I'm not over the fact that the Cocaine Bear was female.

All. Along.

AND.

Spoilers...

Cocaine Bear did NOT die, she got away with murdering like half a dozen people, AND she had two little cubs that she got to live happily ever after with.

After doing a monstrous amount of cocaine.

That's a fucking win for feminism and women everywhere.

This is what a real girlboss slay queen looks like:

sometimes a found family is a single mom, her daughter, some other kid, a widower, a very tired drug dealer and a coked-up family of bears

Cocaine bear Spoilers but no context

Hey, you! You did this! You’re the reason this is all happening!

COCAINE BEAR (2023) dir. elizabeth banks

I keep seeing punditry asking if Cocaine Bear is a good movie. Y'all, I went to a theatre and paid for a ticket to see a movie called COCAINE BEAR. In return, I received one hour and thirty-five blessed minutes filled with a BEAR ON COCAINE. "Good" as an arbitrary designation does not apply!

"Based on true events" it says. And you know what? In 1985, there was definitely a bear, on cocaine, somewhere in the Chatahoochee National Forest. That happened. (The bear, found deceased, is stuffed and on display somewhere.) It didn't say, "The official, authorized biography", it said "based on true events".

The practical effects were fun. The guy in the bear suit was obviously having a hell of a time. I saw *spoilers* intestines. There was humour and tension and chemistry. Two teenagers did the cinnamon challenge 35 years too early, with uncut Columbian cocaine.

Is Cocaine Bear a GOOD movie? Fuck, dude, I don't know! I'm not Roger Ebert! But I sure as hell got what I paid for, and that's rare enough that I'll take it.

Feminism win! The bear that did cocaine is a single mother!

Cocaine Bear Thoughts

Does it have Cocaine? Yes. Millions of dollars worth of it, and we get to see a bear snort and eat it throughout the course of this film.

Does it have Bear? Yes. In fact, this move goes above and beyond, and includes THREE coked up bears. Three.

All of the discourse about Don’t Worry Darling and Olivia Wilde and how it was propped up as a feminist film for feminists is especially ridiculous in comparison to this movie. Elizabeth Banks and Cocaine Bear deserve credit for advancing not only women’s rights, but also women’s cocaine addled wrongs.

Yes. Cocaine Bear (bear) is the feminist icon we need, and Cocaine Bear (film) is the feminist movie we deserve.

A single mother raising her family, goes on a rampage to the glorious tones of a killer 80s synth soundtrack.

The death scenes are gruesome and gory–sometimes scary and sometimes funny. At one point I did a full body flinch while also laughing out loud. My friends would hate this. For those who love horror movie gore, this movie delivers in BUCKETS.

Queer rep with a happy ending! A feminist and queer positive film.

You need to watch this movie high.

Ray Liotta’s last film, but what a last film it was.

10/10, will be added to my summer lineup of “horror movies that romanticize the feel of the outdoors while a lot of people get eaten”.  I will buy it on blu-ray and place it next to Jaws.

Cocaine Bear was fantastic, although I did mourn the ambulance workers. Also Eddie and Daveed should have kissed

I can't believe this (now) single dad's wife died of cancer and then they show that he got a tattoo in her honor that was supposed to say "Joan" but it said "John" and it was a whole joke about how he couldn't get it fixed for 6 days or smthn then proceeded to go on a whole adventure with this other guy who's in his dad's drug dealer business and after they survive the cocaine bear (and the guys dad died) the single dad cradles the guy in his arms bc? A bullet grazed his neck? Anyways the guy survives and they go together to pick up single dad's son. Oh and they both adopt a dog. One of them asks if the dog is on cocaine.

a win for feminism! the bear from cocaine bear (2023) is female 

WHY DIDNT ANYONE TELL ME COCAINE BEAR WAS SO CAMPY??? WHO LET THIS HAPPEN??? ITS SO GOOFY!!! I LOVE THIS!!!!!!

THE COCAINE BEAR WAS FEMALE ALL ALONG????

TRULY A FEMINIST TWIST.

Cocaine Bear releasing on digital in March is peak Women’s Month

She was just in a silly goofy mood, having a TLC day for herself while on a bloody rampage

but it wasn’t just a cocaine bear. it was a cocaine family.

i think the cocaine bear should've been allowed to eat more cops and shit heads

diversity win: cocaine bear is an empowered woman