#chelji
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Yo this whole gabbie Hanna thing atm feels like watching a black mirror episode, but not in a fun way, yknow
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hello, may i have some headcanons of Kaeya and Itto with a Y/N who see theirself as a bad person (like they would blame theirself for everything, and even hate and feel angry of themselfs from stuff they did as a kid) thx for reading
Hello dear, I honestly don't know what to say to make you feel better. You are an amazing person (I'm sure you are even tho I don't know you) and you don't deserve to feel like this. You deserve to be happy. I love you <3
"Perfection"
-
Kaeya, Itto x gn!reader
Tw: self hate, comfort
A/n: I really hope that this will help you feel a little better and I always be here if you need someone to talk to.
-
Kaeya
Hearing you crying your eyes out in your room, he didn't hesitate a moment as he opened the door and walked in and found you crawled up in your bed.
"Love, what is the matter? Why are you crying?" He asked you as he sat besides you, pulling you closer to him as he took your body in his arms.
At first, no words came out of your mouth, the only sound that came out of you was the sound of crying, but after Kaeya pressured you a little more by asking you why are you crying, you finally broke down and started telling him everything what you felt while sobbing.
"Because I'm a bad person Kaeya. Ever since I was a little kid, I keep on doing mistakes and hurting the people around me, mentally or physically. Many of my friends has gotted injured because of me, heck even you had gotted injured because of me. Because I wasn't strong enough to protect you, I wasn't good enough."
You couldn't even talk properly because of how much you were crying. All of the things you thought about yourself, rushed back to you, making you cry even harder. Kaeya just stood there, looking at you, waiting for you to stop saying such nonsense about yourself. "Y/N are you done saying such nonesense or you'll keep on talking?" Kaeya asked you, he sounded like he was annoyed of what you were saying.
"What?" You asked, finally looking up at him. "I asked why are you saying such things even tho nothing of what you said is true." He said as he placed his hnd on your chin and made you look at him. The only bad thing you did was believing in such nonesense and nothing else. Yes you may did some things wrong and ended up hurting the people around you but you are a human and humans make mistakes but they learn from them and improve. He continued as he stroke your skin.
"B-but I hurted people that I love, my friends, even you got hurted because of me!" You said again but Kaeya placed his index finger in you lips, shushing you so he continue talking. "Y/N can you please stay quiet and just listen to me? The fact that your friends got injured during the battle wasn't your fault, but theirs. They were the ones who were weak and couldn't even protect themselves. It was their fault, not yours and the same goes for me. I underestimare my opponet and ended up getting hurt and this wasn't your fault either." He said.
You lowered your head, embarrashed of what Kaeya was telling you bur he lifted you chip up once, forcing you to look at him. "Hey Y/N look at me. You are an incredible person with a wonderful personality. The only thing that you're doing wrong is not believing in yourself. This is your only fault, your low esteem." He said as tears started falling from your eyes once again.
For the first time in your life, you felt extremely happy that someone pointed out how amazing of a person you are. People used to tell you how lovely you were and how happy they were to have you around them but you always accused them of lying to you. But, for some reason, you believed him. He helped you realised the sourse of your self hate by pointing out your low self esteem when others tried to make you forget about your problems.
"I love you Kaeya." You comfessed as you placed your hand on his cheek, pulled him closer to you and gave him a kiss on the lips. Kaeya was shocked at first but quick to pull you closer by the waist and kiss you back. You pulled away from him, once you became breathless and Kaeya had a big grin on his face as he looked at you. "Someone has finally began to realise that they are the best thing that ever happened in my life and that I want them to see themselves as I see them. A pure perfection." He finished his sentence with a kiss on your forehead.
Itto
"Hey babe, what's wrong?" He asked as soon as he found you crying in your room. "Leave me alone Itto." You replied, without turning to face him. You were too tired from crying to pay any attention to him.
"But why are you crying?" He asked againas he sat next to you, putting a strand of hair behind your ear and stroking your cheek lightly. "Leave me alone Itto!" You yelled at him as you moved away from him. Itto got sturtled as he moved away from you. He didn't want to upset you any more.
"Can you at least tell me why are you crying?" He asked again, his voice was barely hearable. "Because I hate myself." You said in a low voice. You didn't want him to hear what you said. "What?" He asked as he moved closer to you once again in order to hear what you said.
"Because I hate myself Itto. I am a terrible person!" You got up from your bed and started yelling. All the emotions that you held inside all of this years came out at once, suffocating you. At this point, even the tears that were coming of your eyes had stopped. "I hate myself since I was little. Everything I did back then was wrong and even now nothing had changed. I am still the same horrible person that I used to be who keeps on doing mistakes and hurts people. Everyone around me is sad and it's all because of me. I hurt them. I even make you sad by telling you all of this. Gosh why am I so stupid. Why can't I do anything right? Why did you even chose to be with me Itto? Why did you choose to be with a useless person like me?" At this point, you couldn't even breath because of how much you were crying.
Itto on the other hand just sat there, looking at you without saying anything. What could he say? The way you talked and the things you said about yourself left him unable to even think of anything to say. Instead, he got up from your bed, grabbing you by the arm as he pulled you closer to him and hugged you as tightly as ge could. He gril was so tight that he almost broke your ribs but still, he didn't let go of you. He would never do something like this. Ever. Why? Because you were the best person that he knew and nothing you said earlier could change his mind.
Because nothing of that you said was true. He didn't know who made you think such terrible things about yourself but nothing of what you said was true, that was for sure. His arms wrapped tighter around you as he hid his face on the base of your neck, tears, his tears, wetting your neck. "Itto, why are you crying?" You asked as you wrapped your arms around his muscular body, running circules all over his back, soothingly.
"I'm crying because of what you said. Because everything you said is a lie. You are the best person I know and nothing you or anyone says can change my mind." He said. "I know that you see yourself as a bad person who keeps on doing mistakes and hurts people around you in the procces but this is not true at all. And I can prove that you. All you has to do is see yourself from my eyes. See how great of a person you are and how much you mean to me, to everyone around you, to every single person that loves you. See yourself from our point of you and then you understand who you really are. And that's definitely not the person you think you are.
Tears started streaming donw your face but this time it was for a different reason. This time your tears were because of happiness. Itto's words made you so happy that you couldn't stop crying. "Thank you Itto. Thank you so much. Your words means so much to me!" You cried as you hugged him tighter and rested you forehead on his shoulder. "Hey, hey Y/N, don't cry." Itto pulled away from you, causing you to step back and look at him. "I don't want you to cry Y/N. So please don't cry!" He said as he placed his hands on both of your cheeks and wiped your tears away. A chuckle escaped you as you placed your hands on top of his.
"Haha, Itto don't worry. I'm not sad anymore. This tears are tears of happiness." You said as a smile spread across your lips. "Oh so you're happy now?" Itto asked as he broke into a big smile. You nodded your head as Itto pulled you closer once again and lifted you in his arms, twirling you around as you laughed happily. Itto always had a way to make you smile even in your saddest moments and you were so thankfull for that. You were so thankfull to have him in your life even tho sometimes you felt you didn't deserve him. As if he heard your thoughts, he replied to what was bothering your mind. "You do deserve me Y/N. You deserve to be loved and I'll make sure to give you all the love I have and even more." He said as he squeezed you in his arms.
#genshin impact#genshin x reader#genshin headcanons#kaeya x reader#itto x reader#genshin boys#genshin comfort#genshin boys x reader
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NAH AH RENJUN WAS THE WHOLE MASTER MIND BEHIND THIS, WHAT'S GONNA HAPPEN TO CHELJI
chelji is gonna join the family
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dried eyes and i’m tryna stay sober
more die the more i get older
hard to fight when you want it to be over
- made it past october, chelji
#depressed#depression#suicidal#suicide#tw#sad#kms#depressive#depressing#sadness#self harm#self hate#styrotwt#anxiety#lonely#trigger warning#alone#broken#sad blog#styro#styrofoam#quotes#styroblr#chelji#made it past october
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tag 9 people and get to know them better :)
tagged by @josephsgirlsposts 🖤
favorite color: blue
currently watching: re-watching american horror story coven
currently reading: the body by stephen king
last song: my way by CHELJI
last movie: bobs burgers movie
sweet/savory/spicy: savory
currently working on: nothing unless stuff for college counts
i tag: @musicmoviestv , @rae0fsunsh1ne , @jaemunson70 , @mxnsoneddie
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I have often gotten shit for liking TooPoor/Layla but like
Idc that she sucked some dude’s dick when she was w peep lol
He allegedly cheated on her too (side eyeing u, Chelji baby) but y’all love pinning her as a “whore” for what was essentially a toxic relationship both ways lmao
I don’t even fuck w that scene and I still know y’all are fuckin dumb lol
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trying not to think about you but you’re stuck in my head again
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CHELJI - Happy Kid (Official Lyric Video)
CHELJI - Happy Kid (Official Lyric Video) https://laplaylist.es/wp-content/uploads/2022/11/hqdefault-3612.jpg
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"Most my friends are dead now, living in my head now.
Wishing I was them now, I'm fucked up in the head now."
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top 10 songs from september
aka the best month of the year🤍
1. MISA MISA! by CORPSE, Scarlxrd, Kordhell
this is the number one song for a reason. it's such a great song, the lyrics and the context all makes it real funny. but I actually like the beat & everything about it. I'm obsessed with it to say the least.
2. My Way by CHELJI
"cause the love I had for you
could make me do something
little me wished I had the balls to do"
this is a powerful song. I've been waiting for it to drop for a while now. I love every line of it, it was the hardest thing to choose just one section to quote. the whole thing has a strong message and the atmosphere of the song just adds to it all.
3. NDA by Billie Eilish
this is an old fav. I can't get it out of my head. it has something so special and unique about it that I just come back to it every few days and start listening on repeat. this girl is just insanely talented.
4. dying on the inside by Nessa Barrett
this song popped up on spotify just before I met my bf. I remember listening to this and really getting lost in the lyrics while he was messaging me in the morning... so not only is it a great song, I have some special memories attached to it as well.
5. Desire by Meg Myers
I added the song just for fun, I saw it on tiktok and was curious. when I started listening to the song & paying attention to the lyrics... well, yeah, I could get behind every word.
but on a serious note, I think this message is real important. we girls get horny as well and there's nothing wrong with these feelings/thoughts no matter what society tries to teach us.
6. midnight love by girl in red
"when your silver is my gold"
I remember listening to this song and thinking about the irony. a few years back all I wanted was to be able to say these things to a certain someone. and now I don't even think about him like that anymore. my whole life was centered around him, the answer was always him, no matter the question. but now I don't even want to talk to him anymore, and I still can't fully believe it. it's so freeing to think about it. and if I could do it, you can get through it, believe me.
7. Little Freak by Harry Styles
"I'm not worried about where you are
or who you will go home to, I'm
just thinkin' about you"
just to tie the previous song to this one. I'm still thinking of him, as I'm letting it all go but I'm not worried anymore. and I'm happier than ever.
8. Dana-Dan by Bloodywood
back to my present & future. my boyfriend and his friends introduced me to this band and even though I laughed the first time I heard the song I fell in love shortly after. I can't wrap my head around the context, but I'm actively enjoying this song. lol.
9. Big Jet Plane by Angus & Julia Stone
"gonna hold you
gonna kiss you in my arms
gonna take you away from home"
these lines... as you might know me, I'm not the lucky type when it comes to irl things. I happened to find myself a partner, who lives 2 hours away from me and through the 1,5 months we've been together, we couldn't meet for 2 weeks straight. I was going slightly insane by the end of the second week and I was singing this song in my head for a whole day before we met up and I could finally hug him.
10. Sick Of You by DNMO, Sub Urban
I'm truly happy that this song made it on the list. I've been listening to a lot of songs lately but this one is quite special. it's a super catchy song and I've been listening to it non-stop for these last few days.
#nda#billie eilish#sick of you#harry styles#little freak#dana dan#bloodywood#big jet plane#midnight love#girl in red#desire#meg myers#dying on the inside#nessa barrett#my way#chejli#misa misa#corpse
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