The second part of the story "to get a telescopic baton past security." The previous part was ended at the metal detector went off moment, and then the guard asked me to open my backpack. This first part is here
https://www.tumblr.com/innominaterifter/736872534262349824/i-didnt-manage-to-finish-everything-in-my-costume
I began to put my plan into action.
Step one
I hecticly and hastily began to take off my backpack, showing with all my appearance that I was in a hurry and was afraid of being late for the performance. But at the same time, showing how uncomfortable I was that I had created more work for them.
In the process of all this, I dropped a couple of things, bending over to pick them up, and accidentally stepped on the security guard’s foot. While straightening up, I slightly hit my head on the desk, and yes, they already looked at me with a mixture of mockery and irritation, wanting to get rid of me as quickly as possible.
This was exactly the reaction I needed.
Step two
The metal detector kept going off. I cursed and apologized, muttering that it was probably a metal stand and a fabric mount (step two). One guard is already waving his hand for me to pass, but the second asks me to remove the metal elements from the backpack and go through again (it was the one whose foot I stepped on; perhaps this was unnecessary).
I take them off my backpack and try to go through again, but the detector, of course, continues to react.
The organizers announce the imminent start of cosplay performances into the microphone, and I show on my face the panic of a person lagging behind the train.
The first guard again waves his hand at me, saying, 'Come on in', but the second one detains me this time too. He asks me to show him what is inside the backpack.
I was unlucky to stumble upon a truly vigilant person. Or vengeful. Or maybe I literally stepped on his sore spot.
Well, step three
I unzip the compartment in which there is a tin box with food (and a baton at the very bottom).
And I exclaim as if I had just guessed: 'Ah, this is a box of food for cockroaches! This is what the detector is triggered by!'
I start to pull it out, but both guards exclaim in unison: 'Food for whom?!'
I show on my face the smile of a person who simply adores insects (as you understand, I practically didn't have to pretend):
'For cockroaches! They are in my backpack, and I will show them now!'
I bet that although insects may be interesting to people, it is unlikely that anyone would want unexpected tactile contact with hundreds of cockroaches (as subsequent events at the convention showed, even simple observation makes people nervous).
I turned the backpack towards them with the outer transparent wall, which was initially hidden by things hung on top of the backpack. After I took it off my shoulder, I wisely kept it transparent side towards me.
There is instant silence, and for a couple of endless seconds, two guards and two hundred cockroaches look at each other.
The face of one of the guards begins to shimmer with amazing shades of green, and for some reason, the other begins to giggle uncontrollably.
I feel this is the turning point and decide to press on:
'Do you want to take a closer look at them? I'm late, of course, but they are awesome!'
Both guards are unanimous this time. They simultaneously wave towards me towards the passage. I pick up things and with regret and hope in my voice, I say that maybe then after the performance I will find them here.
One of the guards blurts out: 'No way!', while the other more restrainedly tells me that their shift is ending soon.
I shrug my shoulders in frustration (two hundred cockroaches, swayed in unison, gave this gesture additional expressiveness), and waving goodbye to them, I walk into the event area. A muffled voice behind me exclaimed: 'Fkn cosplayers!'
Well, it was fun and quite simple.
I haven't even gone through all the steps of my plan.
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It's always bothered me that when people adapt Kafka's Metamorphosis they depict Gregor Samsa as a roach. Cockroaches do not undergo metamorphosis. They are born as nymphs which are just smaller wingless versions of the adult form.
Kafka writes that Gregor can only enjoy rotten food. Which also makes him not at all roach-like. Roaches strongly prefer fresh vegetables to rotten ones.
And, of course, he gets stuck on his back, not something roaches struggle with nearly as much as beetles.
That's why always imagined him as a beetle. Which implies that the man Gregor was a larvae for all his pre-bug life. I thought that was the whole point of the story... We're all grubs, but Gregor reached the next stage though sadly none of the grubs in his family could understand him.
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