He's really sick.

Based on this hard-hitting scene in Spy Kids 2

God I love that movie.

rtd's finales are badly stacked conflicts that are suddenly solved by deus ex machina (but that doesn't matter bc it's filled with genuinely beautiful & heartwrenching character writing that will make you forget about everything) and moffat's finales are convoluted nonsense that make you confused as to what the fuck you're even watching. technically neither of these are good but between these two poisons i will pick the former every time

more whinging bc i got negative hours of sleep last night and i need to stay awake somehow lol

cw: discussions of misogyny + abuse

god the more i think abt it the more exhausted i get by the gender politics of ted lasso.

like god i do genuinely think that rebecca's arc in s1 is one of the best depictions of a mean + cruel woman ive ever seen on TV specifically bc it manages to thread the needle so well? like they never tilt her balance too much and doom her to being either totally fucked up + evil OR totally soft and sweet and harmless. and ted's 'divorce makes u crazy' response to her apology STILL makes me crazy wrt the sheer. understanding and empathy there, and she's just. given so much more depth than ive come to expect, especially for an ensemble cast sitcom w a (then) p short run time.

but my fucking god. we literally don't learn a fucking thing about michelle. im pretty sure the one (1) concrete thing we know about her comes in the fucking finale, and it's that she's a teacher for... something. the two most important people in ted's life and we don't know anything abt them! they're literally just empty symbols representing the importance of Family™, and that vacancy does nothing but weigh ted's storyline down!

like, i liked michelle's episode/storyline in s1, bc the blinding novelty of a woman instigating a divorce not being the Actual Devil, as well as a just. generally very empathetic + nuanced take on how divorce shakes out between two ppl who really care for each other, was so 'WAIT TV CAN DO THIS??' that i felt satisfied with that being Her Arc™. divorce happens, life happens, people fall out of love, and it hurts but its ultimately okay. the show, at the time, was ultimately abt a football club and how caring abt that football club helped everyone around it.

but then the show sticks around, and her continued absence just... raises a lot of questions? how did the conversation abt ted going overseas happen? what conversations did they have abt henry? how long term was it intended to be? did money really not factor into it all? like it's one thing for a character's backstory to be vague when it's not really the focus of attention (s1 was ultimately rebecca's story before anyone else's), but when it's the load bearing stone of their '''''''arc''''''' in s3...????

like. god. and then it fucking infects every other woman on the show!

sassy + nora? well sure we'll give you a softball - you can have one (1) scene where a woman is able to resolutely and firmly reject a man asking her out without immediately being seen as cruel or gameplayey (not that the audience will see it that way! she's already a lecherous temptress for them!), but neither of them will ever be able to speak to rebecca onscreen again, even after the heart-wrenching scenes in s1 CLEARLY establishing them as a beating heart of rebecca's arc.

shandy? nope, don't even think abt her motivations/drives, just forget her. simi? LMAOOO imagine a black woman getting a personality beyond righteous anger. jack? three-four episodes, and we learn so little abt her that her conflict with keeley - which SHOULD'VE have been a huge emotional beat - just feels like a kick in the teeth (and while, yes, i absolutely agree that in a real world context, jack's rejection of keeley would be largely motivated by class, in Ted Lasso Land™ rebecca is just as rich - if not richer? - and we're never once encouraged to interrogate her priorities).

barbara's the one that really makes me miserable, bc i feel like on a show with less run time, she could've played REALLY well. she's a great contrast to keeley, has an amazing delivery, and the scene where keeley + her first discuss the snowglobes shows that she has the potential for some really moving vulnerability + pathos. but instead they give SO many of keeley's scenes to characters who ultimately get written out, so when barbara stays it's like... okay? sure? like, i was so stoked that barbara survived the Mass Exodus of side characters that i didn't wanna look the gift horse in the mouth but... wasn't the last thing we saw of her and keeley's relationship like. general resentment + distrust abt the shandy debacle? when did that improve? how???

i don't think i'll ever have enough mental real estate to explain how disappointed keeley + rebecca's 'arcs' in s3 made me, and at least there's the saving grace that. virtually no one other than jamie got a coherent arc this season, so at least it was on some levels an egalitarian screw up. but fuck dude. keeley was just forced to react to bad things that were happening to her, and we got to see her do her job (which, unbelievably, does actually involve things other than being an awkward manager!) precisely one (1) time.

i even like rebecca's arc on paper - i think it's really cool to see a character backslide so intensely in terms of obsessing over and struggling to come to terms w a past relationship, especially an abusive one, bc like. yeah! that shit sticks with you for longer than a season! and beyond that, seeing her regain her sense of self and what SHE actually gives a shit about was oftentimes just as sweet as s1. but her scenes were poorly connected, and she had to carry WAY too much of a burden as the Resident Speech Giver for any of her internal characterisation to make sense. like, sorry, but it's kind of hard to believe a character's Going Through It™ when they have to spent near 100% of their screen time giving Take It From Me, Kid, speeches. and then she's not even given a real opportunity TO fuck up + sabotage her relationships, even when she starts getting really weird w ted! it's all just so meaningless and like nothing that she does is ever going to matter. she never speaks to zava again, we don't get to see her interact w bex or kate, her pleas to ted get COMPLETELY shut down...

but the thing that REALLY makes me sick is this complete lack of interiority absolutely butchers the characters of jade + jane, who are otherwise RIFE with potential. like, jade is a completely unflinching, unapologetic asshole to nate + his family, and that's never interrogated. even in Sitcom Land™, it's more than reasonable to view jade's actions as racist, especially when she doesn't give the same treatment to others (at least not as i recall? honestly i usually watch the taste of athens scenes while peeking out behind my hands, so i could 100% be wrong here). and yet, suddenly, and completely inexplicably, she's charmed by nate. she wants to give him the time of day. she finds him attractive, and wants to date him, and generally take control of his life and force him into a decision that is literally the exact opposite of what he expressed wanting to do. except even that LAST thing isn't allowed to be interrogated, bc god FORBID a woman is enough of a fully realised creation to actually be culpable of the terrible shit they do!

and fucking jane??? beard's so head-over-heels for this woman that the emotional abuse + extremely controlling tendencies don't even make him bat an eye, and we don't get to know anything about her? she's literally just the suggestion of an alluring woman! good at sex! good at chess! fuck you if you wanna know more, even though the show ENDLESSLY hits you over the head with how painful their relationship is for beard - beard who is given virtually no other storyline. like, i literally can't read brendan's refusal to label jane as abusive as anything other than like. that bio-essentialism shit where ppl 'women are better than men <3' so hard that they end up genuinely and wholeheartedly arguing that someone's sex defines their morals - or worse, that their sex is a deciding factor in determining whether someone's actions are good or bad. not context, but a legitimate 'add points if woman, take away points if man' variable.

like that's so feminism 101 it's legitimately almost worse than nothing. that's like getting as far as 'hey so you know how we're all inundated with both implicit + explicit messaging abt what is Valued and Good for women vs men to-' before shoving ur earplugs in and going 'if you are oppressed by society we'll automatically stamp a 'good person' label on ur head and now we don't have to think abt any of our biases + internalised beliefs ever again <333'. the most useless and fucking pointless stand against the patriarchy ever, especially coming from the same show that ENDLESSLY slots characters into the 'loving gf/wife' archetype and then give them Literally Nothing Else. my comrades you have literally just done madonna/whore 2: oops all madonnas! this is not liberation!!!! this is a miserable cage!!!!!!!!!

im just. higgins' wife. mae. trent's daughter and anonymous 'her'. the women at the hotel and the restaurants and the firm and the fucking physios, fuck - dani's gfs! who are they? what do they want? where do they go when the camera stops rolling? can anyone hear me?? hello??? hello???? brendan hunt i am OUTSIDE YOUR HOUUUUUUSE

I asked my friend to place drivers on a political map based on vibes:

[through gritted teeth] i am so normal about this

just curious, are wren, teldryn, and miraak in a poly relationship? is it just wren and teldryn but miraak is just some guy who lives with them? or is it something else? feel free to ignore if u already answered this question

Wren and Tel are in an open relationship then marriage basically, but they don’t really have the time to actually do the open part much, and it’s ended up like “well we basically never do that but if the opportunity ever arises”.

Miraak just lives with them (because Dusk wants nothing to do with him and he has no idea where to go, plus Wren is worried he’ll just go off and die or something) and occasionally one or both of them fuck him ig lol? It’s working out so far so good for them

that damn web comic is rattling around in my brain ...

fuck offfff poor audio processing makes ppl flirting with me so stupid they'll be like hey you're pretty and I'll go ah 👍😐. or omg yeah! 🤘 or i just laugh bashfully without even knowing what they said until like a minute later. help help my default responses are making people confused and unsettled. and those are the same responses i give when ppl talk shit about me too it's not good

From @cubitodragon

I know nothing about xcom but I do love hearing all the au babble SO: how did the morning crew form in this timeline? Are animal hybrids a thing or is it more a unit/call sign reference? What brought the various teams into contact with one another? What order did egg children show up in their lives? (Do bad and forever still have dumb arguments about politics during not!date dinners?)

Hihi! Okay so I'm running with XCOM2 specifically, which is a turn based strategy game where you run a group of resistance members who live on an alien spaceship they stole, and fight against aliens who invaded earth ~20 years prior, recruiting people, making contact with other resistance cells, gathering proof of crimes against humanity, etc. For sake of the AU making sense I cut this time down to like ~10 years ago. There's the very basic premise.

Okay so question one! So we actually have a couple of answers here. The simplest is that there's a shift pattern for who is on comms and checking the airship is going the right way (and also shift sleeping as there's like 10 beds for the entire group), and they have the morning shift. Very basic. HOWEVER, at the start of the missions, Tazercraft are missing. Tubbo also doesn't go out on active combat duty, being Chief Engineer. Tazercraft used to have that job but, well, there's a reason they're both missing and the Chief Engineer no longer goes on combat missions... Tubbo was about 14 when Mike found him blowing up a Federation base via rewiring their electrics, and took him back with them. Pac and Mike took him as their joint apprentice, and he got forced into their job when they vanished. Fit and Philza both showed up a bit later. Fit and Philza knew each other before the invasion, but were split pretty soon after it began, each ending up being heavily involved in different resistance cells which later folded into the main one. Philza knew Tubbo as a kid, though lost contact a bit before the war. Fit and Phil have actually been on the ship a couple of years when shit kicks off for plot, just not quite as long as Tubbo. It's a little funny - if you need one of the five the place you need to look is the engineering quarters. At the start it's Phil dragging Fit to check up on Tubbo, once Tazercraft are back (because of course they will be eventually), it's Fit dragging Phil there on vague excuses of getting gear fixed to make puppy eyes at his crush. Either way, if its one of the five of them you need, you check engineering first. Philza's the least likely to be there, Tubbo is most likely, but even if its Tubbo sleeping in a cupboard someone will be there and will know where the others are. Forming wise... Well they just kinda stumbled together. I think you can piece it together from the above?

Haven't quite decided on hybrids and such. On the one hand, all human is more sensible. On the other hand, hybrids are fun and I'm soft for wingfic and it'd help the eggs settle in... Better. If human society is used to hybrids of some forms. They're a bit... *vague gestures* off.

At the start of everything the egg children have yet to show up at all! I am still in the process of placing them all but currently... Operation Shadow Tomb brings Chayanne and Bobby Operation Rotting Wail brings Pomme and Richarlyson Operation Pungent Father brings Trump Operation Crypt Hand beings Dapper, Ramon, and Leo Operation Dismal Paramore brings JuanaFlippa and Tallulah Operation Haunting Night brings Tilin While those words have no meaning to you, they are in order lol. There are reasons they go this order (mostly who has parents where when, but also some of them due to plot happening in specific places). All of the eggs are safe from death, you will be pleased to know. I also reserve the right to add Hope and/or A1 in, but... Well A1 would take Trump's place, who would instead have to end up with Flippa and Tallulah. Memory would take Tilin's place, who would be dropped back to with Pomme, or even back to Bobby and Chayanne. It's not really to do with their canon ages or aught (okay bar the triplets coming as a three), but yk. It's not actually until Trump/A1 that they actually have any idea what the eggs /are/, beyond slightly odd children. Their parents love them anyway.

Bad and Forever have dumb arguments about literally everything all the time, and when he's injured Bad /will/ use the fact he's one of the squad captains, and therefore writes reports, and Forever is the commander of the operation, and therefore reads reports, to demand Forever bring him snacks/attention while he's injured. It is, unfortunately, a little hard for them to get time and privacy to have not!dates. Living on a single airship with like 40-ish other people once vague background NPCs are accounted for

I've picked out characters I struggle with (Bad, Forever, etc) to have to write a lot of the in-universe documents, and the entire main plot is in-universe documents and then I flesh it out piecemeal like the one fic I did already as takes my fancy. In theory. Not much is written.

another rant because..yeah

I absolutely love the way Ava starts this season off beating herself up about the fact she trusted the wrong man and got taken advantage of. And instead of learning from that experience, the next man who offers her the opportunity to do something she takes him up no questions asked, no need to figure out who he is, where he’s from, what his motives are. I love this girl she’s so dumb ❤️

Fuck it I’m about to add historical costume consultant to my resume

matched with a guy that talks like the people who tried to groom me when i was like 13 lol

hm. okay someone said something on twitter that got me thinking. okay i am very firmly a yoohan truther supporter lover all that stuff. and i think there are many situations in which they can be and will be together in some shape or form, without kdj. coming to mind instantly are the three year gap, 1865th round, and 1863rd round. prime yoohan material. but at the same time i think these situations are sort of haunted by kdjs absence, and/or really set up to fail. yoohan are people who work well together in achieving a shared goal, for better or for worse. like with 1863 - which would have the least amount of kdj influence - they are pretty much on a path of mutual destruction, hastened by one another. all of these situations, in which theyre working together for some reason or another, it never feels like they can bridge in to anything really vulnerable, you know? i love yoohan on its own, and i do think they can get shit done on their own, but at the same time, kdj coheres them in a way i dont think they can really achieve without him being there. do these words strung together like this make any sort of sense.

50% of any fondness i have for Su She is based on that one text post that I can’t find right now about how all the cultivation world matchmakers must be losing their damn minds because none of the FUCKING sect leaders want to get married and the post goes through why all the major sect leaders aren’t looking for matches and then they’re like “they even asked Su-zongzhu but he muttered something about not wanting anybody in his house”

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