#crying two days ago and thought it’d be days until i feel better but rn i was dancing in my room and feeling happy about that
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google what does it mean when i am sad but then happy but then sad but then happy but then sad but then happy but then sad but then happy but then
#coming to realise that maybe this is just how life works#crying two days ago and thought it’d be days until i feel better but rn i was dancing in my room and feeling happy about that#so maybe life is just#this#i talked!
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What happened before Wolfstar got custody of Harry? Requested by an anon way too long ago. I didn’t think it’d work as a soc media post so this is what you get. Also I am not a writer and sorry if this is terrible but here you are anyway 🤷🏻♀️
- When Lily and James die, Remus and Sirius get a call and they rush to the hospital and demand to know where Harry is. They’re told he’s being watched and it will be decided where he’s placed soon.
- Sirius goes off. Harry is his godson! It’s stated in the Potters will! But of course, no one can find the Will.
- 1 week later and it’s announced that Harry will go to live with the Dursley’s as his only blood relatives.
- Remus and Sirius ransack the Potter house to find their will but have no idea where it could be. And it gets harder and harder to look through all these memories but they need to save Harry. Lily used to talk about how awful her sister had become when Lily started dating James. Petunia is a racist bitch. They can not leave Harry in that house.
- They are trying to use this frantic searching to distract themselves from the fact that their best friends have died and they don’t have Harry like they had wanted and were supposed to.
- At least one of them visit number 4 just about every day to try and check up on Harry. The Dursley’s don’t want him but they do want the money that comes with looking after him.
- Wolfstar want to buy the house just down the road from the Dursley’s but they really can’t afford it rn (Remus has a lot of medical bills and Sirius has that house he hates but it’s rent free and it’s suitable for now and they’re saving what they can for lawyers)
- wolfstar got lawyers to fight and spent most of their saved money trying to get Harry to his rightful guardians. Minnie McG might’ve donated some as well when she heard what was happening.
- they’re getting nowhere without the will. And they can’t really prove anything. Child protective services are hardly even checking in on the Dursleys.
- It’s been a year and they hardly catch a glimpse of Harry when they knock on the Dursley’s door. Still nearly everyday. They’re still very worried. Eventually the Dursley’s stop opening the door to them.
- Sirius decides to try the Potter house again. Which nothing has been done with seeing as there is no will and James had just paid it off. So eventually it would go to Harry if it came to that.
- Wolfstar have decided once they get Harry and the Will that they will sell it for the money because they can’t stand to be in that home without them. So Sirius goes with the excuse of packing belongings for Harry to go through some day.
- he finds the fucking will, somehow. It was signed by both Lily and James, as well as a letter from them written by Lily to Sirius and Remus, and another written to Harry
- It turns out the Potters were planning on going into hiding until the crazed man who’s threatened them has been apprehended. She wrote that she didn’t know what was going to happen and that she just wanted them to know she loved them all just in case. She was very thorough in her explanations.
- The man hadn’t known they had a son and because Harry was sleeping upstairs he wasn’t there when the man killed Lily and James. The cops tackled him before he did real damage to Harry. Leaving him with his scar.
- This was all in the letter (except how they died) and there was the will finally. After a whole year of fighting for Harry and it going no where.
- Sirius left everything but the letters and will, crying as he got home to Remus as fast as he could. He yelled for him when he came home and collapsed into his arms when he got to him.
- Remus: “Sirius! What’s going on you’re scaring me! Is it Harry? What have they done to him?”
- “Re. Re I found it.”
- “Found what?”
- “The will! And these letters. Oh Remus I can’t believe it. We have a chance now!”
- Remus was shocked into silence. Just holding his hand out for the papers.
- They cried together for a long time. Then called their lawyer. Even though it was 10pm
- It still took another year however to get Harry back. Harry had been forced to lie. He was afraid of his uncle and said he liked living with them when the social worker asked him because Vernon had threatened him and said no one would care anyway. He was only 4 years old when that happened.
- The social worker made a surprise visit one day in the third year of Harry living with the Dursley’s. He had now just turned 5 years old. The Dursley’s were home but they thought it was a delivery man and told Harry to get it while they were at the dinner table eating.
- Harry answered the door. He had too big clothes on, a bruise on his cheek and wrist, and his hair was unwashed.
- She knelt down to his height.
- Hello Harry dear, do you remember me?
- Harry just nods.
- “Can you answer a couple questions for me before I come inside? I won’t tell your aunt or uncle what you tell me okay?”
- He nods again.
- She points to the bruise on his wrist. “Who gave you that?”
- “Uncle.” He whispered staring at the bruise.
- And this one? She points to his cheek.
- “Uncle.” He said even quieter.
- “Where are your aunt and uncle?”
- “Dinner.”
- “And what are you having for dinner tonight?”
- “They’re having chicken.”
- “And what are you having?”
- He looks at her in confusion, “Nothing.”
- Now even more in alert she asks, “Do you get to eat dinner usually?”
- He shakes his head.
- “How many times do you eat every day?” He just shrugs. And she gets an even worse feeling in her gut.
- “Can you... show me where you sleep?” At this point she was trying to find things to prove what she now was seeing was a horrible situation for Harry to be in.
- He nods and grabs her hand to pull her inside and closes the door. He walks a few feet to the cupboard under the stairs.
- “Here.” He says and opens it and she sees a little cot and a threadbare blanket. Horrified, she stares for a moment.
- Then Vernon yells from the dinning room “Boy! Who was at the front door! Get back in here now and no dawdling!”
- Harry is shaking. Eyes wide staring at her. Instead of going to his uncle. He latches onto her legs tightly. He looks up at her tears starting to form and just says “Please.”
- Her heart breaks right there.
- Out comes Vernon with a pan raised and Harry squeaks and buries his face in her thighs.
- Vernon freezes. Tries to hide the pan behind his back and says “Ms. Irvine. How lovely to see you.”
- Ms. Irvine just stares at him with tight lips while she clutches Harry closer and put the phone to her ear with the other.
- Vernon and Petunia Dursley are thrown in prison on charges of severe child neglect and abuse. Because of the Dursley’s, Remus and Sirius are vetted for weeks in order to see if they’re good fit for Harry, despite being his godfathers as stated by the will. When they are finally allowed to see Harry for the first time in three years they are horrified at how skinny he is and how small he is which they can now see as Harry has on proper clothes. They start crying immediately and are so relieved that he’s away from the Dursley’s even if he doesn’t come home with them.
- they were warned by Irvine that he wasn’t being fed properly or taken care of properly. That he’d probably be quite cautious around people in general, that he hasn’t been asking for what he needs because that fear has been instilled in him, and especially that it seemed that he wasn’t often if ever referred to by his name, only ‘boy’ so she’s been trying to say it as often as possible
- When Harry sees Remus and Sirius for the first time in three years he stares at them for a minute then says “Padfoot? Moony?” with a little confused look on his adorable face.
- Remus and Sirius fall to their knees crying and ask If they can hug him and tells him they love him. Harry walks cautiously over to them but stops two feet away. Remus then pulls a stuffed deer from his pocket and holds it out Harry, his eyes light up and he takes it from him and hugs the deer desperately, remembering the deer from when he was a baby.
- Harry then looks at the two of them with a little hope in his eyes.
- Harry looks back to Ms. Irvine and she comes over to whisper in his ear
- “you can hug them if you want but you don’t have to, Harry. And they won’t hurt you I promise.”
- Harry stares at them for a long couple minutes
- He then reaches out to touch the scar on Remus’ face and looks nervous but asks “okay?”
- Wolfstars’ hearts explode because how can he be so kind and worried and obviously nervous that they’ll be mad for him asking yet still want to make sure the Remus is okay.
- Remus smiles gently. More tears forming and says “yes pup I’m okay thank you for asking. Are you okay, Harry?”
- “Am now.” He whispers and looks between them and his social worker. He looks back at Remus and lifts the hair on his forehead to show off his scar, “We the same.” He says.
- Remus chuckles a bit while his heart aches and nods at Harry, “yes we are Harry.”
- Sirius finally clears his throat enough to talk, “we’re so glad that’s you’re okay, Harry, we tried very hard to visit you and take you home with us but your aunt and uncle didn’t let us come inside. We’re sorry it took so long to help you. We love you very much Harry. We only want you to be happy.”
- Ms. Irvine steps in then, “maybe we all ought to have dinner together. So we can talk more and get to know each other better? Harry are you hungry?”
- Harry looks shyly up at her and nods just a little bit.
- “Wonderful, what would you like to eat, Harry?”
- He stares at her for a full minute but she just keeps eye contact and waits for him. Eventually he says quietly, “pizza?”
- “That sounds like a good idea. What kind of pizza do you like?”
- Harry just shrugs.
- “How about a cheese pizza and we’ll see if you like that?” She looks at Remus and Sirius, “would you like pizza? I’ll order some now, and you can continue to get to know each other.”
- “Sounds like a wonderful plan,” Remus says and pulls out his wallet.
- “Oh no Mr Lupin, don’t worry about it, my treat. What kind do you two like?”
- “Hmm. I think Pepperoni tonight?” Remus asks Sirius and Sirius nods.
- “Perfect, I’ll go call it in.”
Part 2
Masterlist
#drarry social media au#drarry social media#harry potter#social media au#wolfstar raise harry potter#wolfstar#sirius#sirius black#remus#remus lupin#dad wolfstar#child abuse#starvation#headcanon
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Lift the Veil - Chapter 14: Thnks fr th Mmrs
Rating: T
Summary: After living in Tokyo for the past six years, she decides to head back to Azumano to escape the big city. However, she now has to face everything that she tried to flee from all those years ago. How exactly will she fare when the pages of a long forgotten book start turning once more?
Alternate links for reading available in my description! (Except for on ff.net rn since I’m having technical difficulties uploading it onto there.)
What better way to ring in the new year than with yet another Lift the Veil chapter! Here’s to (almost) new beginnings for our two main characters.
We are one, I repeat, one chapter away from the next arc of this story! So stay tuned for the tonal shift this story will take once we get there!
Happy readings, ya’ll!
Chapter 14 – Thnks fr th Mmrs
And I want these words to make things right, but it’s the wrongs that make the words come to life.
Alone. In my apartment. With way too much food for me to finish without puking it all up, too much alcohol for me to be around in such an emotionally precarious state, and an overwhelming understanding that I shouldn’t be in this situation any longer than I need to be.
I called Ritsuko first, half hoping she would pick up and half hoping she wouldn’t. She answered after the second ring.
“Hey, Risa! I thought you were busy with Riku and Daisuke’s return.”
“I was.”
“Your ‘was’ is worrying me.”
I take a deep breath. “Can you come by? Please.”
“Yeah! Yeah—let me just finish up something first, and I’ll head over as soon as I can. Can you hang in there until then?”
“I’ll try.”
“Okay, Risa, now you’re really worrying me.” I heard movement from her line. “Do you need me to bring you anything?”
“Just empty Tupperware. Please take home some of the food I have here.”
“Gotcha. Just wait for me, alright?”
“Alrighty. Thank you.”
“Always, hun.”
We hung up, and I stared at my phone. Ritsuko would be enough, right? I scrolled through my contacts until I saw Takeshi’s name. Did I need him over? Could he even be over? And what about Akane? Would she—
ACHOO.
The sneeze cut my deliberations short as I accidentally pressed the button to call him. And, after my round of sneezes ended, I heard a faint voice blessing me from my phone. I brought it to my ear, realizing it’d be too late to hang up now.
“Hey, Boss, are you feeling alright?” he asked with genuine concern.
The words rolled around in my head, like bingo balls bouncing around in their cage. I could say yes, effectively putting an end to this conversation and just dump everything onto Ritsuko. Takeshi would tease me for days about this call, but—
“No. I’m not.”
There was silence until I heard a muffled voice that sounded too high to belong to Takeshi. Akane?
“Akane’s asking if you need anything.”
“Just bring some empty containers. I have too much food here. ”
“Awesome!” I hear noise muffling the line. “I’ll be on my way soon.”
“You don’t—”
“Nope. Nu-uh. I don’t want to hear it, Risa. I’m going to be over soon, and there’s nothing you can do about it, okay?”
“…okay.”
“Okay? Good. I’ll see you in a bit.”
He hung up, and I looked at my phone resting in my lap. Ritsuko and Takeshi were heading to my apartment to comfort me after Riku blew up because she found out about Satoshi. In other words, the world was going to explode in my face, and there was nothing I could do about it.
If I could help it, I wouldn’t tell them, but the secret was out. Knowing Riku, she’d intentionally blab about it until she finally came to terms with it. Which probably won’t be until after she’s razed Azumano to cinders. Besides, I’d rather they hear this from me than her. Better from the primary source, after all.
Dammit, Kazama. I really didn’t want to cross this bridge this soon. (Hopefully, this won’t bring that ugly mug of his back to Azumano again, either.)
Some time had passed as I sat there, unmoving, unable to process anything, slowly decaying with each breath I took until I heard them. They didn’t need to ring my doorbell. Ritsuko and Takeshi’s angry voices carried through the walls of my living room.
I sighed before getting up to open the door. And, sure enough, I peeked out into the hallway to see them a couple of units down. I glared.
“You guys better get in here before I throw out all my food.”
“This is your fault, Fukuda!” Takeshi screamed.
“My fault? Let me remind you that—”
I closed my door, mentally readying myself for any potential noise complaints as I returned to my spot on the sofa. When I heard them finally knock on my door, preluded by sweet silence, I let them in.
“Friendly reminder that I do have neighbors so please, for the love of God, keep it down. Thank you!”
“Yes ma’am!”
Ritsuko, still having not seen my place, gave herself a tour while Takeshi stood by the food, silently deliberating on what he’d take back with him.
“Sorry I couldn’t help you move in!” Ritsuko called from my bedroom.
“No worries! How was your business trip to Sapporo?”
“Honestly? I’d rather have suffered at the hands of moving stress than what I dealt with there.”
“Sorry to hear that.”
Ritsuko eventually finished and closed my bedroom door behind her. She sat on the sofa, and Takeshi joined her on the opposite end. They looked up at me, expecting and scrutinizing, and I sat down in the space between them to keep them from fighting.
I felt my arms start to shake once I realized that there was no turning back once from this.
“So, what’s up?” Ritsuko asked.
“Just…give me a bit.”
She nodded as I took a couple of deep breaths to calm myself down. They didn’t really help though; they were only delaying the inevitable.
I took one last deep breath.
“…I was Hiwatari’s friend with benefits in high school. And he ghosted me a month before we graduated.”
They balked. Ritsuko quickly regained her composure, but Takeshi just looked like the world had suddenly turned upside down.
“I know we all had our suspicions, but…” Ritsuko couldn’t continue.
“Holy shit. Holy shit.” Takeshi paused. “This is what you were keeping from us? I knew it was bad because Satoshi was somehow always very specific yet very vague but—oh my god.”
“Who else knows?” Ritsuko asked.
“Some of the adults managed to piece it together, and I thought that Hiwatari-san kept it to himself like me…until he told me that Daisuke found out.”
Ritsuko looked at me in horror. “Oh no.”
“So guess who told Riku while being drunk out of their mind on their trip to Zurich?”
“No.”
“Yup.”
Takeshi groaned. “Daisuke, buddy, I love you, but how the hell could you pull a Satoshi with the last person on Earth you should’ve blabbed it to?”
“’Pull a Satoshi?’ What the hell do you mean by that?”
“Fukuda, I don’t know if you’ve had the—ah—displeasure of drinking with Satoshi, so let’s just say that he has no filter when he’s gone. One time, he said…er…”
“’Er?’” Ritsuko repeated.
Takeshi looked at me. “I don’t know if I can share this.”
“After Risa’s statement? You could literally tell me the world is ending tomorrow, and it would still pale in comparison.”
Takeshi bit his lip. “Well, since it involved Risa, I suppose I can. Just brace yourself. Please.” He then directed his attention towards Ritsuko. “You didn’t hear this from me, Fukuda.”
“Just. Spit. It. Out.”
“Risa, um, I don’t know if he told you this already, but he was practically in love with you in high school.”
Ritsuko gasped. “What?”
“Oh, I know. He told me in Vienna.”
“What?”
Ritsuko looked so distraught compared to Takeshi, but he was probably only taking this marginally better because he knew more about the situation. And since I already had enough time for me to decently process everything, I was faring the best out of the three of us. How funny that the ones I called to keep me company while I was distressed are the ones left even more distressed by the situation.
“Okay, okay,” Ritsuko said. “I understand why you didn’t tell us about it, but I don’t understand how or why this happened.”
“Fukuda, get with the program here!” I felt her glare, directed at Takeshi, pierce through me. “There was nothing to be done here.”
“Bull. Shit.” I winced. “They both loved each other; therefore, they cared about each other. If they really cared enough, then they probably wouldn’t have ended up in this mess in the first place.”
“That was their problem: caring about each other.”
Being stuck in the middle of this felt like the personification of what was once my mental state. Their increasing volume, directed at my eardrums, really wasn’t making this any more pleasant than when it was contained in my mind.
“They would’ve found some way to talk it out then. What, did they not trust each other or something?”
“Bingo.”
Ritsuko stopped arguing, and an expression of bemusement erased the frustration from earlier.
“Risa, explain.”
“I…don’t think it’s my right to explain. Well, not for him anyway. Maybe ask Takeshi later if you’re so curious. Or ask Hiwatari out for coffee sometime and get it from the man himself.” I forced a laugh. “Trusting people is hard when you’ve gone through stuff, you know?”
Understanding what I was implying, Ritsuko nodded. I saw tears bead at the corner of her eyes, and she excused herself to my bathroom, leaving me and Takeshi left on the sofa.
“How’re you holding up?” I asked him.
“I honestly don’t know how I’m still keeping it together right now,” Takeshi hollowly laughed. “I know more about it than most people, but I’m still in shock about it. I get why it happened, but like, Satoshi’s the most logical person I know, so it’s just difficult for me to wrap my head around how he could let this train wreck occur.” He sighed. “God, considering how awful I’m feeling now, I can’t even begin to fathom how you two must’ve felt about the whole thing.”
“You can empathize?” I joked, if only to relieve the tension in the room.
“Boss, why do you gotta be like this now? I’m trying not to cry here!”
“Don’t you dare shed any of your tears in front of me.”
He retreated into my bedroom. Moments later, Ritsuko sat down next to me with puffy eyes and a red nose. She offered me a weak smile.
“If anyone should be crying, it should be me,” I said.
“Oh, can it. You want to cry, but you can’t, so you’re making all of us get dehydrated for you.”
“Crap! You’ve foiled my evil plan!”
Ritsuko laughed, and I smiled. Honestly, I was too numb to feel much of anything. Just having Riku find out the last thing I ever wanted to know about and barreling into my apartment with murderous intent was traumatic enough to shock the emotions out of me.
“Honestly though, I was so scared to tell anyone, especially you guys. What if you said that I couldn’t feel the way that I felt because I needed to be mindful of what Hiwatari-san when through? Or took sides, whether mine or his? I couldn’t deal with that.”
“Like Riku?”
“Yeah.”
“Well, I get where she’s coming from. Even though I’m understanding of the situation, that doesn’t mean I’m not angry. There’s a lot going on here, and a lot I don’t understand, but I can see why you didn’t tell anyone back then, right? They’d tell you to cut him off, unaware of the baggage you two carry, and it would’ve just made you feel even worse about the situation, right?”
I nodded.
“Well, Saehara and I are adults who aren’t your family. And we’re also his friend. What you’ve said here won’t change anything regarding our relationship with him. Likewise, what he says about you when I ask him about it won’t change the fact that you’re an amazing person that I’m proud to call one of my best friends.”
“Ritsuko!” I pulled her into a hug that she returned.
“After everything that happened, this is what makes you tear up? God, you’re hopeless!”
I laughed, wiping my tears away as I let her go. Takeshi returned, looking like he had taken a trip through the seven layers of hell, but he grinned before sitting back down on the sofa.
We spent the evening digging into some of the food while watching a movie since I had done more than enough talking. And once they left, bags filled with Tupperware and wine, I retreated to my bedroom and collapsed on my bed.
I turned to the music box sitting on the nightstand, winding it up before floating away to dreamland.
…
I woke up the next morning, before my alarm clock would shock me awake or the sun would burn the inside of my eyelids, to my phone ringing. Most people wouldn’t think to bother anyone at this time but, cracking an eye open to look at the caller ID, he wasn’t most people.
“What?” I croaked, irritated that he needed me for whatever reason that warranted a call at this time of day.
“Good morning to you, too.” I could hear the smile in his voice. Damn bastard was enjoying this. “How are you faring from last night?”
“What do you mean?”
“Leaving you alone with all those bottles of wine after what happened yesterday? It doesn’t take a genius to put two and two together; you’re probably hungover.”
“I am a perfectly functional human being who has other coping mechanisms besides drowning myself in alcohol.”
“Past experiences say otherwise.”
“I didn’t drink at all last night; I have Takeshi, and Ritsuko as my witnesses.”
Hiwatari fell silent on the other end of the line while I stretched awake, putting my phone on speaker as I got up. While I was making my bed, Hiwatari spoke up.
“So they know now.”
“I’d rather they didn’t hear from Riku, so I told them first. Sorry to tell them so soon.”
“It’s fine.” He paused. “Should I be expecting attempts on my life now?”
“Nope. They took it well, surprisingly. They might give you a hard time because of it, but no one wants you dead. I think.”
After smoothing out my sheets, I admired my handiwork before grabbing my phone and heading to the kitchen for some breakfast. “Anyways, why’d you call?”
“Partly to check up on you in case you were hungover, but I was wondering if you’d be okay with me walking you to the news station today.”
“…really? You called me this early in the morning for that?”
“I’d rather not be greeted by your choice designer handbag of the day in my face.”
“Who said I’m still not going to do that?”
“Damn. I thought this would lessen my chances.” I could hear the lilt in his voice, and I couldn’t help but smile. “I’m glad to hear you’re doing okay though.”
“I’m about as okay as I’m going to be considering. Thank you for your concern, though.”
“It’s no problem. And could you also open your door, please? This bag is quite heavy, and it might become a problem for me if I keep standing here holding it.”
My usual alarm rang and, startled, I frenzied over to my front door. I swung it open to see Hiwatari standing there, convenience store bag in hand, with unveiled derision on his face.
“…actually, seeing you fresh from bed might be a greeting worse than a purse smashing my face. Tokyo has not been kind to your skin.”
“Get inside before I smash your face with that bag in your hands.”
…
“So, how’s the engaged couple?” Takeshi asked before unceremoniously slurping his noodles and splashing some of his broth onto shirt as if he didn’t just ask a loaded question. He couldn’t be this obtuse considering what just happened.
“Why don’t you ask Daisuke yourself?” Hiwatari asked.
“After what happened when they got back? I’d rather not deal with Beauty and the Beast.”
“And you thought we would have the answer to your question?”
“Maybe not the Boss, but I’m sure you’ve got something, Chief. Gimme the deets.”
“Riku’s out for my head; Daisuke’s trying to protect it: the usual. I have nothing else to report.”
Takeshi groaned. “Useless! It’s like you want me to die in the lion’s den.”
“I’m sure an unsuspecting fly like you will survive just fine.”
And with that, Hiwatari started eating his noodles, effectively direction his attention away from Takeshi and cleanly cutting that conversation short. Thus, I was the next victim of his poor attempt at small talk. “So, Boss, how’s the ramen?”
“Beautiful,” I answered, eyes trained on the wisps of steam coming from my untouched ramen. I noted the sheen of the broth on the noodles peeking out, following the fat bubbles gently floating amongst the green onions.
“Er, that’s not—”
My phone rang, and I looked at my phone to see a text from Riku asking to meet up for dinner later. Considering what had just happened, I didn’t think it would go well, but this was my sister. As hesitant and terrified I was, I wanted to put this behind us as quickly as possible.
“Whozzat?” Takeshi asked when I put my phone down after sending out my reply. He slurped down yet another ungodly amount of noodles, and I tried to conceal my disgust.
Akane scored in the relationship department. Truly.
“Riku. She asked to meet up with her later, so that’s what I’ll be doing instead of enjoying the comforts of my bed.”
Takeshi whistled, shaking his head, before returning to his bowl. “Don’t die, Boss.”
“I’ll try not to; no guarantees.”
I then decided to dig into my bowl, truly savoring my first bite. May this feeling prevail during dinner.
“Are you sure you’re going to be okay?” Hiwatari asked, voice laced with concern.
“Yeah. What could possibly go wrong?”
Takeshi and Hiwatari looked up from their bowls with their eyebrows raised. Hiwatari’s skeptical expression, paired with Takeshi’s eyes that begged me to rethink my words, helped me realize that I was only fooling myself. My sister was a human, but she was a Harada. And, considering that we have practically the same blood, I knew the insanity that could arise from it.
No doubt, were this situation reversed, I wouldn’t have stopped until I had the head of whomever hurt my sister roasted on a spit.
“Okay. Fine. Everything can and probably will go wrong.”
“It was nice knowing ya, Boss.”
“Let’s relish in our last meal together before your premature death.”
“Oh, go f—”
“Irasshai!”
…
“God speed!” Takeshi saluted. I returned the gesture.
“We’re here for you if you need us later,” Hiwatari assured.
“Hopefully, I’ll be fine. And I’ll just bother Ritsuko if I need someone. You guys have done more than enough by walking me here.”
“What’re friends for? We gotta see you before you march to your death!” Takeshi chirped.
“Really?”
“Boss, your sister is terrifying.”
“Don’t mind him,” Hiwatari said. “Good luck.”
I nodded, waving goodbye to them as they walked away. And once they started talking to each other a considerable distance away, I took a deep breath before walking in. This was Riku’s favorite place to grab sushi, and I saw her standing by the hostess’ stand, a couple of minutes earlier than what we had planned, as she nervously toyed with a stray thread on her blouse. She noticed me and smiled before turning to the hostess, who greeted us with a blinding smile, as she led us to a booth with two menus in her hand.
Why the booth of all places? The bar was ideal: I wouldn’t have to face Riku, I could occupy myself by staring at the chef, focus on anything and everything but—
“Can I have a beer and a highball?” Riku ordered once our waiter came by. He then turned to me, expecting, just like the sister that sat across from me.
“Just some green tea, please.”
The water nodded, heading off to grab our drink and attend to the other patrons, leaving me to watch Riku flip through the menu. (She didn’t need to. Her staple was the combo of maki rolls.)
“Do you know what you want to eat?” she calmly asked me as if she wasn’t radiating anger and didn’t just order alcohol.
I was not making it out alive.
“Um, I’ll just have some ebi and tamago nigari.”
“You usually order something extravagant. Don’t be shy; it’s my treat.”
It’s precisely because this is your treat which is why I’m being shy. As susceptible as I am to free food, this was a gift horse I needed to burn. “It’s okay. I had ramen, and I’m still kind of full.”
“Huh,” she hollowly said. “Didn’t think your appetite could ever be quenched.”
And the crocodile snaps!
Before she prematurely exploded, the waiter returned to our table with our drinks. Riku ordered for us before the waiter headed off. I moved my drink closer to me, unable to enjoy the warmth in my hands as she downed her beer. I expected her to polish off that highball, but she called a waiter passing by, asking him to for a gin and tonic. Once he left, she grabbed her other drink that she finished in seconds before slamming the glass on the table and staring straight into my eyes.
In any other situation, this would’ve been a great time to ask what college shenanigans Riku got herself into considering what she did took skill, and we could laugh about all the ill-timed hangovers and nostalgia over a nice sushi dinner. This was me trying to imagine this as anything but what it actually was: terrifying.
“Honestly, Risa, what the hell were you thinking getting involved with Satoshi like that?” she asked, more disappointed than angry. “You should’ve known that was a bad idea.”
“Yes because I was able to rationalize while I was sick with the flu and the guy I thought would never love me kissed me.”
She groaned, reaching for her drinks. And when she found them both empty, she groaned again before slamming the empty glass on the table. Again. “If I wasn’t drinking right now, I wouldn’t be able to stomach your bullshit excuses.”
“Yeah, you’re right. All I’ve really got are bullshit excuses for what happened.” I paused our conversation when our water returned, drink in hand, as he placed it in front of Riku. I flinched as she reached out for it, scared she would down it again, but she merely took a sip. She looked at me when she finished, expecting me to elaborate. “I took the opportunity because I knew Hiwatari would—could—never accept my affections.”
“Do you know why he stopped talking to you and tried to erase you from his existence?”
“Did you know about it before Daisuke told you?”
“Not the specifics, but like everyone else, we knew something happened between you two back then. I thought the six years apart would’ve smoothed it out since you tend to over-exaggerate everything but—god. I didn’t think it was this bad.” She sighed before having another sip of her drink. “Are you guys stupid enough to think that getting closer would fix this?”
I shrugged. “Apparently.”
“You two are insane.”
“Just like what you’re being right now.”
She glared at me with a red face as the alcohol settled into her system. “I have every right to after hearing everything from Daisuke. Do you need me to—?”
“I know, Riku. Hiwatari-san told me himself.”
The rage in her expression fizzled out as she stared at me with wide eyes. Was this the ammunition she was waiting to use to get me to listen to her? Was she hoping that this would end it all?
“Y-you need to leave Azumano and get away from Satoshi,” she started. “This closeness can’t be good for you two. I-I don’t want to see you hurt again.”
Tears formed at the corner of her eyes, and she furiously wiped them away. Were those her true feelings hiding behind that animosity of hers? Or was it the alcohol causing her emotions to swing?
“I’m calling Daisuke to bring you home now.”
“No! I’m—”
“I’m calling him.”
She didn’t protest. She just sat in her seat, silently sipping on her drink while I headed out to call Daisuke. I returned to see Riku’s head resting on the table.
Passed out or asleep?
Daisuke came by pretty quickly, and I spotted him, completely flustered, as he approached our table.
“Oh, god, Risa. I’m so sorry.”
“Don’t apologize. Just make sure she gets home safe.”
He nodded, hoisting her up on his shoulder. I expected him to leave immediately, maybe whispering something under his breath, but he just stood by the table.
“About Riku finding out…sorry. I accidentally slipped up by saying something, and Riku kept pestering me about it and—”
“It’s fine. Just go.”
And with that, Daisuke left. The waiter then came, food in hand, wondering where my sister went. I told him not to worry about it, saying to just leave the food there and get me the check ASAP.
“Risa?”
I looked up to see my parents hovering at the edge of my table. They were excited to see me, but what were they doing here?
“Where’s your sister?” my mother asked as my dad slipped into the booth across from me.
“Home. She ended drinking a little too much, so I asked Daisuke to take her back home.”
My mom gasped before sitting down next to my dad. “Oh my, goodness. Is she alright?”
“I hope so. What brings you two here?”
“Actually, Riku was the one who asked us to come.”
“Why?”
My mom shrugged. “She said she’d explain it to us here. Do you know what she wanted to talk to us about?”
“No clue,” I feigned. The longer I kept my parents unaware of this, the better I’d feel. No way did I want to deal with the wrath of three Haradas at any given time. “You two help yourselves. My treat.”
“Thank you,” my father grumbled, cautiously eyeing the half empty drink Riku left, taking a sip of it, and slowly moving it towards him, before looking through the menu.
“Are you going to eat that?” My mom motioned to the maki set that Riku ordered. I shook my head, and she happily dug in.
I had a feeling the next time I met them, they would be hostile. So I enjoyed this brief moment, getting along with my parents for once and hoping it would never end.
…
Once I was at the news station the next morning, my phone started vibrating like crazy. My mom was sending frantic messages about Riku waking up with a headache, asking me if I was sure that she was okay. Riku certainly was far from okay, but I didn’t want to aggravate this already precarious situation so, like any responsible adult, I lied to my mom by telling her that Riku was having so much fun last night that she wasn’t pacing herself well before silencing my phone and stuffing it into the deep recesses of a pocket in my purse that I zipped up.
“Good morning, Harada-san,” the security guard greeted when I approached the elevators. “There’s someone looking for you.”
“Where are they?”
“Upstairs. I led them to your cubicle.”
“You just…let them in like that?”
“He showed me proper ID, but I can’t seem to recall his name. He just told me that he has official business with you.”
“…and you’re sure that it’s not Commissioner Hiwatari?”
“I’d recognize him anywhere, so it’s not him.”
“Okay. Thank you?”
He offered me a smile that I hesitantly returned before walking past him, mentally noting that we might need a personnel change for safety measures. Who could possibly need to have an official meeting with me and come by unannounced?
…oh shit.
Once the elevator landed on my floor, I rushed to my cubicle. There Kazama sat, leaning back in my desk chair with a mug of coffee in his hands, animatedly chatting with Takeshi who looked ready to keel over. Poor guy having to deal with him so early in the morning.
“And so—oh! Harada-san! The woman of the hour! You’ve kept me waiting!”
“And you’ve entertained Takeshi enough. Let him get back to work.”
As Takeshi passed by me, he patted my shoulder. I expected a look of gratitude of relief on his face, but he looked like he was on the verge of tears. “You’re a saint for saving me, Boss, but the Chief’s going to kill me for coming into the precinct so late.” He rushed out before I could even offer him words of consolation for the predicament this dickhead had put him in.
“It’s to be expected that a Hiwatari knows how to crack the ol’ whip every now and then!” Kazami chirped as I loudly dropped my stuff onto my desk. He was unfazed by the noise, but a couple of my neighbors peeked over the walls of my cubicle, wondering if they could get a glimpse at what had pissed me off first thing in the morning.
“So, what brings you here?” I ask, sitting down in a chair I reserved for guests because of Kazama’s snooty ass lavishly lounging in my comfortable one.
“That’s a rhetorical question, isn’t it?”
“Look, I know why you’re here, but couldn’t this have waited until I finished work for the day? Also, don’t you have super important cases to win back in Tokyo?”
“They’re not as important as getting some much needed R&R.” I scoff at his comment. “And am I not allowed to say hello to my favorite Harada?”
I wince at his words. “You’re not. I have work to do, and you’re bothering me right now, so you need to leave.”
“Not even a please? Goodness, whatever happened to treating your elders with manners?”
“Look,” I started in English, hoping my coworkers would have trouble understanding me, “my job already pisses me off enough, and I don’t need you to add onto that stress, okay? So if you could just lay off until this evening, that’d be great.”
Kazama whistled. “Amazing accent, Harada-san! I expected nothing less from a Todai graduate.”
I glared at him, and he stood up and gathered his things. “I’ll see you at Satoshi’s place for dinner, then?”
“If you’re cooking, I’ll pass.”
He chortled, knowing that I enjoyed his cooking far too much to miss out on it, and he left without another word. As I settled into my seat, I saw the peering eyes disappear in my peripheries. While I got myself ready for yet another day of work, I heard the murmurs of my coworkers as they concocted yet another rumor to spread about me.
Don’t these people have anything better to do than waste their time on the train wreck of my life?
…
As usual, Hiwatari met up with me outside the news station after the broadcast finished. We didn’t talk much on the way to his apartment, but we dropped by a bakery and grabbed a cake.
When we arrived, we were greeted by a lovely smell coming from the kitchen. Hiwatari greeted Kazama while I sat down at the table, admiring the cake through the flimsy plastic window on the box. All I had to do was survive an amazing dinner with not-so-amazing company, and then I could indulge in this beauty.
After talking to Kazama, Hiwatari headed into his room. He came out in yet another pair of ratty pajamas before slipping into the seat next to me.
“Have you talked to Daisuke yet?” I asked.
“No. It’s—I can’t bring myself to see him. I’m upset that he told Riku, but I’m mostly ashamed that it had come to this.” I nodded. “How was your talk with Riku last night?”
“She got super plastered, passed out at the table, and I had to call Daisuke to pick her up. She couldn’t last long enough to tell my parents about it.”
“Your parents?”
“Yeah. She was planning on telling them while half delirious under the influence of alcohol. Luckily, they didn’t find out, but I don’t know how long they’ll be kept in the dark about this.”
“Oh, juicy stuff!” Kazama interjected. He placed steaming hot plates of food in front of us, and it looked like he cooked extra for me to take home. “So, the older sister knows and is planning on making it worse by involving your parents?”
“Well, they have every right to know, but I’d rather they not.”
Kazama’s laugh trailed off as he went into the kitchen. He returned with two cans of beer, placing one in front of me, before plopping into one of the empty seats and opening his can.
“None for you, Big Boy. It’s what got you into this mess in the first place.” He took a sip. “Ah, that’s the stuff!”
For the most part, dinner went smoothly Hiwatari and Kazama rambled on about politics while I savored my food. When we finished, Hiwatari vehemently insisted that he do the dishes, leaving me and Kazama in the living room, crowded around the TV softly playing a rerun of an old drama, while Kazama cut the cake.
“For you, madam,” he joked as he passed me a slice of cake and a fork.
“Thank you, but shut up.”
When Hiwatari finished, he sat on the floor by Kazama. He helped himself to a slice of cake with a blank expression.
“So, the heart of the matter, you two,” Kazama started. “Run your next steps by me.”
“Jump off the cliffs and fall to our untimely deaths,” I grumbled before taking a bite of my cake.
Ah, how blissful.
“Seconded,” Hiwatari said.
“Ah-ah. The goal is to live, children. So, seriously, what is your plan?”
“Hope my parents never find out.”
“And if they do?”
“Die.”
“Harada-san! I trusted you to be stronger than this! What did you expect to happen as a consequence of your actions?”
“This. Exactly this. It’s just as bad as I envisioned it to be.”
Kazama laughed, clearly amused at our suffering, but he eventually calmed down. I expected him to say something absurd or rude to follow my statement, but he didn’t.
“You can’t control others, Harada-san. All you can do now is hang in there and take the punches.” Kazama paused. “Does your family normally react this extremely to these kinds of situations?”
“Yeah. They’ve always been over-protective, but I think it got worse after Argentine kidnapped me.”
Kazama didn’t say anything. Instead, he turned to Hiwatari and frowned. “Friendly reminder that this is your fault. I won’t protect you from whatever will come your way. Do you understand me?”
“Yes.”
“You need to accept that the family you found with the Haradas will change or disappear when they find out.”
Hiwatari’s lips thinned in a line. I didn’t know how dear Hiwatari held my family. Likewise, I didn’t know how fondly my parents thought of Hiwatari, either.
The thought of losing people never sat well for anyone, especially Hiwatari. I couldn’t imagine what he could be feeling right now.
“Well, since shit hasn’t completely hit the fan, you two should play it by ear.” He glanced at the clock on the wall. “Well, it’s time for me to visit the Niwas! Can’t wait to see how divisive everyone will be! Toodles!”
The front door slammed shut, leaving me and Hiwatari with a half-eaten cake and the TV blaring some annoying advertisement. I moved towards him, concerned at his slumped body.
“So, how’d the thing with my parents happen?” I asked. “I’m genuinely curious; after all, they’re not the Niwas.”
“Because of Riku.”
Hiwatari looked up and, after noticing the shock on my face, looked back down at the floor. “…you don’t know what happened?”
“This may or may not be news to you, but I also cut off contact with everyone in Azumano while I was in Tokyo.” I narrowed my eyes. “What happened to my sister?”
“After you left, she couldn’t leave her bed. She was nauseous, feverous, and could barely keep anything down.”
“What? Why?!”
“Apparently, whenever you two were separated for extended periods of time, Riku would always get sick.”
“Why is this my first time hearing about this? And from you of all people?”
“No one wanted you to worry. And you probably would’ve never found out if it weren’t for me. And this situation.”
“Okay, so what do you have to do with any of this?”
“When I heard about it from Daisuke, I decided to pay Riku and your family a visit. For whatever reason, they thought Riku’s condition was caused by some spiritual connection the two of you share because you’re twins.” Hiwatari frowned. “I don’t understand why you Haradas are so obsessed with mysticism.”
“You’re one to talk with that magical, artsy blood flowing in your veins.”
Hiwatari sighed before continuing. “It turns out that Riku was too anxious without you. Her brain was conditioned to think that the two of you being together meant that both of you were safe. So, whenever you were gone, she ended up worrying about both you and her.”
“What’d you do?”
“I told her you weren’t really gone. You were just living your life in Tokyo without much of a care in the world.”
“…I’m assuming that didn’t help.”
“Not at all.”
I laughed, and Hiwatari smiled before continuing. “Riku needed to learn how to live again for herself. So I made her exercise, go out with family and friends, and suffer through game night at the Niwas. I just needed to jumpstart her brain so that she wouldn’t crumble again when she returned to college.”
“Returned to college?”
“She had to withdraw from college during her first semester after failing her first round of midterms.”
Our eyes met for a couple of seconds, and the shock initially on his face gave way to an expression of hurt. “Harada-san…”
“Continue, Hiwatari-san.”
“Are you sure?”
“Continue.”
He hesitated, and I watched him shift his posture slightly to buy him some time. His hand slid closer to me, unable to move any further: all he could offer at this moment was half-assed consolation, but it was the only thing we could mentally accept right now.
I slid mine closer, thankful for the gesture but too afraid to fully commit, and Hiwatari continued. “Since she wasn’t getting better, I had to coerce your parents into taking her to therapy. She improved from there, and she was able to go back to college the following year.”
“How did you get closer to my parents then?”
“A little while after I started coming over to help Riku, your mother, in true Risa fashion, had sat me down once with coffee and asked me to talk about myself. Honestly, I mostly just sat there in silence while she bombarded me with questions.” I laughed. “But, while one of her daughters was AWOL, the other one practically unresponsive, she still somehow managed to genuinely care about how I was doing.” He paused. “From there on, your parents somehow found a way to make me feel at home. They let me breathe in a way that the Niwas didn’t. Even though I had an inkling they did it to cope with what was going on with the two of you, I felt like that was how it felt to have parents.”
“Huh.”
Hiwatari only smiled. “Well, anyways, my uncle’s right; I only have myself to blame for this mess.” He then glanced at his phone. “And as much as I appreciate this intimate session of catching up, it’s late and we both have work tomorrow. It’s time for me to walk you back.”
“I’ll be fine. Thank you for the offer, though.”
“…I would insist but, after the conversation we just had, please accept me calling you a ride.”
“Thank you.”
Hiwatari packed enough food to last me a week and enough cake to fatten me up in two evenings. I stood by the door, putting on my shoes, and ready to go home and think.
“Harada-san.”
“Mhm?”
Hiwatari looked lost for once. “Your ride is here.”
“Thank you.”
“And I’m sorry.”
I laughed at his awful timing. My hand reached out to playfully punch him in the shoulder but, after seeing that somber expression on his face, I stopped myself. Only then did I realize the gravity of the situation.
“…your ride is about to leave.”
“Yes! Yes, I’ll see you around.”
When the door closed behind me, I sprinted down. The driver was feeling especially chatty for that trip, affording me a handful of minutes to not think about the shit storm waiting for us. And once they dropped me off at my apartment, it took me everything to not march to Mizuame de Noisette and have an evening full of regret.
I headed up to my room like a responsible adult and decided, instead, to pass out on my sofa, unable to fall asleep despite the tinny notes that usually lulled me to sleep.
…
Daisuke had sent me a message the next morning asking if I could meet with him at the museum café. I sent a message to the group chat I had with Takeshi and Hiwatari saying that I had other lunch plans that day and for them to enjoy their midday meal without me.
So, whilst eating a chicken club sandwich in a sterile museum café, Takeshi kept spamming the chat with the lunch menu from some upscale restaurant. I silenced my phone before tossing it into my purse and giving Daisuke my full attention. He was digging into a salad and wincing with each bite he took.
“Um…are you alright?”
“I need to start losing weight for the wedding.”
I blinked, examining Dasiuke’s lean body for any sign of fat. The man was barely filling out his clothes. What weight was he trying to lose here?
“Please don’t tell me you asked me to come over for solidarity during this time of suffering.”
“Oh no. I just wanted to let you know that Riku’s planning on telling your parents about what happened with you and Satoshi before she left for work later.”
I nearly squeezed the filling out of my sandwich.
“I also wanted to apologize, but I don’t think that’s going to help the situation.”
“Well, even though you’re right, I still accept your apology.” Daisuke nodded. “Actually, I’m kind of also here to ask about what happened with Riku after I left.”
Daisuke looked up from his sandwich in shock. “Satoshi told you?”
“Yeah. Why? What’s wrong?”
“Well, Riku kind of made us promise her to never tell you about it, but if Satoshi decided to tell you, I’m sure he had a good reason to break it then.”
“Is me asking about how he got close to my parents a good enough reason?”
“Considering the impending situation on our hands, I think so. Besides, I think it’s good that the truth is finally airing itself out even if it’s a little…hectic right now.”
“You’re the last person who should be saying that considering this mess is kind of your fault.”
Daisuke sheepishly smiled. “I suppose you’re right then.”
I watched him cringe through another bite of his salad, and I had half a mind to order the menu item with the largest calorie intake. My future brother-in-law shouldn’t have to suffer like this right after getting engaged.
“Well, I honestly don’t know if I can add onto whatever Satoshi already told you. Since I was in college at the time, I only saw Riku on the weekends. She called me a lot because Satoshi was brutal with her, but I don’t think that’s what you wanted to hear from me.
“I will say, even though I am your sister’s fiancé, I do think that she’s overstepping a boundary here. I understand that she’s hurt, but what she’s set out to do is probably going to cause more harm than good.” Daisuke smiled. “But there’s nothing we can do about that now. Once she’s like that, you know it’s impossible to stop her.”
Our talk had made me lose my appetite, and I left lunch with Daisuke earlier than I thought I would. Takeshi came into the news station that afternoon to gloat about his amazing lunch date with Satoshi, to which I didn’t pay much attention to considering I was more worried about what would occur later that day.
When I got a message from my dad around the time that Riku usually left for work, I knew it was over. I messaged Daisuke, requesting that he ask Kazama to grab a table at Mizuame de Noisette later, and I marched home for what may be one of the worst evenings of my life.
#satorisa#dnangel#satoshi hiwatari#risa harada#d.n.angel#dn angel#my writing#fanfiction#lift the veil
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Survey #188
“don’t you try to hide with those angel eyes.”
Would you rather take a walk in the cold rain, or in the blistering heat? Ha, the rain, any day.
What is your favorite card game? Magic: The Gathering.
If it were revealed that religion in its entirety did not actually exist, would your outlook on life be any different? No.
If you had the chance to slip through a portal, despite being aware of any of effects and/or consequences, would you do it? No.
Which parent was more strict when you were growing up? Mom.
Worst facial hair, in your opinion: The pedo mustache. You know the one I'm talking about.
Have you ever eaten dinosaur shaped chicken nuggets? Yes, I like, demanded we get those instead of regular as a kid lol.
McDonalds, do you like it or does it disgust you? I honestly don't see why people hate it??
Do you like the state you live in? No.
Did you ever own a Tamagotchi? I believe so.
What do you hope you grow out of? The laziness I have with chores oops.
What is the healthiest and unhealthiest thing you do on a regular basis? Healthiest, drink at least one bottle of water... even though I know that's nowhere near where I'm supposed to be lmao. Unhealthiest, drink soda.
What is the most embarrassing thing you own? Ummmm idk.
What is the strangest habit you have? I have to go use the bathroom literally right before I lay down for bed. Doesn't matter if I did ten minutes ago, I /have/ to go again because if I feel even a damn drop in my bladder, I can't sleep.
What movie made you cry the most? The Notebook, probably. Titanic really got me, too.
What was one of the happiest moments of your childhood? Getting my dog.
What’s your favorite vacation memory from when you were a child? Watching the fireworks above the castle at Disney World.
What impression do you try to give when you first meet someone? I try to be very polite.
Who or what inspires you to be a better person? Mark.
What’s the TLDR description of your last relationship? I didn't like him like that.
If you found out your current life has been just a dream, would you choose to wake up? (You don’t know if your real life would be better or worse.) No. Well... do I ever wake up? If I was going to at some point, then I would, as I'd just be hurting myself by living in a word I would only leave.
What dumb thing did you believe for a really long time? I'm not even remotely kidding, I didn't put together what "PMS" stood for and thought it was about mood swings 'n shit *during* your period until a few months ago.
Where would you like to retire? I'm not thinking of that yet.
What brings you the most joy in life? Talking/being with Sara.
How many windows are on the upstairs part of your house? We don't have an upstairs.
Do you own many hats? I have a Carolina Hurricanes one somewhere from going to a game with Dad, maybe two actually, but idr where they are or if I even still have them.
When was the last time you were kept off school/work etc because of snow? I haven't been in school in a long time and I'm unemployed.
Have you ever taken an underwater picture? No.
Ever been on a ride and hated every second? Not seriously. I went on one I was terrified of (one of those circles that goes waaay up and then abruptly drops you) just to step out of my comfort zone, but I didn't hate it. Scared tho.
What were an average day’s tasks at your favorite job you’ve had so far? I most certainly don't have a favorite.
Does your car have a backup camera? I don't have my own car, but Mom's doesn't.
Are you working on any goals? Yeah, not going well. :')
Do you enjoy reading? Not particularly... I kinda just stopped enjoying it, but I also associate it with the hospital because that and coloring was all I ever did. The only thing I really *enjoy* reading is our RP because I'm so deeply invested in our characters, but even then, I procrastinate reading long posts. I'm genuinely trying to start reading again, though... I used to adore it.
Are you interested in politics? No, though I should care.
Did/Do you enjoy high school? Not usually 'cuz I was a depressed shit.
Have you ever watched The Golden Girls? YES Ma and I love that shit.
Did you ever like the Ninja Turtles? No.
Ever been in a meaningless relationship? Tyler, yes.
Does anything on your body hurt right now? Not at this very instant.
Know anyone on birth control? Most girls I know + myself.
Would you go swimming right now if you could? Yeah, that'd be nice.
How long was your longest relationship? Over 3 1/2 years.
What are you looking forward to in the next 3 months? My birthday.
Have you ever gone frog hunting? No.
Who’s the last person to seriously hurt you? Mom.
Do you like getting dirty? NO.
Are you a very flirty person? No.
Who was your favorite babysitter? "Uncle" Donny.
Do you swear? I think I make that pretty obvious.
Are you gullible? Not usually.
What is the last dream you remember? (describe) A nightmare with Dad that I don't really remember the details of.
What is something that you fear will happen to you in the future? (Also why) I'll develop Alzheimer's. "Why" is obvious. Thankfully, it doesn't run in my family at all.
Describe the best day that you can remember? First day at Sara's.
Describe your worst day? The night of the breakup.
What are some of your favorite songs right now? The SYN remix of Slipknot's "Psychosocial," "Incense and Iron" by Powerwolf, the "Closer" cover by Asking Alexandria, "Sex Metal Barbie" by In This Moment... I really have a lot rn.
Do you ever have reoccurring nightmares? Describe? I've had four nightmares with my dad, all with horrible themes. I guess you could call that "reoccurring."
Name a fictional place you would like to go? Take. Me. To. Azeroth bitch. Stormheim in specific, or Feralas.
What criminal (dead or alive) would you like to sit down and talk to and why? None.
If you read books, what are you reading now? I'm very, very slowly reading The Fault in Our Stars.
Do you think that forgiveness is mandatory to move on from something? No. I still don't know if I forgive Jason, yet I'm over it.
Do you believe in the death penalty? In extreme cases, yup. Some people have no right to life following some crimes.
What is something you want to do but are scared of actually doing it? Ride a rollercoaster.
Name three things you would buy if you had the money to buy them? A PS4, drawing tablet, another tat.
Are you in a relationship right now? If so, do you think it’s a healthy one? Definitely!
(Follow up) If it’s unhealthy, what makes it that way? N/A
Would you ever date someone long distance? I am now.
Name a person that you can’t stand and tell us why? My former best friend for a plethora of reasons.
What group do you hate the most on Tumblr and why? SJWs. I'll stay away from "why" because I have extremely strong feelings and don't wanna offend anyone.
What is the meanest thing you have ever done to someone, and why? Messaged Jason before leaving for the ER, directly blaming him. I mean the cause was what he did, but like... you don't fucking contact someone telling them "hey I'm off to the ER because I'm suicidal because of you." I don't care what I feel about him now, that was fucked up.
Have you ever sent anon hate to someone? Nope.
If you could write a book, what would it be about? I actually think it'd be pretty cool to create some sorta novel series involving all the RP stories, like divide the books into each mob's story...
If you could make one rule that everyone had to follow, what would it be? Don't exhibit violence.
If you could star in a movie, what kind of movie would it be? ONE W/ TIM BURTON.
In your opinion what is something horrible everyone should try once? ??????????????????????????????
What is the hardest lesson that you have ever learned? Someone can fall out of love with you.
What mistake do you keep making over and over again? Jumping to conclusions.
If you could have a video of one event in your life, what would the video be? The moment Sara and I met.
What is the most illegal thing you have ever done? Pirated a computer game I desperately wanted to play afsjjwoeuqowe I'm glad I don't have it anymore, that guilt.
People in the past were buried with things that were important to them, what would you be buried with? The pebble from Holly Hill.
What is something you are against, but find yourself doing anyway? Being sarcastic as hell when I'm mad.
What was the last photo that you took? A leaf, I think.
What are your favorite lyrics from a song? Probably "a bloody war behind my eyes; I'll come all right on the other side."
Have you ever hit someone? Who and why? Nicole when we were little for making me mad over something I don't remember.
What do you think they should teach in school that they don’t? Basic adult skills.
What’s your favorite language? German. It sounds so powerful to me, especially in metal ajsfoawoejaw.
What’s the most vivid dream you’ve ever had? I don't remember.
Who’s your favorite celebrity? Korean Jesus.
Which store would you choose to max out your credit card? Rebel's Market rip.
Have you ever been in a beauty pageant? No, far from on my to-do list. I don't support them in the very least.
How many tattoos do you have? Six.
If you don't have any, have you ever thought of getting one? N/A
When's the last time you ate a homegrown tomato? Like, '16 on a sandwich.
Are you a good cook? NOOOOOOOOOOOOO.
Do you know how to pump your own gas? No.
What do you think about the most? The future.
What do you do most when you are bored? Watch YouTube.
Which came first: the chicken or the egg? Chicken.
What kind of books do you like to read? Fantasy.
How far away from your birthplace do you live now? Like, <10 minutes.
Ever been stung by a jelly fish? No.
Could you cope with the paparazzi if you were famous? FUCK NO SOMEONE WOULD GET KNOCKED OUT.
Do you wear foundation? Veeeeery rarely.
Would you ever adopt? If I actually wanted kids, sure.
Are you sexually active? No.
Last person you sang happy birthday to? Sara. <3
Was the last jacket you wore yours? No.
Last thing you won? Uhhhh good question.
What level of brightness do you usually keep your phone at? A bit above the middle.
Have you ever attended a religious or private school? Well, I went to Sunday school.
How many cars does your household own? One.
What's your favorite meat? Ummmm pork or chicken.
What's the best amusement park you've ever visited? Well, Disney World.
How old were you when you got your first car? I still don't have one lol.
Do you know anyone who's gotten pregnant over the age of 40? I don't think so?
Who does most of the grocery shopping in your home? Mom.
Are you listening to music right now? If so, what's the theme of the lyrics? "Adrenalize" by In This Moment. Sex, like it seems most of their songs are about lmao.
What movie/game/etc. helps you calm down? Shadow of the Colossus.
What does your room smell like? Dog, probably.
Do you like to organize? Not particularly.
What song is your aesthetic? "She" by Dodie is so Soft and Good.
Do you believe in auras? Maybe? Idk.
What do you wish you hated, but actually like? Blood On The Dance Floor. I've never really looked into the concrete facts, but I know supposedly they've been sexually involved with those underage. I like a good number of their songs, though.
Is there someone you have mixed feelings towards? I'm sure there's someone.
Do you prefer space or the ocean? Spaaaaace.
What form of government do you like the most? (capitalism, socialism, etc.) Honestly? I don't know actually what they are and I don't care enough to research.
What do you think our purpose is in the universe? Hell if I know.
Is there a song you can’t handle listening to, even though you like it? "Stairway to Heaven."
What ex do you miss the most, if you have one? I most miss who Jason was, not who he became at all. But it doesn't matter, I have someone way more important now.
What is your favorite thing to learn about? Meerkats.
What country’s history do you find the most interesting? Idk.
What breakup was the hardest, if you had one? lol y'all know
Do you have someone where you can’t decide if you like them romantically or just as a friend? Not anymore.
Do you have any strange interests? RP.
What is a topic you are uncomfortable with discussing with most people? Sex.
What is something you dislike about the dating world? People don't seem to take love seriously.
What gives you confidence? Feeling knowledgeable on the subject.
Have you ever dated someone with very different sexual tastes than you? No. Well, not that I know of. I've only been sexual with one.
Have you ever said anything you regretted while drunk? No.
Has anyone ever been extremely jealous of you? Do you know why? Idk.
What was the angriest your parents ever were at you? Dad, idk. Mom, probably when I said "fuck you." That was a night. Or when she tried to kick me out of the car for some argument I can't remember.
What was the longest you stayed in your own home for? Weeks, I'm sure.
Right now, what is your number one desire? Get a job.
Do you feel as though someone ‘won’ in your last break up? No.
Whatever happened to the first person you ever loved? I haven't spoke a word to him in almost two years, idk and idc really.
Are you currently healthy? In some ways, but no in most.
What is something most people are turned on by but you’re not? Extremely muscular men, like wrestlers.
Has anyone in your life changed drastically (for better or worse) since you met them? How? Not that I can think of.
What song reminds you of good times from high school? "All Signs Point to Lauderdale" by AD2R ironically lmao.
Have you ever inherited something? What and from who? No.
Who is the last baby that you held? Keegan.
Do you know of any twins with rhyming names? No.
Last time you saw fireworks? Long time ago.
Do you have a black dog? Teddy has some black on him.
Do you have a top price where ethics and morality are no longer an issue? No. Well, I guess it depends.
What is the greatest physical challenge that you have accomplished? Losing ~60 lbs.
Have you ever played naked Twister? No.
If tattoos didn't hurt and you could get anything, what would it be? The #1 tat I want is dA's NukeRooster's painting "Denialism" (I got her permission), but I'm going to have to go to an extreme professional, and it's gonna be priiiiiiiceeeeeeey.
Have you ever been ghosted before? No.
Did you ever get caught watching porn? No, because I've never watched it.
Were you ever the bully? No.
What's the worst prank someone has ever done to you? Idk.
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Fake Boyfriend Pt. 1 | Fuckboy! Ong Seongwoo
genre: slight fluff & angst
member: Ong Seongwoo (ft. Yoon Jisung)
requested: yes
a/n: thanks for requesting! Inspired by a heartbreaking fanfic I read and also, I'm in the mood for writing angst rn, so prepare your heart before reading this. Hope it's angsty enough for you! (I think I'm reading too many angst fanfics lately)
warning: language, implied smut (there's no actual smut though, because I can't write smut). I don’t know what else, but yeah, things around that. And this is a bit longer than my other scenarios.
summary: your family kept pestering you to get a boyfriend so Seongwoo ended up becoming your fake boyfriend to stop them.
Part 1 | Part 2 (completed)
"I told you I'm fine. Don't worry about me," you said tiredly to your phone.
Seongwoo who was sitting in front of you gave you a questioning look, asking who was on the phone with you. You mouthed Yena and he nodded in understanding, continuing to slurp his coffee.
He knew that Yena, your cousin, had been continuously pestering you to get a boyfriend. You hadn't been in a relationship for seven years while she's about to get married next month. And she was two years younger than you. She felt awful for getting married before you so she kept setting you up on countless blind dates, hoping you would find the right one for you before her marriage. However, not even one of them attracted you, because all this time you only had your eyes on the man in front of you, Seongwoo.
It'd been ten years since you got to know Seongwoo. He'd been your classmate when you're at first grade of high school and you had been crushing on him since then. But you knew better than to confess to him, because he didn't do relationships. He's not the type to commit to one relationship. He's the type to do one-night stands, no strings attached. So obviously, you would only ruin your friendship with him if you confessed, knowing that he would reject you for sure. And you couldn't stand being apart from him. Even if it meant you had to hear about him fucking around with different girls everytime.
"But I'm worried!" Yena said so loudly that you had to take your phone away from your ear for a second. "I can't get married in peace knowing you're still single! I'm worried that you'll get lonely because we always hang out together at my house! But I don't think I can spend that much time with you after I get married! So-"
"I have a boyfriend," you blurted out and regretted it immediately. Yena was just blabbering and worrying so much about you that you couldn't help but lying to calm her down.
You could see Seongwoo's eyes widening in front of you, taken aback with what you said. He knew you'd been single for years and he would know if you had a boyfriend because you're practically together with him the whole time; even now, you both were working in the same company. Seeing you grimace after your unintentional lie, he chuckled.
"Oh really? Why didn't you say so? So who is it?" Yena asked excitedly. She sounded so happy that you felt bad to tell her it's actually a lie.
However, before you could say anything, Seongwoo snatched your phone and said the thing you never imagined he would say. "Hi, Yena! It's me, Seongwoo and yeah, I'm her boyfriend."
Your jaw hung open and your eyes widened in shock. You were looking at him as if he had gone crazy and before you could snatch your phone back to tell Yena that it's not true, Seongwoo mouthed to you I got this. So you just waited for him to finish his conversation with your cousin; you were too distracted with your own thoughts that you didn't pay attention to what he was talking about. The only thing you had in your mind was: what just happened?
After Seongwoo hung up the phone and returned it to you, you snapped back to reality and asked him, "What the hell was that, Seongwoo?"
"Be thankful to me, kid. I just saved your life," Seongwoo said and gulped down his coffee nonchalantly, acting as if he hadn't just said he was your boyfriend to Yena. "Oh, and Yena asked me to be Jisung's groomsman because I'm also his friend. You're her bridesmaid, right? Also, she told me that we will stay in her cottage in Jeju for a week before the marriage, helping her preparing for the wedding or something."
"Wait, what?" You gaped at him, unable to process the information.
"I said we'll stay in Jeju for a week-"
"Not that, Seongwoo. Why did you lie? About being my boyfriend? You don't do relationships," you said, giving him a confused look.
"One, this is a fake relationship. Two, I'm helping a friend in need." Seongwoo counted with his fingers. "So it's totally fine with me."
You could hear your heart shatter. Avoiding his gaze, you looked down and sipped your coffee. It was bitter, just like how you felt right now.
Of course. Seongwoo wouldn't agree to be your fake boyfriend because he had feelings for you. He only did this to help you, as your best friend of ten years. Just what were you hoping for? You felt stupid, tears threatening to escape your eyes.
Your phone vibrated in your pocket and you took it out to see a message from Yena.
Yena: I knew it! I've always been wondering if you and Seongwoo are a thing. You two are stuck to each other like glue everytime we hang out! You didn't have to hide it from me, though. I won't judge him or anything. I know that he has a bad reputation, but if he's willing to change for you, then I don't need to worry about a thing. And congratulations! I'm happy for both of you!
You bit your lower lips to hold yourself back from crying. How nice would it be if Yena's words were the truth? How nice would it be if Seongwoo was your actual boyfriend and he'd changed because of you? How nice would it be if everything was real and not a pretend?
"Hello? Y/N? Are you with me?" Seongwoo waved his hand in front of you attract your attention.
You blinked in surprise, seeing his hand so close to your face, and flinched in your seat. "What?"
"I said we need to match our story now," Seongwoo said with a sigh, seeming like he'd been repeating this a few times. "Who knows what they'll ask us? We don't want to be caught lying, right? So, how did we end up together?"
And the question successfully broke your heart to pieces. You were tempted to call it off and just told your cousin the truth. However, your greedy self wanted to do this. You wanted to enjoy being Seongwoo's girlfriend, even only for a week. Because when would you get another chance like this? So you continued with your plan even if you knew perfectly well that you would end up badly hurt because of it.
***
"Okay, let's review for a bit before they come. What's my favorite coffee?" Seongwoo asked, holding a book with all your fake dating stories written in it. You two were now in the airport, waiting for Jisung and Yena to come for your flight to Jeju.
"Caramel macchiato," you said without needing time to think. You already knew most of his favorite things since your school days, so you didn't exactly need to memorize anything about him.
Seongwoo smiled and closed his book, putting it inside his backpack. "Fine then. We're all good. Now we only need to practice."
You raised an eyebrow. "Practice what?"
Suddenly, Seongwoo took your hand in his, intertwining your fingers, making your breath hitch. "Skinships. We need to do a lot of kissing too. If not, it'll be obvious that this is all fake."
"W-what? K-kissing?" you stuttered nervously. You hadn't thought that far when you agreed to this fake dating thing. Of course, there had to be skinships.
Seongwoo sighed and gestured you to lean towards him. "Come here."
You gulped and slowly narrowed the gap between the two of you, but not close enough. Your heart was beating so loud you're worried that he would be able to hear it. But without warning, Seongwoo put his other hand on the back of your neck and pulled you close to him to kiss your lips.
Your eyes were wide with shock when you felt his lips on yours. But soon, you melted with the kiss and kissed him back. The feeling was amazing, much more amazing than you'd expected. You'd been wanting to be kissed by him for such a long time, so you could hardly believe that he was kissing you right now. You'd been wondering how it would feel like when he kissed you. And now, after ten years, you finally knew. It felt so right; no other words could explain. You felt loved, just like how you hoped him to love you back all this time. Until you realized the kiss was a fake. It was only for a show.
Seongwoo pulled away first and smiled. "Good. The love seems real."
You held yourself back from saying, because it is real for me, you idiot.
"Hey, you lovey-dovey couple." You heard Yena chirp from afar.
You turned to see Yena and Jisung coming towards you, looking exceptionally happy, and you couldn't help but smile at them, happy for them too. Seongwoo wrapped a hand around your shoulder and you tensed at the touch before forcing yourself to relax. This was necessary to make it look real.
"Jisung, it's been a while," Seongwoo greeted, a big grin plastered on his face.
Jisung was Seongwoo's college friend and they hung out every once in a while when Seongwoo wasn't out with you. They seemed really close to each other as you saw Jisung slap Seongwoo's back lightly to greet him.
"Good to see you, brat. Finally settling down, huh?" Jisung said.
"Yeah, I don't know where I would be without her," Seongwoo lied smoothly, gazing at you so lovingly that you almost believed that he's telling the truth.
You smiled and high-fived Jisung as you greeted him. Yena had introduced you to him five years ago, right after they started dating, and he was in Yena's house all the time - he practically lived there - so you eventually became close friends with him too.
"Aw," Yena cooed and nudged Seongwoo's elbow. "Is this the Seongwoo I know? You changed so much. I can't believe it. You're totally head over heels over Y/N. She's so lucky!"
You nearly laughed bitterly out loud. Lucky? If only you were as lucky as Yena thought you were. Seongwoo falling in love with you was something that would never happen. And the possibility of Seongwoo committing to his relationship with you was zero.
But for the sake of Yena's happiness, you forced out a smile and said, "True. I'm so lucky to have him."
***
"This is your room," Yena said as she stood in front of the room at one corner of the house. "I think you guys want some privacy so I think this room is perfect for you. It's far from other rooms, which means no one will be able to hear you guys." She ended her words with a playful wink.
You were so taken aback with what Yena was implying that you blurted out, "We sleep in the same room?"
Seongwoo squeezed your hand to remind you that you were supposed to be dating him. "Thank you, Yena. We really appreciate it." He turned to face you and said sweetly, "No need to be embarrassed, babe." You flinched and blushed at his nickname for you. "Anyway, the other rooms are occupied." He shifted to look at Yena again. "Isn't it?"
Yena gaped at you, noticing your uneasiness. "Yeah, our family are staying here too. But if you're not comfortable with it, we can switch. Jisung with Seongwoo and you're with me."
You finally came to your senses and realized that you're here to make Yena happy, not make her worried about you. So you shook your head and smiled, "It's fine, Yena. I'm just shy."
Yena looked relieved, her smile coming back to her face. "Just have fun, guys. That's the main reason I bring you two here, so you can enjoy your short holiday from work. Well then, good night!"
After Yena left you two alone in your room, you stared at the double bed, nervously biting your lower lip. You had never been alone in the same room with him, how could you sleep on the same bed? You would certainly be overly nervous that you couldn't sleep a wink. Even now your heart was pounding hard against your ribcage. Seongwoo must have seen your expression because he then took a pillow from the bed.
"I'll take the couch," Seongwoo announced and before you could react, he threw the pillow to the couch and went to the bathroom, possibly preparing to sleep.
You sat on the bed, still in disbelief that you would share a room with Seongwoo, the one you had been crushing on since forever. When he came out from the bathroom, you quickly rushed inside. You washed your face with cold water, an attempt to calm yourself down. After finishing your routine before going to bed, you braced yourself and came out of the bathroom, only to find Seongwoo already falling asleep on the couch.
Relieved that you didn't have to face him when you're extremely nervous like now and risk him knowing your feelings, you searched for a blanket in the wardrobe and draped it over Seongwoo's body. You boldly looked at his sleeping face with affection, because he wouldn't know what you were doing anyway, and muttered, "Good night, Seongwoo."
Agreeing to fake dating Seongwoo was a bad decision, because each second, you fell even deeper for him.
***
The next day wasn't that bad. You had convinced yourself that you would enjoy this week you had as Seongwoo's girlfriend to the fullest, pushing away the fact that it's only temporary and it's all a lie for now. Anyway, with so many of your family coming to join you in the cottage, lying to them would be harder if you didn't actually think that you were really dating him.
However, when Seongwoo suddenly kissed your lips the morning at the veranda, you couldn't help but flinch out of reflex, giving him a confused look.
"They're watching," Seongwoo whispered to you as he pulled you closer to him and kissed you again.
This time, you relaxed and kissed him back, wrapping your arms around his neck to deepen the kiss. You didn't care about anything else. You only wanted to focus the feeling of his lips on yours, carving it into your mind so that you wouldn't forget when all of this was over. Without realizing, a drop of tear escaped your eye and Seongwoo saw that.
"Are you crying?" Seongwoo pulled back and cupped your face with his hands, staring into your eyes worriedly. "What's wrong?"
"Oh really? I think I'm tearing up because the wind is too strong here," you lied, laughing to hide your sadness.
"Hey, you lovebirds!" Jisung shouted from inside the cottage. "Stop sucking each other's face and come help us here!"
Your family were all cooing and whistling when you got back inside, walking hand in hand as if you didn't want to be separated even for a second. But then Yena forced you to help packing the souvenirs while Seongwoo was called to have a fitting for his suit, so you weren't him for the rest of the day. Even so, you didn't fail to notice him looking at you worriedly from time to time.
Somehow, that small gesture made you happy, too happy that you didn't want this to end.
***
"Y/N, are you sleeping?" Seongwoo asked suddenly when you both were already lying down in your room; you're on the bed and he's on the couch.
"Yes," you answered, not wanting to have to face him when you were alone with him. You were afraid that he would notice your feelings for him when you slipped up or something.
"You know you can tell me anything, right?" he asked, sitting up. "We've been best friends for 10 years, I think you should already know by now that I can be trusted." He attempted to joke, but it only broke your heart even more, being reminded that he's only your best friend and it would stay that way.
You also sat up on your bed, shaking your head. The moment you saw his worried face under the dim light from the window, you had to hold back your tears. You said in a shaky voice, "I can't." You can't know that I'm in love with you. I don't want to lose you.
"Well, okay then. Good night, Y/N," Seongwoo said quietly, looking very hurt because you refused to tell him anything, because you didn't trust him.
You felt awful when you saw his face and you decided to just forget about this whole fake dating thing for now and make him feel better. He didn't deserve to be treated like this when he didn't know a thing about your feelings. He's still a dear friend to you, even if he's not your boyfriend. So you asked, "Seongwoo, can you come over here?"
Seongwoo was looking at you, searching for uncertainty, and when he didn't find it, he asked, "Are you sure?"
You nodded. Seongwoo hesitantly walked over to you, climbing onto the bed to join you. He pulled the covers over the two of you and you scooted closer to him, snuggling up to him and resting your head on his chest while he wrapped his arm around you. It felt really warm and comfortable being close to him. You would give anything to stay like this with him forever.
For the first time in a while, you finally had a good night sleep.
***
On your fifth day in Jeju, the wedding preparation was done and it was free time until the d-day. Your family were planning to go to the beach together, but weirdly, Seongwoo asked you to go with him to somewhere else instead, only the two of you.
After the others left the cottage, you frowned at Seongwoo. "Seongwoo, what's the point of pretending if they're not going to see us anyway?"
Seongwoo shrugged. "We can show them our photos."
You still found this weird, but you went along with his idea in the end. And it was the best. You had a lot of fun with him, taking a stroll around the island and taking beautiful photos like how couples usually did. You were beyond happy that you didn't stop smiling all day long. This was what you'd ever wanted, a date with the boy you loved. You hoped that time would stop here.
At the night after your wonderful date with Seongwoo, you two cuddled like usual before you slept, talking about things. He was watching you telling funny stories about Yena and Jisung when he suddenly stopped you.
"Can I kiss you?" Seongwoo asked, his eyes never leaving yours. He was gazing at you fondly, just like how he did when you were in front of your family, which was weird because there were only the two of you here. There's no need for him to act that way.
"Nobody's looking, Seongwoo," you said, raising a brow in confusion.
Seongwoo seemed serious as he said, "I don't care. I just want to kiss you so badly right now I can barely hold myself back."
A glimmer of hope sparked inside you. You could see his loving eyes and feel the sincerity in his words. Now you could hope, right? There might be a chance he really loved you, right? There's no other reason why he did this otherwise.
Feeling hopeful and elated, you nodded sheepishly. And with that, Seongwoo closed the gap between you and pressed his lips against yours, kissing you softly. You pulled him closer to you with your arms around his neck. You didn't stop kissing him until you were breathless and pulled away to fill your lungs with air. But Seongwoo kissed you again, this time more passionately. His hands were carressing your cheeks and going down to stop on your waist. After the heated make-out session, he pulled away to catch his breath.
"I want you," Seongwoo said breathlessly.
Seeing how he looked fondly at you, you decided to believe him. So you nodded.
***
A knock on the door woke you up from your sleep. It was still early in the morning and you groaned that you beautiful sleep was disturbed. When you’re about to move to open the door, you realized that you were wearing nothing and Seongwoo was sleeping next to you, also wearing nothing with his hand wrapped around you. You blushed, remembering what happened last night.
Then you heard the knock again. So you groaned, reluctant to leave your bed, before carefully moving his hand away from you. You hastily grabbed one of the clothes scattered on the floor and threw it on. Yawning, you opened the door to see Yena.
Yena was about say something but then she stopped herself, focusing her eyes on your neck and your clothes instead. You traced her gaze with your eyes and blushed hard as you realized you’re only wearing Seongwoo’s giant hoodie. You shyly covered your neck with your hand to uselessly hide the bite marks that Yena had obviously seen.
Smirking, Yena nudged your stomach with her elbow. “Wild night?”
Your cheeks reddened and changed the subject. “It’s early. What do you need?”
Yena laughed out loud. “It’s my wedding day, Y/N. How could you forget? Seongwoo must be really amazing that-”
“Stop it, Yena! I’m sorry, okay?” you said hurriedly. Your cheeks must be as red as tomato right now.
“It’s fine. I can relate.” Yena winked at you. “Just wake your boyfriend up. I’ll be waiting downstairs.”
You climbed back onto the bed after she left your room and gently shook Seongwoo’s shoulder. “Seongwoo, wake up. Time to get ready.”
Seongwoo slowly opened his eyes, smiling as he saw you. “Morning, babe.”
“Morning,” you greeted him, returning his smile.
He gave you an affectionate look, melting you into a puddle. “You look great on my hoodie.”
“Thanks,” you said sheepishly.
Seongwoo called you babe even if nobody could hear you. You felt more hopeful the longer you saw how he treated you even when nobody’s around. Were you wrong to feel that you had a chance? Did his sweet gestures really mean something?
To find out whether you’re right or wrong, you determined to confess your feelings to him tonight after the wedding. You could no longer hide your feelings to him after all of this. And your greedy self didn’t want to stay as friends when you knew there’s hope for you.
***
The wedding was going really well and all of you were having the time of your life. Everyone seemed happy, especially Yena and Jisung. Seeing your cousin and friend happy made you even happier. You wished that you would get to have a wonderful love life like them.
When the party was almost over, you’re ready to confess. So you went to search for Seongwoo around the restaurant where the wedding party took place and you finally found him sitting on the bench at the park, talking on the phone. You approached him and planned to wait for him until he finished the call. But what you heard froze you on the spot.
“Sorry, babe.” You heard him talk on the phone. “I’m just really busy lately and I’m not in town now. Yeah, a friend’s wedding. Don’t worry, I’ll come for your party next week and we can have fun. See you, babe.”
You remained still even after Seongwoo hung up the phone and spotted you standing near him.
“Oh, hey,” Seongwoo called, gesturing at you to sit next to him on the bench. “Didn’t know you’re here. Having fun?”
However, you were now too angry and too upset to even fake a smile. “Who’s that?” Your voice sounded cold and harsh, filled with rage.
Seongwoo frowned, but answered anyway. “Just one of my hookups. What’s wrong?”
You scoffed and yelled in anger, “What’s wrong? All of this is wrong! Are you saying that after this you’re just going to go back as a fuckboy you are and fuck every girl you meet? Then what am I? One of your hookups too?”
Widening his eyes in shock, Seongwoo jumped to his feet and walked over to you. “What? Of course not! You’re different from them!”
“Then explain to me,” you demanded. “How am I different from them?”
“You’re my best friend of 10 years, Y/N,” Seongwoo said gently as he reached over to you.
You laughed bitterly, stepping back a step. “Wrong answer, Seongwoo. Friends don’t fuck.”
Seongwoo ran his fingers through his hair, looking desperate. “You know I don’t do relationships, Y/N.”
“Then why did you do that?” Your tears started rolling down your cheeks. “Why did you agree to be my fake boyfriend? Why did take me to a date? Why did you kiss me when no one’s around? Why did you…” you choked. “Why did you sleep with me? Why?”
Seongwoo opened his mouth and closed it again for a few times, at a loss for words. “I… I don’t know, Y/N. I’m sorry.”
Your body started shaking. “Don’t you dare apologize to me, Seongwoo! Don’t you dare make all of this seem like a mistake to you!”
Panicked, Seongwoo took a step closer to you. “No, of course it’s not a mistake, Y/N. I want to do all that with you. Believe me. I want to. I just don’t know why.”
“You don’t know why,” you repeated with a sigh. “Do you know how much I love you, Seongwoo? Ever since our first grade of high school, I’ve been madly in love with you. Can you imagine how much pain I’ve gone through? Watching the guy I love play around with different girls everytime? It hurts, Seongwoo. It fucking hurts. It’s been 10 years. I don’t think I’ll be able to stand watching you with another girl again. I’m done.”
“I’m sorry, Y/N. I really am sorry. I love you too, but…” Seongwoo hesitated before continuing. “… I’m not ready.”
“Well, then this means goodbye. I think we should stop seeing each other. I can’t go back being your friend again. Goodbye, Seongwoo.”
Without waiting for his response, you hurried back into the restaurant and made up some excuses so that you could go back home sooner than the others. You managed to book the last flight of the night and reassured your family you didn’t need any company.
With heart shattering into tiny pieces, you flew back to Seoul, thinking how stupid you were for believing that Seongwoo would be willing to change for you. You should have known that he would never be yours.
a/n: okay this is messed up. And long. I’m sorry. I hope this is good and angsty enough. Tell me what you think! Every feedback is appreciated!
update: read the next part here.
#wanna one#wanna one scenarios#wanna one imagines#wanna one fluff#wanna one angst#ong seongwoo#ong seongwoo scenarios#ong seongwoo imagines#ong seongwoo fluff#ong seongwoo angst#produce 101#produce 101 scenarios#produce 101 imagines
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Thoughts while reading Acowar.
Mind the swearing and spoilers kids. -2 years before the wall? Wait is this like a baby bat Rhys POV? -oh God this field isn't a nice place. Kinda like it tho. - omfg 6 High Fae... 6, to defeat one Illyrian... damn. - Rhys is so protective if his brothers it's killing me. -AGH PART ONE HERE I FUCKING COME. -Yes Feyre, burn this shit. -Already thinking about that wingspan Feyre? Can't blame ya. - Ugh Tamlin no can you not enter this moment just yet. Ugh Lucian I'm fucking watching you. -Oh for Fuck sake I gotta read about Ianthe soon to? -ugh I just want some smut and it's only page nine. -Feyre you can roll your eyes. God knows I am. - Oh hey Ianthe, go Fuck yourself Ianthe. -You definitely revived something from Rhys hands Feyre, but it was far more pleasurable than torture. -Lucian I won't ship you and Elaine. But please, for the love of God, kill Ianthe. -Oh hell fucking ni, Jurian, go fucking Fuck yourself and stay the Fuck away. -Oh snap, Nesta and Elaine already so powerful they can drain the cauldron. -Oh snap, Feyre laying down these facts. Also that's how I spell Miryaim's name. -Feyre you savage. -Jurian, talk about Elaine like that again and I will kill you. -Oh Fuck off Ianthe, I've read enough of you. -Okay Lucian, my heart is softening towards you. -God I missed you Alis. -Damn summer solstice is giving me goosebumps. -Rhys you are giving me life. -Uh Oh, Tamlin's getting jealous of friendship. -YOU FUCKING BURNED THEIR WINGS. -Ahhh Feyre you also cringing about Elaine being fucked by a fire blooded male?? Let me introduce to Azriel. He's far better in my opinion. -All these painting titles... we're they like, working title for Acowar. -Rhysand you get that tongue to work. -Also Tam you prick. -TAMLIN YOU MOTHERFUCKING PRICK HOW WOULD YOU LIKE A WHIPPING. -God Alis, my bae. -Feyre slit her throat. -Yes Feyre Fuck this bitch up. -Oh these twins. Can you fucking not. - Go Lucian Go. -Bring on Part Two. -"He can get in line," Feyre getting a list of people who wanna kill her to rivals Aelins. -Oh for Fuck sake, everything was going so well, until Lucian's brothers showed up. -OMG CASSIAN YOU'RE BACK. -AZRIEL MY CUPCAKE. -"There's no such thing as a High Lady," bitch excuse me. -Cassian you melt my stone cold heart. -Mor my darling. -OMG IT'S HAPPENING, RHYS IS COMING. -Amren, boo. Hru? -Lucian being called a girl, I'm dying -AGH RHYS. -"Go find somewhere else to be," I know what that means. -The smut was worth it. -Oh I missed the banter of my baby bats. -And Rhys' swearing begins. -Cassian sunning his wings. I wonder if a certain Nesta sees. -Cassian trying to be chill around Nesta is my new aesthetic. -Nesta reads romance. Hell Yes. -"You come between a male and his mate, Nesta Archeron, and you're going to learn about the consequences the hard way." Trying to foreshadow something there Cassian? I Ship. -No is mentioning the sorrow and longing in Cassian eyes, Feyre, for the same reason no one mentioned it when Rhys looked at you all those months ago. -Reading about Elaine is painful. -I'm relating to Elaine and all those open curtains too much... shit. -Cassian you're to precious. -I missed the Amren/Cassian banter so much. -Shit Mor is getting pissed. -Feyre keeps calling Rhys mate and I'm feeling bad for the Australian readers. -"Because I can't stay away" well Fuck me if they ain't mates. -Nesta looking as Cassian like he's the only one in the room. -Damn right there was a reason Lucian wore a fox mask. -Idk what to write but the nessian at pg.203. gahhhhhhh. -"Surely Nesta wasn't anything he couldn't handle," omfg Feyre, it's hilarious of you to think that. -Feyre were you not there for Acomaf. He was very clearly, cocky then. -Library sex? I'm in. -oh, so no library sex. -To the Bone Carver we go. RIP. -Oh so, the Carver, and the Wearer are- I'd be shocked only I read that spoiler. -Oh so the Carver is a mirror type of perosn? What even is a mirror person? Is it his kink? -Oh Nesta having death powers. -Feyre constantly calling Rhys mate tho. -Tbh all I wanna know is who or what the carver appeared to Cassian. -Everyone in this book be complementing Rhys good taste. -Ah Az and Elaine be starting. Az be carrying his ship. -Poor Cassian. Nesta will come around, I promise, I read the spoiler. -YES AZRIEL SHOW HER THE GARDEN. I'VE READ THIS SPOILER PAGE SO MUCH AND NOW IT'S MINE. -You know, I wrote a fanfiction about Az and Elaine in a garden and her calling his scars pretty. They kissed in it. -"Azriel isn't the ravishing type," Rhys you should read the fanfic I wrote about him. He loves to ravish. -omg Cassian calming Nesta- ugh how many more pages until this kiss? -Az, sunning your wings for Elaine? How scandalous. -"Why not make them mates?" Feyre babe I'm asking the same question. -FEYRE YOU SHIP ELRIEL TOO? Oh sweetie I love you more than Cassian rn. -Rhysand, let Feyre play matchmaker. -I was about to bash Kier for insulting Az, but Az got this shit. -Oh not this fucking Eris bitch again. -Rhys the Fuck you playing at? -Okay, ngl I know Mor is gay but those Eris know? Ffs. -Okay everyone is fighting and I'm more intrigued than I should be. -D'as Nessian. -Double d'aw Elriel. -Pg.303 and back to sassy Az. -Sassy Az KS giving me life. -It was at page 306 that I realised I was in love with Az. -Nephelle's be giving me goosebumps. -Yes bathtub scent with Rhys. -Oh it's actually a massage scene? I'm in. -Feyre are you trying to start a war? Cassian flying with Nesta. Dammit who am I kidding I wanna see that. -Yes Az, help Elaine in the garden. I am sailing this ship. -Nesta watching Cassian lick his fingers and I'm like, now imagine that kissing elsewhere. -Nes? I ship. -Some shit happening in the library. -ohhhh so we finally reached the part where people wonder if Elaine is a seer. -Yes Feyre, put Elaine's riddles together. -Okay that scene was intense but Nessian at the end was calming. -"Amren on the hunt," a novel by sjm. -Damn Az, took you awhile but bravo, she's a seer. God it couldn't be any easier to love you. -Lucian I swear to God if you die, looking for this sixth queen, I will kill you. -Also where is my Suriel. -Shit Alis don't die. -oh FFS, look, "king" of Hybren, old buddy. If you'd kindly fuck off. Only it's late, I don't need these plot twists. -Look, "King," I'd pay good money to see you try and take Feyre. -Rhys if you could destroy my upcoming exams the way you did those ships, I'd be grateful. -pg.379, more smut, hell yes. -pg.381, Nesta all concerned. -The amount of sex feysand are having. That wingspan must be truly impress you Feyre darling. -So Cassian is terrible at complements. -Ah yes boys, bringing up that wingspan again. -This Nessian tho. -"she threatened to freeze my balls off," Kallias, Viviane, welcome to my heart. -I'm in love with Viviane. -God sake, Tamlin Fuck off. -Tamlin, let me tell you, Rhys and Feyre have fucked so much I'm sure he could recount every noise she is capable of making. -Fucking shut up Tamlin. -Eris if you'd kindly shut the Fuck up too, it'd be a pleasure. -Pg.438, Nesta, damn, *blows kisses.* -nvm of 439, Go Feyre. Slay. -Helion.... wait... look I can't go around loving all these people. It makes me look like I have a heart. -You know I'd be surprised at Lucian being a whole, some air of dawn court, but I already read that spoiler. -Okay mor is gay why is- you know what, never mind, I give up. -Oh. Oh Fuck. -lol, I'm so tired, whenever I hear the wall mentioned all I can think of is humpty dumpty. -"Don't even start," Nesta, sweetie, we've been shipping this since the last book. -Part three here I come. -btw this is still the same day for me. I've read up to part three in a few hours. It's two in the morning. Never underestimate a fangirl deprived of her smut. -Jurian just has to show up, doesn't he. -idk who I am to believe anymore. -I wanna say Fuck this shit I'm out. But I am so in. -So am I meant to trust Jurian or not. -Damn Tarquin. -Nessian will kill me quicker than these plot twists. -Ayyy more shut, god I love you Sarah. -Yes, the Suriel is coming into play bitches. I'd been surprised by what happens only I've seen this spoiler too. -Okay first thing first, Ianthe please Fuck off Secondly rip Suriel 2K17. -Cassian what happened. Nesta please. I know the ending and shit but tf happened. -Feyre be joining up these dots about which way Mor floats. -This, Varian, Amren thing, yeah I'd like another five books of it. -Awww, Az, you're to sweet and selfless. -I'm so tired IDK how to feel anymore. -Oh greatttt, Feyre got hit with an arrow. Any more plot twists. -Wait Tamlin? Fuck, ugh. -d'aw, Elaine kissed his cheek. -it's four in the morning. I have less than one hundred pages left. -Shit. -Fucking hell Elaine stab them bastard. -Also Nessian hell yes. -Also...wait what's happening. -Rhysand you fucking bastard it's five in the morning don't do this to me. I know you live god dammit don't fucking do this. -oh thank fuck that's all settled. -This book. These plot twists. These ships. It's all so heart wrenching and shit. -Wait is she flying over Velaris in her lingerie. -Fuck it's half five in the morning. I read this book in under 24 hours. I need to sleep. *hours later* -omfg I need to read this shit again. It was so good. The High Lords, the banter, the near death experiences. The romance. The sass. Sarah you queen. -if the at least the novellas don't have nessian or Elriel tho I may be tempted to cry. And that, my friends, is a snippet of the roller coaster if thoughts and emotions I went through. I was too tired to cry during it but my heart was successfully ripped out a few times.
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92 questions/random questions/8 things tag~
hello friends !!! i’ve done the first two tags before but it’s been quite a while so ?? let’s see if i can come up w new responses i guess?? also these all have similar-ish questions so i thought i’d combine them so i don’t clog up everyone’s dashes~
tagged by (ﾉ´ヮ`)ﾉ*: ･ﾟ(ilya so dang much my favorite muffins)
92 questions: mariel! @jaehyunscult kelby! @yooncheoly and claudia! @s-lay-ing
random questions: kolbo! @yooncheoly ommo! @strawberryboo and cloodoo! @s-lay-ing
eight things: em! @seoulscapes mj! @jungnoir and kat! @atshinee
i’m going to tag @everyonesabiaswrecker @hoshi-ssi @king-hao @moonhyook @taeismyking @honestlay @yoonsunha @amessence @kylamassie1 @peachesandkili and also the beans who tagged me above!! you can do one of the ones you didn’t tag me in hehe(≧◡≦)
you guys can choose whichever tags you want!! or all of them ? idk it’s basically either long, easy or creative so whatever you feel like doing… or do none of them!! that works too! if you don’t want to be tagged just let me knowwww also you rlly don’t have to read this whole thing it is so damn long… but w/o further ado…
92 questions
the last…
1. drink: water
2. phone call: my grandma !
3. text message: “THEBOP OF THE SUMMER” (sic)
4. song you listened to: ‘love paint (every afternoon)’ by NU’EST started playing before i got out of the car last night… WAIT I JUST REMEMBERED I WATCHED MX’S NEWTON THIS MORNING OH MY GOD THE BOP OF THE SUMMER THAT’S WHAT THE TEXT WAS ABT BTW
5. time you cried: hmmmm not monsta x surprisingly ? but we have some rlly spicy food in LA and @everyonesabiaswrecker @taeismyking and i had to hide our eyes from the waiter lol
have you ever…
6. dated someone twice: nooo (as i said last time i’ve never dated so these are all no’s so you can skip around a bit i suppose)
7. been cheated on: nooo
8. kissed someone and regretted it: nooo
9. lost someone special: yea
10. been depressed: nope
11. gotten drunk and thrown up: drinking makes ya do bad stuff kids
list three favorite colors (12-15)…
grey, light blue nd light green !
in the last year have you…
15. made new friends: yeAH SO MANY! irl and online i’m so thankful for everyone i’ve met~~ since i started uni i was rlly nervous abt meeting people and although i have one (1) new friend irl (shoutout to my main main main kat @atshinee literally where would i be w/o you i probably woulda gotten stuck at camp bc of the hail storm) i’ve met countless lovely individuals online that i am forever grateful for;;; now i’m being all sappy someoNE STOP ME
16. fallen out of love: nooo
17. laughed until you cried: almost everyday~~
18. found out someone was talking about you: oh yea
19. met someone who changed you: YES
20. found out who your true friends are: yeah!
21. kissed someone on your facebook list: nooooooooooooooope
general stuff
22. how many of your facebook friends do you know in real life: idk like probably actually 80% but they’re not people i talk to now ? (kat still yells at me abt my answer last time)
23. do you have any pets: I GOT TWO CATS TOM TOM AND MYSTERY THEY ARE ADORABLE BEANS ND I LIKE TO BRAG ABT THEM SO ASK ME FOR PICS
24. do you want to change your name: i like my name a lot tbh (there’s so many endless nickname possibilities honestly)
25. what did you do for your last birthday: i got gelato w two of my closest frandssss and also listened to nct dream like the whole day it was the best
26. what time did you wake up: um m m i think 9? yesterday i went to bed at 3:30 and woke up at 7:30 so i slept in more today lol
27. what were you doing at midnight last night: trying to read a soonhoon fic from eep and messaging ivy:D
28. name something you cannot wait for: uM IDK EVERYTHING I WAS WAITING FOR ALREADY HAPPENED i guess just moving back to school and starting classes??? i’m so anxious ugh
29. when was the last time you saw your mom: 4 ? hours ago ?
30. what is one thing you wish you could change about your life: um idk i think i’m pretty blessed to be completely honest
31. what are you listening to right now: there’s construction going on in the distance idk what they’re doing but it is LOUD
32. have you ever talked to a person named tom: i’m so shook people haven’t talked to any toms i’ve met so many i don’t undeRSTAND
33. something that is getting on your nerves: ignorance *finger guns*
34. most visited website: tumblr (i haven’t been on youtube much lately cry)
35. elementary school: yeahhh
36. high school: yeahhh
37. college: yeahhh
38. hair color: blonde
39. long or short hair: it’s so long rn i’m constantly choking on it
40. do you have a crush on someone: crushes are for noobs
41. what do you like about yourself: “everything, love yourself.” -kat
42. piercings: ears but i never wear them
43. blood type: idk my parents are both AB so my mom says we’re that too but mom that’s not how genetics work
44. nickname: i have so many but my most common one is mir~ i answer to anything tho
45. relationship status: engaged to jeon wonwoo
46. zodiac sign: cancer~
47. pronouns: she/her
48. favorite tv show: game of thrones or below deck (watch it it’s a reality show abt a yacht crew it’s so entertaining)
49. tattoos: nope i’m too indecisive
50. righty or lefty: right
first…
51. surgery: i had surgery junior year of high school
52. piercing: did they not already ask this oh jk this is first well i still only have ears
53. best friend: in the womb bitchhh (-8 months would be the official age)
54. sport: i think karate ? my dad is super sporty tho so sister and i tried every sport known to man
55. vacation: probably washington bc i have a lot of family there
56. pair of sneakers: literally who knows this tho
right now…
57. eating: nothing
58. drinking: now i’m drinking tea
59. i’m about to: eat a bagel maybe
60. listening to: good luck by aoa (yessss my girls)
61. waiting for: jordyn to get off work so i can see her new dorm:D
62. do you want kids: i always have
63. do you want to get married: i don’t really know marriage seems so outdated…
64: what career do you want: journalist (yay)
which is better…
65. hugs or kisses: hugs!
66. lips or eyes: eyes!
67. shorter or taller: i don’t have much preference but i’m tall and i like being tall
68. older or younger: i don’t really care bc some older people are really immature and some younger people are really mature so~
70. nice arms or nice stomach: i really really don’t care
71. sensitive or loud: these honestly aren’t even antonyms
72. hook up or relationship: relationship
73. troublemaker or hesitant: i’ve never been a troublemaker so ?
have you ever…
74. kissed a stranger: nooo
75. drank hard liquor: neh ?
76. lost glasses/lenses: i have above average vision boiiiii
77. turned someone down: i mean;;;; i think most people have at least indirectly
78. had sex on the first date: nooo
79. broken someone’s heart: i really doubt it lol
80. had your heart broken: jeon wonwoo breaks my heart daily
81. been arrested: nooo
82. cried when someone died: yeahh
83. fallen for a friend: no
do you believe in…
84. yourself: YEAH I GOT THIS! YOU GOT THIS! WE ALL GOT THIS!
85. miracles: maybe ?
86. love at first sight: not even a little bit
87. santa claus:
LOOK AT SOONYOUNG I’M LAUGHING
88. kiss on the first date: i mean i don’t see why not
89. angels: maybe ?
other…
90. current best friends name: sister n em n kat n cass n jords n val :3
91. eye color: grey ish
92. favorite movie: the proposal was my favorite movie for so long;;; i liked moonlight a lot too go see it
random questions
dude i fucking forgot abt this one i thought i was done fuck (why is this font so tiny)
relationship status: single for 19 years bishhhhhhhh
favorite color: grey!! but i’ve been feelin orange lately hmmmm
lipstick or chapstick: i like tinted lip balm:) but i even use vaseline sometimes try it okay it makes yo lips so soft
last song you listened to: well i already said so i’ll do what’s stuck in my head rn: coffee by bts (it’s so good i get such calming vibes from it)
last movie you watched: BABY DRIVER it was so ffffff good 100/10 would rec~ the car chases were so cool dude also ansel elgort is such a cutie
top 3 characters: i’ll as april ludgate from parks n rec (are you happy jords), celaena from throne of glass, ndddd risa koizumi from lovcom:)
top 3 ships: jejun ! soonwoo ! MARKHYUCK(ﾉ´ヮ`)ﾉ*: ･ﾟ
books you are currently reading: rnnnn i’m STILL reading heir of fire (don’t worry cass i will finish it in time)
top 5 musicals: mulan is endlessly iconic okay, hsm, phantom of the opera, the sound of music nd mama mia !
eight things
last movie watched: baby driver hoo hoo
last song listened to: me gustas tu bitchhhhh
last book read: Crown of Midnight still oops sorry cass i’m so damn slow these days
last thing eaten: fig newtons (buy newton by monsta x on itunes)
if you could be anywhere right now, where would you be: wherever @atshinee is because i want to support her for her test but i know i would probably just distract her:((((((
a fictional character you would hang out with for the day: probably dorian from throne of glass bc he just seems like such a lovable dork i want to give him a big ole hug he needs it
what fictional world/universe would you want to spend a week in: i used to be obsessed w the series Gregor the Overlander as a kid and i’d really want to spend a day there that would be so awesome esp the one where they travel through the one rainforest jungle… but also Harry Potter bc i rlly want to go to hogwarts and just;;; look around? it’s so pretty and i want to see all the paintings and staircases and the people it’d be great
last video game played: i’ve never rlly played video games… i used to play the sims does that count rip
well it’s finally frickin done i doubt anyone bared w me for this trainwreck…….. i’m so tired now will i even do more of these today jk i gotta i am so behind but no selfie tags i look trash
#tagged#bye#this was so long#time to sleep#jk#i'm not that tired#just ded#thank you guys for tagging me!!!#i think that was everyone???#some of those are a bit old rip#who even read this like wow that's dedication#it's like;;; not even rly funny either so rip#only do this if you want to ofc!!#cries bc the random qs was the first tag jen bean tagged me in:(((#mir moos
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REVIEW
Naughty Stranger by Stacey Kennedy
Dangerous Love #1
Sometimes the perfect book comes my way just when I need it and today there could not have been a better book for me to read. I fell in love with the characters, supporting characters and town as they came together to welcome Peyton Kerr and then support and protect her when bad things began to happen. The dynamics between Peyton and Boone Knight sizzled and their chemistry was instantaneous and undeniable. They were perfect together and reading their story made me happy...in spite of all that happened to make it at times rather suspenseful.
Peyton was someone I could see myself being once in my life. I have been an RN and young and in love. I have not experienced the heartbreak that Peyton did but can empathize. And Boone...talk about a heartthrob and perfect book boyfriend! I loved that they truly saw and got to know one another, shared and cared and all the rest. I enjoyed the mystery of who was out to kill people and how the police followed the clues. I loved meeting Asher and Rhett – Boone’s friends and colleagues on the police force. Kinsley and Remy were great girl friends for Peyton and always there for her.
I think one thing that came through to me in this book is that we really should make the most of every moment we have because that is all any of us are sure of. Live and love and experience life even when it is dark because even in the dark there is usually a bit of light.
Did I enjoy this book? Definitely!
Would I like to read more in this series? I can’t wait!
Thank you to NetGalley and Hachette-Forever (Grand Central Publishing) for the ARC – This is my honest review.
5 Stars
https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/42365674-naughty-stranger
BLURB
From USA Today bestselling author Stacey Kennedy comes a thrilling, sexy romance about a woman in danger and a small-town police detective who will do anything to keep her safe.
After a sudden tragedy blew her world apart, Peyton Kerr fled her big city career and started over in Stoney Creek, Maine. So far, she’s loving small-town life–no one knows about her past, and her easy flirtation with Boone Knight gives her a reason to smile. But then someone is murdered in Peyton’s store, and her quiet, anonymous existence is instantly destroyed. To make matters worse, Boone–a police detective–is assigned to the case, and Peyton knows she can’t keep him at arm’s length any longer. She’s resisted the simmering heat between them–but now this gorgeous man is promising to keep her safe–and satisfied…
Boone Knight doesn’t want the complications of a relationship. But when he volunteers to protect his town’s newest–and sexiest–resident, he finally admits he’d like to explore their sizzling attraction. And after one incredible night, everything changes for Boone. Peyton is sweeter–and braver–than anyone he’s ever met, and with her in his arms, everything makes sense. He just needs to convince her to trust him enough to reveal her secrets, or risk losing her to a merciless killer who seems to grow bolder with each passing day.
EXCERPT
http://www.staceykennedy.com/naughty-stranger-sneak-peek/
The loud rumble of the baby blue Volkswagen Beetle quieted as Peyton Kerr pressed against the brake pedal. Stoney Creek’s Main Street was cute and quaint, with boutique shops lining the skinny road where cars were parked without much space in between them. Through her open window, she tasted the salt in the air coming off the Atlantic Ocean and drove by a young man packing large containers with live lobsters into the back of his old Chevy pickup. On the next corner was a ticket booth for the lighthouse boat tours. Stoney Creek was a far cry from the bright lights, skyscrapers, and pungent busy city aroma that Seattle carried, but it was also a most welcome change.
People came to Stoney Creek for the picturesque views of the coastline on the bay. They climbed the mountain that overlooked the town and the ocean. They ate fresh fish at the restaurants near the marina, walked the beaches, and sailed the open waters. Peyton came for those reasons too. Well, and a laundry list of others, including that Stoney Creek was the last vacation spot she visited with her late husband, Adam, just over a year ago. She’d been her happiest here. They swam the waters, ate too much, laughed hard enough to cry. That’s what brought her back to the small Maine town. She’d left Seattle a heartbroken twenty-six-year-old widow, and she returned to Stoney Creek determined to find happiness here again.
Her heart clenched at the reminder of all she’d lost, threatening to expose all the weak spots. She forced the emotion back with a deep swallow, refusing to go to the dark place again. The past was behind her. That’s where it’d stay.
Up ahead, Peyton recognized the dark-haired slender woman waiting beneath a withered store sign as Isabella, her real estate agent. Peyton squeezed her used—but new to her—car into one of the parking spots.
Before she could even get out, Isabella was already at the passenger-side door. “You made it.”
“I’m so glad to finally be here.” Peyton smiled, turning off the car and exiting. She’d done a nine-hour flight with a layover in Philadelphia, then landed at the Portland International Jetport. That’s where she found her new car, which she thought suited small-town living. After a good night’s sleep in Portland, she drove three hours, taking the scenic drive along the coast to her fresh start. “Thanks for meeting me.”
“It’s no problem. I’ve got your keys here for both your house and your shop.” Isabella reached into her purse, then handed Peyton two sets of keys. “You’re all set to move in and open shop.” She handed her a slew of business cards. “I’ve given you some names of handymen around town if you want to give the store a makeover.”
Peyton glanced up at the old sign again and took in the cracked windowpane and peeling white paint on the exterior. Both the shop and her new lake house needed work, but so did she. “Great,” Peyton said, feeling like a fish out of water. “Thank you so much for everything. You’ve been so helpful.”
“Call if you need anything.” Isabella smiled and, shocking Peyton, threw her arms around her like they were friends. “You’re going to love it here.” With a final wave, she was off, practically skipping her way down the sidewalk.
Okay, so the people were the nice, touchy-feely sort.
Peyton turned back to her new shop and exhaled the breath she hadn’t known she’d been holding. Set in a historic redbrick building, in between Whiskey Blues, a jazz club on the right, and an empty store on the left, was her little lingerie shop with the French-style storefront. Two large display windows hugged the dark maple door with the original brass handle. The store might not be much in size, but the charm of the shop made up for it.
It was also 100 percent hers. Paid for with the insurance money from Adam’s death. Two weeks ago, in her lowest of lows, a Facebook ad for the Stoney Creek B&B, where she and Adam had stayed at when they’d vacationed there, had popped up on her screen. After that, she’d fallen down the Internet hole until she discovered the local lingerie shop was for sale. Everything from there happened so fast; she’d up and bought the shop on a total whim. Because if anything could make her feel happy again, it would be found in the place she felt the happiest. She also kept thinking that if she could make other women feel beautiful, then she’d feel that way again too.
This past year, she had no reason to wear gorgeous lingerie, let alone find a reason to get out of bed. She wore cotton bras and underwear for comfort. But she’d had a blast selling lingerie during her nursing school days. She couldn’t help but think that buying a lingerie shop was a good step forward to finding the fun parts of herself that had disappeared with Adam’s death.
Sure, she knew her mental state was hanging in the balance of her new life and her new shop. She couldn’t fail. Not because of the money. Adam had left her in good shape financially. But she couldn’t fail because this was all she had. There was nothing else giving her a purpose. And she was done playing the victim. She was also done simply surviving. She’d already been doing that in spades in Seattle. She wanted to breathe. To live.
And that’s why she’d left Seattle and her parents. She’d given up her nursing career in the ER at Seattle’s General Hospital, and she’d dumped every cent she received from Adam’s insurance money into this shop and her little house on the lake.
Was she crazy?
Oh, yeah, she was totally batshit nuts.
She glanced down at the house keys in her hand. All of her belongings would be shipped tomorrow, so tonight she planned to stay at the Stoney Creek B&B a couple blocks down Main Street.
“Are you the new owner?”
Peyton turned around, finding an older couple smiling at her. “Yes, I am.”
“Oh, so lovely to hear,” the woman said, her arm wrapped in her husband’s. “We need more young business owners coming in and keeping our downtown alive.” She offered her hand. “I’m Marjorie, and this is Joe.”
Peyton returned Marjorie’s handshake and then shook Joe’s hand. “It’s nice to meet you both. I’m Peyton.” When she drew her hand away, her stomach suddenly rumbled loudly. “I’m sorry about that. Apparently, I’m starving.”
Joe’s amber eyes crinkled with his warm smile. “The bar next door has one of the best fish sandwiches in town.”
“That sounds delicious.” Peyton returned the smile, feeling the tightness in her chest begin to dissolve. “I’ll be sure to check it out. Thanks.”
“Enjoy your evening, Peyton,” Marjorie said. With a final wave, they continued on their walk.
When Peyton’s stomach growled again, she headed for the bar, thinking a drink along with food sounded like the next best step forward. She didn’t see any parking signs, figuring she could leave her car there for the night.
She grabbed her purse from the car, locked the doors and entered the bar. From its original flagstone walls and restored burgundy velvet chairs to the gold accents, the bar was pure class. Four large crystal chandeliers gave the space a warm, inviting feel, and round tables surrounded the black shiny stage, where a man had his head bowed over the piano he played.
Peyton headed for the bar that had three men drinking beers. She hastily moved to the other side, keeping her distance from anyone of the opposite sex. Even the hot guy with the dark hair and muscular biceps who held her gaze, the side of his mouth curving sensually. Actually, especially because of that. She needed to find herself again, not find herself in anyone’s bed.
When she slid onto the stool, a friendly voice said, “You’re new here.”
Peyton glanced up, finding a slim, long-haired brunette wearing a black T-shirt that read whiskey blues across her chest. The bright pink lipstick she wore made her big blue eyes pop.
“Yup, I’m brand spanking new.” Peyton smiled, offering her hand. “I bought the store next door.”
“Did you?” The woman returned the handshake. “Well, that makes us friends already, then.”
Peyton laughed. “And here I was thinking making new friends was going to be hard.” She placed her hands back onto her purse. “I’m Peyton.”
“Kinsley,” the woman said, grabbing a martini glass. “Lucky for you, I own this place, which means I can call it a night and celebrate us being neighbors.” She gestured at the glass. “Chocolate martinis sound okay?”
“Sounds divine,” Peyton said, her mouth watering. She definitely wanted a fish sandwich, but a little liquid love first didn’t hurt. Besides, she hoped the drink would help dissolve the lump in her throat. She questioned her sanity, uprooting her life and leaving her family behind. But she couldn’t have stayed in Seattle another day. Seattle belonged to her and Adam. She needed to belong without him. Adam was gone. He wasn’t coming back.
Kinsley finished pouring two glasses, then held hers up. “To new friendships and new beginnings.”
Peyton lifted her glass. “Cheers to that!”
Before long, one glass turned into two glasses, and Peyton’s belly felt warm, her smile easy, the fish sandwich long forgotten. She spoke of Seattle, leaving out all the personal parts, keeping those secrets locked up tight. And Kinsley shared life in Stoney Creek, the fun places to go, the sights to see.
“I make a damn fine martini,” Kinsley said, licking the chocolate flakes off her upper lip. She placed her empty glass behind the bar. “Give me a couple minutes, then we’ll Uber it to this new house of yours on the lake and grab some takeout on the way. I gotta see this place. It sounds amazing.”
Sure, Kinsley was a stranger, but something about her laidback way put Peyton at ease. “Deal.” Peyton took another sip of her drink, watching Kinsley leave the bar and move into the back room, feeling happier than she’d felt in an entire year.
Something warm suddenly brushed against Peyton’s arm, making her shiver. She turned as Mr. Crooked Smile sat on the stool next to her. He was tall—around six foot two, pure muscle, an all-around fine specimen of a man. His intense blue eyes that appeared nearly gray in the low lighting held hers, and his five-o’clock shadow brought her attention to his totally kissable lips. He wore a navy-blue T-shirt that stretched across his chest, showcasing hard biceps, and jeans that hugged his thick thighs.
“Hi.” He grinned, voice as smooth as melted chocolate. And she really liked chocolate. A lot.
She took in the hard masculine lines of his face, softened a little by the strands of dark hair falling across his forehead. “I’m new here, opening the shop next door,” she babbled.
“Ah, the lingerie shop,” he said, his eyes dancing at whatever was crossing her expression. “Tonight’s a celebration, then?”
God, she must have looked like she wanted to eat him. Well, she did, so whatever. Obviously, the martinis without food had been a terrible idea. “That’s right,” she said, lifting her chin, trying not to look as rattled by this guy or as tipsy as she felt.
His arm brushed against hers again—clearly intentional this time—and she shivered, hearing her own hitching breath. His gaze went red hot, those deep eyes turning darker, examining her deeper. She swallowed, trying to calm her puckering nipples and the building heat between her thighs.
What. The. Hell?
“Um, excuse me.” She slid off the stool and stumbled in the process. After she laughed at herself and hid her gaze from him, she beelined it toward the bathroom across the bar. Once inside, she turned on the water and placed her hands underneath to cool off. She looked into the mirror, finding her cheeks flushed, her eyes glossy and full of heat. Maybe those chocolate martinis had an aphrodisiac effect. Because . . . holy hell!
She stayed in the bathroom probably longer than necessary. When she came out, she nearly walked into Mr. Crooked Smile. He caught her by the waist to steady her, and when his hands tightened on her hips something overcame her, an emotion she could not control. His touch was warm and strong, and his potent stare pulled her in until she looked into his eyes intimately.
He arched an eyebrow. “All right?”
“Why are you waiting here for me?” she managed.
His smile was gentle and sweet, and on a big tough guy looked mouthwateringly delicious. “You’ve been in there a while. Feeling okay?”
She stared at him. For some reason she was immensely touched by his kindness, and she suddenly couldn’t remember all the reasons she didn’t want a man in her life. “God, you’re so hot.” She grabbed his face and kissed him. Passionately. With tongue.
A low masculine sound that tickled her in the best places rose from deep in his chest. Then her back hit the wall. Hard. Shock and desire flooded her as he threaded one hand into her hair, then claimed her mouth. Owned it, with every hard press of his lips and swirl of his tongue.
When she began nearly climbing up his body, a moment of clarity hit her, and she broke away with a gasp. “What in the hell are we doing?” she asked, staring at his mouth, and wanting desperately to have more of it. “You’re a stranger.” A naughty stranger.
“I believe you kissed me,” he said in a voice so low goose bumps rose on her arms, and a smile so sexy it should come with a warning label. “And were doing a fine job of it.”
“Ahem.”
Still in the man’s arms, Peyton turned, finding Kinsley staring at them with her arms folded.
“So,” Kinsley said with a sly smile. “I see you’ve met my brother, Boone.”
ABOUT THE AUTHOR
Stacey Kennedy is an outdoorsy, wine-drinking, nap-loving, animal-cuddling, USA Today bestselling romance author with a chocolate problem. She writes sexy contemporary romance full of heat and heart, including titles in her wildly hot Kinky Spurs, Club Sin, and Dirty Little Secrets. She lives in southwestern Ontario with her family and does most of her writing surrounded by lazy dogs. To keep in touch with Stacey, get updates right to your inbox at staceykennedy.com/newsletter/.
#Stacey Kennedy#Hachette#Forever Yours#Forever Grand Publishing#NetGalley#angerous Love 1#Romantic Suspense#Small Town Romance
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Pls pls pls do all the oc questions!!
jokes on you I was already doing that and planned on just putting it out there but now I can use this as an excuse,,hah someone wants to know thisI’m sorry for how long some parts got, I noticed how much I wrote on Célestin and tried to keep it down from then but that didn’t completely work,,,And actually I dare/tag you to do these too. I know that ain’t normal proceedure w ask memes but I do a thing called what I want
1. Your first OC ever?
I think my first oc was your typical mary sue, named Angel, whom I used for basically every fandom I got in then. I’ve since reworked her because I couldn’t leave her the mess she was lmao
2. Do you have a personal favourite among your OCs?
Not really, tho I have to admit I have some that I’m especially fond of, but that’s still like half of my ocs
3. Have you ever adopted a character or gotten a character from someone else?
Not a full character but a friend of mine made the design for Charlie years ago
4. A character you rarely talk about?Sadly that’d also be a couple of em, for example Eleonore or Otávio or my monster ocs
5. If you could make only one of your OCs popular/known, who would it be?
That’s a difficult one…Brist is pretty worked out and good so maybe him, or Eligos bc I’m proud of their design
6. Two OCs of yours that look alike despite not being related?
I’d never noticed it before this but Seth and Elijah oh geez
7. Are your OCs part of any story or stories?I have a bunch of ocs that are part of my own work, which I refer to as ‘Golden Empire’
8. Do you RP as any of your OCs? If you do, introduce one of your RP OCs here!
I privately rp w @spokoystviye, namely our ocs Regulus and Adelais. We used to do Gregory and Jason too but ever since we worked on the time it plays in that’s stopped lmao.
So Regulus it is: Regulus Whitlock, living in France during the French Revolution. He’s originally from England, where he grew up the son of a Blacksmith. Regulus is exceptionally tall for the time he lived in, very soft hearted and believes in “dressing like a gentleman,behave like a bastard”. Most part of his life he works as a Blacksmith from his shop, that he took over from his father after the man died. Regulus took on a ‘side job’ as a hunter, smart, a good shot and with a great need to help people. But he’s of too good nature, ending up taking in a Vampire of all things, despite better judgement, not able to leave the woman to her death.
9. Would you ever be willing to give any of your OCs to someone else?
I don’t think I could give an oc to a random person, that is one that I’ve worked w a lot. Just making a design and such for the purpose of giving it away in the first place would be fine
10. Introduce an OC with a complicated design?
Gerwyn is relatively complicated to draw solely because his base design is full body armor lmao. Besides him maybe Susanna and Nathanael since their design is hard to make it look accurate especially without colouring it
11. Is there any OC of yours you could describe as a “sunshine”?
Seth, definitely, he’s the most positive and sweet of all my Ocs
12. Name an OC that isn’t yours but who you like a lot
Both @bruhchantite and @spokoystviye have ocs I love, like Bruhs Arcana Oc Nien, whom I like a lot, and Leander has Adelais who’s a sweet baby deserving protection [also Adelean is hot shit]
13. Do you have any troublemaker OCs? There are quite a few I’d say lmao
But most of them I’d consider more violent than troublemaker, so Jonathan probably (whos still violent but who was a troublemaker even before that)
14. Tragic Backstory
Gregory and Annora have a tragic backstory as well but I’m gonna go w Célestin rnTw: Rape, Abuse, Homophobia
Célestin Villeneuve grew up in France to very religious parents with strict views. Célestins mother had unhappily carried out Célestin, having gotten pregnant at a very young age. Both her and her husband being strong believers, they considered abortion a sin and kept the child. Her own parents threated it like a shameful secret, making their daughter and her boyfriend marry, despite them being 16 at the time. They moved to the next town, where they were unknown and had everyone belive that they were both adults, their child concieved properly, after marriage and willingly.
Not having finished their education properly, Célestins father lied in order to get a job, his wife mroe than willing to keep up his tales, in fear of being ridiculed by the community. Appearance and what others thought of them became the most important thing to Célestins mother early on, drilled into her by her own parents.Célestins father craved to be popular and keep his image in the town.
They were active in church and his father insisted on going to every sunday mass, prayers before lunch and his child confessing his sins to him.Punishment often consisted of simple bread and cheese and water for meals, a swat ont he back of his head if it was particularly bad in his parents eyes.
Célestin had always been a perfect child, smart and following his parents wishes, sitting in church, firm in prayer.He considered his parents treatment right, and, as he kept from sin, was confident it would never get any worse.However, he was gravely mistaken.As he got older, Célestins parents would get worse in their punishment, afraid their child would sully their image, as they themselves had, with the early pregnancy.
Things reached a peak when Célestin discovered he was gay. Knowing it to be a sin, he told his mother, asking her for help to free him of this condition, telling her he’d accept the punishiment if it’d only make him right in God’s eyes again.
His mother was shocked, less so because of her sons sexuality, but more so because she had seen the violence raging in her husband and was well aware that he would no longer keep the punishment to a few slaps.Talking to her husband that night, when Célestin was asleep, she attempted to sway her husband, who was as she had expected, beyong angered.
He however knew of her fear for being casdt out of the community and explained that not punishing and correcting such behaviour would result in Célestin believing it was normal and flaunting it around for everyone to see. Riddled by fear, Célestins mother accepted her husbands preposition as what would happen to her son.
While Célestin had expected punishment, nothing would have prepared him for what would come for him as his father would drag him out to the field each day anew, whipping him until his back was bleeding. His wife was fobidden to tend to her sons wounds and was often standing by staring into nothing while her son begged for forgiveness.
Célestin learned how to poorly tend to his own injuries, some getting infected at the lack of proper treatment. To his own shock no beating did help to cure him as he had desperately hoped to happen to stop the violent treatment. Unsure where to turn, and why God would have him suffer like this, despite all attempts and prayer, Célestin went to the church to confess and ask a pastor for help.The man was shocked and appalled at what he heard and even more so at the fact that Célestin was under the impression that this was right.
For the first time Célestin was told that he was treated terribly, and that he had done nothing to deserve this. He went away with odd feelings in his mind and the first seeds of doubt. Attempting to help, the pastor went to talk to Célestins parents a few days later, when Célestin himself was in school, trying to sway them in their ways, telling them that they surely had to know that he had to report such behaviour.
When Célestin returned from school, he found his mother crying adn his father angrier than hed ever been. They’d not taken the pastors warning to take their son away to their heart, seeing their fault in their actions but instead saw nothing but the ridicule they were about to face, as well as the authorities coming up. Célestins father feared to loose his job, and face, more than he feared for his sons life. He beat Célestin again before dragging him into his parents room, where a middle aged woman was waiting that was known throught the town for offering any kind of intercourse for the right money.
Saying that there was only one way to truly fix him, Célestins father forced his son to have sex with the prostitute, watching with a belt in hand to make sure the intercourse was actually carried out. During it he would often ask his son if he was still filthy, wanting to do this with ofther men and woulod generally insult and hummiliate him. Whenever his son would answer with crying or begging his father to stop this, he would simply pay the woman for yet another round.
When it was finally over, Célestin was left laying in his parents bed, listening as his parents were having dinner in the kitchen.Filled with shame he declined everything when the authorities came knocking at their door the next day, nodding of his fathers claim that he had made it all up.
The pastor attempted to speak to Célestin but when he asked to see the boy the evening, he and Célestins parents found his room empty.Célestin had ran away.
15. Do you like to talk about your OCs with other people?
Gosh I love it I wish I could do it more. I feel if u actually have some else to chat ocs with it leads to ur oc getting more and more fleshed out
16. Which one of your OCs would be the best at biology (school subject)?
I think Helva would take the cake on that one
17. Any OC OTPs?
Regulus/Adelais, Caspian/Nadia, Hunter/Piper and Araan/Dorian,,,,If I can be honest, I hardly have the amount of Oc ships as I would lmao,,,my ocs do function on their own but there are so I’d just love to ship lmao
18. Any OC crackships?
Not really any, I shortly thought about just taking a random oc from u/Leander and pairing them randomly w one of mine for the laughs of it.But then I felt it would maybe be inapropriate to do that lmaoo
19. Introduce an OC that means a lot to you (and explain why)
While all my Ocs mean a lot to me I chose Brist for this because he’d the first Oc I made for a game, fallout new vegas, which I love a lot. He pretty much develpoed all by himself while I was playing, and is really fleshed out now. I’m super fond of him somehow.Here are a couple of things about him:
Brist was born 2225, the son of caravaneers, somewhere on their travels and therefore does not know where exactly he was born. Deciding that raising a child at such young age while traveling would not work well, they settled near the ruins of Ashton and Hopeville, where a small community was build.Brist spend his childhood in the Divide and soon began traveling alongside his father, keeping the community flourishing as the only connection between it and the rest of the land. When the Divide and the road paved by Brist came to attention of the NCR, they cooperated to protect the supply line and keep it open for other traders. With that done and his home taken care of, Brist left the Divide to travel further, exploring New California as a drifter.
Brist came to enjoy the life of a Drifter, occasionally taking small jobs and living from day to day up until returning to the divide a last time, making a delivery that would cause his home to be destructed.Not knowing of what had happened, Brist returned into the Mojave desert, further traveling New California before joining the Mojave Express.2281 he was hired to deliver another important package, once more without knowledge of what it would cause, and was shot in the head by Benny in Goodsprings.
He doesn’t sleep too much, and he’s not at all picky about where. He prefers having some sort of mattress but if he’s tired and there’s none he’ll sleep on the floor.
Brist is an Courier and Explorer at heart, determined to finish his jobs, power through them. Even if that might result in physical pain or poisoning. Brist has the constant need to be on his feet all the time, traveling, looking around or doing things for people and he often does not sleep, eat, shower or talk during these travels. Sometimes he’s so focused on the road ahead that he misses the explosive traps right in front of him.
He notices that he is doing this, and he can sometimes be heard muttering to himself how he’ll see a doctor in the next town and so on, but those good intentions always get lost along the way. Brist hates missing traps and such, but he doesn’t quite see that those thigns could easily be avoided if he’d be more careful.
He is suffering from Radiation Poisoning, he could easily be treated for it at the early stages but he literally does not care enough to see a doctor or get some RadAway. He keeps delaying it in favour of missions and traveling and stuff
20. Do any of your OCs sing? If they sing, care to share more details (headcanon voice, what kind of songs they like etc)?
Charlie sings, more for herself actually, than for anyone else but she’s quite good at it. She’s constantly humming when she’d focusing on something and sometimes doesnt even notice when she starts singing along to songs. She simply loves music a lot and lets herself be taken along by the songs. Has no real preference for genre but she likes happy go lucky songs most
21. Your most artistic OC
Richard aka Dick. He’s at tattoo artist and leaves cool little doodles everywhere. Especially great with colours. The most colorful the better
22. Is there any OC of yours people tend to mischaracterize? If yes, how?
There aren’t really any, since my ocs arent popular or anything. Someone did sometimes, but it was more forcing their ideas or their own thoughts w their own ocs on mine,,,
23. Introduce OC that has changed from your first idea concerning what the character would be like?
Gregory, as you see below has changed quite a bit. While the overall design is the same, now he looks as nasty as I imagine him to be, a lot less soft.Character-wise my ocs didn’t change drastically
Only the fact, in Gregory’s case, that he got more fleshed out, and the time he lives in changed, to the 50sI’m trying to not write to many long things here lmao.Especially since just u and Leander will read this and Leander knows himst and Regulus already.
Dr Gregory Thomas Landon was born 1911 to Sybill and Raphael Landon. While the first world war almost went by without having any impact on the family, Raphael was pulled into war when America joined in 1917 and died in combat.
With her husband gone and her son just 6 years old, Sybill took a job as a secretary to make sure of her and her sons survival.Sybill had grown up the youngest child (of those who had survived) out of 5, always too smart and abitious for a woman in her time. Her father was Doctor and she would often sneak into his office room to look through notes and books on human anatomy and patient records.She had written down what she believed could be links between illnesses,behaviour and anatomy, finding the greatest interest in the still very new field of psychology. Of course her father wanted to hear nothing of it, Sybills oldest brother being the one ment to inherit their fathers office and place as a doctor.
But Sybill had never stopped being interested in psychology, following the work of Edward Titchner, whod brought psychological studies to America, as well as the rise of ‘structuralism’ ,as close as possible.Unlike Titchner, who excluded the study of children, Sybill wondered if it was the childs mind that should be studied to find the roots of all things. Perhaps it was bitterness above all that drove her to the treatment of her son in the following years. Sybill had lived her life knowing that she had no possibility whatsever to porperly study psychology and work on her theories. But hearing about Margaret Washburn, the woman that had been able to become a psychologist, Sbyill turned anger and disappointment to her son, whom she viewed as the reason she had to stay at home and be a mother isntead of trying to achieve what Ms Washburn had.
Quickly she realized however that she did not need a title or be thought by a Doctor to test her theories, deciding to conduct them on her son, who had kept her from fullfilling her dream. While Gregory was not the perfect research object, already six years and not a infant, who Sybill believed to be the ideal stage, she attempted to see if continous infliction of pain would change her sons behaviour.
She was especially curious if such pain inflicted on the brain would influence Gregorys personality, perhaps causing of curing misbehaviours and such. Gregory would grow up very intelligent but withdrawn, hardly finding kinship with people his age, spending his time reading. Like his mother before him he became interested in the human mind and, unlike Sybill, was able to study, earning him a Doctorate in both psychology and psychiatry
While he remained living with his mother he would sometimes roam the university campus, especially after long nights of studying, observing the people around.
It was there that he, at age 19, that he met a young woman that had been wandering around, lost and visibly pregnant. Seeing her caused a deep shock in Gregory as she resembled his mother in looks like no other woman he’d even seen before. Unbeknowns to his mother, Gregory had suffered great damage from her treatment of him, which had lead to violent thoughts and great apathy. Had the girl not approached him, she would have lived but she decided to ask him for help, ending in her death.
This remained the only unplanned murder commited by the Doctor, who hid her body, laying awake at night, working out what to do with her. He had carefully opened her up, not focused on her death as much as on causing her pain for as long as possible, but as he hadn’t been very ecperienced yet he had made quite a mess. The young woman would turn to the first in a row of women that caused Gregory to perfect his work and disposal of the bodies.
World War Two brought a sudden end to the Doctors murder streak. Age 30 when America entered the War he was pulled into it as a medic, despite not being properly trained as a Doctor
However his talents that he had perfected during his murders had been of great use during the war that had only led to Gregory becoming even more cold to death and gore. Returning from the War he was offered a position at a instiution, as the need for Psychologists arose.
However Gregory saw no great interest in treating shell shocked patients for too long, he instead chose to focus on the psychiatric field, working in an asylum from then on. Gregory is, while extremely smart, speaking four languages and being a Doctor, unable to form any bonds with people.
He’s terribly arrogant and aware of his intelligence, viewing it as a superiority to other people. He suffers from antisocial personality disorder/ psychopathy and is addicted to nictotine.
He’s a very cleanly person, almost to a point of it being an obsession. He smells of Nicotine, Disinfectant and a neutral perfume.
24. If you could meet one OC of yours, who would it be and why?
Oh geez, well I’d rather meet an oc of mine thats like, one of the chill ones. Maybe someone about my age.
Someone like Friedrich or Violet. It’d be easiest to talk to them, and I know they are super nice. Meeting Brist, Araan or Caspian would be cool too tho, so many stories and questions there
25. The OC that resembles you the most (same hobby, height, shared like/dislike for something etc?)
There used to be the joke that Friedrich is basically a tall, muscular version of me. Funnily enough I now have the chin beard as well, and I’ve discovered that I’m as much of a nerd and work focused person as he is. Still while we share some similarities, we’re p different still lmao
26. Have you ever had to change your OC’s design or something else about them against your will?
Not really, only changed things to be more accurate and stuff but that aint against my will or anything
27. Any OCs that were inspired by a certain song? Nope
28. Your most dangerous OC?
There are a couple, such as Cenric (being a crazy, megalomanic, narcisstic, manic Emperor), Gregory and Jonathan (literal serial killers), Crya (cannibalistic monster) and Eligos (p much does body disposal).
29. Which one of your OCs would go investigate an abandoned house at night without telling anyone they’re going?
Eddy and Dick, they would tell each other because they’d go together lmao. Paula would want to and just before going there she’d chicken out of it
30. Which one of your OCs would most likely have a secret stuffed animal collection? Quinn, he’s tall and grown up but he loves small and cute things
31. Pick one OC of yours and explain what their tumblr blog would be like (what they reblog, layout, anything really)
Friedrich II:Would have a super cool layout that he coded himself, and would offer the theme for people to use, as well as giving people tips on how to easily do cool things w their themes.
His icon would’ve been fairytale themed for a while until he posts his first selfie for pride month, then it’s a picture of him with a pride flag. He’d reblog peoples art of fairytales, and he’d especially love peoples new interpretations of them
Would reblog thing about rats and post pictures of his own rats with cute captions. Reblogs peoples selfies during pride and other pride days ( like trans day of visibility n such), always adding super nice things in the tags.
He posts his first selfie during pride and it gets quite the reblogs and people asking to see more (half of them are thirsting after his body) Declines the request to post full topless pictures because he says that his blog is sfw and he doesnt want to mix fairtales, rats and codes with nudes.
He would have a nsfw blog tho,,,hes horny He’d give it to those over 18 that’d ask, reblogging gifs and stuff there and yeah thats where he posts topless pictures.
32. Which one of your OCs would be the most suitable horror game protagonist and why?
I’d like to say Brist because that would be funny as hell and he would actually explore everything, pretty unfazed by what is going on. But honestly Annora is already living a horror game pretty much, that is with loosing her parents, fighting for survival,being used by the revolution group as a ‘chosen one’, and especially because she has to encounter the wandering twins, which are creepy as heck. She’s a fighter against will but she pulls through and shes careful enough not to do something stupid.
33. Your shyest OC?
That’d be sweet, pure Charlie
34. Do you have any twin characters?
Oh yes, Eddy and Dick; Jae-Eun and Jae-Hyeok; Nathanael and Susanna
35. Any sibling characters?
There’s a lot coming your way
Cenric and his younger sister Annora
Sadira and her older brother Arshad
Gregory actually has a halfbrother that’s not really developed, named Maximilian
Charlie and her younger sister Paula
Olivia and her older brother Bill
Arthur and his younger brother Jonathan
36. Do you have OC pairs where the other part belongs to someone else (siblings, lovers, friends etc)?
The above mentioned Adelais who belongs to Leander, is let’s say semi-paired w Regulus
Established girlfriends Sadira (who’s my oc) and Elizaveta (who is his)
Violet (mine) and Cole (his) sweet young love
And an AU Version of my oc Echo is the ex of Ninas OC Crem
Charlie used to be w the oc Amy of a friend but idk if that’s still a thing
37. Introduce an OC who is not quite human
There are a few, like Myka, Viida, Amodis,Brist, Rovhen and Araan but I think I’ll go with Cyra
Cyra, or ‘Venus Cyra’ is not as developed as some others here so not to worry about too long of a text,,,,I hope
Cyra is meant to exist around the 50s funnily enough, just like Gregory, which I really didn’t intend lmaoShe is,a s the question suggests, not quite human, despite maintaining a relaticely human appearance for most of the time. Cyra lives in a house in the fictional Bloomstreet, which has been declared haunted decades ago because of a man living inside of it that took great joy in messing with his neighbours.
Crya believes herself to have lived in the house all of her life, with no memory as to how she got to come there and why she can’t leave it.In truth it’s told that she moved in with her grandmother when Cyra was just a baby, having lost her parents. If you were to believe the whispers and legends the old woman was very poor, hardly able to keep the small house for her and her granddaughter.
She would wear the same old clothes she had arrived in, the young girl wearing a worn out dress with a pale blue bow. Legends say that they were so poor that the grandmother couldn’t afford to buy much more than bread and water.
A police man came to their door one day because the old woman hadn’t been able to pay for her house anymore. Desperate, it’s said that she hit the man across the head as he had bend down to say hello to Cyra, who looked famished and sick at that point.
Not sure what to do with the body and knowing that her granddaughter needed more than bread to survive and grow, she went to butcher the man and cook him into stew for herself and her granddaughter to eat. As she saw that Cyra became more healthy and stronger at the meat consumption, the old woman, desperate and hopeful to keep her beloved granddaughter alive, fully turned to cannibalism.
It’s said that the grandmother died a couple of years later of old age but legends have it that she is still in the house as well, a half dead monster. Cyra, having eaten human flesh all her life is said to have turned into a wendigo like creature,fully turning into a gruesome beast during the nights, to feed on the flesh of people that dare to enter the haunted house.
She is called Venus in some tales because a man claimed to have seen her one day, watering the roses in the lawn of the house, more beautiful than anything he had seen all his life, calling her ‘a sight like the goddess Venus herself’
Cyra isn’t fully aware of these legends, but she is aware of her monsterous nature, that she is unable to control. She believes she was cursed to stay in this house, a monster taking her place during night, leaving her with the remains of peoiple and the ravaging craving for human flesh.
She loved taxidermy and moths, and tending to flowers.
38. Which one of your OCs would be the best dancer?
Irina is a professional ballet dancer so I’d say she’s the best out of my Ocs
39. Introduce any character you want
Alright, because I’ve tought about them recently, I’ll cheat a bit and introduce two ocs: Susanna and Nathanael, whom I mentioned somewhere above briefly as ‘The Wandering Twins’
They are part of my Golden Empire universe and are the heads of one of the groups that build after the collapse of most of what we know of the Earth.
They play a part in Annoras journey to find her brother as both a danger to avoid/defeat, as well as potential allies. Susanna and Nathanael are twins that are both about 1,90m tall and are constantly veiled, having stapled veils to their faces and necks.
That adds to their ghostly,creepy appearance. You could describe their group as a cult,as it is religiously motivated and their followers are devoted to Susanna and Nathanael, who they call ‘Mother’ and ‘The Priest’
That could come fromt he fact that Susanna wears the traditional headwear of a nun, while Nathanael looks somewhat like a Priest and carries a bible around. Christianity is considered an old and outdated religion in the times that GE plays in, practiced by a very small amount of people before the collapse. It’s generally thought of as outdated and outlandish, with stories too wild to be real.
However some of the old text have been recovered or been carried on over generations by those that remain firm believers in the Christian God. Susanna and Nathanael were raised by such a family and spread their belief to vulnerble and scared people after the collapse that latch onto it as a form of explanation easily.
The Twins view the collapse as a sort of apocalypse brought by God to punish Humanity for their sins, they believe that they must attone and suffer now as Earth was made their purgatory. If one is firm in belief and enough suffering is done, so they say, Heaven will open up and they will be taken by God to heaven, forgiven and able to forget the horrors they went through on Earth.
They expect that suffering to be done by their followers, who all walk barefoot, some of them having blinded themself in order to see nothing but God in their lifes. Susanna and Nathanael as well as their group wander in order to spread their message, taking in new followers if they prove their faith by stripping themselves of their footwear and walking through the ruins of cities with them until their feet bleed.
Only if they are willing to shed blood for their sins will they be taken on and be bathed and baptized in a river and dressed in simple gowns.It is considered the highest honour to be veiled just like Susanna and Nathanael. They seem to be able to appear out of nowhere and have a settlement in the woods that they return to.
40. Any fond memories linked to your characters? Feel free to share!
I love developing oc things w my friends, its always a lot of fun and I wish I could do that more. Especially nice was cosplaying Gregory and Jason w Leander,,,cosplaying ocs is rad af, would love to do that again
41. Has anyone drawn fanart of your OCs? If yes, maybe show a picture or two here (remember sources & permissions!)
Yeee, mostly you and Leander actually, but a couple of others too. Let me see if I can show u a favourite oc art from u and from Leander
@bruhchantite listen,,,this is so fucking cute, I love seeing our kids all together. All art of them is always so happy and positive. I love every piece u did of em but this one especially bc,,,bringing star wars into it??Power move
@spokoystviye okay listen you made soo many great pieces but this one,,,this one idk maybe its because I love Brist so much but,, this is simple yet amazing. I love the small light play u got in here and just how u drew Brist,,,thats me boy!!!
42. Which one of your OCs would be the most interested in Greek gods?
Cenric, I’d say. He thinks of himself as a god after all. I think he’d like the imagery of it all
43. Do you have any certain type when you create your OCs? Do you tend to favour some certain traits or looks? It’s time to confess
Oh geez well,, I generally make my ocs older than me, like most of them are in their late 30s/40s, I have more ocs heading 60s than I have heading 20 lmao. My ocs are more often male than any other gender and more likely to be lgbt than straight. I like nice and clean looks, Leander can tell a great deal about how much I care for a clean look lmao. Most of my ocs have their life in order, and most of them are on the taller side
44. Something you like about your OCs in general
I put thought into my characters,so I think that makes them interesting and fun. And I try very hard to havbe them make sense and be time/lore appropriate.
45. A character you no longer use?
I did drop some Ocs a bit ago that never got much work and that I didn’t think interesting enough to work on. Sadly enough I don’t do as much w my ocs as I’d like to generally.
46. Has anyone ever told you that you treat your OCs badly?
Nope, I’m generally kind to my characters lmao
47. Has anyone ever (friendly) claimed any of your OCs as their child?
both Nina and Leander did and I think it’s v sweet hell yeah
48. OC who is a perfect cinnamon roll, too good for this world, too pure
Charlie and Caspian, truly good and pure, and positive
49. Which one of your OCs would most likely enjoy memes
Seth would definitely love memes. So would Kylan but he’d like the really weird ones best. Eddy and Dick would constantly send memes to each other, effectively annoying everyone else. Paula would like memes when they are already outdated
50. Give me the good ol’ OC talk here. Talk about anything you want
Generally special universe oc seem to be more interesting than like,,basic universe ones but I wannt quickly talk abour my OC WilliamI love him okay? He’s from Russia, where he grew up in a tightly knit family. He’s a childrens Doctor and was married to Nahia, who’s an ER Doctor. They met in med school and got along super well, they both were used to the whole early marriage idea and marrying someone you like so they did just that. They both always wanted to have children and kid. It’s very important for them to be there for thgeir child despite their jobs. William is such a dad, he loves his child so much, he’d do anything for em. He and Nahia are best friends, even after the divorce, which happened after long talks because they had noticed that something was off. It led to William confessing that he thinks he might be gay and they ended up divorcing because it turns out yes he is. William probably would’ve stayed w Nahia, also for their childs sake but she wouldn’t hear anything of it. He’s a very kind man, calm and I love the thought of him being able to explore who he is even at his age. He’d be so new to everything,,sobs,,angel
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the secrets we keep close to our hearts
“What happened to us?”
The question hovers in the air, unanswered. Poppy’s afraid to touch it, let alone acknowledge it. She shifts on her butt, anxiously tearing some grass out from the ground. It’d taken them the whole summer to get here. To get to this very moment. It had been all Poppy had wanted, and now that it’s here, she’s afraid it’s another dream.
She lifts her head. Ellie’s staring at her, waiting. She wants an answer. She wants a list of reasons. She wants to be able to pick them all apart to ensure they won’t happen again. Poppy knows this, she knows that Ellie needs this, but still, she keeps her mouth shut.
“Real mature, Day. Real fucking mature.” Ellie pushes herself off the ground. She hovers for a moment, as if Poppy might suddenly beg. She can’t. Ellie nods once, sharp and defiant. “Alright, if that’s how you want it. Just don’t say I didn’t warn you, because right now? You just started a war that may never end.”
“Ellie,” Poppy whispers. But it’s too late. Ellie is already halfway across the park by the time Poppy can find her voice. She hugs her knees close to her chest now and rests her forehead on her knees. Nothing will make this okay. Nothing. But it’s for the best. It is. It has to be. Poppy needs to protect Ellie, and this is the only way she knows how. It had to be done.
A sob breaks out of her, startling some of the ducks down at the pond. Poppy doesn’t know what to do, but when she finally manages to stand up, she has a feeling that she can’t go back now. She made her decision, and if Ellie ever found out, well, Poppy’s sure she’d feel worse than she already does.
Her phone buzzes in her pocket, and Poppy reaches into her pocket to read the text message.
TOM: did you seriously use your savings to pay off ellie’s dad so he’d disappear???
POPPY: you didn’t see the bruises, tom. I did what I had to do. you can’t ever tell her.
TOM: so it’s better to think that he just took off?
POPPY: yes. yes it is. can you imagine what it would be like for her to learn that her father accepted the $5k to leave her without a second thought? 5k, tom. 5 fucking thousand bucks. I was willing to give him 20k. he took my first offer.
TOM: god this is a mess.
TOM: you really don’t want her to know?
POPPY: no, I don’t. she deserves a better life, and with her dad out of it, she has a chance at that now.
TOM: I don’t know what to say...
POPPY: there’s nothing to say. she hates me now. you can’t breathe a word. she barely has a self-esteem rn, and I think learning how little she’s worth to her dad will shatter that completely. she means everything to me, tom.
TOM: alright, I won’t say a word. just lmk what you need from me.
POPPY: can you pick me up? I don’t think I can stop crying long enough to drive home
TOM: duck pond?
POPPY: yes.
Knowing that Tom would be on his way, Poppy lets herself collapse back onto the ground. She hugs her legs and watches the ducks swim around. She’d signed Ellie up for a Love Me Self-Esteem Workshop two weeks ago, and she’d made Ellie promise she’d go. Poppy can only cling to the hope that she will. Out of everyone on this earth, Ellie deserves to love herself as much as Poppy does.
x x x
“Dad?” Ellie asks, peering at the old man behind the grocery store counter. She tilts her head. God, she hadn’t seen him in...what? Nine, ten years? Maybe twelve. She thinks he left when she was seventeen. So. Twelve years.
Twelve years and suddenly, he’s right there in front of her. She’d flown into LA for a job interview and had decided to grab some whole foods instead of relying on the hotel restaurant. She always did hate to eat alone in public.
“Eloise?” He sounds so uncertain, so timid. Then he flushes with embarrassment. “I bet you’re not surprised to find your ol’ man working the till at a rundown grocery store. You look...you look great, El. Really grown up.”
She stares at him before lifting her basket up onto the counter. “How did you end up in LA?”
“It’s a long story. Could I tell you over dinner? I’m nearly nine years sober, y’know.”
Ellie blinks. Her dad is sober? What? All those years she begged him to quit drinking because it made him mean and abusive. And now...now he’s sober? She can’t trust him, but the teenage girl inside her aches to believe him. “I--uh, sure. I’m in town for an interview. It’s tomorrow at two o’clock. How about we meet at four?”
“I get done at six?”
“Six it is then. I’m staying at the Marriott down the road. Meet me at the hotel restaurant?” she asks, still unsure of him.
“I’ll be there. I promise.”
Ellie knows that his promises tend to become disappointments, but she nods once. She’d become better than this. Her self-worth no longer depended on what her daddy thought of her. In fact, this would be the perfect test to see if that holds true.
“Don’t worry - I’ll get this. Have yourself a good night, okay?”
She takes her bags. “Yeah, okay. Sure. I’ll...I’ll see you tomorrow.”
Ellie doesn’t look back, because she’s afraid that she’ll have made it all up. Her fingers grip the grocery bag tightly and when she gets into her hotel room, she presses her back to the door. How could he have been so close for all these years? Getting sober? Ellie didn’t buy it.
ELLIE: I just ran into my dad.
TOM: wait, what???? where???? I thought you were in LA.
ELLIE: I am. and apparently so is my dad. he said he’s been sober for nine years. we’re getting dinner tomorrow night before I fly out.
TOM: I’ve got the kids until 8pm my time, but do you want me to give you a call afer?
ELLIE: no, no. I’m okay. really. I just wanted to let you know. how’s vernon adapting to being a single foster parent?
TOM: tbh I think it’s making him reconsider our breakup. I hope so, anyway. just lmk if you need to talk, okay?
ELLIE: will do, dude. but by the looks of what you’ve been posting on fb, single parenthood suits you.
TOM: that’s the kids & I trying to get vernon back. they’ve been with us for two years. their our kids, y’know? ethan will be turning 18 in two weeks, and I really wanted to surprise him with adoption papers with vernon on his bday.
ELLIE: oh wow, that’s incredible! I’m so happy for you guys!
And she is. Really. But wow, how can she be jealous of a seventeen year old kid who has been dealt a crap hand in life? It’s just...Ethan had two dads who love him more than anything. They had broken up for some reason - one that no one is willing to share with her - and yet they still love him so much. What must that be like?
Meeting her father for dinner makes her anxious, but she’s not going to show it. She never shows her weaknesses anymore. Keeping a straight face, sitting very still, she skims the menu. Of course, she already knows what she wants. But the heavy silence between them is too much.
“Please, tell me how you’ve been?” her dad ventures, setting his menu down on the table. “How was college? Are you seeing anyone these days? How’s Penelope and the boys? What were their names... um...”
“Penelope,” Ellie repeats softly. She hadn’t thought about Poppy in a long time. Her betrayal had been heartbreaking enough. She tilts her head. “Why do you remember Poppy? She barely came around the house and I...I never talked about her.”
Her dad blinks. It’s the same deer-in-headlights expression that Tom had had five years ago when he’d mentioned Poppy’s name in her presence. They had had one agreement - her, Tom, and Vernon - and that was to never, ever mention Poppy. They could be friends with her, but they were to pretend she doesn’t exist around Ellie. The heartache that Poppy’s name brought to her hadn’t eased with time.
“You mean, she never told you?”
“Told me what?” Ellie’s gripping the menu tightly. When the waiter comes to their table, they sense that there’s tension right now and casually slip away. “Frank, tell me right now.”
Her dad sighs, staring at his water glass. Then he meets her eyes. “Honey, Poppy paid me five thousand dollars for me to go away when you were seventeen. I took it and flew to New Orleans. I burned through a big chunk of it quickly, and then I flew to Vegas, with the hopes of making it back. There was so much booze in Vegas - it was like an alcoholic’s dream come true.”
Ellie doesn’t relax. If possible, she tenses some more. Poppy paid her dad to leave her? How dare she play god with Ellie’s life?
“Then about six months later, I went back to her. She told me you two weren’t talking anymore, but that you were doing so much better. I tried to blackmail her into giving me more money. Instead, she sent me to rehab. I’ll admit I tried to run away a few times, but there she’d be, yelling at me to get back into the building.” Her dad shakes his head. “You really don’t know any of this?”
“No, now keep talking. And talk fast.” Ellie’s vibrating with too many emotions to name.
“Basically, for the first five years after I left, I burned through Penelope’s savings and college tuition. She didn’t care. She was there, every step of the way. Constantly yelling at me, but she never wavered. No matter how mean I’d get. She’d remind me that I had to get better to make up for...well, everything.”
“What happened after the first five years?” Ellie whispers, barely recognizing her own voice. Poppy did this?
“She got a job in New York. She took the opportunity, but called me once a week for the next few years or so. Now we’re down to six month check-ins - I send her half of every pay cheque.” Frank tilts his head. “Eloise, I’m so sorry for all I had done to you. I know that I can’t ever make up for it, but I swear, I’m clean and I’m doing alright. I’m just not where I’d like to be. I wanted to be in a better position before reaching out to you.”
“Where is Poppy now?” Ellie asks.
“Uh, last I heard she’d gone up to Toronto for another job opportunity.”
“Toronto? Poppy is in Canada?”
“I think so. I still have her email address if you want it--”
“I...I don’t know what to say, Frank. I really don’t.”
“That girl loves you a lot, Ellie. She always gets a real soft look when she talks about you. She never really let me know what was going on between you, but I figured that was just ‘cause she didn’t want you to know what she was up to. She told me that you were engaged, so I had assumed that y’all were talking again.”
Engaged? How would Poppy know that...oh god. Tom and Vernon know. They know what Poppy’s been doing for her for twelve years and they never told her.
“I need some time to process this.”
“Wait, please. Just share a drink with me at least?”
Ellie freezes.
“I mean coffee or tea. God, sorry. I didn’t mean...I haven’t had a sip in nine years, I swear. I’m almost at my ten year anniversary.”
“I guess I could stay for one coffee.”
x x x
Poppy gets off the subway, grateful to be part of the rushing crowd who switches to Line 2 at Bloor. Line 2 is usually less packed than Line 1. She adjusts her headphones, listening to a podcast. Sword and Scale is in their fifteenth season, and the murder they’re discussing is particularly gruesome. But no one else needs to know that this is what she listens to for pleasure.
She winces at a very detailed part before taking a seat. She relaxes, despite knowing she’l be getting off soon. Poppy watches some people around her. There are a group of high school kids huddled together, laughing and shouting. There’s an older man sitting across from her, reading the newspaper that Poppy had read on her way to work this morning. She spots a really good looking couple sitting a few seats down the car - one has a large trans flag pin on their bag and the other person has a scarf made out of the bisexual colours.
Poppy smiles. She’s been living in Toronto for a while now, and she loves it. There’s so many interesting people to watch and make up stories about their lives. But most of all? Living in Toronto was really nice because the diversity was incredible. She went from a small white-ass town to a big city with people from everywhere.
None of her Canadian friends have the same religious beliefs - other than the other two atheists in her office - and one one of them was actually born outside of Canada. She was a refugee, and Poppy had told her how much she admired her strength.
She’s no longer one of two black people in a room like she had been growing up. She’s surrounded by culture and diversity.
The podcast ends just as she’s getting off the subway to walk to her house just off the Danforth. Poppy pulls out her phone and frowns when she sees a string of texts from Tom.
TOM: Poppy, I don’t know what happened but I think the secret’s out of the bag.
TOM: Ellie knows. she ran into her father accidentally. he told her the whole story. I had no idea.
TOM: she called me yelling & didn’t even let me explain
TOM: I don’t know what she’s going to do...
TOM: but she did not sound happy.
TOM: is it bad that I feel a little relieved? I hated lying to her.
TOM: wait, that lest message was for vernon but...well, it’s true.
She stands on the corner of Pape and Danforth for what feels like years. Poppy reads the messages once more. Then again. And again. Swallowing, she calls Tom.
“Poppy!”
“This is so bad. So bad.”
“It’s been like twelve years since you two talked. I feel like it should’ve blown over now.”
“I was her lifeline, Tom. I was her rock. And she lost me when she lost her dad.” Poppy closes her eyes. “She knew I was keeping a secret from her, and she couldn’t handle it. And I couldn’t tell her.”
“I know. I know. But c’mon. Poppy, you could’ve told her by now.”
“It was too hard. I didn’t want to open that can of worms when she was doing so well.” Poppy starts walking towards her home now. “How did this even happen? This is so bizarre.”
Poppy listen s to Tom, and she has to stop on the sidewalk a few times to process what he’s saying. Then she reaches her house, and freezes. After a moment of Tom asking her if she’s still on the phone, Poppy murmurs. “I gotta go, Tommy Boy. Ellie is on my porch stairs.”
“What?!” Tom yells.
“Love you,” Poppy says, on autopilot. She hangs up without waiting to hear his response. “Ellie.”
“Poppy. How could you?”
“I just...”
“I--I need to understand. Please.”
“C’mon in. We’ll talk.” Poppy passes her on the stairs to unlock her front door. “So you flew up?”
“Yeah. I had to reschedule my second interview.”
“What? This could’ve waited. Why would you risk a job opportunity like this?” Poppy asks. She kicks off her shoes and flicks on her kitchen light. Ellie drops her stuff in the front hallway before joining Poppy in the kitchen. “Ellie--Eloise, I just--what was the job for?”
“To become partner at a law firm.”
“So you really did it, huh? The boys told me but it’s nice to know they weren’t lying. That’s awesome - good for you.” Poppy fills the kettle with water and puts it onto the stove. Ellie had always drank tea, and Poppy hopes that hasn’t changed.
Ellie sighs. “Okay, look, let’s cut all the small talk bull shit. Why did you do it?”
Poppy shrugs. “I did what I thought needed to be done.”
“But my d--Frank, Frank said that you kept at it for five years before you had to move and that you still talk?”
“Ellie,” Poppy says, feeling more at ease now. Time had been kind to her in that sense - she felt more comfortable taking charge of a conversation. “You were always the girl who needed her dad to be a hero, but your dad wasn’t. So I thought...”
“You thought you could make him into a hero.”
“I was young when it started. I had no real concept of how much work and energy it is dealing with addiction. By the time I realized what I had committed myself, it was too late. You couldn’t have torn me from your dad’s side if the whole world depended on it. He was there for me when my mom died. He was there for me when my father shut down and then took off without a word. I didn’t mean to depend on him, but I had to.” Poppy is grateful when the kettle whistles. She gets up from the table and busies herself with getting mugs and teabags.
“I’m sorry to hear about your mom. She was pretty nice,” Ellie says, her voice soft. “And your dad just vanished?”
“Yep. Didn’t take his cell phone or wallet with him. One day, he stopped answering the phone and a week later, I flew down to find the house empty. Well, not empty. Everything was still exactly in it’s place. There was no note. No sign of anything out of the ordinary. He didn’t even made the bed or clean up the beer bottles. He was just gone.” Poppy sets the mug in front of Ellie before she sits down. “I had to legally declare him dead so I could take over the mortgage and stuff. I rent it out now.”
“Wow. I’m so sorry.”
Poppy shrugs. “Don’t be. I’ve had time to deal with it. So. Now you know. I never wanted to hurt you, Ellie. I just didn’t think at the time you could handle knowing what I had done.”
Ellie meets her eyes, her fingers curling around the mug. “I don’t think I could’ve back then. But I mean, time passed on, why didn’t you reach out to me?”
“I made a deal with Frank. Once he felt like he was good enough to reach out to you, then I had to. But I said I wouldn’t before then. It wouldn’t have seemed fair, y’know? To tell you what I had done, have been doing, and then telling you that you couldn’t talk to Frank because he wasn’t ready.”
“Wow. God, this is so much to take in.”
“I know. If you want to process it alone, that’s fine. I don’t know if you have a hotel room or not, but I have a guest bedroom that you’re more than welcome to stay in.”
“That would be nice...I didn’t really think that far ahead. I just went to the airport and bought a ticket for the next flight. I had to run through the airport. It was very dramatic.” Ellie smiles now. “And then I spent the entire plane ride freaking out and trying to understand everything. And then I realized that I had no idea how to get from the airport to your place so I grabbed a $60 Uber ride.”
“Frank give you my address?”
“Yeah. He said that he sends you Christmas presents and that you always mail him stuff throughout the year.”
“He’s kind of a penpal in that way,” Poppy tells her, with a fond smile crossing her lips. “So. I only know what you’ve been up to through Tom and Vern. Why don’t you catch me up on your life in your own words?”
“Sure, but first, can we talk about what the hell happened with Tom and Vernon?” Ellie asks.
Poppy’s shoulders relax for the first time since reading Tom’s text messages. God, she’d been dying to talk to someone about this. Her new Canadian friends didn’t really understand - they hadn’t met Tom or Vernon before, so all the drama meant nothing to them. Poppy could’ve reached out to Jane, but Jane had kind of faded from the group after college. Vernon is the only person who still talks to her occasionally.
“I can’t believe after all the crap they went through with Vernon’s mom and the whole thing with his siter and getting approved for foster care that they split.” Poppy shakes her head in disbelief. “And over a fucking book, no less.”
“It’s the stupidest fucking thing ever. I tried to tell Vernon to get his head out of his ass, because those kids mean the world to them both, and they shouldn’t be giving those kids any more instability,” Ellie says, waving her hands in the air.
Poppy laughs, because it’s so easy to fall into old habits. “They’re ridiculous. I’m pretty sure Vernon is going to freak when he discovers that book was part of Tom’s proposal plan.”
“He’s going to propose?!”
“Well, he was. Two months ago. But then Vernon stormed out and said he needed time to cool off.” Poppy frowns. “I think he’s worried about becoming his mom.”
“He’s a moron. He’ll never be like his mom.”
“I know. But you try telling that to him. He’s stubborn as a mule.”
“No kidding,” Ellie says, with lightness in her voice. They fall silent for a moment, before Ellie meets Poppy’s eyes. “Thanks, Poppy. For everything you did for me. I don’t think anyone has ever loved me that much before.”
“I know it’s like, twelve years too late, but uh. I just--Ellie, I would do anything for you. You meant everything to me.” Poppy hesitates before she adds, softly, “You still do. How I felt about you never changed. Not once.”
Ellie nods, as though she understands the weight behind Poppy’s words. Then she reaches out and puts her hand on Poppy’s. “I’m sorry that I doubted you.”
“It’s okay. It’s not too late. Why don’t you go settle in the guest room, maybe take a nap? It’s been a long week for you, I’m sure. When you wake up, I’ll have your favourite pancakes and bacon.”
The smile on Ellie’s face is worth everything to Poppy. “Breakfast for dinner is my favourite. Thank you, Poppy. Truly.”
“Go, go, get some rest.”
When Poppy’s alone, she goes over to the calendar hanging on her fridge. She runs her finger over today’s date.
Tomorrow will officially be three months since she’s been diagnosed with stage four cancer. Soon she’ll leave this earth, but at least she had the chance to make things right with Ellie first. She closes her eyes, adjusting her wig, and starts to make breakfast.
See, the thing is that the doctors didn’t realize the cancer was in stage four. They had misdiagnosed it as stage two. They had thought they could fight it. So Poppy had been going in and out of the hospital for chemo and radiation treatments. Then they learned that it was stage four. It had spread to different parts of her body.
Soon, she’ll be too weak to do anything but accept it.
But that’s tomorrow’s worries. Tonight, she’s just going to enjoy her company and thank the universe for giving her this chance to be with the love of her life once more.
x x x
© e. days. may 2017.
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