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normal-thoughts-official · 3 years

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Do you think Alec and Magnus use condoms? How do you think warlocks deal with STD?

REALLY interesting question, i must say that i love it. thank you anon. i hope you know that i will take it way too seriously

okay, so the first question is, ARE magnus and alec susceptible to STDs? unexpected p-words are not a problem because warlocks are sterile anyway (and, if you subscribe to both magnus and alec being of the same AGAB, also because it's not possible to get both gametes or whatever), so let's focus on the STD aspect (really important!). i think human STDs would not affect them, or at least not magnus. maybe alec because shadowhunters are notably more susceptible to weaknesses humans have, like disease and mortality and whatnot. but would human STDs affect warlocks?

i tend to go with no, because warlocks are immortal. immortality, especially as it is built in the sh verse (immortals can be killed but their body won't die on its own) kind of implies that they have, like, supercells or superorgans or something, that don't deteriorate - or, alternatively, that can rebuild way faster than they could be deterioriated. im saying that because stuff like aging and eventually dying is essentially the process in which your body can no longer replace dying cells at the same speed at which they die, which leads to your body weakening as a lot of its functions are impaired. therefore, immortality as in not aging and not dying on your own but still being able to be killed if you are, say, stabbed, implies that that process simply doesn't happen. so we have one of the two: either the cells don't die, or the speed at which they are replaced never changes

in my understanding, this implies that diseases don't affect immortals. maybe they can even contract them, but their body is too strong for it to have an effect. like having a disease without symptoms. but i tend to believe that rather than living with 8945134081 deadly viruses and bacteria inside them just sleeping around, the viruses and bacteria simply can't live inside them - both because superbody means super-immunological system and because superbody means that the bacteria and viruses essentially have no place to grow in, as they can't break their cells or whatever it is that that particular strain does

like - and that is true particularly for viruses as far as i remember, not so much bacteria - the way these mfs work is that they attack the cells of a body and use them to reproduce. but if you are talking about a body that has cells that are essentially unbreakable or so highly regenerative any attack on them is dealt with so quickly it doesn't even have an effect, i don't think any virus should be able to break into their cells in the first place. they would die without reproducing and bam, done. if you are going with the second theory (warlock cells do die, they just can keep replacing them as much as they want without a problem) then you probably have a situation where the virus can reproduce, but its reproduction doesn't lead to any problems because the dead cells are replaced as fast as they are killed. in that case, the warlock would be, technically, carrying the disease indefinitely. but i tend to think that considering how strong that body is and the fact that they have an immunological system (as they are half human and have no reason not to inherit that from their human parents) that is ALSO mega strong would mean these viruses would probably be eliminated quickly

bacterial diseases are different since mostly what bacterias do (again as far as i remember) is that they live inside the body, not necessarily inside the cells, but using the body's space to reproduce, and eventually their presence - usually due to the fact that they produce toxic elements that affect the host - leads to nearby cells dying/the space they are in deteriorating, etc. but again warlock's cells are either essentially unbreakable or highly regenerative, so that wouldn't be a problem, and they could overpower invasive bacteria easily before a colony could form. so, no human bacterial diseases would be able to flourish, either

and that's not even considering the fact that as they are half human they probably have an immunological system that is ALSO superstrong and therefore able to fuck up any disease causers. or the role magic might take in protecting the body, like, who's to say the magic itself doesn't kill any invasive bacteria or viruses that come into the body before it can do anything? why not?

so all of that, allied with the fact that many viruses and bacteria are evolved to develop within the systems of a particular species (for example, that particular virus has evolved to grow in a cow's digestive system, and therefore can't survive for long in a monkey's or a human's), is interpreted by me as "warlocks can't contract human diseases", since warlocks are a different species from humans, as are shadowhunters. sure, they're hybrids, which makes this part of the argument a little more complicated but obviously their demon side is stronger than their human side, since they are immortal. and demons definitely aren't getting rabies or whatever because that is just too fucking lame

so okay! no human STDs. we have established that now. bUT, i think it's possible that warlocks are able to contract their OWN diseases - strains that attack warlocks specifically, particularly a warlock's magic, since again they kind of have a superbody but i feel like the magic is a more fragile thing, especially as they aren't fully magical (because they're half human)

don't ask me how these work <3 obviously magic can interact with non-magical beings and elements so maybe there are bacteria are viruses that developed specifically to settle in magical components, but that sounds like a huge evolutive leap since magic is so different from like, cells. or maybe there are also magical beings that work as disease transmitters in a similar but essentially different way. and they probably can also be transmitted via sex because i mean, why not? sounds as good a mean as any

but, could magnus and alec transmit those to each other? i don't think so, because shadowhunters have wildly different magic from the one warlocks do - their magic is angel magic, warlock's is demon magic, AND, furthermore, they work in completely different ways. for starters, shadowhunters magic is so pathetic diluted that some of them don't even consider it magic at all. i mean, that is also because of good ole racism (hardly the first time racism led people to call the exact same thing by different names so they can convince themselves their way of being is superior even when it is the same) but there is a huge difference because warlocks are able to conjure and interact with magic and have it as a part of their beings and experience of the world through it, whereas shadowhunters can "borrow" particular powers for a small period of time at best. it is possible that the magic doesn't even exist within them, they are just capable of handling it inside their bodies for some time, which is why they need runes to use it and it has a limited effect

so i think diseases that affect warlocks could not be passed between magnus and alec, and WOW is it weird to realize that magnus and alec are of different species. like i knew that but when that knowledge comes to practice it's just so weird. anyway

and idk if diseases that affect warlocks would be able to live dormant inside shadowhunters and then be transmitted because, like i said, shadowhunters have completely different magic if they even have it at all, and i don't think the disease beings that live in warlock magic would be able to be inside their body. so, to answer your first question - i don't think magnus and alec would NEED condoms, because i don't think they are capable of passing STDs to each other, and in at the very least magnus' case (debatable for alec, i tend to think that because shadowhunters are essentially human they can catch any disease humans can, altho maybe they have a rune to begone them) i don't think they can even catch human STDs. and magnus has a cum kink so that probably means no condoms

as for how warlocks deal with STDs! like i said i think they are only affected by STDs (and diseases in general) that affect their magic, not their body. so, they probably have treatments for those. we gotta remember that warlocks have a very developed society full of academics, so they probably have worked to find cures for magical diseases, if they exist at all. so, there are probably particular treatments for those. i don't think magical diseases abound or anything, particularly because the amount of magical beings is pretty limited and magic is so different from non-magical elements so non-magical beings such as viruses and bacteria would have to change a lot to be able to evolve into magic-affecting beings. again, if they even exist. but yeah i think they as a (group of) society(ies) have worked on cures for those. which is funny to think about because like, do they blast the magical diseases with begone rays or something? please say yes. id love that

with all of that being said, i hope u know that i was planning on answering asks the next weekend (not this one, the other one) cuz ive been busy as hell lately and it'll be the first time i'll have time lmao, and i was literally just in a bathroom break between readings when i saw this ask and i just couldn't resist answering it. this is it. what broke my studying resolve. magical STDs. you should be proud

mandatory disclaimer that please for the love of god use condoms, you are not immune to STDs. also, this post is about show canon, not book canon, so i don't care if this is in accordance to what the books say. also, i'm no expert in healthcare, this post is just for fun, so don't take anything i used to build my arguments as scientific truth or anything like that

#sh #shadowhunters #magnus bane #alec lightwood #dirty words #hello everyone! i have been gone for quite some time. please accept: this #now back to studying #lore #meta #ask #anonymous #long post #im not sure if this is very comprehensible but i did my best

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ralfstrashcan · 6 years

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3x08 Reaction / Commentary

Clary is so rebel putting her hands up first and then dropping her stele lol.

“So you can salt-ify her, too, when she inevitably attacks.” Great thinking, Luke! Also, how did they know it's salt? Did they lick it?

Ohhhhhhh I like where this is going!!

Ominous Elevator Rattling Powers Activate!

FunFact: I thought the shadow moving on the wall behind them was some demon Lilith summoned but it was just Simon's shadow. Oh dear.

Instant Sunroom Powers Activate!

Also, Lilith is a dirty liar. They totally didn't 'stay exactly where we are.’ (Also, now I'm having Reichenbach Fall Flashbacks.)

But what's with the other disciples? Do they get texts with the new address of the moved hang out spot? Man, that sunroom's gonna be so crowded.

........you mean New York, right, because the Lightwoods were banished from Idris for being in the Circle, which is why the Lightwood kids grew up in the NY Institute? *sigh*

.........because any orphaned Shadowhunter immediately gets tossed out into the streets instead of being raised by other Shadowhunters, you know, to be a soldier and serve the heavenly duty of killing demons. Makes sense. Okay, sorry, I get it. Jace is trying to get into Alec's head and it's clearly working and that scene was totally dramatic, but... it also didn't make sense.

How the hell does Possessed!Jace know about that? Alec had two opportunities to talk to him about his drama with Magnus (in 3x05 and in 3x06) and he chose to evade the topic altogether both times. In case he didn't change his mind off-screen and talked to him in the short time between Jace allegedly returning from the City of Bones and them discovering his possession (time that was spend with Maryse at the Hunter's Moon btw) then Jace can't know it from Alec. So, where did this knowledge magically appear from? @kaysgreenery suggested that Lilith did some research on Magnus's dating history and taught Jace all the details but why the hell would she do that. I'd like to think that this Possessed!Jace has the ability to somehow warp into the thoughts and minds of the people around him and snatch information on how to hurt them the best, but.... I don't think that's the case or that it will even be addressed how he learned that.

Again, arguing with possessed people. I still don't get it. Then again, from Simon I don't really expect more. (Sorry, Simon.)

.....yeah, Disgraced-Ex-Circle-Member-turned-Downworlder-who's-not-even-allowed-to-enter-Alicante, do tell how you plan to get that intel.

................................dude you're so sounding like Clary right now it's not even funny anymore. So yeah, thank you Izzy for being the voice of reason.

For a second there I got my hopes up that they were going to address Possessed!Jace's mindreading-powers. </3

Alec doesn't approve, lol. But I'm super into it. Lightwood siblings gooooo!! Also, love that face.

This sounds like they're gonna dive into Jace's subconsciousness or dreamscape or whatever and this would be so cool!!!!

1) Pretty skylight 2) I acknowledge that that Equilibrium Rune does make sense on the wall

Yo but why was he standing there holding the sword? He could have put it in its fancy stand as soon as he arrived. And why wasn't it on the fancy stand from the get-go? Where do they store it when there's no trial?

Sassy. I like it.

Yeah, way to misunderstand your assignment, dude. Did you even go back to that building or did you go straight to Maia to whine a little? *sigh*

“Right now, bigger fish to fry.”

Wow, finally someone who can prioritize sensibly. I'm impressed.

Yeah, a decision that should have been Simon's. Because he's the one who the case is about. And if he's constantly hating on Kyle that's helping no one. Just sayin'.

“I'll still take my not-magically-invincible girlfriend with me, you know, just in the unlikely case I get the upper hand and Lilith needs some leverage.”

Seriously, this whole Mark Business started because he was up against someone more powerful (the Seelie Queen) that held Maia hostage and blackmailed him into obeying. Didn't he learn from that?? Apparently not.

Especially because the Vampire nose at their disposal seems to be malfunctioning, falling out of commission whenever the Plot calls for it.

That smile tho.

“Especially when the Clave kicked you to the curb for breaching the Accords, slaughtering Downworlders.” Yeah, those werewolves really look like they're seconds from throwing Maryse a welcoming party.

“Well, then a deruned ex-Circle member is the last person you should be talking to.” Lightwood Women being extra reasonable this Episode, I dig it!

Also, how exactly does Luke want to “negotiate Clary's release”? I mean, call me old-fashioned, but I thought you needed leverage for a negotiation. What exactly does Luke have to offer the Clave in exchange? A few Selfies? (They might actually go for that lol.)

I'm sooo calling bullshit on this because of Maryse's behavior during the entirety of Season 1, but whatever. Also, “was having an affair with”? Does that mean Robert's relationship with this Anne-Marie person fell through? Why? In the two weeks tops that passed since 2x16? I need answers!

Luke/Maryse-Shippers crying in the distance. What is that pairing even called? Luryse? Marke? Lightluke? lol. Lightway?? (Tho that's probably a li'l ambiguous cuz there are several Lightwoods. And now I imagined Luke with Robert. Ew.)

YEAH I LIKE THAT

Imagine, if you could harness the luminous power of Parabatai Runes you'd never need electricity again.

NO WAY ALEC I THOUGHT HE WAS A C C I D E N T A L L Y THWARTING YOUR ATTEMPT AT RESCUING JACE

Dramatic Stare is Dramatic

What the hell dude lol are you trying to get yourself kicked out of the van (possibly while it's still in motion)?? Seriously. This I-know-you-so-much-better-than-your-current-boyfriend-talk is waayyyy out of character for how Kyle behaved towards Maia and Simon so far so what the hell.

On a different note, I find it very intriguing that Simon doesn't feel temperature (and is maybe even immune to very low or very high temperatures?) and I'd love to see this explored in the show.

Okay but what are the chains chained to? Magnus's furniture?? (There's not one shot where you can see where they end. Very frustrating. They're probably chained to Plot Convenience.)

That is a fine comeback.

What was Magnus even doing? He couldn't have been prepairing because he was prepared already when they tried earlier. So, what was he doing? Reapplying his make-up maybe?

Okay, but Alec's eyes were already rolling back in his head earlier

did he specifically un-roll them again

to have the last roll??

Drama Queen. Magnus chose wisely.

THAT HAIR FLICK I CAN'T

This confirms like every head canon I have on how incredibly badass Izzy is and always was, so thank you. I always had the feeling that she's probably a better fighter than Jace but didn't show it because she knew he needs the limelight and she doesn't. Also, they have super limited time and the first thing they do is watching sweet childhood memories. Priorities.

Well, I would hold hands in that case, just to be sure.

.........could have prevented this from happening. *sigh*

Lilith killed all those Seelies, does that mean she has to stay in the Seelie Realm now and that the Seelie Queen owns her life? lol

So that exchange between them was kinda enlightening but also not at all because whaaaat. Can't Lilith just track Jace, the person she herself possessed? That's a little inconvenient and dumb because she's ass powerful but can't do this easy thing? If the Mark of Cain can only be borne by a Daylighter and is also the only thing that can banish Lilith, does that mean there was a Daylighter before who bore that Mark and banished Lilith? Or was she never on earth before and banished, in which case, how does she know that's the only thing that can banish her? How do her visits to the Seelie Realm work? I thought you need to be summoned to leave your home dimension as a demon so if she was in the Seelie Realm before could she have easily walked over into the Real World as well? Was the Seelie Queen alive when Lilith last visited the Seelie Realm (which would have been at least during the time of her predecessor) or do they have pictures of her somewhere so that's why she knows what Lilith looks like? Also, that line with the complexion

is rich, coming from the Seelie Queen, like seriously, glass houses, bricks.

Same, Jia. Because what the hell, Clary.

One, I don't get why Clary told her the truth about the wish when she didn't have to, like, wasn't it her main goal to keep that truth from ever coming out?? Why would she just spill? Just because it was a dramatic gesture? Then again I also don't understand why those guards tried to restrain her immediately after she let go of the sword, like, did they want to put her back in her cell right away? And why does she need to be unrestrained to talk? Why not just put the sword back on its fancy stand and make her touch it again to tell the rest of the story? So many questions.

Two, the wish from the angel wasn't a one-time-voucher to kill everything with demon blood. Clearly, because Clary used it to bring back Jace. It was simply a wish that could be shaped by the person making the wish. So just because that wish was powerful enough that it could be used for mass murder doesn't mean the wish itself is inherently evil?! What the hell, Clary. It's like she's trying to argue why using the wish was like a public service to Shadowhunter Society?! Who's going to believe that?? At least she didn't say something pathetic like “To you, an insurmountable evil is a world overrun by demons, to me it's a world without Jace in it” because, honestly, I was half expecting her to, lol.

Sidenote: Until the end of Season 2 the Shadowhunters hadn't even figured out that the Mortal Mirror was in fact Lake Lyn, so without Clary figuring out what the Mortal Mirror was, still having that wish wouldn't have done them any good. Of course the middle of the apocalypse is always the best time to try and start figuring out where the long-lost third Mortal Instrument is, so I totally see your point, Jia.

..........why would Shadowhunters allow a feral wolf pack in the forest around their capital when Downworlders aren't even allowed to set foot into Idris? That makes no sense.

...................did Luke forget to mention the weird bloody altar? What was even the point in sticking his fingers in then? *sigh*

If Jonathan's in there I will flip my shit. Lilith definitely took him with her in that fancy display vitrine.

Okay, no Jonathan, I'm relieved.... but Jonathan was clearly stored in there in 3x03, so, Show, explain yourself. Why did Lilith decide to repot him? To better stare at him longingly? (Also, why aren’t the ley lines getting corrupted again? I’ve been wondering for a few episodes about that already....)

Just don't let your phone fall in there. That would be awkward as hell. Pun intended.

........................................................Simon. Si-mon. Are you for real. I don't even have words for this level of stupidity and recklessness. But sure. Leave those two alone to fight whoever decides to come in, without your fancy forehead mark to protect them. I mean, it's not like this is the exact reason you told them to stick close to you less than five minutes ago.

Yeah well, would have been weird if he had been studying ancient demonic languages when he was still a mundane. Also, why is no one taking advantage of the great change-werewolf-pun-opportunity??

Are you shitting me why doesn't she just say she's Izzy? She has the same Runes as Young Izzy in the same spots and everything. Then again, they cast Young Izzy looking nothing like Emeraude Toubia, so I couldn't even blame Young Jace on calling bullshit and not believing her. But this line of reasoning only makes sense if Izzy is aware that her younger self looks nothing like her which she can't possibly be because they're supposed to look alike, being the same person and everything.

Okay, so their little sing along was a little touching (tho a lot ridiculous, too, sorry) but I'd be seriously creeped out if some stranger wanted to prove their legit-ness by singing my kiddie lullaby to me like what the hell man.

Those are a lot of Claries, but why are they all wearing the same thing?

Absolutely loved the whole scene with Alec and Jace.

Okay but how did Young Jace know that he needed to bring her here? Did Young and Regular Jace ever meet? I need answers!!

Thank you for this precise and not at all vague information, Luke, as always.

I can't really make sense of that Maia Kyle Whatever Scene so I'll just leave it uncommented.

Edit: Since I was delayed in posting this for several days (because my lappy decided it would be a great time to die on me) I've had some time to think about it. I didn't like the scene when I first saw it, but I couldn't really put my finger on why. Now I know it's because of the way Maia acts, I feel like this is ooc for her. Maia is unapologetic, she takes no shit from anyone. Remember how she told Kyle off in that flashback when he wanted to decide if she got to go to college or not, or how she put Russell in his place when he thought he could comment on her relationship with Simon, or even how she pre-emptively refused to apologize for hooking up with Jace when she thought Simon expected an apology? The case I'm trying to build here is that Maia is very aware of what she wants, what she will accept in regards to behavior of another person towards her, and where she draws the line, where she will put her foot down and not accept something. So seeing her basically begging Kyle to not act like he's in any way likable so she can cling to her resentment for him is strange for two reasons:

1) It makes it seem as if she's not in control of her emotions, as if her resentment is something she needs to actively fuel to maintain it. This is the stellar opposite of how she acted towards him in the last episode, where she was confidently hostile.

2) It makes it seem as if what Kyle did isn't something where it's entirely reasonable and justifiable to be angry and hurt and unforgiving about even after a long time has passed. When someone betrays and abandons you like that (like Maia undoubtedly experienced his actions) you don't really need to exert yourself to not-forgive that person. That's natural, isn't it? Of course one could argue that it's not as black-and-white here because she was in love with him and it's not like he was some stranger betraying her.... but to be honest, the way she acted towards him up until this very scene, including the flashbacks, didn't really make it seem as if their past loving relationship was influencing Maia. So I really don't get why it's suddenly the case.

I mean, I do. If Sizzy is endgame (yikes), then Simon and Maia will have to split up at some point and Maia and Kyle will probably be a thing somewhere along the way. But I feel like this current behavior isn't really ic for Maia and that's why it annoys me, even though I have nothing against the pairing Maia/Kyle per se.

Where they seriously trying to make it seem as if Izzy would kill Jace lol I didn't believe that for a second. I was also totally distracted by the fact that she licked her lips and her lip stick stayed on fleek like how do you do that Izzy let me in on your secret powers please.

Leaving all that aside this scene was perfectly acted and very intense..... but. I don't know if that makes me really insensitive or something, but they were under immense time pressure. If all it took to get them back was grabbing hold of each other's hands I really don't get why Alec and Izzy didn't do just that. There would have been enough time to placate Jace when they were back in their own bodies without the very real threat of getting lost in Jace's mind forever hanging over their heads. Of course it would have been a shock for Jace to be ripped out of his environment and be thrown back into his body, but honestly, he must be so heavily traumatized by all that Lilith did to him that this little thing wouldn't even register in comparison. So yeah, call me heartless, but it would have been more efficient to grab Jace and talk him down once they were safe.

I'm asking again. How did the Seelie Queen know where Jace was? And, seriously, why didn't Lilith think to check Magnus's appartment, I mean she must know Alec is Jace's parabatai and that Magnus is Alec's boyfriend and a powerful warlock. When Jace didn't come back to her it would have been reasonable to assume that the other Shadowhunters had gotten to him and would try to save him, seeking out capable help.

Soooooo Magnus is officially Asmodeus's favorite. Dubious honor.

I don't know if it's the camera angle or that cute eyebrow crunch, but to me Magnus looks so much like a cat while Lilith is choking him, so I was inappropriately cooing during this scene. Shame on me.

If those are the chains immediately after Lilith takes Jace... does that mean he was chained to himself the whole time??? Like, ankles to wrists?????

Edit: Found a BTS pic that explains it:

So apparently there are these neat anchorages that anchor the chains to..... the fluffy rug!! Extremely durable and a hundred percent tearproof!!! Hell yeah.

I get that Alec feels super guilty but honestly, think about it. If he'd killed Jace he wouldn't have killed his body. He would have killed his consciousness, his soul maybe. Meaning the possession would have been given free reign over his body. Killing Jace while they where inside his mind would have killed the last part that was fighting against the possession. It would have made everything way worse.

Funny you say that like it's a cute quirk when really it's pretty invasive and selfish.

Oh man, those subtitles totally ruined the suspense. (Also, how is Clary supposed to learn and understand when she's dead, lol.)

I'm so thrilled to find out how they're gonna get rid of that death sentence. Or will Clary be a fugitive from the law for 3B? I'd totally be up for that, too.

(Gif Source, BTS Pic Source)

#shadowhunters #3x08 #alec lightwood #magnus bane #jace wayland #isabelle lightwood #clary fray #maia roberts #simon lewis #kyle #luke garroway #maryse lightwood #jia penhallow #lilith #the seelie queen #ollie #reaction

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warlocklight · 6 years

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Shadowhunters Fandom

Hey, so I’ve been waiting a few days to understand how I’m feeling about this whole Dom situation, and in truth, hoping that those feelings would diminish. Since they haven’t, I’ve decided to write down my thoughts as a therapeutic way to better reconcile what I’ve been going through.

I’d first like to say that this isn’t about hate. I don’t have hate in my heart right now, I just have a deep sadness that I can’t seem to release. I’m not one that holds onto things that people do. I’m of the mind that, if celebrities are problematic, you acknowledge it and move on. It’s happened so many times where a celebrity has said or done something awful that I’m pretty much immune to it. I decide if their actions are bad enough to stop supporting them, or blown out of proportion, and go on. Either way, I shed no tears. This situation with Shadowhunters, however is most markedly different, and as much as I try to, I can’t get over it.

I’ve been doing my best to dissect why it’s affected me so much. I’m a gay boy of color, and this show has given me something that no other show has: a sense of inclusion. Since I first found out about this show over the summer, it’s been a major positive factor in my life. I watched it all the time, even just having it on in the background when I’m doing something else or as I’m going to sleep. It’s been a light, and a hope in my life when I needed it most, something to look forward to and strengthened me.

It’s more than a show to me, and I love a host of shows, many of which are supernatural-based. There’s Buffy, Supernatural and Teen Wolf, all of which I love, but there was always something missing from these shows, and that was me. I’m so accustomed to seeing myself in other characters that don’t share my same traits. I’m an empathic person so that comes naturally, but in this show I didn’t have to do that. I could see myself as characters in this show, the struggles, the emotions, the reactions, the external and the internal without having to manipulate the narrative to pretend like people like me have been included when we aren’t.

Minorities are usually in the background, used to support the main stars and they don’t get to be fleshed out like straight, white people. These are simply the facts. When it comes to gay representation, it’s still mostly white to fit a status quo. I love representation in its many forms: female characters, characters with disabilities, characters of color, different sexual orientations, that’s the world that we live in and the one I want to see represented. As I watched SH, I was impressed by their intention to not only represent so many people that are often not shown, but their respect in making sure that they’re well-rounded characters, and I think it’s in this that lies the answer to my question.

Matt mentioned it in the apology video, when he addressed that fans relied on this show and that this show supported them and still does. I relied on this show to help me feel balanced in a very unbalanced world, and I truly don’t feel supported right now. Honestly, I feel like I’ve just been laughed at behind my back. Dom walking in and calling Matt by that word so casually felt like he was saying, “Hey, I can call you this because you just play a gay on TV, but you’re not really a gay so it’s cool,” and for as much as I want to move past it, I can’t seem to. Or perhaps it was towards the character himself, the one I look up to and find strength in, only to be cut down by a word that’s been meant to inflict pain. I feel deeply hurt on a level that I haven’t felt before. It’s a TV show, there’s countless others in this genre with similar themes, but they’re still not Shadowhunters.

I know people aren’t perfect, but this was the one show I had that made me feel like I was a part of something, that I could be powerful and a hero all the while being who I truly am. Seeing Alec’s story arc inspired me; having to keep your emotions inside, and in return having them come out in negative ways was relatable to me. But his growth into accepting who he is and taking on a leadership role based on his qualities, and finding love is so inspirational. Magnus has been influential because he’s a person of color that’s so very powerful and proud, but he has hidden depths within him that show his sensitivity and fears, and yet he still faces them and conquers them. (Also his wardrobe.) It felt so empowering that it’s hard to even describe. It’s something that’s taken for granted by many, but this was the first time where it felt like I had it myself, and it feels like it’s been taken away.

I’ve tried to see the situation from the other side as well. Things can be said playfully and they’re not meant to hurt, but in actuality it hasn’t made me feel better. I’m from the suburbs and most of my friends have been straight white guys. I know what it feels like to be the only person in a group and having to laugh off racial jokes and homophobic comments, and how it cuts into a part of you, how it makes you feel less-than and not truly appreciated or seen, but you want to be included so you try to minimize it. It’s not an enviable position, it’s one that cuts deep and leaves you feeling guilty about betraying a part of yourself when all you’ve wanted to do was to be accepted. What happened in the livestream was not that situation, and I can’t help but imagine how many times something like this so casually happens, and coming from my heroes is a depressing thought.

Once again, I’m aware that people make mistakes. If I found out anything like this happened with the other shows I watch, I’d probably just cancel it and move on, but in such a short period of time SH has meant so much to me that I feel like I really don’t know what to do. This hits close to home, and it’s left me feeling lonely and uncared for. It’s been a few days, and already this is the longest I’ve gone without rewatching an episode, and instead I restarted TW to fill my supernatural need of seeing young people persevere over dire threats—but it’s not the same.

What it comes down to, is that I no longer feel like I’m included in a fandom that I thought was on my side for once, and it’s been devastating.

#shadowhunters #Alec Lightwood #Magnus Bane #dom sherwood #matthew daddario #malec

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themaleficperformers-blog · 7 years

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Chapter XXVI: Cecilia/Ronan

Cecilia wandered through the institute, her cheek bandaged up to the best of her own ability. She didn’t think it was bad enough to warrant a healing rune, and if it did scar, she was sure it would fade eventually.

Still, it was the middle of the night, and sleep was evading her. The rush of adrenaline, the high from the fight had gone hours ago, and while she was exhausted, she was kept awake with questions.

None of it made sense. Why would the vampires be behind this? Why would they kill the Ravenscar boy. Edward, the name only made her think of her Edward. Both killed, no doubt in similar fashions.

It wasn’t long before she found herself in what looked to be the library-- the walls being lined with books, and all.

She used to read a lot, when she was a child. She’d been a huge fan of adventure books, letting herself get lost in them, night after night… Until she’d learned of the shadow world, and her part in it.

Cecilia shoved her hand in her pocket, and took out her still empty pack of cigarettes. Still, she opened it, as if somehow it would have magically refilled.

She’d need to actually make a trip out, to a mundane store to get more… And soon. She shoved the container back in her pocket and instead made her way through the shelves, humming to herself as she browsed.

After the fight, Ronan spent a great deal of time pacing in his room. He was lucky to be alive, he knew. He also knew that he should take time for himself to breathe and clear his head, but he couldn’t get the lifeless face of Edward Ravenscar out of his mind. Once he felt calm enough, he headed into Oswald’s study and told him nearly everything. He explained that he was alone, walking near the den, and heard Edward scream from inside. He told him that he rushed in, but it was too late for his son. Ronan had never seen someone so distraught. At first, Oswald cried, but his tears quickly turned to anger, and disbelief. Oswald insisted that Ronan was lying, but called upon the Clave anyway. Within the minute, a group of Shadowhunters and a Warlock by the name of Diz entered the Institute. They all left for the den, well equipped, and ready to find the body of the High Inquisitor’s son.

After the meeting, Ronan stumbled along the corridors of the Institute, thinking of visiting Clara, but he knew it was far too late now, and he didn’t want to wake her. He instead saw Cecilia heading into the library, and followed the trail of flaming curls. He wasn’t sure as to why, but he couldn’t bear to be alone with his thoughts now.

He skulked near the edge of the room, where the shadows were heavy. When he saw her pull out a seemingly empty pack of cigarettes, he stepped into the candle light, folding his arms over his chest.

“Nasty habit, you know,” he spoke. “Those can lead to death just as much as a Vampire.”

Cecilia turned at the sound of Ronan’s voice and smirked, “You know, people have been telling me that for years.” She said, “No one’s given me solid proof of the link between the two, though.”

In truth, she herself couldn’t deny that it was disgusting. The only reason she tried to only smoke outside was to keep the stink of stale smoke from clinging to her.

“Either way, I doubt dying from this is gonna hurt near as bad as a downworlder.” Her mind went straight to that night, all those years ago, and she glanced down at her marriage rune, for just a fraction of a second. “Shouldn’t you be in bed, Hightower? Or telling your girl scary stories to try and dissuade her from our way of life?”

She turned her gaze to the shelf beside her. Most of the titles seemed to be information on downworlders, nothing that Cecilia was really in the mood to check out.

Ronan furrowed his eyebrows, thinking of how sleep would be nearly impossible tonight.

“How I raise my daughter is none of your concern,” he muttered, his voice growing cold. “However, I do wonder why you seem so concerned on Clara learning to fight. She is perfectly safe here, has a better education than any mundane - or Shadowhunter - child this side of the country. I’d just prefer to not let my daughter die before I do.”

Cecilia glanced over her shoulder, “But you can’t keep her here forever. You keep her on that tight of a leash, she’ll just rebel, and resent you.”

She shrugged, “But, what would I know about raising kids.” She added, honestly.

“The Ravenscar kid.” She said, suddenly wanting to change the subject. “Are you sure you.. You know, found him?” She turned around to look at Ronan, “I mean... Why would they kill him?”

Ronan shrugged off any thought of his daughter, instead focusing on the night. It almost seemed like years ago at this moment, here in the library with the strange woman who had too many things to say about his personal life. It couldn’t be ignored, he knew, no matter how much he wanted it to be.

He sighed, nodding. “If you’re asking if I was lying to distract Simone, no, I was not. He was there, chained to the wall, throat slashed open. You’re welcome to check it out for yourself, if Oswald doesn’t beat you to the punch.”

Cecilia looked to the floor, and closed her eyes. “No. I would not like to check it out.” She muttered, her voice on edge.

She didn’t know why it affected her this way. She’d not known the boy, but there was something about his name being the same that made that damn day play over and over again in her head, his last words repeat in her ears.

“As a father, I would have thought you’d be a bit more sympathetic to Oliver’s loss, no matter how angry you are about him taking over your Institute.” She added, forcing herself to look up at Ronan again.

Ronan stepped closer, leaning his shoulder against the bookshelf. It was then that he realized just how much shorter the woman was than him. Nearly a foot, it seemed. Archery suited a small woman well - it was a smart weapon of choice.

“It’s not that I don’t feel,” he said softly, “and it’s not that I don’t pity him - I hate him, do not misunderstand me. However, it’s things like this that make be believe that I am doing right by Clara. Oswald allowed Edward to train as a Shadowhunter. Hell, he even encouraged it. My daughter will never lift a blade against a Demon or Downworlder, and therefore, she will die when she is old and brittle. Not before she can experience life. I just believe that what Oswald allowed his son to do was selfish. He’s not alone, of course. Most Shadowhunters who allow themselves to reproduce are selfish.”

“What? You think mundanes are immune to the downworlders?” Cecilia asked, letting out a loud laugh, “You think not letting her learn to protect herself is right? Even after we both watched a vampire attack a mundane girl, who knew nothing about our world?” She shook her head.

She didn’t even want to point out his hypocrisy in thinking Shadow Hunters shouldn’t reproduce-- considering Clara and all. “Who would protect the mundanes if our kind stopped reproducing?” She asked, crossing her arms. She had to crane her neck to actually look at him.

Ronan nearly chuckled, watching Cecilia become nearly enraged at his stance. She was like a stubborn teenager, he concluded. Most likely never having to deal with much beyond fighting a Downworlder or two here and there.

“If I had it my way, there would be no bridge between the Shadow World and the Mundane world,” he said, looking over his shoulder, as if the entirety of the Clave would be there, ready to launch him from the building at his words. “There are ways to create Shadowhunters, you know. Ways that do not involve reproduction. I think that being born into a world where all you are taught is how to kill and survive is a bit cruel, do you not? Should a child not have a say in what he is to do with his life? Should he be thrown into a situation he has no control over? I think that is what causes rebellion, Cecilia. Not having a parent who is protective.”

He realized that his voice was beginning to rise, and he clenched his jaw, trying to calm himself. He cursed himself for not renewing his ‘calm anger’ rune before interacting with the likes of these people.

“My parents tried to do the same thing you’re trying to do to Clara, to me.” She snapped. “I didn’t even know Nephilim existed until the Clave gave me my first official invitation to train. I had to run away to train. They thought a boring life in the middle of nowhere should be enough.”

She took a deep breath. “Look, you say kids should have a choice, but you’re not giving Clara a choice. She seems to want to learn to fight, but you won’t allow it. My parents barely let me leave the house without checking in all the time, and look at me now; I’m twenty-five, homeless--” She was about to mention having been widowed, as well, but awkwardly changed it to; “--I-I haven’t seen my parents in nearly ten years now.”

She shook her head, she had no idea where she was going with this whole thing. “Look, I’m sorry. It really isn’t any of my business...”

“You’re right,” Ronan said. “It’s not.”

He left her with that, turning on his heels and heading out of the room. He didn’t know what else to do at that moment. He thought talking to someone would get his mind off of the situation, but it only ended up pissing him off.

He took the stairs two at a time, heading into his quarters before stepping into the bathroom. He stripped off his dirty, torn clothes, and turned the shower on, letting the warm water wash away any thoughts of the night before he turned in.

Cecilia let out an annoyed groan as he left. No one had ever been able to get under her skin the way that Ronan Hightower did. It was a shame, really. She’d hoped they’d be able to get on well, especially now that this damn mystery seemed to be far from over. Hell, she had figured they should trust each other, all of them, if they were going to fight together.

She waited a good ten minutes, then made her way out of the library, through the halls and down and out of the institute. She really needed a cigarette, or two... Or five... And if she had to walk all over the city to find some, she would. (Though she doubted it would come to that. There had to be at least one gas station within walking distance.)

#Cecilia #Ronan #Script

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singingwordwright · 7 years

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Chapters: 1/1 Fandom: Shadowhunters (TV) Rating: Teen And Up Audiences Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Relationships: Magnus Bane/Alec Lightwood Characters: Alec Lightwood, Magnus Bane Additional Tags: Angst, Introspection, First Date, Awkwardness Series: Part 3 of A Series of Completely Not Awkward Encounters

When he first opens his eyes, Alec isn’t sure where he is. But the unique amalgamation of renovated industrial space meets old-world bordello quickly places him in Magnus’s loft.

On the sofa. Where he passed out after Magnus fixed him a drink. A glimpse at the end-table shows the glass still sitting there, almost untouched.

Alec twists when he hears a rustle behind him. Magnus is standing at a bookshelf he doesn’t recall being there before, filling it with tomes from a sizeable stack against the wall. Alec squints at them.

“Didn’t I see some of those at Camille’s apartment?”

“Ah, you’re awake!” Magnus deposits the book he’s holding with a flourish and turns to smile at him. He moves with a fluttery, bustling sort of energy that Alec is beginning to suspect happens only when Magnus is trying too hard to keep things light. “And yes. At one time I had left a sizeable portion of my library with Camille and then never reclaimed them because I kept putting off the distasteful task of dealing with her. But since she appears to have flitted off to parts unknown to avoid Raphael as well as whatever unpleasantness Valentine might have in store for us, I figured now was the best opportunity I’d have to get them back. Did you rest well?”

Magnus tosses the question out easily, returning his attention to cataloging books. Nonetheless, Alec feels his face beginning to heat. This was not how he wanted their first date to go. “I—I didn’t mean to—What was in that drink?”

“The drink you barely touched?” Magnus chuckles. “It’s less the contents of the drink than the fact that I got you to sit down to drink it. You were operating much like a bicycle.”

Alec gives him a narrow look. “If this is leading to an innuendo, I’m not sure I want to know.”

“Tempting, but too easy.” Magnus’s grin sparkles brighter than all his jewelry. “No, the punchline is just that you could remain upright only so long as you were still in motion.” His smile fades and he leans a shoulder against the bookshelf. The casual pose is just the smallest bit too contrived; Alec has started to see, now, how often Magnus disguises concern behind a blithe façade. “Had I known just how exhausted you were, I might have insisted you stay home and rest.”

Alec sighs and hangs his head, checking his pockets. “Right. Yeah. It’s been—” He breaks off, patting harder when his search comes up empty, an edge of worry creeping in.

“Looking for this?” Magnus waggles his phone in front of him and Alec blinks in surprise, not only at its appearance but at Magnus’s sudden nearness. “Your sister called twice, once to say she and Clary Fairchild were tracking down a possible lead and that she would follow up with you to let you know if it panned out, and then again to inform you that no, it had not.”

Alec takes the phone and sighs, his shoulders slumping. “Damn. Wait. She didn’t wonder why you were answering my phone?”

Magnus drops a cheeky wink. “Oh, I’m sure she had her theories, but rather than leave it to chance, I made certain to inform her that you were sprawled out naked on my bed, sleeping the sleep of the well and truly post-coital.”

Alec chokes on spit and his face ignites. “ What ?” He gawks at Magnus, his eyes watering as he coughs.

Grin broadening, Magnus leans closer, his voice dropping to a timbre that settles somewhere south of Alec’s navel. “Should I have told her the truth?” he purrs. The effect of his tone is so far opposite that of his words that Alec isn’t sure he won’t simply melt down in sheer bewilderment. “Imagine her crushing disappointment if she thought you spent our first date snoring on my couch.”

Torn between crawling under the sofa cushions in mortification and taking advantage of the fact that Magnus is so damned close, Alec slumps against the back of the sofa, closes his eyes, and groans. “Oh God. I’m so, so sorry…”

Magnus continues as though he doesn’t hear the apology, and his voice is so close to Alec’s ear that every nerve ending on that side of his body lights up. “Of course, I’m not entirely certain she believed me. We may have to brainstorm some form of evidence to offer. Souvlaki?”

Alec’s brain stumbles, trying to follow the non-sequitur while simultaneously offering a number of uncensored suggestions relating to the concept of “evidence.” Consequently, words abandon him, leaving him stammering. It happens frequently enough in Magnus’s presence as to be humiliatingly commonplace.

“S-sorry, what?”

A slow smile curls Magnus’s shimmery lips and his eyes twinkle with a humor than Alec suspects would seem mocking on anyone else, but on Magnus it’s just gentle and understanding and fun . “I took the liberty of ordering in, since it seemed like there was a chance we wouldn’t make it to dinner after all. Are you hungry?”

Alec can’t help but smile back. “Yeah, I guess I am. Izzy’s been trying to cook more than usual lately. I think she’s trying to figure out the concept of comfort food.”

Magnus beams and he offers Alec a hand to pull him off the sofa. He accepts without thinking, then grunts as muscles that stiffened during his nap protest.

“Tough patrol last night?” Magnus asks, his head tipping to the side and his eyes narrowing a little as he scans Alec for hints of injury.

“Not exactly.” Alec sighs ruefully, rubbing his ribs as he follows Magnus into the kitchen. “Ever heard the old saying about the most dangerous opponent being the untrained one?”

Magnus’s soft chuckle is almost musical, the mellow, resonant low register of a xylophone gently thrumming along Alec’s spine until the sound finds a home somewhere beneath his sternum. “Ah. Been sparring with the newest addition to your merry Nephilim tribe, I take it?”

“Well, someone has to. Izzy insists that I do it, supposedly because Clary has to learn to fight things that are bigger than she is.” He smiles wryly and takes a seat on a stool at a breakfast bar as Magnus dishes up food for them both. “I don’t buy it. Either she’s trying to avoid injury herself, or she’s trying to broker peace. Good luck with that. We have a common goal now. That doesn’t make us friends.”

There’s something deceptively bland about Magnus’s regard. Alec might have fallen for it if he hadn’t been one the receiving end of a similar stare from Lydia just a few hours ago. “What?”

“Nothing. Nothing.” Magnus shakes himself and sets a plate before Alec, conjuring two glasses of wine into being in front of them before hitching himself up onto the other stool. “I just find this tension between you and Clary curious. The two of you have so much in common.”

“Aside from Jace?” Alec gives him a dubious look.

Magnus’s face tightens for a fraction of a second, then smoothes over. Perhaps their first date isn’t a great time to remind him that there’s a small (and continually shrinking) part of Alec still trying to let go of the infatuation he’d nurtured for his parabatai for years. He’s starting to see how ridiculous it was, and that it was mostly born out of a naive belief that life would always be just Alec and Izzy and Jace, together. Other people might come and go on the fringes of that dynamic, but they would never penetrate the center and disrupt it. That made Jace the object of Alec’s yearning by default.

It was a stupid, childish way of thinking...but it’s also hard to let go of something that habitual and deeply ingrained.

Alec clears his throat and moves past that. “I don’t see that we have anything in common, and I don’t think I’d want to. I mean, okay, I guess it’s not totally her fault that she turned absolutely everything upside down from the moment we came across her, but God, it’s been exhausting and she’s just so damned oblivious to what she’s doing to anyone else when she’s got her mind set on something.”

Silence falls for a thoughtful moment.

“What I was actually referring to is your passionate, all-consuming devotion to family.” Magnus’s bright voice has become somewhat muted. “And personally, I don’t think Clary is oblivious at all. She knows very well what she’s done, but she’s had no more choice than you would have in the same situation. Imagine if it had been Isabelle who disappeared the way Jocelyn did. Whose tidy apple-cart of a life would you have scrupled to upset in your quest to get her back?”

The few bites he’s managed to eat settle uncomfortably in Alec’s stomach and he finds himself twiddling idly with a denuded skewer. The tender lamb he slid off it is no longer very flavorful. The harsh words he’s spoken about Clary—even to the point of calling her manhunt for her mother a pointless crusade —don’t sit very well with him when considered in that light. If anyone ever described a hypothetical search for someone Alec loved in such a dismissive way, much less tried to impede Alec’s attempts to find them, he would put them head-first through a wall.

The wave of irritation with himself that swells up and threatens to drown Alec comes as a surprise. It strikes him like a blow, how wrong-headed he’s been lately about so very many things.

What is he doing here? Why does Magnus even want him here? He’s tight-assed and judgmental and he comes from a long line of bigots in a culture full of bigots and he knows now that he has not been entirely immune to the influence of that upbringing. He can barely string together three words in Magnus’s presence, and when he’s managed it, they’ve most often been harsh rebuffs of affectionate overtures. And the rest of the time they’ve been outpourings of concern for the other guy he’s still partially hung-up on.

And then, just to complete his image as a total clod, he goes and falls asleep barely minutes into their first date.

About the only flaw Alec can no longer bludgeon himself with is the cowardice of still being closeted. He wishes he could reclaim the surety he felt in those few instants between striding away from the altar and the completion of the kiss he’d laid on Magnus there in front of everyone. The righteous self-assurance that had led to him looking his parents squarely in the eye and telling them he was going to be with Magnus and they’d better get used to the idea.

He’d liked that version of himself. He wants to figure out how to find that guy again.

Magnus hasn’t spoken again. He’s leaving Alec alone with his thoughts. Not pushing. Waiting for him to process this new perspective.

“Why haven’t you given up on me?” Alec blurts. It sounds pathetic. Like he’s fishing for compliments or reassurance. But he needs to know. “The way I treated you… Some of the things I said… I mean, you tell me how longs it’s been and then you keep putting yourself out there for me and then I accuse you of.. I-I… What I’m saying is, I know it’s not a game to you. That was unfair. And I’m sorry.”

Magnus smiles that sympathetic smile. Glittery and charming, but with an underside of tenderness that Alec feels like a hug. A smile that says Magnus knows all about mistakes because he’s probably made every one that can be made at least twice over, and it’s okay.

“No one is just their confusion or resentment or fear or angst,” he says, his words gentle despite the lightness in his tone. “People have layers.”

Alec squints at him. “You planning to try to tell me Freud said that, too?”

“No, that philosophy is courtesy of an ogre named Shrek.”

Alec blinks, then shakes his head with wry amusement as Magnus grins.

“And there’s the other reason.” Magnus’s hand is as warm as his eyes when it settles along Alec’s jaw, his thumb brushing Alec’s bottom lip where it’s drawn up into a helpless smile. “Like the sun peeking out between clouds on a stormy day.”

Maybe Alec can’t quite seize onto the courage that drove him back down that aisle to plant that desperate kiss on Magnus the first time, but he doesn’t need it. All he needs to do is follow the invitation in that hand back to the person it’s attached to and lay claim to the kiss that’s waiting for him when he arrives.

It’s not quite as terrifying this time, but no less exhilarating. What follows is a long moment filled with breathy gasps and soft moans, of bodies moving unconsciously closer to one another, seeking hands transitioning to encircling arms, fabric rubbing on fabric and fingers carding through silky hair.

When they part, Alec’s heart is knocking hard against his ribs and Magnus’s breath gusts shallowly against his neck. His lips seek Magnus’s jaw like they’re pulled there by gravity, and he slurs his next words against skin that smells like aftershave and herbs.

“So, out of curiosity? Just what were you thinking when you mentioned ‘evidence’...?”

BUY ME A CUP OF COFFEE!!

#shadowhunters #malec #alec #magnus #fanfic #my fics #a kinder fiction #post-1x13 #s1ep13 #s1

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