and whatnot. raccoons in the attic thats hopefully taken care of for now#aaaaand the plushes I ordered a damn near year ago have been technically canceled cause of unfortunate circumstances for the creator#who just kinda. posts things now lol ig.#but yea. lots. holy shit guys. lots has happened. fuck man. I think Ive been way more tired than I thought.#not to mention the past weeks of just. reflecting. man#uhhh#long post#LOL i gues#but yerp.
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