So on my little condom prank video there’s a couple comments that I’m like, okay, well that’s not technically true but it was funny to me at the moment.
Like I joked that I don’t need condoms cause I’m gay, but condoms are great especially for sharing toys or turning into dental dams with new partners.
But one joke I make is at the expense of one particular lady I dealt with. I say that she told me her boyfriends penis was too big for condoms. And honestly, that can happen! The base band can be really tight and uncomfortable if it’s the wrong size. So if someone says the condom is too tight they probably need more lube (which is just all the time a good idea, especially on the inside to prevent tearing), or a bigger size.
However this lady. Starts telling me how they get the Magnums but the condoms just slip around off his dick because he’s so big. I’m sitting there listening trying to be like, if a condom is slipping then the condom is too big..? It shouldn’t do that?
This lady was having none of it, insisting to me that adding lube made it worse (obviously) and that they kept trying bigger and bigger condoms to no avail. Honestly I thought she’d been gaslit into forgetting how size worked.
It was like being subjected to an internet troll except that she was a thousand percent earnestly insisting that the only solution would be a condom the size of a trash bag.
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Raincoats, alcohol, cigarettes and… condoms at the Théâtre des Vampires 😏
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Friendly reminder that condoms aren't just for people with dicks. Like, there's the big condoms that are made to put on vaginas but also:
People that use straps/dildos/toys sometimes put condoms on the things to keep them clean. (Cause it's important to keep those things clean, that stuff goes inside people! Keep it clean!)
People that cut up condoms with scissors to make homemade dental dams.
Anyway have fun and be safe.
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I get my money back from hospitals in condoms.
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It recently came to my attention that a lot of people, even those who frequently use condoms, don't know that you need to pinch the tip when you put one on or don't know why!
Leaving air in the tip will cause it to expand (and maybe break) when ejaculation happens. Also, air in the condom makes it more likely for the ejaculation to push the air down the condom and make it slip off.
Share to save someone from a condom breakage!
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1. Condom travel case (bought! Will hold chargers)
2. Hedgehog that has Seen Things
3. Nautical stencils
4. Rick and Morty bucket hat, official merch
5. Cat mug, a mood. (Bought because who doesn’t feel like that)
6. Amazing pants!! (Bought because fuck yes)
From various thrift stores in The Netherlands.
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