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krysanthii · 4 months

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I find Olrox to be a interesting character because he always speaks in double meaning which everything can be put into interpretation. For example: first episode; “Don’t listen to her Richter there is always a choice.”

Kinda found it strange why Olrox spoke to Richter first and even at all! Why communicate with the kid if he was solely there to kill Julia? Than it’s followed up years later where Richter pulls the same question on Olrox too. Perhaps he gave Julia a choice between sparing his lover’s life or he’ll hunt her down and kill her. Or if he hurt her son which is unlikely because I don’t see Olrox hurting kids.

Another example with Olrox seeking Mizrak out in the courtyard when he straddles Mizrak and playfully says: “let’s do this again, somewhere more comfortable”

That did itch my brain a little and I assume it was just queer baiting or a funny innuendo for the fan service or that Olrox wishes to discuss some where comfortable that is environmentally friendly because he is a vampire and they were out in the sun. Next scene they were in bed and oh— OH! congratulations on the show writers for not pulling back any punches! In the inn scene it’s far more insightful when Olrox drops in that “there are demons that were gods and some that still are” which Mizrak throws a hissy fit that there is ONE God. He doesn’t humor Olrox on that any further and stalks off. Olrox walks into the window watching him leaving while standing around direct sunlight and scoffs at Mizrak’s “one god” as if there is only ONE and that his only one god can protect him. Which brings to mind that Olrox being the avatar of Quetzalcoatl is far stronger and completely on the nose. As if saying Mizrak’s only one god will not protect him and it’s Olrox that protected Mizrak in the big fight in the end.

In the alley Drolta finds Olrox eating his Happy Meal and asks if he likes “striking terror in the hearts of children.” Which Olrox assumes the scrappy boy that ran off and he prefers to eat zesty blue bloods from the nobles. Drolta clarifies she meant Richter which he responds to “oh, him.” Richter was not in his mind at all. Richter didn’t have make much of an impact compared to how Olrox had on Richter. He calls Richter “SON of an old foe.” He doesn’t see Richter as a foe or enemy. He sort of smiles and is blasé about it. Julia was his enemy who killed his lover and his revenge died with her. Richter was simply collateral damage and not his enemy. So he doesn’t have any ill will towards Richter.

Another with Drolta and Olrox having a mid night stroll in the cemetary when she talks about creating a new world. Those can be two different things. One of them can be and OBVIOUSLY the fall of the Aztec empire where conquistadors wanted to convert the Aztec empire to Christianity and Catholic. Reading back in history the Aztec Empire became New Spain and the rest of South America like Colombia, Ecuador, and Venezuela were combined into a really powerful empire from New Spain or Viceroyalty of New Spain to The New Grenada and later The Grand Colombia. But that’s like years later.

His interactions with her are my favorite when he looks up at the sky and knows when the sun is coming up. Nor does he clarify when Drolta says vampires feel it because it’s dread. Olrox looks unbothered and asks her if she should be inside and concerned for her safety. Olrox si like Alucard and can be in the sun because of being the avatar of Quetzalcoatl. She asks flirtatiously where Olrox is staying while Olrox answers reciprocates the flirtation and says he likes “to keep his ear on the ground.” As if answering he likes to be a fly on the wall and to go unnoticed while watching everyone else tear down each other’s throats.

The most obvious part we see Olrox a little distress and and looking a bit vulnerable when he’s in the presence of Erzsebet. Olrox tends to butter people up with his interactions with playful banter but he doesn’t even hide his disgust on Erzsebet and doesn’t even let Drolta finish her introduction. His eye twitches whenever Erzsebet he refers to “dragon.”

Olrox is not a dragon but a serpent and dragons are a European creatures so referring Olrox a dragon is not only offensive but erasing his heritage and culture and who he is. Olrox is the avatar of Quetzalcoatl AKA the Feathered Serpent and it’s literally on the nose. Olrox gave a teeny tiny half ass bow when Drolta told him to and gave a full bow when Erzsebet showed off her glowy ball. The sheer disgust on his face not only tells me he had done this before. A lot of times from many conquerers he had to swallow his pride and bow. Anger, humiliation and that scathing look tells it all. He was forced to help these conquistadors to colonize his empire and slaughter his people and he’s reliving it again.

Another can of worms where Olrox pulls a Zuko officially joining on their side to take down Erzsebet. He has an ulterior motive and doesn’t want the world to be in eternal darkness. Olrox isn’t here to fight Richter at all and has nothing against him so their animosity is one sided. Olrox keeps a safe distance but not for himself but also Richter so he won’t get spooked. There is no audience to show off his influence like he had in cellar he was basically flirting or fucking with him. Calling Richter “Little Boy Belmont,” to unnerve him establish dominance and control of the situation so this fight won’t continue any further and mostly to protect Mizrak because Richter and Mizrak were about to brawl. Olrox was putting on a big show to showcase his powers and influence for the Abbot and Drolta to witness. Olrox has a reputation all the way across the ocean so he wanted to make a good impression and all he had to do was stand there and he made Richter Scooby Doo Run out of the cellar. The fight was neutralized and went on his merry way.

Olrox isn’t here to hurt Richter both physically or psychologically like that stunt in the cellar. It’s just them now in the woods. When Olrox says “I could’ve killed you three times by now, ironic I think for the both of us I need a Belmont.” I think there is more history between them that we did not see. Maybe it was with his mother and Olrox and Julia were friends or allies way back when. Olrox treated her with respect and calling her by her full name before the fight and was only here to kill Julia. He says he needs a Belmont but WHICH Belmont? It could be any Belmont! Julia was his go-to person before he killed her and Juste was in France and Richter was a child. Now he’s grown up and a fully realized hunter he’s capable of helping Olrox. I really don’t know what Olrox meant killing Richter “three times.” Maybe as a child, or in the cellar or now during the fight in the woods. There is an unspoken debt between Olrox and the Belmonts and during his long life he knew the Belmonts really well and had contact with them in some way.

Olrox is so mysterious of what he says or does and it isn’t subtle because there is always double meaning behind his words.

#castlevania olrox #castlevania #Olrox analysis #castlevania nocturne

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power-chords · 6 months

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Let us consider a life in which repetitions abound: my life, for instance. I never pass the Recoleta cemetary without remembering that my father, my grandparents, and my great-grandparents are buried there, as I shall be; then I remember that I have remembered the same thing many times before; I cannot stroll around the outskirts of my neighborhood in the solitude of night without thinking that night is pleasing to us because, like memory, it erases idle details; I cannot lament the loss of a love or a friendship without reflecting how one loses what one really never had; each time I cross one of the southside corners, I think of you, Helena; each time the air brings me the scent of eucalyptus I think of Adrogué in my childhood; each time I recall fragment 91 of Heraclitus, “You cannot step into the same river twice,” I admire his dialectical skill, for the facility with which we accept the first meaning (“The river is another”) covertly imposes upon us the second meaning (“I am another”) and gives us the illusion of having invented it; each time I hear a Germanophile deride Yiddish, I reflect that Yiddish is, after all, a German dialect, barely tainted by the language of the Holy Ghost. These tautologies (and others I shall not disclose) are my whole life. Naturally, they recur without design; they are variations of emphasis, temperature, light, general psychological state. I suspect, nonetheless, that the number of circumstantial variants is not infinite: we can postulate, in the mind of an individual (or of two individuals who do not know each other but in whom the same process is operative), two identical moments. Once this identity is postulated, we may ask: Are not these identical moments the same moment? Is not one single repeated terminal point enough to disrupt and confound the series in time [(or) the history of the world, to reveal that there is no such history]? Are the enthusiasts who devote themselves to a line of Shakespeare not literally Shakespeare?

Jorge Luis Borges, "A New Refutation of Time"

#jorge luis borges

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deepbluefrog · 6 months

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Baldur's Gate Cemetary

Where a night stroll with Astarion turns into something deeper... almost a night wedding over his own grave.

Good for them.

#baldur's gate 3 #bg3 #nowplaying #shadowheart #spoilers #astarion

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desert-bluffs-and-me · 9 months

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WTNV quick rundown - 82 - Skating Rink

Featuring the voices of Meg Bashwiner as Deb and Jackson Publick as Hiram McDaniels.

If you're happy and you know it, then the chemtrails are finally working. Welcome to Night Vale.

The Desert Flower Bowling Alley and Arcade Fun Complex is opening a skating rink. Teddy Williams says that prices are half off during opening week and there will be live music from local bands every Friday. He says there is absolutely no small civilisation living under it, however the ghosts of animals inhabit the walls because it's built on a pet cemetary.

Intern Kareem pesters Cecil into letting him go skating, which Cecil only agrees to because it's part of a story today. He reports that many well known citizens are there. It also seems like the massive hive mind of people that is City Council and the horrible Eldritch being that is Station Management go on a date at the new skating rink. Intern Kareem sees it all despite the fact that the lights go out because all interns are required to have nightvision goggles on them at all times. City Council feeds Station Management live mice. It's all very romantic. It also explains why City Council was in such a good mood today, not just leaving the City Hall but also strolling which nobody thought their bodies were anatomically capable of.

Weather: "Thinking of Milk" by Tristan Haze

Sheriff Sam mentions again that more Strangers are appearing all over town. They say that they believe these Strangers are citizens of Desert Bluffs abandoning their town but this is not confirmed. When asked whether they are still opposed to Dana's views on sending DB aid, they construct a statue out of rock before saying they don't disagree on everything. For example, Sam loves dogs and also wants to open the dog park. They mention that they saw the most adorable beagle puppy earlier.

Deb is sponsoring an ad for Pfizer. Despite this she says she doesn't work for the station, nor any of the companies she advertises. She somehow manages to slam a door without even moving it.

Hiram calls up Cecil's show to mention how they are only making one simulation of a 5 headed dragon and filling the rest of the jury with humans which he finds unfair and offensive. Also Violet, since he's not being charged, has a hole in the cell that he's allowed to stick out of.

Intern Kareem also mentions that Maureen, the beagle puppy and the boy in the hoodie were at the skating rink in a corner. He says that the sight of them made him feel uncomfortable but he couldn't say why.

Cecil says he was fulfilled being single, but that he enjoys lots of different aspects of love and romance and associated feelings he gets in various romantic situations and being together and wishes City Council and Station Management the best.

Stay tuned next for the best hits of the 50s, 60s, 70s, 80s, 90s, 2000s, 2010s, 2020s and beyond. And as always, good night Night Vale. Good night.

Proverb: Be careful what you wish for, because it probably won't come true and life is mostly about expectation management.

#wtnv #welcome to night vale #wtnv quick rundown #wtnv ep 82

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forensicated · 5 months

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Smiffina Episodes - Episode 312

Technically not a Smiffina episode, however it does include Smiffina involved things. And Gina background stuff that I might end up incorporating into a fic because the bunnies are biting so it's technically useful canon info - despite not doing any fic for over a decade. Damn you binge watching. So yes, just a little one.

It's the day the funeral for Adam's family with Gina attending as a family friend and Jack attending to pay his respects and represent the station. Gina tries to comfort Adam but he insists he doesn't want a fuss making. She later returns to the house for the wake, but Adam hasn't returned as he's still at the cemetary so she goes to find him and they go for a walk amongst the gravestones.

"Denise gave me the life you thought I wanted." He tells Gina. "I'll never forget the time we broke up, we were strolling along in Regent's Park, just like this. You told me it was over and then you walked away. Ironic isn't it, you only did it so I could have children and now they're lost to me anyway."

"You're totally self sufficient aren't you." He continues. "On the surface maybe." She admits, looking uncomfortable, telling him it's nothing in comparison to what he's going through. "I need-... we need you at the station." she tells him. Adam forces her to tell him what is wrong and she gently explains that she has cancer. "I shouldn't have told you that, not today." "Of course you should." Adam says, before adding. "I don't know how much more I can take." and then walks off leaving Gina looking lost.

Gina drives them both to Adam's for the wake to where everyone is inside. He asks her if she's getting treatment and she reassures him she is and that everything is under control. He asks about the side effects and how long she's been on it and gets angry when she tells him 2 months. His misplaced anger causes him to shout at her in front of the guests. "Even as your boss I had a right to know! All this time you've been a complete liability!" Gina gathers herself and quietly slips out with Adam already regretting what he's said.

#Episode 312 #Adam Okaro #Cyril Nri #Roberta Taylor #Gina Gold #smiffina #smiffinalong #the bill

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allovertheworldblog · 1 month

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Hannover, Germany

I moved on to Hannover after Lubeck and stayed in a strange hostel there for three nights.

It was a hostel in the grounds of a hotel.

You check in for the hostel at the hotel reception.

So as a backpacker you can experience delusions of grandeur walking through the hotel only to have your yourself brought back to earth when you have to traipse across the hotel car park and let yourself into the less grand hostel building.

The hostel is ten tram stops from the centre of the city, so once I’ve checked in I go back to check out Hannover.

I’m not too impressed by the city.

It has a similar look to post World War II cities in England.

There doesn’t appear on first look to be much that has survived extensive bombing by the British and US.

There are of course a couple of churches and public buildings in the centre and good parts of the suburbs of the city that survived.

Another survivor in the centre is the Maschsee, an artificial lake for recreation, that was made from 1934-36.

These days people still use it for boating and there’s a private bathing area at the part furthest from the city with a narrow beach.

At the other end there is a sign of the times of it’s construction.

The Berlin Olympics were held in 1936, the year the lake was completed.

To commemorate this fact a statue of an Olympic torch bearer was put on a plinth beside the lake at the city end.

The statue of the torch bearer is a male figure giving the Nazi salute.

The swastika that was on the plinth is long gone, apparently.

There aren’t many guests left in the hostel at this stage.

Just about the only other person in the 35-bed dorm is a guy from the Beyruth in the south of Germany who is studying in Hannover.

He’s staying in the hostel as the place he is going to rent for the college term is being painted.

I share my Argentinian wine and German beer with him and the following day he has left as his flat has finally been painted.

We have a good laugh about his plan for a bed in his new flat and about the writer John Le Carre’s description of former German Chancellor Adenauer.

For his bed he tells me that he will buy a mattress.

For the base he will get a load of beer crates and tie them together with cable ties.

When he’s moving out he brings the beer crates back to the shop and gets a deposit back for the crates.

How very German.

The next day he leaves two bottles of beer on the shelf in my cubicle.

While in Hannover I check out the Herrenhauser Gardens, which were a favourite of the Electors of Hannover.

They have a statue of the Electress Sophie who died from a heart attack during a stroll in the gardens.

The gardens are quiet because it’s the end of March.

They are predominantly green and look more sculptural than anything as there’s no colour variation.

Close to the hostel I see a sign for a war cemetary so I walk there to check it out.

The war cemetery is in the general cemetery.

There are two war cemeteries there.

One is for Dutch soldiers who died in WWII.

It looks like many such cemeteries the world over, small grave stones of uniform colour and uniform size with an inscription detailing who is buried underneath or commemorated there, their rank and years of birth and death.

The German one which is in a separate garden is an odd affair.

Again there are memorial stones or grave stones but they’re of different size with many names on them.

An area of the cemetery has exclusively Russian names.

In the centre a tall column bears the years 1914 and 1915 on one side, 1916/7/8 on another.

The third side lists 1939/40/41, the last side lists 1942/3/4/5.

And that’s it. A mention is made of ‘welt krieg’ or world war.

Generally this is how I look on the 1914-18 and 1939-45 periods as the times of the world wars.

Is this how Germans see it?

I wasn’t too sad to be leaving Hannover.

It didn’t strike me a lovely city or a city of inspiring architecture or even a very interesting place.

The people seemed friendly enough and maybe more matter of fact than other Germans.

One of the more interesting features of the square in front of the main station were the cables that supported the lights for the square.

Presiding over the square is an out of place and out of time statue of King Ernst August, who was king of Hannover and son of 'mad' King George IV of Great Britain.

A lot has changed in Hannover and Germany since you’ve been up on that stuffed horse Ernst August.

#travel #culture #photography

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isabelinrussia · 1 year

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An old Russian orthodox cemetary and the grounds of Kolomenskoye church. There were a few people walking around the park taking an evening stroll, and the church bells that would occasionally ring were beautiful to listen to in the quiet chilly air.

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whitepolaris · 1 year

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Tiny Graveyards

Maryland’s a state of great contrasts. On the other hand, there are thousands of dead in the massive Civil War cemeteries near Antietam, some named and some anonymous. And then there are smaller roadside graveyards with a dozen or fewer people. There are several sound examples of Maryland micro-cemeteries, but our favorite has to be a one-grave site in Fell’s Point.

The Name’s Bond. Cemetery Bond.

An integral part of every ghost tour of the Fell’s point district near Baltimore harbor is a stroll down Shakespeare Street to peer through the iron railings of the grandly named Bond Cemetery (or “Cemetary” as the stenciled sign has it). It’s a grand name because it marks the final resting place of four members of the Fell family. The brothers Edward and William Fell, who gave their name to the area in the early 1700s, lie there, and so do William’s son Edward and Edward’s son William. But they’re not actually inside the sarcophagus. That was erected in 1927, long after the Fell brothers and their children and grandchildren had passed away.

The reason this place is a staple of ghost tours is the tale of a well-dressed apparition who is reportedly often seen walking along Shakespeare Street but who fades away the closer he gets to the Fell graves. Because of his outdated clothing and the apparent destination of his walk, people say he’s probably one of the Fells, but who knows the real story?

#weird maryland #type read

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guessillcallitart · 2 years

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Riding the train to a university in Dublin every morning with iced coffee and a book, for a girl who romantisizes every aspect of her life, is very lovely but for me what makes it utterly fascinating, is the fact that I can see people's wings. Everyone has them. I look at the Asian girl next sitting next to me. Her wings are angelic and startlingly golden. Her eyes are almond shaped and kind, the colour of warm, rich chocolate brown. Her hair the colour of ebony cascades down her shoulders in a lustrous, shiny mane. Tiny rainbows are being cast on the wall by a slender, fair girl's wings clear as glass. Her eyes are a piercing sky blue. A boy with tousled, purple hair walks past me. His wings are a lovely shade of orange like Autumn leaves. The door at the end of the compartment slides open and a petite girl walks in. Her hair is messy, cut really short and dyed bright blue. She has sharp, light grey eyes and a lot of freckles. And her wings... They startle me. Two charred stubs protrude from her back like she's been to hell and back. She's Freya, I realize. Her sister, Ashley was brutally murdered a few weeks ago. Why haven't I noticed her wings before? Have they always looked like this? Wouldn't have I noticed? She slides on an isle seat and I notice I'm still staring at her. Quickly, I avert my gaze. I lean back in my seat listening to the loud roar of the train. Everything outside the window blurs together as the train speeds up. My thoughts blur together as well. I shut my eyes involuntarily. Chestnut coloured hair falls on her shoulders in soft curls. Sunlight lits up the coppery and turquoise highlights in them. There are clusters of dark brown freckles on her bare arms and face. She leans to look out of the window. the wind embracing her. The boy next to her runs his fingers through his shaggy, coppery hair. He looks at the girl with hungry, dark grey eyes. Just when the girl glances at him, the look is gone. "If you don't mind me asking," he says politely in an even voice. "What's your name?"

"If we're to have a lovely romance on the train, we musn't know anything about each other. Not even our names." This is what the girl likes to do. She is fickle. Not getting to know people means she won't get attached. It is different with friends. By now she hasn't had romantic feelings for them. The boy brushes his fingers against the girl's cheek gently. "Well, then, let's make it a good one." He leans in to kiss her softly, then slowly, lazily, staying close, he murmurs in her ear, "You have a very short memory, Ashley." In a shock, Ashley's eyes widen. Her lips part as the boy pulls back gripping her hands hard. Ashley struggles but the boy is surprisingly strong. Just as he shoves her out of the window, the girl sputters only one word. "Lucas." I throw my eyes open with my heart pounding in my chest. The train has stopped and the compartment is completely empty. With my head spinning I shove my book and the half drunk coffee container in my bag. I leap to my feet. Before my eyes I see Ashley's widened blue eyes. My own eyes brim with tears as a knot forms in my stomach. With a few strides I'm out of the compartment and the train. The world outside is foggy and a surreal feeling fills me. I feel like I'm in a dream. I stroll through the station glancing up at the grey sky above me. Every small voice around me makes me flinch and glance around me in alarm. I cut across a cemetary and for the first time I wish the route to school wasn't shorter that way. Fog gathers all around me and shivers climb up my spine. I'm like the main character in a horror movie, I realize. Main characters never get killed, right? I swallow the bitter bile rising in my mouth. I take a deep breathe and clutch my bag against my body. Grace. A slender, transluscent girl with chestnut coloured hair hovers in between two graves. "Ashley." A whisper escapes my lips.

A part of a chapter I wrote at some point✨ OC introductions coming at some point✨

#original story #original character #fantasy #fiction #victorianshannon #original characters #mywriting #myocs #ocs #oc #wattpad #wattpadstories #wtiterblr

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sgurrdearg · 4 years

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So things might be looking up? I emailed my favourite lecturers at the weekend and my absolute favest got back to me like.... so early this morning to tell me that YES he would be so happy to have me back in class and would support my application absolutely. Which just..... FILLS MY HEART. So now I just have to get applying and go do battle with student finance and get me some medical evidence from my GP to support my claim for more money for fees.....

#it’s not looking quite so impossible now #still a lot of work and a bit of a gamble this way so just gotta find out how sure it is #but god. im going home im going HOME #and if my mum pulls thru on the plans she mentioned before??? which historically she never Does and then paints me as the bad guy #for trusting her......#but if she did actually pull thru then id be so much more secure than before like holy shit #still gotta find paid work and im working on that #omggggggggggg i just. i can’t wait to sit in my chair again i can’t wait to be in the library again!! in the computer labs!!!!#in my favourite cafes!!!! eating ice cream by the river!!!! strolling through the cemetary on the hill in the park!!!#i can bag some more munros!!!! just watch me. i will.#aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahahahahahaaaaaaa i can go climbing agaaaaiiiiiin #god im so excited im just so excited i get to go home. i have to make new friends again but that’s ok #i can go to st andrews on the weekend and eat ice cream!!! and visit the aquarium!!! and visit the ruins!!#i can go HOME home whenever the fuck i want again?????? i can hang out with my grannie ANY TIME #i can go to Skye.......#and if mum’s plans do happen. one at least............ i can go to skye for my dissertation aaaaaaa #or like. anywhere in scotland so much easier and cheaper #aaaaa it’s happening i cant believe martin remembered me so well and so fondly :’)

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sarcastic-clapping · 6 years

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today i found out that when my brother drives he listens to a playlist of what he refers to as “distant ambient bagpipes”

#somehow this is all you need to know about my brother #sean tales #this was in my drafts and i dont know why i didnt post it #but like really being in the car with him is like strolling through a scottish cemetary where theres a funeral in the distance #i taught him to drive #how did this happen

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agentur-snapshot-photography · 3 years

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Bringing the light #lágafellskirkja #mosfellsbær #cemetary #light #lights #church #kirkja #kirkjugarður #iceland #icelandlife #tradition #traveliceland #icelandtravel #icelandtoday #island #strolling #strollingaround #kirche #landscape #icelandadvice #visiticeland #visitmosfellsbaer #visiticeland🇮🇸 #icelandphotographer #icelandphotography #icelandphoto #lifeiniceland (hier: Mosfellsbær) https://www.instagram.com/p/CIeC1mFhnar/?igshid=ytr08vq7f8gb

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midnightseonghwa · 4 years

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𝐓𝐨 𝐁𝐞 𝐨𝐫 𝐍𝐨𝐭 𝐓𝐨 𝐁𝐞 | 𝐩.𝐬𝐡

𝐖𝐨𝐧𝐝𝐞𝐫𝐥𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐇𝐚𝐥𝐥𝐨𝐰𝐞𝐞𝐧 𝐀𝐮 - 𝟐

✕𝐏𝐚𝐢𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠: Grim Reaper!Seonghwa x Living!Reader

✕𝐆𝐞𝐧𝐫𝐞: Grim Reaper, Halloween Au

✕𝐖𝐨𝐫𝐝 𝐂𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐭: 3.4k+

✕𝐏𝐥𝐨𝐭: There’s nothing after death, or so they say. However, Seonghwa knows best and he’s determined to make you find out.

Alternatively: “Married couples always promise to love each other till death, but darling, I’ll show you love exists after death as well.”

✕𝐖𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬: Mentions of death, souls, grave yards, cemetaries, harassement/bullying and the afterlife. Seonghwa is holding a scythe to reap souls. There is some religious stuff as well. The people around you are really weird. You’re a living, breathing human at the beginning but not really at the end. The reader (you) are really weird. Some kissy kissy as well

✕𝐄𝐝𝐢𝐭𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐒𝐭𝐚𝐭𝐮𝐬: Unedited

✕𝐀/𝐍: Remember that this is fiction and that I don’t actually see ateez in this way. The religious stuff has not been put in to offend anyone. It is solely for fictional purposes. Enjoy! Let me know if you want to be added to the taglist. Leave a comment under this post or message me! Also, this is inspired by OneUs’ song ‘To Be or Not To Be’. I am obsessed with their entire ‘Lived’ album...it’s a bit of a problem hehe

✕𝐓𝐚𝐠𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭: @pancakes-for-teddy

✕𝐀𝐞𝐬𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐭𝐢𝐜: Here

Seonghwa watched you trace the crude grey stone with your fingers in a sense of curiosity.

You were a young child, new to the world but there was something extremely odd about you. Seonghwa had seen you a few times already, running around the cemetery as if it was the playground, playing hide and seek with the ravens that would sometimes whisper beautifully morbid things to you.

Tracing the sharp blade of his scythe, the male sighed and lowered his black hood when a series of footsteps crunched through the dead grass of the burial grounds.

"A mere lost soul," Seonghwa said as the groundskeeper of the cemetery came to a standstill next to him.

"A bit young to be a lost," he said but Seonghwa shook his head and ran his bony fingers over the staff of his scythe.

"Young souls are often the easiest to lose. But they are also the easiest to guide," he said and gave the groundskeeper a side-eyed glance.

"Are you going to guide her?" The groundskeeper asked in a quiet voice and Seonghwa inhaled deeply before covering his face with his hood again and disappearing into the shadows.

"Only if I must."

The next place Seonghwa saw you was at the foot of your grandmother's bed a few years later, crying hysterically.

Black ink flowed down your cheeks, leaving scorching burns in their wake but to any normal human, it would look like the most heart-broken tears were being shed.

Next to Seonghwa, your grandmother pressed a hand to her heart. Although pain was not felt by deceased souls, the phantom pains of her only grandchild's cries were enough to provoke a physical feeling.

Both your grandmother and Seonghwa stayed, observing everything until it was only you left in the room.

Seonghwa approached you and wiped the inky streaks off your face with a gentle bony finger.

"Do not cry, child," he said and offered you a single black raven feather, smooth as the blade of his scythe.

"Angel," the word left your small lips as you marvelled at the man in front of you. A graceful being in front of a clumsy child like you, your brain could only muster the closest celestial being.

"No, child. But you can most definitely think of me as your guardian angel."

And with that, Seonghwa left you with an eternal promise and the mark of the grim reaper on your soul.

"So much for a guardian angel," you said as you twirled the black feather between your fingers. Now in your early adult ages, the feather had remained the only constant in your life.

Encased between thin glass sheets, the black feather gleamed under the sunlight as you leaned against one of the headstones in the cemetery.

"(Yn)? Here again?" The groundskeeper asked as he strolled by with his tools, his black cat in tow.

"Yes sir," you smiled and closed your eyes, letting your head fall onto the grey stone that was basking in the sunlight.

"I was going to wash the stones today but it seems I'll have to wait," he said and you smiled at the older man.

"Thank you, sir. You know I don't have anyone else but you."

The groundskeeper gave you a small wave before continuing on his way.

Sighing and tucking the black feather back into your pocket, you plucked at the yellow grass that always seemed to surround you wherever you went.

It was true that the groundskeeper was the only one you had. After the encounter with your "guardian angel", things had gone immensely wrong for you.

You started having nightmares and hearing voices that always called for help. The murmurs and cried pains of the damned that always seemed to haunt you on the darkest of nights. This eventually led to your family declaring you sick and moving away to a bigger city, leaving you behind.

You were harassed horribly during school which made you drop out and just stay inside your old house until midnight hit the skies. The old ladies of the town would gossip about your creepy aura and flash you with crosses and holy water while you would walk down the street.

Sometimes, just to mess with them you would hiss and try to cover yourself from the holy objects and inwardly laugh as the women scurried away to protect their children and husbands. On other days you would hide under the black hood of your jacket and ignore all the comments about being a disgrace to God and whatnot.

To say that your town was an orthodox one was an understatement.

But today was one of those rare nights where the voices didn't seem to bother you as much. The people of the town had been ignorant towards you and it was a blessing through and through. Lying in your deceased grandmother's room, you stared at the arcane carvings in her ceiling. Your grandmother always believed in the afterlife and that death was not as bad as people put it to be. It was always just a change of worlds but never a permanent one.

Your hand reached out to trace one of the gold lines in the air. You had spent your entire childhood memorising them as your grandmother would tell you stories of the world beyond but now, they seemed foreign to you, almost dead and lifeless.

"I remember seeing you here when you were only a little child," a smooth voice flittered across the cold room as you jerked awake and stood up to find the source of the voice.

"Even as a child, you were always so mysterious. I never expected you would grow up to be so beautiful," the voice sounded again and Seonghwa emerged from the shadows, bony fingers clutching his scythe.

He leaned down to your level and traced your jawline. His finger was chillingly cold and wasn't soft as skin would normally feel.

Silence blanketed the room as you shrank under his cold stare.

"Am I finally going to die?"

Admittedly, the question was stupid but voicing it lifted some weight off your chest.

"Why would you die?" Seonghwa quipped an eyebrow at you, a slow smirk making its way onto his face.

"You look like a grim reaper," you whispered and fidgeted under the tall male's gaze.

Seonghwa laughed, it was chilling in its nature and froze your bones.

"That's because I am."

Regardless of his cold stare and voice, his tone was nonchalant and careless, as if admitting to being the grim reaper wasn't the biggest thing in the world.

"Oh..." you trailed off, not quite sure how to react to that piece of information.

"What do you want with me?"

"That's..." Seonghwa sighed and leaned against his scythe with a bored expression.

"A good question," he said and furrowed his eyebrows.

"If you don't have any specific requests then please leave," you said and trudged to the bedroom door, opening it wide and letting the cold wind whistle through the room.

"Actually, I wanted to take you with me," Seonghwa said and leaned his fingers out to touch your hair. He twisted them around his fingers and smiled. It was a sweet smile, one filled with love and adoration, something you had not experienced from any human before.

But lucky for you, Seonghwa was not human.

"Take me where?" You asked and brought your hand up to curl your fingers around his wrist. His skin was strikingly pale against yours and while Seonghwa could feel the low thrum of your pulse, you couldn't feel a thing.

"To the spirit world of course," he said and booped your nose lightly in a childish manner.

For a grim reaper, he sure was soft with his movements.

"What if I don't want to go," you whispered and dropped your hand from around his wrist. Seonghwa's unbeating heart dropped a little at the lack of physical contact as he too uncurled your hair from around his fingers and then caressed your head gently.

"I suppose that's fair," he said but one look at your face and he knew you were just being cautious of stranger danger.

"Listen," he started and leaned down, dangerously close to your lips.

"Wha-what are you doing?" You asked and leaned your face away from his.

"Just let me show you," he said and leaned closer to you.

Hesitantly, you met his face halfway and pressed your lips to his.

If only your family could see you now, they would bury you ten feet underground.

His bony fingers let go of his scythe which vanished into thin air as he pulled your waist closer to his.

His lips were cold and yours felt numb to his touch. It was an insensitive feeling but as Seonghwa exhaled into your mouth, you felt a wisp of odd smoke travel past your lips.

It looked like unfurling ink in water as the wisps passed from his mouth to yours.

Stilling in his arms, your vision blurred and Seonghwa's face pixelated before it dissolved into the same black wisps of smoke and you found yourself as a child sitting in the living room with your family.

"I'm afraid (Y/n)'s brain is not developing properly," A voice rang in your ears as you watched little you play with blocks and your parents conversing with a man in a white coat.

"Oh, nonsense. (Y/n) is doing just fine," your grandmother butt in and ushered the man outside, your parents giving her a glare.

A smile made its way onto your lips as you watched the scene in front of you. Your grandmother always did have her way with you in the best ways possible.

"Mother, you don't understand. (Y/n)'s not normal," you heard your father coax but your grandmother just shushed him and handed you a cookie, which you gladly accepted before going back to play with your blocks.

You reached your hands out to touch your grandmother's delicate face but your vision distorted again and merged into you sitting at the cemetery while you were younger.

From the corner of your eyes, you saw a figure talking to the groundskeeper while looking at you. The figure was clad in a long black cloak and you only caught a glimpse of his glimmering scythe before he disappeared into the shadows.

The ink once again unfurled and revealed to you getting harassed in school. The girls pulling your hair as you walked past them in the corridor while calling you names and the boys tearing your books apart and beating you up in the school's basement.

You cried watching everything unwind. These were the memories you had kept suppressed for so long but seeing them again had just opened up unnecessary scars in your heart.

"(Y/n)," a bony hand reached out for you and brought you back to reality as Seonghwa's fingers wiped at the tears that were streaming down your face.

"Wh-wha-what was that?" You asked and touched your face, fingers pulling away to reveal obsidian ink staining your fingers.

"Why...what...why are my tears black?"

"What have you done?" You demanded with a bite in your voice this time.

Seonghwa sighed and brushed your hair out of your brush before wrapping you in a blanket.

"I simply showed you everything you've been through in the mortal world."

His words rang in your ear with high pitched noise, like a shrill cacophonic note being hit on the violin again and again.

"(Y/n)," Seonghwa said and leaned down to your level again.

"It doesn't have to be like this. How can you keep living in this pain?"

"Who said I've been living in pain?" You retorted and pushed your pointer finger into his chest that was covered with black robes.

"My darling, I've been observing you for so long and the pain you feel could bring some of the most tortured souls to their knees."

You gulped, the air not quite flowing down your throat properly. Your body felt constricted as if it was trapped in the physical peel you call your body.

"Let me show you," Seonghwa whispered and snapped his fingers.

The air around you changed and it was no longer cold. it was no longer filled with hate and bitterness but instead, there was a warmth. A warmth that seeped into your bones almost as if it was a mother's hug. Your mother had never hugged you like this, it brought tears into your eyes. As if it had encased you in its warm arms, refusing to let go.

Your core, the very centre of your being felt whole again and every little touch was like a loving caress instead of sharp recoil.

But the moment was a fleeting one. Gone almost as soon as you had touched it, crumbled to dust right in front of your very eyes.

"What was that?" Your voice was soft and deep down, your held hope. You wanted that feeling to be your home forever. Somewhere you could finally be everything you've ever wanted to be. If Seonghwa was the key to that, you were willing to take that chance.

"Just a mere glimpse of what your life could be with me. Imagine everything I could give you, how free would you be," he said and you found yourself wondering exactly that.

What could Seonghwa give you, what could he offer and how free would you feel?

Freer that anything you ever felt on Earth, that was for sure.

"What do you say, my darling?" Seonghwa had his bony hand stretched towards your face. He gently caressed your cheek with one finger and you realised how menial everything was in compared to this. It was yours for the taking, everything he could ever offer was written in the hand of his ivory white hand and all you have to do was feed from it.

"Is it better to be alive or not to be? The question is yours," he said and you watched as the scythe was back in his hand.

"Where are you going?" You said and stood up from where you were previously sitting.

"Well, my darling, there's only one grim reaper and millions of souls to guide," he said and approached you closely.

"When you need me, call me by my name and I'll be there, always in the shadows but I'll be there."

"What am I supposed to call? Reaper?" You scoffed and turned away from him. How could you give someone the disease only to give them the cure as well?

"Call me Seonghwa," he said and disappeared with a cold whistle, as sharp as the blade he always carried.

Your every day after that was filled with constant itching to escape. The voices never left you alone and would only get amplified in Seonghwa's absence.

On the rare nights he did visit you, you would sit around the tombstones in the cemetery. He would tell you stories of all the souls he has guided into the spirit world and sometimes, the names he would tell you about would be in the very cemetery you two would spend time in.

The ravens would always squawk at your presence but you knew exactly how much they appreciated your company during the deadly hour.

You had come to know Seonghwa a great deal. His entire being was now an open book to you and every detail was like a word etched onto his pale skin that was the page. He would often shower you with ghostly kisses and you always found yourself wanting more.

"Just concentrate," his voice sounded behind you as you closed your eyes and narrowed all your energy onto the spirits he was talking about.

"You're special. Made for this, made for me. You can do it," he said and coaxed you further with a loving nudge.

"Seonghwa...I can't-" and the words got stuck in your throat as a wisp stroked your side and curled around your wrist.

"What...Seonghwa...what?" You stuttered and looked helplessly at the reaper.

"Just relax," he said cooly and you snorted at his comment.

"Yeah...relax," you said and shook your arm, trying to get the wisp off you.

"It's a soul, (Y/n). A lost one, just like yours," he said and stretched his hand, attracting the wisp towards it. You watched stoically as the white smoke uncurled and floated towards Seonghwa who sent it towards the sky in a hushed whisper.

"It's gone," he said and you nodded before sinking to the yellow grass under you.

"Seonghwa-" you started but when you looked up, he was gone with only the moon glimmering as bright as his blade looking down at you.

It was a horrible feeling to admit that you had gotten shamefully attached to Seonghwa. You found yourself thinking about him even when you were lying in bed, begging for sleep to take you without any nightmares.

Sitting up in your bed, the covers bunched around your midriff, you silently called his name.

"Seonghwa."

It was an almost non-existent whisper. Something that couldn't even be heard to your own ears but you had felt your lips move which was why you were sure of the letters tumbling from your lips.

"My darling, you finally learned how to use my name," his voice sounded and you jumped in your skin at the amount of soft malice in his voice. You wanted to bask in it.

"I want it," you voiced and he lowered his hood while quipping his eyebrow at you.

"What do you want?"

You inhaled deeply and leaned into Seonghwa.

"I want to be with you?"

Seonghwa laughed a musical laugh that was still cold in nature, the icicles pressing into your body.

"You've chosen not to be," he said and nodded moving even closer to you, almost pressing your body into his.

"Not to be what?" You asked and Seonghwa smirked the most deadly smirk you had ever seen adorn his sharp features.

"Not to be alive."

His final words made him press his lips to yours. This time, it was a liberating feeling as the black wisps climbed your body, tangling around your limbs and then finally your throat.

It was strangling all the life out of you but as Seonghwa petted and soothe your hair, you felt yourself feeling a tad bit better.

You lost yourself with one last word hanging from your lips, "Seonghwa."

The air was colder when you awoke. Two feet on the ground but they weren't yours.

Gasping, you stumbled backwards as you saw your dead body lying limp on the floor.

"They'll call it a miracle," Seonghwa said and kissed your hand that had turned a pale white to resemble his. There was no pulse this time and the place that held your beating heart was glaringly silent.

"How did you...what did you-" Seonghwa stopped you with a careless wave of his scythe.

"You don't have to know," he said as you both made your way to the cemetery.

"(Y/n)," the groundskeeper said and gave you a slight mocking bow.

"It's great to see you," he said and you laughed a hearty laugh, one that liberated your entire soul.

"I'm going to miss you, sir," you said but the groundskeeper shook his head with a slight chuckle.

"Nonsense, child. As long as you're with the reaper, you'll always see me."

Seonghwa grabbed your hand and led you into the shade.

"Are you ready?" He asked and you nodded enthusiastically.

Sharing one last kiss, you stepped into the shadows, disappearing forever.

"They got my birthday wrong," you complained to Seonghwa who just laughed and traced the headstone with his hand.

"Do you really care?" He asked and you whined a little before laughing.

"Not really...but they make me look older than I actually am!"

"It's alright, my darling. They never cared anyways."

And that was something you could agree on. They never did care. All they did was bury you ten feet under the ground and mutter false prayers of love before dispersing back to their lives that didn't contain a sick, now dead child.

When you were in high school, you had read Shakespeare's play, Hamlet. It was there you had learned the phrase 'To be or not to be, that is the question'.

It truly was the question, your question. But your grandmother always told you, death was never permanent, only a change of worlds so your answer to the question would always be ‘not to be’.

Not to be alive but to be by Seonghwa's side.

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