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mistresslynndramione · 2 years

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Recap of what I’ve read lately!

I’m long overdue for one of these, so I went back to the WAYR thread on reddit to see what I posted about. I still said I’d do a massive rec of underrated authors and their stories - I’ll pull that together too, but let me just get this out here first because it’s less work.

The Fluffy Gore Fest - I put this fest together with Jana and @lilithshadefanfic. The prompts range from violent and gory to fluffy and romantic. The challenge of the authors was to incorporate both elements into their stories, or to make a twist on the prompt they chose. The results of this fest were fantastic. Genre mashups, unique premises, really cool artwork, hilarious situations, and the best tag I have ever seen in fandom: non-con pseudo cannibalism. I highly recommend trawling through the submissions, there are 26 of varying lengths, genres, and levels of gore. Super fun! But mind the tags. ;)

Seven Minutes in Hell by echoesofmyfootsteps (4.6K, M)

Summary: Hogwarts has inaugurated a fully integrated 8th year class, regardless of previous house or Death Eater status. On the surface, it appears like a bold experiment in harmony. In practice, they’re still just young adults doing young adult things.“ Seven Minutes in Heaven, the Muggles call it. But heaven isn’t my thing.” Pansy paused dramatically and popped her hip. “We’re playing Seven Minutes in Hell—a chance for you to have a real, no-holds-barred, honest-albeit-forced conversation with your greatest enemy in eighth year.” The room went silent.

My thoughts: It's exactly what you want it to be. Funny, snarky, good characterizations of the side characters playing off each other and the mains, and delicious angry making out.The sequel:

Seven Minutes in Hell(ishly Frigid Water)- 3.2K, E.

Summary: That was it. They were going to have to amputate his cock. Farewell, future family of little Malfoys. Adieu, dreams of Eiffel Tower sex. Draco Malfoy and Hermione Granger have been dating for a month since their escapades in the broom cupboard, and much to his chagrin, they haven’t yet experienced anything as steamy as that night. So when she casually mentions never having gone skinny dipping, he jumps at the opportunity. If only reality didn’t have the irritating tendency to crush every fantasy. A totally indulgent sexy Dramione skinny-dipping oneshot, happening after the events of “Seven Minutes in Hell.”

My thoughts: Draco's snarky, drama queen-esque POV for this smutty skinny dipping one shot is hilarious.

Granny Smiths by ChaosAndCrumpets (4K, rated T)

Summary: The worst thing, Draco Malfoy thinks, about being the fallen scion of an ancient and noble house banished to the Muggle world for his various misdeeds, is undoubtedly the grocery shopping. At least it helps him to discover an unexpected talent.

My thoughts: This was the most delightful thing I've ever read, with one of the best OCs ever. Meet Edith: an extremely devious, ever-so-naughty geriatric. Did you need to read about snarky, grumpy-ass, tattooed Draco reluctantly helping elderly ladies with their grocery shopping? I'm telling you right now that you absolutely do.

Draco Malfoy's Halfway House for Wayward Hens by Chaos and Crumpets (10K, rated T)

Summary: A story about Draco Malfoy, Hermione Granger and 562 ex-battery hens. This is a bit of silliness, inspired by an article I read years ago about a man who felt that rescuing ex-battery hens had saved his life. Sometimes, I like to read it when I've had a few glasses of wine, to remember how nice the world can be.

My thoughts: Draco is accused of illegally raising fire-breathing cockatrice's by his neighbor. Hermione is assigned to investigate. Turns out they're actually chickens. With hilarious names. I really enjoyed the unique premise of this story. I loved the banter, the tentative feeling each other out, the confrontation and resolution. It was all well done, none of it was contrived, none of it cliched. And the kiss at the end was a heck of a kiss. Like everything I've read from CeeCee thus far, it's silly and delightful (I haven't yet read her war fic, it's on my TBR), but this story has a lot of heart to go with it. Also? I'm convinced she needs to write an epistolary fic (please help me enable her in the comments) given the snarky jabs going back and forth by owl in the beginning of the story. Read it when you want to laugh and smile and feel like hugging everyone.

Epilimnion by witchsoup (8K, rated M)

Summary: The tournament was supposed to be safe. Dumbledore was a personal friend of the chieftain, spoke Mermish, commanded the waters of the Black Lake and the movements of the Giant Squid. There was nothing to be afraid of, until the others (the Delacour girl, the Ravenclaw chaser, fucking Weasley) surfaced at the end of the hour. And Granger did not.

My thoughts: Oh my gosh this was fantastic. It was written for the monsterfucking fest and I'm fairly certain the writer wanted to subvert the entirety of the monsterfucking trope by making it as unsexy as possible. Definitely a ballsy move in a fest dedicated to sexy monsters, and she's got all my respect for doing it. DON'T LET THAT SCARE YOU AWAY THIS WAS SO GOOD. The writing was some of the best I've ever seen in a fic. If not the absolute best. It was gross and brutal, and some of the best body horror you'll ever read. The world building that was crammed into this super short Voldemort wins AU, was phenomenal. The head nods and the parallels to what could have been were expertly done. Highly highly recommend this one (Bek has been raving about it for a long time, I'm slow to catch on). I don't want to say anything else. I'm probably going to go binge the rest of her stuff. She's that good.

Pegged by MisDemeanor1331 (6K, rated E)Summary: They have been planning for months. Their research is complete, the necessary supplies purchased, and the scene’s negotiations finalised. So why does Draco still feel woefully unprepared for the pegging he’s about to receive from his beloved Domme, the Professor?

My thoughts: MisD is now a proud, card carrying member of The Pegging Agenda. It's the latest installment of her Yes, Professor series, in which Hermione and Draco are both switches, but all entries thus far have been with a Dom!Hermione/Sub!Draco dynamic. It looks like she may switch it up for the next story. As with all her smut, she does a bang up job in relating it to the characters, their state of mind, their growth and their future. Trusting each other is a big theme in her series, but for Draco, trusting himself is even more important.

Time and Tide (M), 30K. from MisDemeanor, this was also discussed in the book club. I'm a big fan, I think she's one of the better writers in fandom, consistently putting out unique, high quality, thought provoking pieces that say more in 30K than other writers manage in 300K, (yours truly included). She's just not as well known because she unabashedly writes horror, MCD, G,T-rated and short stories, which don't get the attention that long behemoth smut fests do. I'm notorious for skimming bits of stories (or entire chapters) in fanfiction, and yet I've never skimmed a sentence she's written. Ever.

Summary: While ferrying a message for the Order of the Phoenix, Hermione Granger is caught by jaded Death Eater, Draco Malfoy. Unlikely and unwilling allies, the pair begin a cross-country journey where their survival depends on learning when to stand strong against the elements’ fury, and when it’s acceptable to erode.

My thoughts: Where to begin? I love war fics, and this one is realistic, makes sense, and is strategic and gritty. So the story itself already ticks my boxes. Hermione as a selkie is already several trope subversions because she's the creature, not Draco, it's a creature that isn't inherently sexy, there's no mate bond, and I've never heard of it before. lol (yes, I did google it)The story reads like a fable where the choice of Selkie really adds to that feeling, starting off by contrasting Hermione's lonely life in her role for the Order - always on the move - with a quiet fishing village where she would like to lay down and rest quietly, but doesn't know if/when that will ever happen. She can't think past her role in the war. The interactions with Draco are efficient and emotionally loaded. He's similarly changed from years at war, but on a different side, unwillingly. There's a lot of trauma experienced by the two in a short time, and they lean on each other, with no pretense, baring it all. The action scenes come out of nowhere (in a good way) and are unrelenting in how brutal they can be. Much like MisD's other stories, I can visualize the scenes in this story so vividly, and they'll stay with me a long time. The fishing village, Hermione baring it all in front of Draco - with no shame - before undergoing her Selkie transformation and diving into the water to get more information, Draco's ancestors literally crying out to him as he rejects his past and runs away towards something new (brilliant, this scene was brilliant), Hermione discovering murdered Order members at a safe house, and some other scenes that I wont' mention because they spoil the plot. The story itself deals with freedom and waning idealism, being worn down by time and life experiences (hence the name and the theme), living life on your own terms, compromising, rejecting one form of freedom for a different kind of happiness. This story has two endings, and if you've read it before, you probably haven't read the alternate ending because it was just published. I don't want to spoil it, but there is a trigger warning on that last chapter. Even though I enjoyed the original ending, I personally, think the alternate ending works better because the story comes full circle and continues with the fable-like feel of Hermione's identify as a Selkie.

Where Is Thy Sting? by Anne Ammons 6K, T,

Summary: Hermione has a terminal illness, Draco is Death, personified.

My thoughts: This one shot came out of nowhere. It's MCD and HEA. So chew on that. lol Super interesting premise, I adored this story. She had me crying - of course, dealing with death - but it's also a sweet ending. The one shot deals with parental anguish, loneliness, assigned roles and what they mean, detachment from others, inevitability. It had Neil Gaiman vibes, was very romantic and slightly surreal. I loved it, one of those one shots that will stay with me for a long time.

WIPs I'm enjoying:

Sweet Disarray by Pia_Bartolini

Summary: Grief stricken after the trauma of war and failure to return her parent's memories, Hermione Granger immersed herself in a dizzying swirl of distractions. No regrets, no thinking, no pain of loss.Fate had a rather twisted sense of humor.Now she must fight a system of opaque rules and archaic prejudice while surviving NEWTS, impending motherhood, and the weight of her own grief. If only Draco Malfoy didn't keep hovering with biscuits and damnably confusing legal contracts.My thoughts so far: I've called this the unplanned pregnancy fic for those of us that don't like the unplanned pregnancy trope. This story is very personal to Pia and it shows, and that's probably why I enjoy this take on the trope - because it's not a cliche. It's based on some of the struggles and prejudice that she faced as a young mother. Aside from some of the plot twists and surprises that she's got, what I'm enjoying in particular is how she's portraying all the post-war teens in their eighth year. Some are angry, some are resentful, some are taking out their issues at the wrong places, they're all struggling for different reasons, but no one is really bad or evil. Except the people at St. Mungos. My rage knows no bounds.

The To-Do List by emilyinwonderland

Summary: Is that what frustrated her the most? That all of her other peers seemed to be in the know of something big and not-very-secret. All of them had that knowledge. For once, Hermione Granger did not have the correct answer. Hermione capped her quill, laying everything down to peer at the social experiment that would take up the next few months of her time. The parchment read: The To-Do List

Snogging

Breast fondling

Dry Humping

Fingering

Handjob

Blowjob

Receive Oral Sex

Intercourse

My thoughts so far: Kris is really coming into her own as a writer. She excels at this whole 'awkward teenage exploratory sex' thing and I shrieked at the last chapter I read, I kid you not. Looks like I'm reading mostly teen-focused stuff right now with what the rest of my post looks like lol. But while this very much has the feel of a teen movie, (there's a fun truth or dare game) it's got an awful lot of heart. Honest, sincere moments between the characters, which really elevate the story over something that could easily be cliched and tropey. Also, the hand job scene with Draco was hot and a huge cliff hanger. I'm so nervous about the blow job chapter, which I haven't gotten to yet...

Lapsarian by hellvwng

Summary: Two enemies strike a deal to turn the tide of a war and save what they each value most. The temptation of salvation draws Hermione Granger deeper and deeper into damnation, her own fall from grace, at a heavy price.

My thoughts: A Manacled AU, she's setting the stage in the beginning chapters, readers that enjoyed the Manacled 'verse will appreciate the point in time where she picks up. And although the setting is familiar, she has her own unique take on the characters, their motivations, and how they interact with others. Looking forward to reading more as the plot picks up!

#dramione #dramione fanfiction #Dramione fic #Dramione fanfic #dramione fic rec #underrated authors #dhr #dhr fic #dhr fic rec

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clockworkouroboros · 4 years

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hey this must seem like a really slime brain question, but how do you start/where do you start/where can you start reading the edas? i’ve been meaning to ask someone for a while you just seemed the least threatening

Not slime brain at all! Tbh you must have read my mind, anon, because I was just thinking about putting together a bit of a guide to the EDAs recently. I’m super excited about anyone reading these books because I do so love them, so I definitely was excited to get this ask!

As to the “where” of reading the EDAs, I’m not going to share a link to download PDFs in a post like this, but I am definitely willing to share such a link privately. While some of the books are definitely worth buying physical copies (in my opinion), it gets expensive. I mean, there are over 70 books in the series. (Especially with a lot of the really good books; I spent something like $50USD to get Interference Books I and II.) I think literally anyone on this website who talks about the EDAs has a link to PDFs, so asking literally anyone would be a safe bet. The rest of this post is going to be under a cut, because this is gonna get lengthy.

So. Reading the EDAs. There are a few questions to keep in mind: are you a completionist? Are you interested only in specific companions or specific story arcs? Do you just really want to see why everyone is talking about this Fitz dude and why he’s so in love with the Doctor? Do you just want to know which books aren’t really worth your time? Do you just want pretty Paul McGann? (which is totally valid, by the way.)

So, uh. I’m just going to go through the EDAs and make notes, which is why this is gonna get long real quick.

The Eight Doctors: I know it’s the first book in the series, but it’s more than okay to skip it. There’s basically no plot, it’s weirdly sexist, and although it introduces a companion, it fails to actually, y’know, introduce her as a character very well.

Vampire Science: Yes! Good book! Properly introduces Sam, the companion. Has a lot of things, including Eight with kittens, Eight baby-talking to bats, butterflies!, and great characters.

The Bodysnatchers: Not...that...great. If you’re a huge Litefoot stan, go for it. Otherwise, feel free to skip.

Genocide: Would recommend. The beginning of some good character development for Sam, a fairly short book, and again, interesting characters.

War of the Daleks: Well. Uh. Imagine Journey to the Centre of the TARDIS, but boring. And there’s a sleazy guy who tries to hit on the Doctor’s underage companion. And Daleks. If that’s your cup of tea, go for it.

Alien Bodies: First of all, this is a great book. Fantastic. Showing just how good experimental Doctor Who can be. It’s also the start of a very big arc that doesn’t fully resolve until The Ancestor Cell. Would recommend, and if you’re interested in the War in Heaven/Faction Paradox arc, this is your starting point! I have a physical copy of this one.

Kursaal: Unpopular opinion, but I enjoyed Kursaal. It’s not objectively great, but it’s fun. Featuring pretty Paul McGann, insulting people in Latin, and truly impressive displays of gardening. And, uh, gore. There’s some nasty gore. Not important in terms of arcs, so feel free to skip.

Option Lock: Listen, I love Justin Richards as much as the next person, but this book isn’t that great, nor is it all that important in the grand scheme of things. Not terrible, but probably not your time if you just want the highlights.

Longest Day: Okay, uh, I kind of detest this book, but it’s also the beginning of a mini arc that goes through Seeing I. All you need to know is the Doctor and Sam get separated. I wouldn’t really recommend.

Legacy of the Daleks: Not worth it.

Dreamstone Moon: A good read! One of those solid but not spectacular stories. Just good Doctor Who.

Seeing I: definitely would recommend. Featuring some much-needed Sam character development and an important thing for Eight (*cries*) that will come back in a bunch of other novels. Also refers back to some of the events of Alien Bodies. I have a physical copy of this one.

You can skip both Placebo Effect and Vanderdeken’s Children.

The Scarlet Empress: Yessss, it’s really good. Standalone and a mix of sci-fi and fantasy, plus it introduces Iris Wildthyme, who is amazing and I love her. I have a physical copy of this one.

The Janus Conjunction: Unpopular opinion, but I liked it. It’s not amazing or anything, but it’s solid sci-fi pulp. Featuring pretty Eight. And a lot of gore. It’s by Trevor Baxendale. He kind of specializes in great descriptions and lots of gore.

Beltempest: If you’re into experimental Doctor Who, try this. If not, it’s not arc-important to anything, and it’s really, really weird, so feel free to skip it. I like it, though.

The Face-Eater: Kind of gross. Not that memorable.

The Taint: This book isn’t objectively good, but it introduces a new companion, and that new companion is Fitz Kreiner, so I still have to recommend it. I just love Fitz so much. What a loser.

Demontage: A good story, and another good look at Fitz as a character! Standalone.

Revolution Man: Very important Fitz character development. And a good story. I have a physical copy of this one.

Dominion: There’s one scene that’s kind of gross, but beyond that, I believe it’s important for Sam. And it isn’t a terrible book, either.

Unnatural History: Yes. Yes yes yes. This is one of my all-time favorite Doctor Who stories. It’s important to the arc begun in Alien Bodies, so you’ll want that and Seeing I as prior reading. It’s. So good. I have a physical copy of this one.

Autumn Mist: Autumn Mist isn’t bad, but I’d say it’s skippable. Addresses some of the hanging threads in Unnatural History.

Interference (Books I and II): So uh. Interference comes in two books, both written by the same person. The story is fantastic. There’s a lot of torture, especially in the first book. Sam leaves. Fitz, uh, has some important character things. It introduces Compassion, a new companion. Resolves some of the arc begun in Alien Bodies and expands on it. I have physical copies of both books.

Most of Compassion’s novels are really good. I would feel awful about telling someone to skip The Blue Angel, The Taking of Planet 5, Frontier Worlds, Parallel 59, The Shadows of Avalon, The Fall of Yquatine, and Coldheart. Of that whole group, I’d say Parallel 59 is the most skippable? Maybe?? But the long and short of it is that all these books are really good. The Taking of Planet 5, The Shadows of Avalon, and The Fall of Yquatine are all important to the War in Heaven arc.

The Space Age and The Banquo Legacy are skippable. I know a lot of people who like the latter, though so maybe give it a try! I personally didn’t like it, but that’s only my opinion, which is very subjective!

The Ancestor Cell: Uh. Resolves the story arc that’s been going on since Alien Bodies. So if you’ve been following that arc, yeah, it’s important. Do I like the book? Well, that’s a different question. I like parts of it. It also has a few very big very important Spoiler-y things that are important to the rest of the series.

The next five books are all part of a new arc, usually called the Earth arc. The Doctor (SPOILERS, but it’s Eight, so is it really?) has amnesia, and he’s stuck on Earth. I’d say four of the five books aren’t really bad, but some are more worth reading than others. They’re all interesting in that they examine an amnesiac Doctor really well.

The Burning: skippable. I don’t remember most of the plot. I vaguely recall the Doctor being really, uh, violent? (Part of the whole amnesiac thing.)

Casualties of War: super gory. Not terrible, but not a favorite of mine. I have friends who enjoyed it, though!

The Turing Test: yes pleasereadityesit’ssogoodplease - uh. A great queer novel, actually? Featuring Eight and Alan Turing? Made me cry, but like, it’s good?? I still haven’t bought a physical copy but I’ve been meaning to.

Endgame: Terrance Dicks, who’s an old hand at Doctor Who and also wrote the first EDA, the one I said not to read? He wrote this. And it’s amazing. Pretty standard Doctor Who fare, with characters that Dicks created but only he ever used, but it’s real good. Real real good. I loved his characterization of amnesiac Eight.

Father Time: warning: I kind of hate this book. It’s in my three least-favorite EDAs. I have...a lot of issues with it. That being said, it’s apparently a fan favorite. A lot of people like Father Time, and that’s okay! It’s a highly rated EDA that I just so happen to detest! If you want to try it, go for it, just know that I personally wouldn’t recommend it.

Escape Velocity: This book ends the earth arc, brings back Fitz, and introduces the new companion, Anji. It’s also not that great of a book, but hey, it’s important because it gives a lot of background for Anji’s character that will be instrumental in her character development.

EarthWorld: a lot of these upcoming books are standalone, and a lot of them are pretty good. EarthWorld is no exception. Would recommend. Lots of great hijinks.

Vanishing Point: Not a bad book, not a favorite. I’m not recommending it, but I’m also not trying to dissuade anyone from reading it.

Eater of Wasps: Uh. As the title suggests, maybe don’t read the book if you have a bee/wasp/stinging insect phobia. No, I definitely don’t know this from personal experience. :)))))) Other than that, though, a good book.

The Year of Intelligent Tigers: Yes. 100%. Read this book. Please. You won’t regret it. Eight has a composer boyfriend named Karl, there are giant tigers, this kind of solidifies Eight/Fitz/Anji as a favorite TARDIS team for me.

I’d say that The Slow Empire and Dark Progeny are both skippable. Not that they’re bad, but they’re not on the same level as a lot of the other books being put out in the series at this time.

City of the Dead: so good. I don’t know if you’re an Eight audio fan, anon, but Lloyd Rose also wrote the audio Caerdroia, and she brings the same kind of humor to this novel. Gosh. It’s so good.

Grimm Reality: very dense, but enjoyable. It takes most people forever and a day to finish, though, just because there’s so much going on.

Adventuress of Henrietta Street: this is where the new arc begins. :) It won’t hurt you at all. :) If you’re interested in any of the Sabbath-related arcs, this is the starting point. :) There are various ending points for this arc, alternatively at Camera Obscura, Timeless, and Sometime Never.

Mad Dogs and Englishmen: ridiculous and good. If you just read Adventuress, you need a book like this. And it’s good, anyway. Talking poodles. From outer space. Standalone.

Hope: important character development for Anji!

Arachnophobia: A bit scary. Still would recommend. Standalone.

Trading Futures: it’s really telling how good the books are at this point that this is the weakest one in my opinion. I just have a chip on my shoulder about Lance Parkin EDAs, apparently. (He wrote Father Time, as well.) It’s not bad, but if there’s one in this whole sequence that I would consider skippable, it’s this one.

The Book of the Still: Yes. Please. Heck. The best description of Eight I’ve ever read, and there are a lot of good ones across the 74 or so books I’ve read featuring Eight. Also, if you’re a huge Eight/Fitz shipper, this is the book for you! I spent like $30USD on a physical copy it’s definitely worth every penny.

The Crooked World: Yes. Ridiculous and goofy and silly and also surprisingly deep. Try to imagine the Doctor and co. landing on a cartoon world, with cartoon physics. Now imagine that, but it’s got an interesting and heartfelt plot underneath the cartoon hijinks.

History 101: A good book, and important to the Sabbath arc started in Adventuress! Would rec.

Camera Obscura: Another Lloyd Rose book, one that kind of ends a large part of the Sabbath arc, and just really good. Heck. So good.

Time Zero: this one will rip your heart out in the first few pages and you’ll thank Justin Richards for it. Also begins a new arc, but of all the arcs you could read, I’d recommend this one the least. Each book after this through Timeless is part of this arc. It gets pretty depressing.

The Infinity Race: Not bad, not good. Take it or leave it.

The Domino Effect: Wouldn’t recommend. Seriously.

Reckless Engineering: Not...terrible. But depressing.

The Last Resort: Super confusing, very arc-heavy. Not that it’s bad, just that it’s not good.

Timeless: ends the arc started in Time Zero and has some good bits. Anji’s last EDA, so if you like her, I’d recommend it. Also introduces Trix, the new companion! (Sort of...)

Emotional Chemistry: If you like Fitz, read this book. There’s other plot, but a large part of it is Fitz character study. And I love it.

Sometime Never...: One of my favorite Justin Richards EDAs. Great character work. Fun story. Ends the Sabbath arc.

Halflife: If you ship Eight/Fitz, read this book. Otherwise, it’s not a bad book, but you could do better things with your time. I vaguely recall some Trix character development, but the Eight/Fitz is what really sticks with you.

The Tomorrow Windows: Douglas Adams Lite. Not as funny as Douglas Adams. Overall impression: meh.

The Sleep of Reason: Wouldn’t recommend. Trix is referred to as “the blonde bitch” 90% of the time, the Doctor and co don’t even make any appearances until nearly 100 pages in, and it’s just kind of disappointing. Martin Day, the author, has this weird fascination with mental institutions? Weird and kinda yikes.

The Deadstone Memorial: It’s Baxendale, so it’s gory. But it’s not bad! One of the better late EDAs, imo. And for the subject matter, it’s surprisingly wholesome.

To The Slaughter: Now this, this is what I’m talking about. One of my top Eight/Fitz/Trix stories, alongside Emotional Chemistry and Sometime Never. (And what the hell, Halflife. What can I say: I love Eight/Fitz.) It’s got some great Fitz characterization, I love Trix, and I love Eight. Really the half-a-brain-cell-at-best team. We stan.

The Gallifrey Chronicles: Nah. Don’t bother. Not really worth your time. Unless you want to read it and cry about the vore with me.

So there you have it! A ridiculously in-depth look at my EDAs recommendations! Uh. You can always start from the beginning, or you can go based on recommendations or what looks like it will suit your fancy, or you can pick an arc and read it through to the end. There’s really no perfect way to read them. Please, please dm me or something if you want a link to PDFs of the books, I’m happy to share it, and I hope you enjoy the EDAs!!

#asks #anon #edas #doctor who eu #eighth doctor #fitz kreiner #sam jones #compassion #anji kapoor #trix macmillan

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askdawnandvern · 5 years

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Vernon: Favorite by means o' what...like scary?

Dawn: Are those mutually exclusive?

Vernon: Well I mean, The Thing is probably my favorite movie, but it also used to terrify me as a pup.

Yuri: It still terrifies you now.

Vernon: W-Well! I mean-er...It ain't like it's got me hidin' in the closet over it or nothin'.

Yuri: Anymore...

Vernon: Shut yer muzzle! It's a scary concept alright!

Yuri: *Chuckles*

Vernon: But it's also what makes it so good too, y'know?

Dawn: i know what you mean. I feel the same way about 'IT'. Clowns terrify me to this day because of that film, but that's what also makes it so compelling.

Ada: Dat makes to of us, at least when it comes ta fearin' clowns. But my favorite movie is Snarlem's Lot. It's got vampiya's, it's got da whole bodysnatchas element to it! Talk about a good spooky flick.

Yuri: I like The Shearing. The one with the ram who goes crazy and tries to kill his whole family because the hotel they are staying in is evil.

Ada: Youse shure it ain't IT? Considerin' youse are scared o' clowns just as bad as me?

Vernon: Woooah! What!? *Laughs*

Yuri: I-I ain't scared o' clowns! You lie!

Ada: Puh-leaase! Like I don't hears you start whinin' da moment ol' Pennywolf starts dat big speech? “I'M EVERY NITEMARE YOUSE EVA HAD!” *Laughs* You tink I can't hear it, but I does every time.

Yuri: *Growls*

Wade: HA! This is priceless! We finally got you!

Trenton: Where was ol' scardy Yuri when we watched this as pups?

Xavier: Wait...wait...if I recall correctly, he was usually not 'feeling well' whenever it came on wasn't he?

Yuri: Shut up!

Vernon: By Oldwyn's great grey muzzle! Yer right! I mean granted we only watched it like....three times total growin' up, but Yuri was always gone fer it!

Yuri: Alright! Alright! So now y'all know, can we drop it?

Vernon: Hey, I ain't gonna press the issue. But, if y'all ever start pokin' and proddin' me about the thing, I'll be sure to remind y'all.

Yuri: *Growls* *Crosses Arms*

Xavier: Well, changing the subject, has anyone ever seen 'Dead of Night?”

Trenton: Is that a zombie flick?

Xavier: No, it's an old black and white film. It's a series of scary stories sort of bound together by an overarching plot thread about a man who has a reoccurring nightmare that seems to play out exactly as his day is playing out. It's old, but it's enjoyable. And I do believe it was the genesis for the 'creepy ventriloquist dummy archetype.'

Malcolm: Ugh, that puppet is creepy as heck...

Trenton: You've seen it too?

Malcolm: Heck, who dy'all think showed him that movie? My Mama was real big on showin' us the classics growin' up, and a lot of 'em stuck with me. My favorite was 'The Uninvited'.

Trenton: Another old film I ain't never heard of?

Malcolm: It's in black and white if that's what y'all are askin'.

Trenton: Pass...

Malcolm: Suit yerself, it's a great film about a gal who's drawn back to a house she grew up in only to be terrorized by the ghost of what she thinks is her childhood caretaker, but is actually....well...I'll spare y'all the spoilers.

Audrey: Oh that reminds me, A-

Dorian: Arsenic and Old Lambs?

Audrey: YES!

Dorian: Another black and white classic, and Auddey's personal favorite. Granted it's more funny than scary.

Audrey: It's still a Sam Hain movie, and it is still scary at parts! I mean, the subject matter alone...

Dorian: I ain't sayin' I don't like it. It just make me laugh more than it fills me with unease...unlike the 'Lamb in white...' *Shudders* Now that was a dark film.

Audrey: It did have a happy ending though.

Dorian: Still, the subject matter was much darker. And it had me keepin' a close eye on my relatives fearin' on of 'em was gonna kill me er' somethin'.

Audrey: Dori, you were a full adult wolf when that movie came out. Fer goodness sake, I was practically due with our first litter Iffin' I recall correctly.

Dorian: Hey, y'all can be a healthy, able-bodied adult and still get taken by surprise...

Ulric: I don't have a 'favorite' Sam Hain' movie.

Honey: Because he out and out refuses to celebrate.

Ulric: Just leaving yourself open to be possessed by a ghost or demon. I mean, you're practically inviting them in celebrating a holiday like that!

Honey: *Scoffs* Pet Semitary. It made me never, ever want to own a lizard or bird for the rest of my life. But it's an awesome flick, totally up there with the classic Dawn of the Dead.

Trenton: Now there's a classic. Stupid fellas get eatin' by zombies in gloriously gory fashion, the film series!

Qali: *Groans* Those movies always make me feel gross...I'd rather watch 'It's the great pumpkin Charlie Growl...”

Giselle: Oi! That's me favorite Sam Hain special too!

Qali: *Giggles* That's awesome!

Trenton: I ain't sayin' I don't have a soft spot fer the tame Sam Hain specials either...

Qali: Aww...it's okay Trenny. I still love you even if you like the scary violent movies. Just don't expect me not to hide under my blanket.

Trenton: Fair...

Wade: No one picked fourteen-o-eight? I mean i know we got a lot o' Steven King favorites between the bulk of us, but I mean c'mon...It's a damn masterpiece. Who woulda thought y'all could make one single hotel room so damn terrifyin'?

Vernon: It is quite a feat to write and film a story that takes place mostly in a single room.

Cameron and Clover: Hocus Pocus!

Cameron: Kinda funny. We don't have a lot of favorite movies that overlap, but apparently when it comes to Sam Hain, that's the big one for us.

Clover: I even dressed as Winifur one year while taking Dawn trick or treating, and I'd like to think I did a pretty good job.

Cameron: I'd say you are more of a Sarah...well, at least in the looks department.

Clover: Oh Cameron! Hush! *Giggles*

Nick: may as well throw my hat into the ring with 'The Nightmare Before Yule”.

Judy: Really?

Nick: Yes really? Surprised?

Judy: I just...always took you for a hack and slash mammal, like me.

Nick: While I can tolerate your taste in horror, I do enjoy a little whimsy in my seasonal flicks. And it also makes for a great transition film to the Yule holiday.

Judy: Tolerate eh? Ain't got the stomach for a good old fashioned Night'mare on elk street movie?

Nick: Oh I can tolerate it, it's just not my favorite seasonal movie.

Judy: I never expected you to be such a softy Slick.

Nick: Well, I never expected a mammal like you to be cheering on Freddy Cougar slashing up some poor buck like you were cheering for a winning team. *Chuckles*

Judy: Freddy Cougar is always on the winning team.

Val: Now that's what I'm talking about, Cougar, Dawn of the Dead. I love me a splatter fest!

Kodi: Micheal Mewyers too! Oh and Jason! And we can't forget about Jigstag!

Val: Heh, that's my guy.

#Zootopia #askdawnandvern #ask blog #Assistant Mayor Bellwether #dawn bellwether #judy hopps #Nick Wilde #fan character #zoosona #wastedtimeee

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gingerling · 5 years

Text

JUST ANOTHER GANGSTER

THEY PAINT THE PAVEMENT WITH OUR BLOOD AND CALL IT JUSTICE. THEY CALL ME SLURS AS IF IT WAS MY OWN NAME. THEY GUN US DOWN BECAUSE IT'S LAW. AND THEY TAKE OUR RIGHTS TO FUND THEIR PRIVILEGE. OH AMERICA! YOU LEAVE THESE STREETS IN SIN TO FEED YOUR STARVED STAR-SPANGLED STOMACH WITH US MELANIN MARTYRS. ALL WE CAN ASK IS: WHERE IS THE LAND OF THE FREE?

your justice is just another word for murder. but i'm just another gangster to you, eh? the type of boys to slang cocaine in the hollow jowls of alleyways, slippin' crystal rocks to junkies, tote guns through the loops of our pants, treat the peaceful streets like a battlefield—yet a another war we weren't drafted for by the wrinkled hand of our dear uncle sam: shooting whoever's dressed blood-red and veined-blue, except the white that bleached out our culture.

we're the type of boys to sag the jaws of their pants, wrap their black heads in the embrace of a durag, slur their words and drip their tongues inside the sea of african-vernacular and waves of cusses, and who worship the words of an unraveling madman instead of a passionate poet on the radio.

you called it: rap. i called it: poetry. you called: violence. i called it: news. you called it: trash. i called it: art. you called it: the problem of america. i called it: this is america.

but i guess it doesn't matter since i'm just another gangster to you, eh? like that black boy you shot in the convenience store on that monday night? what a thug he was! slithering his dark-chocolate hands onto that milk-chocolate bar, and inside the maw of his baggy coat pockets. he was committing a crime, you say? he was a young boy. a tired boy. a hungry boy. a thieving boy. a black boy. a negro boy. you just couldn't wait till he turned around, your milk-ivory hands caressing, itching to pull the black trigger on the poor nigger.

like a young buck, frightened and scared, he ran. and you could've grabbed him by the hand, he was there, in your grasp, you could tell him to put it back—but that would've been too good for a black boy him. a thief like him. a pickpocket like him. boys like him never learn you said. that's why you had to pull the trigger. the steel claws of your bullet ripped through my brother like a unheard crescendo, as if moses had ruptured clean through the threads of his tendons, the tongues of his tissue, and the twine of his tender flesh—splattering his beating heart on the cold isle floors, a red gory sea enveloped a boy of ten as he was declared dead and dismissed as nothing more than another criminal

"clean up on aisle 1! there's a dead boy in my store! he's sinning up these aisles with his innocence!"

"clean up on aisle 10! there's a boy crying his heart out to a world that won't listen. he's staining my tile floors with his tears!"

and on the contrary to your belief he bled red. not black. but red. i could tell that you were surprised—from the warmth of his pure blood poisoning your peach-palmed hands. he bled scarlet-red, ruby-red, crimson-red, rose-petal red. it was as if you were surprised his blood was the color of yours. something living and human. but he's just dead and doe-eyed now. nothing more than just a dead black boy to mark off your check-list—just so you could feed your fallen melody with his heartbeat as your drum.

i called this: murder. you called this: justice. i called this: pain. you called this: beauty. I called this: death. you called this: art.

but i'm just another gangster to you, eh? and i find it funny. my attire, my clothes, you deemed ghetto, and uncolonialized, and uncivilized—fits those cotton-fed kids so well. what a style they say! they're making such a statement! it suits them so well! can't you see? how those cornrows crown their aristocratic-kingly heads so prettily? how those braids—the same braids they cut off my sister's skull—look so cute on little becky and her friends? it's trend! it's a fashion, haven't you heard? the fashion—fashioned from their lack of compassion for the boys and girls in the ghettos who die wearing the same thing sends a certain passion in my throat, and keeps on thrashing, till i can't speak no more—

the buried poet beneath my lungs and the passage of my ribs begins to scream—

EVERYBODY WANTS: to be black. EVERYBODY WANTS: to see black. EVERYBODY WANTS: to act black. BUT DON'T NOBODY WANT: to be black.

EVERYBODY WANTS: the power to say 'nigga' but as soon a cop pulls the trigger, they scatter! as they all watch a black man's blood spatter—seeping onto the floor, no one keeps score, as nobody says anything any more. always. they keep their silence. as nobody wants a black man's violence.

BUT EVERYBODY WANTS: to speak black. EVERYBODY WANTS: to see black. EVERYBODY WANTS: to act black. EVERYBODY WANTS: to move black. BUT DON'T NOBODY WANTS: to be black.

EVERYBODY WANTS: the chocolate complexion, the flesh of confection, fetishized in all ivory directions, but they pull off the brown when they go outta town, cause nobody wants to get pulled over for a beat-down, yet you dare wear my color as your gown. as nobody wants to carry my fate—as nobody want's to carry ebony's burdening weight.

SO PUT ON YOUR COSTUME AND WEAR THE WHIPPED FLESH OF A SLAVE! HIS VEINS AS YOUR SLEEVES! HIS PAINED LEGS OVER YOUR PANTS BUCKLE! HIS INSIDES AS A DECOR AND HIS SOUL AS YOUR CROWN—AS I WATCH IT ALL GO DOWN!

EVERYBODY WANTS: to dance like negros feet, but they don't know the rhythm of defeat, they don't hear black thunder recoiling against the streets, that's why their legs struggle against the roaring beat, their fingers wriggle like rancid meat, their torso's harden like expired sweets, their feet falter as if swimming in concrete, everybody wants to mimic negro's tone but they don't know words that come from bones, and since they don't have a culture of their own, they'd rather wear mine over their rusted throne.

BUT EVERYBODY WANTS: to be black. EVERYBODY WANTS: to feel black. EVERYBODY WANTS: to act black. EVERYBODY WANTS: to move black. BUT DON'T NOBODY WANTS: to be black.

AND YOU'RE WELCOMED TO BE BLACK AS LONG AS YOUR READY: to seethe black, as long as you're ready to rage black, as long as you're ready to fear black, as long as you're ready to hold back, as long as you're ready to cry black, as long as you're ready to fight black, as long as you're ready to die black

OR DO YOU PREFER TO GO BACK? as lightness never fades—but darkness never cracks

but i imagine i'm still another gangster to you, eh? the type of boys who're violent by nature, ruled by the laws of the streets and savagery—the type of boys who destroy things until there's nothing left, the type of boys to leave destruction in their wake with the talk of retribution in their mouths. and if i am a force of nature, i imagine myself to be a storm. a storm with tempest for teeth, with fingers wreaking havoc like heaven's wrath. a storm louder than a heartbeat rattling against zeus' skull, louder than thunder clamoring in the awning sky—a storm that captured calm and put it to death because a storm lives once more. but boys like me aren't storms, i suppose. boys like me are nothing more than a dark reckoning of sudden executions and false accusations

and i guess you're right. i am nothing more than a gangster. i am nothing more than a gangster with gangly black arms. i am nothing more than a hoodlum with hooded-eyes and hungry heart craving true justice. i am nothing more a ruffian with rough earth for flesh. i am nothing more than a thug with thick skin and thin vows. i am nothing than what you paint me to be. so i guess i am nothing more than a fallen poet who bleeds sickly sweet sonnets, burning ballads, empty elegies, weathered worthless words, gospels of vicious verses, lying lines of lyrics, and unholy ominous odes—as i am nothing more than a pile of bare blood and bones

as i ask myself was it worth speaking to you as you pulled the trigger—a bullet right in my back stopping me cold in my tracks—(i forgot i had stolen something as well)—lying in the puddle of my blood i say your wrong. i am now nothing more than a statistic. a dead boy. a black boy. a dead boy. a black boy. a dead boy. a black boy. a dead boy. a black boy. it all adds up the same. it all ends leads up to the same: a dead black boy.

but tell me was it out of wickedness or weakness that you killed me? tally up your numbers, and tell me, how many of us are dead? is it the birth of a nation that sets the land and boys like me free? am i just another melanin martyr with darkness in my skin but with dying light in my soul? please tell me as the streams of blood is reaching my throat, making it hard to speak—

i know you feel me staring as i watch you file out the police report: a failed robbery (a failed boy, a failed system, a failed child, a failed future)—you forgot to fill out those white lines and pages of blank paper; the bleak future of our america. i hope that you'll tell them how i screamed for you to stop and how your bullets pulled me apart—

but i guess it doesn't really matter in the end because i'm just another gangster to you, huh?

~art~

"in another life your death had mattered. although i can't promise to give you justice i can try to make your death an art."

(6)

#poetry #prose #poem #poetic #blacklivesmatter #poc #thisisamerica #alliteration #repitition

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pushspacetocontinue · 6 years

Text

Themes and Preferences Questionnaire

Just some interesting questions I guess. Took me a wile to think about it.

what types of genres do you gravitate towards ?

When it comes to roleplaying, I like action, comedy and I like to focus on the character development and interactions a lot. A big issue of mine is that I don’t really have ‘favourites’ if that makes sense. My mother and I are both people who find it difficult to have favourites with literally anything.

That said, I do find myself drawn to urban fantasy, where modern life and supernatural elements meld together. I’m writing a novel on that at the moment (well, editing now, it’s taking me flipping ages...) I do like slice of life mixed in with other stuff as well.

what types of genres do you gravitate away from ?

Stuff that’s overly gory or violent. Like, there’s having the right amount, and then there’s just trying too hard. I don’t really know what that would fall under. I also tend to fall away from romance, preferring friendship stories than anything else. I don’t mind romance, just as long as it’s not the main focus and takes away from the main plots, or is forced.

Even though my Mum likes them a lot, I also dislike period dramas. You won’t catch me trying to write or roleplay a period of history like the Middle Ages without magic and mysteries.

what types of characters do you most often play / enjoy ?

I’ve tried to roleplay other characters on here, but they’ve never stuck. I’ve always stuck to adults and OCs more often than not. I’ve ended up going for the underdogs and the nice characters. Russell is a bit of a mix of both, same for my neurotic hotel clerke, Alan. I am very tempted to play Sean Hampton, a canon character who has the whole ‘dark past but still a good man’ trope.

I do tend to play good-aligned characters more than anything else.

what types of characters do you seldom play ?

I find it very hard to play evil characters. I admit, even in games, I’ve found it hard to take evil routes or even use mean dialogue options. I know, it’s pathetic.

I’m also afraid to pay canon characters. I wish I could, I just get scared of how I’d portray them. I would love them to get right, but to me, it never seems like they would be.

Also, child muses. I find it hard writing kids. I just find it so awkward. The only exception being for drabbles and for prompts that I’ve occasionally reblogged.

any pairing tropes you particularly enjoy ?

It’s cliché, but I love the whole ‘grumpy person meets a ray of sunshine’. I mean, heck, in a non-romantic sense, it works for Susan Ashworth and Mitzi in The Cat Lady.

I also like pairings where they have different styles, like a goth going out with a preppy person.

Love and respect too, none of this ‘marriage will end your life’ bullshit.

And prank wars. I love prank wars. As long as they’re harmless.

any platonic tropes you particularly enjoy ?

I just love friendship where everyone supports each other. I’ve got a lot of that going on in my novel, and I have a lot of that going on with my roleplaying (like with Russell and Aldous, and definitely him and Pari.)

I love seeing friendships so much, even more than romance. Admittedly, I have a guilty pleasure for one friend acting as the big brother or the team dad. I also like intergenerational friendships a lot. I feel like the friends in question can learn a lot from them.

I also like the whole Morality Pet trope (the daughters that Gru adopts in Despicable Me are an example). Russell plays that trope pretty well, judging from interactions I’ve had.

any antagonistic tropes you particularly enjoy ?

I like a good argument sometimes, and sometimes a good round of fisticuffs. Sometimes I like people being passive aggressive or getting back at each other through non-traditional means (e.g. Russell glitter bombing his neighbour for example.)

I also like internal conflicts too, battling your inner demons, villains wondering if they are going too far and questioning their motives, heroes wondering if their method is too extreme and if they really are doing the right thing.

Tense stand-offs are also great too. Banter is optional.

what are your preferred thread types ?

I’m a single Para or a multi-para depending on how the thread goes. I usually just match length with whoever I’m roleplaying with. I save the one-liners for dash commentary or more humorous posts.

what are your favourite types of interactions ?

I like interactions where characters have a chance to develop themselves or the other person they’re interacting with further. I also like it when characters get comfortable enough to reveal something about themselves that they might have been hesitant to show before.

I like building up of relationships and trust and other such things, just as much as I love to see characters develop, mature, and overcome their problems. I also ones that show rivalries and other such different types of relationships.

what’s on your wishlist ? what sorts of threads / plots / relationships are you craving right now ?

In the main timeline, now that he’s nearly reached a year of sobriety, I definitely want Russell to get the chance to seek mental help with a proper therapist who can help him. As mentioned before, he has undiagnosed depression, which has also suppressed some of his true personality.

I want him to discuss the awful time he had with Hendrik in full, and come to terms with the complicated feelings he has on the matter. The same goes for his mother. He’s finally realising that her behaviour with him or his brothers wasn’t normal at all.

Also, just AUs. I want to do more of him as Luna Moth, as a Pokémon Trainer, as a Skyrim character etc etc. I would honestly love to do that so much.

Tagged by: @donnez-moi-vos-vivres (Thank you so much, friend)

Tagging: @blue-haired-tales @icangiveyouanything @battlewitted @closeknithearts @scngsavior @madnessismycupoftea @memoiresdouloureux @klein-klaus @askborrowermedic @more-gun @zehypocriticaloath @talariis @murkoffjanitor And anyone else who sees this and would like to do it.

#ooc #please #no one feel pressured or feel bad if they don't feel up to this #I know it's long #And the questions can take time to think about #thank you again for tagging me #I appreciate it

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girlygameofthrones · 7 years

Text

The Game of Thrones Fanfiction Nobody Asked For

Fandom: Game of Thrones

Pairing: Eventually it will be Roose x Reader

Warning: None for now...except maybe foolishness

Summary: You are completely in love with this wonderful new HBO show Game of Thrones. You’ve read all the fanfiction and know exactly how they should go, but when you find yourself in Game of Thrones, you find out that being the “Original Character” isn’t exactly how you thought it would go. Story takes place before Season 3 was released, so Reader only knows Seasons 1 & 2.

Author’s Note: Okay guys, this shameful idea popped in my head probably at some ungodly hour of the morning. It’s totally stupid, and I apologize in advance for it.

Word Count: 2900

You adored this new show on HBO, Game of Thrones. You’d never seen anything like it before. It was dark, it was sexy, it was gritty, and the costumes were absolutely gorgeous. So far you had both laughed and cried, cheered and booed, and you’d even taken your socks off and thrown them at your television. The first season sucked you in, and the second season made sure you stayed there. Now that the third season was rapidly approaching, you could barely handle your excitement. By far, Game of Thrones was your new favorite show.

To quench your thirst of the show, while you waited for season three, you busied yourself by reading fanfictions. You generally kept these hidden, reading them on your phone, glancing around to make sure no one knew what you were reading. You had ships for everyone, and many of the boys you secretly shipped with yourself. To put it lightly, you were completely obsessed with it.

So the day you woke up in a strange new world, dressed up in a funny gown that looked like it was made from the same material as a potato sack, your immediate thought was: “I’m in Game of Thrones!”

As much as you wished it, you knew it couldn’t possibly be true. It was just a television show, and girls in real life weren’t like the OCs you found in fanfiction. You had school, homework to work on. You were finishing up your senior year in high school. Clearly you were dreaming, probably having a vivid one thanks to all the extra Mountain Dew you chugged before going to bed.

But it was so real!

“The Starks are requesting these men fight for them.”

“The Lannister forces left the battle, completely defeated. The Young Wolf had them on the run with their tails between their legs.”

You sat up, noticing you were in a lumpy bed. You took a look around, seeing dusty stone walls and flickering candles around you. Everything was so clear to you; you couldn’t possibly be sleeping. As if to prove this to you, when you put your feet down on the stone floor, you yelped at the icy cold stone. Yep, for some reason you were in a castle. For some reason you were dressed up in a hideous potato sack dress.

And for some reason, you were inside Game of Thrones.

Your first reaction was to grab your face and panic. What would you parents say? Game of Thrones was a terribly brutal show! It was gory and violent yet sexy in certain scenes. People died left and right in it! Was this really the sort of world you wanted to be in? Watching it was one thing, but living in it? How long would you last? What would happen when you breathed too heavily on Joffrey or trodded on the Mountain’s foot, and they retaliated by killing you?

But then (you were ashamed to think it) you thought of all your favorites. There was Robb Stark, Ned Stark’s eldest and very handsome son. After him was Jon Snow, the shy sweet virgin character up at the wall. He got extra woobie points for being a bastard. You wanted to like Jaime Lannister, as he was undeniably handsome, but he was an asshole who was sleeping with his sister. Oh, but there was Tyrion! You never thought you’d find a dwarf so charming. And that was just the boys! What of the girls? Daenerys Targaryen, the Mother of Dragons! Or there was Arya, a tiny badass that stuck out in your mind. Even Sansa, who you didn’t like first season, was growing on you as she handled captivity in her subtle way.

But the question really was, where were you now? Winterfell? Would you see the Starks come out and would they greet you? You’d heard them refer to Robb as the Young Wolf, so this had to have been past season one at least. You knew you weren’t at the Wall. Girls couldn’t go there anyways (though they always seemed to find their way there in the stories) and judging by the dusty room you were in, it wasn’t King’s Landing.

Maybe you were with the Doth Wraki?

But Doth Wraki didn’t have castles. They moved around and stayed in tents. As you pondered for a moment where you had found yourself (you felt ashamed in the back of your mind for enjoying this instead of panicking) the door to your room opened and in came two grubby looking men.

And grubby was an understatement! You wrinkled your nose as a certain stench wafted in with them. Were they servants? The two of them were unkempt and wore widow peaked skullcaps that hung down their bony faces. As you looked closer, you realized they were wearing jackets made from the same material as your potato dress.

“Sister,” one said with a thick accent. “You’re not even dressed! Father is waiting for you!”

Your jaw dropped open.

“Um, excuse me, but what?” You said, gaping like a fish.

“Come on,” the other man said. “Out of bed you! You gotta get prettied up! The Lord’s comin’ by to choose himself a wife!”

What lord? Maybe it was Robb? Your heart sank; he’d married that nurse girl, Talisa, at the end of season two. She was alright, but you still liked fantasizing about him. What other lords were there? Then again, this was like a crazy fanfiction, so maybe Robb hadn’t married her…

“Uh, well, if I’m going to get ready to meet a possible future husband, shouldn’t I at least wear something nicer than this?” You fingered the fraying gown, several loose threads poking out here and there.

The men, who apparently in this world were your brothers, blinked a few times.

“Are you ill, sister?” One asked. They looked kind of familiar, but you couldn’t put your finger on it. You’d seen them in the show, but they hadn’t made a lasting impression on you.

“No, I don’t think so,” You said confusedly. “Really though, I must have something nicer in my closet…”

“That’s what you always wear,” your new brother said. “Nicer clothes? Really, Father has other matters he needs to take care of with the family’s gold. You can’t expect nice clothing. Where do you think we are? In King’s Landing?”

Your head spun. Maybe you were in a poor family. But that didn’t make sense either, because you were being lined up for a lord to choose a bride. You were part of some noble house… You mentally pouted, thinking of all the gorgeous dressed and costumes they had on the show, and you were stuck in this horrible thing!

“Silly me,” You said broodily. You hopped up though and went over to the foggy mirror to fix up your hair. You were put off when your other brother handed you a brown skull cap just like his. “What’s this?”

“Your cap,” he said. “For your hair.”

Well, if there was any way to make the outfit that much uglier, they had found it. They were trying to be helpful, you thought. You took it from him and placed it over your hair, the sight of it making you choke up with disappointment. If you were going to be the OC in a fanfiction, why couldn’t you dress like Daenerys, or hell, even Cersei?

“Come on now, they’re all waiting for you,” your brother said to you and took your hand. He didn’t wait for you to say anything as he led you out the door.

The rest of the castle was just as utterly depressing as the room you woke up in. Whoever owned it seemed to be cutting back on candles. There was a thick layer of dust that wafted around no matter where you went. There were a few fireplaces, but most didn’t have fires in them, giving the fortress a constant chill, and the windows, when you found them, were foggy and yellowing. You knew deep down you weren’t in Winterfell, but this was definite proof you weren’t. Winterfell was never as fancy as the Capital, but it at least had its own kind of charm. This place had nothing of the sort.

You were brought inside a room with one long table at the front and several girls (your sisters? But there were so many of them!) standing in a row. They all wore various styles of the potato sack dress and those awful caps. There had to have been twelve of them though. Plus there were your two brothers. Each girl had her eyes downcast.

“Father, we present to you Y/N,” one of your brothers announced.

You looked at the front table, which had a large chair, and your heart sank. It appeared that all the kingdom’s money went into buying this chair your father sat on. And what an awful father he was!

You knew who he was, even though he hadn’t played much of a role so far in the show. Walder Frey, Lord of the Twins, was one of Catelyn Stark’s father’s bannermen. You remembered his big scene, the one where he bragged to Cat about being married to a fifteen year old. You had gagged when you saw it. That’s when you saw the mousy teen sitting beside him, eyes darting around nervously. Somehow in real life he was even more repulsing than he’d been on your living room television.

All the families in Westeros to be adopted into, you thought bitterly, and I’m a stinky Frey!

Walder Frey studied the group of daughters and wrinkled his nose. “Well, you’re certainly an ugly lot. It’s a good thing you were born into this family. If not, what man would ever take you?” His mean eyes scanned the room, jowls quivering, his yellow teeth peeking out from his thin lips. When he saw you, his eyebrows rose a hair. “What’s this? I don’t remember having a daughter this pretty! What was your name again?”

You couldn’t believe your ears. Who forgot they had a daughter? He couldn’t even remember your name!

“Father, that’s Y/N,” one of the brothers that retrieved you said. “You remember, right?”

Walder settled back in his chair and chewed his lip a moment. “Hmm, well then, I guess the whole lot of you isn’t so ugly after all. Maybe one of you will impress the lord and you’ll become a real lady.”

What lord was even coming?

“Catelyn Stark said her son Robb, the King in the North,” (he tacked on the extra title mockingly) “would marry one of you.”

Your eyes widened, and you bit your lip, holding back the squeal. You knew in the show that Robb didn’t marry one of the Freys, but maybe if he came, maybe if he saw you...maybe it would be love at first sight! Wouldn’t that be wonderful? You could be lady of Winterfell! You could be a queen, the Queen in the North! You chewed your lip as your eyes wandered, completely lost in lalaland.

“Unfortunately for you, King Robb is too important to keep his promises.” He made a hideous sound. “When you’re king, commitment clearly isn’t honored!”

Your face fell, the fantasy being knocked right out of you. Some fanfiction this was. Robb was doing exactly what he did in the show...marrying another girl. And why wouldn’t he? Talisa was pretty and kind and talented. He’d probably heard about the weathered Frey girls. As disappointed as you were, you still hoped the best for Robb. He and Talisa were cute together after all.

Again, though, you wondered: Which Lord was coming here to find a new bride?

“But one of you at least will marry the second greatest lord of the North,” Walder went on. “Lord Bolton will be arriving soon, and one of you lucky girls will be going with him.”

All your sisters refused to make eye contact, but as for you, you looked up and met Walder’s eyes. Who was Lord Bolton again? A northerner? Did he have many scenes? You wished more than anything you could google House Bolton on your phone. You couldn’t even remember what sigil they had. Was this lord old, young, handsome, cruel? Well, if he was a Northerner, that meant he was one of Robb’s bannermen.

And apart from Tyrion down south, everyone knew the Northerners were the good guys, so if you were picked, you’d be fine, right?

Just then a Frey servant came inside to tell Lord Frey that Lord Bolton had arrived. Your ears perked up. You hoped he was handsome and young like Robb was.

“Peh, bring him in,” Walder said carelessly.

The doors opened and you finally caught sight of your potential husband.

And you were not impressed.

Actually, it wasn’t that you were unimpressed, it was just Lord Bolton wasn’t the idea you had in mind. He certainly wasn’t unattractive, but he wasn’t young, strong, handsome like Robb. He was slender, definitely older, and had short greying hair. What got your attention were his cold eyes. Were they cold, though? You couldn’t tell. You could read him just as well as you could read a book written in Mandarin. Lord Bolton dressed exclusively in black, and his wardrobe made him look almost sinister.

“Welcome to the Twins, my lord,” one of your brothers said pleasantly, nodding his head.

Lord Bolton’s eyes scanned the line of your sisters, including you. You weren’t sure if you wanted to be chosen by him or not. This was not the fanfiction you had in mind, but you also didn’t want to spend any more time with the Freys. As you thought about what you really wanted, Lord Bolton gave a curt nod to Walder and then went back to studying you. None of your sisters could make eye contact with him, but as for you, you made sure to keep your head high, curiosity bubbling up inside you.

“As you can tell there’s plenty to choose from,” came Walder’s cruel voice. “Pick whichever. Pick two of if you’d like. I can’t find husbands for all of them. One can be your wife, the other a whore for all I care.”

Your cheeks burned, and before you could really think about what you were doing, you took a step forward and snapped at the old lord: “Are you freaking kidding me? What an awful thing to say! They’re your daughters, not some whores to do whatever you please with!”

At first Walder visibly stiffened, saggy chin shaking as he took in what you’d just said. Lord Bolton’s eyebrows raised just a fraction as he watched the scene before him the way you sometimes watched television. Was he amused by your outburst or annoyed? On top of that, your sisters heads dropped down even further, like they wanted desperately to hide from Walder’s wrath. You stood your ground though, fed up and unwilling to back down. After a tense moment, Walder choked on a bit of laughter.

“Well isn’t she feisty,” he said to Lord Bolton. “Couldn’t even remember her name this morning. Come to think of it...can’t even recall who her mother was. Some spirited whore, probably.”

Lord Bolton ended up smiling, which made your blood boil. “Yes, yes, I know a little about spirited children.”

You were a little taken aback by the Lord’s cold, smooth voice. It was the kind you would have fangirled over in any other circumstance.

Lord Frey grumbled something before taking a big swig of his wine. He grinned, the purple drink having stained his already yellow mouth. “Well, see anything you like? Like I said, take whichever one you’d like!”

“It’s a difficult decision, my lord,” Lord Bolton said casually. He showed absolutely no interest in any of the girls, except for you, but it wasn’t the kind of interest that said he wanted to marry you. “Perhaps I should think on it, get a feel for your daughters before making my decision. It won’t be easy becoming a Bolton.”

“No, that reputation of yours has stuck,” Walder grumbled. He waved a hand dismissively. “Fine. Stay here a night or two. Keep an eye on them and marry the one you want. I can wait a few days.” He turned to your brothers first. “Find a room, for Lord Bolton.” Then he snapped at his daughters. “And you lot, out! Out of here now!”

Everyone stumbled and ran into each other in an attempt to get out all at once. You didn’t budge, catching the gaze of Lord Bolton. You hoped to be able to read something of his expression this time but still you weren’t able. Then one of your sisters grabbed your arm, and before you knew it, you were being dragged out of the room with the rest of them. The whole time your head spun as you made sense of your options and what you wanted to happen.

On one hand, compared to Robb, Lord Bolton was a major disappointment. Not that he was bad looking, but he just wasn’t Robb. Your fantasy was crashing down around you.

But on the other hand...anything was better than the Freys.

So you crossed your fingers, hoping that out of the Freys, Lord Bolton would choose you to marry.

#weird fanfiction #game of thrones fanfiction #game of thrones imagine #game of thrones imagines #got imagines #roose x reader #eventually #i shouldn't be allowed to write #humor me #utter foolishness

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walgie · 5 years

Text

Is Television Ready for Angry Women?

... but it’s only now, right now, that the stories she’s really interested in are the stories that Hollywood wants to tell... Noxon isn’t doing anything different now than she’s done her whole career. “But the culture caught up with her.”

... Noxon herself is the first to admin that she’s something of an oddity. Tiny, blond, with pink lowlights and the maternal supportive air of a guidance counselor, she’s drawn to gory, violent tales of self-harm, addiction, darkness. Joss Whedon, the creator of the cult hit Buffy The Vampire Slayer - which Noxon worked on as a writer and producer for six seasons, until the series’ finale in 2003 - dubbed her the “chains-and-pain gal”.

... If a singular thread runs through Noxon’s work, it’s the assertion that women can be just as complex as men - that they can make catastrophic decisions, put themselves in danger, damage others, and (more frequently) damage themselves... The past few years have seen more and more female creators bringing complex women to the small screen. Angry women are at a premium now, their darkest, most humiliating moments having been so publicly unearthed and exposed in one form or another. There’s just so much to be angry about.

... Then, in 1997, when Noxon was 32, Joss Whedon hired her to write for Season 2 of Buffy The Vampire Slayer.

Buffy was where Noxon found her voice. The show... was so unusual, so groundbreaking, that 15 years after it went off the air, scholars are still debating its significance. The most subversive thing about it was its very concept: that a blond cheerleader could also be the only person capable of saving the world.

“We knew we were getting away with something,” Noxon says. Whedon, Buffy’s creator, had the Wesleyan street cred to enchant the WB network, which was looking for more auteur-driven stories. Still, it was surprising how efficiently he was able to turn a teenage genre series into a smart, provocative story about female power.

For Buffy’s sixth season, Noxon was promoted to executive producer. The show became bleaker, exploring the aftermath of Buffy’s death and her deep unhappiness that her friends used magic to resurrect her. Feeling adrift and depressed, she engages in risky, self-destructive behavior. Many fans, and even Sarah Michelle Gellar—who starred as Buffy—rejected the departure from the breezier mood of past seasons.

But in the years since the season aired, it’s been reassessed. Some critics have compared the primary villains—three isolated nerds who embark on a mission to destroy Buffy—to early avatars of today’s internet trolls. Buffy’s own struggles preceded the darker stories about women that have emerged in recent years, in shows including Jessica Jones...

Until Noxon left Buffy, a show she describes as “this little enclave of feminist thought and respect for female voices,” she didn’t fully realize how male-dominated the TV industry was...

... in 2009, Noxon bounced between a handful of TV series and films. It was around this time that something began to change for women on television. Homeland, which stars Claire Danes as a CIA operative with bipolar disorder, premiered in 2011. Lena Dunham’s Girls debuted on HBO in 2012. Then came Netflix’s Orange Is the New Black, a dramedy set in a women’s prison, which was created by Jenji Kohan, who happens to be married to Noxon’s brother. In Orange, Kohan used the story of a wealthy white woman sent to prison as the deal sweetener (in an NPR interview she described it as a “Trojan horse”) for the real focus of her show: women on the margins of society, particularly women of color.

Noxon also credits Kohan’s Showtime series, Weeds (2005–12), which starred Mary-Louise Parker as a single mother who becomes a pot dealer, as a show that kicked doors down for female protagonists. “When I had written 10 or 11 pilots and couldn’t get anything made, I would remember that Weeds was [Kohan’s] 13th,” she says. “I would think, Thirteen, man. At least get to 13 before you give up.”

... “Movies are plot-driven; TV, like books, is character-driven,” Blum says. As soon as Noxon proposed making Sharp Objects into a TV show, “it was like the shackles on the storytelling fell off.”

https://www.theatlantic.com/magazine/archive/2018/06/marti-noxon/559115/

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