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#but some i've seen very much carry the same vibe as being invited in to someone's house and dumping spaghetti bolognese on their carpet
lit-in-thy-heart · 9 months
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people leaving not glowing reviews in ao3 bookmarks my unbeloved
#went onto one of my fics to familiarise myself with interactions before continuing to tackle a planned sequel#saw someone else had bookmarked it and went :DD and got even more excited to see it had been bookmarked with a comment#buut the comment was just like 'i mean it was alright' which isn't shattering criticism but it's like#i spent 2 weeks writing and editing and tying myself in knots and worrying about the depiction of characters in that fic#it's one that i'm actually quite proud of and am putting a lot of effort into the follow-up and trying to maintain the same tone#why would someone bother to bookmark it if it just felt average -- moreover why bother to say that?#i've seen worse ones#like i understand that you're not going to like every single fic in existence but unless people ask for feedback#you don't need to leave your critical review in a comment that the author can see#and i know how i've worded it may sound conceited#but some i've seen very much carry the same vibe as being invited in to someone's house and dumping spaghetti bolognese on their carpet#like if you're not a fan either don't accept the invitation or politely leave instead of posting a pic on social media#with a caption of how much of a state the house was#it just baffles me why someone would bookmark something they didn't thoroughly enjoy#anyway#shoutout to the fantastic people who leave lovely comments on fics and in bookmarks and put a smile on fic writers' faces you're all swell#even just a !!!!!! makes my day <3#personal#lit talks
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draftingteacups · 2 years
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I just thought of this all of a sudden, (maybe because I saw a clip on youtube) but what if Either the Octo Trio or The King of the Coral Sea encounters Manaphy, the pokemon who is revered as the Prince of the Sea (what with the movie's and such, heck even Kyogre obeyed the little Babu) or if not Manaphy, what bout Phione?
Ooooh 👀 I liked the Manaphy movie when it came out ngl. It was a really cute movie.
I love the idea of a floating palace for Manaphy. It fits well with the theme of the sea never staying in one place.
The King of the Coral Sea notices this floating palace that's heavily protected for some reason and has the strange Pokemon creatures that he was introduced to by Soni.
Soni was invited by the King of the Coral Sea with a few others like the Octotrio and she was like "Wait, I think I've seen this place before in books-"
Out pops little Manaphy.
Manaphy spinning around: "Mana Mana!" Oh, a Blessed, it's been such a long, long time since I've met one! Hello!
Soni nods: "It's a pleasure to meet the Prince of the Sea."
Everyone else: "Wait, what-"
The Octotrio would be quite interested in the little Baby Prince being the Prince of the Sea, although I feel like Manaphy would lash out at them and switch them up using Heartswap to get to safety. Manaphy is particularly sensitive to emotions and the Pokemon can sense that the Octotrio is Bad Vibes.
Imagining Floyd and Jade swapping is basically Endless Halloween Night with Jade taking on a Floyd-like personality aksdkjlf ☠️☠️
Azul would try and control the two and they'd be mixed up because they wouldn't know at first; basically chaos for the Takoyaki boy 🐙
Just imagine Soni being swapped with someone else when Manaphy's trying to get to her because of being Blessed; I'll write out a post on what exactly a Blessed is once we get to it officially in the fic since that's spoilers, but yeah, Baby Manaphy wants cuddles and they want it now
For this, I'mma just roll a wheel.
...
I got Ace alskdfjlkajlkfa
Soni (inwardly Ace): "Wha- WHAT THE HELL?! Teacher's pet, what the hell is going on?! Why am I staring at myself?! Crap, why does my chest feel heavy-"
Ace (inwardly Soni) cuddling the Baby Manaphy and glaring so hard: "Don't you even think about saying another word, you dumbass, I swear to Arceus."
Deuce: "Ace, don't call Prefect a dumbass!"
Ace (inwardly Soni) sighs: "No, Deuce. Me and Ace switched bodies, so right now, I'm Soni."
Deuce: "???"
Soni (inwardly Ace) is just realizing the tiny height difference between Soni, Deuce, and his body and feels annoyed by it because damn, it kinda hurts his neck having to look up at the eel twins.
There's also a part of me that thinks that Soni (inwardly Ace) would just have a quiet revelation that Soni is very much the shortest of the group at the moment and has the most important jobs to handle (dealing with the expedition, handling the group members, etc.) with her abilities as a Pokemon Trainer, needing to be flexible and constantly thinking on her feet.
I'm also imagining Soni (inwardly Ace) just feeling the same things that Soni does with her forearm, which is oof for him. He complains about it and Soni tells him that it's normal unless it's burning up because that's a big bad news sign.
They're both relieved when the Heartswap ends and they go back to normal.
On a happier note, Happiny would just have a grand old time under the sea and have fun with Manaphy in the sand.
Happiny's just being carried by Floyd as they nyoom through the water and Deuce and Soni do their best to not lose sight of them alkfsjdfj
I feel bad that I don't have a name for the King of the Coral Sea ☠️ like I really should get to making names for them for asks like this
King of the Coral Sea is humbled by this small little one being a Prince and greets it like a royal, welcoming it into the palace. The King would tell the staff to prepare the guest's rooms while Manaphy just wants to play with everyone, very much acting like a child.
Manaphy stays with Soni the entire time, just content. Happiny does the same, and the babies just enjoy their time together.
If Prince Rielle is around (which I'm hoping to see him one day in the game), he'd be so intrigued by the humans, especially by Soni who's handling Manaphy and all the other Pokemon.
Seeing that, Azul would be like, "Ahaha, Monet-san is quite a nice person" and Soni just rolls her eyes at his fake flattery. I'm pretty sure this is Post Episode 3, so it's just hidden smirks (Azul), glaring (Soni), and overall tension between those two.
King of the Coral Sea would try and establish ties with Manaphy, but Manaphy prefers to live freely and explore things. After all, it rules all the seas and does as it pleases, never really sticking to one place.
I don't think that the King of the Coral Sea would think that's a problem seeing as the palace that Manaphy resides in literally moves in the waves and really highlights the free-spirited nature of the Pokemon. King of the Coral Seas seeing a tiny resemblance to Prince Rielle's own free-spirited nature in the Pokemon would make the little Pokemon a favorite.
Manaphy gets shown around the place and eventually sees an open field where the Pokemon just has fun.
Imagine if Soni and Azul get lost in a weird sea current, pulling them away and they have to work together to get back to the others.
Soni's with Mila or even Guppy who would love the space of the ocean. Azul's still self-conscious about his other form in the Coral Sea, so he's moving around in his human form. They're both riding Guppy because Guppy's huge and noticeable, but the good boy is very strong thus can travel distances more easily than regular merfolk.
Once they escape the current, they still need to travel back and thus keep moving.
Azul: "Can you please put that creature away?!"
Soni: "I thought you said that there were sea dragons around here?"
Azul: "Yes, but your dragon monster is certainly a little different from the norm around here!"
Soni: "They're the same thing though?"
Azul just grumbles: "Anything not fitting the norm is considered strange and rejected..."
Soni: "Well, isn't that great that I'm a human from an entirely different world where my concept of normal is completely different from yours. Of course, I'm gonna be weird compared to you!"
Yeah, it'd be chaos getting back.
I can see Soni getting sidetracked by Pokemon that surround her like in the Little Mermaid and Azul has to drag her away without pissing off Guppy in the process, which works relatively well.
Azul's trying not to get eaten alsfdjlklakj
There's also a part of me that wants the two of them to explore a ship or something and go on a mini-adventure, showing off their respective strengths: Azul with his knowledge and Soni with her exploration experience in ruins. They manage to get through quickly.
I can see one moment where they would need ink to write down the location of the place and see if there are more interesting parts around it later.
Soni: "I'm not carrying a pen with me right now, but I think Rotophone can still work underwater. I don't know if I can though is the problem-"
Azul pushes up his glasses: "I can provide the ink that we need."
Soni is just confused: "What do you mean?"
Azul raises an eyebrow: "I thought that you were the intelligent one of your friends." *gestures to himself* "I'm an Octomer, if you can recall."
Instantly, Soni grimaces: "Just so you know, I am not milking you."
Azul sputters at that: "I can simply produce it without you touching me!"
Soni just hums at that.
When the King of the Coral Seas finds an enormous Pokemon looking disoriented and confused in the form of a giant sea dragon, he goes off to see what's wrong with it.
It's vicious.
The Braincell Trio realizes it's a Gyarados, but they see that it's Wild because Guppy never attacks people since he's pretty docile unless something happens to Soni. They hope that's not the case and go to try and take the Pokemon out before it could cause major damage.
In comes Guppy who tackles the Wild Gyarados that gets angrier at the presence of another one of its kind. The two of them fight off in the water with Soni using more of her aquatic Pokemon to wear down the Gyarados until Manaphy commands the Wild Gyarados to calm down.
The Wild Gyarados calms down and goes off into the oceans, leaving the people relieved that things were alright in the end.
Soni's like, "Yeah, Wild Gyarados are really hard to tame, but Guppy here was raised as a Magikarp and is quite friendly as long as you don't try and pull something on me."
The guards knew earlier that messing with the human holding the little Pokemon Sea Prince was a bad idea, but seeing how Soni had a sea dragon that could become volatile should something happen to her, they know better than to tempt fate.
In the end, Guppy gets pets and Manaphy sits on his head without any problems. I can see little Merchildren just excited at Gyarados and Soni goes through a crash course of Gyarados for them, trying not to let her Casual Pokegraphic self ruin their fun.
Casual Geographic Soni: "It's actually rare to find them in the wild, so when you find them, be careful. They have enough rage in them to last a month's worth of devastation."
Merchild #1: "Wah, that's scary! I'd rather stay away from them if that was the case!"
Casual Geographic Soni: "That really depends on the care and environment that they're raised in, Skiddo. Wild Gyarados that aren't exposed to people are more dangerous due to their lack of contact with other lifeforms, but Gyarados that evolve from Magikarp with a loving trainer are more docile and friendly. They still retain a sense of protectiveness over their Trainer, so as long as you respect the trainer, you're alright."
Merchild #2: "What makes them so angry in the first place?"
Casual Geographic Soni: "When they transform or Evolve, their brains get affected by it. For Wild Gyarados, they're usually responding to fear from larger predators, so they lash out and grow larger to scare away that predator. However, that lashing out combined with Evolution makes them more destructive and angry as a result."
Merchild #1: "Eh... so they're super angry all the time because they were scared? Because they don't know any better?"
Casual Geographic Soni: "Not always, but it's very likely in the ocean for competition and such."
The whole trip ends with Manaphy leaving in peace with connections to the merfolk in the Coral Sea and the others exploring the culture of the Coral Sea without the panic of a three-day deadline.
Just some shenanigans would be:
Soni seeing Prism Scales and being able to take them without having to pay for a single one of them. Possibly Water Stones are sold as jewelry pieces since they're super common because y'know, it's underwater and magical land?
Soni sees Clamperls and tells the others to watch out because Huntail and Gorebyss could be nearby.
Huntail is obviously menacing, but Gorebyss doesn't look scary until they see it hunt after another Pokemon.
Floyd is warned to not go near Clamperl and does so anyway; gets clamped on by the Pokemon on his head and it's only after Soni asks it to let go that it does so, especially with Guppy just hovering behind her.
Floyd: "Shrimpy, I wanna squeeze it now."
Soni: "We just saved you from that experience."
Chaos under the sea 🌊🐟
One of the things that I remember about Phione is that one anime episode with one getting a crush on Buneary and that's it alksdfkjla ☠️
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uponrightful · 3 years
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I've been wanting to send this one in for a while. What was going through the Wolfpacks mind and how much did Wolffe hear?
“I’d heard about him a lot from your brothers, how angry he was and that they thought he could use someplace like here. Home. But I didn’t think that he would ever show up. And, after a couple times something happened. I don’t know who really even started it.” The girl took another steadying breath, before continuing on the now spilling thoughts and feelings she’d been bottling up for months now. Completely unaware of the three men’s attention being drawn out the window where a grey and blue painted trooper walked towards the front door.
“I think about him, all the time. I hear his voice when I wake up, and I constantly dream about him. It’s like I’m constantly in this fever dream where I’ve finally been given something that I can’t deny I want.” All of the confusion crashed down in a wave of crystal-clear realization. Audience of troopers aside, the girl hadn’t thought it all through so straight.
She was brought back to Rex, sitting there drinking his caf with a look of disappointment when she’d mentioned that there wasn’t anything she wanted out of life. Other than helping the troopers. It hadn’t been the first time he’d asked, and she hadn’t realized why until now. She had the ability to have what she wanted. Regulations didn’t affect her, and neither did anyone else who didn’t have her best interests at heart. Rex hadn’t meant love specifically, or anything of the like, but what she didn’t get was why it mattered. His constant reminders spoken to the fact that without knowing… she couldn’t possibly go about getting it. Whatever “it” is. The girl’s sudden epiphany was that she finally knew -for once in her life- that there was something she wanted more than anything.
And that was Wolffe.
Her awestruck reaction and frozen posture thawed to see not a single pair of eyes focused on her. Boost, Sinker and Comet were all watching high above her head into the kitchen at something positively damning. Behind her, the heavy sound of boots thumped against the floor echoing off the silent walls of the house. Her heart, already thrumming with personal-realization began working double-time as the steps got closer.
Commentary Track for Welcome Company
Copy 500 words -or more- of any of my fics and I’ll give my thoughts/rambles on what was going through my head -or the character’s- when I wrote it!
*Send one in here*
@taz-107 You and I have some of the best discussions on literally everything Clones, and I'm so happy you sent this one in! I kinda went all-in, because I know you don't mind my word vomit 😅
I love you dearly 🤍
***
Let's start with the Wolfpack shall we?
Comet and Sinker know Pup the best, obviously. They think she's sweet, and they've always had a sense of little-sister vibes from her. It's the way she always invites them in, and never let's them leave without being adamant that they come back again... Preferably leaving less time between visits. Her home is one that the Pack really doesn't get to spend much time in, but when they do get the chance it's like they never left. Habits are created very easily, so the same dinners are almost always on the menu and there's almost a bedtime ritual they both have which never goes abandoned. Comet and Sinker are men of habit, but they never miss out on Pup's willingness to oblige them basically anything they want.
For Boost, his normal happy-go-lucky (and troublemaker) attitude is absent. This is the first time he's meeting Pup, and like most troopers he's hesitant for a number of reasons. It's illegal what they're doing, and although this girl has been nothing but a god-send for his brothers, it's nerve-racking to be in an unusual situation like sitting in a living room and talking just for the enjoyment of it. In a matter of an evening though, he's already falling into that same trap of love and affection that everyone else does when they meet Pup. She's sweet, and overly worrisome about his boots not being comfortable. (Something Boost wasn't sure he'd ever thought about before.)
The Pack's decision to make a visit wasn't a difficult one to make. Each of them had seen the changes in Wolffe's personality, whether big or small, and right away they knew that it was because he'd finally went for his own visit. It wasn't until Chapter Five that they realize there's something more going on than just what Comet and Sinker are familiar with experiencing during their stays at Home. It's the way their Commander doesn't seem to respond to them quickly -like he's off somewhere else in his mind- and the many times they've caught him taking a nap during a mission, mumbling to himself with the occasional slip-up of her name crossing his lips. The entire Wolfpack -Plo Koon included- know that their Commander has it bad. And initially, they're a little bit confused as to why Pup would ever take a liking to someone as harsh as Wolffe.
Note: Until this point, no one has seen Wolffe interact with Pup, and I made this decision very carefully. It was crucial that Wolffe come to form some sense of habit and security with her before this moment happens. It's to better display the completely different way Wolffe acts as a Commander, versus when he's with Pup. Wolffe is extremely talented at prioritizing tasks, whatever they may be. Therefore, when he's a soldier that's the only thing he normally has the mental capacity for. But when he's with Pup, he takes that romantic role just as seriously as he would directing troops on the frontlines.
The Pack know Wolffe is the one coming in the door. They also realize that they'd incidentally forced Pup's hand, and now they had no way of stopping her from talking without making everything even more awkward than it's already becoming. With every second that passes between seeing him walk past the window, Pup just keeps talking and the collective hope of the 104th is that Wolffe's change in attitude isn't just a passing fancy for Pup, and that her proclamation of love is one that their brother will see as something significant. In the background of this apprehension for Wolffe's reaction, they're actually shocked to hear Pup admit what she does about Wolffe.
They've always known Wolffe to be a little on the stiff side of rules and decorum, and even the mention of him being the least bit romantic enough to capture her attention is just another blow to these men's (hopelessly misguided) ideas about their Commander. He's not the most gentle person, and Pup is nothing short of an angel... (That's literally Sinker's nickname for her.) They make for a strange pair, and there's a bit of all three of them that have the same worry that Rex does; Can she actually handle him?
Note: I've always thought of Wolffe as a tortured soul, that never deserved the copious punishments that was handed to him in his life. And in the fic, there was a huge motivation to really play up just how worried troopers get about their brothers who end up the way Wolffe is when we see him post-cybernetics. He's angry and vicious to an extent. Not that he was a really carefree guy to begin with, but it's such a contrast that all of the men who knew Wolffe closely can see a very scary change in the Commander once he's brought back for duty. (Fives and Rex's conversation in Chapter Five is where I tried to make that fear a little more palpable and realistic of what war has done to Wolffe through the eyes of men who've seen things similar...)
They hear her words, and they're all staring at Wolffe who's got the most impassive expression they've ever seen before. It's stiffer than when he's at a parade rest, and even his posture looks like it could fucking snap at any second. But the second Pup's pause of realization hits her, Wolffe suddenly decides to join them all. Every last one of the Pack are holding their breath for this; Literally none of them have any idea of what to expect. They're all making subconscious guesses, trying to read his movements, literally anything that might help try and relax this tension. But when Wolffe just sits himself down at Pup's feet; Stretching out his leg and visibly melting back against her chair...
It's utter shock.
Note: I chose Boost for the next POV because he fit the need perfectly. Not only does he know Wolffe extremely well, but he doesn't have this predetermined idea of what Pup is like. He knows on a surface level that she's very kind and a little shy. But I needed him for this moment because it's truly perception-bending to see Wolffe take such a submissive posture towards this girl. (Her admittance that she loves him aside.) Boost has never seen Wolffe carry himself like that, and I wanted you to see it through his eyes because that's Wolffe's constant personality. Pup is the only one who's seen Wolffe soft -so this isn't new to her- but for the Pack, this is unprecedented behavior.
Now for our sweet, sweet, Commander 🤍
Wolffe was very preoccupied with his conversation with Anakin from Chapter Six and the upset over being forced to come back so late in the evening. He wouldn't dare not return after promising that he would, but the idea of making her wait up so late didn't sit right with him in the slightest. Being so caught up in his own head, he doesn't notice the Wolfpack staring at him through the open window dressings, and he's completely unaware that they'd chosen to come and see her as well. (He tries not to worry himself too much about what they do on planet-leave, and this was just one of his weaker moments.) Not that Wolffe would ever admit to being constantly worried about his brother's getting into trouble, and him not being able to get them out of it.
But all of that changes the second he walks into the house and hears Pup talking. It's not what she's saying at first; But instead just hearing her voice is enough to make Wolffe pause and listen as he pulls his bucket off his head. She's so soft, but this time there's a different edge to it; And standing in the hallway is when Wolffe finally realizes that she's talking about him. It's a miracle he didn't drop his bucket in a loud clatter to the floor in that instant.
Pup is saying things that Wolffe couldn't have dreamt about even coming from her mouth. Admitting that he’s in her dreams like she constantly takes a place in his. Detailing just how surreal it is to have him around her, just like it feels in his own mind. Pup is speaking exactly what Wolffe has been feeling for months and it's all Wolffe can to do try and stay quiet, just so he doesn't miss another word. Every syllable is spoken like she read it right from his heart, and Wolffe is so speechless that he's on the verge of busting through the house to find her and really show her exactly what a fever-dream he could provide for her.
But the moment he sees his brothers, all staring at his shadowed figure in the kitchen he realizes that they knew he was listening, and that now there was no turning back. Wolffe is feeling really pressured at this moment. Not because he doesn't love Pup -because he really does- but it's hard to traverse the admission with his men watching him for a reaction. They know nothing about his relationship with Pup, and he's kept it that way for fear of someone thinking it was unprofessional, and attempting to do something about it that would not only risk himself and the other men who need her, but Pup herself for providing care and warmth to men who were considered GAR property. He doesn't suspect that his men would ever do something like that, but there's this sense of fear that makes Wolffe present himself so emotionlessly. That is, until he can collect his own emotions for hearing her, and try to play it off.
Note: Wolffe is very skittish. And that's all to do with the treatment he faced after his fight with Ventress. He thinks very lowly of himself personally, but has an unbreakable expectation that he do everything exactly as it should be done without failure. This makes him a wonderful leader, but god-awful at admitting he has feelings aside from diplomatic neutrality. He's struggling to do the right thing here, when there really isn't a textbook example of how to handle expressing the emotion of know the person you love, admitting to loving you back in front of a small crowd. Wolffe doesn't understand that anything he could've chosen to do would've been acceptable here. But in the end, Wolffe's diplomacy is what guided the plot. (Once again, I only write for the characters, I hardly ever get creative liberty when coming to the conclusion of what my non-OC characters do. Even then, my OC's are very diligent in reminding me that they have their own personalities and I can't just make them do anything.)
Wolffe chooses what feels comfortable to him in this moment. At this point, everyone -including Pup- is waiting for him. And when he walks into the living room, his first instinct is to go where he feels the safest. And that's with her. (It's important that he sits at her feet and I'll tell you why in a moment.) Wolffe wants to be with her as best he can in this moment. He still feels that emotional relief and warmth of hearing her say she had the same feelings for him, but the last thing he wants to do is put either of them on the spot in front of his brothers that are appearing very worried and utterly confused at the moment. So to tone down the tension he'd accidentally created, he just does what feels right; And that's to let Pup know he's happy to see her, and give the apology he'd been meaning to all along.
"Sorry m'late."
From there, his men -sharp as ever- realize that he has wants to do this one his own, and Comet takes the initiative to take conversation somewhere else for the time being. He's silently grateful for that, and although he never says anything to them about it, Wolffe is certain that they did so on his behalf and wouldn't expect a thank you for it.
The rest of the night is easy to get lost in. His boys -always needing to show off- take turns coming into themselves again, and decide that a competition of war-stories and funny -albeit stupid- stories are in order. It feels natural like this, and Wolffe hasn't ever felt so proud having all of his brothers and his precious lady all in the same room where they can just be normal for a little while. He's extremely attentive to Pup's attempts at touching him, and he has to bite back a smile when he feels her secretive touches against his back. She's doing it on purpose to avoid his brother's notice, but Wolffe realizes she's probably just as nervous to be outright about it as well. After all, he'd not made a single comment about what she'd said, but he was kriffing surprised that it didn't change her desire to be close to him.
Note: Wolffe sat on the floor for a reason. And it wasn't my decision in the slightest. The way the living room sits, Pup has the best view of the room. Her back is to a corner, and the couch and chair that Boost, Sinker, and Comet occupy and positioned to face in her direction. It's strategic -and instinctual- that Wolffe put himself at the center of attention. That is basically a requirement that he head his squad at all times, and naturally he doesn't distinguish this scenario apart from any other. It's simply the Commanding Officer in him. But to a -wonderfully complex- part of Wolffe's character, he's doing it because that puts Pup at his back where he knows she's safe. His brother's aren't harmful in the slightest, but Wolffe knows that should there be a threat, he'll see them coming, and they'd have to go through him to get to her first. Protecting Pup is one of Wolffe's greatest motives throughout the entire fic, and this was one moment I wanted to play that theme out silently. (I don't know if anyone really picked up on it.)
This choice to sit at her feet appears very submissive to the Pack, and to Pup for that matter. But really Wolffe is subconsciously staking claim and protective charge over Pup without even realizing that he's doing so. For example; he could've picked her up and sat down in the chair with her in his lap, he could've sat down next to one of his brothers instead, or even chose to stand somewhere. But all of those choices leave Pup undefended. Wolffe doesn't see that he's doing it, and neither does anyone else in a very direct way. But if you pay attention to the way I toned the scene, you'll notice that Wolffe doesn't ever lose control of the room. Focus and power is always on him even when no one thinks wiser. It's what makes Wolffe such a commander figure all of the time. He has a natural predisposition to hold command, so even when Wolffe isn't trying have dominance, it's always present in the subtle way he moves, speaks, and presents himself to those around him.
***
Thank you for sending this in my love ☺️ I hope it wasn't too long, and you covered everything well enough! If not, let me know what I missed and I'd be glad to fill in the blank spots!
Much Love, Rightful 🤍
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