An extra long story from "60 Magical Stories": "Super Duper Party Pooper" by Dick Malmgren and Jon D'Agostino, from Archie's T.V. Laugh Out #1 (December, 1969)!

Here's our first look at orange Salem and Cousin Ambrose, back when he was grown up! And a fun story to boot! Sabrina has officially transitioned to her "I just want to be normal" phase, and you can't not feel bad for her as she tries to fit in! Thankfully, Ambrose stops Hilda from ruining the party with The Archies!

The way they panned to reveal Jughead when Pop asks Archie what he wants in his life— I mean with his grilled cheese is jarchie coded …like they didn’t need to do that right???

Blossom-Cooper-Jones Family Tree

To keep myself from going crazy, this family tree only includes direct relatives of onscreen characters.

Notable exclusions are Aunt Cricket, Uncle Bedford, and Cousin Fester, simply because we don't know how they're related to the main Blossoms. We know that Cheryl has at least two great uncles (one mentioned in S1, one mentioned in S6) so I suppose they could be these uncle’s children/grandchildren, but this is never confirmed, so I didn't include it.

Nana Blossom’s line is red just so you can see it better.

Who should be the male reader's love interest in the Sea Titaness and the Serpent's son

When I speak my truth and say that the worst season of riverdale is season 1 what then

We don’t talk enough about how funny Nana Rose Blossom is. Her allegiances and motivations are an enigma. In season 5 jughead came to her and asked “you ever seen any aliens?” and she said “yeah here’s an alien corpse I’ve been keeping in a barrel of maple syrup knock yourself out” and when he came back episodes later and asked “hey what was up with that alien corpse” she was like “oh lmao that was just my inbred cousin Timothy” like she literally knew what was going on the whole time she’s so goofy.

In season 6 she decides Cheryl is too busy being a tragic lesbian to restore the Blossom family back to power so she resurrects Abigail Blossom to permanently possess Cheryl’s body. But it soon becomes clear that Abigail is also a tragic lesbian and the minute she’s mean to her, Nana Rose switches sides again and plots with Britta to free Cheryl and imprison Abigail in a haunted doll

Also in season 5 she sold the maple groves that her family’s century old fortune is built upon to Hiram because Reggie flirted with her once. No one is doing it like her I’m obsessed

Andrew Garfield is a fake ass bitch because why are you going to tell Cole Sprouse you love Riverdale and then not even try to get a minor role in the show as jughead's gay cousin that Archie thinks is hot and jughead gets jealous about. You're duplicitous, Andrew.

"Imagination"

Every period gets its own paranormal parlor trick fad, I guess. I assume this is the early 60s version of like, seventies spoon bending, with its practitioner off a talked about appearance on Ed Sullivan.

It is the added question mark that throws me.

Magic firebrand imagery added. Making concrete what Archie is imaging.

Jughead has an intermediary between from blue to red sweatshirt. Orange. Better than the yellow intermediary one.

I imagine the problem that would pop up for Reggie in trying to pull this gag is that all Archie will see is a kid shuffling along in construction paper. An odd one -- pine tree shape? I assume the realization that we have a tree here is why it settled on green. As too the un-advisable white.

And the rest!

Of Course, We Love You

Summary: you are abused by your parents but never told your partners afraid they would agree with what your parents would tell you and leave you. One day Betty notices a bruise on her neck and tells the others.

A/N: I’m sorry if I’m writing so many ‘dark’ ones. they are the ones I’m used to and read the most so it’s easier.

Warnings: Physical and mental abuse, Alcohol abuse, and intersex girl? (Is that a warning?)

“YOU WORTHLESS PIECE OF SHIT! *Throws glass vase at the wall beside you* GO TO YOUR ROOM!” After your mom was done with you, you struggled to get up and make it to your room. your parents have been abusing you ever since they found out you were intersex. They thought you were a freak but luckily you could find people who accept you for what you are. Those people are now your partners Betty, Veronica, Archie, and Jughead. They had always been there through thick and thin. Despite their unconditional love, you are still scared that they might leave you if they found out what your parents think about you. They could realize your parents are right and leave like everyone in your past did. That’s why you haven’t told them about the abuse, so they wouldn’t leave you.

You were on a date with your partners at pops and having a great time. Archie was on your left and Betty on your right with Jughead in front of Archie and Veronica beside him. you leaned your head on Archie and closed your eyes since you were still tired from last night and ended up falling asleep.

Jughead was holding Archie’s hand from across the table when Betty noticed something on the bottom of your neck going to the top of your shoulder. “Hey, guys.” She whispered to the rest of the group. “Yeah B?” “Do you guys see this big bruise on Y/N’s neck?” The others carefully looked over at your neck and saw the bruise. “Yeah, where do you think she got that from?” Jughead said as he adjusted his beanie. “I don’t know maybe we can as her tomorrow?” “Yeah, we should let her sleep for now,” Archie commented after he put his arm around you. 

The next day at school you were wearing a turtleneck and blue jeans even though it’s summer, (you got home a little late last night). you felt arms wrap around your waist and instantly knew it was Veronica because she was more affectionate. “Hey Baby.” you rasped out softly. “Whoa, are you okay honey? Your throat sounds sore.” “I’m fine, V.” You felt really bad about lying to her after seeing how worried she got but you just couldn’t tell the truth. “A-are you sure?” “Yes, I’m sure.” “Okay well, the rest of our partners are waiting for us in the music room.” “Why the music room?” “For some...privacy.” She smiled and you smiled back. 

YOUR POV (BECAUSE I’M TIRED OF WRITING IN 3RD PERSON)

V and I got to the Music room after the other three were already there. the four of them look pretty nervous once they’re standing in front of me. “What going on?” Betty shifted on her feet. “Well, we wanted to ask you about yesterday’s bruise on your neck.” I quickly brought my hand to my neck and tried to think of an excuse. “A book fell on me at the library.” I thought it was a dumb excuse, but I think they brought it up, or at least Veronica did because she came up to hug me. “Why didn’t you tell us? You know how worried we get.” “I’m sorry, it slipped my mind.” After that, the bell rang, and we hugged before going our separate ways.

In the afternoon I was helping hang up some posters for prom in two months. “Uh, (y/n/n) are you okay?” “What do you mean Cheryl?” “When you were raising that sign, I saw a huge bruise on your side.” I started to in my head. People have never seen bruises before. “Oh, I just bumped into the door. you know how clumsy I can be.” I tried to laugh it off but it kind of hurt. Cheryl just nodded her head. “Ok well, I’m going to the bathroom.” “Bye, Cher!”

CHERYL’S POV

I lied. I wasn’t going to the bathroom; I was going to the blue and gold to tell Cousin Betty what I saw. Once I got in there, I saw that it was only me and Betty in the room. “Cousin Betty, I have to tell you something.” Betty didn’t even look up from her computer. “What is it?” “It’s about y/n.” She stopped what she was doing, stood up quickly, and started walking toward me. “What about y/n?” “When we were hanging up the posters for prom, I saw a huge bruise on her side.” Betty started to look really worried. “Ok, thank you for telling me.” “Do you think she’s okay?” I asked. Betty looked at me sadly and said, “Honestly Cheryl, I don’t know.”

BETTY’S POV

After what Cheryl told me I rushed to the lunchroom where my other partners were. “Guys, Cheryl just told me that she saw another bruise on y/n’s side while they were hanging up some prom posters.” “What? Another one? What is happening to her?” Jug said after putting down his burger. “I don’t know, but we got to find out what’s going on,” Archie elaborated. “I knew that excuse was bogus. I mean how could a book even leave that big of a bruise?” I started to pace back and forth and rub my hands on my pants. “Well, we got to find her first.” As if on cue, Y/n walked up to our lunch table, “Hey guys, what’s up. Whoa, Bets are you okay? Why are you pacing?” “No, I’m not okay and neither are you.” V got up and stood behind me, “Maybe we should talk about this in private.” “Talk about what?” Y/n asked. The boys got up too (Not without Jughead taking another bite of his burger) and we started walking to the music room with Y/n right behind us. 

After we made it to the music room Y/n spoke, “I still don’t know what this is about.” Ronnie sighed, “Why did you lie to us?” “Lie to you about what?” “Your bruises Y/n!” Juggie shouted. “Your excuse this morning was a flat-out lie. Cheryl told Betty about the bruise she saw on your side. And don’t even try to say some dumb explanation, we all know that you don’t have a single clumsy bone in your body!” Y/n slightly flinched and took a step back. “What was that?” I asked. She looked away from us and sat down in one of the chairs closest to her. The room was silent for a bit unit y/n finally said something, “If I tell you, will you promise me that yell anymore?” “Y-yeah,” Jughead spoke, “I’m sorry.” Y/n sighed, and some tears came out of her eyes. “It’s my parents okay.” We all sat down around her and just let her talk. “They’ve been abusing me ever since they found out I was intersex when I was one. When the ‘friends’ I had in the past found out they just left me alone. some even started to bully me after I told them. That’s why I never told you guys. I Just can’t-” She was full on sobbing at this point and so were we. We all had a group hug and sat there for a while. “I can’t lose you guys,” she whispered. “You would never lose us,” me, Archie, Juggie, and Ronnie all said at the same time and then we all laughed. We slowly let go of our hug. “We love you Y/n.” “I love you guys too.”

my cousin and i’s “top twenty things from riverdale” (as people who haven’t watched since season 3):

1. “you’re diagnosing me with daddy issues?”

2. jingle jangle

3. dark betty

4. “have you ever seen me without this stupid hat? that’s weird!”

5. jughead and betty’s singing battle/every musical sequence on the show.

6. serial killer genes

7. “because we’re endgame archie.”

8. the farm

9. edgar’s rocketship

10. edgar’s wife pretending to be his daughter.

11. ethel coming back every five minutes

12. chic…that is all

13. the gargoyle king

14. “the triumphs and defeats, the epic highs and lows of high school football.”

15. archie’s bear attack that left almost no scarring.

16. monica posh

17. “archiekinz” and “daddykinz”

18. riverdale season 2 episode 14: “the hills have eyes.”

19. cheryl pouring blood all over herself and threatening her mother.

20. mad world.

Cast List for the Sea Titaness and the Serpent's son:

Any Male Actors as Lucas Jones, Your father.

Reader as Y/N Jones, son of Tethys and Lucas Jones.

Willow Shields as Hannah Maiden, the daughter of Rhea and Mary Maiden

Haley Pullos as Ashley Mason, the daughter of Themis and Marcus Mason.

Dylan Playfair as Austin Mason, the son of Eos and Moose's aunt.

Elena Kampouris as Jessamine Spellman, the daughter of Oceanus and Hilda Spellman

Dylan O'Brien as Nathan Keller, the son of Selene and Tom Keller

Ariel Winter as Kelly Keller, the daughter of Selene and Tom Keller

Anna Rezan as Cleo Burble, the daughter of Helios and Mrs. Burble's sister

China Anne McClain as Theresa Walker, the daughter of Mnemosyne and Rosalind's father Thomas Walker

Alexa Nikolas as Samantha Fogarty, the daughter of Hyperion and Fangs' aunt

Aggeliki Daliani as Tethys, the Titaness of the seas and freshwater

Memos Mpegnis as Oceanus, the Titan of the Oceans and the River Okeanos

Melina Kanakaredes as Rhea, the Titaness of Motherhood and Ease

Kora Karvouni as Themis, the Titaness of Divine Law and Justice

Tiffani Thiessen as Eos, the Titaness of Dawn

Amy Sedaris as Mnemosyne, the Titaness of Memories

Anthimos Ananiadis as Hyperion, the Titan of Light

Christos Spanos as Iapetus, the Titan of Pain

Author's notes: I have to researched Greek actors for the Titans. What do y'all think about cast list, I don't know if Dylan O'Brien, Willow Shields, China McClain, and Dylan Playfair has Greek descent, so if y'all find any young actors who has greek descent, let me know so that I can edit the cast list.

i want to make a poll of straightwashed characters* pls send me your favorite straightwashed characters <3

*characters who are either explicitly queer, queer-coded, or VERY HEAVILY implied to be queer that are then stripped of any queer identity in adaptation. examples: jughead (ace in og comics, allo in tv series), loki (genderfluid in og media, cis in movies), sailor uranus and sailor neptune (dating in sub, cousins in dub)

i realised the other day how wildly tonally inappropriate it is to have im a weirdo by the lonely island play at the start of jugheads weird fantasy and it's because it's like a complete relic of when it was gonna be more of a joke thing but i cant think of anything to change it to now. other elements planned for the more downton revisitedesque version included cousin greg from succession living in jughead’s building and a significantly more obvious series of mamma mia and when harry met sally homages

I have theory that Alice and fp are siblings and thats part why jughead is ashamed and while I have posts on why this makes perfect sense I just wanna show you how it makes Alice perspective and actions make more sense

Like ok your Alice you used to be serpent but now your perfect northside girl and you slept with a man that is secretly your brother making your ex gang origins something you would be more ashamed of than you would be anyway you liked being feared but you don't want them to know your secrets

Your daughter is best friends with the man that was besties with your brother in highschool and you told him you slept with your brother and sometimes your brothers son hangs out with your youngest daughter and you wonder if it will all happen again

You hate that you told him that your slept with your brother but you also eternally grateful but you can never tell him

When you discovered your youngest daughter was dating your brothers son you deeply hated it at first until you had to see second youngest daughter on stripper pole at the bar where your familys gang resides and realized that if you didnt your second youngest daughter might end up destitute and you also kinda like the kid he has your smarts and felt like your childhood in comforting way also he's your nephew how you could not

you find out your oldest daughter had kids with her technically cousin on her fathers side and you panicked you hate the blossoms because they are a lot like you but eventually you embrace your oldest daughter again

You help raise her kids who are eerily reminiscent of your husband who you've always suspected and eventually confirmed was a serial killer and you wonder if every man you've ever loved in all your capacity is violent and crazy you becoming increasingly concerned about your daughters purity and image being perfect because you think her life will be better if she's never like you

You end up dating your brother after his ex finally leaves their family forever because fuck all this your work with your inbred son who now works the FBI and maybe he's good

You submit yourself to join in cult in your youngest daughters junior year in highschool cause you don't feel worth living your brother husband is very bad sheriff but your not surprised and you don't have the heart to care

At least you have your niece and nephew and your second daughter and your first daughters kid and your inbred FBI son and your nephew and youngest daughter are working in the FBI with your inbred son and they're doing good things maybe

You find out your brothers daughter was the one that recreated the most recent trauma of your youngest daughter and nephew via creepy puppet show and you discover you inbred FBI son is serial killer

Your brother takes his daughter on the road and you wonder what's the point in trying but at least your nephew and youngest daughter are going to college maybe everything will be alright