#cal x mc | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

fourraccoonsinacoat · 3 months

Text

Faint of Heart | One Shot

Pairing: Astarion x The Dark Urge

Chapter Count: One Shot | Read on AO3

Word Count: 7,816

Summary: Takes place during the events of Baldur's Gate 3 during Act 2. Explores the romance between Astarion and the Dark Urge as Astarion struggles with a confession. Tags: Hurt/Comfort, Angst, Fluff, Humor, Idiots in Love, Confession of Feelings, Mentions of Violence, Soft Astarion, Spoilers for the Dark Urge and BG3 in general, Dark Urge as Original Female Character Rating: Mature

Author's Note: Back on my bullshit with these two. This is a one-shot based on the same Durge MC, Eli, as my other fics. I took some liberties with Astarion's confession scene, taking into account the background of the Dark Urge. It's all somewhat self-indulgent, and I wanted an excuse to write sassy Jaheira and practice writing from Astarion's POV. It's angsty, it's fluffy, it's soft and Karlach is the greatest wingman of them all! Thank you for reading my nonsense.

She stood, looking to everyone else in the Inn like a conquering hero ready to head out once more and face the darkness. She smiled with Rolan, laughed with Cal, chatted with Lia, and no one was the wiser.

Except him.

In their time together, Astarion had picked up on some of Eli’s tells. Behaviors that slipped past her mask of composure and enthusiasm, exposing the truth beneath her carefully constructed veneer.

She was exhausted. He could see it in the slight sag of her shoulders, in the way she kept having to blink and refocus on whoever she was conversing with, in her tired yet reassuring smile…the one she always had at the ready for anyone who came to her with yet another ordeal to hang around her shoulders.

A sudden and fierce burn of irrational anger flared in his chest as he continued to watch people flit around her. It brought to his mind an image of bees sucking the nectar dry from a gorgeous wildflower. They would use her until there was nothing left because that was their nature. They were desperate, all of them. The tieflings, Jaheira, Barcus, Counsellor Florrick…they were all starving for a savior, and Eli was that succor. They’d use her up until nothing was left. They’d watch her kill herself in the name of their ambitions, then hail her as a hero rather than the kind fool she was, always taking on other people’s burdens in some mad, desperate attempt to redeem whatever darkness lay coiled in her past.

Nevermind the fact that Eli’s kindness was exactly what he’d set out to manipulate from the start.

He was just as bad as the rest of them, looking to use Eli for her protection and capabilities. He was just as guilty. He’d seen her compassion as weakness and immediately dug his claws in, hooking into her like a parasite. Seducing her into his bed, stoking affection and twisting feelings – both hers and his – until he couldn’t tell truth from fiction.

And that was the problem.

Somewhere along the way, more and more truth began to slip into the words he used to charm her. He wasn’t sure when it started, but sometime between their passionate nights and hard fought days, genuine feelings began to stir every time he thought of her.

And, gods, he’d hated it.

On that first day after the nautiloid, when he’d discovered he could walk in sunlight and was out of reach of Cazador, he’d swore to never allow anyone control over him again. He’d rather drive a stake through his own heart than be a puppet tethered to someone else’s strings. And yet…here he was, allowing the very first person he’d met after making that oath to have sway over him. And he was utterly terrified he wouldn’t be able to do anything about it.

And so he sat at a far table in the bustling lounge of Last Light Inn, watching Eli and growing more and more perturbed as people buzzed around her.

Couldn’t they see how tired she was? She’d done enough for them today, breaking Wulbren and his compatriots out of Moonrise alongside the tieflings…well, those tieflings who’d survived the assault in the Shadowlands. Eli had been battered, bloodied and in desperate need of a healer, and yet the moment they’d come upon the prison, nothing else had mattered except freeing those being held captive.

She hadn’t said as much, but Astarion knew her well enough by now to recognize the shadow of devastation that drifted across her expression when Dammon described the attack that had scattered the refugees while on the road. She’d grown close to many of them, back at the Grove, often allowing conversations to drag on far past their welcome as some poor sod carried on about their insignificant struggles. It had frustrated Astarion to no end. They didn’t need to hear all about Bex’s absurd dream of owning a little orange cat with a bell on its neck! That knowledge did nothing to aid the process of driving steel through goblin guts.

It had all come to a head when she’d given Mol gold in exchange for absolutely nothing, spouting off some bullshit about wanting to back the next great thieves guild of Baldur’s Gate. Astarion had pulled Eli aside then, hissing about futile charity and asking her if she intended to bankroll every guttersnipe with a sob story.

She hadn’t missed a beat with her retort.

“Don’t worry, you’re still my favorite of all the guttersnipes I’ve come across. Thank the gods you only ask for blood and not gold. Otherwise, we’d be deadass broke.”

She’d leveled a stare at him that spoke volumes. He’d rolled his eyes and tried to hide the smirk threatening at the corners of his lips. Of course he was her favorite.

Still, it was mind-numbingly infuriating, how far Eli would go to help someone she cared for. What was worse was that Astarion knew, beyond any shadow of a doubt, that she’d do the same for him. That she’d throw herself thoughtlessly into pain, torment and suffering for his sake. At one point, he could not have cared less whether she destroyed herself for his gain.

But those days were gone, and he was now forced to reckon with the fact that he’d grown attached…that he cared. That he’d slit the throat of anyone in this room who tried to take advantage of her. That he’d once been the person trying to take advantage...

The thought now stirred something uneasy and almost nauseous within his stomach. He hated thinking about how he’d treated her, and yet it seemed to be something he was incapable of forgetting. Whatever was between them now, it was founded on something rotten. It had grown out of a lie, and regardless of how he felt now, a part of him knew that in order for anything to continue he would need to confess the vile intentions that had started all of this.

He owed her that, and she deserved it. She’d likely hate him, and all of this would come crashing to a disastrous end…but she deserved the truth, Astarion’s feelings be damned. She deserved to be with someone who would treat her with the same honesty and respect that she showed to everyone else. She deserved to be with someone who would protect her, not lie and manipulate her. She had so many burdens of her own, and yet she kept piling the burdens of others atop them. She deserved someone who would help steady her, not someone who would only get in her way and cause her to stumble.

She was going to hate him. He knew it as surely as he knew the sun would not cut through the gloom over the Shadowlands tomorrow morning. But he couldn’t keep living this farce. He couldn’t keep bedding her and enduring all those feelings of guilt and self-hatred as they mixed with the longing and ecstasy of bringing her to the brink and watching her come undone. It was too overwhelming. He wanted to be with her honestly and openly and not have their time together tainted by his wretched memories.

He wanted something real with her, built on the foundation of what he felt now rather than the putrid intentions that had started all of this.

It wouldn’t happen, he knew. Astarion wouldn’t want himself, either, all things considered. And that was okay. She deserved the opportunity to hate him for how he’d treated her. Gods knew he hated himself for it, it was only fair she hate him, too.

The fact that she didn’t already was astounding. He was a wretched thing, ugly in all ways except for appearance and so useless that he had to manipulate others into fighting his battles. He had ruined so many lives over the past two centuries. He’d been used up until there was nothing left of him to offer. And yet she was always near, never shying away and never overbearing…just always there, always at his back. She didn’t flinch away from him, didn’t pity him, and she made him feel things he’d forgotten how to feel.

The first night they’d spent together had been unexpectedly enthralling and pleasurable, something he had not experienced in he didn’t know how long. And he’d wanted more, despite his confusion and the messiness of his feelings, he wanted more of that connection. And so they’d spent more nights finding comfort and pleasure in each other. Those nights were little moments of solace in a world gone mad.

Those nights had been about more than sex; they were nights where she told him beautiful words that weren’t made for people like him.

“Seldom do I find so little fault with someone. I hope it lasts.” A cool voice caught Astarion by surprise as he sat lost in his darkening thoughts.

His head snapped around, hand instinctively twitching towards a hidden blade at his hip.

Jaheira stood beside him, arms crossed and face unreadable and she pinned him in her stare. Her eyes flitted momentarily to the hand at his waist, and Astarion brought it back to rest on the table he sat at, dagger still fastened to his belt.

The ghost of a self-satisfied smirk flashed across her face as Jaheira glanced away from him and back towards the subject of her comment. He followed her gaze towards Eli and hummed thoughtfully, settling into a more relaxed posture that he hoped did not betray the swirling mess that currently haunted his mind.

“You should tell her as much,” he mused, watching Eli as she pushed a strand of her silver-white hair behind an ear.

The sight caused his mind to pull a memory forth, unbidden. It was tactile and soft, the feel of his fingers tangling in that hair…of his lips caressing the shell of her ear as he whispered ravishing praise for only her to hear.

He took a grounding breath and dashed those thoughts from his mind.

“She thrives on pretty words and compliments,” he quipped.

Astarion wouldn’t elaborate that the reason for it was because Eli had a desperate desire to escape whatever monster dogged her broken memories. She thought of herself as something tainted and corrupt. Something unworthy. He’d got a glimpse of that darkness on the night she’d woken him, panicked and breathlessly ranting about how she feared she would harm him.

At first, he’d thought she was still in the throes of one of her many night terrors, perhaps sleepwalking. The truth had been far more grim, and Astarion was still haunted by images from that night. Images of Eli struggling against the bindings Astarion had put her in, for the protection of them both. Eyes feral as her nails dug into the flesh of her palms, mouth snarling as she spat all manner of vile insults at him. She had lost herself to whatever thing she was keeping at bay inside herself, and Astarion had come to realize that the fear which hounded Eli on both sleepless nights and in nightmares was well founded.

That fear had spread to him, too. Fear of losing her, of watching her be overtaken by this madness. He understood the depravity he saw in her eyes, the mania that was a loss of self when hunger took hold and choked all other sensibility from your mind. He hadn’t felt empathy for another soul in nearly two hundred years, and suddenly there it was, raw and wounding and utterly terrifying. His thoughts screamed back to that year of starvation and darkness, locked in a tomb as he slowly went mad with hunger. Those recollections were an undertow, threatening to pull him down and drown him.

But she’d needed him, and so he’d wrenched himself free of his clawing subconscious and watched over her until morning when she returned to herself. A lot of things changed that night. They’d been changing already, but the lies he’d been telling himself about how he felt simply could not survive the blistering reality of the situation at hand.

There was still some life left in his cold dead heart, and he had no idea how to reconcile with that knowledge.

The sound of Jaheira clearing her throat brought him out of his brooding and he turned his head to find the druid eyeing him curiously, a hand outstretched towards him. A key was held between her fingers and Astarion glanced at it before meeting her gaze, perplexed. Jaheira sighed and took a seat opposite to Astarion at the table, setting the key down on the worn wooden surface of the hightop and pushing it over to him.

“Seems Karlach was speaking truth when she said the two of you were a pair of emotionally-stunted lovesick fools,” Jaheira said, leaning back in her chair and pointing from Eli to Astarion. “You completely tuned me out, staring at her like a wolfhound salivating over a piece of raw steak.”

Astarion tensed at the remark, frowning before he slipped back into his casual and roguish demeanor.

“Yes, yes, make your jokes about the monstrous vampire. How dare he pursue the charming and morally upstanding hero.” Astarion snorted, eyeing Eli ruefully. “I’ve heard it before. Wyll likes to especially harp on the subject.”

He made a mental note to tell Karlach not to be such a gossip.

Jaheira huffed, a noise that could possibly be construed as a laugh, except Astarion wasn’t sure he could picture the stern woman laughing.

“Please,” she said, almost dismissively. “I am not familiar enough with your little band of hedonists to form an opinion on your social dramas. And even if I were, I doubt I’d care.”

The druid turned her head to gaze back towards the bar.

Bex and Danis had joined the group situated around Eli, and Astarion noted that another bottle of wine had recently been opened. Eli was turning down offers to refill her glass and Astarion felt a sudden urge to grab her and whisk her away to the quiet sanctuary of his tent back at camp. And not even to do anything sexual, though if that’s where the night took them, he’d happily oblige.

He just wanted to give her a space of reprieve, somewhere she could rest and escape all this chaos.

“What I do care about,” Jaheira continued, drawing Astarion’s attention back to her. “Is that one’s wellbeing.” She tilted her chin towards Eli. “She is our way into the cult. Our way to get close to Ketheric. She is our key to putting an end to this blight of the Absolute.”

Astarion didn’t reply. He wasn’t sure he trusted himself to open his mouth in that moment. Jaheira was loading more burdens onto Eli’s shoulders, and his desire to hide her away – to protect her – was only growing.

He knew the druid spoke truth. Eli had a connection to all of this that none of them, including her, understood. What they did know was that Ketheric Thorm recognized her when they showed up at Moonrise. He’d addressed her as a comrade, and it deeply unsettled her. What secrets were lying locked away behind Eli’s fractured psyche? A part of him honestly didn’t care…he just wanted her safe…

“So,” Jaheira said after the silence between them lingered for a moment. She tapped the key still lying on the tabletop in front of Astarion. “That is a key to a room upstairs. As well-meaning as the rabble down here is, what Eli needs is rest. The days and weeks ahead will not be easy, and opportunities for respite will be few. Make her take this one.��

Astarion opened his mouth, intending to ask why the hell Jaheira didn’t just go over there and say these things to Eli. But she was well ahead of him and held her hand up in a motion to silence him.

“I have no sway over her. I will only come off as overbearing and fussy, even if I do speak truth.” Her tone took on a hint of amusement, that of an elder and learned lioness affectionately chiding a cub. “I have been informed by Karlach that the two of you are together, yes?”

Astarion stiffened, his mind swirling around all the complications involved with his and Eli’s relationship. Guilt rose up in his throat and he swallowed it down uneasily as Jaheira eyed him curiously. She bullied past the question, not waiting for his affirmation.

“Take Eli upstairs and away from all of this,” Jaheira said, rising from her chair in a motion to leave, her piece said.

She then paused, considering something, before turning back to Astarion.

“It is not my place to say this, but I will, anyway. You seem conflicted about something concerning her. And I don’t want details,” she added hastily, noting Astarion’s discomfort at being called out. “However, I know all too painfully the grief of leaving things unsaid. This life you currently lead, it is one lived day-to-day, and those days will run out. Sometimes, much sooner than expected. Don’t wait until you have nothing left but regret.”

Once again not waiting for a response, Jaheira turned and made her way towards a group of Harpers who were chatting near the Inn’s central firepit. Astarion was left alone with the echo of her words and the key she had provided.

Something squirmed uncomfortably in Astarion’s chest as he rolled what she said over and over in his mind.

Shit.

Shit. Shit. Shit!

She was right, of course. He needed to talk to Eli about them. About whatever this was. About how he’d manipulated her.

Used her.

Astarion groaned softly and ran a hand through his hair absentmindedly - a nervous habit.

Enough! Enough thinking, you wretched pathetic cowardly moron!

Rising from his chair, Astarion grabbed the key and made his way towards the bar, stepping up behind Eli who was currently providing Rolan with a play-by-play of their Moonrise prison break. Gently, he wrapped an arm around her waist and brought his other hand up to rest on her shoulder, pressing a light kiss to the side of her neck as he did so.

Astarion felt Eli’s pulse quicken beneath his lips and smiled as she leaned back into him. He felt a smug sense of satisfaction as he caught Rolan frowning at him, indignant as Eli’s attention shifted away from him and to the vampire.

“Hello, my dear,” he whispered softly into her ear, ignoring the tiefling wizard who looked as if he wanted to set Astarion on fire. “I’m sorry to interrupt you and your adoring fans, but I have some adoring of my own that I need you for.”

It was so easy for Astarion to slip back into his charmingly seductive mannerisms, so much so that he felt a pang of guilt twist in his stomach.

Truth be told, Astarion wasn’t exactly sure how to approach the type of conversation he wanted to have. He’d never done this before, asking to talk about a relationship, so he was winging it and using what tactics he knew to get her away from the crowd and to a more private location.

Eli turned her head to meet his gaze and grinned, placing a hand on the one Astarion had at her waist and intertwining her fingers with his.

“Really, now?” she said playfully. “And what does this adoring entail? Because if a hot bath and a massage are not included, I’m not going.”

Eli’s eyes shined with mischief as her expression settled into a teasing smirk. She kissed him lightly near the underside of his jaw – a reassuring gesture. Eli would go with him, regardless, but she always did enjoy a bit of banter.

“Arrangements can be made,” Astarion quipped as he turned her in his arms and began leading her towards the staircase to the upper floor.

Apprehension was beginning to roil in his gut, but he forced the alluring façade to stay in place.

Eli allowed him to direct her towards the stairs, tossing a wave to Rolan and calling over her shoulder.

“Sorry, Rolan! We’ll chat more later, as I’m currently being commandeered.”

Astarion couldn’t help the smug expression that crossed his face when he heard the tiefling’s miffed response.

“Mmhm, you seem like a very unwilling captive,” Rolan grunted.

Eli laughed.

“What can I say? I’ve got a weakness for pretty words, great sex and a man I don’t have to share snacks with,” she said.

Astarion tried to hold back the surprised bark of a laugh that bubbled up from his throat and failed miserably. He felt eyes on them, some scandalized and others amused - and heard Rolan’s agitated groan - as he led Eli up the stairs.

They reached the second-floor landing and he pressed a hand to the small of Eli’s back, guiding her towards the room.

“Where are we going, anyway?” she asked, trying to stifle a yawn as she spoke.

Safe from the greedy, peering eyes of the mob below, the shift in Eli’s demeanor was almost instinctual. She sagged a bit, weary and leaning into his touch. Hey eyelids fluttered closed for a moment and she drew in a deep, steadying breath.

She truly was exhausted and Astarion began to second guess himself. Maybe this wasn’t a good time to broach such a sensitive topic. She needed rest, not more burdens. Was he being selfish? Trying to offload his guilt just so he could feel better?

But the way she pressed into him, slightly leaning on him in her fatigue and suddenly so disarmed and at ease the moment they were away from the crowd…it caused a gnawing self-hatred to burn deep in his bones.

She trusted him. She felt safe with him. She shouldn’t…he didn’t deserve her affection.

“Jaheira, like the meddlesome elder she is, secured us a room away from all the nagging unwashed masses so you can finally get some peace and quiet,” Astarion said, stopping in front of a door which had the same designation as the key he had been given.

“Astarion, we are the unwashed masses,” Eli chuckled, glancing down at the battered scale mail she wore which was currently spattered with grime, blood and who knows what other less-than-savory substances.

Astarion expression pinched into one of mild disgust as he considered his own leathers which were equally smeared and foul.

“Yes, well, perhaps whatever contemptuous god is overseeing our day-to-day lives has seen fit to grace us with a private washroom? You know, as a way to apologize for all the horror and trauma that surrounds us every second of every day,” he bemoaned in that haughty, vain manner that only Astarion could pull off.

Unlocking the door, Astarion held it open and motioned with a gentlemanly flourish for Eli to enter. She did so, and the pale elf had to suppress a snort of laughter when she called out to him not five seconds later.

“Holy shit! I’ve never had such an emotional reaction to seeing a bar soap before!”

“I would hope we have not become such heathens that soap merits this much enthusiasm.”

“It smells like eucalyptus, Astarion! Eucalyptus!”

-------------------------------------------

There was, indeed, a private washroom.

Eli and Astarion took turns getting cleaned up. Soaking in a tub of warm, soapy water was a scarce luxury. Most days, their motley group was resigned to bathing in cold river water with minnows nipping at their toes as they tried to cleanse themselves with whatever natural herbs and ointments Halsin was able to scrounge up into a paste.

In truth, Astarion couldn’t recall the last time he’d been afforded the opportunity to simply enjoy a bath. Cazador certainly didn’t allow his spawn such niceties, and while he’d visited his fair share of taverns and hotels with rentable rooms while prowling for victims to bring back to his master, he was never able to just…be. To relish in the comfort of it all.

The warm water was soothing, banishing the endless chill of death sunk deep in his bones that was his constant state of being since the night he turned. Eli had washed before him and was now situated on the large plush bed across the room from the tub. A privacy screen blocked their view of one another, but they’d been chatting idly throughout the evening about nothing in particular.

Now, in a lull of silence between them, Astarion’s mind was wandering as he rested with his arms and head propped against the sides of the tub, eyes closed in a moment of calm that was all too fleeting these days. He lazily imagined having Eli in the water with him, her warm body pressed up against his which, for once, wouldn’t be cold and pallid to her touch…wouldn’t be greedily stealing the heat of her skin to warm his corpse.

But, he’d still be stealing her trust to warm his dead heart…

He sighed, feeling the ease of the moment slip away like the tendrils of steam coming off his bath water. He needed to own up to his manipulative intentions. Now. He couldn’t stomach the thought of holding Eli in his arms that night while she slept, peaceful and trusting. Holding onto him like he were something to be cared for, to be cherished. Unsuspecting of the truth…that he was deceitful and lowly.

That they never would have been here, in this room, had he not set out to use her for his selfish gain.

If he didn’t approach the subject now, he may not get another chance for some time. Their days were so overwrought with hardships and schemes that finding a moment of quiet was nearly as difficult as figuring out how to subdue the shadow curse.

Resigned to what he needed to do, and with an icy weight of dread sinking into his gut, Astarion rose from the tub and towled dry. He dressed in his typical casual outfit, a black ruffled shirt and dark trousers, and rounded the privacy screen to see Eli sitting on the bed, legs crisscrossed as she drew in a small leatherbound journal. She’d picked it up in the Emerald Grove, exchanging a dagger with Mattis for it that she’d picked up off some decrepit corpse or another.

Eli had taken to writing rather extensive notes in it about anything and everything; from information about the cult to descriptions of acquaintances and even hand drawn maps of the various areas they trekked through. She’d confided in Astarion that she feared what memories she’d made since the nataloid could one day be lost to her, just as her past was lost. And so she wanted to ensure, should that happen, she had a record she could refer to in order to hopefully reclaim some of what was gone.

Eli had even showed him several pages full of details about him. She’d written down all manner of notes, from little preferences he had – such as the style of embroidery needle he liked to use – to reminders such as: “You’ll figure out he’s a vampire pretty damn quick, Astarion is absurdly terrible at keeping secrets. Don’t be weird about it, he’s cool. He can get a bit whiny and obnoxious when he’s hungry, so make sure to keep him fed, especially if there isn’t much wildlife around. The wrist is for everyday use and the neck is for sexy times. Don’t believe him when he tells you that the inner thigh provides the best tasting blood. This is a kink and he is a liar! RATION ACCESS!”

That had made him smirk.

She’d also shown him two pages of detailed notes describing his appearance, from hair to foot. Eli wasn’t much for artistic talent, but she had a flair for the written word despite the copious amounts of vulgarity that shot from her mouth like dragon fire. The attention with which she’d described him and the complimentary nature of it all had caused his breath to catch at the back of his throat. He’d read the words over and over, actually able to picture his face in his mind’s eye as described. A strange sort of familiarity settled over him as he pictured the details on the page, and when he finally found his voice he’d stuttered a bewildered thank you, unused to the kindness she’d shown.

Now, as he sat on the edge of the bed, he felt a desperate fear burn to life inside himself. What if he never got to experience something like that again? What if their time together over the past weeks was all he ever got? Just a few brief flashes of respite among centuries of misery…

“Feeling better?” Eli asked, jolting Astarion out of his thoughts.

He blinked at her for a moment before clearing his throat and running a hand habitually through his hair.

“Yes…yes, I always feel better when I’m not covered in other people’s bodily fluids,” he said with a halfhearted chuckle that caused Eli to frown curiously and set down her journal.

She could sense something was off. And so with one last internal curse to himself, Astarion launched into one of the most anxiety-inducing things he’d ever done.

“I’ve…been meaning to talk to you. About us,” he said, tone soft and hesitant.

Eli shifted her weight on the bed, turning her body to face him. Her brows had furrowed only slightly, unsure whether she should be concerned about Astarion’s sudden shift in demeanor, yet fully open to listening attentively. Trusting. It made his gut twist.

“Is everything okay?”

“Yes, of course!” Astarion responded reflexively, instinctively jumping to make light of any tension. He bit back anymore reassurances before he could spit them out and cleared his throat, voice taking on a more serious tone.

“Except…not really,” he backpedaled.

Eli’s expression grew more worried and Astarion could see her already beginning to play through scenarios in her mind, trying to sort through what she may have done. What wrongs her broken mind may have committed. He sped forward, wanting to absolve her of any notion that she was at cause for anything.

“Look, I had a plan,” he began, turning towards her on the bed. “A nice simple plan. Seduce you, sleep with you, manipulate your feelings so you’d never turn on me,” he chuckled nervously, swallowing down the bile threatening to rise in his throat.

“It was easy…instinctive. Habits from two hundred years of charming people kicked in. All you had to do was fall for it…” His eyes dropped, unable to hold Eli’s stare as her own eyes searched his face, taken aback and confused by the sudden confession.

“And all I had to do was not fall for you,” he continued, glancing back up to her. Desperate for her to hear this next part. “Which is where my nice, simple plan…fell apart.”

Astarion paused, gazing at Eli with a mixture of trepidation and guilt as she watched him silently, stunned and not without a little hurt bleeding into her eyes as his words caught up with her brain.

“You’re…” he started, unsure how to put a voice to the storm wheeling inside of him. He wasn’t as eloquent as Eli, and never had he felt so incapable and inadequate at translating what he felt into words than he did right now. So he said what had been tearing him up from the inside out for days, and braced for the inevitable fallout.

“You’re incredible.” He couldn’t help the touch of a sad smile that came to his lips, or the nearly awed tone of his voice as he said the word like it could encase inside of it everything Eli had come to mean to him.

It wasn’t enough, he knew. No word would be enough. Nor would a thousand words. Because he didn’t understand how to express the way his heart seemed to flutter when she looked at him, despite it being cold and useless in his chest. He didn’t know how to explain the way her smile made him feel like someone worthwhile. Or how when he held her in his arms he thought that maybe…maybe some god somewhere had finally heard his desperate pleas.

“You deserve something real,” he admitted, with no small amount of shame, before adding, “I want us to be something real.”

Confessing to something he wanted, out loud and to someone else, was an experience he was woefully unfamiliar with. It was an experience he fully expected he’d come to regret, but he said it anyway and waited for the pain that was sure to follow.

Eli was quiet for a long moment, peering at Astarion with an expression he couldn’t quite read. He saw confusion and sadness, but there was something else, too. A flicker of something not unlike…understanding?

No, he was surely mistaken…

“So…” Eli said softly, working through her words before she spoke them out loud. Trying to parse through the influx of information coming at her.

“So, this hasn’t been real? Us? Everything we’ve been through. Our nights together…they didn’t mean anything to you…” she trailed off, almost as if she were talking to herself rather than asking it of him.

“Of course they did!” Astarion was quick to correct the assumption.

Gods, he didn’t want her to think that. Of course they had meant something to him, more than he’d thought they could. He’d chosen to be with her, even if it had initially been out of less than innocent desires, he’d chosen it. He hadn’t been forced to seek her out and lure her somewhere. She wasn’t a mark or some wretched experience he wanted to forget. He’d acted of his own free will, and even if the reasons hadn’t been as genuine as he’d made them out to be at the start, it was still the first decision he had made in nearly two centuries that wasn’t directed or forced.

That meant something to him. Those nights meant something to him. And, gods, so did she. That was part of the problem…

And so he explained as much, describing how he was used to twisting intimacy into something to be used rather than felt. How his past experiences with sex were bleeding over into the nights spent with her and that he didn’t have the faintest idea how to fix it. How he had trained himself to be numb, to wall himself off. And how, when Eli had finally, gently dismantled those walls he didn’t know what to do next…

“I don’t know how else to be with someone. No matter how much I’d like to…” Astarion concluded, feeling about as small and insignificant as he’d ever felt.

The silence that followed his confession made his skin crawl with ill ease. He stared at the bedding, terrified to look up and see the fury Eli surely felt. This was it; this was when she’d tell him to leave. And he would, quietly and without fuss. It was the last kindness he was capable of giving her.

“Astarion.” The calm softness of Eli’s voice nearly made the elf flinch. “Please look at me.”

Not a demand, but a request, spoken with care.

Confused, Astarion looked to her and instead of anger or hate or rage, he only found…her. Just Eli, looking back at him with thoughtful consideration. She should have been furious, but instead she simply took a steadying breath, scooting a bit closer on the bed so she could place a hand lightly on his knee.

He didn’t move, didn’t breathe as Eli looked at him and carefully began to speak.

“I care about you, Astarion.” She said it as if she were trying to convince him of the truth of her words, and he was stunned.

“Really?” he asked, breathless and unsure. But hopeful, too. Hopeful that maybe, just once, something in his miserable life might not end in disaster and pain.

“Yes, you beautiful fool!” she nearly laughed, squeezing at his knee.

Eli smiled at him and…gods above, it was the most dazzling and gorgeous thing he’d ever seen.

“Neither of us was looking for anything more than a night of comfort, and maybe some fun, when all of this started. We both had our own self-serving reasons,” she explained, before chuckling lightly. “Hells, I barely had more than a few weeks' worth of memories in my head at that point. Trying to rope anyone into a meaningful relationship was so low on my list of priorities I would have burst into flames on the spot had anyone mentioned the idea to me.”

Astarion couldn’t help the smile that grew on his face as Eli looked at him with an adoration that made him dizzy.

“But, things change. We changed. And, I’m glad that we did. I came to care about you in a way I don’t remember caring about anyone ever. And while that may not be saying much, considering…” Eli laughed and Astarion’s dead heart soared. “You’re special to me, right now. Regardless of how this started.”

This was certainly not how Astarion had expected this conversation to go, and he had never been so overjoyed to have his expectations usurped. He was entirely out of his depth, and so far outside his comfort zone that he was reeling. Words kept building up in the back of his throat and yet when he opened his mouth, he was struck dumb. He was overwhelmed, in the best way possible, but he hadn’t the slightest notion of what he was supposed to say or do next. And so he defaulted to what he knew.

“Well, I mean, of course I am, darling,” Astarion’s voice slipped into a silky tone. Anxiety was roiling inside of him and he tried to claw his way out, using the tools he knew best.

“The unyielding praise I am able to coax from your lips during our nights of passion has made it more than apparent,” he leaned in towards Eli, the tone of his words easing back into sultry familiarity.

Eli just shook her head with a breathy chuckle, meeting his gaze with a genuine affection in her eyes that made Astarion feel known in a way that was comforting.

“That’s not what I meant,” Eli chided with a tenderness that caught Astarion off-guard. “I mean you, Astarion. The person that you are. The person who cares about me enough to watch over me all night while I go mad. The person who is forgiving enough to not hate me the next morning. The person who makes me laugh after a long and painful day.”

Carefully, Eli raises a hand and gently presses it against Astarion’s cheek. He leans into the touch, expression softening and relaxing as his red eyes stay locked in to her own.

“The person who is being honest with me, right now. Who I appreciate more than I can say.”

Astarion was quite certain his brain had seized. He sat frozen, frantically searching her face for any hint of a lie and finding none, to his utter astonishment.

“That’s…” he started, then faltered. He knew he should say something, but his chest currently felt as if it was being wrenched open and no words would suffice to express his amazement.

“I don’t know what to say,” Astarion admitted after his stunned silence wore off. “Which is quite the accomplishment on your part, my dear.”

Eli smiled, warm and without expectations. It was beautiful.

“Thank you,” he breathed, closing the small gap between them and resting his forehead against her own. “For trusting me, and listening. For everything.”

His words were woefully inadequate, and he feared they always would be. But, Eli didn’t seem to mind and that brought him immeasurable relief.

“I’ll always listen,” Eli reassured him as she stroked the side of his face with her thumb. “Considering who you are, it’s kind of hard not to,” she teased.

His expression took on a somewhat sheepish hint as he took her hand from his cheek and held it reverently between both of his. He sat up a bit straighter as Eli pulled away, silently watching him run his fingers across her palm with a light touch.

“What do we do now?” he asked, hesitant and unsure.

Astarion looked to Eli for some sort of direction. He hadn’t thought this far ahead and honestly figured the conversation would have ended in tears or bloodshed or both by now. He didn’t know what a way forward with Eli looked like, but he knew he wanted her with him. Maybe he could ignore the confused and unsavory feelings that intruded upon their nights together? He wanted to enjoy her, to satisfy her without the shadows of past hurts creeping in. Perhaps he could figure out how…

“What do you want to do?” Eli responded, turning the question back onto him and taking him by surprise.

Astarion looked back to Eli, brows raised at the unexpected question. He considered her for a moment, thinking through how to answer. What did he want?

“I’m not sure…” he said honestly. “No one’s ever asked me that before. About anything, really.”

Eli waited, smiling reassuringly, though with a hint of sadness at Astarion’s words. It was freeing, somewhat, to be given the space to think about what he wanted and a chance to put a voice to it. But, it was also a little overwhelming, and truth be told he wasn’t quite sure how to figure it out.

“I know I don’t want to lose you,” he affirmed, squeezing her hand in his.

He did want something real with Eli. The problem was, he didn’t know what real looked like. This was unfamiliar territory for him, and he didn’t even know how in the hells he was supposed to get his bearings.

“I don’t want that, either. You know, we could be together without sex. For however long we need,” Eli suggested, a small smirk playing at the corner of her mouth. “I don’t think I have the best associations with it, either, considering the…things that sometimes pop into my head. Maybe we both could use time to work through those things.”

Astarion considered the idea, a cool rush of relief overcoming him as it truly began to sink in that Eli wasn’t only interested in him for his body and the way it roused it her own. They were good together, really fucking good. But it was becoming more and more difficult to reconcile what he had done in his past, under the subjugation of Cazador, with what he did with Eli now. He didn’t want to treat her like a mark or just another one of his conquests. She deserved better than that from him – to be cherished and worshiped, even ravished, fully and completely and without the haunting presence of ghosts that lurked in the corners of his mind.

“Why that almost sounds like a challenge,” Astarion said, trying to slip back into his sultry mannerisms yet failing to hide the appreciation he felt.

His tone then shifted into something quieter and more tentative as Astarion asked, “Can we…still share a bed? I think I’d miss sleeping in your arms.”

He cleared his throat, eyes darting to the side. The vulnerability behind his question was uncomfortable for him, but he thought maybe he could manage if it kept them from spending their nights apart. He’d grown fond of drifting off to sleep with her near, lulled by the low beat of her heart and the soft sighs of her breathing. It was a comfort he had never imagined himself longing for, and yet with Eli he’d quickly come to miss her warmth on the nights they slept in their own tents. Her absence at his side becoming a chill he’d rather not endure.

“I’d like that,” Eli agreed, giving his own hand a soft and appreciative squeeze.

“Well,” Astarion sighed, tension easing out of him as he leaned forward suddenly and wrapped Eli in an embrace that quickly had them tumbling back onto the bed. “No time like the present!”

Eli laughed and Astarion pulled her close, reveling in the easy solace of having everything between them out in the open rather than eating away at his insides. He rolled onto his back, tugging her up onto him so that her head was resting on his chest, just below his chin. His fingers idly stroked through her hair, eyelids drooping as the stress of the day finally caught up to him.

“This is nice,” he mumbled a bit more sleepily than intended.

A contented hum was the only response he heard from Eli before sleep took him completely.

___________________________________

In the morning Karlach gave them a knowing smirk as they descended the stairs and Eli began rummaging through the Inn’s cabinets for something that could pass as breakfast.

“You two look happy,” she remarked as Astarion took a seat across from her at one of the low tables near the central firepit. “Seems a night on your own did the both of you some good.”

The tiefling eyed Astarion pointedly as she raised a mug of coffee and sipped, eyes twinkling with more than a bit of self-satisfied mischief.

Astarion clicked his tongue and leaned back in his chair, feigning disinterest as he began to study his nails.

“You know, Karlach,” he began, flicking a speck of dirt from the tip of a finger. “For someone without a heart, you sure do seem to get invested in the romantic affairs of others.”

Karlach nearly spit coffee across the table as a boisterous laugh leapt up from her chest. She managed to contain herself, half choking and half coughing into her mug before she set it aside.

“That’s rich, fangs, coming from the likes of you,” Karlach giggled with good nature. “Honestly, I was just getting tired of the constant pining and lovesick angst between the both of you. For a pair of bloodthirsty murderhobos, you two are adorably dense when it comes to interactions that don’t involve stabbing something.”

“And for a professional killing machine from the hells, you are a hopeless gossip,” Astarion replied, shooting Karlach a sidelong glare before he glanced across the room to where Jaheira was consulting with a pair of Harpers as they studied a map.

He cleared his throat and pointedly did not look at the tiefling, speaking low for only the two of them to hear.

“Anyway…thank you. For meddling,” he said somewhat stiffly, though there was a timid genuineness to his words that made Karlach beam.

“Always happy to meddle, fangs.”

83 notes · View notes

ewa-jednak-chce-spac · 11 months

Text

#funamusea #idatatsu #lovestruck #sin with me #cal x mc #idate #tatsumiya #caleb north #swm mc #tumblr games #the one true ultimate shipping tournament

6 notes · View notes

liviusofpella · 5 months

Text

NEW TAG LIST POST!! I AM OFFICIALLY ADVERTISING MY SERVICES 😂 I write fics for Tyril x human!f!MC and Cal Lowell x MC, but I plan on starting writing Romance Club (HS / Luci; SOTCN / Livius, perhaps also Rame; KFS / Ram) one shots soon. If you'd like to be tagged please specify which pairing for! You can reply to this post or send me a dm/ask!

Current tag list for blades: @cashweasel @starlight-starfury @erixafleur @mila-bee @megas-choices @agattthaa @lazypartridge @brycesgirl @watatsumi-island @sophie-summer @lilyoffandoms @petalouda85 @moonlightgem7

Current tag list for nightbound: @ladylamrian @lilyoffandoms @starlight-starfury @lazypartridge @brycesgirl

Song of the Crimson Nile: @agattthaa

IF YOU WISH TO BE REMOVED FROM THE LIST JUST LET ME KNOW!!

#tag list #romance club #playchoices #blades of light and shadow 2 #choices bolas #choices blades #tyril starfury #tyril x mc #blades of light and shadow #cal lowell #choices nightbound

21 notes · View notes

band--psycho · 9 months

Text

Fic Recs - August 2023

I'm sorry I've been a bit quiet on here the last few weeks- but keep your eyes peeled because I'm planning something exciting!!

In the meantime, I know it's been a hot minute since I've done a list of recs that I absolutely love; so I thought it was about time I did one!

I hope you all enjoy these as much as I have! 💛

Mayans MC

Gilly Lopez

Gilly Lopez x Reader by @withmyteeth

Gilly Lopez x Reader by @darklydeliciousdesires

Gilly Lopez x Reader - Weekend Getaway by @drabbles-mc

Gilly Lopez x Reader-By The Fire by @cositapreciosa

Johnny 'Coco' Cruz

Coco Cruz x Redaer- Hushed Whispers by @purestxblood

Coco Cruz x Reader by @bullet-prooflove

Coco x Reader by @menofchaos

Marauders

Remus Lupin

Modern!Remus Lupin x Reader by @pray4saint

Remus Lupin x Reader by @lizard-on-a-window-pane

Remus Lupin x Reader by @theemporium

Remus Lupin x Reader-Let Me Ride You by @mrsmikaelsxn

Remus Lupin x Reader -It's Okay by @micheleamidalajedi

Sirius Black

Sirius Black x Reader-Unexpected Results by @xacatalepsyx

Sirius Black x Reader-Delicate by @whorediaries-09

Sirius Black x Reader by @yrluvjane

Poly!Marauders

Poly!Marauders x Reader- Negligence by @futurecorps3

Stranger Things

Steve Harrington

Steve Harrington x Reader by @ghostlyfleur

Steve Harrington x Reader - Meet After In The Afterglow by @upsidedownwithsteve

Steve Harrington x Reader - BETTY by @supernovafics

Steve Harrington x Reader- Buried Feelings by @sweet-villain

Steve Harrington x Reader- Birthday Dream by @lisalay00

Steve Harrington x Reader - Summer Love by @26wh57

Other

Benedict Bridgerton x Reader- Moments Series by @fayes-fics

Harvey Specter x Reader- My Tailor by @fox-bee926

Raymond Smith x Reader x Tangerine-Who You Belong To by @youvebeenlivingfictional

Negan x Reader - Infinity by @little-diable

Bucky Barnes x Reader-Three Times Feelings Went Unspoken, and the One Time It Was by @seishuswife

Steve Harrington x Reader by @ghostlyfleur

Thorin Oakenshield x Reader by @ragingbookdragon

Jinx x Reader - But I Miss You, I'm Sorry by @the-dumpster-fire-of-life

Cal Kestis x Reader - I'm Headed To The Mountains by @spacesurfing

#fic rec #fic recs 2023 #fic recs #fanfiction #fic recommendation #fic rec list #fic rec list 2023

55 notes · View notes

garbinge · 9 months

Text

A Hole In A Shoe

Steve Murphy x Murphy!F!Reader (Murphy Sister Reader from this fic) Javi Peña x Murphy!F!Reader A/N: The way I started this August Challenge with this crew and just expected it to be a stand alone one shot..lol. This is just the next installment, have one more written and who knows where it'll go! lol. Word Count: 2.2k Warnings: Drunk, drinking, mentions of exes and proposals, trashing of apartments (could be considered semi-abusive relationship), cursing. Narcos Taglist: @drabbles-mc @justreblogginfics @narcolini

“I need you to pick me up.” Your voice slurred into the payphone in the bar.

“It’s like 12:30 in the morning over there.” Steve’s voice was raspy. He wiped his eyes in an attempt to wake up and process you on the other line.

“Okay well, the bartender took my keys so it’s either I walk back to my hotel on the fuckin’ highway or you come and get me because you’re the only person I know in Miami.”

Steve let out a sigh. “I’m not in Miami, kid.”

If you weren’t drunk you would have clocked the stress in his voice, maybe even have realized he was stressfully rubbing his temples with his hand as his arm rested on his knee but you were blissfully unaware.

“Okay sorry, I forgot that your house is in Hialeah, same shit though, can you just get me.” You let out a hiccup at the end of your sentence.

“No, I’m back in Colombia.”

Now you heard the stress in his voice.

“I literally just saw you.” You were confused, and despite being drunk this was something that would have thrown you for a loop regardless.

“Yea, I got called back in last minute and figured since I dropped you off at the airport this morning, I didn’t need to update you yet. Which– why aren’t you home? Why are you still in Miami?”

Fuck. You didn’t think that part through.

“I canceled my flight.” You said in a whisper worried about his response.

“The one I paid for?” Steve was now fully awake.

“Scheduled it for later.” You danced around the topic.

“How later?” Steve’s voice just got more annoyed.

“A month from now.”

“Jesus Christ.” Steve was now standing up in his small apartment in Colombia, moving towards his dresser like he was able to just get dressed and come down to pick you up.

As he approached the dresser he saw the picture of him and his family tucked behind the wood and in front of the mirror. The photo included 5 of you. Your mom, your dad, Steve, you and Connie. You were snugged up next to her, Connie had become a close friend to you, Steve was happy about that, with all the issues your parents caused regarding his job, the last thing he needed was more drama. But that was who you were, you were kind, you were easy going, you were annoying but all out of good reason.

What would Connie do?

That was the thought running through Steve’s head. He wanted to reprimand you but he knew she would have cut you slack. Figured out what was really going on.

“Why’d you do that?” His voice was trying, there was still frustration there but he was trying to understand.

“I don’t think I can go home.” You were now starting to get teary eyed and crying in a bar in Miami at 12:30AM was not on your to-do list.

“I thought you hated Miami?” Steve questioned, still staring at the picture of him and his family.

“Not as much as I hate New York, I guess.” You sniffled, making sure your tears didn’t make it down your cheek.

Steve knew exactly what you were talking about, he didn’t need to ask. It was a guy. Not just any guy, but the guy who had proposed to you, the guy you told no and decided to trash your apartment. There was likely more details there that Steve wasn’t privy too, but he didn’t need to know anything more.

“Let me call you a ride.” Steve was now thinking of what to do in this very moment for you. “You can stay at my place for the time being, the keys inside the flower box on the left side.”

“I don’t think I’ll remember that.” You chuckled closing your eyes and resting it against the wall the payphone was attached to.

“I’ll call you at the hotel tomorrow. Let me get you a ride. Where are you?” Steve smiled.

“Better Days Bar.”

“Fitting.” Steve actually let out a laugh this time. “Alright, drink some water, I’ll have a ride for you in 30 minutes.”

“Thanks big brother.” You let out a sigh as the relief left your body.

You didn’t realize who your brother was sending. You figured he’d call you a cab, call the hotel’s car service, maybe even one of Connie’s friends, but not Javier Peña. If you had known, maybe you wouldn’t have convinced the bartender to keep serving you.

The alcohol now had you dancing, luckily you were still a good few minutes away from getting up on the bar and you’d take that win right now.

As your name rolled off his tongue you froze, you knew the voice, even only having heard it once. As you turned, you smiled, taking the embarrassment with stride.

“Care for a drink, Peña?”

“Think I’m supposed to be your DD.” He smirked.

Fuck, had you not noticed that smirk before? No, you did, the alcohol in your system was just making the thought a lot less harder to push aside.

Somehow you agreed to walk out of the bar with him. But you weren’t just ready to get in the car you assumed he rented during his time down in Miami. At some point you made a break for the beach which was right across from the bar. You weren’t sure how Steve did it, beaches and bars within walking distance? It was a dream. Maybe Miami wasn’t so bad after all.

Javi caught up with you, calling after you in a flustered panic. The last thing he needed was to lose you or accidentally let you drown in the ocean. Neither was going to be the conversation he wanted to have with Steve.

Just as Javi reached you, your body lost all balance, it didn’t help that the sand was tough to navigate even for a person who didn’t have practically the entirety of a tequila bottle in their system. Javi caught you, his arms quick to wrap around you and steady you.

“It’s these damn shoes.” You looked down to your feet, Javi still holding you in his grip. You let out a gasp which caused Javi to hold you tighter and look down where your gaze was. He was expecting to see a broken bone, blood, something from the stumble but was left confused when he saw nothing.

“There’s a hole in my shoe.” You lifted your leg up and shook it in the air.

“Yea, they’re sandals.” He stood behind you now, arms still steadying you, his eyes frowning at your comment.

“Oh.” You let out a hiccup, you were really drunk, those last few drinks after your call to Steve really putting you over the edge.

Javi plopped you down on the sand and took a seat next to you. He knew there was no chance of getting you back to the car right now, so he’d just chat with you until you sobered up just enough to want to go home.

“Why are you here?” You turned to him, eyes glossy staring at him.

He was reaching in his pocket for a smoke, bringing it up to his mouth before answering making his voice muffled. “Steve called me.”

“I know that. I mean in Miami. You didn’t get called down last minute.” You dug your sandals into the sand.

“Steve didn’t get called down, he volunteered. I enjoy my vacation time.” Javi immediately regretted sharing that piece of information. He didn’t know how you were going to take it and if it was going to be taken badly, he hoped you’d be too drunk to remember tomorrow.

“Kid can’t sit still.” You shook your head, not mad or honestly shocked.

“Kid?” Javi raised his eyebrows and let out a chuckle that exhaled smoke out of his mouth.

“It’s what he calls me.” You laughed back.

“Why are you here?” Javi asked, hoping the conversation would sober you up as time went by.

“Don’t really feel like going home.” You shook your head, thinking about New York made you want to throw up.

“What’s your plan?” Javi asked passing you the cigarette. As you took it in your hand, you waved around you to signal what your thoughts were. “Right.” He nodded and leaned forward, letting his arms rest on his knees.

“You’re not sore on the eyes, you know that, Peña?” You changed the subject as you looked over at him through the smoke of the cigarette.

The laugh he let out was one of disbelief, the last thing he expected you to say was that.

“Thanks I think.” He took the bud of the cigarette back taking one last drag of it.

“Oh, it’s a compliment.” You laughed and changed the topic again. “You watch out for my brother?”

It was a more serious comment, you did worry.

“He doesn’t need a babysitter.” Javi switched into his DEA mode quickly like he was talking to someone he worked with.

“Never said he did. I just wanna make sure that if you’re the one he’s out on the field with you’ve got his back.” You didn’t stop staring at him.

Javi’s shoulders slumped as he took in who he was talking to, who you were, what you’d have to do if something took a turn.

“Yea I’ve got his back.” He nodded and started playing with the sand.

The silence was deafening, at least for Javi. For you, you were in your own drunk world that was slowly starting to level out since you weren’t feeding your body more alcohol at the moment. The waves of the Atlantic ocean crashing into the sand mixed with the bustling of the city behind you filled both of your ears. For you, it brought you peace, but for Javi it did the opposite.

“You know you’re not too sore on the eyes either.” Javi filled the silence between you.

Your stomach rumbled from the laugh you let out. You were not expecting Javi to say anything of the sorts. Especially after you had just discussed your brother.

“I’ve dated men like you before Javi.” Your statement could have been taken with a pointedness to it, but you were giddy, you weren’t giving him attitude or a negative demeanor.

“Men like me? Like what?” He asked, now intrigued.

“Men who flirt with everyone, disconnected from connection, don’t know love, probably never want to know it, hate being alone but spend most nights lonely, despite who's in your bed– never want to settle down, want me to go on?” For being drunk, you thought you hit the nail on the head with that.

“From what I hear you don’t want to settle down either.” Javi responded back quickly, not taking anytime to ruminate on what you had said.

“Steve’s got a big mouth.” You turned to look at the ocean. Unlike Javi, you couldn’t brush off the comment that easily. “Yea, I said no. And you know what that fucker did? Trashed my shit.” Your anger began bubbling.

“See what wanting to settle down does to a man?” Javi teased you and the humor of it actually brought you down a few levels.

“My parents, they told me to tell him I made a mistake. Beg him to take me back. They think I need a man to take care of me, like I haven’t been on my own since I was 16.” Your head shook.

“What’d Steve say?” Javi was curious but also, he was trying to change your point of view.

“That if he ever sees that asshole again he’s gonna throw him off a balcony.” You huffed.

“Why a balcony?” Javi was intrigued.

“Because he threw the electric typewriter Steve got me off ours.”

“You write?” Javi was learning a lot about you.

“I do.” You nodded with a smile. “Don’t get ahead of yourself, Javi. This little knight and shining armor routine doesn’t make you a chapter in my memoir.”

“How long you in Miami for?” He asked starting to stand up and shake the sand off himself, he looked down at you extending a hand out to you.

“Not sure, I can push my flight credits out 2 more times.” Grabbing his hand, he pulled you up and now you two were standing dangerously close. Javi wouldn’t cross that line. Not the line of you being Steve’s little sister, but the one of taking advantage of you since you were drunk.

“I’ve got 4 days, if you’re up for it, maybe we can work on some crazy adventure that’ll make it in your memoir.” His hand was still attached to yours as you stood in front of each other.

You thought about it for a few beats as you stared at him. He wasn’t sore on the eyes, you were so right about that. Would it be the worst thing if you had a little fun, you deserved it, right? No strings, no stress, no worry of proposals and things getting trashed.

“Well it just so happens you caught me when my schedule is completely free, Peña.”

“Well then, let’s have us an adventure.”

#narcos fanfiction #narcos fanfic #narcos netflix #steve murphy narcos #steve murphy & sister #Steve Murphy Sister #javier peña & reader #Javier Peña x Murphy!Reader #javi peña #javier peña

21 notes · View notes

mynotsohealthyobsession · 1 year

Note

Hello @mynotsohealthyobsession , I hope you're doing well. I really enjoy your fanfics and have a fic request for you (since I have no idea how to write it myself but I believe you can do it!):

A fic similar to the Choices Book "The Princess Swap" where your Bloodbound MC, Amy (business woman and/or vampire) swaps roles (or the other way around) with Nightbound MC (hunting partner and/or future fae duchess).

Pairings: Amy(F!MC)×Adrian & Alex(F!MC)×Nik

ONLY IF YOU WANT: EXTRA: If possible, you could add pets too just like the characters in Barbie movies had when they swapped roles. I know your BB MC loves dogs and I don't know about your NB MC, but she has a perrikin. Maybe she is a cat person and have a cat. Also very interesting, dog person vs. cat person?! Or Adrian Raines vs. Nik Ryder.

I mean, in my opinion, both MCs do have a few similarities like discovering Supernatural World, having family secrets, four LIs and they both have died once. You know.

Hi darling! Thanks for the request! This isn't exactly what you ask for, but I hope you enjoy it!

Disembodied - Part 1 / 8

Warning: Mention of death // Angst // Fluff

Pairings: Adrian Raines X MC // Nik Ryder X MC

Words: 1.515

As always, tags in the reblog!

•••

Amy felt her body was heavy and different. Funny. She always thought that it was the opposite when you die. Slowly, her senses started to wake up. She heard people shouting around her and the clear sounds of a fight. Was Gaius still alive? She forced her eyes open and the light dazed her. After a few seconds, she realized it was the sun. She looked around, panicked. "Adrian?" Amy asked, scared to find ashes but instead noticing a city that clearly wasn't New York. "Guys?"

With wobbling legs she stood, frozen when she was her reflection in the shop window in front of her.

This obviously was a nightmare. She clearly has died and, for some reason, she was in hell. These weren't her hands. Nor her face. And she definitely didn't have gray hair. These leather clothes, with the front soaked in blood, weren't her clothes. She turned to see a blonde guy fighting with a creature she had never seen in her life.

"Nik! Watch it!" Amy turned to a familiar figure running to the stranger. She had only seen him once in Vegas but that was definitely Cal, the werewolf. The fight kept going but the pale creature seemed too strong. Suddenly, it turned its ugly face to her.

"Shit!" Before she could react, it rapidly ran to her.

"Alex! No!" The blonde guy, both shocked and what seemed scared, shot arrow after arrow, following it. "Run!" But it was impossible, the creature was too fast. Amy covered her face with her arms and, to her shock, she heard a pained scream from the other side. The creature was whining with a huge wound on its side.

"That power…" Said a tall girl with smoking hands.

"Alex! Do it again!" Amy nodded at Cal's words unsure, sending her hands forward, praying for a miracle. Her palms expelled a bright strong magic that sent the creature flying up, tearing it apart, until it fell, dead. Amy fell to her knees, exhausted.

"Alex!" Nik, as Cal had called him, ran to her, dropping his weapon and kneeling to observe her. "Are you okay, Rook? What happened to your wound?"

"I think I'm fine." Her voice sounded so strange to her.

"You think you are fine?!" He seemed irritated.

"She might be still in a daze, Ryder. Let her be." A second girl said.

"I just want to know if she is okay, Katy." He looked intensely into her eyes and Amy missed Adrian's stare. She hoped that he and the rest of the gang were okay. "For god's sake, Alex! He stabbed you in the chest with his hand! You fucking died!" She felt her throat dry. She had been stabbed, yes, but with a sword. By Gaius.

***

"Amy! Stop!" Alex heard a male voice screaming but she couldn't focus on the words. She was so hungry, and that woman's blood smelled so delicious. "Amy!" A strong hand seized her wrist, stopping her. A pair of blue eyes that weren't Nik's observed her face with awe. "You are alive." The tall man smiled. "Amy, you are alive."

"I'm not–" But before she couldn't finish, the world turned black.

"So you found her in Central Park, Raines?"

"Yes. She was about to attack a wounded woman. When I stopped her, she didn't seem to recognize me."

"She's probably still adjusting. It's been four days after all."

The voices sounded around her but she didn't recognize any of them. Alex felt strange… different. The last thing she remembered was Thomas' hand piercing open her chest, killing her. Alex opened her eyes and four unknown faces looked at her with concern.

"Oh my god!" The girl with glasses ran to her, tightly hugging her. She pushed the woman away, standing up.

"Lily, give her space." A woman with a stern gesture said.

"Amy, are you alright?" The tall man wearing a suit asked, looking concerned. She didn't answer, her eyes studied the space she was in. It was an elegant office, with a huge closed window. She rushed to it, opening the curtains.

"Oh my god…" She didn't know how but she wasn't in New Orleans anymore. Instead, a smoking New York was in front of her. "This can't be happening." She said, furrowing at the different voice that came from her mouth.

"Amy?"

"This is a nightmare," Alex whispered.

"I know how much you love New York, Amy. I wish you hadn't seen it like this." Alex didn't turn, now looking at her reflection in the window. A long-haired woman looked back at her. She moved like her but her features were unknown. Alex extended her hand towards the glass and so did the other woman. A hand on her shoulder, even gentle as his, made her flinch. "My apologies."

"It's fine."

"I'm sorry to ask this, but could you give us a moment of privacy?"

"Of course. Jax, Lily, come on." The other two headed to the door. "Don't forget about the meeting, Adrian."

"I know." She felt nervous, even though the man was watching her with concern and fondness. "Amy, are you aware of what is happening?"

"Not completely." He leaned against the desk.

"That night, in the Met… You were dying. And, as I held you, I made a decision." Adrian sighed guiltily. "I turned you."

"Yo-You turn me?"

"You are a vampire, Amy. Just like Lily, Jax, Kamilah, and me."

***

"Come on, come on. Please work." Amy pressed and held the power button on the phone again, expected but the screen remained black and broken. "Damn it!" She threw it against the wall, frustrated. Amy sat on the edge of the sofa in, from what she understood, was Nik's apartment, where this Alex girl was staying. Amy had found the phone in her jacket. She intended to call her own cell and see what happened. It was a long shot but, If she was in Alex's body, could Alex be in hers? Unfortunately, she couldn't confirm or deny that theory at the moment.

She didn't want to ask for a cell phone and respond to questions she might not have an answer for.

For the moment she had decided to play along. It was better that they thought she was Alex instead of saying that someone else was in Alex's body and everybody thought she had lost her mind. Even though she already was thinking that.

She closed her eyes and her mind returned to Adrian and the Met. She could see his face, contracted with sorrow, as he held her. 'And I lo–' Was he saying that he loves her? She missed him and was scared of what was happening. Her eyes burned with tears that slowly rolled down her cheeks and she allowed herself to sink into the moment for a little.

"Alex?" Nik's voice cut the silence as he walked through the front door. He had left her to change her clothes.

"Yeah?" Amy quickly dried the tears away, composing herself.

"The gang is waiting for you to start the celebration." Nik walked to her, sitting beside her. She unintentionally tensed. "Before we head downstairs, I…" He scratched the back of his neck. "You know I'm not good at this."

"This?" Amy asked, confused.

"This. Talking and… Feelings." He cleared his throat. "About what happened before Thomas' attack, I–"

"Nik." Amy cut him off, "It's been a long and... Extremely weird day. Can we talk another time? Please?"

"Sure, Rook. C'mon, let's get you a drink." He stood and went to the door with Amy following him. Whatever he was about to say, she wasn't the person it was meant for. And, honestly, there was only one man she had feelings for… and she was determined to return to him.

***

"Amy, please say something."

"I…" Alex returned her gaze at the window, looking at her reflection again. It seemed so unreal. "I understand." She honestly did. If someone dear to her were dying, she would definitely do whatever it is in her power to save them. Even turn them into a vampire.

"I know we haven't talked about your turning before but the mere thought of losing you was unbearable for me." Adrian said, deeply looking into her eyes. Alex turned away, scared that, somehow, he noticed it wasn't Amy's soul inside her body. "I'm truly sorry."

"Don't worry about it, Adrian." She forced a smile. "You have a meeting now?" Adrian nodded, still attentively observing her.

"Yes, indeed we do."

"With the rest of the vampires?"

"Not exactly. With Moira Pembrooke, about New York's situation."

"The Secretary of Defense?" Her jaw dropped and Adrian gently smiled.

"Are you interested in participating?"

"Yes!" Adrian chuckled.

"Let's go then." He made a gesture as he wanted to take her hand but, after observing her with a slight furrow between his eyebrows, he just fixed his sleeves in place, walking out of the office with Alex following him. She needed to be cautious. She not only was surrounded by four vampires but powerful people too with connections in the government.

✨

#choices stories you play #playchoices #choices fanfiction #adrian raines x mc #adrian raines #fanfiction writer #adrian x amy #adrian x mc #ask response #thanks for the ask!#nik ryder x mc #nik ryder x alex #nik ryder #choices bloodbound #choices nightbound

31 notes · View notes