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#but the vocal acrobatics are incredible. good god
viksalos · 1 year
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Wayfaring Stranger, performed by Lingua Ignota at Basement East, Nashville TN 11-14-2022
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dujour13 · 1 year
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AJQW Siavash and Woljif for the NSFW ask game!
Thank you Siren!! ❤️ - NSFW headcanon asks
A - Acrobatics - How bendy can they get in bed? What is their favourite position?
Favorite positions first: Woljif just loves to have Siavash on his knees. There’s nothing like a spectacular blowjob to make you feel like you own the world. In my headcanon he’s a top for Siavash’s bottom, couldn’t have hoped for a more suitable arrangement. His manual dexterity is one of Siavash’s favorite things in the world but things don’t get very acrobatic until the post-ascension orgies and then Woljif’s overall dexterity comes in handy so to speak.
J - Jungle - How well groomed is their carpet, etc.? 
A little bit hairy but pleasantly so? Siavash uses a cantrip to keep his face clean-shaven but he’s a natural kinda guy, so that does not go for the rest of his body. In fact, he might even have worn a beard if it didn’t grow in sparse and patchy. As a half-elf, he doesn’t have a lot of body hair: just a nice downy layer of tawny blond across his chest and down his torso that is extremely warm, soft and comfy. That’s one of the main things Woljif especially made mental note of during the skinny-dipping party at Wintersun. As for Woljif, he honestly never gave that kind of grooming a thought until he was with somebody, and since Siavash goes au naturel so does he. He has very little chest hair, but does have that sacred line running down from the navel that’s just incredibly sexy. Post-ascension when they start branching out he begins to admire and adopt a sleeker look.
Ran out of Qs so I gave you an M :)
M - Moan - How vocal are they in the bedroom (or elsewhere)? Do they turn to mush, or keep up the talk?
Siavash is a singer in more than one way, especially as a bottom. It’s more of the breathless/ecstatic than the loud variety though—usually. Also he is aware that calling out Woljif’s name drives him insane. Their first time together Woljif’s a little embarrassed that he lets loose, but Siavash’s unabashed noisemaking gives him permission, and after that he’s a lot more comfortable with it. And good thing too, because there’s nothing that quite gets Siavash as flustered as that little half-whimper, half-grunt he makes.
W - Wish - What’s one of their wildest fantasies?
Here’s one of Siavash’s: to be utterly ravished by a wily and sexy horned god!
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Quick Guide to My Characters
The main cast part six divided by three.
I’d advise checking the previous one of these posts in case you’re wondering why I’m making this. The purpose of the post is pretty self explanatory. Anyway, onto the other side of the main cast!
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Ifrit Dawnsview
- Phoenix’s little brother, plus youngest out of the entire main cast (16 years old)
- former prince of Dawnsview, currently trying to help overthrow the kingdom’s corrupt government
- a bookworm and a scientific prodigy (and a wannabe mad scientist)
- intelligent, but also terribly naive. He will sometimes ignore things if they risk disproving him, and he has a “everyone is good deep down” sort of mentality
- has the power of being a heat conductor, and said power tends to make him ill. Before you ask, yes, it’s as useless as it sounds
- has injury/big ol’ scratch over left eye that is usually bandaged to prevent infection, later gets swapped out for magic eye bc why not?
- not good in fights that aren’t 1 on 1 (and isn’t the greatest fighter in general). He does kinda know how to weild a sword, but is mostly good with a crossbow
- “I’m not gay!” (You sure about that?)
- gets possessed plus gains powers from the god of trickery, and since he and the god aren’t compatible, he kinda starts to loose it, but let’s... not continue that running gag from last post
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Wasp / “Harpy”
- Former military medic and current medic for the rebels. Also he’s a fairy
- is kinda sus to the rest of the gang (save for Ifrit), since he comes out of nowhere and tends to disappear for long periods of time
- he’s currently dealing with this situation where he’s forced to serve the kingdom of Dawnsview while presenting himself as a girl. After being captured, it was the only way he was allowed to keep his life
- the whole “you must present yourself as female” thing comes from the fact that Wasp is actually trans, and happens to come from a culture that has a different view of gender in general. Basically, the people in charge took him identifying as male as being “dishonest” and “loyal to another kingdom”. So hence why Wasp is also known as “Harpy”, for when he’s serving the crown
- as luck would have it, as “Harpy”, wasp actually ended up kinda raising/looking after Phoenix and Ifrit, and helped them escape the kingdom. He’s still very protective of Ifrit
- Has the ability to create illusions strong enough to be interacted with physically
- can duel weild swords and has physical combat skills.
- actually had his wings torn off when he was captured. The ones he has are just illusions
- unsurprisingly he has ptsd
- is good friends with the grim reaper, who covers for him when he has to help out Ifrit and the others.
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Syrellis Cul
- a nightingale shapeshifter (he can turn into a giant bird)
- a former pickpocket who’s estranged from his (large) adoptive family of crow shifters, the Cul Murder / Cul family
- fights with wires (yes), a switchblade, has close combat skills, and will use anything to hand
- is a massive sweetheart, and still has “older brother instincts” (he has quite a few younger siblings and cousins). He’s often empathetic to a fault, and can sometimes be considered “too nice for his own good”
- is almost instinctively distrustful of those who are wealthy and/or have a certain amount of political/social power, due to past experiences of his
- has a massive inferiority complex and is self sacrificial to a fault
- is obvious team mom
- comes into conflict with Nymph a lot, and he will often end up playing devil’s advocate for those Nymph deems as “criminals”, “undeserving of help”, etc
- has an outwardly chill and mostly laid back attitude, although he can be socially awkward
- becomes sort of a pseudo older brother figure to Ifrit
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Nymph
- elf (little over 3 feet tall )
- tracker / hunter with a pack of wolves as buddies. Becomes leader in rebel group going against Dawnsview
- was cast out of her tribe and left to die after being charged for a crime she didn’t commit. Said crime was the murder of her 11 brothers, who, alongside Nymph, was attacked. Nymph survived, but her vocal cords were severed. She was unable to defend herself at her own trial
- Mute (obviously). Has several ways of communicating, such as sign language, writing, and using Morse code
- has a strong sense of justice, and will be quick to punish wrong doers. On the other hand, she’s also hesitant to feel any sympathy for even petty criminals. It’s because of this that she’s incredibly distrustful of Chess and Syrellis
- is also distrustful of Wasp for reasons stated in his section. She only really trusts Ifrit, but not that much. She even sees him as dead weight a lot of the time due to his frequent inability to defend himself in combat
- has a “do whatever it takes to survive” mentality which often clashes with that strong sense of justice
- acts super aggressive, and will gladly yeet anyone across a field if they mention her height. In one of her better moods, she’s mostly sarcastic and passive aggressive
- has acrobat skills for days, impressive stamina, can go head to head with wolves in wrestling matches, and you bet she can use that spear of hers. She also has several small knives on her, and is an expert on setting up traps. She can also apparently talk to wolves
- mainly acts as aggressive as she does because, more than anything, she fears being in a situation where she was as helpless as she was after losing her voice.
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Chess Shire
- former mercenary, former queen of thieves. She was once the most notorious jewel thief in the world, but abandoned that life after it became boring to her.
- former team mate to Chronos (and possible ex lover). They both totally don’t still have feelings for each other
- fights like a ninja or an assassin. Will sneak up behind people to kill them, or pull some James Bond shit to deal with them. She has a fancy looking antique gun, but she will use anything she can get her hands on.
- has the power of omnipresence. Within a five metre radius all around her, chess can be in multiple places at once. You could be standing in front of her, looking at her, while at the same time, unbeknownst to you, she also has her hands in your jacket pocket, robbing you blind
- she’s actually qualified to be a therapist. She studied psychology extensively to help her in her thieving persuits, and she can still freak people out by being able to predict someone’s next move accurately, and also being able to get someone to unload their personal baggage to her
- has a theatrical flair and enjoys communicating in half truths and riddles for the hell of it
- is an adrenaline junkie who will gladly take up your offer to go bungee jumping off the top of a mountain. Most of what she does is motivated by her thinking that it’ll be fun
- is one of those people that will wear revealing clothing to distract people. Not that she needs to, but she still enjoys doing it bc hey it’s fun to watch people get flustered
- is secretly lonely and her seemingly untouchable outward attitude hides a heart of glass. Chess has never been in a relationship or even a friendship where she felt that she could be honest with someone, or not feel as through she had to put on this big act because of who she was. Well, not since Chronos anyways.....
- Chess is in reality much more patient and empathetic than she lets on. She does care deeply for those around her, and will gladly aid someone in achieving their goals. She’s also not afraid to be the realistic one who calls someone out when their plans or views are not as correct as they think. She’ll also be the first to pull someone aside to talk if they need help, and will be quick to advocate for them if need be.
Hope this helps you guys. And feel free to tell me what characters here seem interesting, or if you have questions about them. Hell, tell me if you dislike them! Feedback helps a lot:)
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hoshigomi · 4 years
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Valley of Xuanyao // RAY! (not a review.)
Some thoughts on Xuanyao/Genyou/Dazzling Valley/Mysterious Valley/whatever you want to call it + Ray!
(This isn’t a fully-formed, plot critical review by any stretch of the imagination, but I wanted a chance to say everything I loved about these pieces of theatre, as well as a few criticisms I have.) (These are all my opinions and I’m sure people would agree or disagree with plenty of them!) (It’s literally just a couple lists, read at your own discretion.)
There are MANY SPOILERS HERE so watch out.
First off: Genyou no Tani / Valley of Xuanyao / Chinese Aterui (I guess it’s not as much like Aterui as I initially assumed) / AVATAR (the blue people one) (but set in China) / not NOT Pocahantas ~
Call it what you want, I’ll admit right out of the gate that I didn’t follow the entirety of this show. It got a lot better on the second and third try, but the first go was a little rough. 
Official plot summary here. 
Things I LOVED:
This show is beautiful. The set is very Alphonse Mucha aesthetic in style, and it makes me very sad that exactly 0 pictures do it justice. Not only is the set STUNNING, but it’s INNOVATIVE as well, the way they used huge hilly mountainous set pieces to create, well, valleys (haha) and set the scene actually grabbed my attention SEVERAL times. There are also no pictures that do the palace set justice, but the grandeur of it took my breath away, as did the EASE with which the set took us between settings. Unfortunately the visual aesthetic of the show is like not something I’m skilled enough to describe in words, but my point here is that if you get the chance to see this show, it would be worth it for the visual feast alone. 
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This show is beautiful (music edition). BOY! The music is HAUNTING and POWERFUL and simple and complex all at once. I have told several people that if either the opening or finale songs are put on that custom CD maker thing in the theatres I would literally buy a custom CD just to get my hands on these songs like a couple weeks before their official release. I got chills every time Shirotae Natsu opened the show (we could NOT ask for a better new fukukumichou), and without fail, at the (spoilers) mass exodus of the Wen people (hello, Coto Moses?) song. 
The show is beautiful (general stage edition): It’s SO DANCEY. IT IS SO EXPRESSIVE. Even though the vast majority of the cast is costumed… nearly identical to one another, watching a n y one of them is a treat different from any other. There is no shortage of opportunity for these women to emote physically, and not a single one of them holds back. There are also like a billion acrobatic tricks in this show for some reason. They don’t take you out of anything, it’s just all VERY PHYSICAL. The Wen men and women specifically use physicality HARD to express their… history, I guess? There are several scenes with a few singers and a few dancers working together to tell a story. They give me CHILLS. The women (led by Honoka) in the palace also serve to set the aesthetic world and honestly I don’t have anything smart to say about them but they blew me away. Aomi Sario does several cartwheels. Yuunagi Ryou jumps like five feet in the air and does a somersault. I don’t know why any of these women are airborne as much as they are but they sure are good at it. 
Other standout things I loved- there were a LOT more, but I need SOMEONE to talk about these people and moments, and I guess it’s my burden to bear. 
FOR SOME REASON OOKI MAKOTO TALKS LIKE A LOT. She may talk more than Amahana Ema, freshly-transferred Ayaki Hikari, or Kiwami Shin. I can’t stress enough how much there is NO REASON FOR THIS. She ALSO, in a TURN OF FATE, IS NOT PLAYING AN OLD MAN. She’s playing a young soldier (NO FACIAL HAIR!!!!!) who at one point is goofing around under a tree on the edge of a stage and does some incredible pantomime work getting a spider off of her. I’m a little in love with her. I could not be happier that they truly just let her GO OFF this show. If you have ever liked Ooki Makoto, you need to see this show. 
Ooki Makoto is always accompanied by Tenju Mitsuki who, as usual, is doing The Most for the Least Payoff because she like angered a God in her past life but not enough for the God to not give her the most beautiful face known to man. She doesn’t get to do much at all, unfortunately as USUAL, though her character very much has the vibe of her Kamatari character, and she does get to do a really fucking sick trick where she gets hit by an arrow and despite watching her through opera glasses three times in a row I have no idea how she does it. 
SEO YURIA REALLY STEPPED UP HER GAME? This was a good meaty role with a nice little bit of her Red Oni from Another World mixed in for like chaotic measure. She sounds vocally FANTASTIC and looks at times actually TRULY PHYSICALLY IMPOSING. I’ve always been theatrically on the fence about Seo, but it looks like she’s really finding where she fits onstage and her strengths and is working HARD. I’m really into it. 
Arisa Hitomi does beautiful work as the narrator of the whole piece, more or less, I just wish we could have seen more of her. That’s kinda how it’s gonna go from now on huh. Sigh.
Amato Kanon Amato Kanon Amato Kanon Amato Kanon Amato Kanon Amato Kanon . I will live and die in Hoshigumi, but if one day they move her to somewhere else to be top star, (after I mourn for a year and go through the five stages of grief), I will be right there by her side. Her character is spunky and fun and young and then gets tortured and killed (sorry, I said there were spoilers) in a way that I almost couldn’t WATCH. She’s an expert on throwing her (rapidly becoming lifeless) body around onstage in a way that really, really, really broke my heart. I winced. I’m sure I’m not the only one in the audience who would have put myself in her place to save her. 
It’s very cool when they use projections to enhance moments in this- like a sword striking a rock and the sparks that fly, or the mysterious man disappearing. Additionally, the SOUND DESIGN of this show was pretty flawless.
Current Kumichou and Soon-To-Be-Senka member Mari Yuzumi played, obviously, Coto’s mom, and the two of them share some really beautiful moments and part of a song- it was a fitting and sweet part to give her, and I’m so glad she got some real stage time here because lord am I gonna miss her. 
There’s a little drumline throughout some scenes of Wen people featuring (I THINK) Toudou Jun, Asamizu Ryou, Sayaka Rin, Sakuraba Mai, and POSSIBLY Kuresaki Rino. They don’t do anything to serve the plot, they just sometimes act as a transition in and out and winding through group scenes. It kicks ass. 
Though this show was by NO MEANS an “ensemble show” (it was obviously very heavily (and wonderfully!) pulled by Coto, and all the ensemble was…. To be honest, visually mostly indistinguishable from one another), it like… WAS an ensemble show. There are MANY scenes with the HUGE chunks of the troupe, whether it’s the soldiers doing some INCREDIBLE sword and spear work or the dancers as the Wen people telling stories through the sheer power of their NUMBERS, or the women in the palace with their ribbons and dance, the real power of this show is in the ensemble and what they give to the story. Personally, ensemble driven stories tick ALL my boxes, so even if the plot was a little rough for me, the sheer POWER of Hoshigumi really made this a show that I realize now, sitting at my desk in Tokyo, I wish I was seeing again like today. This show did a complete 180 for me, and I can not recommend it enough. It isn’t FUN, but I can’t find the words to express how MOVING and BEAUTIFUL it is. If you can’t see it in person, I guess I recommend buying the blu ray, renting out a movie theatre, and watching it on as big of a screen as you can possibly get.
RAY:
Ray was just OKAY to me, though I admit I DID love it a little more with each consecutive viewing. I wonder how I’ll feel about it at the end of the Tokyo run- it very well might grow on me and stick in my heart as a revue I really love, but for now I’m personally a bit lukewarm on this one. I’m gonna express my three gripes first, and then move on to the things I love. 
1.) God this revue really fucking abuses projections. Not only does it OPEN AND END with an unnecessary mini movie, and not only do they use the projections to transition us literally through the starry galaxy to the PANTHEON which they make with like Windows Screensaver level skill and then for some reason also show us on a real backdrop- if they had the REAL backdrop, why did they need to also show us a CGI version?, but they also straight up show us MOVIES while people are singing. As captivating as I find every single woman in Hoshigumi, I couldn’t tear my eyes away from the acid trip that was the projections. They weren’t STILL EITHER. They were THIS distracting, down to the literal giant eye. I hated them so much. They didn’t make any visual sense, they didn’t enhance a thing, they really weren’t even vaguely thematically appropriate. I hope beyond hope that the venues they use for the tour just don’t have the tech power for this and the projections get cut. I didn’t like a SINGLE one of them. 
2.) I can’t really explain this one but something was… missing. The numbers weren’t…. varied , I guess? They were all the same like. Power level and mostly had the same amount of people onstage (a lot), and while there’s NOTHING I love more than a big group number, this one had… I guess maybe too many? Or maybe it wasn’t the amount that is the issue, maybe it’s just how they weren’t like tonally varied. The numbers were all GOOD, but the flow was weird? I don’t know. Something felt off. If anyone sees this and gets what I mean, please talk to me about it. 
3.) And this one is personal preference, but I thought the whole Ray theme was…. Much too heavy handed for an ohirome GT. To clarify, I think this would have been VERY suitable for a taidan revue, thematically, but I think it’s too early to be playing top star name games and adorning the whole stage with her name… repeatedly. I GET that it’s clever because like, ray of light, starlight, etc, but I didn’t like it. I wouldn’t have liked like, Dramatic ‘S’ as a first revue either, for example. This isn’t personal or about Coto, if they had made Kai top and called her first revue like ‘Seven Seas’ I also would have been like ….#yikes. I just wish they’d save this stuff for later in Coto’s run. 
That said, the good outweighed the bad! Some numbers of note (this is NOT all of them, just the ones that stuck with me) include: 
The opening, which was very fun! The set was cool, multi layered and opening with just Coto inside like a cut out diamond shape on a platform and made good use of a pretty bare stage to really give EVERYONE a moment. There were more featured faces in this number alone that I didn’t even RECOGNIZE than I can count- and that made me really happy to see! Special shoutout to Taiki Hayate and Ruri Hanaka for getting to stand on the edge of the stage and sing. I just think they’re neat. The opening was rock-y and sexy and mature and it was very fun to get to see so many people shine in it. 
This was followed by Seocchi in a number with again, a BEAUTIFUL set. Seriously, when they aren’t abusing the hell out of a projector, this revue IS VISUALLY STUNNING. It’s like set on Jupiter kind of, there’s a swirling galaxy all lit up behind the dancers (Seo, Amato Kanon, Minato Rihi- who has big Renta energy and always makes me happy to look at) Aomi Sario, Ruri Hanaka, notably.) This number has big Look At The Youth Of Tomorrow energy. Seo sounds INCREDIBLE, and everyone who is featured here makes my heart leap. This was definitely one of my favorite numbers. 
There was a tango that would have been 90x sexier if only it didn’t feature those stupid turbans on literally everyone. Mikkii gets to sing her bridge solo (thank God), and the energy is rowdy. Everyone is in white pants.
The chuuzume is nice. It starts what feels like oddly early, but probably isn’t. They abuse the projections during the start of this one, (Hanagata Hikaru) and then thankfully pull the screen up and get rid of them for a while. The chuuzume is neat in that it also features a lot of little groups of siennes, from the young ones (who even get to SING small solos and things) (and I mean SMALL ones)- Amato Kanon has a solo at a point (and is CENTER ON THE BRIDGE for the kyakuseki part of the chuuzume), Aomi Sario and (iirc) Yuuhi Maki get a small duet, little groups are coming on and off constantly. It’s fun. They put the otokoyaku on the bridge and they do some sharp dancing and some kinda… seductive, to me, stuff. Most everyone is in red. The aesthetic of this chuuzume is GOOD.
THIS ROCKETTE MIGHT BE MY FAVORITE ROCKETTE EVER.
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Aesthetically it is flawless, and it’s led by three girls including RURI HANAKA who gets a CENTER OF THE BRIDGE SOLO. These costumes are BEYOND adorable as well! Look at them! This rockette really shows off how skilled some of these girls are. They also do a lineup that goes as usual from shortest to tallest to shortest again, except they break this up by putting the three leads in the MIDDLE, which really means its like, short to tallest to SHORTEST to tallest to short again and believe me when I say it is COMICAL. There’s a solid foot difference between some of these women. 
The Olympics number which immediately follows the rockette is lovely, it features a biiiiiig group of the cast and then Mizuno Yuri, Otosaki Itsuki, Sazanami Reira, Aomi Sario, and Amato Kanon as the colors of the Olympic rings. Musically this one didn’t stick that hard with me, but it’s a visual treat, and everyone’s dance proficiency is on full display. Plus if you look at the back of the stage you’ll see Yuunagi Ryou and Hiroka Yuu doing like a dance battle and pulling and pushing each other around which is extremely relevant to my interests. 
From here it got really lovely for me personally. Amahana Ema and Kiwami Shin led Swingin’ On A Star on the bridge (and both of them sound lovely and sweet), and then theres a couple dance featuring about 10 or so people including  Toudou Jun and again Yuunagi Ryou (this is the only place in the revue I didn’t have trouble spotting her unfortunately, and I’m GOOD at finding her), going on while Maisora finishes up the number. It’s sweet and it’s sugary and it’s a piece of like small lightness after all the very Heavy and Full group numbers before. 
The kuroenbi is pretty good, it felt somehow… unfinished? But immediately after that is Coto jumping into You Are My Sunshine which I personally find to be the most charming thing in the world. It includes solos for Seo, Hanagata Hikaru, Aichan, and a LOT of attention on Hoshigumi’s musumeyaku who get to ALL line up on the bridge together and sing. It’s a treat. It made my heart happy and made me grin really big. 
Other shoutouts go to 
Sazanami Reira and her wild hair flips
Akachan who for some reason sounds vocally like she’s underwater, which was hard for me to place until recently 
Maisora and Coto who really DO work together well as a combi though these two shows didn’t give them much chance to see that (please watch Mozart once it’s out on DVD to see what these two can DO together)
Mari Yuzumi for still killing it with everyone else in every number despite the fact that she’s so up there that they’re moving her to senka after this- boy I am gonna MISS her
Amato Kanon for holding my future in her, soft, capable hands.
Minato Rihi for smiling like Renta
The upperclassmen for not letting being completely sidelined ruin their attitude and for still giving their all to everything and pulling my attention with their YEARS of expertise
Kisa Kaoru, Soua Takeru, Houma Toa, Hiroki Yuzuha, and Kuresaki Rino just because they make me smile.
Sakuraba Mai and Haruto Yuuho who should actually be a top combi together. 
Seo Yuria for really just like stepping it up all around and drawing my attention and taking up SPACE.
Ruri Hanaka because holy shit, girl….
All in all, this was a good pair. Not every revue works for everyone, and maybe this one just didn’t grab my heart the way I wished it did. It was still fun, and it definitely had enough numbers that I loved for me to want to go back multiple times, and whatever Ray lacked, Valley picked up for me. It’s a good set of shows, and everyone does really lovely work. I can’t wait to see where Coto and Maisora’s Hoshigumi goes!
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Sweetener Tour, 19 September 2019, Sheffield
Hi guys! You can guess from the title what this post is about: Ariana Grande’s Sweetener Tour! I went to her concert with a very dear friend, Nabil, and let me tell you that it was amazing.
So, we bought the tickets way back in December 2018, if I’m not mistaken. When I found out that Ariana was coming to the UK, I thought I just had to see her at least once. Me and Nabil looked at her schedule and when I found out she was coming to f-ing Sheffield, I just knew that there is no way I could possibly miss out on it. I mean, Sheffield, of all places!
I got up as early as I could on the day of the ticket sales and within a minute that the tickets were being sold, I couldn’t get any. I kept on refreshing the page until it showed I could get two tickets on the f-ing Gold Circle, which is basically the most expensive ticket category (but not as expensive as VIP-Meet & Greet). After hastily agreeing with Nabil, I clicked on the purchase. Yep, I bought a very, very expensive concert ticket.
Me and Nabil went to the venue as soon as queuing was allowed by the Arena and we spent at least three-and-a-half to four hours in the queue. Was it worth it? It was. We got into the Standing area but I just knew that our Gold Circle tickets should’ve gotten us closer to the stage so I basically ran to the edge of the Standing area, showed our Gold wristbands to the security guards, and got ourselves into the f-ing Gold Circle. I ran and managed to stand on the second-to-front row. Let me tell you this: it felt awesome. Me and Nabil got slightly separated because he went to buy us some water (which each cost f-ing £2.50) and when he returned, two girls and a mother already stood behind me. But it’s okay. He was still very close to me and we managed to chat a bit during the concert. Also, so many young girls (preteens and even a child barely five years old) going there with their mummies and daddies. Wow.
Social House and Ella Mai opened the concert. I honestly loved Social House! I’d never heard their music apart from their collaboration with Ariana on Boyfriend but they had such positive, great energy and were very engaging with the audience. I might’ve not known any of their songs but when they left the stage, I knew that they made me want to listen to their EP. Ella Mai had a very beautiful voice but, sadly, I felt she wasn’t very engaging. The stage was rather circular/oval-shaped, with the central void being filled with VIP audience and the outer parts of the circle surrounded by Gold Circle (yes, I’m terrible at describing visual stuff in English). However, Ella stayed only on the main stage with the musicians and did not go around on the circular part, which made things less engaging (at least in my opinion).
Warning: The part about Ariana is very much all over the place.
Now. Now. Ariana. The songstress herself. Good God. She opened with the intro raindrops (an angel cried), and the crowds just went mad, including yours truly. We basically screamed and sang along and I saw that the stage was still empty but the visuals were starting. Oh. The visuals were very much all about the sun and stars and moon. When she started raindrops, it looked as though there was an eclipse or something.
And then, she rose up from the ground with her dancers in a very, very familiar setting: God is a woman as seen on the MTV VMAs 2018. Spread across a dining table, as though it was a reinterpretation of The Last Supper. And she sang. She had a very beautiful, very clear voice. I noticed, however, that the mic might not have been super clear because whenever she said anything that wasn’t her song lyrics (like when she greeted the audience or said something about the song no tears left to cry several songs after God is a woman), I couldn’t really hear what she said. Either that or she wasn’t very good in her pronunciation (this is actually one of the quite valid critiques of her vocal/singing. Yes, I love and adore Ariana but I also agree that sometimes she doesn’t enunciate well).
Anyway. I had a very, very magical 90 minutes listening and watching Ariana’s performance. She was generally energetic, fun, and engaging. She was appreciative of her band and her backup dancers, whom I think she genuinely sees as her friends. Ariana’s vocals, though, are the star of the show. Of course, what else do you expect from her? Every time she hit a high note it made me feel like I was being choked because how did she do it???? And she killed it. I’m pretty sure at some point I heard a whistle note from her, though it wasn’t as flexible as Mariah Carey’s had been in her prime. This isn’t a bad thing, though. It’s great that Ariana can do whistle notes, doesn’t mean she has to do it in the most vocally-acrobatic style because God knows stretching it too far can affect your other vocal abilities.
I loved every part of it, of course, but I really loved her performance of NASA. I guess that’s because it’s my favourite song off thank u, next. To be honest, lots of the songs were kind of a blur to me but in a good way: I couldn’t remember exactly how she did it because I was just so happy with singing and screaming at the top of my lungs. I hope that’s a good sign, though. Anyway. NASA was such a great performance and I honestly remember not being able to properly record a video of it because my phone’s camera is absolute crap and Ariana’s position onstage wasn’t strategic to mine. Still, I was like, f it I’ll sing my lungs out because that is what I want to do. I screamed so loud when she sang: “I’mma need space, I’mma need space”.
And also needy. I loved, loved, loved that song. needy is such a mood and I know it was a song of vulnerability but damn, I sang and screamed. It felt like pouring my heart out. I guess that’s exactly why thank u, next is my favourite Ariana album: it speaks to me. And when she sang, I know that she was singing what my heart felt, too. And it’s an amazing feeling.
Of course, no Ariana show would be complete without some sexy choreography, like in Side to Side and Into You. I sang and screamed but... mostly it was a blur. Again. I feel like because those songs are, so sorry to say this, generic provocative songs, it did not make me feel super connected or anything. It was fun to sing them and dance to them but wasn’t the most wow this is amazing OMG feeling. I did, however, enjoy break up with your girlfriend, i’m bored. Her vocals in that are amazing, oddly enough for that kind of song.
I also fell so much in love with R.E.M. I later found out it was at first a Beyonce song but Ariana made it a very, very lovely song. It’s actually very much like a lullaby and it’s such a sweet, sweet love song that sways your heart.
This has gone way, way too long (just like the intro of in my head, which wasn’t sung at the concert but used during an interval). Now. The grande finale: thank u, next. I recorded the whole performance and it actually made me feel rather emotional. I can’t possibly imagine singing the names of my exes every night for a year of touring, one of whom died of drug overdose and the other you thought you were going to marry. But Ariana sang it well. And again, I felt very connected to how she sang it. It’s not about whether you have as many exes as she does or anything: it’s about connecting on the understanding that you could take a lesson from the people in your past. And she closed the show with dances of love and pride.
So. I loved every second of it. It was worth every penny that I spent on it (though I would’ve loved if she’d sung for an extra 30 minutes lolz). It’s definitely something that I’ll remember for as long as I live, and I’m just ever so grateful that of all the places, I chose Sheffield and so did she, both in 2018. She delivered a beautiful, fun, entertaining performance and it was such an amazing way to close my postgraduate studies (sort of). It’s incredibly strong of her to embrace her vulnerability and create something that connects with others.
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dai5y110 · 5 years
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Who Owned Each Era? Girl’s Day: Oh! My God!
For some reason, Girl’s Day didn’t have a follow up after the moderate success of Twinkle Twinkle and Hug Me Once. Honestly, I think a winter comeback would have kept them in people’s minds and worked in their favor, BUT I’m glad they got some rest because they were performing SO MUCH during this time. Oh! My God! literally picks up where Twinkle Twinkle left off, Minah’s even in her Twinkle Twinkle uniform and the same guy is there. BUT this time around, Minah has no time for his wishy washy self and literally shoves him by his face out of her way, before she changes clothes into a tough dancer chick outfit, and sets out onto the dance floor. The MV’s storyline is odd; Minah’s enemies with the other members? She wins over Yura? Then has a dance off with Jihae and wins her over as well? Hyeri does some acrobatics and knocks herself out, and then runs to Mama Sojin (who is a dj here) for help taking down the trio. Minah (or rather, the break dancer dressed as Minah) does some impressive spins, which makes Sojin so dizzy, I guess, she lost? I don’t know. And they all have “street names” that are so fucking cringey I don’t even want to think about them.
All right, they’re Sojin as “Queen of Dirty Dance,” Yura as “Funky Disco Bomb,” Hyeri as “Martial H.Lee,” Minah as “Crazy Leg,” and the best (worst?) of all, Jihae as “Krumping Ghost.” I. AM. YELLING.
This is the era that I was made aware of Girl’s Day and immediately, they became my favorite girl group, and my biases over all (SHINee is second, but they’re my favorite boy group). The public hated this song, I don’t know why. Maybe it’s the odd outfits, maybe it’s the confusing ass video, maybe it’s the autotune that they DIDN’T NEED. “Oh! My God!” is still one of my favorite Girl’s Day songs. The live outfits? THE LIVE FUCKING OUTFITS GUYS. They looked like rubber, the oversize costume jewelry dwarfed them, the beads looked tacky, the shoes were downright dangerous. It was a whole deal. At least they retconned it halfway through and sent them out in sports attire that looked hella comfy and fit them well.
Jihae captured my attention first, with her beauty, and the fact that she gets the prettiest outfits of the whole era. But, Minah really shines here, with her vocals being god-like, and once again, her comedy skills are on full display. She owned the dance break, despite really struggling with dancing when she debuted, and still not being the dancer of the group. Her dark reddish hair and bangs looked really good on her. Sojin was also high up there to get this one as well, her (and only hers) outfits really suited her, and her aegyo faces were so bias wrecking, it was a struggle to remain neutral and love all the members equally. Hyeri is given a shapeless coat to wear time and time again this era and it doesn’t suit her. Neither did the fact that they pinned all her hair up and out of sight. Her long hair is beautiful and they hid it for some reason. Yura was fucking ROBBED this era; her hair is revolting, and her outfits screamed “my company thinks I have a weight problem, when I don’t”. I honestly thought the stylists had an actual vendetta against her at one point. There was no way anyone who cared about Yura would send her out in such horrible fitting and looking clothing. Also, the skirts were INCREDIBLY short this era, which was unneeded.
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underimagines · 6 years
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seeing stars
Summary: “Sometimes it’s hard to keep up when your boyfriend is a Superstar. But it doesn’t hurt to have a few tricks up your own sleeve, either.”
2k Commission - Underswap!Napstablook/Napstaton X OC/Reader, for @bigfanofpuns
read it on ao3 / buy me a coffee
                                                          ❤ ❤ ❤
He was spinning circles around you.
You watched his legs switch out, almost comically, from wheel to skates, then back. It kept him on a steady path, swirling perfect figure eights, while you just spun in place, dizzy and unamused. The crowd around you cheered and whooped at his stunts, while you seethed in place, fuming jealously.
“Oh, come on!” You shouted, watching him pull some ridiculous cross between a pirouette and a dab as he passed by you again. “You know I wasn’t made for the ice, Nappy!”
“How else ya’ gonna learn if you don’t try, sugar-wings?” He trilled back, merely giving you a couple of finger-guns in response. “C’mon, babe, feel the heat! Stretch those wings and feel the beat!”
Sometimes your boyfriend could be a real ass, but the fact that he was still encouraging you, even now, showed that he at least wanted you to try. Even if you’d been trying now. For about thirty minutes.
“Bat Monsters weren’t made—!” You started again, but he only lifted a gloved hand in a yapping motion, mocking your complaints.
“For the ice!” He squeaked in a terrible impression of your own voice. “Yeah, I know!! But, like, what’s cooler than being cool, honey buns? Ice cold, duh!! And what’s cooler than ice? Ice-skating?? And what’s cooler than ice-skating???”
He was behind you before you knew it, grasping the claw at the end of your wing to throw you into another spin. You kept spinning even when he let you go, only able to keep your balance by using said wings as leverage. “Skating with your totally awesome, famous rockin’ DJ boyfriend!!!”
You could think of many things. Practicing your aerial acrobatics for one. Those were much simpler—being a Bat Monster, with the wings and all. Spending time with Nappy in his camper, listening to Aaron and Happstablook practicing their vocals. Anything without this crowd—which felt very out of character for you to think, for even a moment, because you loved crowds.
And you loved being loved by crowds. But for now? You were humiliated.
Skating was hard, and without the sort of “upgrades” Nappy was endowed with, you were left to stumble and flail gracelessly around the ring, clinging to your boyfriend’s extendable arms when he got within reach of your wingspan. He seemed to take amusement in your failings, though, spinning and dipping you like you were a puppet on a string, and him the puppeteer. You knew there was no malice in his actions, just support and a need to entertain, but it didn’t make you feel much better.
After all, you wanted to entertain, too! You loved the attention, doing tricks and stunts to make the audience “Ooh!” and “Aah!” at your prowess. It was hard, and kind of hurt sometimes, feeling like you were second-hand to your superstar of a boyfriend, though.
More than anything, though, you wanted to show him up. Give him a little taste of his own medicine, so to say. And you knew just how to do it.
He seemed surprised when you suddenly released him, throwing yourself across the ice in one of the most graceful (and slightly terrifying) maneuvers you’d ever chanced. A single claw pressed to the ice, keeping your arc, the other at an angle to create the illusion of balance. But the real kicker? You pulled in your knee, forcing a twirl, then froze in place, using the span of your wings as leverage to keep yourself in place. The crowd around you gasped in amazement. You saw Napstaton slowing behind you, his screen flashing various colors in what you could only know as “Challenge Mode.”
So be it, then.
In a way, you were both cheating. Him, using his retractable limbs to maneuver his body in ways you’d never expect a robot to be capable of. You, hooking your claws into the ice, sparking frost where you landed, spinning and jumping and leaping. All with the help of your wings to keep a hover that only true professionals would be able to pull-off otherwise.
Playfully, he dipped under you, spinning his robotic legs just beneath your body as you moved into another jump. It almost looked like a dance routine. Felt like one, too. Your wings flapped to keep you afloat as he bounced back up, and before you could see what was happening, he had an arm dragging you against him. It caught you off-guard for a moment and you stumbled, but then he lifted you, spun around, and threw you out with one arm into a twirl.
The crowd around you was steadily growing, and you couldn’t help but laugh, flashing him a gaze of amusement and daring. His screen flashed a little, then reflected a quick heart in your direction, before you were once again tugged to his side. This time you held on, kicking one leg up for dramatic effect.
“Ladies, gents, and gentle-brosephs!” Nappy called out, a microphone in his free hand as he wrapped the other arm around you several more times. Even with how cold it was outside; his metallic body was still warm. Like an engine running on high. And with the way his internal fans were blasting, you knew you’d hit the nail on the head. “Welcome to today’s public pas-de-deux, my dudes! Featuring your local Monster Superstar and his totally rad gal, the Stupendous Zhara!”
A loud round of applause and whistling came from all around you, and beneath your fur you could feel the heat of a blush building up. Then came the camera flashes, a few people moving around like they were recording, and you started to shiver in excitement. Oh man, you’d forgotten how nervous the crowds could make you, despite how much you loved them. But still, you clung to your boyfriend, forcing a bright smile for the audience as they snapped pictures and cheered for an encore.
Your balance and peace of mind lasted for only a moment, however, before you felt the arm around your waist tighten, coil, and fling you upwards. With a squeak of fright and confusion, you let your wings spread, catching yourself momentarily to float downwards into what looked like a sudden explosion of glittery smoke and laser lights. Ohmygod, was he doing that? Here??
Apparently so, because the glimmer of his shades could be seen twinkling even through the smoke. All around you the crowd let out squeals of excitement. The presence of “the great and incredible” Napstaton EX always seemed to have that effect on people, no matter how many times they’d seen him on tv or not. Your ears twitched as your boyfriend’s voice boomed across the rink, several tones deeper than it’d previously been, and much louder.
“YO, WELCOME TO THE SHOW, BABES!!”
His hand snapped up out of the smoke, and you took it, letting him twirl you around so that you were both posing. “LET’S TURN UP THE HEAT, SHALL WE?”
Oh my god, this was so exciting!
Your first live performance! And not just the silly joking around you’d been doing before, now people had their phones out. Snapping pictures, recording you, jumping around and screaming in a way that gave you a flash of how Nappy must have felt on stage. You were so nervous, but at the same time, filled with a sense of determination. Nothing could bring you down right now, not even your inability to keep a steady foot on the ice. Because you had your wings to help you, and now that you’d gotten used to it, you were sure that…this? This was going to be your chance to prove yourself. To really show them all what you were made of.
He gave you a mischievous grin—one that you returned in earnest. And that’s when the show truly began.
You weren’t sure where the music was coming from, but a good guess was telling you it was from the speaker’s lodged in your boyfriend’s chassis. The moment he released your claws, you let it fly. Literally.
It was freezing out, but the heat burning in your chest was a wildfire, spreading from the soles of your feet to the tips of your wings. Heat, passion, exhilaration. You loved it all, and the steady thump of your SOUL was quickening to a pace that made you feel like if you turned at the wrong moment, you’d dust right then and there. But you knew that it wouldn’t actually happen. It was more of a “you were just so thrilled that you felt like you were going to burst into a million pieces” type of dusting than a “someone had just actually murdered you” kind of dusting.
So you dipped low, crossing your feet at an angle that made your wings umbrella the rest of your body. You could see Nappy gyrating behind you, twisting his arms into ridiculous shapes that made the crowd roar with laughter and applause. Then he stopped, just as the music dipped into a low crescendo. You kept spinning, faster and faster. The crowd cheered louder in anticipation, taking up a steady chant of “Yo! Yo! Yo! Yo!” (One of Napstaton’s catchphrases, and a definite regular you heard being yelled out all throughout his performances.)
With a shove, you pushed yourself airborne, spreading your wings as wide as they could go. The weight on your back as you let them fold inwards sent you plummeting. It was terrifying at first, but just as the beat dropped, you landed straight in Napstaton’s waiting arms. One of his legs kicked out on the ice, the other bent so low beneath him that you could see the reverberations of the music making the rink pulse.
The crowd exploded to life, bursting into applause so loud that your ears popped.
You heard a couple of people scream out for Napstaton’s attention, but then again, you also heard people calling for you. For you. Asking for tricks, poses, autographs, and pelting you with so many questions that your head felt like it was spinning. The high from your show still had your SOUL pulsing a mile a minute, and all you could manage in response was a flustered cacophony of giggling and gasping. What a wonderful experience—now if only you could calm your nerves enough to give the crowd the encore they were asking for.
Trying to steady your breathing as best you could, you tucked your wings in, clutching your chest and attempting to spit out something other than the high-pitched chitters spewing from your muzzle. Your wings ached from the cold, and suddenly it was like all the energy had been drained from your body. Despite all your practicing, it seemed you still had some ways to go before you could be a real live-performer (at least, on a regular basis), like Nappy was. He posed dramatically as he pulled you against him, while the cameras flashed so brightly that you could hardly see. You stumbled, exhausted, and collapsed against him.
“Don’t you worry, sugar-wings, I gotcha.” He whispered against your ear. “How was that—hype enough for ya, or are ya up to an encore?”
Your legs were trembling, and you felt like you were going to pass out, but you nodded anyway. “Gotta give the crowd what they want!”
He stared into your eyes for a long, lingering moment, then chuckled. “Alright, darlin’, let’s give ‘em all a good, rad conclusion to this little show, eh?”
Your legs flailed when he suddenly dipped you, so low that the tips of your ears brushed against the ice. Then, without warning, he kissed you.
It was deep, passionate…and obviously a show for the crowd. You heard a lot of feminine screaming and cooing. You rolled your eyes, but when he pulled back, you couldn’t help but melt under the dopy grin plastered across his face, your SOUL pulsing with warmth.
“Now how’s that for seeing stars?”
                                                         ❤ ❤ ❤
Thank you so much for the commission, darling! I hope you enjoy it !! ❤
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p101recaps · 7 years
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Broduce 101: Episode 8 (Quick Livestream Recap)
This post contains spoilers.
Alright, I missed a bit of the first half which must have been fanservice, because I was tossed into eliminations straight up.
I recapped the first half here!
It was pretty awful, with the boys talking about their dreams and hopes with the elimination sword swinging above their heads. They keep talking about Jihoon and his number one rank. It was not entertaining.
What was entertaining, however, was the little segment they prepared with Hwiseung and to do that punching strength machine thing.
Kim Dongbin started it off and did surprisingly well. 
Minki expanded his shoulders to go try knock him off the #1 chair. He’s really so good at variety, strutting and playing himself up, but his score wasn’t even near enough to beat Dongbin’s surprising 917.
Sunghyuk, the muscled dark horse topped it easily.
Of course Ong-ssi had to come be casually confident. He snorted derisively at the score, and went to the back of the hall to charge up his power run before punching the machine and....did not reach the 900s. He said sheepishly said he’ll try to be humble.
BNM are embarrassed of their Donghyun hyung and his gags, but the guy outpunched Sunghyuk easy.
A lot of the other trainees tried and got close, until Manly Man Real Oppa Sexy Bandit was hyped and brought on. He gets nervous about the burden before punching the machine hard.
Samuel: OH. MY GOD.
He tied with Donghyun. They both face off, Donhyun got 949 and Sexy Bandit punched to a cool 950. He did a shy little Nayana victory chant.
GET THE HYPE GIGGLY SEXY BANDIT
Thank god BoA is back. She’s perfunctory but not annoying. She’s also really bad at acting to build anticipation so it’s endearing.
Mnet doesn’t clean their audio very well. I keep hearing background audio from floor mics when they walk to their seats.
Yehyun got in in the early 30s (!!!!)
Kwon Hyunbin is in. He said some stuff about working hard (cut to shots of Jonghyun and Auntie Jisung), looking a lot like the Monsta X rapper with pink hair. BoA asked if he’s been working hard and the trainees said yes, because they’re polite kids. 
I’m not sure if they’re trying to Brohye him, but he does have his own section of fans. I believe there were rumours some fans are buying spots for him from voters, but its uncertain how far his looks will carry him even with the helpful edits and apologies. 
Jang Moonbok dropped to a petty 32. He looked beautiful though, they’ve started to style his hair instead of lazily flat ironing it. He had a half ponytail and large gold rimmed glasses. So pretty. His thank you speech was humble, he said he’ll work slow and steady like a tortoise to earn his spot. He’s actually good with his words, his raps mimic his speaking style a lot.
Kenta made it at 31! It’s a risk spot, but lowkey incredible how little screentime he gets. 
RBW Lee Gunhee who was the Amazing Kiss main vocal, BoA points out, and he had the 110,00 vote benefit. His label mate, Hwanwoong, did not :|
Brand New Music Donhyun made it at 29! I was  worried about him too! 
BNW Park Woojin, who’s been getting really popular lately, was 14. He didn’t see Youngmin trying to congratulate him and ran up as though he was ignoring him and then had to run back to hug his hyung properly lol 
God that awful music library with the mournful instrumentals.
Park Woodam made it at 28. He hugged his fellow HF trainee, Woo Jinyoung, whose face started settling into resignation as the numbers went up.
Noona killer Hunus Kim Sanggyun made it!!!! 
Baby maknae Lee Woojin was safe too.
FNC Yoo Hwiseung was not, as handsome as he looked that day. It was awful because he kept smiling and playing around with the camera when it swung past him. I’m really going to miss him, he reminds me of Nam Woohyun so much at some angles too. When will Infinite comeback.
Ardor and Able Ha Sungwoon made it too, thank fucking god. He’s blond now. 
I’m not as excited about that. Please don’t keep the frizzy bleach.
WH Creative Seo Sunghyuk, my unintentional meme boy, has been gaining traction and was safe. He cried a little at his rapid, unexpected rise through the ranks. Even the trainees were a bit surprised at his rank.
Yuehua Lee Euiwoong made it in the early 20s. Ahn Hyunbseob was in at 20, he thanked Woojin and gave him a heart, while also thanking the voters. 
The Chinese Yuehua boys, Jung Jung and Justin, were eliminated. It’s a shame, they were definitely idol material. I’m keen to see what Yuehua has planned with the boys, hopefully after a few more vocal classes.
The Vibe Label Kim Tadeong, the vampire flower boy from SoY was in, along with his teammate Noh Taehyun, who was a rank above at 21.
Pledis Minki made it at 20
Brave Samuel’s dropped to 16 though they mentioned he had one of the highest views on his fancam (Auntie Jisung gave him that reassuring thumbs up). Samuel, thankfully, has gone back to chocolate brown hair.
Chun Arctic Fox Kim Yongguk was safe, so was Bae Jinyoung.
Starship Jung Sewoon dropped to 17, and clarified that he was not scared of Dongho (’Yes, well done!’ piped in Baekho, as he spoke) but Gwanghyun didn’t make it, my poor baby :(
MMO Yoon Jisung made it at 15 and all the trainees hugged him and called him an ajhumeoni lol. His weird clapping thing has become a gag for real.
I love you, Auntie Jisung, the only ray of sunshine in this mess.
Cube Yoo Seonho was 13. Baby Chick knew he was going to be safe, making BoA laugh. He chestbumped his hyungs on stage and called Guanlin a superstar, saying he knew the lower ranked Cube trainee was going to be him lol
Pledis’ “Power Sexy” Baekho was 11. He smiled like a big baby, even though everyone thinks he’s sexy and rough. BoA made him do aegyo and I, his noona, approve. 
He sat down on his 11 chair and said, very cutely, ‘Wow, it’s so high.’
Cre.Ker Joo Haknyeon was 10.
Jaehwan was 9, he got embarrassed seeing his face on the big screen and said he’ll work hard to become a worthy vocal. BoA asked him to sing Sorry, Sorry to fill broadcast time.
MMO Kang Daniel dropped to 8. His wrist seems to be injured. Since he thanked his noonas in Busan satoori last time, he thanked his dongsaengs in Seoul accent this time lol
Ong Sungwoo was in at 7, and apparently he has predominately male fans (Yoo Seonho: I’m a fan too). He did an extra little thank you and reenacted his high note gag from the Get Ugly performance
Pledis Minhyun was 6. Everyone was shook by how handsome he is on that big screen. He picked Jaehwan as someone he wants to debut with.
BNM Im Youngmin was at 5 - he was trending the last few weeks but it’s been found out that he had a girlfriend this week, so it’s safe to assume he’s going to drop rapidly now. 
He did his alpaca dance to celebrate his entrance to top 11. Cute.
BNM Lee Daehwi was 4, which is a relief. After being cyber bullied, he’s being very careful with his words, not revealing his ambition for being number 1. He thanked his mum in America and bounced to his seat, clearly relieved.
Lai Guanlin got ready to stand up as she spoke about handsomeness lol but Park Jihoon was number 3. He thanked his fans and said he loved his mum. We got an unnecessary peek into his journey like he’s being eliminated or something. He only dropped 2 ranks, geez. 
Taiwanese baby chick Lai Guanlin shot all the way up to 2. He feels the burden of being a six month trainee, which means he’s self aware if nothing else because this is a disproportionate and totally unwarranted rise. They can’t actually debut this kid yet along the likes of Jaehwan, Daehwi and Ong-ssi, as much as I like him and think he has potential.
Hilariously though, he asked his CEO to buy them delicious food.
Nation’s Leader Angel GodJonghyun maintains his number 1. Good on you, Wartortle!! 
He did his pose as a victory ceremony and apologised to Jihoon. Aw, he’s scared as much as he’s happy, he said.
OUI Kim Donghan was saved by the skin of his teeth at 35. The anticipation to have to wait till the end and the guilt made him cry (Kenta teared up instantly of course).
HIM Park Sungwoo, aka Tip Toe Oppa, was eliminated. He’s handsome but there wasn’t much to back up his hype, I guess.
Wings’ Kim Youngjin and Kiwi Media Kim Dongbin, who survived the last elims on the back of pity votes, were cut. Dongbin dropped to last after that embarrassing rap position battle mission, while Youngjin, who I think showed actual improvement, was eliminated while he was ahead.
Hong Eunki, Lee Insoo, Sangbin, S.How Namhyun, Yoon Heeseok were eliminated. 
So were Kiwon, The Vibe Jaechan and my man K-Tigers’ Byun Hyunmin. 
There shall be no more acrobatics.
MMO Joo Jinwoo was eliminated too. I mean, I’m thankful he made it as far as he did, but he was so handsome and such a good singer. I hope he gets to debut when MMO prepares their group :(
My poor boy Kim Seonglee too. His voice really was one of my favourites. It had real resonance, and he sounded so well trained, fully in control of his lovely tone. I truly believe he’s too good for this show. I mean, it didn’t even get him any screen time or hype of any sort.
I wonder how FNC will ruin Yoo Hwiseung’s potential idol career for me. He was another person I think could have made it to top 22 at least with more screentime.
Dongsu made everyone cry as he was eliminated at 36. The S.How boys have had a hard time in this industry.
All the tears. Far out.
Woo Jinyoung, he really deserved better, that boy was such a good rapper. Woodam sobbed as they hugged. I almost cried too, but my tears were of sheer bitterness and resentment.
Nation’s Leader GodJonghyun led the bowing to the national producers, with next week (re)splitting the trainees for concept evals. 
It’s going to be interesting to see the rankings shift from now. There’s talk of a 2-trainee per voter shift for the system. It’ll throw off the rankings considerably, going off how turbulent this season’s been.
Below’s a comprehensive top 11 from this week’s ranking.
Kim Jonghyun 
Lai Guanlin 
Park Jihoon 
Lee Daehwi 
Im Youngmin 
Hwang Minhyun
Ong Sungwoo 
Kang Daniel 
Kim Jaehwan 
Joo Haknyeon 
Kang Dongho  
As always, please let me know if you spot any errors or have any questions!
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americanahighways · 5 years
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photos by Jimmy Faber
One of the downsides of being a music reviewer is that after attending two or three concerts a week for months on end, you can get a bit jaded about each new show. It’s not that the performances become less enjoyable, it’s just that after seeing so many shows — almost all of them with the same classic, static format of the performers standing on stage while the audience sits and applauds politely at a distance — you lose the ability to recall the raw excitement of your first concert, when it was all so new, transcendent and mind-blowing.
I attended my first concert with my family as a 12-year-old, at the Arizona State Fair in the early 1970s. I saw José Feliciano play “Come On Baby Light My Fire” and a bunch of other covers at the cavernous, acoustically dreadful Phoenix Memorial Coliseum. Though it wasn’t a particularly groundbreaking show (to say the least), it opened up a whole new world for me — live music! — that I’ve continued to relish to this day.
But like I said, it’s rare these days that a show engenders the sheer excitement and “wow” factor of that initial encounter with the concert world so long ago.
I didn’t go into the Squirrel Nut Zippers’ show at the Ardmore music Hall on Thursday, April 25, expecting a transformative experience — much less anything even close to that first dazzling taste of live music. If anything, I expected the Zippers to provide a mildly enjoyable evening of retro, swinging, New Orleans- inflected dance music along the lines of what I’d experienced (and loved) when I first heard their albums Hot and Perennial Favorites in the late ‘90s.
Suffice to say, Jimbo Mathis and company quickly and completely restored that early thrill of hearing live music played by virtuoso musicians. Even better: they tore down that invisible wall between the musicians and audience that is such a staple of the old, static concert set-up, literally getting everyone involved in the performance. (Translation: No wallflowers allowed!)
What made this show so vivid and delightful? One thing that jumped out to everyone I spoke with after the show — professional musicians and casual fans alike — was the incredible level of showmanship Mathus and company provided. From the moment their N’awlins style drum line snaked its way on stage, with Jimbo shouting out the spoken lyrics to “Conglomeration of Curios” via a megaphone like a giddy carnival barker / snakeoil salesman, to their equally energetic exit 18 songs and one hotter-than-hell encore later, the Zippers thrilled the packed Ardmore Music Hall with a nonstop series of costume changes, Mardi Gras-inspired stage props, bad jokes, and impossibly demanding dance moves. The latter included (incredibly) Tamara Nicolai’s swinging her upright bass above her head in time to the beat and “Dr. Sick” doing some acrobatic high-stepping while coaxing boiling-hot jazz riffs from his fiddle.
It was also impossible not to by awed by the virtuosic level of playing and singing the Zippers delivered. Whether it was vocalist Cella Blue extending her expressive, at times Bettie Boop-like swoops and hollers to their near-breaking points, or Jimbo Mathus laying down nimble ragtime jazz-meets-Delta-blues banjo and guitar solos, the uber-talented horn section of Dave Boswell (trumpet), Steve Suter (trombone) and Henry Westmoreland (sax) topping and re-topping themselves with their endlessly creative horn solos, or the tight rhythm section of Nicolai on bass and Neilson Bernard III effortlessly switching between Big Band, New Orleans jazz, and Latin/Carribean rhythms — or, to top it all off, Dr. Sick launching his fiddle and saw (!!!) solos toward the stratosphere — the extravagantly bravura playing was constant and breathtaking.
My favorite moments (and there were many) included:
• Mathus in his sparkling red suit coat, purplish pants and U.S. flag-embossed socks laying down some swinging banjo chords during “Got My Own Thing Now”;
• Leslie Martin’s fabulous piano solo, followed by Boswell’s equally amazing trumpet solo, during “Evening at Lafitte’s”;
• Dr. Sick’s crazy song introductions — “And now I will give you AUDIO PINK EYE!” — and bad doctor jokes, interspersed with his mind-bending fiddle solos;
• Saxophonist Henry Westmoreland’s polished vocal contributions on several numbers;
• Mathus’ comedic schtick, in the midst of “Suits Are Picking Up the Bill,” during which he laid down on the floor with his head against a monitor, only to suddenly leap up — as though shocked back to life by an electric current — and hop onto the side of Nicolai’s bopping bass, riding it in standing side- saddle style;
• Cella Blue’s roof-raising vocals during “Use What Mama Gave You,” as well as her beautifully melancholic performance during “Fade,” alternated with lovely trumpet and trombone solos by Suter and Boswell;
• The outrageous costumes and props, including Mathus’ twisted voodoo cane and outsized papier maché skull head, and Ms. Blue’s multiple garment changes, including (during the lead-in to “Hell”) her transformation from a southern belle into a punk-goth farm girl, complete with large black commando boots and a colorful, flower-printed summer dress;
• and finally, the unexpected visual delight provided by the black and white, Betty Boop-style animated cartoon projected above the stage during the band’s big finale performance of “Ghost of Stephen Foster.”
Of course the audience ate up the Zippers’ renditions of their early big hits, which included the five tunes referenced above, along with “Put A Lid On It” and “Bad Businessman” from Hot. But to my taste, the newer songs held a special intrigue and, being delivered with such gusto, provided double the pleasure via their seemingly endless layers of surprise.
The changes in the Zippers’ overall sound are subtle, but to my ears the new album, Beasts of Burgundy (with the stress falling on the second syllable of that last word, a la the locals’ pronuciation of the street name in New Orleans) embraces a darker, Dr. John-informed, gris-gri meets voodoo vibe. Which is not to say the songs are any less fun, just that Mathus and Co.’s lyrical concerns have gotten richer, deeper and (in a way) more universal by steeping themselves even further in the New Orleans gumbo.
To provide a visual metaphor: the new stuff feels more like an intimate street- carnival on a poorly lit and slightly ominous backstreet, and less like a well- mannered (though high-spirited), big band dancehall performance. While the new tunes are for the most part just as lively and danceable as the older ones, they have a creepier edge to them along with a correspondingly deeper resonance, I find.
Good examples of this new flavoring can be found in such tunes as “Karnival Joe (From Kokomo)” — which the Zippers opened the show with — the saucy “Rusty Trombone,” the suitably exotic “West of Zanzibar,” the title track, and their closing drumline exit tune “Hey Shango.”
I also enjoyed Jimbo’s performance of “You Are Like A Song” from his recent solo album Incinerator, which added a bit of a mournful country twang to the already tasty musical stew.
Ultimately, it didn’t matter whether your entry point was the “old,” classic Zippers tunes or the newer stuff. It’s all part of the big, delicious, delightful, and dramatically-presented smorgasbord that is the SNZs. Thank the gods for the new/continuing life this twice-reassembled ensemble is currently enjoying: I for one can’t wait to hear how they further develop their tasty musical melange.
The local opening band, Mighty Joe Castro and the Gravamen, was good fun too, though theirs was a more traditional rockabilly / early 50s pop-rock approach. Propelled by frontman Castro’s animated gestures — which included jumps, head-jerks, hand-claps and broad swings of his arms — they did a fine job of energizing the crowd and coaxing the dancers out into the light of the stagefront. It was no big task from there for the Zippers to get the crowd bopping, giggling and clapping along for the duration. Those dancers who managed to keep it up to the show’s end — like the tireless woman in the balcony area who I overheard proclaiming to her friends afterwards, “I’m still bouncing with excitement!” — must’ve gotten one hell of a workout.
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Squirrel Nut Zippers tour dates, videos, recordings and merchandise can be found at: http://www.snzipers.com
Americana Highways editor Melissa Clarke’s recent interview with Jimbo Mathus can be found at: Interview: Jimbo Mathus on How Life is an Incinerator;
Americana Highways’ review of Jimbo Mathus’ Incinerator can be found at: REVIEW: Jimbo Mathus Explores the Roots of Country on Incinerator; and the Squirrel Nut Zippers album, here: REVIEW: Squirrel Nut Zippers’ “Beasts of Burgundy” is Melting Pot of Frolicking Influences
More info on Joe Castro and the Gravamen can be found at: https://thegravamen.mightyjoecastro.com
Show Review: The Revivified Squirrel Nut Zippers Deliver One for the Ages at The Ardmore Music Hall @snzippers @conqueroo1 @jimbomathus @ardmoremusicPA @fiddlekiller #americanamusic #SquirrelNutZippers photos by Jimmy Faber One of the downsides of being a music reviewer is that after attending two or three concerts a week for months on end, you can get a bit jaded about each new show.
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hutcho33-blog · 6 years
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The Ten Greatest Kanye West Songs Of All Time
Today is Kanye West’s 40th birthday and rather than get Kanye a cake or a pair of extremely expensive sneakers, we here at Boss Hunting decided to celebrate Kanye in the only way we know how, by assessing the greatness of his music.
Don’t expect any mention of that weird Nike diss track or whatever “I am a God” was. No we’re gonna be focusing on the greatness of Kanye. Of course this is only one list and we can’t possibly do every great track justice, but here’s what we ended up with.
Honourable Mentions: Famous, Waves, Lost in the World, Stronger, FourFive Seconds, N***as in Paris, Heartless, I Love Kanye.
Lost in the World, FourFive Seconds and N***as in Paris all get disqualified from the list on the basis that they can’t be entirely classified as ‘Kanye’ songs. Although his collab with Jay-Z is still very much in his style, all of the songs in the top ten come from places that are very recognisably Kanye. Famous gets a mention not only for being a good track, but also for the impact it made on the pop-culture world.
Waves is also an underrated banger, although some of us would’ve liked the final version to sound like how it was initially pitched by Chance the Rapper. Heartless and Stronger also get a mention due to it’s noritory amongst more casual fans of Kanye. I Love Kanye is the best skit on any of his albums and is on here for one reason. It’s funny. It’s quirky. It’s so Kanye.
This section alone could warrant it’s own tribute, with Kanye producing great songs far beyond a ten count. However, here is a carefully considered and likely highly controversial list of the top 10 Kanye West tracks of all time.
10 – Gold Digger → Late Registration (2005)
Possibly Kanye’s most widely popular song, ‘Gold Digger’ became a permanent fixture in clubs around the world due to its eccentric vibe and fun flavour. One should be careful however to fully discount the quality of the track. Even the first thirty seconds are packed with sounds that defined an era in music.
Jamie Foxx’s voice in this track is iconic, leading to a hard breakdown and the introduction of one of the most famous hooks in all of hip-hop.  “I ain’t sayin she a gold digger/ but she ain’t mess’n with no broke n****s” is one of the most recognisable hooks in the modern era of hip hop.
The beat stays consistently upbeat, forcing even the most fridget of listeners to at least tap a foot or bob a head. The song reaches out of the bounds of just the rap game and has the widespread pop appeal that few rap songs were able to have before that time.
While Kanye brings the lyrical heat, there are songs that are significantly more intriguing in manner senses. While this song has gained international popularity and acclaim due to it’s accessible greatness, it fails in some respects to do justice to the type of work Kanye is capable of. For this reason, a ranking in the top ten is more than enough to recognise Kanye’s most famous track.
9 – Love Lockdown → 808s and Heartbreaks (2008)
Ah so we come to the heartbreaking love ballad. A story about the conflict between fame and love. The lyrics of this song are less of a concern here, as nothing blows you away in this regard. No immaculate or majestic stage is set by anything that the vocals say. What makes this song so great is that it relies entirely on the way that the instrumentals work so beautifully together to provoke such deep feelings on the listener’s part.
Rather it’s the slow burn and build that transpires throughout the song. The deep bass drums that belt out from the beginning are so deep it feels like someone is drumming your soul. You can just focus on those drums tapping in your chest. One, two, three, four. One, two, three, four. It’s the consistent beat that dominates the song and helps define it. Slowly Kanye adds layers of instruments on top, slowly, until one is totally submerged in the very simple message of Kanye’s heartbreak.
Then the outro. No spoken word just a deep forest sounds that build the song to it’s final climax before being striped away to that all too familiar beat from the intro.
8 – Jesus Walks → College Dropout (2004)
Young Kanye lays down some bars in this one. The whole song relies almost entirely on two pillars.
The first, the context to religion and christianity. This shows in the overall tone of the track, with the back up vocals all having a distinct church group style. This juxtaposed with the preaching manner in which Kanye is actually rapping creates a sense that you’re engulfed in a sermon on the Mount of Yeezus.
The second is Kanye coming at everybody trying to make a name for himself.
“You know what the Midwest is? Young and restless
Where restless (niggas) might snatch your necklace
And next these (niggas) might jack your Lexus
Somebody tell these (niggas) who Kanye West is.”
It’s worth noting this is off Kanye’s first album. He’s basically introducing himself to the audience that tells them one very clear message. My name is Kanye, I’m from the city of Chicago and I’m a badass.
7 – Black Skinhead→ Yeezus (2013)
Gritty Kanye is a good Kanye.
This is Kanye’s best gritty song. When the career retrospective is written on Kanye West it’ll say many a thing. It’ll recount a polarising relationship with she who shall not be named, a beef with Taylor Swift and most prominently of all it will mention that Kanye pioneered a style that was adopted by rappers like Chance.
However this is the black box for Kanye’s influence on a harder and more experimental form of rap music.
As he mentions in the song about going 500mph and being out of control. It’s a direct fuck you to everyone on the outside. The public, the media, the scrutiny, all of it.
It’s the Kardashian era Kanye mission statement. I’m going to do whatever I want to do, make whatever music I want and do it whenever I want to do it.
6 – Hey Mama → Late Registration (2005)
This is some great early Kanye. Just simple story telling over a cool beat with some fun lyricism. It’s the kind of song you play when you’re just hanging out with your friends on a lazy Sunday afternoon enjoying the sunshine.
There’s not a lot to hate about this song. It’s an upbeat tribute from a wildly successful son to the mother that helped him on his road to stardom. Even hook is loveable.
“(Hey Mama), I wanna scream so loud for you, cause I’m so proud of you
Let me tell you what I’m about to do, (Hey Mama)
I know I act a fool but, I promise you I’m goin back to school
I appreciate what you allowed for me
I just want you to be proud of me (Hey Mama)”
Deep down inside we all wish we could just straight up shout out our awesome mothers in song and actually pull it off. So for being a fun, well constructed and never boring display by a loud and proud mama’s boy, Hey Mama pulls a sweet sixth spot.
5 – Blood On Leaves → Yeezus (2013)
Blood on Leaves is dark, hard and gritty.
The sample of Nina Simone’s ‘Strange Fruit’ over piano keys to intro the song immediately catches attention before Kanye is even able to spit a line. The repetition of the phrase “blood on leaves” is a staple of the track, and if one wants to truly appreciate the depth of this song, they should check out the original song itself.
This is one of Kanye’s more undeniably provocative tracks. From referencing lynchings in the south during the late 1800s to calling out Instagram frauds, Kanye covers a very broad range of sensitive social issues whilst remaining aggressive throughout. The use of the song ‘Strange Fruit’ as a sample holds a lot of weight in this sense politically. It’s not trying to be a party banger, nor is it a song built for the radio. It’s a track that’s meant to make you think about the world. Usually when artists (and Kanye is guilty of this too) try and do this kind of commentary, they can miss the point entirely, seeming to lecture more than provoke.
This is not the case with Blood on Leaves.
4 – Dark Fantasy → My Beautiful Dark Twisted Fantasy (2010)
Doing this list, however you cut it, teaches you something. Kanye has made some really fucking great music in his career.
With that explicitly stated, we have Dark Fantasy. The fact is that this ranking might not do this song justice. It has all the great aspects of an all-time great Kanye track.
The intro feels like a kids story turned dark right at the end. The hook is amazingly done, providing insight into the way Ye sees himself. The top, better yet, the very top. He’s actually asking if it actually gets any higher than where he is. All performed with beautiful vocals that seem more heavenly than arrogant.
Then Kanye spits bars on bars on bars on top of a very old school rap beat. Just Kanye performing some verbal acrobatics in a way that resonates with hip-hop fans of any era. It’s this kind of performing that puts him all-time lists with other great pure rappers like Nas.
The fact is that this track would be number one a lot of lists if it were made by another artist. But alas, Kanye’s discography is a lot like the 2017 Golden State Warriors. Three can only be three in a Big Three. Sorry Klay Thompson, and sorry Dark Fantasy.
3 – Touch the Sky → Late Registration (2005)
Along with the aforementioned Gold Digger and Jesus Walks, this song is among Kanye’s most famous. Like the others, it grabs your attention from the start, giving you only four small beats to prepare for a vibrant experience blossoming with energy and optimism.
The reason this song gets a higher place on this list is the incredible interaction between the orchestra, Kanye’s choice of tone and even a strong Lupe Fiasco feature. Kanye also puts forth one of his stronger performances from a verbal gymnastics perspectives. Some Kanye songs you can kind of keep up with lyrically. Other than the chorus, anything Kanye vocalises on this track is pretty tough to follow for longer than a few seconds.
For being a nice blend between mainstream hit, pure rap skill and that dash of Kanye flavour, Touch The Sky opens up the top three.
2 – Runaway → My Beautiful Dark Twisted Fantasy (2010)
Runaway will certainly be one of Kanye’s greatest career accomplishments. The opening piano keys are hauntingly beautiful, consuming the listener with confusing but real emotions from the very beginning. It’s the anticipation that get’s you, like in a horror film when you’re waiting for the jump scare. Then the different note rings in you ear and you feel it. That’s just the first twenty seconds of a nine minute emotional odyssey.
The song sends chills down your spine from the start and is best consumed in a dark room with your eyes closed. It’s what Kanye West does better than many artists in history. Then the song actually starts and it has an effect, a personal one at that.
Kanye is unravelling himself in song. He acknowledges his arrogance, the fact that he is not perfect whilst also admitting himself to be a perfectionist. It’s a raw self reflection where it seems that Ye struggles both with a pursuit of perfection in his life but also knows ultimately that nothing can remain totally without flaw forever.
It’s Kanye’s perception on the fleeting nature of beauty and love. It feels so intimate all the way through, the kind of connection the song makes is the kind you only experience sparingly in life.
Then there’s the outro. An over three minute voyage. Just auto tuned and indecipherable vocals over the haunting but classically beautiful instrumentals. Much in the way one can become entranced with the mystery of a Frank Ocean track, the outro provides and incredible conclusion to a perfect song.
1 – Ultralight Beam → The Life of Pablo (2016)
There are some great tracks that have been discussed in this piece and even more that didn’t even get a honorable mention. Some club bangers. Some heartfelt ballads. Some joyous proclamations of the joy of life. Some angry protests. With the close study of every track and skit on every album Ye has ever released, there is an undeniable truth.
Ultralight Beam is the greatest track Kanye West has ever made.
I understand the opposing argument. The Life of Pablo as an album has many flaws. The Kanye you get in TLOP overall is not the best Kanye we have ever been fortunate to experience. No song on that album had the mainstream acclaim of other songs. Nor did it universally get approved by every diehard hip-hop fan. TLOP is an average Kanye West album, mainly because it has too many songs that feel like filler. Whilst I don’t agree with all these assertions, I do understand them.
But none of those arguments have anything to do with Ultralight Beam.
It feels heavenly, divine, omnipotent and enlightening. I still remember driving around with my sister when I first heard it. My heart melted with the transition from the girl talking about God to those incredible chords and vocals. The instrumentals are insane, undeniably some of Kanye’s best producing work.
Then the choir hits. The choir is beautiful. The choir is exactly what it says it is. A god dream.
A deep beat, soul melting chords and an inspiring choir all collide to touch a very sensitive part of your very being you never knew. Kelly Price’s voice is the definition of musical beauty. All of this all time great Kanye work builds to what clinches the title for best Kanye track. The best verse of 2016 performed by Chance the Rapper. There’s too much about this verse that is great to limit it to one part. The song built perfectly to that voice, with those words over that beat.
If you’re still not totally convinced, listen to the last twenty seconds of that song a few times. Listen to it from beginning to end by yourself and really listen. That build over a song to the incredibly beautiful ending is what Kanye has thrived on his whole career. This is his greatest example of it.
It’s okay to disagree. The denial is expected. I sought out another answer. A great spiritual journey was undertaken. Many a possibility pondered. But in the end, there can only be one.
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beerswax · 7 years
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Mountain Goat Rare Breed - The Zymurgist IPA...Reverend Bizarre - In The Rectory of the Bizarre Reverend
I’m making this a bad habit once again...
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Another one of the Mountain Goat rare breed brews. Since I first started drinking their beers, a lot has changed. They got bought out by Asahi, and they’ve expanded. I’m sorry to say that with that expansion, the predicted slight “dumbing-down” of their standard range has occurred. I swear the once-amazing Hightail Ale is no longer so amazing. I’ve reviewed their new Pale Ale and while I continue to drink it and enjoy it, it does somewhat pale (HURR HURR…) in comparison to their previous efforts. But one thing that has not changed is that they pull out these Rare Breed limited edition brews and they’e generally interesting and, for the most part, absolutely excellent.
The one on review today is one that was brewed last year, The Zymurgist, an American-style IPA which is at once familiar but also strange. The aroma is all IPA hoppy goodness with a slightly-off smell which is actually quite appealing for some reason, but I swear the first taste I had was those hops married wonderfully to a yeast -and-malty backbone which was immediately reminiscent of a dank, wondrously old Belgian brew. That is then quashed for a hop-and-alcohol rich explosion of IPA flavours. This is a genuinely-great IPA that shouldn’t really work as you can tell they packed in about a million different hop varieties into it, but by Beelzebub it fucking works. It has the over-the-top resiny characteristics of a West Coast IPA, with the slightly-skunky feel of an old-world European yeasty ale. My hats off to Mountain Goat - they can sometimes make the unlikely extremely, beautifully real. Yes, I’m a little pissed and channeling my inner total fucking wanker, but shut up. This is a great beer and I wish it were a regular one rather than a limited edition one.
I’ll admit, I’ve had this beer before. When Mountain Goat release these suckers, I stock up on them. I’m reviewing this one at the end of its life (it’s past its “best before” date by nearly a month) so I know what it tastes like. And I knew it would be, once again, an orgasm in a brown bottle. So I paired it with one of my favourite albums. Reverend Bizarre were a rare “true doom metal” band that had all the characteristics and cliches of a “typical” doom metal band - slow, over-the-top, silly, and totally unpalatable to people who don’t even know what doom metal is. They wore that “doom metal” label like a badge of honour. They went out to produce the doomiest of traditional doom metal ever. And my fucking GOD they succeeded. There are very few doom bands who can pull off what they pulled off. Their average length of song is longer than it takes to take the average dump/number 2, and they ALWAYS broke my cardinal rule of perfect album length (i.e. 45 minutes tops). But I will happily sit through their longest album, So Long, Suckers, which is over two fucking hours, regularly. They had the rare gift of being able to write doom songs that were slow, crawling, molasses-velocity amazing riff-fests, with Albert Witchfinder’s totally melodramatic vocal acrobatics all over them and some of the most incredible doom drumming ever. Most of their output was totally engrossing and engaging. Even when they were being super-indulgent and total wankers, it was just magical. This, their first album, In the Rectory of the Bizarre Reverend (and yes, I LOVE the word-play and homage to In the Court of the Crimson King here), contains a song called Cirith Ungol (because yes, of COURSE it is), which is 20+ minutes long and one that nay-sayers bring up to criticise the over-indulgence of the band… but I never really notice the time has elapsed, because the song is atmospheric, riff-driven, and wonderful. Reverend Bizarre were a true anomaly in the doom metal world - a band who, the slower they got, also got more interesting. Bands before and after have tried to emulate this and, in my opinion, have never even come close. Rev Biz took the template that Sabbath unwittingly laid down generations earlier and took it to the most illogical extreme, but for some reason it worked. Kimi Karki, the guitarist of Reverend Bizarre, formed a band called Lord Vicar after Rev Biz folded, and while they are an amazing doom band, in my opinion they just cannot compete with the legacy that Reverend Bizarre left. Whenever I listen to Reverend Bizarre, I can honestly say I have conflicting emotions - sorrow that they didn’t continue, but gratitude that they went out in a slow, burning blaze of glory.
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