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lucisfavoritedemon · 3 years

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Waiting For Forever Chapter 10

Pairing: Bucky x reader, Sam x platonic!reader

Summary: You met Bucky for a brief second at a fair him and Steve attended. Little did you know you would run into him again as you assist Peggy with Steve. There was just something about the sadness in Bucky’s eyes that night that captured your soul, and he was all you could think about. You have a secret though. You aren’t exactly who he thinks you are. This is a story of love, loss, and overcoming any obstacle thrown your way.

Warnings: fluff, slight angst, Bucky being the cutest dad ever, cursing, reader really despising Walker, violence, talks of sexual actions

Word Count: 6467

A/N: This is my thoughts on what happens to reader During The Falcon and The Winter Soldier: Episode Four (roughly). It is not 100% accurate, but I wanted to put a little twist to it. This gives you a glimpse at how the reader and Bucky are balancing work life and keeping their relationship some what professional. I added in some 3rd person POV to get insight on what Bucky’s thoughts are in a certain part. That will be in italics. It is kind of a long one, but there was a lot of detail I wanted to add. There also is something mentioned that I may consider doing a What If...? twist with. Y’all let me know what you think, would that be something you’d be interested in? All mistakes are mine. TFATWS SPOILERS!!!!!

Enjoy!

Of course that’s what Ayo wanted. I didn’t blame her either, Zemo killed their king. Of course Bucky and Sam just had to break him out of jail, and here we are about to feel the wrath of the Wakandans.

“Why did you free Zemo?”

“We need him.” Bucky responded.

“In all honesty, I agree with you Ayo. I wish he would have left well enough alone.”

“We freed you of everything that went back to the Winter Soldier.”

“And I’m grateful for that.”

“Have you forgotten that he killed King T’Chaka at the U.N.?”

“Of course not.”

“My people, those men put me in charge of watching over him, protecting him.”

“I understand that.”

“Maybe we should give him back to them.” Bucky starts to speak Wakandan, “he’s a means to an end.”

I roll my eyes at this. This was absolutely unbelievable, I agreed that Zemo needed to go back. He was going to stop at nothing till he had manipulated us into letting him go free. It would be an endless cycle, a loop that never ended.

“You have 8 hours. Then we come for Zemo.”

Ayo walked away. She didn’t look happy at all, and frankly, I didn’t blame her. I turned around and started heading back to the place Zemo had for us to stay. Bucky grabbed my wrist making me face him. He gave this pleading look, and I knew he was either asking for forgiveness, or to talk.

“I understand your frustration. I do. He’s the last chance we have at finding Karli. Once we’re done, I’ll give him back to the Wakandans. They can do what they will with him.”

“I don’t need you to explain your reasoning. I just knew having Zemo around was a bad idea.”

“I get that. I just need you to trust me. When we’re done with him, I’ll give him back to them.”

“Fine. I’m giving you 6 hours. They’re a little more generous than I am.”

“Fine.”

We walked back to the house in silence. I hated being the bad guy in this, but I believe someone had to be. We walked back in as Zemo stepped out of the bathroom, presumably after a shower. I went and sat down on the couch as Bucky walked to the island in the kitchen. He glanced down at his phone, and his face went sour.

“What’s wrong Buck?” I asked, concerned.

“Karli blew up one of the GRC warehouses. 11 injured, 3 dead.”

“It seems I may be the only one here who is brave enough to finish this mission.”

“We aren’t going to kill her.” Sam stated.

“If it came to that, would you be strong enough to do it?”

“No one is killing anyone, besides me killing you Zemo.” I glared in his direction.

“It’s people with her ideals that have formed the Nazis, Ultron, the Avengers.”

“Those are our friends you’re talking about.” Sam snapped.

“The Avengers, not the Nazis.” Bucky added, for clarification of course.

Zemo started to go on about supremacy, and how Karli is a supremacist. Then he started to talk about super soldiers, and it really got my blood boiling.

“What about Steve?”

“There has yet to be another Steve Rodgers.”

“You wanna know why that is Zemo?” I looked at him seriously this time.

“Why would that be?”

“Because Erskine hand picked Steve. All he ever wanted was to prove to the world that the person who is the most underestimated, can come out on top. It’s why so many people looked up to him. He was part of the minority group. He wasn’t meant to be a good soldier, but a good man.”

I looked away from the group as I recall Erskine's huge speech to Steve. He always knew exactly what to say to people. It’s how he gained my trust so quickly. He treated me like his own flesh and blood when others wanted to use me for my powers. He protected me from Schmidt in Germany before we moved to America, and he continued to do so even after his death.

“When I was young my TT passed away.” Sam started.

“Your, your TT?” Bucky interrupted

"Yeah, my TT."

"Wh-who is your TT?" Bucky questioned, sounding a little annoyed and confused.

“Okay when I was younger, my aunt passed away. The whole community came together. It was a week long thing. Maybe they’re doing the same thing for Donya Madani.”

“That’s actually not a bad thought. A lot of cultures do it.” I agreed.

Zemo goes to one of the cupboards and grabs a container, dumping it out, and tossing something from it to Sam. “Turkish Delight. Irresistible.”

We all decided to go and ask around to see if we could figure out whether we could find out where her funeral was. Zemo of course started to go off about how so much has changed since he was younger. We decided to split up, I was with Sam, and Bucky got stuck with Zemo.

Sam and I walked up to the upper level, and began to ask around. Everyone ran away from us though, and didn’t want to speak with us. They all looked scared and very weary. We walked into a room where it looked like a lesson was taking place.

“We’re looking for Donya Madani, she was a refugee here.” Sam spoke up.

“We are not refugees. We have nothing to seek refuge from. We are just displaced people. We don’t trust outsiders.”

“We want to help out.”

“We have heard that so many times. People have promised more teachers, supplies. That was 6 months ago.”

I was starting to understand Karli better. Before Erskine I was alone in a world that didn’t care about me. Erskine was the person who took me in and gave me food and shelter. He was the only person who seemed to care. So, I guess I could understand Karli a bit better.

“What’s your name, I can make a few calls.” Sam tried to fight.

“I know who you are, but I don’t trust you. I’m sorry.” The man picks up a child and walks off.

“Well that didn’t go to plan.” “No, but it gave us a better idea as to why Karli is doing what she’s doing. Her people are suffering because the government won’t meet their needs. Her cause is good, but the way she is going about it is wrong.”

“Then we need to find Donya and find Karli. The sooner we can get her to stop this the better off we’ll be.”

“The thing is Sam, I don’t think we’ll be able to. Her ideals, they are just too strong to stop. Not without going into war that is. Trust me. I know how this ends, and it ends in bloodshed, as much as I hate to admit it.”

Sam nods in agreement as we walk down to meet up with the other two. As we approach we notice Zemo talking to a group of kids. I notice the Turkish Delight laid out on a little stool. I notice a little girl walk up to him, and whisper in his ear.

“What is he doing?” Sam asked.

“I have no idea.” Bucky responded.

“This is why I’m going to be a helicopter parent when we get home.” I add in, watching with a look of shock and horror on my face.

Zemo walks back over to us, and we all head back to his place. He was keeping us in the dark about something, and I did not like this one bit. Once back at the house, we settled in and started to question Zemo.

“That little girl, what did she tell you?” Sam questioned first.

“The funeral is this afternoon.”

“Where is it?” I asked, hoping he would tell us.

“That is classified.”

“Of course it is. No matter, wherever it is, I want to talk to Karli.”

“Absolutely not.” Bucky protested.

“I’m going with you Y/N.” Sam stated.

“Fine with me, but I feel like maybe talking to someone who knows exactly what she is going through may help her.”

“And you think you can stop her?” Zemo almost laughed.

“I’ve been in her shoes. I know what it’s like to feel all alone. To want the world to pay attention to the minority. I used to be her.”

“But you’re not.” Bucky added.

“Not anymore, but had Erskine not found me when he did, I could have ended up exactly like her.”

“I don’t think you’re going to convince her.” Zemo butted in.

“I don’t care, if I even make her question whether this is the right thing, then I’ve done something right.”

“You know the Dora will be here for you any minute, so keep talking.” Bucky threatened.

“What, so you can turn me over? I prefer to keep my leverage.” Zemo retorts.

Bucky stands up quickly, grabs the cup Zemo is holding, and throws it at the wall, “you wanna see what someone can do with leverage?”

“Bucky, calm down. It’s okay.” I say walking over to him.

“I’m going to make a call.” Sam said walking off.

I went and sat back down on the couch. I pulled Bucky over to sit next to me to get him to calm down so he didn't kill Zemo. I wanted to bring up the fact it was his idea to break Zemo out of prison.

“Have you checked in on Jamie?” Bucky asked as I ran my fingers through his hair.

“I haven't. I didn't want to, not with mister creeper around.”

Bucky chuckled some, "that's fair. I just worry about him without us around. D-does he have any powers or weird abilities?”

“He's started to develop some, but that all comes from my side. You'd be surprised how much he reminds me a lot of Steve, but he really is just like you. He has your charm and Steve's spirit. God, that boy is going to be a lady killer.” I giggle some.

Bucky smiles at me, but it fades fast, "I hope nobody has teased him about who his dad is. I hope they don't ruin the picture you've painted of me in his mind.”

“I hope not either, but if that does happen, we'll handle it. Together, I fear nothing as long as we do it together, as a family.” I squeezed Bucky's hand tightly. He was part of my family now. He was the father of my child, and I wouldn't have had it any other way.

Bucky squeezed my hand back, “as a family.” He smiled, and my heart skipped a beat when those words came out of his mouth.

“Okay you two love birds, let's get going.” Sam said, interrupting our moment.

Bucky and I stood up, and we walked out heading to the celebration of life for Donya Madani. Bucky took my hand, intertwining our fingers. The metal felt nice and cool against my hand, and I was relishing in the fact that he felt comfortable with me holding his metal hand.

“Karli Morgenthau is too dangerous for you guys to be pulling this shit.” John Walker spoke as he and his sidekick walked towards us.

“Ah! How'd you find us now?” Bucky sounded annoyed and pissed.

“Come on, man. You really think two Avengers can walk around Latvia without drawing attention?” Battlestar spoke up.

“No more keeping us in the dark. You could start by telling us why you broke him out of prison.” Walker demanded.

“He did that himself technically.” Bucky said, making me roll my eyes.

“This better be an unbelievable explana…”

“Hey! Take it easy before it gets weird.” Sam said, breaking things up between Walker and Bucky.

“I know where Karlie is.” Zemo announced.

“Well, where?”

“All we know is that it's a memorial.’

“So we're going to intercept her there.” Sam stated trying to stop Walker from following us.

“That means civilians, high risk of casualties.” Battlestar stated.

“Alright, good, we'll move in fast.” Walker ordered, moving around Sam.

“No. Sam and I are going to talk to her, civilly. I'm not sure if you know what that means, do you want me to give you the definition?”

“We want to talk to her alone.”

“Don't be smart with me bitch!”

“What did you call me!?” I went to charge him, but Bucky grabbed my arm to stop me.

“I'm not losing her again!” Walker shouted.

“Look, the person closest to her died, she's vulnerable. If there's any time to reason with her, it's now.”

“What? No, no! No, no, no, stop!” Walker tried to get us to stop walking.

“I know you think you can't reason with people like her, Walker, but I used to be in her shoes. I know what it's like to feel like the world doesn't care about you. I was that girl almost 90 years ago. Abraham was my Donya, and I lost him. If anything, she needs someone who knows what it's like, not someone who got handed everything.” I attempted to walk around him, but he shoved me back.

“I think we're way past reasoning with her, unless you forgot the fact that she blew up a building with people still in it.”

“You two walk in there cold, she could kill you.”

“If we go in hot, and the op goes wrong, more people could die." Sam tried to reason.

“I believe that Sam and I can reason with her.” I tried to explain.

“You're gonna let them do this?” Walker turned to Bucky.

Bucky had a look of confidence and confusion. I know he hated the thought of me going in there, but he also knew I was right. He knew Sam and I both had a good chance of convincing her to stand down.

“You're going to let your partners walk into a room with a super soldier alone?" Walker tried to contort his thoughts into not letting me walk in.

I locked eyes with Bucky, begging him to not listen to Walker. That he wasn't the voice of reason, that I was. I begged him to trust me with this mission, that I could do this. I knew I could defend myself if it came to that, so could Sam. I could see the war going on in his head though, and I was almost convinced he was going to pull me out.

“They've dealt with worse. And Sam isn't my partner.” Bucky responded, and I breathed a sigh of relief.

“I used to counsel soldiers dealing with trauma, okay? This is right in my wheelhouse.” Sam tried to convince Walker more.

“Yeah, I know. And I know those soldiers, which is why I believe this is a bad idea.”

“Wait, John. If they can talk her down it might be worth a try.”

Walker scoffs, “fine," he turns to Zemo, "we'll deal with you later.”

“I'm sure you all will come to an agreeable conclusion. My associate is just up ahead.” Zemo gestures to a little girl and we start walking again, “hello my friend,” he pulls some money out of his pocket, “this is for your family. Can you show us the way?”

The little girl nods and starts walking ahead. I looked to Bucky, reminding him this is why I haven't called to check up on Jamie with Zemo around.

“What the hell?”

“For once I agree with you.” I mumble to myself, staying close to Bucky.

The little girl leads us to what appears to be the back entrance to where this gathering is happening. She stops, opens the door and nods. She starts to walk in gesturing us to follow her.

“This is the place.” Zemo stated.

Sam and I get in front of the group, and go to follow the little girl. Walker grabs Zemo quickly, and I thought a fight was going to break out. Walker cuffs Zemo to a boiler looking thing, and pins him there.

“You two have 10 minutes, then we’re doing things my way.” Walker states.

Sam and I rush in to find time for us to talk to Karli before Walker can get to her. As we walk around, we notice the building we’re in is two levels. Sam and I watch Karli’s speech from the upper level. Hearing her talk about Donya reminded me a lot of how I would have talked about Dr. Erskine. The more she talked, the more I felt connected to her.

After everyone left, Sam and I decided to go down, and talk with her. I had a feeling this was gonna be both easy and challenging. I had faith that we were going to be able to talk her down. I was confident Sam felt the exact same way I did.

“I saw you two back there.” Karli spoke, her back turned to us.

“We came alone.” Sam spoke.

“We just want to talk, Karli.” I tried to speak as softly as I could to her, I didn’t want to scare her off, and blow our chance.

“We’re sorry for your loss.” Sam spoke genuinely.

“Don’t condescend to me, I’m not a child.”

“We’re not condescending. I know what it’s like to lose some, believe me.”

“No you don’t, not like this.”

“I do.” I spoke up.

Karli turned to me, then looked at Sam. I wanted her to know I had once come from where she is. I knew what it was like to be someone the government mistreated. I had to get those words out. Maybe then she would stop all this, and everything could go back to normal. No more people would get hurt.

“It doesn’t have to be a war, Karli.”

“They started a war as soon as they kicked us out of our homes and onto the streets. People all around the world need me. Millions of them.”

“We can’t speak for millions, but we understand you, Y/n especially. She came from the same situation you’re facing right now.” Sam mentioned. He had to say anything to gain her attention.

“I understand your frustration, and I understand your helplessness.” I interjected.

Karli stood there for a second before she finally spoke, “so you want me to stop because people are gettin’ hurt, right? But what if I’m making the world a better place?”

“It’s not a better place if you’re killing people, it’s just different.”

“I used to think that fighting back was the only thing, the only way you could get people to listen.”

“You both are either brilliant, or just hopelessly optimistic.” Karli smiles.

“Can’t we be a little bit of both?” Sam chuckled.

“No.”

“Y/n, she knows more about Super Soldiers than anyone on this planet. She was Erskine’s protégé back in the 1930s and 40s."

"It's true. Erskine was my Donya. He saved me from the streets of Germany. He gave me a home, clothes, and food. Everything I could have needed. When things got bad in Germany, he smuggled me away to America. He only wanted what was best for me. I fought back against those who killed him, but I also rebelled against the government back in Germany. Trust me, it got me nowhere fast. It changed nothing, loads of people still died, and I didn’t help.”

“This guy we know who knows a lot about Super Soldiers too, he says you’re a supremacist.”

“Me?” Karli asked as Sam went to sit next to her.

“Yeah.” Sam responded.

“That’s ridiculous. Everything I do is to end supremacy. These corporations and the beasts who run them, they’re the supremacists.”

“So, let us ask you, you have more serum right?” Sam asked, standing up.

“So?”

“Are you going to increase your army? You’re killin’ innocent people.”

“They’re not innocent. They’re roadblocks in my journey, and I’d kill them again if I had to.”

“Wow.” Sam and I were both shocked at what just came out of her mouth.

“No, no I didn’t mean it like that. You tricked me into sounding like…”

“Like what?”

“The people I’m fightin’ are trying to take your home, Sam. Why are you here instead of stopping them?”

“You know, my sister is waiting for that exact same answer.”

“We’re not your enemy, Karli. We agree with your fight.”

“We just can’t get with the way you’re fightin’ it.”

“And I’m sure she wouldn’t either.” I look at Donya, hoping Karli would agree.

Meanwhile:

“No, no, no, no. This is a bad idea.” Walker started speaking aggressively as he paced the small room.

“It hasn’t been 10 minutes, John. Just sit tight.” Bucky spoke up as he leaned against the door frame. He wanted to block the way to give Sam and Y/n time to talk to Karli, though Walker was convinced it was already taking too long.

“Don’t do that. Don’t patronize me.”

“They know what they’re doing, especially Y/n. She’s done this dance before. Give them the time.” Bucky kept trying to convince him.

Bucky couldn’t tell at what point he was convincing John, or still convincing himself. He trusted Y/n and Sam, he knew in his head they could do it. His heart was the one screaming at him to just let John go after them. All Bucky wanted was his girl safe, that’s it.

“I’m goin’ in.” Walker started walking quickly towards the doorway.

Bucky immediately stopped him. If anything, now he was going to risk their lives rather than save them. That was something Bucky couldn’t have. His girl was in there with someone who could easily kill them, and he didn’t want that.

“This is all really easy for you isn't it? All that serum runnin’ through your veins. Barnes, your partners need backup in there. You really want their blood on your hands?”

Bucky is lost for words. He was staring at John to intimidate him, but now, he was frozen in fear. John knew just what to say to get Bucky to do as he said. The last thing he wanted to do was be the reason for Y/n’s death. That was his biggest fear, to come home to their son without his mom.

“Karli Morgenthau, you’re under arrest.” Walker announced, walking in.

Karli looked between Sam and I. This son of a bitch just ruined any chance we had of getting her to back down. From the looks of it, Bucky didn’t put up a fight either.

“So this is what that was?”

“Karli wait…” I stepped closer to her, I needed her to see where this could end. Her fight was going to lead to devastation, and this asshole Walker just ruined everything.

“Tricking me till your backup arrived?” Karli backed away.

“We had enough time to talk.”

By now Bucky and Walker’s partner in crime had walked in. Bucky was trying to get to Walker, but his buddy wouldn’t let him get close. Karli started yelling, and John was trying to grab her. Chaos had broken out in just a few short seconds. It took all I had not to knock Walker on his ass right then and there.

Karli pushed John into a table before taking off. Bucky had shoved the sidekick back, and started going after her. I followed suit hoping I could touch Karli, just so she could feel that I was telling the truth.

We were stopped by a whole group of her allies and fights started breaking out, but I continued to follow her. She was my target, my mission, and I couldn’t let her get away. I didn’t get far though when I met back up with Sam and Bucky.

“I lost her.” Bucky announced.

“I swear to god, next time I see Walker’s face, I’m gonna kill him! Why the hell did you let him get through!” I charged at Bucky.

“Y/n, wait a minute! We don’t know that Bucky let him through.” Sam tried to reason.

“Walker didn’t have a damn scratch on him. If Bucky fought back, he would have been on the ground in 2 seconds flat.”

Bucky stayed quiet because he knew I was right. I was so frustrated that we got so close, and now we are right back to where we started. I was so angry I punched one of the walls in the room we were in.

“Y/n, doll, calm down.”

“No! Because Walker got in, people are going to die. You could have prevented that if you just put up a fight.”

“Are you saying that blood is going to be on my hands?”

“Well you certainly aren’t helping your case here.”

“Y/n! Knock it off. I get you’re frustrated, but take a walk before you say something you can’t take back.” Sam yelled.

I knew he was right. I was about to tell Bucky that the blood of everyone who could die at Karli’s hands was going to be because of him. He already struggles enough with that. I stood there and took a deep breath in to calm myself as Bucky started talking.

“You wanna know what really happened back there? He used you against me. Saying if Karli turned on you, your blood would be on my hands. That would be something I couldn’t live with knowing.”

“Walker plays mind games huh? I’m really gonna kill him this time. So, I suggest you keep us as far apart as possible.”

We started to walk around to see if we could find Walker, when Bucky pulled me aside. I was shocked at how aggressively he grabbed me, but was even more shocked when a rough kiss was what I was met with rather than yelling. I wrapped my arms around his neck pulling him closer to me. After a few seconds he pulled away.

“The last thing I want to do is lose you. I’m sorry I let John get past me like that, but…”

“Hey, it’s okay. I’m not mad at you. I’m frustrated at the situation. Had John not got between Karli and I, I would have been able to show her I wasn’t lying. That Sam and I were really there to show her we agree with her ideals. That I once was just like her. That Erskine was my Donya.”

“I’m glad he rescued you. He brought you to me.”

I giggle, “don’t get sappy on me Buck. I could have easily ended up in a completely different scenario. I could have ended up as Schmidt’s protégé.”

“We would have never met then. I wouldn’t know where I would be without you.”

“Okay, come on lover boy. Let’s get back before Sam gets worried we ran out on him or something.”

We ran to catch up with Sam who had found a door leading to a staircase. We ran in, and saw Walker with a knocked out Zemo on the ground. Walker’s sidekick came running in a few seconds behind us. We looked at each other, then back to Walker. I felt Bucky grab my arm to let me know not to murder him here, no matter how badly I wanted to.

‘What did we miss?” Sam asked, hoping someone could explain the passed out Zemo.

No one said a word as Bucky walked down and picked Zemo up. We walked off back to his place leaving Walker behind. I was so glad Bucky and Sam were there to stop me because I really just wanted to knock Walker out.

When we got into the house, Bucky laid Zemo on the couch. Then, Bucky grabbed my arm and dragged me to one of the bedrooms, slamming the door shut. I was shocked at his bold moves, but I knew we couldn’t do anything with these thin walls, and Sam sitting in the other room.

When Walker played mind games with him, it unlocked something in Bucky. A side I had not seen in a very long time, a side of him I hadn’t seen since the war. Bucky pulled me close after shrugging off his jacket, kissing me passionately, his hands trailing my body. He attempted to start to undress me before I pulled away slowly.

“Everything okay, doll?”

“Not here Bucky. Not when it’s so quiet.”

“You said when we got a vacation.”

“Not with Sam on the other side of the door. He’ll hear everything. I promise, I will find us some alone time, but not right now.”

“Okay,” Bucky grabbed his jacket, putting it back on, “I’m going out for a walk. I’ll be back.” He kissed me gently before walking out.

I sat in the room trying to gather my own thoughts as to what just happened. I started hearing talking from the living room. Zemo was awake now, and he was asking Sam about being offered the super soldier serum. He then asked Sam if he would ever take it. I started to think about Bucky, how he never got the choice. He was a lab rat for HYDRA, and didn’t get a say on the matter.

“Super Soldiers should be allowed to exist.” Zemo spoke.

“Isn’t that how gods talk? And if that’s how you feel, what about Bucky?”

“You know Zemo, Bucky didn’t get a choice,” I could feel the tears already coming, “and if that’s how you think, then Erskine should have been thrown in jail before he was able to give Steve the serum. Let HYDRA and the Nazis control the world.” I could feel my voice crack.

Right on queue Bucky walked through the doors, “something’s not right about Walker.” He announced.

“You don’t say.”

“Well, I know crazy when I see one because I am crazy.”

“Can’t argue with that.”

“Sam!” I glare at him, and he puts his hands up in defense.

“You shouldn’t have given him the shield.” Bucky stated, pouring himself a drink.

“I didn’t give him the shield.” Sam protested.

“Here we go again.” I roll my eyes.

“Well Steve definitely didn’t.” Bucky looks at Sam as he takes a drink.

Suddenly the doors burst open, “All right that’s it let’s go. I’m ordering you to turn him over.”

“Oh Walker, I've been waiting for you to walk through those doors.” I walk over to him ready to fight.

“I’m flattered, sweetheart, but Lemar is the one interested in you.”

“Hey, just slow your roll,” Sam said, getting between Walker, and me and Zemo, “let’s be clear, shield or no shield, the only thing you’re runnin’ in here is your mouth. Now, we had Karli there, and you overstepped. He’s actually proven himself useful today. We’re gonna need all hands on deck for whatever’s comin’ next.”

“How do you want the rest of this conversation to go, huh?”

“I know how I want it to go.” I raise my hand. Sam glares at me and I put it down.

“Should I put down the shield? Make it fair?”

“Oh yeah, bring it Walker.” I say gathering all my strength to knock him out in one shot.

Walker puts the shield up against one of the columns, but as he goes to stand up, a spear aims right for his head. Too bad he moved out of the way quickly. Then the other two walked in and started speaking Wakandan to Bucky and I.

“Even if he is a means to your end. Time’s up,” Ayo starts speaking English, “release him to us now.”

“More than happy to Ayo. Was willing to when we met up the first time.”

“Hi, John Walker, Captain America.” John reached his hand out to shake Ayo’s, and all I could do was laugh. “Well, let’s, uh, put down the pointy sticks and we can talk this through, huh?”

“Hey John, take it easy,” Sam smiled to himself, “you might want to fight Bucky before you tangle with the Dora Milaje.”

“Hear how he said Bucky, and not me. I’m just as tough to fight as the Dora. They may be a little harder than me, by a little.” I said, kind of bragging.

“The Dora Milaje don’t have jurisdiction here…”

“The Dora Milaje have jurisdiction wherever the Dora Milaje find themselves to be.” Ayo spoke, sounding very annoyed, and very angry.

“Okay, look I think we may have gotten off on the wrong foot…” Walker put his hand on Ayo’s shoulder, and the fight broke out.

I couldn’t help, but sit on the counter to watch. This was better than I thought. Walker kept trying to fight back, but they kept putting him on his ass.

“We should do something.” Sam tried to reason with Bucky.

Bucky crossed his arms, “looking strong John.”

“Bucky…” Sam warned.

He rolled his eyes, and stopped Ayo from stabbing Walker, “Ayo, let’s talk about this.”

I happened to look over my shoulder as Zemo slipped into the bathroom. I shot up from my spot, and ran to the door, “don’t you dare, Zemo!” I banged on the door. I tried to open it, but he had locked it. I used the force of the wind to knock it open, but he had already slipped into the sewer system.

I turn around as I hear the action from behind me stop, “I’m sorry Ayo. I tried to stop him as soon as I saw what he was doing.” She placed a hand on my shoulder before standing back up. I turned around to see Bucky’s arm on the floor as the Dora headed out.

“Did you know they could do that?” Sam asked as Bucky went to pick up his arm to put it back on.

“No.” Bucky swung his arm around once it was back in place.

Bucky and Sam walked over to the opened sewer drain, “I can’t believe he pulled an El Chapo.” Sam gazed down.

“I can.” Bucky said, annoyed, “come on.” Bucky started to walk out.

We wander the streets for a bit. Sam’s phone starts going off, and he picks it up quickly. Whoever is on the other end sounds panicked. By how quickly Sam is answering them, it’s pretty concerning to Bucky and I.

“”Pack an overnight bag, take the boys somewhere.”

“What’s going on?” Bucky asked, concerned.

Sam pulls the phone from his ear for a second, “Karli called my sister. She threatened my nephews,” he goes back to talking to Sarah, “wherever you go only pay cash. Let me know when you get there. I love you. You know I would never let anything happen to you or the boys. I’ll talk to you soon.”

I begin to panic about Jamie, and I can tell the same fear has rushed over Bucky. “I’ll call Miranda once we meet with Karli.”

“Maybe you should check on him now.” Bucky sounded worried, and I nodded.

Just as I went to call Miranda I got a text from her, “she just texted me saying that she is taking Jamie somewhere. She got a call, probably similar to Sarah.”

“Tell her to contact Sarah and meet up. That way they’re together, and safe.” Sam suggested.

“I agree.” I sent the sitter a text with Sarah’s contact information, and told her to stay with them till we get state side.

At that point Sam got a message with the coordinates we were to meet Karli, “she said come alone.”

“I’m going with you.” Bucky stated, rubbing my back to soothe me.

I nodded in agreement as we headed to suit up. We then headed to where Karli asked us to meet. It was in the same area where the gathering for Madani was, which made it easy for us I guess. We knew if she took off though, we wouldn’t be able to find her again.

“Karli!” Sam yelled, announcing our presence. She then peeked her head out, and we ascended the stairs nearby.

“You called my sister, and her babysitter. Is that how we’re going to play this?” Sam asked, angry as hell.

“I would never hurt them. I just wanted to understand the two of you better,” she looks over, seeing Bucky, “I see you, um, didn’t come alone.”

“You have to end this now.”

“I don’t want to hurt you, either of you. You both are tools in the regimes I want to destroy. You’re not hiding behind a shield.” Karli started.

“Yeah Walker doesn’t exactly know how to properly fight it seems.” I chuckled, earring me a glare from Sam.

“If I were to kill you, it’d be meaningless. I was going to ask you to join me. Or do the world a favor and let me go.” Karli continued, practically begging.

Sam then looked down at his arm piece. He seemed to zoom in as panic sunk in his face. He then looked up and over to Bucky, “it’s Walker.”

Bucky jumped down, but Karli followed, and knocked him into a column. Sam and I jumped down after, so Karli didn’t hurt him. I ran over to help Bucky up as Sam and Karli fought. Once Bucky was on his feet, I helped Sam out by knocking her into one of the columns behind her.

“I’ll send you the two of you the coordinates, go.” Sam ordered before taking off.

Bucky and I took off after Karli. We chased her through the streets before she dipped back into the building. We went to head up the stairs, but Bucky was knocked down by one of the Flagsmashers. Bucky shoved them down the stairs, but they got right back up. He then kicked them into a wall, and they fell through.

We went back to chasing up the stairs after her. At the top of the stairs there was a doorway that led to a huge room. Sam and Walker were fighting off Flagsmashers left and right. I groaned knowing we had to help Walker. Bucky ran up and punched one in the face that was about to take Sam out from behind.

“You’re welcome.” Bucky said, going back to fighting.

I kept shoving them into each other, then pushing them towards Bucky or Sam to take care of. It was working well to start, then things went south when Lemar was kicked into column at full speed by Karli. He was dead on impact, though Walker begged for him not to be.

Sam, Bucky, and I took off after Karli. The chase led to the streets, and we were met with a horrible, gruesome scene. I tried to scream, but nothing came out. Steve’s shield was used as a weapon for the first time. I was disgusted, angry, and numb all at once. All I could do was cling to Bucky to keep me standing straight.

“What has he done?”

TAGLIST (OPEN):

@ginger-swag-rapunzel @soccer1000

#bucky x reader #sam wilson x platonic!reader #Bucky Barnes #sam wilson #john walker #baron zemo #waiting for forever

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strawbrrysun287 · 3 years

Text

Need a Blanket?

Jin just KNEW that the three little brats on the floor above his dorm had everything to do with this.

Jin KNEW that Jungkook, Jimin, and Taehyung the ungrateful brats they were started the fire. No one else was stupid enough to be doing something to cause a fire at TWO IN THE DAMN MORNING.

He was having a perfectly good dream about owning his own cafe, being the talk of the town, and rolling around in a pile of money. Only to be rudely woken up by the screeching of the fire alarm and his resident advisor using the master key to bust his door down then rushing him out into the freezing cold night.

Jin hated his resident advisor because the college-level senior always seemed to have the biggest stick up his ass. Then again having something up the ass nine out of ten times was pleasurable so maybe he had the stick shoved down his throat… Well, if done correctly even that could be delightful… okay maybe the stick was embedded into his shriveled-up brain who the fuck knows.

Back to the issue at hand, his stupid resident advisor refused to let him grab a jacket or anything and it was freezing out in the middle of November. Of course, he was turning into a damn popsicle and getting crankier by the minute.

Every time he tried to ask someone what was going on they would just wave him away like he was some first grader who kept bugging them about when their next snack time would be and if they kept it up he would be turning them into the next snack and feed them to ravenous starved freshmen.

As he looked around at all the students rushed out of the dorm he noticed most had the decency to bring jackets or blankets. Except for one poor soul who was rushed out in a simple pair of briefs but at least he had friends who were wrapping him up in their collective blankets.

Jin knew he should have said fuck it to the advisor and grabbed a jacket anyway. It wasn’t like the fire was on their floor and it seemed like the sprinkles that were activated stopped the fire from spreading anywhere except the room where it was started.

Speaking of the fire that started and ruined a perfectly pleasant night, Jin continued to look around seeing if he could find the culprits just so he could give them a piece of his mind.

Even if he already knew deep down who started the fire that caused all of this.

Finally, his eyes landed on his three annoying dongsaengs with their heads down looking properly chastened by the firefighter who seemed to be more than a tad red in the face.

Okay, now he kinda felt bad for the three shitheads. Jimin looked close to crying while Taehyung and Jungkook looked like they were two seconds from dropping to their knees and begging for forgiveness.

Maybe he wouldn’t be so hard on them later but as the chill seeped into his bones he debated on whether or not he should go over and take over for the poor fire captain just so he could lecture the idiots himself.

After he lectured them of course he would make them a good breakfast to remind them he still loved the idiots.

Idiots that they have always been.

Still loved nonetheless.

His entire body started to sag between the tiredness that was finally catching up to him and the cold that had his body going numb.

Before he could think of a plan to steal one of the blankets someone from his dorm had he suddenly had a wall of warmth envelope him causing him to stiffen before relaxing without even thinking about how weird it was.

Once that thought finally occurred, his eyes snapped open in surprise, and looked around frantically for the cause of the warmth.

Immediately he noticed a thick plush royal blue blanket draped around his shoulders and someone a little taller than him standing directly in front of him with a questioning look on his face.

Oh fuck, the mystery man was talking. What did he say? He really should pay more attention to these things. Uh… maybe he can pretend he was confused. Well, he was confused so he doesn’t have to pretend.

“I’m... I’m sorry. I wasn’t paying attention.” Was he really that cold? Was that his teeth chattering together?

“No no no. You’re fine! You’re fine! I was looking for my hyung and seen you shaking. Your lips are kinda a... They are kinda turning a weird blue shade? Noticed you didn’t have a blanket or jacket and figured I could share mine. I sleep curled up with my sweater on and cocooned into my blanket so when they woke me up it just all kinda came with me instead of taking time to untangle.”

“Thank you. For the blanket. My resident advisor just kind of pulled me out of bed then shoved me out the door. He’s kinda a dick and I’ve been spending the last hour and a half thinking about how I was going to kill him and use him as an ingredient in my next meal then serve it to all the freshmen.”

“That’s... That’s a little violent, isn’t it? I mean, on second thought, it is freezing out here so yeah. Just make sure I don’t eat any of it okay? The thought of eating human flesh doesn’t exactly get me warm and fuzzy…” Mystery man let out a soft chuckle and wow that sound made Seokjin feel warm and fuzzy. What the hell?

“I promise I won’t feed you any of it. I honestly wouldn’t even feed it to the poor freshmen. I would just throw his body into the lake. No use ruining my perfect cooking dishes over him.”

With a grin, Seokjin held out his finally warm hand.

“Kim Seokjin, nice to meet you uh…?”

“Kim Namjoon!”

Okay so maybe Jin was a little weak for the other’s large hand wrapped around his. And maybe they held hands for a little longer than necessary but it was warmth and Jin was not about to say no.

Plus he kinda liked it.

“You know, I feel kinda bad keeping all of this warmth to myself. I bet I would warm up even faster and you could stay warm too if you join me under the blanket?”

Seokjin’s lips pursed like he was trying to be completely serious but a flirty smile broke out over his lips instead as he opened up his arms to let Namjoon get closer to him.

Jin was gonna take his chance. He was cold, tired, okay maybe a little delirious but Namjoon was hot and what did Jin really have to lose?

Seeing Namjoon’s lips quirk up into a smirk, Jin knew he made the right decision and shook his arms a little telling the other to hurry up.

Quickly Namjoon shuffled forward and Jin’s arms wrapped tight around the other’s waist before burying his face against Joon’s chest. His nose was cold okay?

“You know… we’ve shared a blanket and this counts as snuggling. I feel like I should ask you out on a date. Get to know each other more? Maybe share more than a blanket?” And fuck. Seokjin thought he was bold but this guy was BOLD.

“I think I would like that Namjoon… I think I would REALLY like that. How about after we get some sleep we can go out for coffee together? I’m gonna need some type of caffeine in order to survive throughout the day.”

“You know you could always come back to my ro-”

“SEOKJIN HYUNG!!!”

“Seokjin Hyung!”

“Seokjin Hyungie!!!!”

“Ungrateful disrespectful brats who will not live to see morning…”

“Technically Seokjin it is morning?”

“Shut it Namjoon or I am stealing your blanket and will leave you here freezing.”

“Yes, Seokjin~”

Taking a deep breath Seokjin waddled a little in a circle so that he and Namjoon were still pressed up tight against each other but in a way that he could stare at his three dongsaengs approaching them.

“Hyung that fire captain kept yelling at us! He yelled at us for an entire hour about fire safety and blah blah blah. It’s not like the fire KILLED anyone. Honestly, the dramatics were not needed.”

Seokjin loved Taehyung but right now he wanted to wrap his now warm hands around the younger’s neck and choke him out.

“Well in his defense, we did kinda start a dorm fire and now our entire room is charred after being up in flames and the school has to deal with insurance and getting out stuff back. Which they graciously said they would but in the meantime, we have to find a place to stay.”

And okay, maybe Jimin was Seokjin’s favorite because of the way his cheeks puffed out when he was pouty and how he was responsible yet irresponsible at the time. But always managed to keep his two best friends under his thumb so things never got too out of hand.

Well, no one has ended up in jail yet, so Seokjin hasn’t had to give them bail money which is a plus in his book. Nor has anyone ever had to go to the hospital. So on that note, it’s a definite win-win.

“You know Seokjin hyung… we could always stay with you… Jimin and Tae can crash on the couch in your dorm and I can take the floor? Please? It will be like we aren’t even there!!”

Seokjin called bullshit immediately but at the same time, he knew he couldn’t leave the three on their own. All of them were like his younger brothers, even if one, unfortunately, was his younger brother that he loved dearly but would never admit to.

“I… yeah. Yes. You guys can go ahead and stay in my dorm. You three are lucky I have a single or else it wouldn’t have been so easy. PLEASE do not touch anything that could even possibly start a fire though do you hear me? If I catch any of you three in the kitchen area I will have your heads on a platter by the end of the hour.”

“Yes, Hyung!”

“Yes, Hyungie!”

“Yes Seokjin”

“MANNERS JUNGKOOK”

“Yes SEOKJIN HYUNG”

“Better… Now you three go I need to finish warming up.”

Seokjin was hoping and praying to the fates that the three would just completely ignore Namjoon’s presence and leave the two be to continue to flirt but no. It was never going to be that easy.

Before he knew it he had all three of the little gremlins surrounding him all staring at Namjoon with curious and amused eyes.

“So… Who are you?”

“Why are you holding hyung like that?”

“Aren’t you Yoongi hyung’s friend?”

There goes the tiny hope of peace Seokjin was so desperately craving.

“You don’t have to answer their questions, Namjoon-ah. They are little brats who are going to be sleeping in the grass for the rest of the night.”

“It’s okay Seokjin, really. I don’t mind answering their questions. Ah, I’m Kim Namjoon, your hyung was cold and turning into a popsicle so I intervened. And I am Yoongi hyung’s friend but I can’t seem to find him? I know he is fine because we got ushered out together but then he disappeared somewhere. Probably to keep sleeping.”

Okay, so he was attractive, warm, amazing voice. How much more could he take of this?

“Namjoon, this is Jimin AKA my favorite dongsaeng. The one beside him is his soulmate Taehyung. Then the third rascal is actually my younger brother, Jungkook. He is the one you have to watch out for when it comes to puppy dog eyes. He is the reason I got dared to get a tattoo on my ass then when I tried to back out of it he conned me into it.”

“You have a tattoo on your…?”

“Yeah that’s more second date material don’t you think?”

Seokjin stared at Namjoon with an impish grin and watched as the other nodded his head in agreement.

“Second date. Right. How do you feel about making this our first date, yeah?”

With a playful smack to Namjoon’s stomach, Seokjin just shook his head with a smile.

“How about we go back to your room while these idiots go back to mine and we can get to know each other a little more personally?”

“You know what, that’s the best offer I’ve heard in my life. Let’s get out of here yeah?”

As Namjoon and Seokjin headed back into the door rooms that were now accessible the three stood staring at them with a mixture of shock and amusement spread across their faces.

“GET YO MAN JINNIE HYUNG!”

“GET IT HYUNG BUT PROTECTION!!”

“WE NEED THE KEYS TO YOUR DORM JIN!!”

(I couldn't get this idea out of my head so with tired eyes and tired minds, here ya go <3 Happy reading <3)

#Namjin #namjin fic #vminkook are little shits #kim namjoon #Kim seokjin #small fire

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furibotgd · 4 years

Text

Nayro dropped several gold coins on the market stall for his payment and walked away with the fish he'd bought, more than happy to dine on it that night against a tree in the woods, hopefully out of the storm he could smell coming.

He gave the shopkeeper a friendly wave as he walked away. "Thank you! May your day be well!" He called. He didn't make it far when he heard a panicked yell from somewhere, his sensitive ears more than able to hear the yell.

"NIGHT FURIES!!!"

What? What's a Night Furies? And why is this such an important thing to yell?

He glanced around, confused, When he heard a loud shriek, and a whistle, both which hurt his ears. He heard the tounge of dragons, a little different than that of his home, and it sounded hostile.

Then, an explosion. An earth shattering bang that was accompanied by a large flash of light, a shockwave, and a building all but disappearing into flame.

The entire town devolved into madness within seconds, screeching and yelling and flames and explosions and panic. Nayro bolted with a yelp, nearly dropping his dinner. He looked around for shelter, any shelter. Everything was blowing up.

And then a massive, enormous winged figure appeared over the island, swiping at the black figures he could see flying around at almost impossible speeds, adding to the chaos.

Nayro was terrified, bolting around like a mouse surrounded by cats.

Memories flashed in his head, memories he shouldn't have had, memories he didn't want.

Two massive monsters, one golden and tusked, one hairy and whale like, tearing up entire mountains fighting each other.

He managed to dive into some stone structure and peered out like a scared cat under the bed, whispering to himself in his language.

"It'll be fine! It'll be okay. It'll always go away... go away..." He chattered.

The monsters wouldn't leave his mind.

Ah, that would have been Hel and Odin in the flesh. Blunt's words echoed in his ears.

Hel and Odin.

And Thor, and Loki... and Fenrir. He knew those names, and yet he didn't. Frigga.

Those were the gods of these lands, not his home.

How... how did he know them?

He was snapped from his weird thoughts by an ear splitting roar. The explosions stopped. He peeked out and saw one of the black winged figures heading away from the fray, a woman on its back.

He crouched even deeper in his hiding place, terrified.

He could feel something alien and different creeping through him, it was his magic, but yet it wasn't.

"What the Aeis?"

Panicking, he tried to get it to stop. It hadn't done this since... since...

He blacked out. Or rather... he was awake, but it seemed the world around him had vanished. He glanced around, only to see ocean. Ocean, as far as his eyes could see, except... there was a tiny island below him, and he could make out every building, every tiny Aestreovan wandering around minding their own business.

The world rumbled, the sky split, monsters were fighting off in the distance.

Odin.

Hel.

Fenrir.

He panicked, wrapping himself around his home, protecting it from them. Dont hurt them, don't hurt them...

NO!!!

A voice snapped him from his vision, his magic stopped in a heartbeat, retreating into his soul again.

The voice. It was so full of anguish, and shock, and regret, and...

Who did it belong to?

He peered out of his hiding place to see the attack had apparently very suddenly stopped. All the black dragons were hovering in place, except a few. One was lying on the ground, a sword in its neck, a dark human figure crouching over it.

A few humans were hugging each other nearby. He watched the scene unfold, intrigued, until the dark figure stood up.

Something about the presence it gave off was familiar.

The southern woods I explored... that's what I felt there. It's here? And why haven't... I felt it yet?

The figure began speaking, first to one of the humans, verbally, and then to the black dragons that had landed in a group. Not verbally. He could hear the voice clear as day, though it wasn't aimed at him.

The figure was mad.

He watched as the human and the dark figure interacted, the massive winged creature from before turned into a man, and yet more of the dark dragons showed up. The angry dragons left at some sort of silent command from the dark figure, and then the fires just... were sucked up by the dark figure like he was eating it for breakfast.

If Nayro didn't know for a fact he was sober, he would have questioned the drink he may have had. Was he seeing all this?

He watched as the dark dragons took the fallen dragon off into the woods.

And several of the humans as well as the dark mysterious figure left towards the great hall.

And the woman and dragon from earlier took off together, a bunch of others following them.

He curled back up into his little hiding spot, still scared, and pondering what he'd even just been through.

He only left the hiding spot when he felt safe enough, heading up to the great hall. When people asked if he was hurt, he just said he was shaken and thanked them. He got tea and sat by himself for a while, until he felt that presence again, and turned to see the dark figure, now much closer. He was dressed funnily, in sort of a one piece scale covered purple suit with a hood and a weirdly dragon mask.

He was barefoot, and both his hands and feet, the only visible parts of him, were clawed, pale, and kind of weird looking.

The figure had some tea in his hand, and was walking up to Nayro.

"This seat taken?" He asked, pointing next to the dragon half blood.

"Uh.. no. Go ahead!" Nayro sputtered as politely as he could manage.

"Thanks." The fellow said. He took off his mask, revealing a very scarred, bald face with green eyes and flames on his head,and sat down, drinking his tea like nothing was wrong.

Nayro tried desperately not to stare, as he knew how rude it was, but he couldn't help it. He tried desperately to focus on his own tea.

"How... was your day?" Nayro asked as nonchalantly as he could, although he knew it was a stupid question.

"Horrible." The man replied simply. "I lost an old friend, watched half of my old friends fly off, angry at me, and nearly had a mental breakdown at least three separate times."

"...Oh. That sucks." Nayro said nervously.

"Yeah."

"Well, uh... I'm Nayro. Nice to meet you." He told the stranger, giving him a small smile.

"Indigo." The man replied, taking another sip of his tea. "Pleasure."

There was a very awkward silence.

"So... I assume those black dragons were your friends?" Nayro asked.

"They all used to be. Half of them hate me now. And they're called Night Furies." Indigo stated with a raised finger.

Nayro nodded, suddenly understanding. Those were the Night Furies.

"I haven't seen you around before, you been here long?" Nayro asked.

"Yeah, been here a few months actually. Just... in jail." Indigo chuckled awkwardly. "Uh... It's complicated."

Nayro couldn't help but take a nervous scoot a little bit further away. He was already getting weird vibes from this man, the jail thing didn't make it better.

Indigo noticed and nodded with understanding. "Yeah. Get stuff like that a lot. Don't worry about it. I'll leave you to your tea. Ive got more wounds to help heal." He stood and stretched, grabbing his mask. "Oy, I'm gonna have just...the worst headache tomorrow." he mumbled, rubbing his back with a hand and walking off.

Nayro watched him walk off, just the most confused and intrigued he'd ever been. He thought over the weird rant he'd heard from Indigo in his head earlier, and remembered the "murder" bit with an uneasy shiver.

Pretty friendly for a mass murderer. Still... I look forward to leaving this place as soon as possible. What a trouble magnet.

He took a last sip of tea, curled up by the fire pit, ate his dinner at last, and fell asleep.

He dreamt of home.

#oneshot #Indigo #nayro

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hannahjoy12103-blog · 7 years

Text

So my friend @elianadiana1106 is known to say some weird things. Here are 200 of them:

1. Snow be gonner 2. Cars are weird. Its like a room full of couches that moves. 3. Ok. But what are mailboxes. Its like. A mailbox is a box that humans that dont know you will send you stuff. And its socially unacceptable to open someone elses box but why?WHY WHY IS THAT? WHY IS IT UNACCEPTABLE TO OPEN SOMEONE ELSES BOX? 4. Names. Are a random selection of words. Like hannah. Ellie. Alicia. Why alicia. Why. 5. When i was little i was scared of fences. 6. One time isa was chasing me with a toad i named him fred and she made me hold him and if i didnt shed make him pee on me. 7. Lockers are tiny closets 8. Why arent electronic library cards a thing yet 9. Sometimes i wonder what life would be like without cupcakes and i cry 10. Scary guys scare me 11. You know what should be illegal? Pinapple on pizza. 12. What are houses. Theyre like caves but not. 13. Bears are scary. Theyre like giant dogs with teeth and claws. 14. It was a car except it wasnt a car. 15. Not that i know what a crying cat sounds like 16. *puts glasses in mouth* *bites down* ow 17. Whats a brain tho. Its like a box but its not a box. Its an oval. And it has all of your memories and your conscience in it and if you hit it too hard you do. 18. What is the purpose of eyebrows. I dont see an actual use for them except making sure they are on fleek. 19. I was in my living room and then my brother came in and punched me. 20. Why do people have hair. Does it protect them from being cold or something 21. What if there are aliens on earth but they look just like look just like humans so we cant differentiate 22. Why do colors clash. Why do some colors look good together and others dont. What if my red is your blue. 23. What happens if someone eats a phone 24. *sings veggie tales song* that reminds me of swedish men 25. Is that a trampoline?? Oh wait no thats my reflection nevermind 26. Glasses are like hey whats up i cant see anything so let me just put up this piece of glass in front of my eye so i can see. And tadaah the glasses were born 27. *looks out the window* Oh hey such niceness 28. *hits her head on the window* im a mess *hits her head on bus seat* owwwwww 29. Someone is calling my name *looks up* is it you god?? 30. Look its my favorite emoji because it reminds me of a gorilla (shes talking about this one>😤) 31. Bushes are like baby trees except they dont grow up 32. Speaking of scarring, The lion king made me cry 33. Why do people wear bright colored bookbags 34. Windows are like eyes into the home 35. Im twelve. Oh wait i lied no im thirteen. 36. I know how to Karate 37. Look im wearing fuzzy. Theyre the best of all pants. No other pants can compare 38. *is talking to Isa through a door* Well if yuh wanna talk to me, just pick the lock. Cuz apparently, you can do that 39. Mom wants me and mom is above you 40. I like busses. Theyre like catterpillars. Theyre long and they roll along 41. What if my chin had eyes 42. What id your eyes were your nostrils and your nostrils were your eyes 43. Im short. Kinda like a pudgy cupcake 44. Pigs are like cows except they give out milk. 45. Shut up and pretend im smart 46. Shut up and let me talk 47. *discusses the possibilities of rainbow snow* rain snow. Its like rainbow but its. Its smart appreciate it. 48. Help i need life alert 49. I rip out my hair for fun sometimes 50. Im pretty sure shes austrian. I dont know why. Just. Austrian. 51. Is this cold. *touches it* Oh yes very cold. 52. I know everything 53. Have you ever been a murder gorilla before? 54. Blue raspberry isnt even a thing. What are they feeding us?! 55. One time i ate a cat. But i didnt like it very much 56. I need to think of something funny to say. Becuase i like to make things funny. 57. So garbage cans are like portable dumpsters 58. What if theres a dimension where instead of there being people and it snowing, theres snow people and it rains flesh 59. Dying wasnt on my bucket list 60. so YOURE the one who ate MY pudding cup 61. Why are they called mason jars. Did mason design them? WHOS MASON? They should be called ellie jars. We all know that ellie is way better than mason 62. Where was the lightbulb invented 63. BEFORE you say anything. Do you remember Pinky Dinky Doo 64. Its like a freakin blueberry with a face 65. Dont bite your friends *sings* “Dont. Dont. Dont bite your friends” 66. I should be doing homework but instead im watching Yo Gabbah Gabbah 67. *sings the backyardigans theme song* 68. *sings the veggie tales theme song* 69. Do you remember junior the asparagus *starts singing moana* 70. So if i owned a pinetree, could i call it minetree 71. Red pandas are better than dolphins 72. *lydia starts talking* IS THAT YOU GOD 73. What if the firemen start the fires to keep them employed 74. Tic tac toe, pick one. One of them have to die. 75. Does derp and snerp rhyme 76. *touches nose to my phone* nose phone 77. Singing. Its just like stairs. I get out of breath. 78. One time i had a dream that i had to slay a dragon. It killed me. 79. One time i was walking my grandmas dog and a cat attacked me. 80. Are hearing aids glasses for the ears 81. Whats the difference between right twix and left twix 82. HEY LOOK THERES A DUCKY 83. Morgan is a russian spy? 84. What if you could take your eye out and see into someones soul? 85. Can fish drown? Like can they drown on air? 86. I had a dream where Logan got stabbed last night? 87. FIRE HYDRANT! 88. lions? I dont have any lions 89. Cinderella can go dig a hole and die in it 90. Thats sooooo ugly. Cinderella can wear it 91. I dont even like orange soda but i drink it because its sugar and i LOVEEEEEEE sugar 92. Oh no sweety those shoes do not go with that dress, unless youre Cinderella 93. I have a burning hatred for Cinderella 94. WHAT THE HECK IS– oh its me 95. Its time to listen to MY songs. Buckle up buddy. 96. If i was an animal i would be an irrawaddy dolphin. I am. An iraqaddy dolphin 97. Im DONE with this long hair. Im cutting it off. 98. Have you heard me sing? Thats not the sound of potential. Thats the sound of death 99. If you had a girl child what would you name her (i say i dont know). Youre right. Lily is a great name 100. HANDSTAND. No wait i cant do it i will break my neck 101. *makes the verbal sound for: “GAHSBXICIWOEBDKDIQ” * 102. Did someone say bork 103. What if four wasnt a number 104. *sings*: NOW YOU KNOWWWW WITH ELLIE YOUR DAILY INFORMATIONAL THING. YEAH. 105. Some people. Theyre like walls. 106. I didnt know its body fell off. Somebody shouldve given me a heads up. 107. *reads: I like trees* he better stay away from minetre 108. It feels like a worm entering my ear 109. I give up 110. You know how carter has 753 pens in his sock? That really SOCKS for him. Ha. Ha. Ha. 111. MAKE ME. oh wait you cant cuz youre on the other side of a locked door 112. SENTIENT TACOS ARE EVERYWHERE AND THEY WATCH YOU. 113. SENTIENT WALLS. I HAVE FOUR OF THEM. 114. I had a dream that i killed a man 115. Its just a wallet. His name is walley. NO ITS A SENTIENT WALLET. that makes cents HA HA ha. Ha. That was good 116. I look like a naked mole rat 117. How did different kinds of birds come to be different 118. Hes a manager. Hes really good at managing things. And apparently hes a certified scuba diver 119. I kill at wii baseball ‘kay 120. The Miis creep me out like hey im the mini you living in the screen 121. Im single and i know it 122. The next dude who comes near me i will punch him in yhe throat. I will conventiently make sure its seamus 123. NO. THERES BUBBLE WRAP BUT ITS TAPED TO THE INSIDE SO I CANT POP IT EFFICIENTLY 124. Its like waves… but its not but it is 125. *phone buzzes* SHUT UP 126. A stylis. Its like a pencil for you phone 127. SO MANY SCREEN PROTECTORS 128. Go buy some new jeans. You dont need SCISSORS SARAH. 129. My friends say im weird. But i dont really think im weird you know. 130. Hes so tall. Hes like a freakin giraffe. Hows the air up there buddy? 131. Why the heck and i cutting holes in perfectly good jeans. I dont even like jeans. 132. I have 67 cats at home 133. What did cave people paint with? Their blood? 134. dude it’s the perfect weather to play tornado in 135. MIKE WAZOWSKI 136. Grass. Its like tini miniature trees. Im not wrong. Broccoli is a mini forrest 137. Seamus has an empty cardboard box in his room and i stole it and made it into a spaceship 138. That girl looks like me. She just want “agh” and just. Same. 139. The blankies name is dora. Dont ask why. Not my blankie tho. My blankies name is blue. I slipped on dora when i had my laptop in my lap. 140. Cinderella deserves nothing. 141. Morgan is a russian spy 142. LOOK ITS AN OLD GUY. i bet he has three dead bodies in his basement 143. A flute. You can shove it down their neck. And when their wheezing for breath beautiful melodies come out 144. The ninjas house is a bit further down. 145. Its like somewhere over the rainbow 146. I was just singing the entire soundtrack because why not. 147. Why do cars come in different colors? But the same inside colors? 148. Is it spelled nartz or narts 149. These people on my street painted their house mustard yellow and I don’t like it 150. How dis clowning start. Like hey lets paint our faces paint and put on red noses and see if children cry. I cried. I cried very hard. 151. Reich rhymes with branch 152. Cinderella deserves nothig but death 153. What if george washington IS THE WALLS? 154. The bus driver starts the bus before i sat down and i almost fell on my face. Lets face it that wasnt very nice of him. HA ha ha… 155. Jail backwards is laij 156. Do i confuse you more than math because nothing confuses me more than math 157. *rants about lotion* *cries* 158. The pogo is a no-go 159. I forget that i tell people things and im suprised when they already know, like how. Did you read my mind? 160. OH I HAD THIS DREAM. It was an animal apocalypse and they broke my glasses and I woke up mad and confused as to why I couldn’t see. 161. I think that in the alphabetical world, that c and s are rivals 162. Is a sticker still a sticker if it loses its stick 163. Stickers can go a die in a hole with Cinderella 164. Do you think the ocean is just salty because the beach never waves back? 165. Hey look its Mr. Testa. Dont testa me. HA. ha..haha 166. I want to go to sweden to see if they have swedish fish factories 167. Doesnt Switzerland make pretzels? Or is that Germany? 168. What if the sky is purple… 169. Me: *sends ellie a photo of an owl saying hello friend* ellie: WHOO ME?! haha get it… I’m making owl puns? What a hoot! 170. Ha ha… man i made this *send photo of hawk* Hawkward… 171. i see you are not *send photo of emu* EMUSED. 172. I get it, my puns are…fowl. Fowl. Did that send twice? Oh whale, i did it on porpoise. 173. What did the ocean say to the beach? Nothing it just waved. Did you sea what i did there? Im shore you did. 174. I almost ran into my wood bed. That woodn’t be fun now wood it 175. Im eating a bagel. Bagels? More like Bae Goals 176. Shea broke and 'unbreakable bowl’. Its unbowlievable 177. I just made up an 'under the sea’ parody about chocolate milk. Help me. 178. What did the grape say when he got stepped on? Nothing. He just let out a little wine 179. I think there is a monster under my bed 180. *draws a cherry* I thought it was a berry good drawing 181. I think of eyebrows as two countries. Unibrows unite them. 182. Im hanging out with sally right now (her imaginary friend who is homicidal) 183. I WILL WALK THERE WITH DETERMINATION AND GET TO MY DESTINATION TO FINISH YOUR EXTERMINATION. I WILL GO TO MURDER NATION 184. Ya know when spies do a little camp thing to catch the bad dude 185. Newspaper is so confusing. Its like a thousand tiny paper books. Im trying to read it but is not helping me 186. *talking about the origin of pretzels*but whose the mother country that was like “hey lets make some dough wrap like this then sprinkle some salt then how bout some mustard”. Like who did that. it couldn’t been a collaboration of countries. did they hold a world meeting to think of new foods 187. Where the heck did cake come from. Apparently the Greeks invented cake, but according to food historians the ancient Egyptians invented cake 188. Hey my family just decided that our new safe word is 'Oklahoma’ 189. I am certain that food historian is a real job 190. So apparently not all Catholic Churches have their sermons in Spanish 191. But apparently the actual Purple Heart is in Orlando 192. Apparently my friend Amanda almost pet a manatee today 193. THE PIZZA PLACE STOLE OUR PIZZA. I THINK. WE ORDERED PIZZA MUCH TIME AGO AND IT ISNT HERE YET 194. I was watching a show called Room on the Broom but it wasn’t very good 195. AND ARE STORES CALLED STORES BC YOU STORE FOOD THERE? OR IS IT CALLED A STORE BC YOU GET FOOD FROM THERE TO TAKE HOME AND STORE YOURSELF?? 196. aRGG I JUST GOT TOOTHPASTE IN MY EYE 197. I hate snow white almost as much as i hate cinderella 198. I should get a star on the hollywood floor 199. There’s a ladder on your roof, you should get that checked out 200. I have ice cream. aaaand I walked into a wall

#quotes #weird

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You Lied Your Way Into A Job As A Surgeon! Can You Avoid Killing Anyone Long Enough To Collect Your First Paycheck?

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Surgeons. The masters of the flesh. The gatekeepers of the organs. The doctors who get to shave patients.

These are the green-wearing gods who know that the human body is but a chessboard, and that the nipples are the king and queen, and the belly button is the opposing king or queen.

Today, finally, you are beginning your journey as one of them.

Sounds sweet.

You have already gone through the arduous process of becoming a surgeon. After calling the hospital over and over every day for three weeks straight and praising Tylenol in the deepest voice you could muster to whoever picked up, being hung up on by countless doctors and nurses, you finally hit the big time.

Yesterday, you managed to get the chief of medicine on the line, who offered you a job after a mere 50 minutes of you bellowing to her about the white-and-red pill. Congratulations!

Thank you. I am a surgeon.

If you eat eight Tylenol fast, that’s one rabies shot.

Eating any more than three Tylenols in church is a SIN unless you brought enough for EVERYONE.

Okay. Being a surgeon is sweet as hell. You get to wear patients’ clothes around a hospital once the chemicals put them to sleep, you can eat as many tortilla chips as you want, and you can hide all of your favorite DVDs and family heirlooms inside toxic waste bins, the one place thieving pricks are too grossed out by to steal from.

That all sounds great.

Skittles are to math what Tylenol is to alchemy.

Tossing Tylenol into an above-ground pool is basically the same idea as tossing Tylenol into an in-ground pool.

George Harrison wrote three songs about Tylenol in the days just before his passing that his estate will not release.

Cool. But the best part of being a surgeon, bar none, is that incredible surgeon paycheck.

It’s no secret that surgeons are paid well, as every single day at 8 p.m., hardworking surgeons all over the world reap the fruits of their labor: a plastic bag filled with $600, given to them by their chief of medicine on their way out the door, in addition to a goodnight kiss on the forehead.

Hell yeah.

Exactly. So now that you’re a surgeon, you better do everything in your power to make it your $600 payday, because there is one universal stipulation that could jam you up: If a surgeon kills someone, everything completely goes to shit.

1) For starters, once a surgeon kills someone, they are NEVER allowed back in a hospital, ever. Even if you just want to go to hang out or to meet new lovers.

2) Your professional reference completely goes out the window. If a new job calls to ask about you, instead of a recommendation, the HR department hands the phone off to the absolute sickest pervert patient they have, and lets them air out whatever they’ve got kickin’ around up in their minds.

3) Lastly—and this one is the worst of all—you don’t get paid a dime, which would mean all of your efforts to become a surgeon were for NOTHING.

So, if you want to get to that sweet paycheck, you’re going to have to make it through one entire day as a surgeon without killing someone.

I’m excited to be a surgeon who kills no one.

The hospital. The place where people come when they are bored to take off their pants and scream. This will be your new surgeon home, and today is your first day of work. As far as anyone inside is concerned, you are now a fully qualified surgeon, so if you want those 600 clams, you’re going to have to hold your own and stay off everyone’s radar.

Enter the hospital.

“Please give me a surgery.”

Ah, shit. A sick kid is waiting for you right inside the lobby, and he looks all kinds of fucked up.

“I need a surgery pronto. I am dying, and it feels like none of my bones are connected to my other bones. I also have a rash that comes and goes. Please do surgery to me with your other doctor friends.”

Quietly tell the kid that he’d be doing you a huge favor by asking another doctor for help on this one, and hope that he’ll be cool.

Piss your pants and bail to the bathroom.

“If you don’t give me a surgery right now, I will scream. I will scream so loud and for so long, and I will point at you the whole time. It will go on for so long that the rest of the doctors here will have no choice but to send you to jail.”

Piss your pants and bail to the bathroom.

That was close. You’ve pissed your pants real good, and now you’re in the bathroom splashing your pants with water, the best way to clean pants that you’ve urinated in.

I know that. My pants are now much wetter, but not as much with piss as with water, so they’re practically good as new.

“You sure know your way around cleaning a pair of pissed pants, sport. Not bad at all.”

You look over and see that it’s the hospital’s janitor talking to you. He somehow opened the door in perfect silence while you were inside splashing your pants, and has been watching you for upwards of 90 full seconds.

“I’ve been watching you for upwards of 90 full seconds, and I can tell just by looking at you, you’re no surgeon.”

Yes I am. I am a surgeon, you jackass.

Remove your shoelaces and begin choking the janitor until he dies so no one finds out about the bullshit he just said, or about your method of splashing water onto your pants.

“Easy, easy. I’m not gonna rat you out. I’m gonna help you.

I take it that you’re in here lying to be a surgeon, hoping to get ‘The $600 Bag Treatment,’ huh? Well, you’ve got a friend in me. I’ve seen it before, and I’ll see it again. All you gotta do is make it until 8 p.m. without killing a soul and you’re in the clear. So whadya say you come lay low with me for the rest of the day, spend some time hanging with a new bud so you don’t end up killin’ no one before you get that money?”

Why are you being so nice to me?

“I, uh, how do you mean?” he says, visibly becoming self-conscious about the entire interaction so far. “I’m just tired today, so if I’m acting weird, that’s what that’s about, probably. Allergies are being weird, too.”

Okay. Let’s hang out.

“Follow me!” the janitor says before sprinting down the hallway. You do your best to keep up with him as he weaves in and out of patients and doctors before you finally arrive at a huge metal door. He slides open the rusty door to reveal a set of long, winding stairs that lead to a dark, desolate basement, and turns to you with a half smile.

“It’s not delivery, it’s DiGiorno,” he says before letting out a quick, uncertain laugh, looking over his shoulder at you to kind of check in and see if you’re laughing or anything at what must have been some sort of joke.

Smile and nod politely.

Pretend you didn’t hear what he said.

What are you talking about? What?

“That was dumb, never mind,” the janitor says, shaking his head as his shoulders slump, trying to explain his joke before slowly progressing into full-blown self-deprecation. “I was thinking, like, how in the old commercials, I’d be the delivery guy and you’re the pizza—I don’t know, forget it. It was dumb. Sorry.”

Okay.

You follow the janitor down the stairs and into the basement of the hospital, and lo and behold, it’s a full-blown bachelor’s pad! The janitor has stocked the place with some of the best things: a ping-pong table, a “Forever 27” poster, an old-timey popcorn machine, and a bunch of orange pill bottles filled with Frosted Cheerios.

“This is my chill zone. I’m down here almost all the time, which is why the hospital is filthy and patients always seem to get sick immediately after they get better.”

“We got all day, brother, so we could either sit down and talk about that important-looking guitar I have mounted on the wall over there, or we could stand near the stairs and wonder if Slash has ever signed a guitar and sold it for $20,000 online before, or maybe we could lay down on the ground and trade stories about the most expensive thing we’ve ever mounted on a wall. Your call.”

Challenge the janitor to ping-pong.

“I can’t lift my arms above my waist because of a power-washer accident.”

Give in and ask the janitor about the guitar on his wall, since it seems like he really wants you to.

“You got a good eye, kid,” he says as though you brought it up completely unprompted, proudly looking up at the guitar he somehow mounted unnecessarily high on his wall.

“Believe it or not, Slash signed that guitar, and I was lucky enough to spend all of the money I have on it. I usually don’t do this for anyone, but for you, I’ll climb all the way up there and get it if you want to hold it.”

Seems dangerous to climb up there if you can’t lift your hands above your waist.

“I’d climb anywhere for one of my boys.”

And what about those wires? You’d have to step all over those wires to get over there?

“I’ll put a very wet towel over them. I’m sure that will be fine.”

This looks way too dangerous. Say you don’t need to see the guitar, bail on the weird janitor, and head back toward the lobby to kill time solo.

Ask the janitor to get the guitar for you.

You’ve killed! You’ve killed!

You put the janitor in grave danger by selfishly asking him to grab his Slash guitar off the wall. After the janitor put a soaking-wet towel on top of his countless basement wires in order to walk over to the wall and begin his climb, he was immediately electrocuted and fell crashing to the ground without the ability to raise his arms and break his fall. It’s unclear if it was the electricity surging through his body that did him in, or if it was the way his neck snapped on a nearby stool because of the horrible, unnatural way he fell. But either way, he is definitely dead, and it is your fault.

You’re no longer a surgeon, and you can kiss that bag of $600 goodbye.

Restart at checkpoint.

Start Over

As you go back up the stairs and start heading toward the lobby, you can hear that he starts to follow you, but then locks himself in the bathroom you were in earlier and begins screaming at himself in the mirror for messing up what could’ve been a nice day. His screaming gets louder and louder before it comes to a halt after you hear the sound of him snapping his mop over his knee in fury.

Run away from the janitor as fast as you can.

“I need you to give me a surgery right now.”

Ah, damn. It’s the sick kid from earlier.

“I feel like I’m on a boat at all hours of the day, and my elbows are dry. I need you to cut me open and drain me out, if that’s what it takes, and to please get me home by later today.”

Give the kid a surgery.

You pick the kid up, throw him over your shoulder, and walk through the hospital looking for a good room to cut him open in. After 20 minutes, you finally find the room with all of the surgeons in it, and you slam the kid down on the empty table they’re all staring at.

Now all eyes are on you. You’re going to have to step up and say something pretty incredible to get all of these surgeons on your side.

Found a kid I think would be perfect for surgery.

This is the only patient I’ve seen twice so far, so I think he should be next.

It’s not delivery. It’s DiGiorno.

You’ve killed! You’ve killed!

After you said that ridiculous, dumbass comment, every surgeon in the room became furious at you and began hammering you with questions about your qualifications. You tried mumbling through more Tylenol facts, which went much worse in person than it did on the phone, and somewhere during your 25-minute verbal beatdown from the other surgeons, the kid died on the table.

You are no longer a surgeon, and you will never get a plastic bag filled with $600.

Restart at checkpoint.

Start Over

Share Your Results

Everyone starts nodding and smiling and patting each other on the back. Good shit.

“Ha, nice,” a woman says, whose voice you recognize from the phone as the chief of medicine at the hospital. She quickly anesthetizes the patient to finally stop him from grabbing and clawing at everyone’s surgical masks, and within seconds the little spaz is sleeping.

At that moment, the tallest doctor you’ve ever seen walks into the door wearing a backwards hat and confidently drinking Barq’s Root Beer out of a 2-liter bottle.

“I’ve never seen you around here,” he says after putting the root beer down firmly into the lap of the unconscious kid and eyeing you up and down suspiciously. “Enlighten us, fresh meat. Now, what surgery are we performing on this little man, exactly?”

Ah, this guy is onto you. Need something big here to throw everyone off your tracks.

Fuck you, pal.

Sorry, rookie, but surgeries don’t have names.

Wink at him.

“Doctors, you two can be mean to each other in the parking lot all day long if you want to, but that’ll be enough fighting in my hospital,” says the chief of medicine after banging her fist down onto the kid’s chest like a gavel to get everyone’s attention.

“This little boy is in dire need of a heart transplant. We need to start immediately.”

Let’s get started.

Piss yourself and try to bail to the bathroom.

“Doctors, that’ll be enough talk about whether or not there are actually types of surgeries or not, because there simply is not a correct answer,” says the chief of medicine after banging her fist down onto the kid’s chest like a gavel to get everyone’s attention.

“This little boy is in dire need of a heart transplant. We need to start immediately.”

Let’s get started.

Piss yourself and try to bail to the bathroom.

“Doctors, please stop winking at each other,” says the chief of medicine after banging her fist down onto the kid’s chest like a gavel to get everyone’s attention.

“This little boy is in dire need of a heart transplant. We need to start immediately.”

Begin surgery.

Piss yourself and try to bail to the bathroom.

After noticing that no one is reacting to you pissing yourself, you look around and realize that every surgeon in the room has also already pissed themselves. Then you remember that surgeons are constantly pissing themselves during surgery, like bicyclists during races, for reasons completely unknown.

Ah, right. Now start the surgery.

The chief of medicine takes out a toolbox from underneath the surgery-room sink and hands each surgeon a tool. She takes each tool out one by one and starts passing them down the line. One doctor gets a small shovel, one gets a large knife, another gets a pickax, and on and on it goes, until you finally end up with the flashlight!

“Um, yeah, that’s my flashlight, pal. I’m always the flashlight man around here,” says the root-beer doctor.

“No,” interjects the chief. “New guy can hold the flashlight today. I have a good feeling about this.”

Your new rival is stunned. He shoots you a dirty look, threateningly crosses his thumb over his neck, and then does it again with his other thumb, but slower. Then he quietly mouths something that you didn’t really get a good read on, but from what you did see, your best guess is that he was saying something like “Fracking mountains,” or “Simply delicious.” Then he is handed the worst tool: the blood napkin, the tool that wipes up all the loose goo and pus.

Turn the flashlight on and shine it at the kid’s organs.

Shine the flashlight in your rival’s eyes to make him squint.

“Ah, c’mon, man. Quit it. What the hell.”

Nice. Shine the flashlight at the kid’s organs now.

The surgery is now well under way. The chief is slicing and dicing and moving parts around left and right. It’s pretty much a one-woman show.

Most of the other doctors are using their tools just to kind of scrape some bones and stuff when they feel like they should get in the mix, usually after not doing anything for a couple minutes straight and getting nervous that someone will notice how they’re not really that crucial to the operation.

You’re getting bored by the whole thing at this point, but at least you’re holding your own with these docs and, most importantly, haven’t killed anyone yet.

Keep shining the light in the organs.

Surgery still going. Getting kind of repetitive. A couple doctors shuffled out for a minute and came back with crackers, but the crackers are all gone now. You didn’t even notice they had crackers until there were only, like, four left in the sleeve, so at that point, asking for some really wouldn’t have been cool.

Surgery is getting boring.

Keep shining the flashlight.

Surgery is boring as hell.Your arms got tired from holding the flashlight up, so you put it down for a minute and no one seemed to notice. You’re back up now.

Keep shining the flashlight.

Kid woke up and started screaming LOUD, but now he’s sleeping again.

“You were scared!” “No, you were scared!” “I wasn’t scared, you were scared!” The surgeons are all ragging on each other and having fun again. Finally got some juice in the room. Whole crew got a good laugh out of that one.

Keep shining the flashlight.

Woah, wait a minute. Oh, man. You see something inside the kid’s body. Wedged deep in between his rib cage and his liver, there looks to be something shining and throbbing, and you’re pretty sure you’re the only one who sees it.

Two doctors broke away from the surgery about 15 minutes ago to arm wrestle on a nearby stool, and the rest of the surgeons have all one-by-one walked over to form a circle around them so they can gamble. Meanwhile, the chief is still hacking away at this kid’s organs with all of her might, and seems way too dialed-in to notice the game changer you’ve found.

Become a hero in front of your new boss by immediately and dramatically yanking out whatever the hell is sticking out of this kid’s guts.

Play it safe by simply alerting the chief of the mystery object and seeing what she thinks you should do.

Lean your flashlight up against the kid’s chin and go gamble with your new work friends.

You’ve killed! You’ve killed!

You thought you were being a hero by yanking out what you thought were some sort of wet, shining metals, but were actually the poor kid’s veins. You are no longer a surgeon, and can go ahead and kiss that sweet paycheck goodbye.

Restart at checkpoint.

Start Over

“Those are veins. They are not ‘evil copper and metals sticking out of this poor bastard’s guts.’ Do not call them that.”

Damn. Misread that one. The chief is totally onto you now.

“But I appreciate you speaking your mind when you think something is amiss,” she continues, looking up and making eye contact with you for the first time. “That takes a commitment to the job that some of my other doctors lack at times,” she says, motioning to the doctors across the room who are now attempting to disguise their arm-wrestling gambling ring by draping a hospital gown over the two meaty, dueling arms.

Hold eye contact without blinking, slowly nod your head, and say “good.”

The chief reciprocates your unblinking eye contact and begins nodding in perfect unison with your nodding. This goes on for a good 20 seconds or so, the grunts of the two arm wrestlers and the slaps of cold, hard cash hitting the tile becoming the only sounds in the room.

At that moment, you and the chief simultaneously feel a romantic charge between you, and it feels beautiful and right. But that romantic feeling is immediately followed by a simultaneous paternal feeling, but it’s unclear who is the parent and who is the child. Then the two feelings of physical attraction and familial protectiveness fuse together into one singular emotion, and it feels disgusting to both of you.

Pretend you hear one of the gambling surgeons call you over to ask you a quick question, and then walk over to them.

“Yeah, yeah, go catch up with them. I’ll hold it down over here, cool,” the chief kind of half-mutters to herself and to you while shaking her head and getting back to surgery.

Look back over your shoulder and smile and nod.

Pretend you didn’t hear her and walk faster toward the arm-wrestling scene.

You walk over to the gambling circle and see the two exhausted surgeons pulling and pushing as hard as they can to win. The two doctors are so evenly matched that their arms aren’t moving or shaking in the slightest. If it weren’t for the veins about to explode out of their temples and the tears streaming down their faces, you’d have no idea how intense the duel was.

All of the other surgeons are quietly going apeshit. Almost all of them are either gently pounding their chests, gingerly slapping the ground, or shaking their fists in the air, all the while whispering bad arm-wrestling advice like “Win the skin!” or “Make him smooth!”

It’s definitely a pretty sweet scene, and you decide that you want to get in the mix.

Ask the doctor on your left to borrow a couple bucks to gamble.

Ask the doctor on your right to borrow a couple bucks to gamble.

As you go to ask the doctor next to you, your rival doctor steps in front and interrupts:

“Looking to get in on the action but lacking the funds, newbie? Don’t worry, fresh meat. I got you covered. Also, we’re rival doctors, just in case that wasn’t clear.”

Whoa, pretty cool to get a rival doctor on your first day on the job. That probably usually takes years.

“That’s my coat over there,” he says, pointing to a white lab coat being worn by one of the arm-wrestling surgeons. “Go ahead and take my wallet out of the pocket and take out as much money as you want.”

He then lets out a weird little laugh and looks around to see if anyone else is laughing. One other doctor did laugh, but he’s in the middle of a conversation with another surgeon, so you’re pretty sure the laugh had nothing to do with your rival.

That’s weird. Seems like that coat belongs to the doctor wearing it. You lying, asshole?

“I have coats all over this hospital that you wouldn’t know a thing about,” he says, raising his fist up to your chin real quick, trying to get you to flinch. You stand your ground and don’t flinch at all, though, and he sheepishly brings his fist back down to his side.

Tell your rival that you would never borrow money from his shitty coat, and that he’s acting like a real weirdo.

Trust your rival’s suspicious story, reach into the coat being worn by the arm-wrestling doctor, and take out some money to gamble with.

You’ve killed! You’ve killed!

In a brilliantly executed scheme, your rival tricked you into reaching into the coat of one of the doctors who is arm wrestling. When the arm wrestler saw you trying to steal his wallet, his mix of adrenaline and dangerously high blood pressure caused his heart to explode.

Your misconduct has resulted in a death, meaning you can no longer be a surgeon, and you will never see that sweet, sweet bag o’ cash.

Restart at checkpoint.

Start Over

“I, uh, good then,” he stutters as h