If I had this kind of power at the height of my rage with fibromyalgia, people and professionals seeing me as less than because of it, and considering going for virology as a degree, I would've been absolutely teriffying and a fucking menace.

I'm grateful I got nerfed in math.

AND I KNEW YOU'D COME BACK TO ME. YOU'D COME BACK TO ME. YOU'D COME BACK TO ME. AND YOU'D COME BACK.....

I am actually so excited for all of my upcoming fics, i think they're really interesting and i'm excited to explore all the themes within them

So I have a house inspection today (since I rent) and uhhh im just anxious because they're suppose to come sometime between 8am to 5pm and it's so open that idk what to do with my time. Like I guess doom scrolling it is??

last night was the first night in about week where I had absolutely peace so I hope it continues 💗🫶

cardigan really is one of the most songs of all time ever huh.

Let me…  wake up more   &   get coffee so I can stop being lazy   &   start rambling about HCS for Bal cause honestly? 

as I feel out things with dre.amlight valley inserting, I'm getting hit with concepts of a k.h crossover. (and that wouldn't include the k.h insert stuff for that bc mixing that lore with this is too messy for me tbh.) such as characters like xem.nas. and that works especially bc I don't need to have complicated reasons for why he's alive in this, bc in dre.amlight the characters aren't the original versions of themselves, are instead a dream, a memory and personal impression of the original, y'know?

i don't know what the internet's current opinion on sally rooney is but the way she's able to make me squirm like a teenage girl again is Unmatched

5 Happy Things

Wed, April 19, 2023

1. That way that some people light up and smile when they see someone or something they like a lot even when they were all serious before

2. That serious and unsmiling face people have when they’re concentrated, whether it’s blank or their eyebrows are a bit furrowed and they squint a lil or some other type of that expression

3. People!!! Who use!!! Lots of exclamation marks!!! Because they’re EXCITED!!!!!!!

4. When people talk a lot and their voice goes a lil hoarse but instead of not-talking they drink a lil water and keep going

5. I shared some sweets with my sisters and I think that’s the whole world, there, in the sharing of something that brings you and other people joy

it's so important for me, as a zukkagirl, to lie

I honestly envy people who are not scared of death. I feel like I’m on the verge of having a panic attack as soon as I start thinking about it deeply, which I do often. It just freaks me out that I’ll never know what it entails until it happens.

show clary and jace and cardigan supremacy

Okay, second question for the Band AU! I don't know if idols work the same way as mainstream music, where there's a lot of crossover between singers and television/movies, but how would the guys and your lovely girls deal with being scouted for the big screen? Who would want to give acting a try, who wouldn't? And what would the couples do if they found themselves cast as each other's onscreen lover (Because ofc that adds fuel to the fire for gossip).

I know that there’s a lot of kpop idols who go into acting, but not too sure about jpop idols. And im not 100% sure about this, but I remember reading that theres this stigma amongst actors about idols going into acting; that they hate when idols pursue acting cause the idols booked the role due to their popularity and not cause of any acting talent lol

i’m so sorry cause i ended up going on a different tangent with this ask and focus on dewa/miyako, so i hope you don’t mind!

Out of the girls, Miyako is the only one to pursue acting. Despite not being the most popular member, she is still well known for her beauty, which fits the quintessential Japanese beauty standards: petite frame, pale skin, long dark hair, long eyelashes, and high-bridged nose. It wasn’t that hard for her to land the lead role in a romcom, starring against a male pop idol who also recently joined the acting scene (okay idk why but akiyama came straight to my mind lol). The casting alone for this movie makes a lot of noise, as the main leads look extremely elegant and gives off major royalty vibes, which gains the attention of the general public. A lot of interviews and press tours get more people to fall in love with the chemistry between miyako and akiyama (which takes more effort from miyako’s end since akiyama can be pretty stiff). But unlike her idol career, she has more difficulty fitting in at first due to the stigma some of her costars have against her for being an idol.

Idk why, but i don’t really see any of the guys pursuing acting tbh. At most, i can see chitose landing some role in some adult comedy that doesn’t perform that well, which has him running back to the group and not want anything to do with acting ever again. The other guys probably got second hand embarrassment and don’t want to go through what chitose had to. When they first heard about miyako landing a role in a new movie, they couldn’t help but feel pity cause the poor girl might have to go through the same idol curse that chitose went through. but when they see the massive media coverage and support she’s getting, some of them can’t help but feel envious. here comes this girl group who’s catching up to their fame and popularity despite not being around for that long and definitely not working as hard as them, and now each members are getting their own individual gigs as solo acts?? while miyako may be the only one to pursue acting out of her group, she’s certainly not the only one who’s making a name for herself outside of the group. and the guys can’t help but feel jealous about that. as much as they love their group, at the end of the day, they’re different guys with different interests. it’d be nice to be known more outside of their fanbase, without having to be lumped in with 5 other guys. its funny how the girls, despite having a lot of restrictions put on to them by their company, still have the freedom to pursue things outside of the their group and make a name for themselves. whereas the guys have all the artistic freedom a musician can ask for, but seem to lack an identity of their own.

Dewa is annoyed. Its bad enough that he sees miyako’s face plastered all over japan with the rest of her dimwitted group. Now seeing her face being plastered all over the country with that guy with toothpick from s4? She likes that type of guy? The type with a stick up his ass? (talk about the pot calling the kettle black). But theres something off this time. With how strict her company is, he’s not used to seeing her having full blown conversations with other male celebrities, so imagine his surprise when he catches interviews where she keeps laughing at every little thing akiyama says, resting a manicured hand on his shoulder. or how she would bat her eyelashes at him while asking him a question, and how she would look intrigued as she hangs onto every word that comes out of his mouth. nothing about their interaction seems right to dewa, and in a way he’s relieved that is all an act to promote their new movie (at least thats what he tells himself and chitose when the latter tries to taunt him). But seeing miyako gain more success and fame as an actress, make more friends/connections within the industry, and create an identity for herself outside of her group is bothering dewa a lot more than it should be. in a way, it feels like she’s constantly rising and leaving him behind. and if acting doesn’t work out for her? no problem, she can always fall back onto her idol persona. and if performing is no longer fun? perfect, she can go back and take over her family’s business like she was supposed to. but what about him? if the group decides to split and go their own way, what will happen to dewa masaomi?

idk man. i should be humble and whatnot but i have to defend myself

rip rose tyler you would’ve loved cardigan from folklore