Official Potato Supervisor
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Helena and Caleb have been busy burying the hatchet and starring in their new hit sitcom. Currently accepting theme song submissions!
Clue card designed by @surely-sims! I thought it would be a cute detail to add. 🥰
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Caleb: Miss Scarlett with the dagger in the lounge.
Helena: Are you sure you’re not just describing your sister on a bad day?
Caleb: Oh, you mean every day?
Helena: Speak of the devil and she shall appear.
[canned audience laughter]
Helena: Regrettably, Miss Scarlett is out of contention. My turn!
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Helena: Caleb, look! Poor little thing. Where did you come from?
Caleb: More importantly, how is it still alive? Animals don’t have a tendency to thrive around here, wild or domesticated.
Helena: She’s a girl! We should keep her!
Caleb: Lilith would hate it. She might even…
Helena: Lilith will not touch a hair on her body! [in baby voice] I’m going to name you Drusilla.
Caleb: Hold on. Is that a Buffy the Vampire Slayer reference?
Helena: Oh, well, I went down this research rabbit hole after… you know. It may have included a Simflix binge. Is it forbidden media now?
Caleb: Of course not! [sheepish but excited] I actually have the full series box set upstairs. Should we…
Helena: HELL YEAH, WE SHOULD!
Helena: Drusilla, come back! Don’t you want to meet your namesake?
Lilith: Disgusting little goblin. What particularly loathsome circle of hell did you claw your way out of?
[canned audience laughter]
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thinking about you teasing joshua all morning and once he gets his hands on you, he loses it. he wants to tease you, he does, but he wants to make you cum more. you buck into and away from his fingers, two deep inside and a third working its way in, but he’s got you sprawled over his lap so he can keep your knees spread apart with his own. he wants you to take it, take it like he did all morning.
and he knows you will, you always do, always take whatever he gives you like a champ.
and after he’s made you cum twice on his fingers and once on his cock, he sees how late he is and puts himself back together before heading out for the work lunch he’s got scheduled.
it’s only when he brings the glass of wine to his lips for the first sip that he smells it. smells you. your wetness, dried on his fingers where he hadn’t had time to wash it off.
he’s torn between excusing himself to wash his hands and sneaking a taste every time his colleague looks away.
he settles on sucking his fingers clean in the bathroom before washing the rest of you off with warm water and soap. he mourns the loss, but knows he can get more at the source just about anytime he wants.
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au where drarry are neighbors and harry grows all sorts of things for potions, cooking, regular plants/flowers that he thinks are pretty. draco asks for ingredients, showing up at his door looking both haughty and shy, pretending he's not looking at harry but he IS, and always notices the smudged, forgotten dirt behind harry's ear that he kinda wants to clean off...
they behave like polite neighbors; it's a transactional business relationship. draco buys ingredients from harry, and every 2 weeks harry buys a calming draught potion from him.
"helps me at night, you know", he explains after the 3rd time. draco then brews heightened ones just for harry, and tosses a few other potions his way (for a hefty neighborly discount ofc). harry invites draco over more, cooking meals made from his garden and packing leftovers. he even leaves flowers at draco's doorstep.
their relationship develops so naturally - draco is at harry's most of the time, only going home to brew or sleep. they'll eat, play chess, talk quidditch. draco sleeps over sometimes, accidentally, but it's so... domestic to be cohabiting.
draco realizes he's in love while watching harry doze off during a movie, bc wow, he feels safe around draco to do that. harry realizes he's in love when draco rushed over to take care of him when he fell off a ladder, tending to his cuts and bruises with gentle care. their first kiss is explosive, not quite biting with urgency; it's slow and tender that leaves them tingling with warmth, their hearts bursting with fullness.
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We have just moved from an Objectively Small house to an Objectively Large house (like, 'has a formal living room and a regular living room' large) and while I do feel a lot of sympathy for my cat whose life has been upended with no explanation she can understand, the way she has taken to piteously meowling every hour or so when she realises she has LOST TRACK OF HER HUMANS YET AGAIN is, actually, pretty funny
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If I were to post an art of a guy with a baby bump would y'all be normal about it I'm ascared but it turned out really cute :(....
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My roommate has two calico cats and another roommate old me she told me she can tell them apart bc Frank, the Bastard, “has a penis on his forehead” (the white marking) and the other calico doesn’t have white markings on her face
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