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ineffablecooking · 2 years

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Ineffable Cooking Presents:

An Obscenely Historically Accurate Apple "Turnover" (An inaccurate recipe) 🍎🥧

From Temple of the Muses

By @ajconstantine

Obscenely accurate? Yes. This is a historical fiction AU set in the Victorian era and every minute detail has been researched incredibly thoroughly...that apple detail in the intro? The author and I spoke. She did the research. Apples were not in season in the month of April in England in 1841. So she wrote apple preserves into the story.

And we stan.

"Turnover" Filling Ingredients:

3 pounds (about 7-9 apples) baking apples, peeled, cored, and sliced thinly

1 tablespoon lemon juice

½ cup (100 grams) packed light brown sugar

¼ cup (50 grams) granulated sugar

1–½ teaspoon ground cinnamon

¼ teaspoon grated nutmeg

Pinch salt

2 tablespoons (14 g) cornstarch

¾ cup + 2 tablespoon fresh apple cider, divided 2 teaspoon vanilla extract

2 tablespoons unsalted butter

(This pampered chef product has followed me since the early 2000's and I plan to be buried with it)

Direrctions

1. Add apples, lemon juice, brown sugar, granulated sugar, cinnamon, nutmeg and salt to a heavy bottom pot. Stir together and let macerate at room temperature for about 15 minutes. Add ¾ cup of apple cider to the pot, and stir the apples one more time.

2. Turn the heat to medium and begin to cook the apples, stirring occasionally to make sure the apples cook evenly. Cook until the apples have softened, about 10 minutes, making sure not to cook off all of the liquid. If the liquid does cook off quickly, add ⅓ cup more apple cider to the pot.

3. Create a slurry by whisking together the cornstarch and remaining 2 tablespoons apple cider together in a small seperate bowl.

(I put that last part in bold because mistakes were made. The blur is me frantically whisking cornstarch)

4. Pour the cornstarch slurry into apples and stir together until dissolved. Continue cooking until the mixture is thickened, about 2-3 minutes.

5. Remove from heat and stir in the vanilla and butter.

Often turnovers are made with puff pastry. But for what I wanted ro do to achieve the heart shape I used pie crust.

(Pillsbury is standard)

Also why is "Turnover" in quotes? Because:

"turnover, individual pie formed by folding a piece of pastry in half over a filling. The open edges are pressed or crimped together to enclose the filling during cooking and eating. Turnovers may be baked or fried."

-Google

And because of the process involved, we can't legally call these turnovers:

6. Position a rack in the middle of the oven and heat the oven to 425 degrees. Line another baking sheet with parchment paper (Or cooking spray. Or not. You do you.)

7. Cut several heart shapes out and spread on a baking sheet

7. Take your filling and spoon very very small amounts onto half of the hearts on the sheet

I cant emphasise how messy and it was trying to seal the hearts close. If you think you didn't put enough filling onto your spoon, you're wrong. Trust me it's plenty.

8. Seal the hearts by pinching the edges together as best you can (a fork wouldn't work because I wanted to keep the hearts small and the amount of filling kept pushing it out the other side of the pocket)

9. Cross your hearts!!

10. Do an egg wash and top with some sugar.

11. Bake for 20-25 minutes or until golden

These "turnovers" were amazing and I believe I ate the majority of the ones pictured in this photo. I didn't even want to attempt to do a foldover tenchnique, hence the cookie cutter, but honestly I doubt I could've made something remotely this cute, this successfully, this quickly.

HIGHLY recommend the filling recipe, and you know what I recommend make all food heart shaped, because Aziraphale's right, that is darling!

#ineffable cooking #good omens #recipes #apple turnover #but not really #aj constantine #temple of the muses

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smidgen-of-hotboy · 4 months

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@one-joe-spoopy you asked a few days ago about Miasma in my monster hunter au. It has taken me two days, but I've reached a point where I'm content enough to share my thoughts finally (and @esquemeencanta I haven't forgotten you Jove <3)

This is the tale behind Juno losing his original eye to Miasma. Sometime after this encounter he gets a new enchanted magical eye from Ramses O'Flaherty, finds out he's a changeling actually named Jack Takano, and after that shit storm, Juno gouges the magical eye out himself (almost dies trying). The continuation picking up with Hunter Steel and Hunter Glass is in the back of my mind. I've been fried trying to think of how Juno fights a monster he knows next to nothing about, and how he's supposed to do it alone (because ya know- he's stubborn like that)

! Obligatory guts, gore, blood, and violence and angst warning !

Juno works for the Hyperion Monster Hunter Association. He's brought Rita along with him and together they've been doing pretty well. Falco reached out a handful of times but after enough missed calls caught on that Juno wasn't going to come back to HCPD. By then, Juno had made a name for himself as a hunter in Hyperion. He was seeked out for personal jobs often enough that he didn't need to rely on the job postings from the HMHA. Sometimes though he still takes a posting.

There had been a few postings for a series of disruptions in the valleys down south of Hyperion City for a few months. Other Hunters had taken up the jobs and died trying to hunt down whatever monster was out there. Reports from the Cerberus Province were coming in:

Puddles of black gunk have been forming overnight. Anything that steps in it immediately sinks to the bottom. It is unclear if there even is a bottom to these pools.

Vehicles are being broken into and stripped for parts.

Earthquakes are being recorded, rumbling every few hours like clock work. This area is not known for experiencing earthquakes.

Other monsters have been found dead, disembowled and drained of their blood.

Juno takes the latest job request and gets Rita to look over some survey maps taken of the area. She finds that where the monster carcasses are turning up, there was a puddle of gunk there previously. She says she may be able to find out more if Juno can collect a sample. He obliges and returns to her a day later with a small jar full of gunk. His hands smell like burnt tar.

Rita runs a few tests on the jar of gunk and she finds that it has a mostly liquid state, but when disturbed it solidifies. A non-newtonian liquid. Like water mixed with cornstarch. It oozes slowly but seizes up when jostled. Rita makes a comment that she can't stand the smell, "it must taste pretty bad too. Don't know why any monsters would be getting so close to it." Juno unscrews the jar and sticks his finger in it. Rita watches horrified from her computer at their office as Juno proceeds to sniff the gunk (bad idea), and lick it (super disgusting idea).

Juno finds that even though the gunk smells bad, it tastes... okay. Little bit of a burnt wood taste to it, but nothing awful. It's almost sweet. Kind of savory. He goes around asking other hunters at the HMHA to try it and many refuse. The ones that do all come to the same conclusion as him: a little burnt, kind of sweet and savory.

One Hunter boldly takes the jar from Juno and spills it out over a table. Nothing happens at first as it slowly spreads out, but soon enough it's like the gunk has a mind of its own. It begins to almost crawl. It "oozes" across the table. Juno slams the jar back over it, the other hunter tries to frantically scoop it back into one mass. They eventually get it in a cup and back into the glass jar. Rita is not impressed when she hears about their sheer stupidity.

Juno brings the jar home and shows it to Ben. This whole time Ben has been hearing about the ooze from Juno and listening to his calls with Rita, but hasn't actually seen it. He looks at it in the jar and takes a good whiff ("Juno what the hell... you licked this? Gross... will I lick it? Yeah sure- when I'm dead! Put that lid back on or so help me.") Ben asks Juno what happens when it's introduced to heat. He says he isn't sure but according to Rita,

"In theory, it should just solidify. Non-Newtonian fluids cannot withstand extreme heat. The liquidity part evaporates. Just leaving the solid-ity part."

"I'm impressed. You listened to her."

Juno frowns. "I always listen to Rita."

"That's not what I meant. I meant: you listened to her, and you even sound like her now."

"... haha, very funny Benten... do you want to help me find out what happens when you introduce this stuff to fire or not though?"

Ben and Juno are both extremely smart in their own ways. They are also both extremely dumb in the same way. Ben lights the stove, Juno holds the jar with a pair of tongs, and they watch with bated breath as the gunk tries to hop out of the jar as it gets hotter. Eventually it stops moving altogether. And sure enough, when Juno removes it from the stove and lets it cool, it's solid.

Ben asks Juno what he's going to do and Juno simply says he's going on a Hunt.

"You can't be serious? Juno- this is dangerous. You're going to literally be playing with fire."

"I can handle it."

"Juno- I'm serious. Take this seriously."

"I am."

"Then you'll listen to me when I say, it'll make me feel a whole lot better if you take someone with you."

"You know that's not how this works Benten-"

"A Kanagawa hunter would be more than willing to work with you. Hell- what's her name Big Eyes would probably kill to work with you again."

"BENZAITEN! Enough! This is my job alright? I don't tell you how your recitals should be going or what stretches you need to be doing! You don't get to boss me around about how my Hunts go. End of discussion."

"Juno-"

"No. We're done. I'm going to bed, and tomorrow, I'm going on my hunt."

Juno goes to bed without saying goodnight. He wakes up and leaves for the office without eating or saying good morning. Ben calls but he doesn't answer. He calls Rita and Rita relays the message "just tell him I'll be waiting at home and- good luck."

Juno takes with him his pistol, shotgun, a flask of vodka, canisters of gasoline, a box of matches (Ben's brand), and an empty glass milk jar. He drives out to the valleys between HC and the CP to the largest black pool and starts pouring gasoline into and around it. He brought five of them with him. Rita said that his plan was dangerous. ("maybe we can get a hold of Ms. Cassandra and find out if-" "I'm not bringing Cass into this. This is my hunt. I'm doing it my way.") She made him agree that if she didnt hear back from Juno in an hour, she would call Juno, and if he failed to pick up she'd ask for assistance ("I ain't takin no as an answer Mista Steel." "You and Benzaiten worry too much." "Sorry Boss, but you're important to us.")

Juno stands back as he strikes a match and tosses it into the gas. He watches the pool erupt in flame. The ground trembles underneath him. Juno falls backwards. Something rises out of the pool... a monster.

Covered in black gunk, reeking of burnt tar, a monster on fire towers over him. She hisses and squeals. She would be beautiful if half her face wasn't torn off and the other half on fire. Black tentacles rise with her. She has a maw full of razor sharp teeth that go around and around in rings. In that moment, Juno knew he was fucked and would likely die. But if theres one thing being a Steel had prepared him for, its to not go down without a fight.

Juno brings around his shotgun and fires. He lands two bullets that lodge themselves in the monster. She hisses and growls, lunging at him. Her hands are sharp talons. They dig into his shoulders and drag him through the ground. Forgotten is the flask and jar. She rises again towering over him. He takes aim and fires another shot that embeds itself in her shoulder. She howls, a tentacle comes slicing through the air. He rolls out of the way in time and continues rolling as more trail after him.

He remembers the flask when it falls out of his coat. He takes hold of it and unscrews the cap, gulping a mouthful and holding it in his cheeks. With shaking hands he reaches for another match and lights it. He turns and spits the vodka into the flame, lighting a trail of flames that follows a tentacle of black tar. It spreads and the monster catches fire, screeching, leaving Juno time to unholster his pistol. He takes aim and fires off a few more rounds at her, slowly limping his way back where he dropped his shotgun and the milk jar. Finally, one of his bullets lands at her core. The monsters screeching turns to silent wailing.

Her size has shrunk as most of her body has caught fire, the rest is riddled with silver bullets. She clutches two appendages over her chest where the last bullet struck. Frantically trying to dig it out. She slowly tries to slip away as Juno grabs his jar and makes the dumbest decision he could've ever done: he runs towards her. He holsters his pistol, unscrews the jar and keeps the lid in one hand. The monster musters what remaining strength she has as both of the appendages over her chest shoot out. Two things happen at once:

One. Everything comes down to a singular point of pain. Juno feels it as his eye gets scooped out and he just about blacks out.

Two. He successfully scoops the monsters core inside the jar. The lid comes down on it, and monster screams as she shrinks to fit inside her small prison.

Juno has just enough strength left in him to screw the lid on. He blacks out shortly after.

(Ben calls Juno and then calls Rita when he can't reach him. He insist she call him right then and there because "something is wrong. I know it. Rita- listen to me. Call it' call it twin intuition, alright." Intrigued by this Rita calls Juno and when he doesn't answer her she calls in Cassandra.

Cass says she isn't in the mood to save Steel’s sorry ass. Ben takes Rita's comms from her to speak to Cass directly, "You owe me Kanagawa. I'm calling in your favor to me. And if you don't uphold our deal Cassandra, I will make your family's life hell." Rita has always liked Benten. That day she understood what Juno means by "Ben strikes the fear of Benzaiten into you".

Cass rides out to the valleys on her motorbike and finds a giant gaping hole in the ground. Beside it- Juno Steel. Cass turns him over carefully removing the milk jar. She sees his fucked up face and hauls him inside his truck. She tosses his shotgun in the backseat and straps the jar in next to her as she floors it back to Hyperion City. When Ben meets her at the hospital she apologizes and says she still owes Ben his favor, she shouldn't have brushed Rita off so quickly. All Ben does is tell her to leave. Rita promises to give her a call when Juno comes around.)

Juno wakes up in the hospital. He panics unable to see out of one eye. He tries to sit up and falls back groaning and grunting in pain. Something shifts next to him and he turns his head. It's Benzaiten. Bathed in golden light.

"Do you remember what Ma used to say, whenever she found us fighting? Fighting over the Andromeda costumes and Turbo toys?"

"Benten-" Juno wheezes and coughs. Ben turns and fills a glass with water. He carefully hands it over to Juno without a word.

"Ma used to say that we shouldn't fight. She didn't want us to fight because when it came down to it, there was only us in the world. She said- if we wanted to get flattened, we go and lie down in the road, but we aren't supposed to do that to each other." Ben smiles. At least Juno thinks he sees him smile. The sun glares behind him creating the perfect halo. An angel. Juno's angel.

"Ma said that when she was gone, we would have to rely on each other, and that meant we couldn't fight. We need someone else so that when we're not tough enough, they can be." He takes a shaking breath. Juno sips his water and parts his lips. Ben shakes his head and holds a hand up. "Save it, I'm not done.

"Ma said a lot of things before she died. She wanted nothing but the best for us Juno. She wanted us to look out for each other, wanted us to fight the big mean world together, and she wanted us to live. I know you never believed her. I know you don't believe her now- but she was ours. She was- Ma. And you're my brother. Ma is gone. Annie is gone. Oldtown is dying. Sasha left. Mick can hardly take care of himself. And you're all I have left Juno... I need you Juno. I need you to be alive for me because I can't be tough enough for this world. I want you alive... why can't you want that for yourself."

Benzaiten stands from the chair he's in and walks around Junos hospital bed. In proper light Juno can see the bags under his eyes and the tears streaking down his cheeks. He takes the glass from Juno's shaking hands and sets it aside. He pulls Juno against him and half folds his body over, half shields his twin.

The same mouth. Same hands. Juno broke his nose when they were still kids. Ben broke his ankle a year ago. Their noses are different. The way they walk has changed. But the one thing that no one could take away was their matching gaze. Their matching eyes.

(Ben leaves the hospital to visit Rita. She welcomed him inside her home without a second thought. She opens a window and sits down at her breakfast table while Ben takes a cigarette from his pocket and lights it. He takes a long draw and holds the smoke in his lungs for a long moment. He exhales slowly. His tears have long since dried. He thought he cried himself out at Ma's funeral. He was wrong.)

Juno goes back out to the site in the valleys a few weeks later with Cass. She took the jar and kept it to herself. When she saw Juno in the hospital she asked about it. He just said to turn it over to Rita and she'd take care of it from there (to this day Rita still has it in her personal office at home. The monster watches her work. She finds it easier to work when she has something to explain her thought process to and the monster is frequently subjected to that. When she's not home Rita keeps it locked up inside a safe next to emergency bac up shrimp crunchies.)

Cass and Juno explore the gaping hole together. (Cass pulled her weight as a Kanagawa and had the site quarantined off from other hunters and the public). They find a whole underground network of chambers and lab equipment. Journals and notes. Juno flips through a few pages and together this is what they piece together:

Doctor Miasma was a human doctor. She learned about fae medicine and was desperate to get her hands on it by any means possible. In order to get any though she needed to cross over. So. She did. She forcibly opened her own portals and exchanged parts of herself, constantly replacing whatever she lost. Her arms, her legs, half her face. Eventually she gave up the last thing she had to offer: her humanity.

Miasma awoke a monster in the fae wilds. She used intimidation to force them to open a portal for her to cross back home. She created her underground lab and stocked it with soup. She ran experiments on herself. With practice she honed her hunting skills and had her first taste of fae blood.

Shortly thereafter Miasma lost more than her body and humanity. She lost her memories. She lost her name. She forgot her title, forgot her research, and simply became a monster that consumed.

Some part of her must have remembered something though. She broke cars and stole parts from them trying to build a machine to harness magic and open portals. Even after giving up everything, Miasma was still trying to get back to the fae realm

Cass finds the rotting corpses of dead monsters. Their blood not yet drained.

Juno's seen enough and with Cass' help climbs out of the hole.

"Cass- you write the report."

"Huh? Why? This was your Hunt. I don't need the credit or the money."

"And I don't want the attention it's going to bring. Write it. If you have questions call Rita."

(Cass swears this will be the last nice thing she does for Juno. She writes the report and hands it over to the HMHA. The senior hunters of the association are confused why she's handing in the paperwork. She shrugs and tells them "Steel doesn't want to handle the guts." The Kanagawas come in and clean everything out. Cecil does a live stream special walking through "the lab of a monster". Juno reads the newspaper in the kitchen while Ben makes them breakfast. Life carries on.)

#the “burnt yet savory taste” juno describes is bc she taste like burnt soup. burnt chicken noodle soup.#i ought to just start compiling a google doc for this au this shit is getting outta hand #the penumbra podcast #monster hunter penumbra au #private eye's keys go jingle jangle #smth about junos connection to ben is so so special and important to me #i started this au in my head years ago bc i wanted a silly au where ben is alive and he and juno bicker a bunch #and i still hold that close to my chest only now tho ben is a lot more fleshed out and his own person #ALSO PLEASE DO NOT TRY FIREBREATHING LIKE JUNO DOES AT HOME #that is NOT proper technique nor safety practices #juno steel the monster hunter is fiction and if i say he is dumb but doesnt get burned then thats just what happens. is it 100% realistic?#hell. no. he is fiction. his face is fiction. you and your face are not.#he succeeds because we can suspend our disbelief. we/you/i would fail because thats how the real world works.#just. thought id make it clear that i know it isnt the most realistic and therefore very dangerous but shhhh- shhhh....

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najia-cooks · 1 year

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[ID: Several small, triangular samosas piled on a plate. Their skins are studded with small brown seeds. Two of the samosas are cut open to show their deep brown filling. End ID.]

Samusa / စမူဆာ (Burmese samosas)

Burmese samusa are smaller than Indian samosas, and their fillings tend to have a different spice profile. This recipe for potato samusa features a filling flavored with turmeric and black mustard seed and made richly sweet with the addition of jaggery—a tamarind dipping sauce adds tartness, saltiness, and umami. Leftover samusa are also excellent in samusa thouk—a brightly savory soup commonly made with split chickpeas and tamarind.

Recipe under the cut!

Patreon | Tip jar

Makes 8.

INGREDIENTS:

For the dough:

1/2 cup (60g) all-purpose flour

1/4 tsp salt

1/2 tsp carom seeds (ajwain)

1 Tbsp vegetable oil

About 2 Tbsp water

For the filling:

1 1/3 cup minced potato (1 large, 160g)--or boiled and mashed

1/2 small yellow onion, minced (2 Tbsp)

1 large jalapeño, minced (2 Tbsp)

15 mint leaves, minced

2 1/2 tsp turmeric

2 tsp ground Kashmiri chili (mirchi), or to taste*

2-4 tsp jaggery or brown sugar

1 1/2 tsp carom seeds (ajwain), toasted and ground

3/4 tsp brown mustard seeds (rai), toasted and ground

1 tsp cornstarch (optional)**

2 Tbsp neutral oil

*Mirchi consists of dried ground red chili peppers and is different from chili powder, which contains additional spices. If you don't have any, you may use another type of ground red chiil (prik bon, gochugaru, cayenne pepper) or grind dried red chilis yourself in a spice grinder or mortar and pestle.

**The cornstarch helps the filling stay compact and non-soggy. I have, however, omitted it before without anything terrible happening.

For the dipping sauce:

2 Tbsp tamarind paste*

1 Tbsp vegan fish sauce (such as Au Lac)**

1 Tbsp soy sauce

1 Tbsp jaggery or brown sugar

1/2" chunk (5g) ginger, grated

2 cloves garlic, grated

3-4 Thai bird's eye chili peppers, minced

*You may also use tamarind pulp, soaked in warm water for about 20 minutes and then mashed into a paste.

**Fish sauce tastes fermented and salty, not necessarily like fish. If you don't have a vegetarian fish sauce imitation on hand, you may use any fermented soybean product (fermented bean curd, doenjang, miso paste, light soy sauce) plus 1/4 tsp of salt.

To fry:

Several cups of a neutral oil

INSTRUCTIONS:

For the dough:

1. If measuring by weight, spoon flour gently into a dry measuring cup and then level off. In a small mixing bowl, add all dough ingredients except water and mix until well-combined.

2. Add water 1/2 Tbsp at a time until a smooth, slightly tacky dough forms. It should not crumble or form lines at the edges when formed into a ball and pressed flat.

3. Allow dough to rest for 20 minutes while you prepare the filling.

For the filling:

1. If using whole spices, toast carom and mustard seeds in a dry skillet over medium heat for a few minutes until fragrant. Grind using a spice grinder or mortar and pestle.

2. Heat 2 Tbsp of a neutral oil on medium in a skillet. Add onion and fry for a few minutes until translucent.

3. Add ground spices (carom seeds, mustard seeds, turmeric, chili) and allow to bloom in the oil for 30 seconds.

4. Add jalapeño and fry for a minute or two.

5. Add minced potato and salt and fry on low until tender. If potatoes are still not tender and seem dry, add a teaspoon of water and cover to steam until they are soft. (If you are using mashed potato, just add it to the pan.)

6. Add mint and jaggery and cook, stirring constantly, until jaggery dissolves. Set aside and stir in cornstarch.

For the dipping sauce:

1. In a small bowl, whisk all ingredients together.

To assemble:

1. Divide your dough into four equal sections (each of mine weighed about 24 grams)--each of these will make four samusa. Divide the filling into eight equal portions. Take one ball and cover the dough that you are not working with.

2. On a lightly floured surface, roll out the ball of dough into a circle about 6" (15cm) in width, or about as large as you can make it--the dough should be translucent in places. You can do this by rolling out from the center to the edge, then rotating the rolling pin and repeating the motion, until you have gone all the way around the circle.

The carom seeds may form small holes around themselves as you roll out the dough--this is normal and these will close again as you shape the samusa.

3. Using a sharp knife, cut the dough circle in half. Set one half aside and cover it to avoid drying out. Place one portion of filling in the center of your piece of dough. Optionally, wet the edges of the dough to make sealing easier.

4. Fold one of the triangular sides of your piece of dough (in my pictures, this is the one at the top) over the filling. Repeat on the other side, overlapping the first piece of dough slightly, to cover the filling and create a triangular point on the bottom edge (on the left, in my picture). Press to seal.

5. Fold the still-open edge back over the samusa to seal in the filling completely and create a triangular shape.

If you are inexperienced with rolling out dough, you may not be able to get the dough thin enough to fold over a whole portion of filling--if so, just reduce the amount of filling in each samusa. If you're not confident that your samusa are fully sealed, you may (instead of deep-frying) pan-fry them in 1/2" (1 cm) of neutral oil, turning once, until both sides are golden brown.

To fry:

1. Fill a small pot with a few inches of oil and heat it to 350 °F (175 °C). A piece of bread dropped into the oil should slowly begin to form bubbles--if it browns and floats immediately, your oil is too hot.

2. Using a slotted spoon, gently lower samusa into the oil. Depending on the size of your pot, you may need to do this in batches--try not to cover more than half of the surface area of the oil, to avoid temperature fluctuations.

3. Fry, flipping occasionally, until golden brown on all sides. Set aside on a wire cooling rack or a paper-towel-lined plate.

4. Optionally, to produce very crispy samusa, fry them again at 370 °F (188 °C). If you want to save some of the samusa to eat later, fry them once and freeze; immediately before serving, fry again.

Serve immediately with dipping sauce. Leftover samusa are sometimes eaten with samusa soup.

#cooking #vegan cooking #recipe #vegan recipe #Burmese #samusa #potatoes #jaggery #tamarind

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springtiger95 · 11 months

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Tarte au citron meringuée recipe

INGREDIENTS:

For the crust:

1 ½ cups (180g) all-purpose flour

½ cup (115g) unsalted butter, cold and cut into small cubes

¼ cup (50g) granulated sugar

1 egg yolk

1-2 tablespoons ice water

For the lemon filling:

1 cup (240ml) freshly squeezed lemon juice

Zest of 2 lemons

1 cup (200g) granulated sugar

1/4 cup (30g) cornstarch

4 large eggs

1/4 teaspoon salt

1/4 cup (60g) unsalted butter

For the meringue topping:

4 large egg whites

1/4 teaspoon cream of tartar

1/2 cup (100g) granulated sugar

>>> Video tutorial here <;<<

PREPARATION:

Preheat the oven: Preheat your oven to 350°F (175°C)

Prepare the crust:

In a food processor, combine the flour, cold butter, and sugar. Pulse until the mixture resembles coarse crumbs.

Add the egg yolk and pulse again.

Gradually add the ice water, one tablespoon at a time, and pulse until the dough comes together.

Gather the dough into a ball, flatten it into a disk, wrap it in plastic wrap, and refrigerate for about 30 minutes.

Roll out the dough:

On a lightly floured surface, roll out the dough into a circle slightly larger than your tart pan.

Transfer the dough to a 9-inch (23 cm) tart pan with a removable bottom. Press the dough into the bottom and sides of the pan. Trim any excess dough hanging over the edges.

>>> Video tutorial here <;<<

Blind bake the crust:

Line the crust with parchment paper and fill it with pie weights or dried beans.

Bake the crust in the preheated oven for about 15 minutes.

Remove the weights and parchment paper, then bake for an additional 5 minutes or until the crust turns golden brown.

Remove from the oven and let it cool.

Prepare the lemon filling:

In a medium saucepan, combine the lemon juice, lemon zest, sugar, cornstarch, eggs, and salt.

Whisk the mixture together until well combined and smooth.

Place the saucepan over medium heat and cook the mixture, stirring constantly, until it thickens to a custard-like consistency.

Remove the saucepan from the heat and whisk in the butter until melted and incorporated.

Pour the lemon filling into the cooled crust.

>>> Video tutorial here <;<<

Make the meringue topping:

In a clean, dry bowl, beat the egg whites and cream of tartar using an electric mixer until soft peaks form.

Gradually add the sugar while continuing to beat until stiff, glossy peaks form.

Assemble and bake the tart:

Spread the meringue over the lemon filling, making sure to cover the entire surface and create decorative peaks.

Bake the tart in the preheated oven for about 10-15 minutes, or until the meringue turns golden brown.

Cool and serve:

Remove the tart from the oven and let it cool to room temperature.

Once cooled, refrigerate for a few hours to set.

Serve chilled and enjoy!

>>> Video tutorial here <<<

#cooking #foodie #recipe #cookingtips #homecooking #foodblog #frenchpastry #french pastry #patisserie #french baking #french dessert #french recipes #pastrychef #bakinginspiration #french cuisine #homemadepastry #french food

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marvelmaniac715 · 10 months

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This is part eighteen of my human Chucky au. This story is more suited for Halloween, but I got an idea and I just had to write it. It’s another Glen fic, and like all fics in this au, until the twins are fourteen they’ll go by he/him (Glen) and she/her (Glenda). Glen is seven in this fic, and he’s visiting a haunted house. Please don’t ask why I got this idea at this time of year, I just really liked it.

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The ‘Witch Doctor’ song was blaring out of a broken speaker. The air smelled like hay and pumpkins (don’t ask how). Screeching children and teenagers were running all over the place, and, not for the first time that evening, Chucky was cursing his luck as he held his seven year old son’s small, woollen glove clad hand in his larger bare one.

It hadn’t been his idea to come to this godforsaken place, in fact he’d been a vocal supporter of staying home and renting a PG rated ‘scary’ movie. Halloween used to be fun when he was a kid, back when children could go outside all day then get called in for dinner. Nowadays, trick or treating was harder to do because of ‘stranger danger’.

In fact, Glen himself hadn’t wanted to come either, the kid’s idea of a fun Halloween was watching old cartoon Halloween specials with his twin sister, but Glenda was off at some sort of Halloween themed all-girls sleepover that Glen hadn’t been invited to, so Tiffany had insisted upon Chucky taking his son to the haunted house that was opened near town square to make up for it. He’d almost gotten out of it, but Tiffany reminded him that Glen was very sad that he had nothing to do on Halloween night, so Chucky accepted under the condition that it would be a quick in and out procedure.

So, here they were, frostbitten to the core, ears ringing with the borderline offensive ‘Witch Doctor’ song, regretting their life choices (ever seen a seven year old have a midlife crisis? Well, that’s what Glen was having) as the line for the haunted house got shorter and shorter. As another screaming set of teenagers ran out of the haunted house, Glen squeezed his father’s hand and gave him a frightened look. Chucky immediately understood this look, and squeezed his son’s hand back tighter as he said:

“Hey, bud, I know. Your mom wanted you to see this, and I couldn’t get us out of it. It’s really cheesy, isn’t it?”

Glen shook his head, his eyes widening and filling with frightened tears. Seeing this, Chucky frowned as he came to a realisation.

“Wait, you’re actually scared, aren’t you?”

Glen nodded and sniffled in shame, looking down at the ground and biting his bottom lip, face going red. Chucky felt like an idiot, how could he be so stupid? Of course Glen was scared, the poor kid had never been able to handle jump-scares or anything like that, and the screaming teenagers probably convinced him that the haunted house was so scary that even ‘big kids’ were terrified.

Chucky thought for a moment, before deciding on a plan that just might work. Bending down slowly, the man lifted his son into his arms, rubbing the boy’s back as he confided:

“Hey, I’ve seen a lot of scary movies, and what you’ve gotta learn is that there’s a bunch of tropes. There’s only so many things they can try and use to scare you, and I’ll bet none of them will be that scary. Any blood you see will likely be cornstarch, and all of the ‘monsters’ are just actors. None of it’s real, you know that, right buddy?”

Glen nodded, but he looked unconvinced, so Chucky continued.

“Besides, like I said, I’ve seen a lot of scary movies. I know how to defeat most of the things in there, so if we come across any monster that frightens you, even just a little bit, let me know and I’ll tell you the top secret ways to make them scared, alright?”

This made Glen very excited, and the boy nodded again, but this time with a large grin on his face. With his newfound courage, Glen willingly agreed to enter the haunted house. If anything scared him, he would nuzzle into his father’s shoulder and listen attentively as the man whispered advice such as ‘a silver bullet’s guaranteed to take out a werewolf, or a dog whistle for that matter’ and ‘Frankenstein hates fire, just light a match and he’ll run for the hills’.

It was all going so well, and they were nearly at the exit, with a dozen pictures taken during the process to prove to Tiffany that they’d went. But in the final room, an actor portraying a vampire got… a little too enthusiastic in his attempts to scare Glen.

Seemingly frustrated that none of his coworkers had prompted so much as a flinch out of the seven-year-old, the actor decided to pluck Glen from his father’s arms and toss him into the air. Chucky was already angry about this, but what made him even more furious was when the actor lost his footing, causing Glen to land on the hard, cobblestoned ground with a harsh thud.

Chucky can’t quite recall what happened after that, it returns to him in flashes. He can remember rushing to his son’s side and examining him for injuries, thankful that his son’s fall had only resulted in a bloody nose. Then, he remembers his right hand balling into a fist as he punched someone, possibly the vampire actor. Then Chucky can remember being hauled out of the haunted house by staff, cursing them out the whole time and threatening to involve his lawyer.

Tiffany wasn’t pleased to hear about her husband’s behaviour, but for a month afterwards, Glen would brag to anyone who would listen with a great big smile on his face:

“My daddy punched a vampire!”

#chucky #chucky series #childs play #seed of chucky #charles lee ray #tiffany valentine #chiffany #glen ray #glenda ray #horror #fanfiction #human chucky #human tiffany #human au

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xerox-candybar · 2 years

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everything’s pushing up daisies

Fandom: Jujutsu Kaisen

Genre: I have combined all of Flufftober and all of Whumptober. I call it ‘Flumptober’ (nobody dies, there is a guaranteed happy ending but things are getting kind of heavy so I will probably untag the fluff.)

Prompts: Candles (Flufftober )/ Proof of Life (Whumptober)

Summary: In a Flower Shop, AU nothing can hurt you… or can it? (Spoiler alert: if it’s a mafia-run business, it can and will.) Gojo and Sukuna are rival mob bosses, each channeling illicit income through their own little ‘flower shop.’ Itadori just needs a job, but he’s getting much more than that—mostly trouble. Can he set things right before it’s too late?

Chapter 6: Nanami gets interrogated, and then some unexpected assistance. Gojo lectures Sukuna on the care and keeping of hostages. Sukuna gets a surprise package. The plot thickens with cornstarch.

[[read the whole thing on ao3]]

#whumptober2022 #no.6 #proof of life #jjk #jujutsu kaisen #fanfic #jujutsu kaisen fanfic #nanami kento x gojo satoru #nanami x gojo #itadori x fushiguro #itadori yuuji x fushiguro megumi #ryomen sukuna #Flumptober 2022 #everything's pushing up daisies

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indigayghost · 1 year

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Ask game!!! I love games

"get to know me" ask game! Tagged by @zebrashavestripes <3

Fave Ships: I mean probably all of the wwdits ones ahdhdyudjdi my memory is shit so I'm really bad at remembering those... Oh oh! Recently I've been reading a loooot of S/D tier and Geraskefer fics so that counts right

First Ship: shit. Hm... Probably some self incert. OH YEAH WHEN I WAS LITTLE I HAD A SONIC X SELF INCERT AND I WAS OBSESSED WITH SHADOWS AND KNUCKLES AHDHDYSJ that says a lot about me I think

Currently Reading: Tea Dragon Society!!! Oh I read heartstoper recently and a comic about a vampire and werewolf couple but I don't remember the name :(

Last Song: I slept listening to a random sleep playlist and the last song was "Escapism" by A. Blomqvist but the last song I was awake to listen to probably was "Me Myself and I" by 5sos

Last Movie: yesterday I watched Wendel and Wild! And finished Disenchanted

Currently Watching: I'm LITERALLY watching Strange World right now I paused the movie to answer this ahdydusjs but I'm also trying to finish iwtv

Consuming: (off topic but consuming is a funny word I like it) I ate sopinha de bolacha for breakfast today. It's coffee and milk and then you take cornstarch wafers (we call it bolacha maizena I don't know if you have it where you live but it's very good I like it) and mix it all together like a mash it's very baby food makes me all fuzzy

Currently Working On: a lot. Like. A lot of things. That I'll probably never finish because I'm very bad at this ahdydusjs. I'm trying to learn how to knit it have been being a mess I don't have the hand coordination for this (people who knits always says things like ow crochet is so much harder then knit but like WHAT OF COURSE NOT I LEARNED TO CROCHET IN 30MIN AND I'M TRYING AND FAILING TO HOLD THE KNIT NEEDLES FOR TWO DAYS) I'm also writing my slayer au fic and a post s3 fic and a Nandor and baby Colin fic there's a lot of fics really also I'm sewing a blouse for myself it's really cute I just need to add the details now

Welp I'm not gonna tag people because I don't know if they like being tagged but anyone who wants to join feel free o love to know those things about people hihi

#ask game

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fatboysrecipes · 11 months

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Strawberry Cheesecake

Ingredients:

Cups Metric CHEESECAKE BISCUIT BASE: ▢200g / 7oz Arnott’s Marie crackers or other plain biscuit (Aus) or 28 Graham Cracker squares (Note 1) ▢120 g / 8 tbsp unsalted butter , melted CHEESECAKE FILLING: ▢1 lb / 500g cream cheese , softened (Note 2) ▢2 tbsp plain flour (all purpose flour) ▢1 tsp vanilla extract ▢1/2 cup sour cream (full fat, sub sour cream) ▢1 1/2 cups caster sugar (superfine sugar) ▢Zest of 1 lemon ▢3 eggs , at room temperature STRAWBERRY TOPPING FOR CHEESECAKE: ▢500g / 1 lb strawberries , half diced and half halved ▢2 tbsp lemon juice OR water (Note 3) ▢1/2 cup white sugar ▢1/2 tsp vanilla extract ▢1 1/2 tsp cornflour/cornstarch ▢2 tbsp water

👨‍🍳 🍲GET FREE EBOOK WITH 322 SOUTHERN RECIPES 👩‍🍳🍳

Instructions:

Preheat oven to 160C/320F (standard) or 140C/295F (fan/convection).

Get a 20cm/8″ springform cake tin. Turn the base UPSIDE DOWN (Note 4), butter lightly and place a square piece of parchment/baking paper on the base. Then clip into the springform pan – excess paper will stick out, see photos in post and video.

Butter and line the side of the pan.

CHEESECAKE BISCUIT BASE:

Break up biscuits roughly by hand and place in a food processor.

Blitz until fine crumbs (Note 5). Add butter, briefly blitz until dispersed and it resembles wet sand.

Pour into the prepared cake tin. Use a spatula to roughly spread it out over the base and up the walls.

Use something with a flat base and vertical edges (I used a measuring cup) to press the crumbs up the wall almost to the top of the sides, and flatten the base.

FILLING:

Use a mixer or beater to beat the cream cheese until just smooth, no longer than 20 seconds on speed 4. (You do not want to aerate cheesecake filling as it causes cracks when it bakes)

Add flour, beat for 5 seconds on speed 4 until just incorporated.

Add vanilla, sour cream, sugar and lemon zest. Beat until just combined (10 sec max, speed 5).

Add eggs one at a time, beat in between until just combined (5 sec each), and after the last one, beat just until the egg is fully incorporated.

Pour into prepared crust.

Bake for 55 minutes. The top should be a very light golden brown, not cracked, and near perfectly flat. It should jiggle slightly when you gently shake the pan.

Cool the cake in the oven with the door open 20 cm / 8″ (Note 6), then refrigerate for 4 hours+ in the pan.

Remove sides. Use overhang paper to slide cheesecake off the cake pan. Then slide the cheesecake off the paper.

STRAWBERRY TOPPING FOR CHEESECAKE:

Place chopped strawberries, vanilla, sugar and lemon juices in a saucepan. Stir then bring to simmer over medium heat.

Simmer for 10 minutes until strawberries breakdown.

Mix corn flour with water, then add into saucepan and stir.

Add halved strawberries and cook for 1 minute to soften.

Sauce should be syrupy – remove from stove and cool. Will thicken as it cools.

Once cool, stir. Adjust thickness to make it the right “oozing” consistency with a tiny touch of water (be careful!).

Spoon onto cheesecake so it’s covered with a single layer of strawberries. Flip strawberry halves so they are facedown. Refrigerate 2 hours+.

Slice and serve with remaining Strawberry Sauce!

Recipe Notes:

1. Biscuits: Any plain crackers will work fine here, you need 2 cups of crumbs. Australia: Arnott’s Marie Crackers, Arrowroot and Nice are ideal, I’ve made it with all these. US: Use 28 squares / 14 full sheets, yes I measured it with my last Graham Cracker packet I brought back from my last trip. UK: Digestives are ideal, I LOVE digestives!

The crumb should be like wet sand so when pressed, it stays packed firmly, especially up the wall. It’s delicate when uncooked but once the filling is cooked, it becomes much more stable.

2. Cream Cheese – In the UK and some parts of Europe, block cream cheese isn’t available. If you can only get spreadable cream cheese in tubs (softer than block), skip the sour cream.

3. Lemon Juice or Water – Depends on sweetness of strawberries. If they aren’t that sweet, use water instead.

4. Inverted cake pan with overhang paper: The base of springform pans have a slight ridge. By inverting it, there is no ridge which makes it easier to slide the cheesecake on a serving platter without ruining the crust. There is no risk of batter leakage as the crust is thick enough to hold it all in.

5. Crumbs: OR crush in a zip lock bag using a rolling pin or large can.

6. Cool in oven: This helps stop the surface from cracking.

7. Strawberry topping should be like jam consistency, not a set jelly. It should ooze slightly when cut.

8. Different measures: Cups and spoons vary slightly between countries (US and CAN are different to most of the rest of the world). I have made this recipe using both US and Australian measures, using Australia Marie crackers and US Graham Crackers. The Graham Cracker crust is slightly crunchier because the biscuit doesn’t crush to a fine sand like Marie Crackers do. Both are delicious!

9. Make Ahead / Storage: Cake is at its best consumed within 4 days, after that I feel like it starts getting denser but still really fab, most people wouldn’t notice a difference! Ideal to top the day or or day before. After 2 to 3 days, the top does start to “sweat” but it’s not very noticeable.

......................................Keeping Reading......................

#recipe #baking #cooking #deliciuos #cake #dessert #strawberry shortcake #strawberry #strawberies #tasty dessert #cooking tips #dessert recipes

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oxfordslutphase · 1 month

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Sunday Sentences

Sliding some sentences in today! Thanks to the tags from @eusuntgratie, @cha-melodius, and @onthewaytosomewhere 💋 I've been chugging along on my @aroyallybigbangrwrb porn star AU this weekend and we're getting into the meat of things. Unfortunately getting into the meat is reminding me how much sex choreo makes my brain hurt. SO today I started working on some of the social media interludes that will be scattered throughout this fic. Here is one such snippet of twitter doing twitter stuff. Technically tweets aren't sentences so you get more than seven.

Clubhouse Cuties @TheClubHouse They say you always remember your first… 👀😏 Let @JamesAustenOfficial & @GabrielLunaX show you why tomorrow in The Clubhouse. #CummingSoon | ✨ur girly celine✨ @ccceline replying to @TheClubHouse How big of a knife do I need for the tension here JFC | louis 🏳️‍🌈 (he/him) @gayexxpectations replying to @TheClubHouse great 🙄another gay 4 pay dude just what we need…. | vee 🎨 (open for commissions) @valuecityvee replying to @gayexxpectations check your biphobia asshole | That Guy Todd (Miami 1/2–1/14) @TossingToddXXX replying to @TheClubHouse My crops are watered the sun is shining @JamesAustenOfficial is BACK BABYYYYYY | Phil @flipflop87 replying to @TheClubHouse 🍆🍆🍆🍆🍆 | matty @mistermattmo replying to @TheClubHouse i’m just a hole 🫡 Gabriel Luna 🤠 (he/him) @GabrielLunaX: watch me teach @JamesAustenOfficial a thing or two tomorrow on @TheClubHouse 😏🍆 James Austen 🇬🇧 @JamesAustenOfficial Pleased to support authentic sex with @TheClubHouse. Was good to work with @GabrielLunaX again. Check it out tomorrow. 📺 | Gabriel Luna 🤠 (he/him) @GabrielLunaX: replying to @JamesAustenOfficial just good?? | James Austen 🇬🇧 @JamesAustenOfficial replying to @GabrielLunaX Adequate. Okonjo Studios ❤️‍🔥 @OkonjoStudios Our fave contract boy @JamesAustenOfficial is on 🔥with @GabrielLunaX in @TheClubHouse. We are seated!

Also! While I greatly enjoy my husband's attempts to toss silly twitter names my way in service of this fic, I'd love to crowdsource some usernames/handles from folks for use throughout. If anyone here is down to send me a handle/display name idea via DM/ask, I would be very thankful. I promise they'll only be used for joyful screaming and not trolls. 😘 Open tag and a friendly no-pressure nudge to @firenati0n, @anincompletelist, @dumbpeachjuice, @inexplicablymine, @orchidscript, @bigassbowlingballhead, @sparklepocalypse, @hypnostheory.

#roux writes #cornstarch au #rwrb fic #old woman tries to remember how to tweet

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brookston · 1 month

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Holidays 3.22

Holidays

Age Is Just A Number Day

Arab League Day

Army Day (Philippines)

As Young As You Feel Day

Baltic Sea Day

Banned in Boston Day

Bihar Day (India)

Captain James T. Kirk Day

Cinematograph Film Day

Cornstarch Day

Daffodil Day

Day of the Berlin Bear (Germany)

Day of the People’s Party (Laos)

Earth Day [Original Date]

Emancipation Day (a.k.a. Día de la Abolición de la Esclavitud; Puerto Rico)

Festival of Immortality

Gryffindor Pride Day

International Day of the Seal

International Goof-Off Day (a.k.a. National Goof-Off Day)

International Gurjar Day

International Taxi Driver Day (Russia)

John Magufuli Day (Tanzania)

Labour Day (Christmas Island)

Laser Day

Lynch Syndrome Awareness Day

National Badminton Day [also 3.30]

National

National Day of the Podenco (Spain)

National Day of Work-Integrated Learning Day (Canada)

National Donald Day

National Rehabilitation Counselors Appreciation Day

National Ride2School Day )Australia)

National Sing-Out Day

National Tree Day (Sent Maarten)

National West Virginia Day

Newlyweds Day (Serbia)

Plane Tree Day (French Republic)

Resident Evil Anniversary Day

Stamp Act Day

Stanley Cup Day

Sun-Earth Day

Talk Like William Shatner Day

Tuskegee Airmen Day

World Cloud Security Day

World Coma Day

World Day of Metta!

World Doula Day

World Mime Day

World Organic Research Day

Food & Drink Celebrations

Bavarian Crepes Day

Brewing Water Day

Coq au Vin Day

We Love Broccoli Day

World Water Day (a.k.a. World Day for Water; UN)

4th Friday in March

Friday of Sorrows [4th Friday]

Fry Day (Pastafarian; Fritism) [Every Friday]

Pliny the Younger Day (Normally 1st Friday in February but moved in 2023)

Wear a Hat Day (Ireland) [4th Friday]

Independence & Related Days

Bihar (State founded; India; 1912)

Malus (Declared; 2021) [unrecognized]

New Year’s Days

Nowruz (New Year) [Day 3, Around Spring Equinox] (a.k.a. ...

Dita e Nevruzit (Albania)

Nauryz Meyramy (Kazakhstan)

Navruz (Tajikistan, Uzbekistan)

Nevruz (Albania)

Nooroz (Iran)

Novruz (Azerbaijan)

Festivals Beginning March 22, 2024

Barcelona Beer Festival (Barcelona, Spain) [thru 3.24]

Bluebonnet Brew-Off (Dallas, Texas) [thru 3.24]

California Artisan Cheese Festival (Santa Rosa, California) [thru 3.24]

Hammond Smokin’ BBQ Challenge (Hammond, Louisiana) [thru 3.23]

Hermann Wurstfest (Hermann, Missouri) [thru 3.24]

Kirkland Wine, Beer & Spirits Walk (Kirkland, Washington)

Lollapalooza (São Paulo, Brazil) [thru 3.24]

Litchfield Restaurant Week (Litchfield, Connecticut) [thru 3.29]

MN Brewers Conference (St. Paul, Minnesota)

Salzburg Easter Festival (Salzburg, Austria) [thru 4.1]

Sydney Royal Easter Show (Sydney, Australia) [thru 4.2]

Ultra Music Festival (Miami, Florida) [thru 3.24]

Vossa Jazz (Vossevangen, Norway) [thru 3.24]

Feast Days

Anthony Van Dyck (Artology)

Anton Raphael Mengs (Artology)

Attis Arbour Intrat (Procession of Pine Trees, dedicated to Cybele, Ops for Rhea; Ancient Rome)

Basil of Ancyra (Christian; Saint)

Benvenuto of Osimo (Christian; Saint)

Catharine of Sweden (Christian; Saint)

Clemens August Graf von Galen (Christian; Saint)

Darerca of Ireland (Christian; Saint)

Deogratias, Bishop of Carthage (Christian; Saint)

Dies Violae (Laying of Flowers at Tombs; Ancient Rome)

Epaphroditus (Christian; Saint)

Festival of Cybele (Attis’ self-mutilation; Ancient Rome)

Festival of the Entry of the Tree (Ancient Rome)

Hola Mohalla (Sikh)

John Frederick Kensett (Artology)

Jonathan Edwards (Lutheranism)

Justin (Positivist; Saint)

Keep Richards Day (Church of the SubGenius; Saint)

Lea of Rome (Christian; Saint)

Nicholas Owen (Christian; Saint)

Nicholas von Flue (Christian; Saint)

Paul of Narbonne (Christian; Saint)

Pretend to Be Sober Day (Pastafarian)

Rite of Eostre (Everyday Wicca)

Quinquatria, Day 4: Poet’s Day (Pagan)

Rosh Chodesh Nisan (Judaism) [1 Nisan]

Slightly Silly Day (Pastafarian)

Toothbrush (Muppetism)

Hebrew Calendar Holidays [Begins at Sundown Day Before]

Shabbat Zachor (Remembrance) [13 Adair]

Lucky & Unlucky Days

Tomobiki (友引 Japan) [Good luck all day, except at noon.]

Premieres

All Shook Up, by Elvis Presley (Song; 1957)

Apostrophe (‘), by Frank Zappa (Album; 1974)

Behold the Man, by Michael Moorcock (Novel; 1969)

The Bible, printed by Johannes Gutenberg (Book; 1457)

Bosko the Speed King (WB LT Cartoon; 1933)

Bringing It All Back Home, by Bob Dylan (Album; 1965)

Bullwinkle Scores Again or Fool’s Goal (Rocky & Bullwinkle Cartoon, S6, Ep. 356; 1965)

The Clock (Film; 1945)

The Croods (Animated Film; 2013)

Defending Your Life (Film; 1991)

D-I-V-O-R-C-E, recorded by Tammy Wynette (Song; 1968)

East St. Louis Toddle-oo, recorded by Duke Ellington (Song; 1927)

The Egg Cracker Suite (Oswald the Lucky Rabbit Swing Symphony Cartoon; 1943)

The Explorer, featuring Farmer Al Falfa (Terrytoons Cartoon; 1931)

Far Beyond Driven, by Pantera (Album; 1994)

Fist of Fury (Film; 1972)

Flames in the Sky, by Pierre Clostermann (Novel; 1951)

The Golden Touch (Disney Silly Symphony Cartoon; 1935)

Gutenberg Bible (Religious Text; 1457)

How Should We Then Live? The Rise and Decline of Western Thought and Culture, by Francis A. Schaeffer (Philosophy Book; 1975)

Luca (Pixar Animated Film; 2024)

Mr. Wonderful (Broadway Musical; 1956)

Much Ado About Nothing (Terrytoons Cartoon; 1940)

Olympus Has Fallen (Film; 2013)

On the Border, by The Eagles (Album; 1974)

Pleased to Meet Cha! (Fleischer Popeye Cartoon; 1935)

Please Please Me by The Beatles (Album; 1963)

Power to the People, by John Lennon (Song; 1971)

The Rules: All You Need Is Cash (TV Rockumentary Special; 1978)

Sing Smokey, by The Temptation (Album; 1965)

Sleepy Time Chimes (Woody Woodpecker Cartoon; 1971)

Spring Breakers (Film; 2013)

Standing Room Only or Bullwinkle Sells Out (Rocky & Bullwinkle Cartoon, S6, Ep. 355; 1965)

Station 19 (TV Series; 2018)

Stealin Aint Honest (Fleischer Popeye Cartoon; 1940)

Symphony No. 1, the Poem of the Forest, by Albert Roussel (Symphony; 1908)

Us (Film; 2019)

Today’s Name Days

Clemens, Elmar, Klemens, Lea (Austria)

Rosen, Rositsa (Bulgaria)

Lea, Leonarda, Oktavijan (Croatia)

Leona (Czech Republic)

Paulus (Denmark)

Viktor, Viktoria (Estonia)

Vihtori, Viktor (Finland)

Léa (France)

Elmar, Lea, Reinhilde (Germany)

Drosos, Drosoula (Greece)

Beáta, Izolda (Hungary)

Benevenuto, Caterina, Lavinia, Lea, Muzio, Onofrio, Nilda, Nilde (Italy)

Dziedra, Giedra, Ralfs, Tamāra (Latvia)

Gedgaudas, Gedgaudė, Kotryna (Lithuania)

Paula, Pauline (Norway)

Bazylissa, Bogusław, Godzisław, Katarzyna, Kazimierz, Paweł (Poland)

Drosida, Vasile (Romania)

Beňadik (Slovakia)

Bienvenido, Lea (Spain)

Kennet, Kent, Viktor (Sweden)

Lea, Leah, Lee, Leigh, Leighton, Parker (USA)

Today is Also…

Day of Year: Day 82 of 2024; 284 days remaining in the year

ISO: Day 5 of week 12 of 2024

Celtic Tree Calendar: Fearn (Alder) [Day 6 of 28]

Chinese: Month 2 (Ding-Mao), Day 13 (Yi-You)

Chinese Year of the: Dragon 4722 (until January 29, 2025)

Hebrew: 12 Adair II 5784

Islamic: 12 Ramadan 1445

J Cal: 22 Green; Oneday [21 of 30]

Julian: 9 March 2024

Moon: 94%: Waxing Gibbous

Positivist: 26 Aristotle (3rd Month) [Clement of Alexandria]

Runic Half Month: Beore (Birch Tree) [Day 13 of 15]

Season: Spring (Day 4 of 92)

Week: 3rd Week of March

Zodiac: Aries (Day 2 of 31)

#calendar #Holidays

0 notes

brookstonalmanac · 1 month

Text

Holidays 3.22

Holidays

Age Is Just A Number Day

Arab League Day

Army Day (Philippines)

As Young As You Feel Day

Baltic Sea Day

Banned in Boston Day

Bihar Day (India)

Captain James T. Kirk Day

Cinematograph Film Day

Cornstarch Day

Daffodil Day

Day of the Berlin Bear (Germany)

Day of the People’s Party (Laos)

Earth Day [Original Date]

Emancipation Day (a.k.a. Día de la Abolición de la Esclavitud; Puerto Rico)

Festival of Immortality

Gryffindor Pride Day

International Day of the Seal

International Goof-Off Day (a.k.a. National Goof-Off Day)

International Gurjar Day

International Taxi Driver Day (Russia)

John Magufuli Day (Tanzania)

Labour Day (Christmas Island)

Laser Day

Lynch Syndrome Awareness Day

National Badminton Day [also 3.30]

National

National Day of the Podenco (Spain)

National Day of Work-Integrated Learning Day (Canada)

National Donald Day

National Rehabilitation Counselors Appreciation Day

National Ride2School Day )Australia)

National Sing-Out Day

National Tree Day (Sent Maarten)

National West Virginia Day

Newlyweds Day (Serbia)

Plane Tree Day (French Republic)

Resident Evil Anniversary Day

Stamp Act Day

Stanley Cup Day

Sun-Earth Day

Talk Like William Shatner Day

Tuskegee Airmen Day

World Cloud Security Day

World Coma Day

World Day of Metta!

World Doula Day

World Mime Day

World Organic Research Day

Food & Drink Celebrations

Bavarian Crepes Day

Brewing Water Day

Coq au Vin Day

We Love Broccoli Day

World Water Day (a.k.a. World Day for Water; UN)

4th Friday in March

Friday of Sorrows [4th Friday]

Fry Day (Pastafarian; Fritism) [Every Friday]

Pliny the Younger Day (Normally 1st Friday in February but moved in 2023)

Wear a Hat Day (Ireland) [4th Friday]

Independence & Related Days

Bihar (State founded; India; 1912)

Malus (Declared; 2021) [unrecognized]

New Year’s Days

Nowruz (New Year) [Day 3, Around Spring Equinox] (a.k.a. ...

Dita e Nevruzit (Albania)

Nauryz Meyramy (Kazakhstan)

Navruz (Tajikistan, Uzbekistan)

Nevruz (Albania)

Nooroz (Iran)

Novruz (Azerbaijan)

Festivals Beginning March 22, 2024

Barcelona Beer Festival (Barcelona, Spain) [thru 3.24]

Bluebonnet Brew-Off (Dallas, Texas) [thru 3.24]

California Artisan Cheese Festival (Santa Rosa, California) [thru 3.24]

Hammond Smokin’ BBQ Challenge (Hammond, Louisiana) [thru 3.23]

Hermann Wurstfest (Hermann, Missouri) [thru 3.24]

Kirkland Wine, Beer & Spirits Walk (Kirkland, Washington)

Lollapalooza (São Paulo, Brazil) [thru 3.24]

Litchfield Restaurant Week (Litchfield, Connecticut) [thru 3.29]

MN Brewers Conference (St. Paul, Minnesota)

Salzburg Easter Festival (Salzburg, Austria) [thru 4.1]

Sydney Royal Easter Show (Sydney, Australia) [thru 4.2]

Ultra Music Festival (Miami, Florida) [thru 3.24]

Vossa Jazz (Vossevangen, Norway) [thru 3.24]

Feast Days

Anthony Van Dyck (Artology)

Anton Raphael Mengs (Artology)

Attis Arbour Intrat (Procession of Pine Trees, dedicated to Cybele, Ops for Rhea; Ancient Rome)

Basil of Ancyra (Christian; Saint)

Benvenuto of Osimo (Christian; Saint)

Catharine of Sweden (Christian; Saint)

Clemens August Graf von Galen (Christian; Saint)

Darerca of Ireland (Christian; Saint)

Deogratias, Bishop of Carthage (Christian; Saint)

Dies Violae (Laying of Flowers at Tombs; Ancient Rome)

Epaphroditus (Christian; Saint)

Festival of Cybele (Attis’ self-mutilation; Ancient Rome)

Festival of the Entry of the Tree (Ancient Rome)

Hola Mohalla (Sikh)

John Frederick Kensett (Artology)

Jonathan Edwards (Lutheranism)

Justin (Positivist; Saint)

Keep Richards Day (Church of the SubGenius; Saint)

Lea of Rome (Christian; Saint)

Nicholas Owen (Christian; Saint)

Nicholas von Flue (Christian; Saint)

Paul of Narbonne (Christian; Saint)

Pretend to Be Sober Day (Pastafarian)

Rite of Eostre (Everyday Wicca)

Quinquatria, Day 4: Poet’s Day (Pagan)

Rosh Chodesh Nisan (Judaism) [1 Nisan]

Slightly Silly Day (Pastafarian)

Toothbrush (Muppetism)

Hebrew Calendar Holidays [Begins at Sundown Day Before]

Shabbat Zachor (Remembrance) [13 Adair]

Lucky & Unlucky Days

Tomobiki (友引 Japan) [Good luck all day, except at noon.]

Premieres

All Shook Up, by Elvis Presley (Song; 1957)

Apostrophe (‘), by Frank Zappa (Album; 1974)

Behold the Man, by Michael Moorcock (Novel; 1969)

The Bible, printed by Johannes Gutenberg (Book; 1457)

Bosko the Speed King (WB LT Cartoon; 1933)

Bringing It All Back Home, by Bob Dylan (Album; 1965)

Bullwinkle Scores Again or Fool’s Goal (Rocky & Bullwinkle Cartoon, S6, Ep. 356; 1965)

The Clock (Film; 1945)

The Croods (Animated Film; 2013)

Defending Your Life (Film; 1991)

D-I-V-O-R-C-E, recorded by Tammy Wynette (Song; 1968)

East St. Louis Toddle-oo, recorded by Duke Ellington (Song; 1927)

The Egg Cracker Suite (Oswald the Lucky Rabbit Swing Symphony Cartoon; 1943)

The Explorer, featuring Farmer Al Falfa (Terrytoons Cartoon; 1931)

Far Beyond Driven, by Pantera (Album; 1994)

Fist of Fury (Film; 1972)

Flames in the Sky, by Pierre Clostermann (Novel; 1951)

The Golden Touch (Disney Silly Symphony Cartoon; 1935)

Gutenberg Bible (Religious Text; 1457)

How Should We Then Live? The Rise and Decline of Western Thought and Culture, by Francis A. Schaeffer (Philosophy Book; 1975)

Luca (Pixar Animated Film; 2024)

Mr. Wonderful (Broadway Musical; 1956)

Much Ado About Nothing (Terrytoons Cartoon; 1940)

Olympus Has Fallen (Film; 2013)

On the Border, by The Eagles (Album; 1974)

Pleased to Meet Cha! (Fleischer Popeye Cartoon; 1935)

Please Please Me by The Beatles (Album; 1963)

Power to the People, by John Lennon (Song; 1971)

The Rules: All You Need Is Cash (TV Rockumentary Special; 1978)

Sing Smokey, by The Temptation (Album; 1965)

Sleepy Time Chimes (Woody Woodpecker Cartoon; 1971)

Spring Breakers (Film; 2013)

Standing Room Only or Bullwinkle Sells Out (Rocky & Bullwinkle Cartoon, S6, Ep. 355; 1965)

Station 19 (TV Series; 2018)

Stealin Aint Honest (Fleischer Popeye Cartoon; 1940)

Symphony No. 1, the Poem of the Forest, by Albert Roussel (Symphony; 1908)

Us (Film; 2019)

Today’s Name Days

Clemens, Elmar, Klemens, Lea (Austria)

Rosen, Rositsa (Bulgaria)

Lea, Leonarda, Oktavijan (Croatia)

Leona (Czech Republic)

Paulus (Denmark)

Viktor, Viktoria (Estonia)

Vihtori, Viktor (Finland)

Léa (France)

Elmar, Lea, Reinhilde (Germany)

Drosos, Drosoula (Greece)

Beáta, Izolda (Hungary)

Benevenuto, Caterina, Lavinia, Lea, Muzio, Onofrio, Nilda, Nilde (Italy)

Dziedra, Giedra, Ralfs, Tamāra (Latvia)

Gedgaudas, Gedgaudė, Kotryna (Lithuania)

Paula, Pauline (Norway)

Bazylissa, Bogusław, Godzisław, Katarzyna, Kazimierz, Paweł (Poland)

Drosida, Vasile (Romania)

Beňadik (Slovakia)

Bienvenido, Lea (Spain)

Kennet, Kent, Viktor (Sweden)

Lea, Leah, Lee, Leigh, Leighton, Parker (USA)

Today is Also…

Day of Year: Day 82 of 2024; 284 days remaining in the year

ISO: Day 5 of week 12 of 2024

Celtic Tree Calendar: Fearn (Alder) [Day 6 of 28]

Chinese: Month 2 (Ding-Mao), Day 13 (Yi-You)

Chinese Year of the: Dragon 4722 (until January 29, 2025)

Hebrew: 12 Adair II 5784

Islamic: 12 Ramadan 1445

J Cal: 22 Green; Oneday [21 of 30]

Julian: 9 March 2024

Moon: 94%: Waxing Gibbous

Positivist: 26 Aristotle (3rd Month) [Clement of Alexandria]

Runic Half Month: Beore (Birch Tree) [Day 13 of 15]

Season: Spring (Day 4 of 92)

Week: 3rd Week of March

Zodiac: Aries (Day 2 of 31)

#Holidays

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milady-pink · 7 months

Text

Waitress AU

Warnings: Food/baking, domestic abuse, unplanned pregnancy, cheating

Summary: Working at a dead end job, waitress Christine soon finds herself with a new problem: an unplanned pregnancy. Life is all about trying to find the sweet spots and luckily this pie genius has a new (and pretty adorkably sexy) OBGYN, who isn’t too happy at home either.

TL;DR Quirky cute and sexy Erik as a doctor, lab coat and all.

Word Count: 1015 || Graphics: @firefly-graphics

"What's Inside?"

Recipe Book

AO3

Sugar

Butter

Flour

Delicate hands reached into the pantry and reached for those three precious ingredients. They were the starters needed to bake almost anything as Christine’s mom had taught her, beginning when she was just three years-old. Making the crust, she adds the butter, frozen, and flour until it's well incorporated, grabbing her cup of ice water and a tablespoon to slowly pour one at a time. The room smells like frying grease and coffee that has been sitting in the pot since closing time last night as Christine finds herself slipping into her “baking head” and letting the stress and worries of life melt away, much like the butter in between her fingers.

This kitchen and its smells have become a safe haven for the waitress, her home life not the greatest as her husband continues to drink himself angry most nights. It reminds her of growing up and watching her mother get bruised left and right every time her father would come back from the bar. Especially once he was done with her mom and he would point his attention towards Christine, yelling about—

Filling, this pie needs a filling!

Pushing those memories from her mind, she lets her heart take control of how the dessert would come out. Once she has the basics of a dough for her pie’s, the filling is where Christine’s creative side could take over and pour a little bit of herself into her art. At the end of the day when every last slice of pie is sold to whoever wanders into the diner’s doors, she knows they have been impacted by her little rundown life. It brings her some gratitude to know she can impact so many people with such little effort, all the while doing something she loves and brings her joy.

Looking through the kitchen fridge she spots two cardboard containers of fresh blueberries, brought in by one of the regulars. Taking the berries she washes and dries them, then pours them carefully into a large well-loved bowl. She takes the sugar and pours a generous amount on top, going mostly one how it looks rather than actually measuring anything, just like she has always done. In fact, it was the act of not needing many measuring cups at all that prompted the diner’s owner and head chef, Piangi, to ask Christine if she would bake a new pie everyday for the diner. After trying and failing multiple times at baking, the portly man could not comprehend how a simple waitress could make such a “slice of heaven with a lattice crust”, in his words.

Yet it all came so naturally to her, even the first pie she ever made with her mom; she mixed apples with sugar and spices, decidingly calling it ‘Apple Of My Pie’. Another thing that hasn’t changed was the names, it just made the whole process more fun. Throughout her youth she has turned to her childhood pantry after most milestones and occasions; ‘Christine’s First Kiss Pie’ sweet and a little sour, ‘Getting Married to My Highschool Sweet-tart’ grilled peach tarts with molasses drizzled on top, and ‘Living With A Man’ tastes delicious but looks atrocious.

Christine pondered these times as she mixed the blueberries with the ground cinnamon, sugar, cornstarch, and lemon zest. Smiling, she remembers one of the first lessons she learned from helping her mom’s baking that also applies to life.

“See, Christine, sometimes you need some sour moments to really make the sweet stand out. Just like the lemon zest does for the berries.” Her voice is still clear as day for her, still not quite over her death. Christine couldn’t bake happily again for a few weeks, not until Piangi made her start her daily pies again, effectively getting her out of her depression.

Letting the filling mix together for the most impactful taste, she leaves the bowl to get her dough that has since chilled. Opting for shorter nails so they don’t cut her dough, Christine rolls it out and makes sure the circumference is larger than the pan. Using the rolling pin she rolls the dough around it, lifts it over the pan, and unrolls the buttery dough. She pushes it to make sure it fits all around the pan, then cuts off the extra around the top, planning to use it as the covering piece. Pouring the berry mixture into the lined pan, Christine cuts out lines of pie dough to achieve a classic lattice style.

Finally, she pops the pie into the oven and cleans up while it bakes. This is usually the time when she comes up with names, but sometimes the came inspires the pie. Just as the fruity aroma starts to emerge from the oven, Christine gets a nauseous feeling in her stomach, rather unusual as the smell always lights a smile upon her face.

Oh God, did—

Stopping her from thinking any further, the old timer shaped like a chicken goes off alerting Christine that her pie was ready. Slipping on the ratty oven mitts she pulls the finished pie from the oven and places it on the metal rack to cool. Taking the mitts off, her left hand immediately goes up to cover her mouth as another wave of nausea takes its toll.

Right when she was about to go to the bathroom, the sound of a bell rings, indicating the front doors to the diner have let someone in. Taking a deep breath, Christine readies herself for whoever was about to walk through.

“Christine”, stated Piangi with his usual chef attire, “almost 7 o’clock, get to work girly!” He waved his finger out towards the double doors leading towards the main dining area where customers sit.

She grabs her pie, now cool enough to handle, and makes her way out to greet her colleagues and wait on usual customers. Not much to look forward to today with the same old problems, same old routine as any other day living off of route 27. Christine gave up long ago wanting to have an extravagant life. Now she resigned trying to make it through, one day at a time. Nothing crazy would happen to her in this lifetime.

After all, she was just a waitress.

#phantom of the opera #christine daae #raoul de chagny #erik destler #sara bareilles #waitress #pies

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