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phoenix-downer · 4 years

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Circling Penelope

Sora/Kairi. Post-canon. Angst, romance, hope. Based off of the Odyssey. 3000 words.

Time didn’t have any meaning anymore, and the usual boundaries between waking and sleep and death had all been blurred together. That meant Sora had no break, no relief from his thoughts. And they traveled to Kairi almost constantly.

He pulled her lucky charm out of his pocket and stared at it. How many weeks and months had passed in the Realm of Light? How many days and nights had she spent waiting for him to return to her like he said he would, only to be disappointed because he still wasn’t home yet?

“Kairi, I’ll come back to you, I promise,” he said as he stroked the shell that had his face on it.

The Final World was endless though. He was on a journey that had no clear path. Sure, the destination was obvious, but how to get there was the real question. His wanderings just took him through endless memories and shifting tides of scenery. A meandering odyssey with no way of knowing how to get back to his Penelope.

“Just once, I’d like to see her again. Just once. Is that really so hard?” he asked no one in particular. All he got was silence in response, same as ever. Sighing, he kept walking forward, and ripples spread out from underneath him. One foot in front of the other in the hopes that it really would bring him a step closer to home. A step closer to her.

“Sora…” came a voice from far away. Her voice.

He perked up. “Kairi? Is that you?”

He sped up, and the scenery around him began to shift. The water beneath him swelled and pulsed till it formed waves pulled by some invisible moon. The sands of the Play Island rolled in, and the familiar trees and shack and waterfall all sprang into existence. It was like watching a popup book come to life, a realm from some happy fairytale.

And best of all, someone very important was here, standing on the shore facing away from him. She turned, and her entire face lit up when she saw him.

“Sora!”

“Kairi!”

He broke into a run, not caring that the waves were doing their best to keep them apart. The water sloshed all around him as he tried his best to reach her, and she likewise ran towards him. Right when he was about to reach shore though, he halted. Darkness was swirling around her feet. Was this really his Kairi, or was it just another illusion?

“Sora?” she asked, tilting her head, her eyes questioning, curious.

“You’re not real,” he said, hanging his head as he fought the awful sinking feeling in his stomach. “The real Kairi doesn’t have any darkness in her.”

She stared at him, unblinking. “Why wouldn’t I?”

“You’re still a Princess of Heart. That means you’re not like me. You don’t have darkness in you like I do.”

“But I’ve had plenty of reason to grow darkness in my heart. Losing my heart, getting kidnapped, getting broken into pieces… and being abandoned by you.”

He clenched his fists. “Kairi, you know I never wanted to leave you—”

“But you did.”

He just stared at her. His own heart felt like someone was stabbing it with a knife as tears filled her eyes. He never wanted to be the reason she cried.

“Why do you keep abandoning me?” she asked, her lower lip trembling and her voice quaking.

“I haven’t abandoned you!” he cried. “This is just a temporary separation, I promise!”

“You’re dead, and nothing you can do can change that. Which means… you can’t keep your promise.”

“Kairi, I swear I won’t let anything stand in the way of us being together anymore.”

He really, truly meant it. He was sick of not following through for her. He was tired of everything else getting in the way, like he and Kairi were forever doomed to be apart.

She sniffed and wiped her eyes. “Then prove it to me. Come ashore.”

She held her hand out, and he tensed. The darkness was still swirling around her feet. How did he know this wasn’t just some trick? What if going ashore and taking this Kairi’s hand doomed him to be separated from the real Kairi?

Was this even a fake Kairi? Maybe it was the real deal. Maybe this was some side of Kairi that she didn’t let anyone else see.

“Kairi, I—”

She lowered her hand. “It’s okay. This is what you do best. Leave me behind to fulfill your duty to everyone else.”

Her words were full of bitterness. Another stab to his heart.

“I told you, I’m not gonna live like that anymore! You’re my priority now.” He took a deep breath. “And by ‘you,’ I mean the real you. This is just an illusion, it has to be. I have to get back to the real Kairi.”

“What if this is how you’ll get back to me? What if this is your only chance?”

“It can’t be.”

“But what if it is? Which would you prefer, an eternity of solitude spent looking for me, or getting to be with me here and now?”

He stared at her, took in the way the breeze blew through her red hair, how the sun made her eyes shine. She looked so small, standing on the beach all alone. He wanted to hold her, to comfort her. Wanted to make up for abandoning her and leaving her behind.

“You’re lonely,” she said softly. “So lonely you can hardly bear it. No one is meant to be alone, least of all you. Your journey has been long and hard, and you deserve to rest.”

Rest. What he wouldn’t give to finally sleep. He hadn’t been able to, not since he got here.

“Sora, please, stay with me. Even if it’s only for a little while.”

“I guess… a little while wouldn’t hurt.”

She finally smiled again. “No, it wouldn’t. Just a short break before you continue on your journey.”

A short break sounded nice. He hadn’t had much of one in a long time.

He took a step closer.

She held her arms out, and he wanted to hug her really badly now. “I told you, remember?” she said with her classic Kairi charm. “You’re safe with me.”

“Safe with you, yeah.”

He took a few more steps. A hug would be really, really nice. It had been way too long since he’d felt the warmth of another person. And to go so long without her warmth—

He broke into a run and flung himself into her arms. Hugging her was as good as he remembered. He ran his hand over her hair and pulled her as close as possible. Whatever the danger might be, this was more than worth the risk.

“I’m back,” he said, glad at last to be reunited with her. But she was oddly silent.

“Kairi?” he asked, leaning back a little to search her face. Why hadn’t she given him her usual return greeting?

“I’m glad we’re together again,” she said with a smile. A nagging thought at the back of his mind told him this was wrong, this was all wrong, and yet… he couldn’t bring himself to leave.

She reached for his hand. “Come with me.”

He let her lead him towards the Secret Place before taking one final look behind him. The sea stretched into the horizon, and he thought he heard his name rolling in with the tide.

Then Kairi squeezed his hand, and he turned to look at her. “Coming!” he promised, and the rest of his hesitation melted away.

So long as he and Kairi were together, everything would be fine.

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Being with Kairi was as good as he’d imagined. He’d missed talking to her, hanging out with her, seeing her smile, hearing her laughter. They had all the time in the worlds now to themselves, just like he’d always wanted. They spent hours together on the Play Island, doing things they’d done as kids and revisiting nostalgic memories.

And yet… this nagging voice at the back of his mind still wouldn’t leave him alone. Everything was right and good except for that.

“Sora?” Kairi asked with a frown as he stared out at the sea. The two of them were making a sandcastle like they always used to with… with…

“Where’s everyone else? The other people we used to hang out with, I mean.”

“We’re together, that’s all that matters.”

She added another bucket’s worth of sand to the castle like that settled the issue.

“Yeah, I know, but… don’t you think it’s weird that we’re the only people here? And I can’t… I can’t remember our friends’ names.”

He frowned. Something like this had happened before. His memories had gotten all mixed up. But that time it was his memories of Kairi that he’d lost. This was… the opposite?

“How come I’m having trouble remembering them, but I can remember you just fine?” he asked.

She shrugged. “It’s been a long time since you’ve seen them. Maybe that’s why?”

“It hasn’t been that long, has it?”

“Almost a year, I think. It’s okay, people fall out of touch when they don’t see each other.”

“A year?!” he demanded. “I’ve been here for an entire year?”

She put her hand on his arm. “You’ve been with me for almost an entire year,” she said sweetly. “That’s the longest we’ve been together in a long time.”

“Shouldn’t our friends be here? Where are they?”

Her perfect mouth twisted into a pout. “Are you saying I’m not good enough for you?”

“No, that’s not it at all! I just—”

She scooted away from him, a wounded look on her face. “You want to leave me behind again, don’t you?”

“Kairi, never, I never want to leave you—”

“But you do. I’m not good enough anymore. You can’t keep your promise after all.”

She buried her face in her hands, and his heart sank. He hadn’t meant to make her unhappy. He was just wondering where everyone else was.

“I will keep my promise,” he said softly as he put his arm around her. “I’ll stay with you, always and forever.”

Her face brightened, and she leaned against him. “Thank you, Sora. I know I can always count on you.”

He smiled, but it felt kinda fake, even for him. He would keep his promise, but… the nagging at the back of his mind hadn’t gotten any better. In fact, it had gotten worse. This place was wrong. He felt it on such a gut level that he knew this whole situation couldn’t be okay.

But being with Kairi? That felt right. He could ignore the wrongness a little longer if it meant being with her.

The voice whispering over the waves was so faint he barely heard it anymore.

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Sora was frolicking in the sea with Kairi today. He never swam out far because it made her upset, but they enjoyed swimming in the shallows together. They were enjoying a vigorous game of “splash me” when something bumped up against his leg.

A bottle? He lifted it out of the water to get a closer look. When he glanced around, Kairi was still safely underwater. There was a letter inside the bottle, and he pulled it out.

Sora,

You’re trapped in an endless dream. None of what you’re seeing is real, and you have to get away from the phantom. She’s the one keeping you there, and you’ll never be free so long as you’re under her spell.

The letter wasn’t signed. Sora’s hand shook a little as he tried to come to grips with what it said.

“I’m… trapped?”

“What’s that? A letter?”

He yelped and jumped in the air. Kairi was right behind him now, peering over his shoulder. He dropped the letter into the water, and she frowned and fished it out.

“Huh? It’s blank.”

Sure enough, the message was gone like it had never even been there. Sora took a deep breath to calm his nerves, then looked at Kairi.

“Weird, huh? Guess it was just a prank.”

“Guess so.”

He tossed the bottle back into the water and followed her to shore. But this time, the voice coming over the waves was a little louder, and he couldn’t get what the letter had said out of his head.

Was he really trapped?

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The bottles kept coming. The letters inside all had variations of the same message, and the writing always disappeared by the time Kairi noticed and tried to read them.

“This really is strange,” she said with an airy laugh. “Letters without any message? Who would send those? And so many, too.”

“I don’t know,” Sora said, “but it’s really freaking me out.”

He didn’t tell her why, of course. If the letter-writer was telling the truth, if he really was trapped here because the person he thought was Kairi really wasn’t Kairi at all, then spilling the beans was a terrible idea. He couldn’t tip her off that something was wrong because then she might try to stop him from leaving.

And something was wrong. He could feel it in the depths of his soul, in the deepest parts of his heart. The nagging thought at the back of his head had gotten more and more insistent. He had to figure out a way out of here, and soon.

When she was getting supplies from the Seaside Shack one afternoon, the answer presented itself in the form of yet another bottle. The letter inside was different this time.

Come home to me, please.

Kairi

The answer he’d been waiting for, ever since he’d arrived here and told this Kairi “I’m back.” The right answer, the true answer, the answer the real Kairi would’ve given him. These messages were from her. They had been all along.

The world around him spun and he felt sick to his stomach. How long had he made her wait, and all for an illusion? An illusion that had promised him comfort in his loneliness and desperation, but an illusion nonetheless. He’d sold the real Kairi out with hardly a fight because he was that easily swayed. That easily deceived.

No, that wasn’t true. He’d known he was being deceived. He’d just enjoyed the deception so much he’d played along with it for a while. But he couldn’t anymore. He just couldn’t. This fake, this illusion, couldn’t compare to the real Kairi, and he wanted to be reunited with her as soon as possible. No more making her wait. Not for one more second.

He tucked Kairi’s letter into his pocket. Even if the writing faded, this was proof he was doing the right thing. Every step closer was a step closer to home. A step closer to Kairi.

“Sora?” the illusion asked from behind him, and he froze.

When he turned his head, she was there, her eyes staring at him, unblinking. A smile was plastered on her face, but he shuddered as he stared at her. How had he ever thought this was the real Kairi? Whatever this was, it was so cold, so empty, so fake.

“I’m leaving,” he said. “I’m leaving, and you can’t stop me.”

She tilted her head. “But you promised. You promised you’d stay.”

“I promised Kairi I would be with her. Not you.”

“But I am Kairi.”

“No, you’re not. You’re just a fake. An illusion. You’ve kept me away from her long enough.”

Her lower lip trembled and her eyes filled with tears. “You’re really leaving me? But you’ll be all alone. I never wanted you to be alone.”

“I won’t be alone. I’ll be back with Kairi.”

She shook her head. “We’ll both be alone. Don’t leave me, please.”

As he watched her cry, his stomach twisted itself into knots. A part of him wanted to comfort her, even though he knew it was a fake.

It was a fake, right?

But her tears… those were real enough.

He sighed and retraced his steps, then wrapped his arms around her as she cried. Fake or not, he couldn’t stand to see any version of Kairi cry.

She sniffed and leaned back a little, then cupped his cheek.

“You’re right. I’m not the real Kairi. But you’ve been so kind to me… so good to me… that I couldn’t help but want to be with you.”

Before he could react, she was standing on her tiptoes and pressing her lips against his. A soft, gentle kiss of farewell. This much he would allow her. He didn’t stop her because his compassion got the better of him. He would go home to the real Kairi, that much was certain. But he couldn’t begrudge even a fake Kairi a moment of comfort. It just went against every feeling of tender compassion he held for her in his heart.

“Now go, find your Kairi,” she said sadly. “She’s waiting for you.”

He nodded, then turned away from her and faced the sea. He knew he couldn’t look back. No matter how difficult it was, he had to keep moving forward. Only then would he and Kairi be reunited.

As he waded into the sea again, the voice on the waves was louder now. It was all around him, and he knew he recognized it.

It was Kairi’s. It had been all along. She’d been guiding his way home, even when he’d gotten lost.

“I’m coming, Kairi,” he said as the water got deeper. “I know I’ve asked a lot of you, but I’ll be home soon, I promise.”

With that he dove underwater, ready to meet her no matter how long the journey, no matter how much time it took to find her. Seeing her again would be worth every step, and for her, he would travel the entire universe if that was what it took.

She was his home, and no matter what happened, that would never change.

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A/N: Charlie requested a kiss prompt between Phantom!Kairi and Sora, so this fic is dedicated to her! Originally the prompt was set in her Blight Sora AU as per her request, but then it kind of took on a life of its own and made its way into some unspecified period during Limit Cut. A big thank you for the prompt! It was really interesting exploring Kairi’s abandonment issues and Sora’s guilt over (very much unwillingly) leaving her behind again in more depth.

I’d also like to thank @rapis-razuri for her help; she gave me the suggestion that I go for a Circe-and-Odysseus kind of a vibe when I hit a rut, and she also came up with the title. It’s a pun on Circe’s name and also ties into the whole “Sora = Odysseus” and “Kairi = Penelope” idea that’s been kicking around our brains for a while. If you think about it, the story after KH3 is an odyssey of sorts for Sora... and Kairi as well, based on how Re:Mind and Limit Cut went.

Anyway, hope you enjoyed! This marks the final kiss prompt I was requested to write! If you’d like to read the other ones, they are “A kiss to pretend,” “A good morning kiss,” “A kiss on a falling tear,” “A kiss in secrecy,” “A kiss in public,” “A kiss out of necessity/A kiss to wake up,” “A kiss for luck,” and “A kiss because the world is ending” plus its follow-up chapters.

#sokai #sora #kairi #kingdom hearts #kh fanfiction #phoenix writes #phoenix downer #romance #angst #hope #kissing #based off of greek mythology #based off of the odyssey #post-canon #post canon #chachacharlieco #long post

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