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room-on-broom · 5 years

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Hi, your vampire!hb drawings are amazing! For the au ask: What do you think about hb on a (your favourite) space ship?

I’ve only just saw this ask this afternoon I am so sorry! here we go!

The Tuesday had been normal. Extremely boringly normal… until it got really weird. One moment Mildred had been nipping to the shops for her mum, then she swept along in the adventure. And not a fun one. Sure she’d made a new friends in Maud and Tabby at least. But Maud was purple. Tabby was actually Kit-10, a robot. And people had DIED. Aliens. Witches. Robots. The woods coming to life. An angry lady in an almost Edwardian black dress. Magic… Mum would be back at the flat (if there was still a flat!) wondering where she was.

Right now though, they need to be going. Earlier she’d seen the witchy looking lady ( Maud had said she was her teacher, but she looked like no teacher Mildred had ever seen) had given Maud a bottle of red stuff then vanished. Later cornered the green alien tree thing, Maud had thrown a bottle of red stuff at it and yelled “Run!”

Mildred had done as she was told but not knowing where to go had followed Maud. The potion had given them a head start on the monster but not much. Mildred could hear it not far behind them as they tore down the back alleys, roaring and knocking over wheelie bins.

“It’s a dead end this way!” Mildred gasped. They were zigzagging toward the scrap yard Mil knew the gates where high and locked. Normally. Someone had left them open and Maud dragged her on regardless. Then Mildred saw what they were aiming for. It was wooden and blue and had not been there this morning when she’d cycled past.

“But it’s box!”

“Just Come on!” Maud urged. And yanked her inside and slammed the door. Mildred put all her small weight against it barricading it shut. “Hover! Up and AWAY!”

Mildred was almost thrown back at the lurch. The alien must have hit the door.

“How will this help? It can smash though walls!”

“Not these ones! We’re not in that place in time and space anymore, we’ve moved.” Maud grinned. “Or are moving? HB was ready with a transfer at any rate-“

“Why is there a human in here?!”

Both Mildred and Maud jumped at the voice and turned around.

“Mistress!”

Mildred fell to the floor as Maud ran up to her teacher. A teacher stood with her arms folded looking even more cross the she’d done earlier.

“Let me re phrase that,” she said coldly. “Why have you brought that particular untidy and clumsy non-magical human child in here on to my ship?”

But Mildred wasn’t paying attention. Instead of the inside of a shed or a cupboard like she’d expected the inside of the blue box was- well it was hard too describe. But it was enormous!

A stone cavern that had been built into, Metal and brass and wood and glass floor runways. but as if it had grown up from the rockface, lined with shelves of books and bottles and jars and cupboards looking Like a ancient library and a laboratory all in one. Candelabras hung High above from a Ceiling like hallowed hall dotted with a galaxy of stars, lighting the place in soft oranges and blues. In the centre, where Maud and the ‘HB’ stood, There was a large pink and silver crystal Colom stretching from the floor below to almost the roof. It moved slowly up and downas if the very place was breathing. A big table or alter hugged the middle of it, covered in instruments and strange systems.

“Maud Warlock Moonshine Spellbody There is absolutely no excuse-!”

“But she is magic! I saw her! She’s what Agatha’s cronies, were after not me.”

“So you brought her here?!”

“She was in trouble! I couldn’t leave just her. And she helped me earlier! I think she knows where the others are.”

Mildred blinked, turning back to her new friend. Maud was apparently trying to vouch for her. Judging by glare, the Time Witch was not impressed.

“Think? Is this some kind of joke?” she said approaching Mildred.

“it’s -it’s-“ Mildred stammered.

“Bigger on the inside. Yes, I’m aware, heard it all before.” Snapped the stranger. Suddenly she grabbed Mildred’s hand and dragging her up the steps to the middle of the room, and held her hand onto a handle forcing it down. “Hold that down. Do not let go under any circumstance.”

She then addressed Maud stalking around the console. “Humans are trouble. That one will be trouble. You can’t keep them. Why isn’t it in a school? They have compulsory education in this era.”

“ ‘She’. Millie doesn’t have school Mistress.” Maud shrugged. She was taking the collection of things out her bag and carefully measuring them out into smoking pot that had sprung up from somewhere. ‘Tabby’ was next to her curled up on the table, his silver wire fur reflecting the light around it. If it was wasn’t for the cable plugged into his belly, he would look like he was asleep. “It’s something they call ‘sommer holladay’.”

“Oh, those. I don’t believe in them.” The lady scoffed and pulled a screen around to her, studying whatever gibberish it was saying intently. But said nothing else.

No one did for a while. For the first time since the high street had exploded, it was quiet. And time was slow. Mildred could catch her breath. Mildred could only hear Maud as she worked, tabby’s whirring purr. and some far away hum deep and rubbling. She Feel the vibrations up through her feet as if this big place were flying.

The woman didn’t relax, although she’d shed her elegant black cloak from earlier. Mildred took a better look at her. She stood as straight backed as ever, even more Tall and thin and all angles now without the robes. She wore a Black blouse with a high collar, its funny cuffs rolled up her for arms and a embraided black waist coat with matching- Mildred wasn’t sure if it was a tight long skirt or a pair of trousers but it matched. And Pocket watch too. but its chain went twice around the women waist with a bunch of keys attached, then looped around her neck so the watch hung down like a necklace. Hair piled up high on her head, and a pale profile with burgundy lipstick. She wasn’t pretty. But there was something handsome in her face, like the old paintings. There was the energy about her too, like a crouching panther or an oncoming snow storm…

A large book had popped into existence and hovered helpfully at the teacher’s side. She kept switching from reading it to adjusting the controls. All the while carefully watching Maud doing whatever it was Maud was doing and offering up the occasional instruction.

“Stir it three hundred and forty three degrees withershins. Then leave it half an witching hour and it should be done.”

“Will it be enough Mistress?” Maud asked, putting away her bits and bobs. A wave of her hand had the pot, precious contents and all stored neatly under the metal flooring.

“It’ll have to do.” Her teacher sighed. “It reverse some ot the effects at least.”

“Excuse me? Miss?” Mildred pipped up timidly. The lady’s head snapped up, as if she’d forgotten Mildred was there. “What’s going to happen to Rowen?”

“Who?” the stranger said.

“Her next door neiabour. He’s a frog.” Maud added helpfully.

“You live next door to a frog?” Her mistress said frowning at Mildred.

“No, he wasn’t a frog he was Rowan Webb but that thing-!” Mildred said. Suddenly she felt her eyes watering, the day catching up on her. “It- It turned Rowan in to a frog! He saved us but-! And the others-!”

A hanky on sprung out of the console , thrust in her face by a claw. Followed by a glass of water. Maud came around and hugged her tight.

“they’ll be fine.” The time witch said after a pause. Awkwardly. And possibly lying. “there there. don’t cry. You’re no use crying. Tell me exactly what you saw today.”

Mildred did albeit with a sniffle.

“Was that an alien?” She asked afterwards.

“Technically not for you. It originated from earth.” The lady sighed.

“Have we really moved? From the junk yard?”

“Yes. We transferred.”

“How?” Mildred asked.

“You would even understand if I told you so I’m not going to waste my breath.”

“So where are we?”

“No where yet I haven’t decided.”

“What about home? My Mum? All the people?” Mildred asked. “Who are you?”

“Oh will you stop asking questions I’m trying to concentrate!” the lady snapped standing up to tower over Mildred.

“Now now, HB.” Said a voice. A soft laughing voice that echoed around the console, the grey pink light flickering with each syllable. “She’s a child, be gentle with her.”

Mildred shrieked in surprise letting go of the lever.

Aliens. Witches. Robots. The woods. Magic. Up till now she’d coped quite well but now spaceships that talked was really far too much on top of everything else!

“I said Not to let that go.” ‘HB’ scowled. “It was a very simple instruction.”

“What will it do?” Maud asked helping Mildred to her feet.

“Absolutely nothing. I just needed her away from the door and not to wander off or break anything.” Maud’s teacher said.

The voice made a disagreeable noise. HB made one right back.

Only it sounded like a name.

“Ada...”

“Don’t worry. It’s only the CACKLE.” Maud reassured to Mildred in a stage whisper. “Part of the TARDIS interface. That’s what we’re in by the way. It stands for Time And Relative Dimi-”

HB glared at the girls, stopping Maud mid flow.

“Moonshine go make yourself useful and make some calming tea or something.” she grumbled. “The stray you’ve picked up is in shock!”

Maud shot off into the belly of the TARDIS with “Yes Miss Hardbroom.”

“You can’t keep calling the poor girl things like that!” CACKLE admonished. Mildred felt as if, even with no visible eyes, it was peering at her. Kindly at least. “…What is you name my dear? Maud called you ‘Millie’, is that correct?”

“I’m not calling her by Millie.” Miss Hardbroom insisted then addressed Mildred. “Haven’t you a proper name?”

Mildred was too stunned to speak. HB rolled her eyes and came around behind her; seizing her jumper by the scruff of her neck.

“Mildred Hubble.” The Time Witch read aloud from the sewn in name tag. with a sneer. She turned back to the console. “Fine. Welcome aboard Mildred Hubble. But you’re not staying! You’re here on a trial basis till I-”

“with our help.” The Cackle added.

“Till We Save your silly little planet.” HB finished but while still very grouchy when Hardbroom spoke again, her face and voice had gone all soft. “Once this is over, Mildred we’ll take you home to you mother. You’ll be safe here. Now. Hold on tight…”

(my fave ship is the tardis so allonsy!)

#worst witch #doctor who #tardis #hackle if you squint super hard maybe?#au #crossover #the worst witch #cakeeatingwingedcat #hecate hardbroom

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askthesixwives · 6 years

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👣{CoA - Wives' Club AU}

In a plane back to Spain with only a handbag to her.

Whatever happened to her?

#askthewives #catherine of aragon #track game #cakeeatingwingedcat

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ddagent · 6 years

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When the teachers talked about the annihilation spell and Hecate thought it was her fault that the school was partly destroyed someone (Ada!?) should have given/offered her a hug.

TBH it’s clear that Hecate wasn’t given nearly enough hugs during the Summer Break.

#I imagine she's got a lot of guilt #she was in charge of the school when Agatha ran it #tried her best but it wasn't always good enough #she's so desperate to get things back to normal #but things will never be normal again hecate #you have the love of your life back in your world view #and a mirror image of your younger self in your classroom #please someone give hecate a hug #ch: hecate hardbroom #tv: the worst witch #spoilers #cakeeatingwingedcat #question time

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bookshelfdreams · 2 years

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Thoughts on Stede reading The Hobbit (bonus: to the crew)?

Wish you a cool evening!

i'm gonna sue you for damages that's what i'm thinking

how dare you put this concept in my head

just imagine!! Everyone is captivated from the very first second. Pete pretends to think it's dumb - "What even is a hobbit", he mutters under his breath. What is a hobbit? Stede reads. I suppose Hobbits need some description nowadays. Pete is stunned into silence (and he too has loved it from the very first moment, actually, though he wouldn't admit it under threat of death).

Stede does all the voices. His Bilbo is closest to his own voice, polite and chipper, but passive aggression always at the ready, like a hidden knife. His Gandalf speaks with gravitas, deep in his chest (Ed likes that a lot). All of the dwarves are introduced with their own voices, from excited, youthful, near (but not quite) identical Fili and Kili, to gravely Balin, voice rough and heavy with age.

The first song Stede tries to avoid. He reads up to But the dwarves only started to sing and skips right to and everything was cleaned and put away safe as quick as lightning, but then Frenchie wonders out loud.

"What kinds of songs do dwarves sing, do you suppose?", he asks no one in particular.

"Must be bloody", Pete says.

"It's about dishwashing", Olu says dryly.

Ed leans over Stede's shoulder. "You could have just read it, mate", he says and Stede has never felt more betrayed. "It's right here!"

"What?" Frenchie shoots upright. "Read it then!"

Stede, who doesn't mind reciting poetry but is mortified by the thought of singing in front of an audience, knows resistance is futile. He gives a deep sigh.

Chip the glass and crack the plates, he starts, voice as flat as possible. Doesn't even take to the end of the second line for Wee John to start tapping out a rhythm against the deck with his palm. Frenchie has his lute in hand, plucking out a simple melody.

"Start again", he says and is already humming along. He gets Stede to read through the whole poem twice, and then he's got it.

Chip the glass and crack the plates, and it's bouncy, catchy, a bit like a shanty. A simple melody to keep hands working steady in the same rhythm. The Swede is adding a beautiful harmony.

That's what Bilbo Baggins hates! So carefully, carefully with the plates!, they all shout as one, grinning.

"Can we sing it one more time?", Fang asks.

They don't finish the chapter that evening.

The next morning, Stede approaches Frenchie and Wee John somewhat secretly. "There's another song right after the one from yesterday", he tells them, "in case you want to. You know. Not that you have to, of course."

Frenchie is delighted. The Swede is quickly recruited.

The Song of the Lonely Mountain may or may not bring tears to the eyes of a hardened pirate or two, you have no proof.

Everyone is intrigued by the map. Of course Stede has an edition with a nice big map folded up in the back of the book; they carefully take it out and put it on deck so everyone can see it. "What's that?" Ed asks and points at the runes.

"Wait and we will find out", Stede answers, and already knows he will tell Ed later, when the rest of the crew can't hear it, should he still want to know.

The dwarves get caught by trolls and Jim is distraught. "Don't go there one by one, you morons!" they yell, and Olu has to hold their hand discreetly until Gandalf shows up to save the day. Roach has some sympathy for the poor trolls, who have been subsisting on nothing but mutton, but draws a line at squashing the dwarves to eat them later without removing the guts first.

They make it to Rivendell and there is another improv song. Stede maybe hums along. Off key. But he's hardly the only one with no great singing voice.

The mystery of the runes is lifted.

"Moon letters?"

"Oh so it was invisible this whole time!"

Everyone is delighted to have known a secret before the characters did.

The Misty Mountains rise up under our heroes's feet. Far, far away in the West, where things were blue and faint, Bilbo knew there lay his own country of safe and comfortable things, and his little hobbit-hole, Stede reads. It stirs something in Ed, and even though this chapter has an even bigger adventure than the trolls (AND a song! A song that Roach will be heard singing under his breath for days, Clash, crash! Crush, smash! Hammer and tongs! Knocker and gongs!, and Lucius is not avoiding him, thank you very much)

Even though there is plenty else going on, that line still sticks in Ed's head. "Do you miss home, sometimes?" he asks Stede as they lay down for the night.

"Oh my love", Stede says, wrapped up in Ed's arms, with Ed's head pillowed on his chest, "I am home."

They meet Gollum next.

What has roots as nobody sees / Is taller than trees / Up, up it goes / And yet, never grows?

"A cathedral, obviously", Wee John shouts, before Stede can read on.

"Shut up, they don't have cathedrals", Pete says. "Do they?"

"Tall building, anyway", Frenchie backs Wee John up.

"Could be something else", the Swede muses.

"Like what?"

"No he's right", Roach says, "Building is too easy. It's um. A hot air balloon? No roots, it goes up but doesn't grow, does it?"

That earns him a round of impressed nods and agreeing hums. The actual answer - Mountain, I suppose! - is widely seen as anticlimactic.

Stede hisses and croaks as he speaks with Gollum's voice and that placates the crew somewhat. It must have a competition with us, my preciouss, he reads and dredges the sounds out of the back of his throat, speaks with his tongue between his teeth until he truly sounds like a creature that lives in dark, cold waters, eats raw fish and hasn't talked to anyone in centuries.

Every riddle is followed by debates and every member of the crew offers up their own best riddles for the others to solve. It takes three evenings to get through the chapter. It's just as well; Stede fears Gollum's voice might tear his throat to ribbons. It's worth it though.

They make it out of the goblin labyrinths eventually. They meet Beorn and giant eagles and an elven king. They fight wargs, and spiders, and spend a night adrift in a river, clinging to a barrel.

It's a fantastic story. The dragon is terrifying; the hoard everything any of them have ever dreamed of. The attack on Laketown, and finally the Battle of Five armies, has more than one of them hold tightly onto someone's hand.

Opinions on the ending are divided.

"How can he just go home?", Frenchie says, offended. "After everything they've been through together!"

"He misses it", Olu says. "Must be nice, I think. To know there's a home for you to return to."

"Bullshit", Jim says, shifting inconspicuously, so they're sitting just a tiny bit closer to him. "Home can be anywhere. Home is where your - y'know." They do not blush.

"But Thorin died", Lucius says. "It wouldn't be the same without him, would it? Maybe he needs to go back so he isn't always reminded of him."

"That's so deep, babe."

"Thanks babe."

Stede reads the last poem and nobody tries to sing.

It's quiet when he finishes. Wee John sniffles, but only a little.

Luckily, there's that whole business with the auction and Bilbo being declared dead so they end on a high note.

The next evening, Stede tries to bring a different book, but nobody will hear it.

"Read it again!"

Stede protests, but only a little.

"C'me on", Ed says, "they love it. Please?"

Really, there never was a choice.

In a hole in the ground, there lived a hobbit.

#i'm joking about the sueing. thank you so much. didnt expect this to turn so long but its what it is #you have a lovely day/evening too depending on when you read this!#cakeeatingwingedcat #message #our flag means death #tolkien #i wrote a thing #oh yeah ed can read & thats a hill im wiling to die on thanks

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germanysnexttopgedicht · 8 months

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Hi, hat sich schon jemand "Der tugendhafte Hund" von Heine gewünscht? Falls nicht, sei der Wunsch hiermit eingereicht.

Wunsch erfüllt :)

#und das mir als erklärtem hundehasser XD aber ich finds großartig #cakeeatingwingedcat #fragen

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books-and-cookies · 7 years

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Hi, I love your blog and especially your comments on the HP books, so FMK: DADA-teachers. Wish you a nice evening!

why do you torture me today

Marry LupinFuck.... fuck um... Moody? but like, a younger version?Kill THE PINK TERROR

Huuugs!

#fun and games #ask me thingssss #cakeeatingwingedcat #mary answers stuff

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room-on-broom · 5 years

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Hi, here's a kiwi for you :)

kiwi: what’s something that fascinates you?

science- ive no idea whats occuring 90% of the time but love the christmas leatures

Thank you!

#cakeeatingwingedcat

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askthesixwives · 6 years

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Hi, how would (Wives' Club AU) CoA rate Anne Boleyn?

Anne: “Be kind to me, will you, Cat?”

Catherine, pushing the woman away: “Out, Anne, this is ask is mine.”

***

Would i kiss them?

Heck yeah! | Yes! | Sure. | Depends. | Eh.. |No. | Heck no!

Would i date them?

Heck yeah! | Yes! | Sure. | Depends. | Eh.. | No. | Heck no!

Are they important to me?

How far would i go for them?

Would i help them in their time of need?

Heck yeah! | Yes. | Sure. | Depends. | Eh.. | No! | Heck no!

#askthewives #rate them game #catherine of aragon #anne boleyn #cakeeatingwingedcat

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bonnissance · 6 years

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@ladyjanesfelsham replied to your post “cassiopeiasara replied to your post “well that rendition of...”

Is that not generally what happens though? I mean Ethel is a super sized pain in Mildred’s ass, but she doesn’t hurt her. In my childhood experience, this is very much in the vein of how adults react to this sort of beef between kids.

yes, it’s a realistic depiction of how bully is often handled by adults. that’s why it’s dangerous.

it’s conditioning children to expect to be mistreated, ignored, and gas lit. that their only option to avoid bullying is to befriend someone who hates them. To be friends w ppl who are willing to hurt them, mentally and physically. bc Ethel has, on several occasions, intentionally physically harmed Mildred in addition to the near constant bullying and resulting emotional strain. and Ethel’s behaviour has barely been acknowledged, let rectified in any way.

it’s teaching children to expect to be hurt, and to downgrade the experiences of children who suspect that they’re being abused and bullied to say nothing bc it’s nothing, really, nothing’s really wrong with how their being treating and they shouldn’t make a fuss. bc even if they say something, no one is listening.

all media carries conditioned ideas and biases bc that’s how an organic society functions: it maintains its own existence by convincing its citizens that existing status quos are necessary for a functioning and ideally prosperous future. It’s why progresses towards equality are slow and gradual, bc a living organism can only do so much growing at once before it needs to take a break, settling itself, and refuel.

this show is no different. often, it holds what society regards as positive traits up as ideals to encourage children to care about kindness, and friendship, and working hard to become something productive. but it also replicates harmful real world standards: incompetent or uncaring adults neglecting their responsibilities, abuses of power, and the apparently inevitability of being bullied as a child and no one caring bc ‘it’s not bad enough.’

bc, of course, it could be worse, couldn’t it? just like every trauma sufferer thinks about the damage caused to them, no matter how quantifiable and objectively serious the harm.

narratives have purposes. primarily to entertain. but children-focused narrative have always been used to teach lessons, or give advice, and show children what society will look like when they grow up and how they should grow up into it. and as @fanchonmoreau points out, “kids will take what they’re given.” they’re not in the habit of critically engaging w media, or anything else for that matter, in the way that adults can, and on occasion, actually do.

to include a standard as potentially dangerous as inevitable bullying and a lack of care from adults, and impress it upon 10yos for the sake of a poorly executed plot device is negligent. this, along w the fact that the show carries no obvious acknowledgement of the bias incorporated into the narrative logic, means that the series is currently doing nothing to counteract it. bc there is no explicit awareness of what the show is, at the heart of it, actually saying about these issues.

As a result, it’s asserting a status quo that only benefits bullies and abusers by insisting on the silence of their targets. and that’s what the young audiences watching will grow up thinking is normal. so yes, it’s what generally happens. and that’s the problem.

bc it doesn’t need to be. As @cakeeatingwingedcat "Miss Cackle can do better than that,” and so can the series.

#tw: mentions of abuse #trauma cw #cw:#emotional abuse #bullying #idk now the blacklisting system works anymore so the tags are inconsistant sorry #*how #ladyjanesfelsham #fanchonmoreau #cakeeatingwingedcat #conversing #the worst witch spoilers #TWW2017 #tww2k17+

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