#but without the romance :DD
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(Ooc) Petition for when Assistant comes out as Fae and begins to feel more free to be truly themself, the others in his friend group make an Assistant fan club :3
#very much based off of the Deku Fan club I saw in fanfics for mha#but without the romance :DD#ooc post
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[3:45PM] Suna Rintarou (prequel of DD) [3]
I started a part-time job so my writing and posting will slow down tremendously. Hopefully, I'll get inspired lol. If you are new, this is the 3 part, please go back and read the initial post, and prequel - parts 1, and 2. You can find those chapters here
Warning: none, angst/hurt & leading to comfort
Note: There is a time jump, hopefully, I don't confuse you guys
Prequel (part 2)
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Rin realized he found himself watching Y/n sleep more often than usual. He never understood romantic films where the man watches the girl sleep, often thinking how creepy they were.
He didn’t care that at the moment he was doing the same thing, watching Y/n sleep like a little creeper. All that mattered to him was seeing Y/n asleep beside him safe and sound.
Rin still could not believe the wild roller coaster he and about 300 other passengers went through less than 72 hours ago.
It was one thing to be surprised to discover that Y/n was the pilot of the plane he was flying to Thailand for a tournament.
Four months ago, he would have waved at her like a hopeless romance and shown everyone they were lovers.
But it has been four months since Rintarou broke everything off with Y/n.
Everything has been a mess since that day and nothing was going right.
With each ticking second his conscience questions whether he made the right decision. Was it impulsive or was he right?
All he wanted was to make them official, he wanted the right to call her his girlfriend and show her off. He also wanted her to take him home to her place.
He wanted a home with her.
But he got the sense she didn’t want to share much of her life with him.
He began questioning her about when she would cancel plans or tell him she would no longer be coming home that day and be gone for days on end without communication.
He respected her busy career and work schedule, but he couldn’t help but feel left out of her life.
They had been seeing each other for almost four months, he was ready for the next phase and thought they were both on the same page.
When he initiated and asked her to be his girlfriend, she did not consider his request, immediately turning him down.
“I’m sorry… I can’t… I thought you understood, Rin?”
Like a light switch, anger consumed him. He threw the comforters off and stalked naked around his room to search for his boxers. “Understood?” he mimicked her tone, he wiped towards her with hurt and pain written on his face. “What is there to understand when you don’t tell me anything?”
“What do you mean? I tell you when I’m done with work, I make time on my off days to meet with you. What is it, Rin? What is it that you want?” Y/n kept her voice leveled, not wanting to meet his energy.
“I want you!” he shouted, throwing his hands up, “I want you to be mine, Y/n.” He inhaled sharply, “I want everything there is out there to want. I want to know where you are at all times because I can’t help but be anxious you might be with someone else when you are not with me. I want to know what you are thinking about and if I even cross your mind at all because you are always on mine. I want to tell every damn hot-blooded male out there you are mine, fuck – even the women too because you’re fucken amazing.” His breath shook as he slowly took a deep breath. “I want to not have this terrible feeling that I’m not good enough for you…” he choked, “I feel like I’m being childish, wanting you to only look my way, wanting you to only want me… want you in every way possible. But I feel like it’s one-sided…”
He felt foolish pouring out his childish feelings. He couldn’t even look at her at this point.
To make matters worse, Y/n hadn’t spoken a word. She had not attempted at all to assure him that she too wanted him.
“I think we should end this, it is obvious you do not feel the same way for me,” he muttered, “please see your way out.” He turned his heels and headed straight to his bathroom.
When he came out after a hot bath almost an hour later, she was gone, every trace of her gone.
He stared out the air plane window, zoning out until something was held in front of him, a paper bag.
“Our captain has asked me to deliver this to you.” The young flight attendants informed with a smile.
Rin accepted it and opened the bag.
It was snacks he and Y/n enjoyed eating together. At the bottom of the bag was a piece of paper inside.
I hope you have been well.
He shut his eyes and pinched the bridge of his nose.
He missed her dearly.
Reaching for his bag, he began searching for stuff he could give back to Y/n. “Excuse me,” he called the flight attendant, “do you have pen and paper?” She returned with the items he requested.
As he was about to signal the flight attendant again, the plane suddenly jerked and trembled violently before it suddenly veering sharply to the left, causing standing passengers to lose their balance.
Y/n’s voice came over the intercom with a vague announcement, immediately ordering all passengers to fasten their seatbelts.
Rin could not mistake the uneasiness in her tone and nor did he miss the looks on the flight attendants' faces as they quickly shuffled around, making sure all passengers followed the announcement.
Quickly fastening his seatbelt, unknowingly holding his breath.
Talk to me Y/n, Rin silently prayed to himself.
No one could have anticipated encountering a situation typically happening only in films. The lights inside the plane started flickering, and the aircraft continued to sway as if struggling to remain airborne. This prompts passengers to demand an explanation.
Rin looked down at his watch and began counting.
It was the longest five minutes of his life before he heard Y/n’s voice.
“This is your pilot Y/n, we will be making an emergency landing shortly here in Singapore, please remain seated and keep your seat belt fastened until further notice.”
Thirty minutes later, the plane landed on the tarmac and moved towards the many flashing vehicles.
At last, an announcement was made, except this time it was not Y/n’s voice. “This is your co-captain speaking, I sincerely apologize for the sudden change and inconvenience. There has been an emergency medical situation and I ask everyone to please remain seated until further notice. Another announcement will be made as soon as you can exit the aircraft, there will be gate agents ready to assist and get you on the next flight to Thailand.”
Outside of the aircraft ambulances and other medical services were waiting outside.
Rin’s eyes widen as he catches a glimpse of Y/n rushing alongside the stretcher that is being hauled into an ambulance.
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Rin and his team boarded the next flight to Thailand. His mind remained clouded and hazy as he awaited Y/n’s text response, any response from her. During the game, he found himself sidelined for most of it, as his coached noticed his lack of mental focus. The moment EJP Raijin was declared champions, Rin rushed to the locker room to check his phone.
He has never been so relieved to see her name on his screen.
I’m in Thailand at XXX Hotel. Dinner?
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“Usually, on long flights lasting 6 hours or more, there are three pilots, but this time, there were four due to the larger aircraft. It was my co-pilot’s and my turn to swap and rest. Thirty minutes after falling asleep, I heard him call my name, gasping that he was experiencing chest pains,” Y/n recounted, rubbing her face with her hand as she relived the moment. “He was having a cardiac arrest,” Y/n pushed the food on her plate around, not having much of an appetite. She described how she administered CPR to her colleague while simultaneously giving commands to the other pilot to request an emergency landing. “An as if that wasn’t challenging enough, we flew into a flock of birds that caused one of our engines to blow out,” Y/n explained, her expression reflecting extreme fatigue as she recount the situation on the plane. “The plane got out of control so I had to quickly switch and gain control in the air until we landed in Singapore.” She smiled tiredly at Rin, “he’s okay if you’re wondering.”
“That’s good, but are you okay?” Rin cared more for her well-being than the others. He too lost his appetite, pushing his food around. He reached for her hand and laced their fingers. “How are you feeling?”
“I’m just… exhausted. It’s been a long four months…” she tightened her fingers around his. “Long four months of training and… without you.”
Rin could only maintain eye contact with her in silence before softly inquiring, “what are you trying to say…?”
“I’m saying that I have missed you, Rintarou. I have missed you every single day,” Y/n answered earnestly.
A deep sigh escaped from his lips, as though he had been holding it in for quite some time before they curved into a smile. “I missed you too,” he admitted.
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In the brief period he’s known her, she has consistently been a sound sleeper, likely due to her hectic work routine.
But at this moment, he could tell she was deeply asleep as she didn’t stir when he shifted himself so he could hold her. His heart rate eased as she nestled closer into his warmth. The tip of her nose pressed lightly against his nipple, erecting his nub as she unconsciously rubbed against it.
He hist softly, cursing silently in his head. Counting backward from one hundred, he distracts his mind with other thoughts to distract himself.
He found it hard to grasp the reality of her presence beside him. After dinner, there was no way he was going to part from her.
He held on to the end of her shirt like a lost puppy, “stay with me.”
Y/n reached for his hand, holding it tightly, “I’m so tired, I’m ready to fall asleep on my feet.”
“Your place or mine, I don’t care, your call.” Rin stepped closer and cupped her cheek, “I just want to be wherever you are.”
They came back to hers. Rin noticed her small luggage and a handful of her belongings spread out on the desk.
Y/n began stripping her clothes off, leaving only her panties and sports bra on. Rin could feel his face heat up as he turned away.
“I’m just getting comfortable, don’t worry I won’t take advantage of you,” she teased, slipping into the bed. “Are you going to stand there all day or are you going to get in?”
He stripped down to his boxers briefs and slipped in, he might as well get comfortable with her too.
“Are you afraid I’ll bite you? Why are you so far away from me? Are you lying about missing me?”
Y/n was tugged into Rin’s arm as they tightly locked around her. “I would lie about many things but missing you isn’t one of them.” He pressed his lips to her forehead, “sleep, you can barely keep your eyes open.”
“Rin.”
He hummed watching her close her eyes before she whispered, “I like you.”
Minutes later, her breathing steadied, and she relaxed in his embrace. Rin couldn’t pinpoint when he started noticing the small intricacies about her. Like the tiny beauty mark at the outer corner of her left eye, or how her green eyes occasionally shifted to yellow in the sunlight. He observed how her eyes crinkled when she smiled widely and how she would quickly use a hand to cover her smile. He longed to reach out and smooth the wrinkles on her forehead when she was deeply focused on something.
He found himself missing her every second of the day whenever she wasn’t by his side, and every little thing seemed to remind him of her. Whether it was spotting someone with the same shade of green eyes or hearing or seeing an airplane in the sky, thoughts of Y/n would flood his mind.
Every little thing about Y/n came down to one thing, he was hopelessly in love with her.
.
For the past five minutes, Y/n had been observing the man sleeping beside her. She couldn’t help but notice the dark circles under his eyes and how he seemed to have lost weight, his cheeks appearing sunken.
She had noticed her weight loss and general disinterest since their fallout, believing she was the only one suffering. As her fingers lightly brushed his bangs aside, she pondered whether he, too, might have been enduring similar struggles.
After she left his place that day, regret weighed heavily in her heart ever since. She has never felt rejected and hurt as much as Rin telling her to leave his place.
She distracted herself with work, taking on additional shifts until one day she was greeted by someone she least expected, her old boss, the Chief Master Sergeant of the Air Specialty Force.
“We need you to come back,” was the first thing he said. “We have a project and you are the only one who can lead it and carry it out.”
Pursuing aviation had always been Y/n’s passion and dream, so joining the military straight out of school seemed like the optimal choice for her. In a sense, she was achieving two goals at once: pursuing her passion while also upholding the long-standing family tradition of military service spanning decades.
A year ago, she would have eagerly accepted the mission, always eager for a fresh challenge. But now, she found herself struggling to find her voice. Accepting the mission meant being away for an extended period – ranging from at least six months to two years or more.
Y/n couldn’t understand why she was hesitating.
A part of her was her pride.
She is reminded of a painful past incident that had her dismissed with an uncharacterized discharge. After she returned to the civilian world, she was pulled into commercial aviation to maintain a part of her passion.
But that wasn’t it either.
At last, Rin’s face came to her mind.
Everything has changed since she met Rin.
He was only meant to be a distraction. Their relationship was never meant to have gone this far or deep.
She wasn’t supposed to care for him, let alone, formed a bond with him.
Her time in the military and her specialized field compelled her to prioritize her duty over settling down, understanding that investing in something that might only lead to heartbreak was not in her best interest. Even in her current time, she was always on the go, never settling in one spot for long, she was convinced a relationship wouldn’t survive if one partner was always gone.
This is why she steered clear of committing to a relationship or remaining attached to someone for an extended duration.
Y/n had refused to acknowledge her feelings for Rintarou. She viewed their interactions as mere entertainment whenever she was back at home. She enjoyed his pursuit and the undivided attention he gave her. She has never had anyone give her as much attention as Rin had. At first, she believed it was because he was younger than her and was infatuated with the thought of chasing and finding interest in an older woman.
However, as they spent more time together, the hours slipping by unnoticed, she gradually found herself caving into him, basking in the warmth of his arms and feeling her heart beat in sync with his.
She had never yearned for someone’s company as intensely as she did for his. Simply being in his presence was sufficient to make her feel at ease and rejuvenate. He filled a void in her life that she hadn’t realized existed.
Her heart and mind started yearning for every detail about him. In a crowded place, she’d catch a glimpse of men similar in height, instantly reminded of him. The sight of the color yellow would remind her of his eyes that glowed whenever they locked with hers. She began following his volleyball team to stay on top of updates about him and his professional life.
She thought she was the only one who was feeling these aftereffects.
Therefore, it was a hasty choice on her part to accept the mission, driven by the desire to distract herself from him and put physical distance between them.
She was simply a coward who was hopelessly in love with him.
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E/n: I'm happy to explain anything you might be confused about, or hopefully my next part will explain/answer it.
>>> @queenelleee @mfreedomstuff @erintaro @callmeraider @chaotic-fangirl-blog @wolffmaiden @cloud-lyy
#haikyu x reader#haikyuu suna#suna smut#suna rintarou smut#suna x you#suna angst#suna x y/n#suna x reader#suna rintarou angst#suna rintarou x y/n
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Hero!Ghoap x God!Reader brainrot
this is mainly about ghoap cuz i didnt focus on them in the first post and they deserve love too!! and i wanna add backstory :33 based off this post i made and i think i want them to be childhood friends!! (its one of my favorite tropes im sorry </3)
once again this is just word vomit !! not my best but it must be shared :DD but also!! let me know if you have any ideas for what reader should be the god of cuz i really have no ideas and i wanna add more details to them!!
definingly have the vibe they would've meet by running into each other playing in a field when they were very young and just ended up sticking together. simon found comfort in johnny's presence and just sort of started following him everywhere he went with johnny just completely okay with dragging this boy around cuz!! he gets to have fun with his friend!! :DD sadly though they have to have reason to become fighters for plot reasons </33 their village gets destroyed, burnt and looted with few survivors left. theyre both distraught and angry with johnny openly wanting to track down the people behind the attack and fuck them up (simon too but hes silent about it) maybe johnny starts getting ready to start that hunt without telling anyone but simon can just read him perfectly and just pulls him aside to tell him that he's coming too.
I feel like along their hunt they would stop and take care of anyone that were causing issues, probably with just small trouble makers but as they become stronger and more experienced they deal with whole gangs of people (they end up getting the names ghost and soap along the way somehow) they become more renowned for their strength and victories that even cities far off know them!! im thinking the group that destroyed their village became an army and overconfident to the point of disrespecting the gods (probably not all but definitely some big ones) so when ghost and soap become bigger names they are given the upperhand with the backing of the gods who wish to put the group back into place. they basically get to the level of demigods !!
romance wise though,,, giggles,,, somewhere along their journey after a hard fight they would confess while patching each other up, the concern for each other far outweighing the fear of rejection <33 the gentle touch of making sure theyre still there and the whispers of love would be so soft after they know its a mutual love omg. their routines change a little afterwards too!! like simon giving johnny little trinkets to have in his pockets (probably something handmade when he cant sleep) and johnny braiding part of simon's hair before a fight (maybe he braids a piece of simon's hair into his own braid and his hair into simon's?)
I don't think they would actively worship one particular god? they would give offerings every so often as thanks for the blessing or in hope of getting some luck with something (finding info or just having good weather) but they are mainly on their own for the most part. yes they are favored more than others but it doesnt mean the gods really care about them yknow? they both know theyre just a means to an end for some of them :((
so when you start looking out for them theyre both just :OO you actually care about them outside of what they can do!! you help them with small things!! your watching eyes comfort simon when he cant sleep!! you guide johnny to peaceful areas for him to relax and draw at!! you send your associated animal to keep watch if they ever both crash after a fight!! they start to add stuff to their routines that relate to you in some way :33 making crafts of your symbols and having one with them for "good luck" or making a small spot for you at every camp they make or talking to you (aka the open air of your spot) about their plans and what they wanna do next!!
idk man brainrot and lack of sleep are getting to me!! im going to rotate these two in this au in my head for the next month ^-^
#clawing at the walls of my enclosure#me when men#catboy talks#simon ghost riley#simon ghost riley x reader#simon riley x reader#john soap mactavish#john soap mactavish x reader#john mactavish x reader#soap x reader#ghost x reader#ghoap x reader#cod mw2#cod x reader#unedited#not beta read#ghost x reader x soap#ghoap#soapghost
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On the Acceptance of Unsteady Ground
Throughout this whole dive into turtle world, I've been very conscious of just how LITTLE access to information I have. I'm relying so heavily on English translations and platforms, and most of these are from turtles, so I'm fully aware I'm getting a biased perspective.
I've tried to read stuff from solos or even just neutral third-parties. The neutral parties don't have much depth of information, though, and I found solos heavy on accusations and declarations but light on actual...evidence. And they sometimes use some really nasty rhetoric against the idea that gg and dd might be gay.
Don't get me wrong, turtles get weird too. There's plenty of clearly false rumors, deceptively edited videos, silly stretches of logic, weird ideas of what how people in a relationship would act, etc. But there's at least enough English-speaking turtles that I can find some who are giving open and, as far as I can tell, accurate information (honestly, I find tumblr turtledom better at that then other platforms). I haven't really found a similar pocket of solo fans.
I'm also aware that there's always going to be a limit on how much I can know. I don't speak the language, so I'm always relying on translators. I have limited access to Weibo (even putting aside the language barrier, I'm in text confirmation limbo in actually getting an account), and I have little familiarity with the culture. I don't get a lot of the jokes or references, and stuff may strike me, an English-speaking American, differently than it would someone in China.
Add on top of that the fact that I'm trying to find out purposely obscured information about two celebrities, and, yeah, I'm fully aware that I'm on unsteady ground here. I can do my best, but I'm never going to know anything for certain.
But I've become okay with that.
It took a while. The dissatisfaction with the unknown (and unknowable) is what drove a lot of my early fixation and subsequent fall into the turtle pit. But now, especially after laying out my thoughts, I've reached a zen place with it. I'm 100% certain ggdd were together during filming/promo, and I'm 95% certain they're still together (I had this at 85% originally, but then the whole dd being sick and gg changing his schedule thing happened and I'm just...welp, guess I'm in this confidence interval, then).
Just having that certainty means I can enjoy updates from them without anguishing about "proof" or uncertainty. Oh, gg took the day off on dd's birthday? That's really sweet! I'm not gonna fuss about if it's coincidence ENOUGH to convince me, because I'm already convinced. It's a good place to be.
I typically don't care about celebrities. In fact, I've long been bewildered by celebrity culture here in the US, and I've often been actively annoyed when people assume/expect me to have opinions on things celebrities do. I'm the nerd who doesn't get why the actors get all the attention when the writer or director would be much more interesting.
So the fact that I've gone all fangirlish over two celebrities is bizarre to me, and I appreciate the irony. Well done, me. I attribute some of it to just being able to watch the bts and see their early interactions play out like a story. I find stories compelling, and both gg and dd are charismatic, attractive and have great chemistry. Whatever disdain I have for celebs, I do love a romance.
In my foray into the ggdd world, though, I've also had to learn more about c-ent, and y'all. It's nuts. Like, US entertainment is nuts too, but c-ent ratchets it up to 11. I've been in fandom a long time, and I thought I'd seen some weird stuff, but it's got nothing on c-ent. Just wrapping my head around the culture these guys are in took a lot of learning.
But I appreciate being able to dive into this culture and this country, because I knew very little about China beyond the antagonistic politics. It's been refreshing to get a view on life on the ground in China to humanize the folks there and get a clearer picture of the country.
I started this thing bc I had been spending so much time on Youtube watching clips, and I had thoughts and opinions and nowhere to put them. I already had a tumblr that I use to lurk on some fandoms and I had started following turtles too. I figured tumblr would be a decent place to splurge out my thoughts, so I set up a throwaway account to do so.
I get the vibe that a lot of new turtles come to bjyx through the same route I took? They watch The Untamed on Netflix. They get curious about the show and start watching some clips on YT. Next thing you know, they have 3 playlists full of purported "proof of love" and they need a whiteboard to connect everything together and their wife thinks they've gone completely bonkers supports them in all their oddities.
Like, I was really confused by turtles at first. I was just trying to watch bts videos on YouTube and I didn't know what bjyx meant, but the videos with the label were weird and had strange disclaimers that they were "only for turtles" and I had no clue what that even meant.
My confusion continued as I tried to read more. The fake story disclaimer convention is hella confusing as an outsider, and my first impression was that turtles were kinda crazy. The videos I saw gave overviews of candies without context, and some of them explicitly said they were proof of Yizhan love while still having that fake story disclaimer. Basically, it was a big confusing environment, and it's why I resisted buying into bjyx so hard for so long. It all seemed delulu.
But in reading more, I guess part of that is the point? Recognizing that gg and dd are in a vulnerable position should their relationship ever come out, having so much noise to muddy the waters makes a twisted, clownish sense. I don't know who came up with that convention or if it just kinda happened (is it a normal thing in c-ent? I don't know enough about celebrity fandoms), but hats off, I guess.
With the supertopic recently hitting 4 million active fans, there's something heartening about such a depth of support for the guys. I'm not naive enough to think all 4 million (plus international fans) are allies to LGBT folk in general, but it surely means something to ggdd to have that sort of support for their relationship. Honestly, it means something to me, as a random gay chick on the other side of the world, to see a gay couple get that kinda of support behind them.
I started watching the bts because I was afraid there'd be a lot of cynical homophobia on the set or some evidence of all the male cast being icked out by the whole thing. Instead, I got gg, who was so passionate about WWX being gay. I love that everybody knew they were telling a love story with as explicitly as they could get away with. I love that the guys wanted more Wangxian scenes and that the cast and crew made "everyday is everyday" jokes in a non-mocking way. I'm glad that the whole shoot seemed like such a positive environment for the cast and crew to being themselves and tell a type of story that they may not be able to be involved with ever again.
So, yes, this is my zen turtle place. When I set up a soapbox for myself, I didn't think too much about the fact that people would respond, but I'm so grateful to have had a chance to talk to some other turtles! Everybody is lovely and thank you for sharing my enthusiasm.
Like I said in the beginning, I don't have the time to keep super-active in the long-term. I had intended to write up my thoughts and poof away. But I do also plan to keep up with gg and dd and turtles, so instead I'm just gonna leave off with the potential for further posts down the line.
I'm not gonna be incredibly active, so please don't expect frequent updates or interactions from me. But if I have more Yizhan thoughts I'll pop up again with a post (I mean, I do have lots more thoughts, but nothing energizing enough to write about), or I'll leave a comment somewhere if I have something I simply must say. I'm also open to responding to asks about the timeline or anything else. And if I ever do stumble across anything groundbreaking with regards to the timeline, I'll probably add that in, because I'm particular about things being complete.
So thanks for being so welcoming! It's been a joy to clown around and make up completely fictional stories with everybody here. 🤡🐢🙇🏼
#yizhan#bjyx#gg and dd keep being ridiculous and it makes me ridiculous#also always gonna read moar fanfic#rooting for them#waiting for that tell-all book
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Hey
What's your opinion on Error x Killer but in a classic→killer thing
Or just sillystring or just virusstreak (their ship names and I totally didn't make up the second one)
Also sorry I keep sending you asks but you're like the only person ever I don't feel extreme anxiety sending asks to Soo um yeah sorry
oooh honestly i haven’t thought of them in a romantic context all too much. i think they can be silly but i honestly prefer them more in a platonic “i’m going to annoy the fuck out of you” way, yk? or even “i’ll make fun of your boss bc i can and he is literally incapable of stopping my overpowered ass” way. they don’t like each other but they like to mess with each other, that’s how i personally see them.
in a classic -> killer way i’d still prefer them as not romantic in the end, but the angst potential is absolutely there. i view killer as, in a way, “worse” than dust in terms of how much he’s changed, you know? like out of all basic classic -> someone else variants, killer is the most changed while dust is the least i think. so on top of error now having to view killer as an anomaly, error would not be able to even see killer as classic in any real way because his personality changed so much. he still has classic’s looks, sure, but unlike dust, he’s not “reversible” or anything like the classic error liked.
it’s similar to how i view destructivedeath but in a much colder way, while error just no longer has an interest and would sulk about it for a good while rather than hurting from afar with an ache that will never leave like reaper would in the context of dd. especially because i cant fully imagine classicerror as sweet and soft or genuine lovers, more like a spur of the moment obsessive x obsessed over crackship that isn’t exactly toxic but the amount of lovebombing and kidnapping raises a good few eyebrows. i love error but he’s kind of a dick without realizing it. i can see classic -> killer being hurt by this though, like oh damn that. that was not actual love huh. oh uh. okay haha
were it not in a classic -> killer past romance way i could honestly see them working better? which is so weird but whatever. probably because without a past romance defining their relationship now, it’s easier to explore how their dynamic is with how killer is now as a person. because rather than the dynamic being past lover turned “unloveable” x insane asshole who cannot possibly love this new version of his lover due to his weird fucking philosophy, it’s crazy asshole with fucked up morals x insane manchild with fucked up morals and i sort of like that better. it’s more equal and doesn’t end up with one guy as a dick nobody likes and another guy on the verge of tears
also dw about asks!! i like them i think they’re fun. any asks i haven’t answered are bc they’re long and i need to figure out how to respond in a way that doesn’t annoy everyone on the plant, or bc i just haven’t had a good answer to give yet. i like asks theyre fun to do and anxiety is overrated let’s have fun
#this was probably a bit unintelligible huh#killer sans#error sans#virustreak#error x killer#classicerror#sans#undertale#utmv#sanscest
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Uhhhh so I decided my first attempt at a trolls fic would be a rewrite of the whole third movie because I'm Silly and I wanted to put JD x DD as like frenemies but romance but I ended up going heavy on the romance and it made me sad so I'm throwing it to the wolves for judgement
When John Dory had fallen into Delta Dawn's pod yet again, he hadn't expected to wake up with a ladybug on his chest.
He nudged her with his foot to wake her up. "Uh. DD."
She grumbled some alliterate curse at him, but rolled over and also saw the ladybug. "John, on my life if you don't get that vermin out of my bed I'll make you walk to the jailhouse in your underthings."
He picked it up, rolled out of bed and was about to put it on the floor when he got smacked upside the head. "Not on my floors neither', John, it's your woods' bug."
John sighed dramatically, waddling to the window with the bug held at arm's reach. "Could you get the window?"
Dawn opened the window latch and John tipped the insect up trying to fit it through, and he noticed the note. "It's a messenger ladybug?" He showed her the underside with eight squirmy legs and a note tied to it with a string. Dawn cringed but grabbed the note around its spindly legs and JD put it out the window. "Sheriff mail?"
She gave him a short look. "Yes, you snoop, now put on a shirt." She said, sitting herself down on the bed to read the letter.
JD threw on his leather jacket, before peeking over DD's shoulder at the note.
"Nothin' interesting, interloper." She teased, looking up at him. "A troll from Pop Village is missing, I'll up patrols for a little while, but it's already been a month - really, ladybugs for messengers.
Something in John's gut twisted, and he'd been following his gut for two decades without fail. "What's their name?"
She opened the letter again. "Branch. Dark blue hair, teal skin, dull coloured." She read, before looking back up at him.
John Dory froze. He felt his stomach twist in knots. "From Pop Village?"
"You look pale, darlin."
"Did it say anything about his disappearance?"
She put her hand on his shoulder, but went back to reading the letter. "Says he was taken from Pop Village by something, it left a trail to the big folks' road but no farther." She looked at him. "You know the troll?"
"He's my brother." John blurted before he could really think it through, leaning into Delta, eyeing the cardstock in her hand. "My baby brother."
"I'm sorry, darlin." She said very softly, wrapping her arm around his shoulder. "When are you leaving?"
"As soon as the market opens, I need to stock up."
"Any ideas where he could be?"
"Not yet, but it's Bitty, I'm sure I could… Maybe I could ask my other brothers for help."
DD sighed, but put her head on his. "Should I come along, interloper?"
JD let his eyelids droop. "I wish, but it seems a traveler can only ever chase the Dawn."
She snorted. "How on earth did I fall for a poet?" She pulled John further into her side. "Don't go chasing what's waiting for you, cowboy."
"If I didn't, how would I keep you on your hooves, Sheriff?"
She sighed, and both just enjoyed the warmth for a moment. "Be safe, you hear?"
"As safe as I usually am." John replied.
They waited for the market to open, for John to leave, in warm silence.
#dreamworks trolls#deltadory#Is that the ship name?#Also I like the term Interloper(affectionate)#Also if u wanna know more abt the fic lmn#Edit:#Perfume branch#He hates the perfume bottle so much actually#I get migraines from strong smells so He gets migraines from strong smells
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Hello! Can i req? Like spider noir in the modern world but you two are still students? Yeah like that (inspo by pavitr’s filipino headcannons)
HI ANON :DDD SURE THING BOO <333
(reblogs are greatly appreciated, it helps get my content out there! if you guys like what you see, please reblog it too <:D)
school days with spider noir (modern universe)
"morning." he greets you with a small grin on his face, his big gray and brown eyes staring into your own sleepy ones as you yawned and lazily waved him hello. he waved back at you and watched as you sat down on the table he was at, across from him. you folded your arms on the table and groaned.
"can't believe it's a monday..." you muttered as peter chuckled, folding his arms on the table as he continued gazing at you in this position. "yeah, well... at least i get to see you." he said with a blush that extended up to the tips of his ears.
you chuckled back and extended your hand on the table. "i guess that's the only good side to it." you said as peter extended his own hand towards you on the table. he placed his hand on top of yours at first, but then you took the initiative to interlock your fingers with his own. now you two were holding hands, with your arms folded on the table, being the first people at school.
peter grinned wider as his blush deepened. "...i love being early just for this." he confessed in a whisper. you smiled back with a slight blush on your own face. "yeah, so do i."
you two soon had to line up for the assembly, and unfortunately, you and peter were in separate classes this year. at least you and peter had admitted your feelings to each other over the summer, it made it much more convenient to hang out and spend the whole day with each other.
as the flood of students walked down the halls and to the assembly site, you and peter walked hand in hand with each other, with peter slightly gripping your hand a little tightly, so as not to lose sight of you. you smiled at how protective he can be sometimes.
you leaned closer to him as more students flocked around you two; gossiping, giggling, talking, shouting, doing homework by each other's lockers, going on their phones and all--the world around you two was oblivious to the romance you two had. and that was just how you both liked it, fading into the crowd and being allowed to love each other without any stares or pointing or sneers.
peter shuddered a little as he felt your head against his shoulder as you leaned against him. he looked down at you and sighed in contentment. "we are definitely gonna get busted for pda one of these days." he muttered. "what does pda mean again? oh, right, peter does my assignments for me." you teased him, and he his face flushed all over again.
"hey, i do not... well, for math, maybe. and your science homework, when you're really stumped. and..." he trailed off as he mentally went back on the subjects you asked him to help you with, but he ended up doing because he was so invested in it. you nudged him playfully and gave him a smirk. "such is the perk of dating this high school's biggest nerd." you said with a snicker and peter grinned and blushed deeper.
"okay, okay, fine... maybe i do end up doing your homework on more than one occasion." he said as you stopped walking when you ended up at your line. "guess this is my stop." you said as you tried to let go of his hand, but he didn't let go of yours yet. he ran his thumb over your knuckles. and in a flash, he kissed your hand, let go of it gently, and in one breath, told you, "haveagreatdaymylove," and ran off in a bashful bout.
oh how you loved him.
a/n: again, sorry this is so short, BUT I WANTED TO END IT HERE IT WAS JUST SO CUTEEEEE i wanted to add more, but i felt like this was a good way to end it ! if you guys want more, don't hesitate to ask :DD it might be slow in coming though so i'm sorry TT nevertheless, i hope y'all enjoyed it !!!
tags !! @thecoolerdor @miguelswifey04 @sabcandoit @binibinileonara @k4tsu3 @luvstarrstruck @connors-cumslurper @maxoloqy
#spider noir#spider noir x reader#spider noir x you#spider noir x y/n#spider noir x filipino reader#itsv imagines#itsv x filipino reader#itsv x reader#itsv x you#itsv x y/n
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hang your head low in the glow (pjs)
In this moment, you’re glad that you’re anchored in his lap, because otherwise you think you might float away into the night sky, on your way to join the stars in the cosmos. Jay is so crushingly sweet; sometimes, you just don’t know what to do with the weight of all his sincerity. For now, you settle for a fervent, “I like you so much.”
OR: A selection of moments in between the parentheses at the end of devils roll the dice, angels roll their eyes (some things may not make sense without reading that first, but it's up to you!).
PAIRING: park jongseong x female reader
GENRE: established relationship, fwp (fluff without plot), no like seriously this is just straight up fluff and romance and making out with scant narrative
WARNINGS: swearing, kms/kys jokes, kissing and suggestive content/sexual themes
WORD COUNT: 10k (derogatory)
to all the boys i’ve fake-dated before (you, jay, sunghoon, yeonjun, chan, vernon, mark, and 5 others)
jay: peace out losers (except for my REAL gf whom i adore and cherish)
*jay has left the chat*
sunghoon: omfg no way???? jay bitchless era no more?
you: are u calling me a bitch
sunghoon: NOOOO i would never haha btw do u still talk to my sister
you: yeah
sunghoon: right so i’m just ur humble liege
chan: congrats, you two! well i guess jay can’t see this
you: i will accept your congratulations on his behalf :DD i’m really happy you guys
mark: stop i’ll cry
vernon: no rly i’m next to him rn and he’s tearing up
mark: they deserve it so much!!! after everything i put them through
you: excuse me it was mostly me
you: all jay did was orchestrate an elaborate scheme to get you and mina together (okay so he did a lot)
you: but we ALL participated
you: and i had to pretend to DATE you
mark: only for like two hours!!!!
yeonjun: wait this reminds me i’ve always wanted to know what ur ranking of us as fake bfs would be
you: in first place: park jongseong
yeonjun: and then?
yeonjun: hello??????
“Can I ask you something?”
Jay turns his head to you. “Of course, baby.”
Baby. Hearing it still makes you all silly and giddy, though it’s been four days since you started dating him for real and hearing it all the time. Baby, doll, Cinderella, mine. He sure has a way with words. You clear your throat, hoping that your voice won’t crack when you say, “Why were you so weird about the fake-dating thing in the beginning?”
He makes a face at you. “What do you mean, weird? You’re telling me you thought I was weird about it, even after you had to endure Sunghoon?”
“Sunghoon was just awkward. Really awkward, but still. You stalked me to my front door—”
“Your front door is, like, 90 seconds from mine.”
“— and walked with me to Nat’s at a glacial pace, while not saying a word. And then we talked for an hour about random stuff before you promised to help Mark with Mina, even though you weren’t sure you wanted my help. Why were you so weird about it all?”
“Pretty girls make me nervous?” He offers you a winning smile.
“Flattery won’t get you everywhere, Park Jongseong.”
“Yeah, but it’s getting me somewhere, isn’t it?” He rolls all the way over to hover above you and then dips so low that the pendant on his necklace swings in front of your face. The two of you had escaped the party in the frat’s basement after it had gotten too hot down there; Jay said he “knew a spot”, which made you laugh when it turned out to just be his bedroom. But then he pushed open his window and coaxed you out onto the flat roof, and that’s where you had settled on your back, gazing up at a cloudless sky, scattershot through with faint stars.
Well, you were gazing up at the stars— now, Jay occupies your line of sight, and he’s all smiles and hearts in his eyes. It’s not an unwelcome substitute.
Your hand slips between your bodies so you can rub your fingers over the pendant on his necklace; you laugh when you realize what it is. “J as in Jay? Like T as in Troy?”
He huffs, rolling off of you to sit back on his heels. “No, J as in Jopping. Yes, J as in Jay!”
You hold your hands up, still laughing as you sit up to face him. “Okay, okay, sorry! Didn’t realize my boyfriend was also a preppy high school girl.”
He rolls his eyes even as he pulls you into his lap. These days, he’s hopelessly afflicted with must-be-close-to-my-girlfriend syndrome. “I have layers, Cinderella. Like an onion.”
“... Are you paraphrasing Shrek?”
Jay flicks at the tip of your nose. “You know, it reveals just as much about you as it does about me that you caught the reference.”
“You’re not helping yourself in the high school girl category,” you tease, but it’s all syrupy sweet fondness, punctuated by a playful tug at his reddening ear.
He turns his head to kiss the inside of your wrist. “Do you want to hear my answer or not?”
You nod and straighten your spine with your hands folded neatly against your chest; the picture of propriety, if it weren’t for your legs straddling his waist as he leans back on his hands. “Yes, please.”
“I was… sussing you out, I guess. You know why I wanted to bring someone to my parents, but I couldn’t just bring anyone. I wanted to get to know you a little better, to see if you were someone I could actually see myself wanting to be with, because anything less would be a disservice to my parents. I didn’t want your help if I couldn’t confirm that you were the real thing. And then I saw how patient but also no-nonsense you were with Mark, and how quickly you were willing to help with a frankly crazy plan, and you just… felt right. You felt right to me; you felt like the real thing.” Jay blushes, ducking his head to avoid your gaze. Everything he said is true, of course, and he doesn’t regret telling you any of it, but saying it out loud like this makes his heart feel like it’s going to fall out of his chest.
In this moment, you’re glad that you’re anchored in his lap, because otherwise you think you might float away into the night sky, on your way to join the stars in the cosmos. Jay is so crushingly sweet; sometimes, you just don’t know what to do with the weight of all his sincerity. For now, you settle for a fervent, “I like you so much.”
Jay’s confidence comes back like a boomerang. He leans up and catches your hands in his, draping your arms around his neck before gliding his hands up and down your back. “Who’s flattering who, now?”
You shrug. “Where’s it gonna get me, gorgeous?”
“Well, only because you called me gorgeous.” And then he’s kissing you, lush and lovely.
Fall trickles into winter, and there are final exams and goodbyes to your friends before you and Jake leave on a two-week trip to see your family in Australia. You and Jay FaceTime almost every day; he complains about getting pasty staying indoors in the cold while you’re out tanning on white sand beaches.
“Should I fly out there?” he muses one day close to the end of your trip. “You could be, I dunno, in danger! Because of the sun. No one to help you put sunscreen on your back… or check that you’ve applied enough on your legs… or your chest… It’s really important, you know. Skin cancer awareness.”
You laugh. “Thanks for the PSA, baby. I’m coming back in a few days, though, so I think I’ll be okay.”
Jay sighs mournfully. “I’m not. I miss you.”
“I miss you, too,” you confess. Living across the street from each other at school and seeing him in person almost every day for the past few months has spoiled you.
“I miss you, too,” Jake mimics beside you. You’re in an Uber on the way to dinner with your parents, so you can’t commit much physical violence against him, but you do punch his shoulder.
Jay pipes up with, “Was that Jake’s voice I heard?”
You glare at your twin before popping out your earbuds to put the call on speakerphone. “Unfortunately.”
“Yo, what’s up, my man!” Jake cheers, shoving his face into view of the camera.
Jay and Jake chatter about some game they started playing with Heeseung, and you have to admit that you’re really happy about how well you and Jay have integrated into each other’s lives and communities. Of course, Jake had never been a big concern; secretly, you think he loves that his best friend is dating his sister. You’re two of his favorite people in the world, though he’ll only admit it when he’s four shots in.
Soon, you approach the restaurant, and you have to say goodbye to Jay. He encourages you to keep sending videos of Jake falling into the ocean while surfing, which prompts a loud bout of complaining from Jake.
“You better not have shown that to anyone else,” Jake grumbles.
“Yunjin loved it,” you remark casually, just so you can laugh loudly when he jolts in his seat and turns to you with panicked eyes.
He whisper-shouts, “Why would you say that word? And why the fuck would you send it to her?”
“What word— love? Oh my god, grow up. And she asked for updates on you.” Your eyebrows furrow. “I think she missed you, or something.”
“She did?” Jake beams; he’s entirely a different man now. “What else did she say about me?”
You point at him accusingly. “You have a lot of questions for someone who claims that they’re just buddies with my girl Jen. Which, again— grow up. Anyways, Jay, we have to go, but we’ll see you soon! Love you!”
“Love you, baby. And you, too, Jake,” Jay adds, before Jake can whine.
A few days later, you’re finally reunited with Jay at the big New Year’s Eve party his family throws every year. The Parks always get to host the last party of the holiday season; you’re excited to experience it with Jay for the first time.
An hour before the party is set to start, you let yourself into the Park estate and make your way surreptitiously to Jay’s room. His back is turned to you when you open the door slowly, and you stop for a moment to just drink in the sight of him, comfy and cozy in a cable-knit quarter zip sweater— the definition of huggable. Quickly, you sneak in and wrap your arms around his waist. “Hey, handsome.”
Jay cranes his neck around to look at you. “Hey! You’re here early.”
You let go of him so he can turn around and hug you back properly. “Couldn’t wait to see you,” you confess.
“Thank god.” He drops his head into the crook of your neck and inhales deeply. “Mm, the world is finally rightside up again.”
You laugh softly. “We are so dramatic.”
“Unavoidable for hot people,” Jay reasons. He pulls back up to wink at you; it’s so cheesy that you have to hold your hands up to his face to avoid looking at him. He laughs outright, and the return of that sound so close to your ears— as opposed to through the phone across an ocean— makes you smile uncontrollably wide.
“I really missed you,” you murmur. Finally, finally, he leans in and kisses you. It starts as something innocent and comforting, then quickly gets subsumed into fire and passion. You fist your hands into the collar of his sweater, hauling him closer to you with an enthusiasm that makes his fingers dig into your waist.
“Missed you so much. Missed this so much,” he says, right before sliding his tongue against yours. Soon, he transitions to sucking your bottom lip into his mouth, breathing a litany of love you, love you, love yous into you. The kiss is so deep it makes you go lightheaded, and when you separate for air, the sound of your mouth parting from his elicits a faint pop that makes you shudder. He’s considerate enough to back off briefly for you to catch your breath, though he doesn’t make it easy. “Pretty, so pretty,” he whispers against your cheek.
You have to close your eyes to calm yourself down. Right now, you think you could power a whole city with the desire that vibrates underneath your skin. “As much as I want to keep going,” you begin, already doomed with how hoarse your voice is, “I think you have to start getting ready.” The way your fingers pull at the zipper of his sweater is wholly unconvincing.
He sighs and straightens up to rest his chin on the top of your head. “I should really learn how to reconfigure the time-space continuum. Time needs to stop when I’ve got my girl with me.”
You hum in agreement, curving around him slightly to scrape your teeth over the birthmark on his neck and grinning when he hisses into your ear. “You’re a smart guy; I’m sure you’ll figure it out,” you offer, continuing to tug at his zipper until you’re met with the end of the quarter zip. A frustrated sound escapes your throat at the obstacle.
“What’s your new year’s resolution?” Jay asks suddenly.
“What?” You blink hazy eyes at him; he has to pinch his own wrist behind your back to fight the urge to kiss you again.
“Just trying to kill the mood so I don’t go out there with a hard-on,” he explains, half bashful and half serious. “I have to make a speech, you know.”
“Thanks for coming, everyone! Hope you had a great last year, and here’s to an even better new year. There, speech done.” You withdraw your hands from his sweater to make jazz hands at him. “Wow, I’m such a speedy speechwriter! With all this extra time, we should keep going.”
“Brilliant,” he says dryly. “But you were right before; I do have to get ready.”
You frown and rest your cheek against his chest. “Past me was such a cockblock.”
Jay chuckles. “So, tell me, what is your new year’s resolution?”
Your eyes drift to the offending sweater in your peripheral vision. “Throw out all of your sweaters.”
“Very noble of you.”
“And get into grad school,” you say, more serious now.
“They’d be crazy not to take you for the Rhodes, baby.” Jay presses a final kiss to the top of your head. “I, um. I already asked to start in the London office of the company.”
You whip your head up so fast you almost give yourself whiplash. “Really?”
“Really. I want to be wherever you are.” He smiles so tenderly at you that your heart breaks and then mends itself back together in an instant; shattered and restored all at once by the strength of his devotion.
Sadly, there’s only so much time you can spend swooning at your boyfriend (Jay’s right; you do have to learn how to reconfigure the time-space continuum). He truly does have to give a speech soon, so he starts getting changed, pulling his sweater over his head and swearing when it gets stuck on the wire frame of his glasses.
You laugh a little breathlessly at him, distracted by the strip of toned stomach revealed by his current position with his arms stuck above his head in his sweater. “My last new year’s resolution is to close the gyms,” you announce, finally moving into action to help him unspool the yarn of his sweater from his glasses.
“All of them?” His voice comes out muffled from inside his sweater before it’s over his head at last, and he’s shirtless in front of you.
You drag your fingertips from the top of his waistband to the warm skin of his sternum. “Especially the ones you go to. You’re too tempting like this.”
He shivers at your touch but still manages to smirk when he says, “Just for you, doll.”
You groan. “Seriously, don’t call me that if you want to make it out there in time for your speech.”
“We should get rid of speeches, too,” he declares. He eyes the top of your fingers against his chest forlornly. “But I guess I’ll have to give the last one. Now, for real, tell me something extremely unsexy.”
You quip, “To help you get flaccid?”
He wrinkles his nose. “Excellent work; we’re headed in the right direction.”
Your phone vibrates with a barrage of texts at that moment, which you check as Jay disappears into his walk-in closet to get dressed. It looks like your friends have arrived, and they’ve brought your outfit with them (you had come straight from the airport, dressed in leggings and a sweatshirt from high school). You tell Jay just as much, raising your voice slightly to be heard in the other room. “I’m gonna go get my stuff and change!”
He sticks his thumb out the door of the walk-in closet, pointing it upwards in assent. He assumes you saw it when he hears the door close, and then his phone goes off as well, inundated with a flood of texts from his newly arrived friends.
hsm 3’s most underrated song: the boys are back (heeseung, jay, jake, sunghoon, jungwon, and sunoo)
jake: alright i have to k*ll myself
sunoo: why r u censoring all of a sudden
jake: i don’t want my fbi agent to take that seriously. although i do wanna kms
jungwon: why what happened
sunghoon: oh it’s HILARIOUS
jake: stfu
jake: so there’s eggnog being passed around right? and i see yunjin so i go to hand her a cup to be nice
heeseung: ~to be nice~
jake: kys
jake: anyways then i realize that the cup was really hot so i go and blow on her drink, like a fucking weirdo, and then i blow on SUNGHOON’S drink to make it seem less weird, except he’s drinking a HIGH NOON like an absolute idiot
sunghoon: hey i got the bartender to put it into a nice glass at least
sunoo: that’s my big (derogatory)
jay: perpetual bachelors jake and sunghoon! who’s surprised
sunghoon: NOT true i’m pretty sure the student government’s social media chair was flirting with me in the library before finals
jungwon: ??? wonyoung is a lesbian
jungwon: and she was just asking u to get out of the way bc u were spacing out in front of the printer
heeseung: L + me personally i’d kms
sunghoon: oh i know YOU are not talking
sunghoon: lee “the only time i feel the touch of a woman is when i go to yoga class at the university gym once a week” heeseung
heeseung: THE WOMAN WHO TEACHES IT IS HOT OKAY
sunghoon: oh heeseung mommy kink era?
heeseung: SHE IS MY AGE
sunoo: shouldn’t u be more concerned about breaking ur back every time ur there, grandpa?
heeseung: uncalled for wtf
heeseung: also tbh i wish SHE would break my back
jake: okay i’ve recovered from my earlier embarrassment. upon seeing what heeseung is texting, i’m thinking what i did wasn’t that weird
sunoo: bffr
jungwon: jake why don’t u just ask her out? instead of being emotionally constipated
jake: ew why would i ask her out i don’t want to be in a relationship that’s for pussies (respectfully) (i love women)
jungwon: yeah that’s definitely super emotionally mature of u
sunghoon: it’s 2023 pussy is a gender-neutral term
jay: you rly just say whatever the hell you want don’t you
sunoo: oh hey i see felix flirting with yunjin
jake: WHAT
jake: suddenly i have to go
sunoo: u r literally so pathetic
jay: btw i’m coming down now but if any of you see my gf before i do can you tell her she can change in my room
jake: gross
jay: GROW UP + stay single + kys
heeseung: GET HIS ASS
Jay’s idiot friends aside (he loves them so much), he actually is looking forward to seeing a bunch of his classmates and their families at tonight’s holiday party. Senior year seems to have crept up on him unannounced, and now he’s feeling slightly (a lot) sentimental about the idea of not living down the hall or at most across the campus from all the people who have made the last few years so formative (and entertaining as hell).
He’s still thinking about how much he’s going to miss that place and those people when he hears your voice floating down from the top of the staircase. It sounds like you’re arguing with Kazuha about how many jello shots is too many for the after-party of the next phase of new member initiation at your sorority, which makes him chuckle quietly to himself. With four humanities and fine arts majors between the two of you, neither of you sound like you have the correct math.
He opens his mouth, ready to give his two cents, but then he freezes at the sight of you descending the stairs. Vaguely, he processes the fact that Kazuha seems to have stopped arguing and even stopped coming down the stairs herself, just so she can give you two this moment.
This moment, which is making his brain short-circuit, because you are incandescent in a slinky, silvery dress that reflects all the candles that he’s now glad his parents made him light around the place. Countless points of light impart an otherworldly glow upon you, and you’re smiling at him; Jay thinks he must have saved the country in a past life.
When you reach him at the bottom of the stairs and he still hasn’t said anything, you tilt your head quizzically. “Jay? Everything alright?”
“You look like you just stepped out of a fairytale,” he breathes out. He moves on autopilot, bending at the waist as he takes your hand and kisses the top of it before straightening up to simply look at you some more.
“And right into the arms of my Prince Charming,” you respond, only half-joking. Right now, the dreamy look in his eyes makes you want to believe in happily ever after, as if it’s something he could forge with his own two hands. You kind of think he could, with the force of all his ardor.
Multiple phone cameras going off breaks the two of you out of your spell; you turn towards your nosy friends, who hold up variations of thumbs-ups and finger hearts.
“Sorry, you guys are just too cute,” Yunjin says, not sounding sorry at all.
“Your parents would never forgive me if I didn’t get that on camera,” Sunghoon insists.
“Speaking of, I gotta go find them to make sure everything’s set.” Jay kisses your cheek. “See you later, Cinderella.” His fingers hold onto yours until the last second; your arm and his stretch out absurdly, as if you were parting for years, not minutes.
“So dramatic,” Kazuha teases, joining you at the bottom of the staircase.
“Unavoidable for hot people,” you explain wryly. You turn your attention to your gathered friends next. “I’m so glad you’re all here!”
“In 50 years, you could be hosting this party,” Sakura quips. Secretly, you hope it’s a lot sooner than that.
“New Year’s Eve on Mars?” Jake suggests.
Heeseung groans. “I’m scared of heights; can we not?”
“How many times do I have to tell you, dude, that’s not how space works!”
Half an hour passes happily like that, chatting and joking with some of your favorite people in the massive foyer. You don’t know exactly where Jay went off to, but the answer to that becomes clear when the music goes low and Jay clears his throat into the microphone set up at the front of the foyer.
“Thanks for coming, everyone! Hope you had a great last year, and here’s to an even better new year.” Jay pauses to chuckle. “My girlfriend and I were joking earlier about me just saying that and calling it a night, but unfortunately for all of you, I am much more verbose than that.” Another pause for a light round of laughter from the gathered crowd.
Jay works the audience like a pro as you watch with unbridled pride. A few minutes later, he winds down to the end of his prepared remarks, which you only know because he has asked you to proofread the speech weeks ago. You’re expecting him to wrap up with a final Happy New Year!, so you’re surprised to hear him keep going.
“A couple of last things. To my parents, and everyone at the company, thank you for putting your trust in me.” Jay bows deeply. “I won’t let you down next year.” He straightens and looks right at you. “This year has been nothing short of wonderful. I’ve been so lucky my whole life, but the last few months have been particularly special to me. I’ve gotten to know people who I want to continue knowing for the rest of my life, who make me feel like my heart is too big for me, because I couldn’t possibly fit all of the kindness and love they give to me in the confines of my chest. I don’t know what I did to deserve it, but I do know that my life would be bereft without it.” Jay has to tear his eyes from yours because he knows he’s liable to cry if he sees you do so. “Bereft without you,” he continues, sweeping his gaze across the foyer. “All of you, who I’m so glad to call my friends and family. So, please stay healthy and happy this year, and I hope the new year treats you as well as this year has treated me. Happy New Year, everyone!”
Champagne glasses clink around you and people applaud, but all of it sounds far away. The only thing you can focus on is Jay, who’s making his way slowly through the throng of well-wishers to get to you.
When he’s finally in front of you, you have your misty eyes under control. He drops his hands to your waist and smiles gently. “Hi, pretty lady.”
“Hello, my favorite hopeless romantic.” Your palm goes to the sharp curve of his jaw. “You just had to go and say such sweet things. What’s gonna happen to my cool and unbothered reputation?”
“Right, your reputation.” He leans into your touch. “I can think of other ways to ruin your reputation,” he remarks, low and rough.
You roll your eyes, although you can’t stop your other hand from curling into the lapel of his suit jacket. “Romantic and horny! Duality of man.”
“I meant what I said, you know.” His eyes soften at you. “You’re the best thing that’s happened to me this year. Maybe ever. I have a lot of great people in my life, but only one you.”
“I know. You always mean what you say, and I love that about you.” You lean in to press a quick kiss to his mouth. He chases after you, tipping your chin up with his hand to kiss you deeper. Sadly, it doesn’t last for too long; you’re both aware that your friends and their parents are nearby.
But later, Jay makes sure to kiss you from this year into the next one, and you hope that you never forget what it feels like— fireworks exploding above your head and in your veins, lighting you up from within. Radiant, in the glow of someone who loves and is loved.
girlbossing soooooooo close to the sun (you, yunjin, chaewon, kazuha, and sakura)
yunjin: do u think it’d be weird if i got jake something for valentine’s day
you: yes extremely
sakura: don’t ask me i’m gay
yunjin: ???
yunjin: okay thx guys this was super helpful!
chaewon: i thought you weren’t dating?
yunjin: WE MIGHT AS WELL BE. i’m sick of waiting for him to actually ask me out
you: jokes aside, i think he’s really into you, like genuinely. but his head is so far up his ass he will never make the first move
sakura: boooooo emotionally repressed playboy how cliche
kazuha: omg u should try to do something romantic
yunjin: absolutely not i can’t be a SIMP
sakura: boooooo emotionally repressed maneater how cliche
yunjin: WHATEVER
yunjin: more importantly, what are we doing for galentine’s!!!!
kazuha: spa day i thought?
you: yes but i have to leave a little early :(( sorry ladies the community kitchen is doing a pre-valentine’s day dinner and jay and i are signed up to help
chaewon: i can’t even be mad at you that is SO CUTE
Jay gets sick in the week leading up to Valentine’s day, which puts a spanner in the works of his grand plans for your first Valentine’s together. You tell him that it’s not a big deal and he should just focus on resting and getting better, but that doesn’t stop him from moping about it.
mother is mothering (you, niki, and jungwon)
you: can i just say that this gc name is not helping to put to rest the joke that jay and i are ur parents
you: also i Don’t think u guys know what this phrase means…
you: but anyways what’s up… children
niki: pleaseeeeee fix jay hyung
jungwon: fr we’re desperate
jungwon: he’s been playing sad john mayer songs for like three days straight I CANT LIVE LIKE THIS ANYMORE
niki: he called the coffee shop yesterday to see if we could set up a valentine’s day surprise for u
niki: we can’t, so i’m not ruining the surprise
niki: but he literally had such detailed plans for the surprise like WE R JUST PART-TIMERS
you: omg… my bf is so cute :(
jungwon: that is SO not the point actually that’s like the exact opposite of the point
you: dw i was gonna come over today after the community kitchen’s pre-valentine’s day dinner anyways
jungwon: THANK GOD
niki: YAY can u ask jay to help me with research material for my history paper btw
you: ask him urself?
niki: i’m scared he’s going to rope me into some other crazy plan to make it up to u for ruining ur valentine’s day plans
niki: which sounds like a HIM problem??? why is he getting ME, a CHILD, involved
you: oh so ur a child now but not when u want to sneak into frat parties
jungwon: omg SAY IT LOUDER FOR THE PPL IN THE BACK
you: jungwon i know ur the one who helps him sneak in
jungwon: haha. love u mom :)
you: IM NOT UR MOM
you: btw i’m bringing back extra vegetables from the community kitchen and i expect u to eat them! jay mentioned u were stressed lately and not eating well
jungwon: okay ty… not-mom
It’s almost 10pm by the time you get to the frat house, bundled in your winter coat and weighed down with containers of food. You leave one in the fridge, labeled with a note that says “for jungwon— eat this or niki will forever be taller than you”. You take everything else with you to Jay’s room, pausing at the door when you realize you don’t even know if he’ll be awake or if he’s still sleeping off his illness.
The door swings open before you have the chance to knock, and you’re met with the sight of Jay in a bathrobe, shower caddy in hand. “I must be hallucinating,” he mutters.
You hold back a laugh. “Nope, you’re still in the land of the lucid. I brought you some food, and I figured we could watch something while we eat. Go shower; I’ll set up.”
Jay blinks rapidly. “Oh my god, you’re really here?” He drops the shower caddy to the floor carelessly, moving forward to hug you before he halts abruptly, inches away from you. “Wait, no, you shouldn’t be here. I don’t want you to get sick, too.”
“It’s been, like, five days. I don’t think you’re contagious anymore,” you argue, sidling past him to drop your stuff into his room.
“Really?” The hopefulness in his voice makes your heart melt.
“Really. I’ll ask Heeseung to ask his special friend to confirm, if that will make you feel better,” you offer.
Jay's eyebrows furrow. “We should probably stop calling her that, but yes, that would make me feel better. Ask while I shower, but seriously, I’m not touching you if she says no.”
You salute him. “On it, captain.” Heeseung’s special friend is the girl who teaches one of the yoga classes at the university gym, and she’s also a nursing student. She has a name, but Heeseung refuses to tell any of you what it is. Truthfully, it wouldn’t be hard to look her up, but you think it’s kind of cute how nervous Heeseung is about whatever liminal space he’s in with her.
you: hey can u ask the love of ur life if it’s okay for me to be with jay rn?
heeseung: first of all DONT CALL HER THAT second of all why tf would she have an opinion on that
you: i wouldn’t have to call her that if u would tell us HER NAME
you: and jay came down w/ that nasty virus like five days ago remember
heeseung: oh my goddddd yeah he wouldn’t stop whining about how his valentine’s day plans were ruined
you: ur special friend is in nursing right? so can u ask her
heeseung: i’m starting to think i should tell u her name just so u stop coming up with new ways to refer to her
you: that’s what I'M saying
heeseung: but yeah sure anything to get jay to stop being so annoying
you: thank uuuuu i’ll leave u some cookies in the kitchen so give some to her okay?
heeseung: omfg u made COOKIES i am so glad jay is dating u
Ten minutes later, Heeseung texts to let you know that you’re probably in the clear. More specifically, he says that his friend says it’s ultimately best practice to stay away from Jay for another couple of days, but she thinks the two of you are so cute and she gets why you’d want to be with him, and you’re outside of the most contagious window now, anyways.
You figure that’s close enough to a yes, which is what you tell Jay when he returns from his shower. He’s at your side in an instant, hugging you like his life depends on it. “I’m sorry,” he whispers eventually.
“What on earth for?”
“Our first Valentine’s is going to be so lame, just because I got sick.” He sighs deeply. “I wanted to make it special for you, especially because you’re always running around helping everyone, and instead you’re here, taking care of me.”
“Jay.” You pull back from his chest to look at him. “Nothing is lame, and nothing is ruined, okay? It’s literally just a day. And you always make me feel special. Being with you is like— ahem.” You cringe at the words that are about to come out of your mouth; Jay is always effusive and free-wheeling with his declarations of affection towards you, but it doesn’t come as easily to you. The way you feel about him makes you want to try, though. “Being with you is like Valentine’s Day every day.”
He smiles gently at you, one dimple carving a crescent into his left cheek. “You deserve it, baby. And even if you didn’t, I’d still want to give that to you.”
The two of you stand like that for a while, swaying underneath the unattractive lighting in Jay’s room. His hair starts to drip onto your shoulder, though, and you remember that you need to go back down to the kitchen to set aside the cookies you promised Heeseung.
“Why does Heeseung get to have some of the cookies you made for me?” Jay pouts.
“Troll bridge toll I felt compelled to pay, all because you wanted a second medical opinion,” you respond dryly.
“I’m supposed to believe you were the first? And I’m telling Heeseung you called him a troll.”
“Keep that up and you won’t be getting any cookies, Park.”
Of course, you feed him a cookie as soon as you’re back in his room. Jay has changed into his pajamas while you were away, and he points to another set he’s laid out for you after he’s done eating the cookie. Once you get changed, you settle on the rug in front of Jay’s bed and start an obscure history documentary together while eating the food you brought him. You warn him that it won’t be as good as what he makes (you are a far better baker than you are a cook). Undeterred, he makes an exaggerated effort to fawn over every dish and praise your skills.
Afterwards, you sit on the edge of his bed and let him lean his head on your lap as you blow dry his hair. “I heard you were being a pain in the ass this week about Valentine’s Day,” you mention.
“That… is a distinct possibility, for sure.”
“Seriously, I think you scared away all of Niki’s coworkers. He wants your help with research for his history paper, by the way. Oh, that reminds me— what’s the name of your group chat with Niki and Jungwon?”
Jay grimaces. “Glucose father slay.”
You suppress a snort. “That’s… creative, if unsubtle.”
He hums contentedly from the just-right warmth of the hairdryer and the just-right softness of your hands. “We’ll get to have lots of Valentine’s Days together, right?”
"Of course, baby."
When it hits midnight, you’re curled up together in his bed, with his laptop still playing the credits of the history documentary. You enter February 14th like that, tucked under his chin, exactly where you want to be.
On one of the first randomly hot days that pop up in late March before the weather actually gets warmer, you’re holed up in the library, eyes aching after staring at the tiny text in ancient manuscripts for too long and shivering in the temperature-controlled special collections section of the library. While the rest of your friends are out at the college’s golf course enjoying the warm weather at a joint charity tournament, you’re stuck here, beholden to the block in your calendar which says “manuscript time :/”. The rare manuscripts you need for your thesis are only available to be looked at during certain times, but today’s research session has proven to be less than fruitful, given how often your eyes wander to the door to the exit and how empty your notes are.
You can feel yourself dozing off for the umpteenth time when suddenly, warm hands land on top of your shoulders, and a smooth voice murmurs in your ear, “Working hard or hardly working, Cinderella?”
Jay. You turn your head to meet his gaze; crescents of affection reflect back at you. “How’d you get in here?” Appointments are usually required for the rare manuscripts room.
He flashes you a smirk. “Charmed the librarian.”
“Wow, I didn’t know you pulled with the 40-and-up demographic like that.”
“Yeah, I told her I missed my girlfriend so much I’d cry if I couldn’t see her today.” He drops a kiss to your cheek, then maneuvers the chair next to you sideways and backwards so he can sit as close to you as possible. He crosses his arms on top of the back of the chair and rests his chin against his arms to stare at you, soft and beckoning. “You look like you want to leave.”
You sigh and turn fully sideways towards him, letting his long legs bracket yours while your knees push up against the back of his chair. “You look like a reason to leave,” you admit. It comes out breathy in a way that you hadn’t intended, but who can blame you— Jay is dressed for the golf tournament in a navy blue polo and crisp white slacks, and as always, his clothes fit like they were made for him.
In the back of your mind, you make a note to ask where he gets his tailoring done. In the front of your mind, your attention roams from the clean line of his shirt sleeves against his biceps, to the inviting curve of his mouth, to the planes of his chest that peek out behind the top two undone buttons of his shirt. All these months later, looking at him still hasn’t gotten old; truthfully, you don’t think it ever will.
“Whatcha thinkin’ about?” Jay inquires, peering closer at you with a sly grin on his face.
“Like you have to ask,” you grumble, reaching out to pinch his cheek in retaliation for the teasing question.
He grabs your hand before it reaches him and gently bites the tip of your index finger, laughing when you make an offended face and pull your hand back. “C’mon, let’s get out of here, yeah? We should at least make an appearance at the tournament we organized.”
You glance back at the heavy tomes you’ve pulled out today— pages and pages of dense Middle English to get through. Then, you look at Jay, who has chosen that moment to skate his fingertips up and down the top of your right thigh. The decision is almost comically easy to make. “Yeah, fuck this. Let’s go.”
You dutifully return your books and say a polite goodbye to the librarian, who coos at you both. Jay waves your joined hands at her. On your way out to the main section of the library, goosebumps form on your arms from the change in temperature: arctic vortex to plain old frigid, both of which are wholly inhospitable environments for the sleeveless golf dress you’d worn today in hopes of eventually getting to the tournament.
“Cold?” Jay halts you both and sweeps his hands across your shoulders and down to your wrists, frowning at the chill he encounters on your skin. Normally, he’d offer you his jacket or sweater or something, but he just has the shirt on his back today. “This won’t do,” he murmurs, and then he’s pulling you in the direction of the secluded stacks.
It’s dark and shadowy there, with not a single soul occupying any of the carrel desks spaced in between the rows of books. Your heartbeat picks up despite yourself; you think you have a good idea of where this is going. This is also something that hasn’t gotten old yet and likely never will. “You know, I’ve always thought it would be kind of hot to hook up in a library,” you comment.
Jay trips over air, then quickly rights himself and shakes his head as if to clear it before looking at you again. “You would, you nerd,” he says, but it comes out low and contemplative.
As soon as you reach the carrel desk located in the most isolated corner of the stacks, he brings his hands to your waist and lifts you up to sit on top of the desk. Happily, you hook your ankles behind his legs and draw him in to stand between yours. “You can’t tell me you weren’t thinking the same thing.”
“I just wanted to kiss you for a bit, so you could warm up,” Jay insists. He leans in closer, until your chests are pressed up against each other. “But now that we’re here…”
“Now that we’re here,” you agree. Then you’re tilting forward to kiss him, and the tension in your body from a long morning at the library dissipates into the heat of his mouth and the softness of his hair.
Jay kisses you long and luxuriously, like he was born to do nothing but stand around and kiss you. “You did so well with planning the tournament,” he tells you in between kisses, smothering the words against your mouth.
“You did, too,” you reply, dispensing the compliment in airy gasps against his ear as he moves down to your neck, feathering open-mouthed kisses against the skin there. A whimper escapes from your throat when he bites down at the juncture of your neck and your clavicle, transforming into a breathy moan as he soothes over the sting with his tongue. His name slips out of your mouth in a dragged-out whine: “Jongseong.”
He shudders against you. “Warn a guy before you do that, will you? I don’t actually want to come in my pants in the library.”
You giggle, tugging his head back so you can look at him. You’re met with shiny lips, slow-blinking eyes that drag up and down your body, and tousled hair, messed up from Jay’s meticulous styling by your wandering hands. Temptation, personified. “Fuck,” you breathe out. “What if I do?”
“You’re not wearing pants,” Jay points out cheekily. His demeanor switches to sultry in an instant when he presses down on your bottom lip with his thumb, and he groans when your tongue darts out over it. “God, you’re so hot. C’mere, doll, let me sort you out.”
Twenty minutes later, you’re slipping out of the back door of the library and into the parking lot. You shoot off a quick text to Yunjin, asking her to hold down the fort for a little while longer at the tournament, and then Jay is tugging you into the backseat of his car with an urgency that makes your heart pound. Now, you get to sort him out, and it’s so much better than staring at old books.
yunjin: what is taking so long i sent jay to get u like 45 minutes ago
you: sorry be there in a bit love you babe!
yunjin: woooooooooow remember when i said i would never betray u for dick
yunjin: guess u DO NOT FEEL THE SAME
yunjin: ah well have fun don’t do anything i wouldn’t ;)
to all the boys i’ve fake-dated before (you, sunghoon, yeonjun, chan, vernon, mark, and 5 others)
you: were any of you fuckers going to tell me that jay’s birthday is TOMORROW?!
you: help!!!!! what do i get for him!!!!!
sunghoon: believe me that man wakes up every day thanking god that ur his gf. u don’t need to get him anything
you: as much as i appreciate the reporting of his simp behavior, i am IN A PANIC his birthday is in 12 hours why the fuck didn’t anyone say anything sooner?!?!
vernon: i’m gifting him a new speaker for the basement
chan: bro you’re getting that gift for ALL of us bc you BROKE the speaker in the basement
vernon: and jay is one of the many recipients of that gift!
you: FOCUS on me and MY problem please
mark: yooooo u could write him a song? i still owe u a favor so i’d be down to help
you: and make him listen to me perform it? i’m trying to keep this relationship going, not obliterate it
yeonjun: mans has one single move in his arsenal
mark: HEY it worked out pretty well for me
yeonjun: only bc u had like a million ppl helping u
sunghoon: i got jay tickets to that japanese singer he likes
you: FUCK that’s such a good idea why didn’t i think of that
sunghoon: bc u didn’t know his birthday was coming up
you: thanks genius
sunghoon: but anyways jay never makes a big deal out of his birthday
sunghoon: it’s mostly like a sentimental thing for his parents bc they tried for so long to have him
vernon: strictly speaking, they were trying to have ANY of the sperm inseminate ANY of the eggs so like it didn’t have to be him specifically
mark: dude wtf
chan: i’m sure jay will love whatever you get for him! maybe you could paint or draw something for him?
you: okay yes yes i can bang something out real quick in the studio
vernon: that’s what she said
yeonjun: this is why ur still single
you: the sperm and egg comment didn’t give it away?
vernon: guys stop ganging up on me wtf
you: okay thank you ONLY to chan the rest of you were useless
you: chan u could start a business. like a gift-giving idea business
mark: like santa claus but without the actual gifts?
yeonjun: ghost santa claus
chan: none of you should ever be allowed to start a business
It’s 5am by the time you’re finished in the studio, and you know your sleep cycle is going to be all sorts of messed up for the next few days, but it’s a small price to pay so you can slide into Jay’s bed and mold yourself against his body, knowing that your painting of the scene of your first date is leaning safely against the wall across from you.
Unfortunately, the swift arrival of sunrise and birds chirping outside of Jay’s window leave you unable to fall asleep (not to mention the energy drink you’d chugged at 2am). You give up on it quickly, comforted by the fact that you don’t have any classes today and can afford to sleep in when your body eventually gives out on you.
Staring at Jay is not an unenjoyable way to pass the time, so that’s what you do. Sleep smoothes out all the muscles in his face, but the sharp angles of the underlying bone structure turn him into marble; idly, you wonder how many sculptors would kill to be able to craft something this beautiful, this timeless and exquisite. You’ve tried to sketch or paint Jay multiple times yourself, and you’re still trying (that senior portfolio is going to be the death of you), but to date, you’ve been left unsatisfied. Something about Jay is just too expressive, too lively, too attentive; you haven’t been able to nail down the exact way he moves through the world, much less the way he looks at you like nothing else exists. There’s so much love to give in those steady hands, and so many meanings to divine in those familiar eyes—
Oh.
Jay’s eyes have flipped open, displaying his least endearing habit: sleeping with his eyes open. It unnerves you to no end, even though it makes him look kind of silly, so you have to flip around with a small grin on your face. “You’re lucky I love you so much,” you whisper, mostly to yourself.
His arm tightens around your waist. “Tell me something I don’t know.” The words come out slightly slurred, and the movement of his lips against the back of your neck makes you shiver.
You flip back around to meet his now closed eyes. “You’re awake?” Jay usually sleeps like the dead.
“I’m trying really hard not to be,” he drawls. Eyes still closed, he tugs you closer to press his lips to your forehead. “Go to sleep, doll.”
You hum tunelessly and fidget with the pendant of his necklace. “Happy birthday, Jongseong.” You can feel his lips curve into a smile against your skin, but you’re quick to nip that in the bud. “Or should I say… traitor? Why didn’t you tell me your birthday was coming up? I had to find out from Jungwon.”
“Typical mama’s boy.”
You giggle, even as you admonish him with: “Seriously, that joke needs to die. One of Riki’s coworkers actually thinks I’m his mom, and I just have a really good Botox supplier.”
Jay’s chest rumbles in amusement underneath your ear. Afterwards, it’s quiet for a long moment before he finally opens his eyes to peer blearily at you. “Are you upset I didn’t tell you about my birthday?”
You give him a tiny shrug. “Just curious, I guess. Plenty of people don’t like to celebrate their birthdays. Sunghoon said it’s usually more of a thing for your parents than it is for you.”
“Yeah, that’s about right.” Jay rubs his thumb over your cheek. “I’m spending the day with them, actually. We go to the same place for brunch every year, and then we just kind of walk around until dinner, which I’ve been cooking for the past couple of years.”
You smile automatically at the thought of his parents. They adore you, and the feeling is mutual— how could it not be?
Jay’s thumb halts its movements as something occurs to him. “Well, hey, do you wanna come with us?”
Quickly, you shake your head. You can spot Jay’s Mr. Nice Guy gestures from a mile away. “Nah, you should keep up your tradition with your parents. We’re still getting lunch with them this weekend, right? So I’ll get to see them soon, anyways.”
“My mom said she loves the insoles you sent her, by the way.”
“Right? Super comfortable. I can stay on my feet in the studio all day in those.” Just then, you’re hit by a yawn. “I guess I did the equivalent of a full day last night.”
Suddenly, Jay sits up straight, making you whine about the loss of coziness. “Wait, yeah, why are you here so early? Not that I don’t love waking up next to you, because I really do, but you weren’t here last night, and… oh my god.” He cuts himself off when he spots the painting against his wall.
You sit up as well. “Don’t freak out,” you begin. “I had fun making it, okay? And I don’t have class today so I can sleep alllllll day and if you’re not tired after dinner we can hang out afterwards, and seriously, Jay, light of my life, apple of my eye, etcetera, etcetera— let me do something nice for you without you feeling guilty about it, okay?” You draw in a deep breath. “I know I’m, like, afflicted with a chronic need to be helpful, but c’mon. Pot, kettle.” You point to yourself and then to him. “I love that you’re humble and kind and you know how lucky you are, but there’s nothing… to prove. You hear me? Just because you’ve had a good life doesn’t mean you have to give 110% of yourself to everyone else to deserve it. Please don’t make yourself feel bad because you get to take something from me for once instead of giving.” At the end of your rant, you blink in surprise at yourself. “Sorry, I don’t know when that turned into a lecture. All I’m saying is that you told me once that you’d want to give me Valentine’s Day every day, even if I didn’t deserve it, and I want to give that to you, too.”
Jay’s eyes flick between you and the painting and back to you, staring at you like he’s never seen you before. He’s speechless for so long that you count to 33 in your head in Mississippis that are definitely longer than one second. Finally, he crushes you to his chest in a hug that has your arms flailing around him with the force of it. “I feel like you just crawled into my head,” he says against your ear.
You make a face that he can’t see. “Didn’t need that visual in my head, but okay, baby.”
“I mean… I’m just feeling very perceived; that’s all. And I don’t really have anything else to say except that I love you so much, and thank you, and you’re my favorite person in the world.” He sniffles, and then preempts you with a, “Shut up.”
“Noooooo, I made you cry,” you coo at him, leaning back in his hold to swipe under his eyes with your thumbs. As you continue to fuss over him and he pretends to bite at your fingers, he hopes you know just how much he’s affected by your words and just how much you mean to him. Golden boy Park Jongseong, the prodigal son, the miracle child— he doesn’t think it could fairly be called a burden, because how could it be a burden to be so lucky, to be so loved, to have never truly suffered? But somehow, you get it. Maybe because you’re cut from the same self-sacrificing cloth, or maybe because you just understand him at an atomic level, but you get it. You get that he has dedicated his life to deserving his life in the first place; you get that he tries so hard, all the time, because he wants to be worthy of what he’s been given; you get that he gives, and gives, and gives, and he never wants to take, because he feels like he hasn’t done enough to pay back the gifts with which he was born, let alone take anything else from this world. And here you are, giving him your heart on his birthday— a day he doesn't think is anything special except for the joy it gives his parents— because you love him. Because you're just glad that you were born in the same timeline. He has never dared to ask for a gift like this.
Pathetically, all that he can get out is a simple, “I love the painting, by the way.” He nudges your nose with his. “I’m going to have it framed for our place after we graduate.”
“Our place?”
“Oh, yeah.” He clears his throat awkwardly. “I guess this is me asking. Do you want to live with me next year? Wherever it is that we end up. It would be, you know, economical.”
“Right, because we totally didn’t just have a conversation about your hang-ups with being born with a silver spoon in your mouth. And mine, too, I guess.”
Jay tsks at you. “Okay, or maybe I just want to wake up next to you every day. And make you food when you forget to eat, and listen to your horrible true crime podcasts while we clean up around the place, and hold your hair when you get sick because you forgot to take your Lactaid, and make sweet, sweet love to you every night—”
“Okay, okay, stop!” You’re laughing uncontrollably now, putting your hands up to stop Jay and the obnoxious kissy-face he’s making from coming any closer to you. “I didn’t need that much convincing, although I’m not sure how effective your convincing is when you’re just listing my bad habits, Mr. I-Sleep-With-My-Eyes-Open.”
“Yeah, but aren’t I lucky that you love me so much?” Jay smirks at you before tackling you down into his bed.
“Tell me something I don’t know,” you repeat to him. Sunlight slants in through the window behind his head, haloing him in a light so ethereal that you could be convinced the sun shines just for him. Like this, your words fade away from you, until all you’re left with is a quiet, heartfelt, “Yes.”
“Yes?”
“Yes, I’ll live with you after we graduate.” Softly, you stroke through the hair at his nape. “Stop wondering, by the way.”
Jay’s eyebrows furrow. “Wondering what?”
You reach up to smooth away the crease in his brow. “Wondering if you’re allowed to be this happy. I just told you, like, a million times. You are. The heavens have decreed that Park Jongseong shall be happy for as long as he lives, and a long time after that.” Dramatically, you tap each of his shoulders, as if you’re knighting him. “It is thus decided.”
Jay swoops down and plants a chaste peck on your lips. “Well, since it’s thus decided. Let me add something to that decree, though: I’m going to make you happy for as long as I live, and a long time after that,” he promises.
And you know he will.
(London is overcast and dreary when you touch down at Heathrow; typical, for a mid-September day. You and Jay still carry tans from a summer of island-hopping around Asia and the Mediterranean, but you’re sure those will fade soon. Still, there’s nothing you can complain about when Jay’s arm is snug around your waist and he looks like a dream in a light wool coat and admittedly unnecessary sunglasses.
You tease him about the sunglasses all the way to the doorstep of your new, shared apartment. But then he kisses you across the threshold and whispers about how much he loves you and how excited he is to be with you for the rest of his life, and you are so, so happy. Unbelievably happy. Beautifully happy.
Happy, forevermore. This, the heavens have decreed.)
#enhypen#park jay#park jongseong#enhypen jay#enhypen x reader#jay x reader#enhypen fic#jay fic#enhypen fluff#jay fluff#enhypen oneshot#jay oneshot#im out here slapping a parentheses epilogue at the end of every one of these fics (two) bc honestly....... laziness#anyways writing a sequel to a fic that's creeping uncomfortably close to the length of the original fic itself is... a choice!#ik it's only been like two weeks since i posted the original fic#but i needed to exorcise this version of jay from my brain bc i literally could not focus on my interstate move otherwise#so here you go#it's not much but it's honest work etcetera etcetera#oh and once again the title and that song have nothing to do with the plot (what little of it there is)#i was just looking for another phrase i liked in that song so this title could match the original fic#where the title ALSO had nothing to do with the fic. im capricious like that#ss.fic
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seventeen: your friends with benefits
pairing: 95 line x gn! reader
genre: romance, fluff
warning(s): suggestive language, swearing
request: Hey omg I love your blog sm already and I can’t wait to see what u make in the future :) I was wondering if u could do a svt reaction/head cannon to y’all being fwb but they catch feelings? 👀 if not I totally understand/gen 💙
note: omg hi!! thank you for the support, i really appreciate it! here’s 95 line; i originally was meant to write for the entire hyung line but these got a bit long for my taste lol :^)) feel free to request for the others <3 ALSO i’m finally back from dying over finals, please expect more work within the next few weeks :DD my requests are open as always!
seungcheol
two friends that just needed a way to blow off some steam
while this setup of yours with seungcheol was exciting and fun, the two of you agreed to keep it a secret
you both valued privacy, and neither of you wanted people to know about your business
that meant you guys would always be lowkey when in public; leaving the bathroom at separate times, wandering hands from under the table
while you seemed perfectly fine with keeping things hidden, it was suffocating seungcheol
even before your current arrangement with him, he always thought there was something special about you, something that drew him closer and made him want more
and getting to see you, all of you, made it harder for him to remember that there shouldn’t be any feelings involved
one night, he calls you, asking you to come over
when you get to his apartment, you can tell the mood is completely different from the past situations when you’d visit
it’s evident on his face that he called you over for something way more serious than just hooking up, and you begin to grow worried
“cheol are you oka–” “we need to stop this."
“i can’t keep doing this anymore. being able to touch you but never actually have you, it’s fucking with my head. knowing that behind closed doors, i have you all to myself but the moment we’re outside you’re no longer mine, it hurts. i’m in love with you, y/n.”
jeonghan
100% obsessed with you behind closed doors but acts like you’re strangers out in public
but recently, it feels like you guys are strangers on all levels
every time you’d hit him up, you’d get the same response
“busy 2nite, sorry”, “my roommate’s home”, “i have hw”
at first, you didn’t mind his excuses
it’s college, of course he’s busy
but after two whole weeks of blowing you off, your patience was wearing thin
it wasn’t like him to just cut things off without an explanation
he never even messages anymore, so at this point, you guys aren’t even talking
you haven’t seen him in so long, so the moment you run into him outside the library, you corner him to ask why he’s been avoiding you
he’s awkwardly fidgeting, avoiding eye contact, but you won’t leave until he explains himself
he knows you won’t give up, and he tells you with frustration evident in his tone
“i have feelings for you, okay? i knew that if we continued what we were doing i’d only fall deeper. i thought the only way for me to get over you would be to cut you off, but i realized it just made me miss you even more. is that what you wanted to hear?”
joshua
childhood friends that both wanted to lose their virginities, but the sexual chemistry was good so you guys just kept going
everyone knew you guys were close, so no one really questioned why you’d spend the night at each others’ places so frequently
after another night of your usual activities, you guys have pizza delivered to joshua’s apartment
when the food arrives, you answer the door, clad in one of shua’s old shirts
the delivery guy thinks you’re cute, and he even asks for your number
you’re about to give it when joshua takes the pizza box from the guy’s hands and slams the door shut
he looks annoyed, but you’re annoyed too
“what was that for? i was about to give him my number”
you’re just waiting for his reply, and he looks at you with an unreadable emotion in his eyes
desperation, maybe?
“please don’t go out with someone else. i’m in love with you. i think i have been ever since the start. i want us to be more than what we are right now, if you let me. i’ve already gotten a taste of how it feels to be with you, and now i can’t imagine ever letting you go.”
#svt x reader#seventeen x reader#svt imagine#seventeen imagine#svt headcanons#seventeen headcanons#svt headcanon#seventeen#seventeen s. coups x reader#seungcheol imagine#seungcheol x reader#seventeen jeonghan x reader#jeonghan imagine#jeonghan x reader#seventeen joshua x reader#joshua imagine#joshua x reader#choi seungcheol#yoon jeonghan#joshua hong#seventeen 95 line#seventeen 95 line x reader
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Gimple said at NYCC this year there is a plan to merge all the spinoffs into one show..
Remember Melissa got sidelined last year because Gimple needed to use a solo DD show to set up the return of Rick?
Confirmed at NYCC by Nicotero when he said they couldn't use Carol for s1 because Daryl needed to GROW as a person on his own,so when Carol and Daryl reunite it will have an bigger impact.
You also had Gimple say it was Norman's ide to move the whole spinoff to France,something that caught Norman completely of guard. Reasons why Norman was quick to say it was Melissa's ide to. The memory of last years backlash is still very fresh in his mind,not something he wants to revist and especially when he and Melissa have managed to fix the broken pieces in their relationship. Throwing Norman under the bus is Gimple's way of washing his hands of all the responsibility he has for the backlash/drama/financial lost AMC got last year.
Gimple doesn't care about Norman/Daryl or Melissa/Carol, all he ever cared about was Rick. Andy is Gimple's boy,always have been. Gimple is petty as hell,so by putting his main competition on the sideline.Meaning Kang/Melissa and the much anticipated Caryl spinoff. He gets to shine on his own...
Gimple said they where going to film DD durring summer,knowing full well Kang could not participate since she had other obligations with projects she was set to work on durring that time period.
This gives Gimple the perfect excuse he needs to replace Kang with another Showrunner,and to sideline half of his competition.
After Zabel was announced as the new showrunner,Gimple postponed DD filming for 7 months.
Then you have Melissa,she got sidelined because they needed a solo season of DD to let Daryl GROW as a person on his own,so he could be OPEN for the possibility of a potensielle romance with Carol.
If this isn't the biggest fucking horseshit of an excuse i have ever read,I don't know what is.
Melissa got sidelined so the Boys could play,by removeing the other half of his competition and postponing the Caryl spinoff a year. The excitement for the mutch anticipated spinoff cools down a lot,but then we have Carol return and the excitement starts to build again. Now we are being told by Gimple and company the move to France was all Norman's ide,it's his concept,his creative input that guides the direction of DD s1. So Melissa getting sidelined,the nun shipbate all came from Norman.That's what Gimple wants you to believe,by going with that narrative it reminds the fandom of why they got pissed at Norman in the first place.Why some are still angry and blames him for Melissa getting sidelined,and maybe if you remind them just enough,they will not tune in for s2. Gimple knows exactly what he is doing, s2 The Book of Carol is in direct competition with TOWL. He needs his show to do better,like I said Gimple is petty as hell.
Gimple was a part of DD s1,but he has no part in s2. Could it be because he got removed by AMC?
Melissa got rightfully pissed when she got sidelined,her spinoff got pushed back a year. Not to mention her costar/bff just went along with it without takeing a stand for her or their show. Same show they worked so hard on,same show that was in the process of finalizing their last scripts for s1 before they got tossed aside. Anyone suprised Melissa told TPTB to fuck off, that she would NOT be a part of DD? Knowing Melissa she probably didn't use those exact words,it's hard to be in a spinoff when you can't even stand to be in the same room with your costar. What we saw at SDCC was Melissa acting her part and being a professional
We know Melissa was still a hard no at SDCC in July,the first week of September Melissa spoke to EW and said Carol had more story to tell.
It's an easyer sell for AMC to get Melissa back if you remove Gimple from DD,not to mention giveing her the same creative control over her character and a role as an Executive Producer like her costar have. That makes for a more attractive offer,then just returning to status quo with Gimple still at the helm.
AMC said a while back that Gimple will be producing new episodes of Tales,that's Gimple's consolation prize. Tales a show that flopped,and was heavely criticized by fans as well as critics for not delivering good stories.
Karma never tasted so good...
2024 can't come fast enough...
Imagine all the Caryl promotion for The Book of Carol ❤❤❤
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1, 14, & 21 (not Nemo, haha!) for the Dark Urge askmeme! also any other numbers you desperately want an excuse to share ^^
I’ll post for both my Durge’s, Nym and Casira.
And also I apologize for its length. It’s a chonker.
Nym:
1. What circumstances led to your Dark Urge becoming their class/subclass?
Nym’s an abyssal tiefling (granddaughter to Graz’zt) and her bio-father (not Bhaal) was a divine soul sorcerer to Eilistraee, so normally she’d be a a divine soul sorcerer but I have her as a wild magic sorcerer because her abyssal blood and her spark of divinity doesn’t play nice with each other. It’s a constant war inside of her.
She’s a bhaalspawn because her abyssal cambion mother basically at one point had sex with a bhaalspawn, and I headcanon that succubi/incubi steal the essence of people they sleep with and their bodies then corrupt it with whoever they knock up/get knocked up by. I know technically cambions aren’t succubi/incubi but being the daughter of Graz’zt, I’m giving her some leeway. So she stole the sperm/essence of a bhaalspawn and for funsies, mixed it in with the child of the divine soul sorcerer man she was currently tricking/banging. So Nym has three parentages technically.
But yeah, she’s mechanically a wild magic sorcerer because her particular concoction of existence doesn’t play nice with each other.
She’s multiclass bard because she loves music and her day job when not doing stuff with the cult (which she was already trying to pull away from) is entertainment. Only time she ever feels at peace.
14. How good of a liar is your Dark Urge? How do they feel about lying?
Nym is an excellent liar and feels nothing when she does it. She’s not a habitual liar, she only does it when she feels she needs to to protect herself, but she has no qualms about doing so. I think if she has to do it around someone she cares about, is the only time she feels some guilt. Or at least, discomfort.
21. What are 2-3 songs that your Durge would relate to?
Paint It, Black by Ciara - Nym feels so much darkness and bitterness and she doesn’t want to.
Big God by Florence and the Machine - Definitely one of her main songs, not just for lyrics but the dancing in the music video. She secretly worships Eilistraee as her father did but she’s so conflicted and desperate for some form of salvation but also laments and despairs against the gods.
Death Wish by Jason Isbell and the 400 Unit - My girl has got bad depression and she’s definitely the girl in this song’s scenario. The lines “Who’s gonna save you, who’s left to pray to? What’s the difference in a breakdown and a breakthrough?” fits her like a glove.
Bonus question for her:
2. Did your Durge have any romantic and/or sexual relationships prior to their illithid adventure? If yes, who was it with and what was it like? If no, how did they feel about being single?
Ok so Nym has a very complicated and messy relationship to both sex and romance. She’s had a few romantic partners, whom she usually breaks up with because she feels she’s a danger to them and/or she feels they deserve someone without her baggage.
She was in a relationship with one of my Tav’s, Cillian Baker, and he was her last serious romantic relationship before she broke up with him.
She’s rather hyper-sexual but uses it as way of self-harm tbh. She’s a CSA survivor and her relationship with sex is rather unhealthy. She likes sex in the moment but afterward deals with extreme self-loathing. She also tends to choose dangerous or questionable men for ONS because sometimes she wants an excuse to murder someone, always a toss-up.
Right before the game, going on for several months, she actually had a relationship with Raphael at the Devil’s Den. It wasn’t sexual or romantic; she originally came to his presence because a woman she was close to and had feelings for liked to party (using it as a coping method herself) and they ended up in the DD.
Nym clocked him for a devil right away and he knew she was Durge and found her a novelty/would be a yummy soul but more an idle interest. She was worried her friend would get in trouble around him (I’m picturing him catering intimate sinful little parties for him to find souls in).
They slowly danced around each other over the course of months, and came to play lanceboard as a regular occurrence. Eventually her friend basically met someone and got clean and while Nym was happy for her, she’s just so damn lonely. I’ll probably post a separate post on her and Raphael’s relationship because it’s long but basically she comes back to the DD and resumes their game nights.
He finds her amusing and they have a weirdass connection that can’t quite be described. At some point they do get into a tiff, she got too close to his little spark of humanity on accident and it made him lash out.
She doesn’t show up for a number of weeks and he doesn’t think much of it and then oh, would you look at that, she’s one of the abducted and has some memory loss. That’s when his interest spikes immensely and then the ingame stuff. She feels a connection to him but doesn’t know why and it pisses her off, lol.
Ok, now onto my second Durge:
Casira:
1. What circumstances led to your Dark Urge becoming their class/subclass?
Casira is a cleric of Selûne (light domain). How that happened is basically, the Bhaal cultists used the corpse of an aasimar of Selûne (one of Aylin’s sisters) in a profane ritual that used Bhaal’s blood to fill the empty vessel. Created a baby bhaalspawn but that tiny spark of Selûne remained.
She grew up conflicted, raised in the cult but never feeling right. Selûne tried to reach her a few times in her life but it was too dangerous/Sceleritas Fel was always watching and it put Casira in danger.
Her cleric powers really only came forward once Casira was abducted and no memory because Selûne took that as her chance to influence her.
14. How good of a liar is your Dark Urge? How do they feel about lying?
Not that good, tbh. She’s fairly honest and upfront if you ask her questions. She finds lying difficult to understand and doesn’t like doing it. It gets her into a lot of trouble.
21. What are 2-3 songs that your Durge would relate to?
Eva by Nightwish - Definitely her in both lyrics and vibes.
The Moon Will Sing by The Crane Wives - “I shine only with the light you gave me” is very her.
Fake Wings by Kajiura Yuki - The solemn/melancholy tone fits her.
Bonus question for her:
25. How does your Durge feel about Sceleritas Fel?
Terrified. Even without the memory loss, she was terrified of him. He was put in her life because he/Bhaal could sense Selûne on the sidelines. If she didn’t do the murders and rituals enough times or ever showed reluctance, she was severely punished and Bhaal would overtake her body and control her (where the really nasty Durge lines happen, like necrophilia, etc). So she learned that to keep her body in her control, she had to do the serial killing.
His “naughty naughty” was usually a precursor to her punishments so when she got that dream in the third act she was so terrified of falling asleep for weeks.
#bg3#bg3 durge#ask meme#csa mention#nym is honestly like if laura palmer from twin peaks were in bg3#oc: nym the drow'ri#oc: nym the abyssal tiefling#oc: casira#bg3 raphael
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I’m genuinely curious what the other critters roles are in the holders au (especially who the Chloe or Lila might be).
alr this ones simple, imma list all of the (rest of the) critters and give them a role based in both in the og MLB series and the Holders AU
just to make it clear, all of the relatioships im talking about here take place before catnap joins the same hs as dogday, eventually they all (Except bubba) become friends between them
Craftycorn: Along with dogday shes an exchange student as well, but attends to a different HS, she's dogdays roomate and both get along very well, eventually from living together they become good friends. Crafty's role on this au would be Alya's on MLB, but without the ladyblog lol, on this universe crafty like alya is interested in the heroes that suddenly popped out of nowhere, and starts investigating about them out of curiosity, eventually she gets very invested in them and starts taking part of a magazine to talk about them both. She's gonna be the first to find out their identities too, she eventually connects the dots and guesses, but doesn't tell anyone
Kickin: He's childhood friends with dogday, but here they met online before dogday decided to move and study on the same country as him, They don't belong to the same HS neither, he goes to the same one as crafty and they become friends there. His role here would be Nino's on MLB, as he would become very close to catnap eventually (catnap got his second best friend yippeee), and also would end up dating crafty lol (kickincorn enthusiast)
Bobby: Bobby is childhood friends with hoppy, and she takes on luka's role on MLB as the good listener and good advice giver to dogday (no romance between them here) Her and Dogday don't exactly have a band, but them both enjoy playing music together (dd plays guitar, bobby plays bass and guitar too + she likes to sing) which made them close. They met bc of Kickin as him, bobby and hoppy were in the same elementary school and kept being good friends ever since.
Hoppy: Childhood friends with Bobby, doesnt take on any particular character's role, she was on a volleyball club with kickin on elementary school and they met there, she also works at the same bakery as dogday mostly to help piggy's family out and get paid for hanging out with friends LOL
(as a psa, theres feelings between the bear and the rabbit, they are GAY, but their relationship develops later on)
Piggy: You could say she in some way takes marinette's role here? but this marinette would not be ladybug here LOL, i stated before that dogday works part-time on a bakery, well piggy is the daughter of said bakery's owner, and she also attends the same hs as dogday and catnap, she became friends with dogday from him working there and going to the same hs as him, shes also best friends with bobby and hoppy and hang out tgt often as a trio
Bubba: This man takes on both lila and kagami's role here, but both would be against caatnap here. As i said before, prototypes an engeneer who owns a company, said company has a partnership with another one, and this company ceo's has a son, Bubba is that ceo's son, so he and catnap had met on multiple ocasions but dont get along that well (they hate each other's guts), as bubba's mindset is like prototype's and catnap is not that fond of his father lmao. When catnap gets sent to socialize, prototype asks his ceo pal to send his son and watch him so he doesn't slip away from his duties. His job is basically to keep catnap from getting away from his father lol, and so he makes his life difficult to achieve that.
the closest thing to a chloe here would be bubba? but they behave very differently so he reminds me more of lila, so i could say theres no chloe here at all, personally chloe's character is very non important to the series, her only role is to be the mean girl and maybe help akumatize some ppl, but overall the only good part about her was her redemption lol, but then they threw that away soo, nothing much to say abt her, i don't find having a Chloe here necessary at all
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Final thoughts on the Wuji candy
Thanks to everyone who wrote in with asks, and also those who shared their thoughts in the comments of my post about the Wuji recording comic.
Rather than answer a bunch of asks about this and make this topic the dominant thing on my blog for the next few days, I'm just going to respond to everything in one post. Sorry to anyone who is disappointed they didn't get a direct reply.
Fake, fan fiction, CPN.
I understand people on both sides of the fence - those who are really excited about the candy and believe it was shared in good faith, and those who have concerns about it. I personally think this candy is probably totally fine, and maybe even a positive thing given how it's changed the conversation in the fandom and cheered a lot of people up, but I do have some mixed feelings and I think it's legitimate to have reservations about the whole thing.
Everyone gets to form their own opinions. Hopefully we can all respect each other and not get too argumentative over it.
There are valid perspectives on both sides:
Negative
The thing that bothered me the most about this candy is that it violates the central turtle precept that 'everything is fake'. She did handle things somewhat carefully, but I found it jarring and a bit scandalous to have someone connected to them do something so brazen without couching it in 'fake'.
She didn't just confirm they were holding hands, she heavily implied a romantic connection between the two of them. She talked about love and romance and cast herself as a turtle. While it's not directly outing them or a direct threat, I can totally understand why some people are concerned about a real-life connection of theirs talking like that so openly (for reasons I explained in the first point above).
The NDA comment had me raising my eyebrows, and I can see I wasn't alone in that. A lot of people expressed that as the main issue they had with it. And it raises so many questions. The NDA for The Untamed expired long ago - is this a personal NDA that has expired, enabling her to share? Was the NDA the only thing holding her back from sharing this type of thing? She promised more candy in the future. Should we be worried about what else she might share? Should we be worried about other associates whose NDAs expire (and might perhaps be less well-intended toward them)? Are other associates of theirs going to start speaking openly about their relationship? All of these questions are totally understandable. I personally lean toward thinking she was probably just trying to deflect any potential criticism about privacy, but I definitely felt weird about the way she phrased it.
Posting it openly on her social media made her a central part of the story, when the focus of candy like this should be on GG and DD. This was also a major concern for some people. I think this one can be argued both ways. I mean, it can be said that by making it focused around her she prevented it from being too broadly connected to GG and DD.
We didn't need any conformation. The emoji was enough. Several people expressed this feeling, and I tend to agree.
A lot of people have stated they feel she's attention-seeking, and that the posts were exploitative. I think she opens herself up to those accusations/concerns by making these public posts/comments, but so does anyone who is connected with them who discusses them in any way. Even someone wishing them a birthday greeting or something gets those accusations. Unfortunately being massively famous makes people assume bad motives. The covid heart candy post had similar accusations against it. This is just the way these things go.
Positive
It is a sweet candy.
At least at face value, she appears to really care about GG and DD and to be someone who is excited about them as a couple. She has something of a track record of this from way back in 2018/19, so this isn't a put-on thing just for this moment. She has consistently expressed interest in and excitement about them.
Whether coincidentally or not, it was well-timed to reassure and energize turtles at a time when people were feeling low about the whole anti video from last week. We were expecting a candy after that, and it looks like we got one - even if it was from an unexpected source. It has successfully changed the conversation and turned things around quite a bit, and that might be intentional.
The characteristics of this video/situation appear to be strikingly effective at downplaying the credibility of the anti video from last week. The anti video was filmed surreptitiously, while this one was openly and legally taken with GG and DD's full knowledge. No legitimate witness has corroborated the malicious impression that there was anything special going on between GG and the other subject in the anti video, meanwhile a known public figure has gone on the record with this video to say that GG and DD were on good terms and held hands.
Cheng Yi and the whole handholding thing went to the top of the entertainment hot search, in the top two positions. Those hot searches were left up, yet the one about the anti video was pushed down (aka GG and his team likely paid to have the anti video hot search suppressed, yet allowed these Wuji ones to remain). While neither of the hot searches would necessarily be associated with GG and DD in most people's minds (they don't mention their names or fandom names), it's hard to imagine that similar searches connected to that anti video would have been left up.
As I said in the previous discussion, there is a lot of plausible deniability baked into this situation. GG and DD were singing a song for the soundtrack of a series they shot together. It was years ago. Even if video footage of them holding hands during recording was released, I'm not sure that it would have much impact outside the circles who already care about this type of thing. Most people would likely dismiss it as fan service or two guys joking around. The whole thing strikes me as pretty harmless.
It's not like GG and DD have really been hiding their relationship anyway.
GG and DD are under more scrutiny than ever (as are all prominent people in China), and with projects set to come out they are at less liberty to take risks. I think that it's possible we will see more candy from people in their entertainment circle, rather than directly from GG and DD themselves.
I am not saying this candy was something GG and DD personally sanctioned (it's possible, of course, but we'll never know), I'm saying that given the climate, there are likely people closer to them who understand the limitations GG and DD are under right now and who will want to reassure turtles when they are upset.
I believe that GG and DD care about - and need - turtles. I've talked about that a lot in the past, here's just one example. I don't think GG and DD, nor the people who care about them, will stand by and let turtles be attacked or heartbroken in ways that could threaten the fandom. Look at OOL airing, which ended up being a huge candy dump from GG.
They're looking out for us just as we're looking out for them. That is how I see it. Others might disagree, but that's my perspective on it.
Anyway, thanks again for being so engaged with this topic. The discussions and perspectives have been interesting. For now I'm going to not take any more asks about this unless there is new information or a perspective that substantially adds to or shifts the conversation in some way.
Edit: More on fan perceptions here.
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Happy Bisexual Visibility Week
Cheers to Bisexual Visibility Week! 🌈
Did you know these iconic figures are bi, actually?
Let's take a look at bi-cons throughout history.
Frida Kahlo
Frida Kahlo is infamous for a great many things. Her art, her socialist views and activism, her disability from a trolley crash, her bisexuality, and more. During her marriage to Diego Rivera, Frida Kahlo had several extramarital affairs with both men and women. Frida was openly bisexual and would occasionally dress in men's clothing.
Josephine Baker
A singer, dancer, and a civil rights pioneer, Josephine Baker was a bisexual performer and activist. She helped to defeat the Nazis in France through her work as a resistance spy. She lived a queer life through and through - she dated Frida Kahlo, and after the war, married Jo Bouillon — a gay musician. Each had relationships with other people and they adopted 12 children who Baker called her “rainbow tribe.”
Malcom X
Malcolm X was America's leading advocate for black pride, upliftment, and freedom. He spoke with fierce eloquence and defiance for black liberation. Based on interviews with Malcolm's closest friends, Author Bruce Perry suggests he was not as solidly heterosexual as his colleagues have claimed. Friends say he had many queer relationships in his 20s and some suggested he might have as a sex worker for a period of time.
Virginia Woolf
Author Virginia Woolf's diaries indicate she was very in love with her husband, Leonard Woolf. They were both a part of the Bloomsbury group which tended to have more liberal ideas about sexuality than general society did at that time. They were not monogamous, nor were her lovers all men. Many of her novels, including Mrs. Dalloway and Orlando have bi characters and she famously dated Vita Sackville-West.
David Bowie
David Bowie's gender and cultural fluidity inspired a generation of queer people. He labelled himself variously throughout his life, originally coming out as gay, then straight when he married Iman later in life, but he had relationships with people of all genders across his life and undeniably influenced generations of queer people to be comfortable with who we are.
Marlene Dietrich
Dietrich, an actress, was "an early pioneer of cross dressing and of embracing bisexuality without apology,” She dd it in her very first Hollywood film — the 1930 drama, Morocco, which earned her her only Academy Award nomination. In the film’s most famous scene, her character, a cabaret singer, kisses another woman while dressed in a men’s tuxedo.” She was a trailblazer.
Janis Joplin
Janis Joplin of Big Brother and the Holding Company was an American singer-songwriter who sang rock, soul, and blues music. She had a short but eventful life, including relationships with rockstars such as Jim Morrison and her most sustained relationship with Jae Whitaker, and an on-again-off-again romance with Peggy Caserta.
Bisexuals make up over half of the LGBTQ+ population. Who knows how many historical figures may have been queer but unable to come out at the time?
This week, we celebrate all the people before us who made it possible to be who we are.
Happy Bisexuality Awareness Week!
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My Turtle Origin Story
Hi. I'm a rando on the internet. I make stuff up for fun and giggles. Nothing I say is real. Everything is fake. I'm fake. I bet you're fake. Fakity fake-fake.
Here's the intro post for this whole thing.
That being said, I got into The Untamed after reading MDZS last year. I'd never watched a c-drama before, though my wife and I have watched some k-dramas and j-dramas before. I was fascinated by a BL adaption in a country where gay relationships are censored.
I'm a nerd at heart, so I wanted to learn more about just...what this was about. How did this get made? Was it just for $$$? Did the people behind it take it seriously or was it a big joke? A cash-grab on a wildly popular web-novel? How was it received? How on earth was it discussed when the main relationship is a gay romance?
So I started watching the behind the scenes footage (bts) and interviews. And reading a bunch. And watching more. And reading more. Basically, I immersed myself into the swamp trying to figure this whole thing out.
My big fear going in was that there'd be a bunch of no-homo stuff in the bts. That nobody took it seriously. That the male actors were icked out by the minimal amount of subtext they did.
So I found it refreshing from the start to see that wasn't the vibe behind the scenes. Honestly, it reminded me a lot like the vibe with Xena. Back in the 1990s, an explicit lesbian couple just wasn't a thing on TV. The network wouldn't allow it.
So the show got as close as they possibly could with what ended up being referred to as "subtext". Xena went way further than The Untamed (Xena and Gabrielle are canon soulmates who have multiple kisses and swear a life commitment to each other). But behind the scenes was a cast and crew who genuinely wanted to show as much of the romance as possible. Who wanted to push the envelope as far as they could go. After a couple seasons, with the actresses' chemistry, they knew it was an epic love story, and they treated it as such.
Were there jokes? Yeah. The actresses had a running joke of flubbing a scene by saying "Now come here for a cuddle". There's a fantastic outtake of Lucy Lawless jokingly going in for a kiss at the end of a scene. But it wasn't a mocking atmosphere. It was sincerely felt and experienced, and it meant a lot to little gay me to see that in Xena. It felt similar to see the same spirit in the Untamed background. Much like Xena (the show) included an episode where she commissions Sappho to write a love poem for Gabrielle, The Untamed snuck in little hints with chickens and historical gay erotica. They took it as far as they feasibly could without the two male leads actually physically interacting much. (I'm putting aside the whole mess where they tried to make WQ a love interest)
There was an immediate difference between Xena and the Untamed behind the scenes, though. The actresses in Xena were close friends. They attended each other's wedding. Had great chemistry. But nobody ever thought they were a real couple, for various reasons. There is 0 chance they are or were ever a couple. Even with all the gay jokes behind the scenes, it's obvious.
As soon as I started looking up TU bts, Youtube started recommending this mysterious bjyx stuff to me.
"Aha!" I thought. "Is this what they call 'fanservice'?"
(I'm sorry. I know I'm not funny)
Okay, so I've been in fandom before with fictional characters. I've always been aware of real-person fiction and had mixed feelings about it. I've also known that some bands do gay fanservice and that BL live-action stuff often comes with fanservice. I'd never really seen it, though.
Still, what I could see in the videos wasn't THAT fanservice-y. A lot of bickering. Singing. Fighting. Lewd jokes. Making faces at each other. Completely nonsensical conversations. Not a lot of, like, handholding or kissing stuff like I'd expect from fanservice.
At the same time, the videos seemed to make wild leaps sometimes in showing that these two - GG and DD - were a thing. Much like the Xena actresses joked with each other about their characters being a couple, GG and DD and others joked about WWX and LWJ being a couple. Sometimes the videos seemed to conflate moments like that--clear jokes--with actual coupleness.
So I kinda dismissed them at first. I mean, it's part of fandom. Some people get into it. Not for me.
But I was still interested in the actors. I wondered how they got the roles. What they thought of them. What they thought about the gay elements.
So, again, reading and whatnot.
It's impossible to read about this stuff without coming across bjyx and turtles. That's where most of the background is discussed in English, honestly. So I read that. Usually kinda putting aside whatever they were trying to imply. Just trying to figure out more about the political situation. The vibe of the actors.
But as I watched and read, these bjyx candies
just
kept
coming.
Some easily dismissed. Some kinda compelling if you squint. Some that required some thought.
I watched a bunch of DD's other stuff (I guess my bias is for him? I adored DD from the start). Took note of his, um, clear lack of interest in women. I mean, yeah, as an idol, I'm sure he didn't want to cause a scandal by acting too familiar. But he seemed even more standoffish than that warranted. It was often commented on by...well, everybody around him.
And then I hit a bts scene that left me gawking. I said I wouldn't link the bts, so I'll just describe this scene. I've only come across it twice in two different bts compilations with slightly different translations, but the gist is the same.
GG and DD are in Cloud Recesses clothes. They're on a brightly lit green screen stage. The camera is shaky and the sound isn't super-great. (I've watched this so many times, I don't even need to look at the video to write down the interaction. I have it memorized)
DD: So flirty. (The translator notes that he's using northern slang here and I think that it came across differently to GG than he intended)
GG: *sarcastic thumbs up as if to say, "Um, rude, but ok"*
DD: You don't like it? *a moment* So beautiful. (the translator notes that this literally means "fairy-like")
GG: *a little swoon. then he stops* No, this word doesn't fit.
DD: Why doesn't it fit?
GG: It just doesn't fit WWX.
DD: I'm not talking about WWX. I'm talking about XZ.
GG: *shy smile with adorable nose crinkle*
DD: So beautiful.
Okay, I was floored. There went my whole, "joking about the role" ambiguity. DD was just straight-up flirting and GG was just straight-up accepting and enjoying it.
That kinda rearranged my brain.
Okay, so they were flirting with each other. But fanservice, right? Maybe the bts were staged?
So I read some more about the context of the releases and the boys' reactions to some of those releases. And I read more about what CP fanservice typically entails (shared endorsements, overt physical interaction, an abrupt ending when promo was done).
None of these matched up with what I was watching.
But still.
Like, seriously?
A huge TV hit based on a BL series, and the main leads are actually dating? That's...that's a story. That's the plot for a book. It's not something that really happens. Come on, now.
Then I came across the other candy that left me gawking. Old cow eats young grass.
I'm not gonna link. If you know, you know.
That's not even fanservice. That's just a couple bickering with each other.
Once I turned that corner, looking at the array of candies...even with the ones I don't take seriously, it just became...well, there's this thing about preponderance of evidence at a certain point. It doesn't mean any one candy is absolutely true. But it definitely indicates a more general truth. BJYXSZD
This is all fiction, though, and I'm a stoopid turtle.
Onward to the next post: Consuming Candies Pt 1: DD and GG are le Gay
#bjyx#yizhan#clowning around#i'm so long-winded#don't listen to me#i yammer on abt Xena of all things
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Fan Comic Update:
My Daredevil fan comic plot is really starting to come together!! It involves a new crime lord, drugs, brainwashing, bombs, fire, a loss of faith, a very dramatic regaining of faith… the list goes on.
I’ll let you know now, I do NOT plan on killing off main characters for the character development of Daredevil. I hate when comics do that, so it won’t happen here. I also won’t be inserting OCs or adding any romance subplots. I’m trying to keep it as canon and “serious” as possible. (Edit: technically I am adding OC’s in new villains - but they do not have pre-existing lore and are being made specifically for this comic.)
As of right now, I think it will be a somewhat violent and gritty comic with the occasional comic relief (thank you Foggy Nelson). If that’s not up your alley, I suggest you read carefully.
DD, Matt, and Foggy designs are still not decided yet. If you saw my practice page posts, they probably won’t look like that in the actual comic. I take a lot of inspo from Checchetto (I could make a whole post about just that!), but I want to make sure I’m not straight up ripping his design from the comics.
I have 4 pages planned so far for the first “issue.” If anyone reads this, I’m eager to know how you’d best like to read the comic/how you think I should release it. One page at a time as I finish them, or all the pages at once? (In between, I will probably post sketches and lineart pieces that show progress without spoiling anything.)
That’s all the updates I have for now. Writing is going well. Once enough is written, I’ll start drawing. Yay!
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