#charles 'upchuck' ruttheimer iii
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16th November 2023 Writings
16th
Excerpt from: Return to Alamos Town
“Yes!” Ash said.
“So, Dialga and Palkia were really there?”
“That’s right.”
“Are the Space-Time Towers really that impressive up close?” Goh asked.
“Of course! In fact, I’d like to show you.”
Words: 32
Excerpt from: A twisted Invitation
“Brittany!” Quinn said. “You’re here for Daria’s party?”
“Yes,” Brittany answered. “I’m hope I’m not too late.
“Oh, not at all,” Quinn said as she let Brittany in.
There were a large number of people in the living room already. Brittany saw that Jodie and Mack were already there. ‘Of course they are,’ she mused.
“Hi, Brittany!” Daria said.
Words: 59
Excerpt from: Spider Quinn
“But, Kevvy.” He continued to be amorous “Kevvy!”
“Huh?” Kevin asked.
“Didn't you say we were going to follow her and save the world and stuff?” she asked. She liked making him think some things were his idea.
“Oh, yeah. But I don't think we have to save the world right this second,’ he responded.
“Great!” she said. A few more moments of making out wouldn’t go awry, she considered.
Suddenly there was a purr above them. ” Que passionato!”
‘Oh great!’ Brittany thought. ‘Upchuck!’
“Hey! We're trying to save the world here!” Kevin said as he shone his flashlight at Charles.
“And I'm trying to find the space maidens' ship so they can take me back and make me their love slave,” Charles responded.
“Oh cool,” Kevin said.
Two more flashlights turned on. “Well, you were right. Everyone has gone crazy,” Jodie Landon said.
“I knew you'd try something, Kevin. I figured I owed it to the team to keep you from humiliating yourself,” Mack said.
Bushes rustled and Mr. O’Neill emerged.
“Mr. O'Neill? Don't tell me you're hunting communists, too?” Mack asked incredulously.
O’Neill laughed nervously. “I wouldn't call it hunting. I heard a rumor about secret police kidnapping educators and spiriting them off to the gulag. But me? No. I frequently go for walks with a, um, flashlight in case the streetlights go out.”
There was another rustle above and SpiderGirl emerged upside down, lowering herself halfway down by a thread. “What’s going on here? Paranormal?”
“Not very,” Jodie said, looking around.
‘Probably meant paranoia,’ Brittany thought.
“These reds come red-hot from the red planet itself. We're talking Mars,” Charles said.
“Really?” SpiderGirl asked, her voice showing incredulity.
“Charles, I think you mean Marx,” O’Neill said as he dropped his flashlight.
Jane answered the door. “You made it. Cool. I was starting to... whoa!”
Daria also looked at the flashing lights in the nearby woods.
O’Neill found his flashlight. “Found it.”
“But why are you all, like, sneaking around with flashlights?” SpiderGirl asked.
“Good question,” Jodie said.
The others all switched off their flashlights.
“Did we just see a U.F.O.?” Jane asked.
“You're getting paranoid. It's probably just an informal get-together of local stalkers. You know, hang out, swap stories, try out each other's skeleton keys,” Daria responded.
“But only an idiot would go stalking with a flashlight, especially with that SpiderGirl about.”
“Come on. This is Lawndale,” Daria said as she went inside.
“Your’re right, SpiderGirl, we’ve all been acting very foolish.”
“Hey, man, speak for yourself,” Kevin objected.
“Oh! Sorry, Kevin, “ O’Neill said. “But I wonder if maybe a rally might be in order. You know, something before classes to promote understanding, remove the fear, and increase the peace.”
“Are you sure?” SpiderGirl asked, before Kevin could get a word in.
“Quite sure. It won’t get out of control,” O’Neill said.
“But, practice is before classes. He's trying to destroy football. He's one of them!”
“No he isn’t,” SpiderGirl said, trying to keep calm.
“Who?” Brittany asked.
“I thought you knew.”
‘Time to go, Kevin,” Mack said.
“I’ll stay and talk to SpiderGirl for a bit,” Brittany said.
“Sure,” Jodie said. She turned to Upchuck. “Come along, Charles, we’ve had enough excitement for one night.”
“Yes, I better go too,” O’Neill said.
SpiderGirl wasn’t sure why Brittany wanted to talk to her. “What’s up?” she asked.
“Um, What is it like being a hero, fighting crime?” Brittany asked, whilst twirling a pigtail.
“Difficult. But the thanks I get from the people rescued from muggers make it more than worth it.”
“What made you start?”
“Someone died,” SpiderGirl answered, trying not to give anything away.
But it seemed that Brittany made some connections. “Like that carjacking, when one of my friends’ father died two weeks ago.”
“Yes,” SpiderGirl said carefully. “That was the last straw. That was when I knew Lawndale is declining into a crime filled…” she paused, seeing that Brittany got what she was saying.
Brittany nodded. “But you have powers, right?”
“Yes, but why are you asking all this?” SpiderGirl asked.
“Like, after that death, I’ve been thinking about what’s been happening. And maybe I could help in some way.”
Words: 698
Total: 789
#ash ketchum#brittany taylor#charles ‘upchuck’ ruttheimer iii#daria#daria morgendorffer#fanfic#goh#jodie landon#kevin Thompson#michael ‘mack’ mackenzie#november writings#quinn morgendorffer#pokemon#the lawndale file#timothy o’neill
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Upchuck: Do you suppose there's life on other planets?
Daria: What do you care? You don't have a life on this one.
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"The Lab Brat" [S1 Ep07]
#daria#cartoon#90s#brittany taylor#charles ruttheimer iii#daria scenes#the lab brat s1ep07#upchuck couldn't get creepier
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still cannot believe they are canon.
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The Firing of Upchuck
The Firing of Upchuck (a Middle Earth in Peril* ficlet)
Aragorn and Gimli carried the squirming Upchuck to the cannon.
"You can't do this to me!" he said.
"You deserve it!" the Dwarf said.
"Would you rather the Huorns deal with you?" Jane asked.
Upchuck shook his head vigorously. "No! Anything but those creepy trees," he said.
"The cannon it is then," Jane said.
'Ironic that I would be shot out of a cannon of my own design,' Upchuck thought as the Ranger and the Dwarf shoved him into said cannon.
Jane lit the fuse, smirking.
BOOM!! Upchuck went flying to where several Rohirric soldiers were waiting to catch him.
#aragorn#charles 'upchuck' ruttheimer iii#daria#fan fiction#gimli#jane lane#lotr#the lord of the rings
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Middle Earth in Peril I
A day after the Council of Elrond, a strange house appears next to the Last Homely House. Investigating Elves find Jane and Trent Lane and Daria Morgendorffer inside, for the house is Casa Lane.
Now Jane and Daria have to learn Westron and join the Fellowship after Elrond and Gandalf reveal that the Lane house was not the only part of Lawndale to end up in Middle-Earth. Indeed it seems that all of Lawndale is scattered about Middle-Earth, including in Mordor!
Of course, Daria is not the only source of extra-Arda material that intrudes upon the War of the Ring! There may be others (that may, or may not, give Sauron an advantage...)
Theoden, Aragorn and Jane approached the parleying leader of the Isengard forces. He then spoke, in a strangely familiar accent. "Are you the King of this horse-loving nation?"
"I am," Theoden said.
"Speak your terms," Aragorn said.
"One, the Great Saruman the Wise, Viceroy of Isengard asks that the Rohirrim disarm themselves and surrender, and Second that Theoden cede the entirety of the region known as the Westfold to his rule." The commander stepped forwards, bringing his freckled face into the light. "Do not mistake his intention!"
Jane realised where she knew that voice and accent from. "Upchuck?"
"That's General Upchuck to you!" Upchuck said, in English.
"So you ended up in Isengard, huh? Did the Wizard offer you an offer you couldn't refuse? A harem of Dunlendish women?" Jane asked, also in English.
"Feisty!" Upchuck said.
"He did, didn't he?"
"So what Ms. Lane? It is you under that Rohirric armor, isn't it?" Upchuck asked.
Jane drew her sword.
"Feisty!" Upchuck said, switching back to Westron.
"It's another Lawndalian," Jane said to Aragorn.
"What did you say?" the King asked.
"I asked if Saruman offered Upchuck, or rather, Charles Rutthiemer III, a harem. It looks like he did."
"Not the first time such has happened," Aragorn said.
"What is your answer?" Commander Rutthiemer asked Theoden.
"We refuse your terms. This pathetic excuse for a parley is at an end," Theoden said.
Note: Daria and Jane join the Fellowship. When the Fellowship breaks, Daria joins Frodo and Sam on their journey to Mordor; Jane joins Aragorn, Gimli and Legolas in their chase after the Orcs who took Merry and Pippin.
They learn Westron whilst in Rivendell waiting to set out.
Jane uses the time in Lothlorien to paint the scenery that she had seen on the way from Rivendell.
#aragorn#charles 'upchuck' ruttheimer iii#daria#fan fiction#jane lane#lotr#the lord of the rings#the two towers#theoden
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Conversation
Upchuck: Don’t be shy, baby. Ask me out.
Daria: Okay, get out.
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I’m Charles, or, as the ladies like to call me, “Hey, you behind the bushes.”
Upchuck
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A Variant Lawndale - Beach Party Invitation - Part 3
“Look, two types of chips,” Daria said in a tone of fake excitement.
“Flat or ridgy? You make the call,” Jane said. She then saw someone approaching. “Uh oh!”
“Chuck Ruttheimer, here. And you are...?”
“Jane, But I know that you know that!”
“Esmerelda.”
“I was there in DeMartino’s class,” Chuck said.
“Of course,” Daria said.
“Your answer on Manifest Destiny was quite good.”
“I didn’t answer that way to get hit on,” Daria retorted.
“Feisty!”
“How did you get invited?” Daria asked.
“I dissected her frog,” Chuck admitted.
‘That would do it,’ Daria thought.
Brittany grabbed a bullhorn. “The surfing competition will start shortly! If you wish to participate please come up to the far end of the pool. Thank you!”
“I suppose that’s my call,” Jane said.
Daria sighed. “Go for it!” she said.
“Would you like a tour of the premises?” Chuck asked once Jane was out of earshot.
“No,” she said as she followed Jane towards the pool.
The surfing competition began well, with Angie starting off.
“This is Spatula Man out at Crew Necke for the Taylor’s Beach Party and the surfing competition is about to begin. If you want to know who wins, keep listening to Z-93, Lawndale’s Hippest Radio Station!”
Daria sighed. ‘Of course.’
“First competitor is Angie Zammit.”
Angie soon finished. The judges all gave her 9s.
She bowed.
“Up next is Nikki Dowling, another of Lawndale High’s Cheerleaders.”
Daria noticed that Chuck had followed her and Jane over.
“Are you sure?” he asked.
“I’m sure! Leave us alone!”
“Feisty!” Chuck exclaimed before making himself scarce.
Nikki’s score came close to Angie’s. “It is a stiff competition this afternoon…” Spatula Man said.
“I doubt it,” Jane said a she put her name down on the sheet. There weren’t very many names there yet. ‘Mack is the only guy!’ she thought. She overheard Brittany trying to dissuade Kevin from joining in.
“Kevie, maybe you should try limbo instead,” Brittany argued.
“You think I would wipe out, don’t you,” Kevin said in an accusative tone.
Brittany tried to deflect. “I just think you would do better at limbo,” she said.
“But I still would like to surf? Wasn’t that why you had the wave pool put in?”
Brittany twirled a pigtail. “Um, no.”
“Oh!” Kevin said.
Taking advantage of the pause, Brittany grabbed her boyfriend’s hand and dragged him away from the wave pool.
Jane smirked as she watched the cheerleader drag the QB away and stepped aside to allow Tori Jericho to put her name down.
“What are you doing here?” Tori asked her once she had done so.
Jane shrugged. “What can I say?” she started rhetorically. “Brittany invited someone, then I came as their plus one.”
“Right,” Tori responded dubiously. “But you’re still an outcast!”
Jane scowled. She saw Daria turn as she heard Tori’s remark.
Daria looked at the antagonistic blonde as she approached. She was ready to support Jane, if she needed it.
“Not an outcast,” Jane declared. “Just nonconformist.”
“You are outcast!” the blonde said as she wrote her name on the list. She then went off in a huff.
“Miss popular!” Jane complained behind her back.
“Quite familiar,” Daria murmured.
“There are girls like her at every high school,” Jane said with annoyance.
“Including Quinn.”
“And just for that I’m going to try my best!”
“Don’t over do it,” Daria said with a slight warning tone.
“Now up, Jane Lane!” Spatula Man announced.
“Oh, the gall!” Tori complained.
“What gall?” Sandi asked.
“Brittany didn’t invite her!”
Sandi rolled her eyes.
Jane paddled out to the wave and started to surf. However, there was trouble. Tori had entered straight after her and was dropping in on her. “Hey! We’ll both wipe out!”
#brittany taylor#charles 'upchuck' ruttheimer iii#daria#daria morgendorffer#fanfic#jane lane#kevin thompson#sandi griffin
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Party at 111 Howard - Part 5
In fact, Quinn wasn't far away. “Oh!” she said when she realised when she saw the house up the street.
“What?” Sandi asked in response.
Quinn shook her head. She would deal with it. “Nevermind.”
Sandi gave a dubious expression. Quinn knew she was thinking how to turn the situation to her advantage.
Stacy noticed the strange lawn ornament as she walked up to the front door, along with the rather long grass. 'Why haven't they mowed?' she wondered as she knocked on the door.
The door was opened by Mack. “Quinn?”
“Hi Mack!” Quinn said.
“Your sister is here.”
“Cousin.”
“I'm rather sure she's your sister.”
“Daria isn't, but like, of course she's here! It's Jane's place.”
“You've been here before?” Mack asked in a curious tone.
“Yes,” Quinn admitted.
“I think Quinn's here,” Jamie said after he'd returned to the kitchen a second time.
“Are you sure?” Jeffy asked.
“I heard her,” Jamie responded. He left the kitchen.
Jeffy followed him.
“Wait!” Brittany cried out.
“What happened?” Joey asked as he come back into the kitchen.
“Never mind!” Brittany said, as she handed more plates containing condiments to Joey.
Quinn saw Jamie and Jeffy approaching. “Hi, guys,” she said.
“Aren't you helping Brittany?” Mack asked.
“Um, yes!”Jamie said in annoyance. He went back to the kitchen.
“We'll catch up later,” Jeffy said before following his friend.
“The party is out back,” Mack said.
“Outdoors?” Sandi asked.
“Is that a problem?” Mack asked.
“Not really,” Quinn said, ignoring Sandi's annoyed expression.
Daria saw Quinn and her friends come out into the yard. “Of course.”
“Quinn?” Jane asked.
“Yes,” Daria admitted.
“Hopefully she won't cause too much trouble,” Jane said. “I'd keep an eye on Sandi though.”
“Oh, I will be!”
“Let's see, mostly sophomores so far,” Quinn said. “Including my foster cousin,” she added with a giggle.
“More freshman may arrive later,” Sandi said.
“Maybeee.”
Joey saw Quinn and the others talking near the Gazebo as he brought out more snacks. However, he knew Brittany was right behind him so he waited until he put the snacks on the table before turning towards them. “Hi, Quinn!”
“Hi, Joey!” Quinn responded.
“Wait!” Came Brittany's voice. “One more thing, Joey!”
“Coming,” Joey said with annoyance.
Charles knocked on the door. Mack opened it. “Upchuck?” Mack asked.
“You think I wouldn't come?” Charles asked.
“That it would be too good to be true?”
“Feisty!”
“Come in,” Mack said in a resigned tone.
Andrea looked down the stairs and saw Mack let Upchuck inside. She saw red. Why did he have to come! 'I'll have to come up with some sort of humiliating prank!' Maybe some of Jane's art supplies?
Jane saw Mack come out of the house. “I thought I'd let you know, that Upchuck's here,” he said.
“I can handle him,” Jane said with a shrug.
“Are you sure?”
“Of course.”
“But can Daria?” Mack wondered.
Brittany looked over the table. There was plenty of food. Enough for three times the number of people present. She was sure more people would arrive.
Robert Koreleski knocked on the door of the house. Angie opened it. “Good Evening Robert,” the latter said, knowing the former's perchant for politeness.
“So this is the place, Ma'am?”
“It is,” Angie answered. “Although I must warn you. Some of the band members are eccentric.”
“Cool, Ma'am.”
“Do you know if anyone else is coming.”
“A few, Ma'am.”
“Who?”
“More of my team mates,” Robert answered. “And Ted, Jenna and Koichei..”
“I see,” Angie said.
#andrea hecuba#brittany taylor#charles 'upchuck' ruttheimer iii#daria#fanfic#jane lane#michael 'mack' mackenzie#quinn morgendorffer#sandi griffin#stacy rowe#tiffany blum-deckler
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Conversation
Upchuck: We could play "spin-the-bottle".
Sandi: Yeah! Or we could play..."spin-Upchuck-and-hit-him-with-a-bottle"!
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Daria in the Background - Part 7
Mega Mall Tribulations
Lawndale High October 28th, 10:24 AM
“In Economics, we call this flow,” Mrs. Diane Bennett said. “We have a scenario of supply and demand, where a new demand is created by a previous supply. Does everyone follow?” She paused, waiting for the class to answer. “Can anyone give me a concrete representation of this abstract theory?” She paused, again before calling on the new student, “Daria.”
‘Why is she calling on me?’ Daria wondered. She sighed and said. “Concrete? Then I’ll go with the mall, the repository of greed in today’s consumerist culture.”
“Very good, Daria. The mall is a very beautiful illustration of all these economic principles. In fact, it would make for an excellent field trip,” Mrs. Bennett said.
‘Field trip!’ Daria thought with slight panic.
“All right! Field trip!” Kevin said. He leaned over to Daria. “Where are we going, man?”
Daria looked down and didn’t answer the quarterback.
“Daria?” Kevin asked.
“We'll visit that brand new Mall of the Millennium. It's a perfect emblem of a modern day economic structure.”
Daria shook her head. She didn’t like that idea at all. She had enough trouble with a normal mall when she had to go to one.
“What’s wrong, Daria? It’s your idea, and it’s perfect,” Mrs. Bennet.
“I second Daria,” Jodie Landon said. “The mall can be dangerous influence on today's teens, and the crowds can be intimidating to those who are introverts.”
“We'll take a vote. All in favor of a class trip to the mall next Friday instead of our usual surprise quiz?”
Most of the class raised their hands.
“Those opposed,” Bennett asked.
Daria, Jodie and a girl wearing a paint splattered red sweater raised their hands.
“This is great! Kevin and I love going to the mall during school,” Brittany said.
Mrs. Bennett frowned.
“I mean, between classes. I mean... what do I mean, babe?” Brittany added.
“I’m sorry, Mrs. Bennet,” Daria said. “I can’t go to the Mall. I get anxious around large groups of people.”
“But you’re with a large group of people right now.”
“And I’m anxious every morning when I see the crowd in front of the school.”
A Lawndale High Bus on State Route 30, 4 to 5 miles out of Lawndale, October 26, 9:32 AM
Daria was already queasy. Brittany had noticed and was trying to comfort her. “Thanks Brittany.”
“I remember what happened at the party,” Brittany said.
“It’s not that this time. I’m carsick.”
“Ooh!” Brittany responded. “But you can come to me for help if it happens again.”
“Thanks, Brittany.”
Mall of the Millennium Parking Lot, 11:18 AM
Daria wasn’t sure why they had to take another method of public transportation to get into the Mall of the Millennium. After that rather bumpy bus ride, she was quite nauseous. She threw up as the tram started moving. “Welcome to the Mall of the Millennium,” Brittany said, while rubbing her back.
Daria thanked Brittany again, but the cheerleader was distracted as Kevin did something stupid. She sighed.
Somewhere in the Mall of the Millennium, 11:33 AM
“Everyone, we'll walk down R Moss, and turn right at Q Canary. Please keep the flow, people, please keep the flow,” Mrs. Bennet said as she tried to direct the class.
“Look, Mack Daddy! The Sports Shorts! A whole store full of shorts for sports!” Kevin said.
“Uh-huh,” Mack said, too tired from the bus trip to rebut the use of that nickname.
“Everyone, we'll walk down R Moss, and turn right at Q Canary. Please keep the flow, people, please keep the flow,” Mrs. Bennett said.
“Who would ever guess there'd be so many colors? The person who thought them all up must be a genius,” Brittany said.
“Yeah, and we haven’t even got to puke green yet,” Jane Lane said.
Daria glared at the artist briefly from where she stood behind Brittany, before turning away.
“Left at N Cranberry,” Mrs. Bennett said. She was concerned. “Wait, is that cranberry or magenta? Jane, you're an artist.”
“It’s Cranapple,” Jane supplied.
“Mrs. B? Can we please stop for a minute at Bikini Island? I'd like to buy a few trifles for the ladies, and perhaps you'd care to pick out something for yourself?” Charles Ruttheimer asked.
“Not now, Charles!” the teacher admonished. “We'll be late for our meeting with the mall executives. I had to work very hard to arrange this. These are very important, very busy...” She was then distracted as she noticed… “Fuzzy Wuzzy Wee Bits!” She then went on about how she and her husband were avid collectors of Fuzzy Wuzzy Wee Bits!
‘Of course!’ Daria thought. Maybe now they had to deal with rather annoyed Mall executives.
However, Mrs. Bennett snapped out of her reverie and they were soon on their way.
Daria was certain of one thing. They were being used. Mrs. Bennett had signed up the class as unwitting pawns in market research.
“And of course, when you go to the mall, you look for what?” one of the executives asked.
“Bikinis! Make that lovely, luscious, ladies in bikinis!” Charles proclaimed.
“Yeah,” Kevin agreed.
Brittany elbowed him in his back.
“Ow!”
“Feisty!”
“I always look for security guards leading away someone in handcuffs. Shoplifters are the best judges of merchandise,” Jane said.
‘Was that cynicism?’ Daria wondered.
“I meant more along the line of the qualities you look for? The stores? What should they be like?” another of the executives asked.
Daria saw that Brittany wasn’t paying attention, but was examining herself in the mirror. ‘I bet that’s a two way,’ she thought, hoping that the helpful cheerleader wasn’t being ogled.
“What?” the first executive asked upon seeing this.
“What?” Brittany asked, after hearing the executive.
“I have a question,” Jodie said. “Do you think our demographic can really be addressed by middle-aged middle managers telling us what's fun to buy?”
The executives were then at a loss for words. One of them turned to Daria. “How about you? How many times a year do you go to the mall?”
“Not often,” she answered before she ducked behind Brittany.
Brittany turned and whispered in her ear. “Did you want to say something else?”
Daria got out a notebook and wrote something quickly. She handed the sheet to Brittany, and backed off.
“Sure,” Brittany said as she twirled her hair. She turned back to the executive. “Don't people usually get paid for participating in market research?”
“Research?” the executive asked in a strangled voice.
Daria did have a point, Brittany considered after she had read her written question.
“Now, Brittany, these busy executives have been nice enough to give their time to help educate us on mall economics,” Mrs. Bennett said. “Tell us about flow, would you?” she asked one of the executives.
“OK,” one of the other executives said. He began talking about flow, in words more obtuse than Mrs. Bennett used.
As the executive talked on, Jodie realised that Daria (given that she had seen her give Brittany a piece of paper) was right. She then went over to switch the light off. There was a collective gasp from the class.
“The focus group is, um, a very important tool in mall management. We thought that with this live demonstration...” one of the executives fumbled.
“I feel used. I feel abused. I feel that this is not a fun mall after all and the media should be made aware of it,” Jodie said.
“All right, little lady,” the first executive said, taking something out of his pocket. “Here's a coupon for a free frozen yogurt.”
“Don’t insult me!”
The executive took out something else. “Make it a ten-dollar merchandise coupon?”
“You're still insulting her,” Jane spoke up.
“Make it a twenty dollar coupon for everyone in the class.”
‘That will do,’ Jodie thought. She didn’t want to rock the boat too much. Daria looked disappointed but took her coupon without a verbal complaint.
The class was soon out in a corridor again. They looked at the coupons they had been given.
“Books by the Ton. ‘The country’s biggest bookstore’? Oh Man!” Kevin complained.
“The Sports Shorts?” Upchuck asked.
“Aw man!” Kevin complained again.
“Scissor Wizard,” Jane considered. “I can actually use a new pair of scissors.”
Daria looked at the coupon she got. “Cuter Computer. I suppose I could get a game or two.”
“Doo Dad?” Brittany asked. “What’s that?”
Mrs. Bennet gave out assignments to the students. “Daria and Andrea, you’ll observe traffic patterns at the food concessions, and Kevin and Brittany, you will study and report back on shrinkage.”
“What’s shrinkage?” Kevin asked.
“Shrinkage is the retailing term for shoplifting. I'd like you to analyze its economic impact. Does everyone else understand their assignments?”
She reminded them to meet back at that area at 2:45. After some confusion caused by Kevin ineffectually coming up with a mnemonic device she implored the class to write it down.
Andrea looked at Daria as the class scattered. “Traffic patterns at the food concessions. Sounds good,” she said.
“Let’s go,” Daria murmured.
The two of the then walked along awkwardly. ‘It’s like she doesn’t want to get to know me,’ Andrea thought. She wasn’t sure what to make of that.
Elsewhere. Daria’s sister, Quinn and her friends had skipped school, and were looking for ‘unfashionable’ people to make over.
Stacy Rowe noticed a couple of girls who’d be perfect.
“Wow, you’re right. They need help,” Tiffany Blum-Deckler responded.
“Especially the one on the left. She really needs volumizer. And maybe some subtle streaks,” Quinn said.
“And a little skort set,” Sandi Griffin added. “Have you seen the new skorts? Really cute.”
“Is it a skirt or is it shorts? I love that,” Stacy said.
“I wonder if they make skorts for sports!” Tiffany said.
Quinn tapped one of the girls on her shoulder. She turned around. “Ah!” Quinn let out. It was Daria.
“Good to see you, too,” Daria murmured upon seeing Quinn. “Well. What an unexpected opportunity for sibling bonding.”
“I’m going to be sick,” Quinn said.
“Is that a family thing?” Andrea asked.
Quinn turned back to the her friends “Just one sec, guys. I'm interviewing our first makeover candidate.”
She turned back to the Daria and the Goth girl. “I’m sure your parents would have something to say about this,” the latter said.
“You wouldn’t!” Quinn said to Daria.
“I would!” Daria said. “But I won’t if you do most of my chores for the next month.”
“A month?” Quinn asked.
“Maybe some of her allowance,” Andrea suggested.
“I don’t need it. Besides a ride home would be better than taking the bus back,” Daria said to Andrea.
Andrea nodded. “I saw Brittany helping you earlier.”
There was something about the way she said the cheerleader’s name, but Daria decided that it was definitely not her business.
“Why should I?” Quinn asked.
“Otherwise you wouldn’t spend any time in a mall for the rest of your sorry adolescent life?” Daria responded.
“Fine! Meet us in an hour on level five, area D, section Lavender.”
“D Lavender Five,” Daria said as she wrote it down.
“Time for lunch?” Andrea asked as the Fashion Club walked away,
“Yes. I’m rather sure I puked up breakfast,” Daria considered. “I’ll need a favor,” she murmured.
“I’ll tell Mrs. Bennett what you’re doing.”
“Not only her.”
“I’m not talking to Brittany!” Andrea said. ‘No way!’ she thought. It would be too awkward. It still hurt that they had drifted apart as friends.
“You don’t have to tell her directly,” Daria suggested.
“I guess so,” Andrea murmured.
Jane found Scissor Wizard and found that it was a hair salon. ‘Of course,’ she thought.
“You got here in time,” one of the hairdressers said.
“I've got this coupon,” Jane responded. “But I just wanted a pair of scissors,” she added as the hairdresser lead her to a chair.
“We don't sell scissors, we cut hair,” the hairdresser pointed out. “What show?”
“What?” Jane asked in confusion.
“Which TV show do you want your style from? Most of our clients go for a sitcom. Although, you're more the ‘movie of the week’ type. I have a TV Guide if you want to browse.”
“Have you ever seen Sick Sad World?”
“No.”
“Too bad,” Jane said.
“Any other shows?”
“None that are considered mainstream.”
The hairdresser sighed, then said. “Listen, maybe you should come another time. My next appointment is here.”
“What about my coupon?” Jane asked.
“I’ll buy it off you.”
“Sure.”
Daria and Andrea found the Doo Dad shop and saw Kevin and Brittany come out of the store. “You can tell her yourself!” Andrea said.
“Sure.”
“Did you see the cute little thingy with the cute thingy?” Brittany asked Kevin.
“I got it for you, Babe.”
“Oh, Kev, this is the first cute thingy that you've bought me since...” she realised something. “Wait, you didn’t steal this, did you?”
“It was Shrinkage, Babe.”
Daria waited while Kevin was dragged back into the store by his girlfriend.
“Daria?” Brittany asked after she emerged from the Doo Dad shop a second time. She could see Andrea in the distance looking at a different shop.
“I wanted to say that I’ve found another way home, so I won’t endure carsickness on the bus,” Daria said.
“Oh! Who is it?”
“My sister and her friends.”
After Brittany and Kevin had gone off, Daria and Andrea entered the Doo Dad Shop.
Suddenly, the staff surrounded Andrea. “When your feeling bad or mad or sad, buy a doo dad! You'll feel glad! It's not too sad, to buy a doo dad, today!”
“What are you doing to me?” Andrea asked.
“You're our lucky ten-thousandth customer. All these doo dads are yours for free!” the store manager said as he placed a pile of Doo Dads in her arms.
“I don’t want this stuff!” Andrea protested.
“Neither do I.” Daria said. She made herself scarce.
Andrea dumped the load of Doo Dads on the Manager’s feet and ran out of the store before they could take a photograph.
Glen Oaks Lane, Lawndale; 4:21 PM
The car driven by the hapless boy the Fashion Club had recruited pulled into the Morgendorffers’ driveway.
Daria and Andrea got out first, followed by Quinn, who took the stuff she had bought out of the trunk. “Thanks Guy,” she said.
Daria turned to Andrea as the car drove away and Quinn opened the front door. “I’ll see you around.”
“Same here.”
#andrea hecuba#brittany taylor#charles 'upchuck' ruttheimer iii#daria#daria morgendorffer#diane bennett#fanfic#jane lane#jodie landon#kevin thompson#malled#quinn morgendorffer#sandi griffin#stacy rowe#tiffany blum-deckler
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13th January 2022 Writings
13th
Excerpt from: Reverse Map Game 2022
Hilary Clinton is elected to be Barak Obama’s successor as POTUS.
Slovakia and Croatia join the European Union.
Africa
In the Central African Republic, the last of the former Central African Empire forces are defeated.
Treaty of Cabinda. Cabinda is transferred from Brazilian to Angolan rule.
Zimbabwe rejoins the Commonwealth.
Oceania
Australia
The Rudd Labor Government looses power in the Federal election. Malcolm Turnbull becomes Prime Minister. (For the next seven years before Morrison’s leadership challenge,)
Space
The Curiosity rover lands on Mars, and begins its missio
Words: 87
Excerpt from: Daria in the Background
“The focus group is, um, a very important tool in mall management. We thought that with this live demonstration...” one of the executives fumbled.
“I feel used. I feel abused. I feel that this is not a fun mall after all and the media should be made aware of it,” Jodie said.
“All right, little lady,” the first executive said, taking something out of his pocket. “Here's a coupon for a free frozen yogurt.”
“Don’t insult me!”
The executive took out something else. “Make it a ten-dollar merchandise coupon?”
“You're still insulting her,” Jane spoke up.
“Make it a twenty dollar coupon for everyone in the class.”
‘That will do,’ Jodie thought. She didn’t want to rock the boat too much. Daria looked disappointed but took her coupon without a verbal complaint.
The class was soon out in a corridor again. They looked at the coupons they had been given.
“Books by the Ton. ‘The country’s biggest bookstore’? Oh Man!” Kevin complained.
“The Sports Shorts?” Upchuck asked.
“Aw man!” Kevin complained again.
“Scissor Wizard,” Jane considered.
Words: 176
Excerpt from: Phineas and Ferb – Candace: OWCA Agent
Candace arrived at Doofenshmirtz’s penthouse to find it empty. “Where is he?” she asked herself. She knew that he had other properties around Danville, but he rarely used them. She then used her watch to access the OWCA database. The information soon came back. There were a lot of places he could be. ‘Right,’ she thought as she used her OWCA credentials to access the municipal CCTV networks across the Tri-State Area.
Words: 72
Excerpt from: Troubles of the Two Universities
It least the lecture would be interesting. She took out a come and continued to comb out her hair as she waited for it to start.
History of Canada in the late 20th Century
She came of the lecture refreshed.
“Isabella?”
She turned and saw one of her college floormates. “Wendy?”
“What were you up to earlier? Wendy Lawson asked.
Had she seen her at the cafe? “What do you mean?” Isabella got out.
Words: 74
Excerpt from: Daria – 2nd February
“Daria?” It was Quinn, along with the other members of the Fashion Club.
'Crap!' She thought as she noticed Sandi Griffin's bemused expression.
“What's going on?” Quinn asked.
“Nothing, Quinn!” Brittany said.
“You're up to something, I know it,” Quinn said.
Words: 41
Excerpt from: Adventures in Armidale – Armidale at Night
She could hear the various frogs, birds and insects making their calls around the college. She was glad that the yniversity blended into the environment around it. The different perspective allowed her to see the nearby buildings slightly differently.
Words: 39
Total: 482
#alternate history#brittany taylor#candace flynn#charles 'upchuck' ruttheimer iii#daria#daria morgendorffer#fanfic#jane lane#january writing#jodie landon#kevin thompson#malled#original fiction#quinn morgendorffer#phineas and ferb#sandi griffin
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