thinking about season 6 when mulder follows diana and scully is sticking to her sceptic role because of what mulder told her in ftf and so she's doing what has always pleased him (and her believing has always displeased him) and now it isn't working and so she doesn't know what to do and now someone else might be more important & trustworthy than her and she knows fowley can't be trusted & is deceiving mulder and what is she supposed to do!!!

You dropped my heart again and it shattered into a 1000 pieces? Ooopsy, it's fine, I will glue it back together or something, don't you worry about it!

Quick everyone remind me it’s ok to call out cause even if I were to die I’d be replaced immediately.

being a person is incredibly hard oh my god. making decisions, inevitably disappointing people, trying to live for yourself. WOW it’s too much. give me a break

me when my chronic fear of people meets my desire to be liked and wanted as a person

This is Tumblr no one should care what I think or repost or whatever but damn I am still traumatised from other social media sites and I just can't

I've also just not had friends irl for so long that I near require positive interactions with the funni strangers online ykno

shima's "don't look at me" applying not just to his tripping over but a general theme about how he's scared to be truly perceived. and getting the reassurance that even if he stumbles (literally, metaphorically) he'll still have other people just as they still have him

That one Draw Your Comfort characters drawing trend

something about max verstappen being the only one able to truly get under the skin of cool, media-curated, perfect charles leclerc is something so compelling

Ok so my bday is in 3 weeks (the 4th) and as I'll be free of Nanowrimo (blessed time upon us) I will do a small Tolkien raffle for my followers ❤️

🏆1st place: Drawing of a character/oc of your choice.

🥈2nd place: A 1k words fic about a pairing of your choice (platonic, romantic, queer platonic, family etc)

🥉3rd place: Two 100-words drabble about a character of your choice

Rules: like or reblog this post and I'll randomly pick three of you. Closing on December 1st. ❤️ ❄️

i love how viserys and alicent mirror each other in their specific type of weakness. viserys is a weak king being slowly cut to pieces by the iron throne. he’s an indecisive coward: he can’t tell the people he loves hard truths, and he can’t make a decision until someone makes him angry enough to pretend he has a backbone. he’s got otto standing there whispering poison in his ear, and it’s so much easier sometimes to just listen to him, isn’t it?

alicent as she is on the show does what she does and pretends she has no choice at all. to a certain extent, that’s true—she’s a product of a feudalist patriarchal society, and growing up with otto hightower has obviously wrecked her psyche and destroyed her sense of agency. there’s a reason the lighting in their scenes is so dark and filled with shadows on such a bright and beautiful show. but—she didn’t have to go about it the way she did. that was her choice. she had months and months to tell rhaenyra what was going on, if she actually cared enough about her and their relationship. there wasn’t anything alicent could do about the king wanting her once her father sent her to him—or even about her father sending her to him. she’s been in a cage for her entire life, and her claustrophobic fear has its own presence on the screen in those first two episodes. everything she does is understandable. that doesn’t change the fact that the one thing she could have done was tell rhaenyra and she chose not to do it. viserys made that same choice; and eventually he took the choice out of alicent’s hands by asking her not to tell rhaenyra. because he knew what it would to her—they both did, but alicent knew it deeper, knew it better.

all of that leads to the moment when viserys announces their marriage and you can see alicent’s horrible guilt and anxiety in every line of her body. it’s so very like the moment viserys chose to save his son over his first wife and didn’t have the courage to tell her: he watched aemma die and hated himself for it, and alicent stood there and watched rhaenyra’s heart break and hated herself for it.

because she lied (they both lied, the king and his future queen) and she chose and now rhaenyra sees her for what she is. she can’t ever see her any other way, no matter how much alicent tries, because rhaenyra has realized that alicent can’t be trusted even when she is kind and helpful—in the end, she’ll always do what serves (the men in) her family best. it’s a sweeter poison, but it’s still poison. eventually, she’ll stop trying, but for now alicent’s guilt bites at her and she picks at her nails until they bleed, and viserys cuts himself on his throne with his carelessness.

Me: just spent the last week writing 52k words for part 3, am brain dead, have a fuck ton of shit to do at work.

Also me: needtowriteneedtowritemeedtowritemeedtowriteneedto—

going through your blog posts from years ago is so wild like that is a different person

*gently pats Aziraphale on the head because I love him too much to actually slap him*

This bad bitch can fit so much religious trauma in them

i still think about being in tenth grade or whatever and my friend making a joke about how ‘i secretly saw myself as the main character and didn’t believe other people to be real’ like i was so horrified bc it was so entirely untrue. i do believe people should be the ‘main character’ of their own lives bc i think that you must live your life with some self-priority and romanticism but the idea that i wouldn’t care about how i affected other people because of it is so genuinely upsetting like. i think they may have been projecting w that bc i truly cannot think of another way they could’ve come to that conclusion like we had a little friction at times but i do believe i was a good friend in high school & i’m self aware enough to realize when i haven’t been

i literally cannot cope with family members being angry at me. my heart is too tender and i will apologize every time even if i did nothing wrong. lovesss it.

me on this blog: if you even breathe in my direction i will stab you in the gut and drag the knife up through your neck

me irl: uhm hi if it’s not too much trouble could you please stop treating me like shit? it’s totally okay if not, you can just kill me if you want, i’m sorry-