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chappellroansdreamgirl · 1 month

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officer!els<3

author's note - meow i love this woman.

content warnings - black!coded!reader ig????, fluff, els i love u ellie williams pls handcuff me to ur bed and police-brutalize me! , text msgs from reader that are very me-coded! , mostly just based off every grumpy but cool cop i've seen in media, lots of notes from me i'm going insane I NEED HER!!!!! , there's a white man in a pic i put... you have been warned, smut/suggestive shit at the end!

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- def wanted to be a cop when she was a kid and then was a total fucking juvenile as a teen. (duh!)

- always loved the police officers who barely ever gave troubled kids a hard time. (this is coming from a troubled kid. acab all the way except for u guys. well, still acab, but y'all r cool!) would refuse to talk to anyone except her favorites. i fully believe that's one of the reasons she would go into this workforce.

- when she got approved to start training to be a cop, u were home with her favorite strand of weed and she gave u a look like, "🤨🤨" , "can't be doing that no more baby, i'm gonna be a cop." , "...stfu and take the first hit before you piss me off..." , she's wearing a SHIT-eating grin before she takes it. (don't ask me how she passes her drug-tests!) (probably gets jesse to do it or someone idk maybe joel if she's lucky!) (def not joel...)

- ADDING ONTO THIS!^^ : every single time you smoke when she can't she'll look so sad or just side-eye tf out of you... "really?" , "what do you want me to do ellie..." u stopped smoking around her when she couldn't...

- this woman is so intimidating but once those cop dogs come on the scene she's so cute<3 . she's so smiley and happy they love her AND SHE LOVES THEM. she definitely sent u a picture of her with the group of the babies and was like, "can we adopt them all pls i love them ):" . you guys adopted a rescue pup shortly after...

- whenever you're doing ANYTHING EVER she flashes her badge at you and says something so loser of her , "don't make me handcuff you..." or makes finger guns with the sounds and GOD I LOVE THIS WOMAN.

- speaking of badges, she always has her badge on her. ALWAYS. it is EMBARRASSING!

- when she got her first arrest she was so happy:3 . i FEEL like she took a picture with the fucker and everything and she looked so proud of herself. "good job baby now pls get to the station before that mf breaks out of those handcuffs he looks like he's gonna murder u..."

- this is a headcannon of mine (and canon so why am i saying hc maybe it's just bcs it's more in-depth in my head.) but she loves kids and whenever she sees a younger person at the station, she makes sure that they're ok and have everything they need.

- with that being said, she HATES the teens who don't have a valid reason to be such delinquents. lovable delinquents are her soft-spot but those... THOSE ONES😧.

- definitely is a kitten-saver-cop. hates getting the call but she responds every time.

- sends u this pic anytime u say something mildly threatening to her in text msgs:

suggestive/NSFW!

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- the day she got her uniform, you wanted to jump her bones. she came back home, poor girl was so tired and all you could think about is how good she looked in that shit.

- like i said... the badge is with her at all times... maybe this is too feral but i feel like she put IT in ur mouth and took a polaroid of it after u were done eating her out or SSAAAWWWWMMMMTHHHIIIIING. (pls let me wear ur badge baby i'm on my knees BEGGING YOU!)

- definitely joked about role-playing jailer/jailed and then it wasn't a joke anymore. y'all tried it once and couldn't stop laughing.

- has definitely used her handcuffs on u or vice versa. she gets so excited when u pull that shit out.

- ggggg...g-g-gu-....gggggggggguuuunnn ki-

- definitely has fucked u in the uniform. u two probs have had a quickie in the station bathroom on multiple occasions.

bonus round - police!els edit<3 :

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urmomw4ntsme · 3 months

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4, 23, 25, 15 for the ask game <3

hiiii lilyyyy <3 ty for the ask

4. how did your elementary school teachers describe you?

ok so it depended on which teacher u asked ig? cus my language teachers adored me (😋 academic validation yes) but my p.t. teacher LITERALLY H A T E D me like from day 1 to day last she LOATHED me i have a suspicion why but forget that but my science teachers also loved me mainly cus i was good at science then 😭

15. favorite book you read as a school assignment?

okay well we never had to read books for assignments but we had library books that were switched weekly from 5th grade right? and i wud say my fav book that i read out of those was probably 'The Twins at St. Clare's' by Enid Blyton or the Secret Seven series. i love love loveddd these ones i would literally beg around asking for who had the next book in the series so that i could exchange my current book with them next week. another series i literally loved sm was the fairy chronicles by J. H. Sweet. like, r u kidding me? just look at the names of some of the books they SOUND so good

and they are kind of spiderman-esque? like, i dont remember very clearly because i was literally 10 when i was reading these but i think it was smth like there is a secret fairy society and these girls are fairies but they can't tell their parents or any normal human but they have to save the world whenever there's smth wrong it was SOOO GOODDDD. anyway i'll stop ranting about them now 😭 (also one last thing, i loved the twins at st clare's sm that i actually googled if st clare's is a real school where i can convince my parents to let me go to BECAUSE IT SOUNDED SO AWESOMEEEE AAAA)

23. strange habits?

ok so out of the habits i do know that i have, some strange ones are:

i am one of those people who will crack(?) their bones sm it will either terrify you or piss you off. not kidding. i start with my back, the typical try to bend backwards with some kind of support halfway till your back, and then i twist my upper back all the way to the left and then to the right and it literally sounds like gunshots. (i think theres sm up with that, gonna go to the doc soon) next i crack all my knuckles etc etc etc i do it with my elbows and my knees too its sooo satisfying but it drives my dad crazy aksjks

i touch my nose a lot. this is smth i have noticed recently but i feel like whenever im having a convo with someone and dont know what to say i scratch the bridge of my nose or just touch it or smth and its SO SUSPICIOUS 😭 like i feel like the person's gonna think im hiding something or lying i promise im not suspicious im just nervous or smth 😭

i......sing. like, when you're saying smth but u realise that that sentence is a song lyric too and then why would u say it normally when u cud sing it like an i-deserve-a-grammy-person? yea. that. i do that a lot 😔 do u still think im cool

25. first song you remember hearing?

i donttttt knowww i guess it would be a lullaby or a nursery rhyme? i really dont remember any songs from my childhood 😭 like i guess i remember the theme of this one cartoon i used to watch which was called 'chhoti anandi' (its so cool i still sing it sometimes) but i think i was around 8-9 when i started watching it? pretty sure i listened to more songs at that time and before that too but ig thats one of them so 💪🏽

#its goes like #chitti si pitti si chappal ke sitti si chulbul si chhori hai woh #chutki me kar deti mushkil ki chhuti smth smth smth #yaaron me mukhiya basti ki budiya baato ki hai fuljhadi #ay ay ayyyyy ay ay KUCHI KUCHI PYARI PYARI CHHOTI ANANDI #i loved her sm ur my roman empire chhotianandi #the twins at st. clare's #secret seven #the fairy chronicles #ask games #enid blyton

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softmeetscreatureplz · 1 month

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hello this is one of your mutuals! uh. not sure how i can say this but i might be angelkin also. and maybe dollkin. fairykin? i do. not know how it works. i do not know what i am. please ignore this ask if it sounds blatantly stupid

Mutual! Hello :] also no other doesn't sound stupid!!!! Dw abt it, and that's rlly freaking cool!!!! Tbh I'm not 100% sure on how it works either? But I am. Fairly sure I'm some kind of kin thing for those two things. I had a lost explaining all the terms but I can't find it lately :<, still tho that's super cool of u!!¡

The main thing for it seems to be for when ppl feel more like instead of human, theyre actually another species/thing/creature- and instead of being in that body ur inside a human body, if that helps at all.

Some stuff that tends to come with it, (though it's not like a defining 'needs to have it to be validating!!!) Is having shifts of feeling more like the different creature, like you're senses going on overdrive or instincts popping up more. Also phantom limbs, where it feels like you have the limbs ur suppost to instead. And sometimes memories of past lives? I have some for my bearkin, but I haven't gotten that deep into my angel kin stuff. None of these r like *you need it to count* things, but they're common for if u want more help being sure ig?

Again It's cool to hear that from you :]!!!!! I hope that's cool to hear? Idk if it's helpful or new info but. Yea

Lmk if you wanna chat abt it more nd stuff, it'd probably be fun!! :]

#enea rambles <3 #asks #mutuals #therian freinds!!! :]

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willowistic22 · 3 years

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Famous!newsies

Ok so here are my famous!newsies headcanons from an a modern au i thought of if newsies were celebrities/famous yknow bcs I couldn’t get this idea out of my head and idk what to do with it other than making a headcanon list nabsnzbsvsnsbz anyways hope yall validate me after not posting any original content for like…. awhile now hehe

btw it got longer than expected. And I mean r e a l l y long. So if yall wanna read this better sit down and buckle up!

Jack

He’s an artist on youtube

Like a modern day bob ross ig??

If yall know zhc on youtube just imagine that but not so rich (I don’t watch zhc btw but i do know that he does custom art on iphones and stuff and that is definitely not jack kelly)

Anyways Jack simply goes by Jack Kelly.

So jack does art challenges. Like does the weirdest requests from his fans left in his comment section and stuff

Or maybe challenging himself to make art from a specific theme or a specific media

Sometimes he vlogs too but his art videos are what his fans like the most

His merch is amazing because he designed the pattern/drawing/whatever yknow. It’s printed/sewed/whatever on the clothing and it’s good quality. It’s pretty lowkey for a youtuber’s merch bcs jack doesn’t like those merch that just smacks his logo on a hoodie

Davey

He’s a fantasy, YA, romance writer (he mixes it wisely ok?)

And goes by David Jacobs

Listen he’s a hopeless romantic and i’m pretty sure yall agree too

He wanted to stick to YA romance. The classic high school lovers yknow

But he wanted to challenge himself since he’s been writing about high school lovers since he was in high school

Thus the fantasy genre came in mind

So yeah he likes creating love in his own universe

Whether it’d be different worlds, universe, species, time periods, whatever.

He wanted to direct the movies based on his books, but he’s actually lowkey terrible at leading on his own. But he did stick to being the script writer and co-director (look idk how it works in the film industry i’m just making shit up)

Crutchie

He’s a solo jazz singer

Crutchie gives off Michael Buble and Jason Mraz vibes tho

And maybe a bit of frank sinatra? Yknow ‘cause he sings jazz

Also he riffs thank you very much :)

He goes by Crutchie Morris to everyone

He usually plays the acoustic guitar or piano on stage

Ok but he’s like really good with the piano

Makes the best jokes on stage too. Some are just sarcastic comments.

Crutchie asking through the microphone : “Oh, straight?”

A fan he’s talking to from the crowd : “Uhh… no, gay”

Crutchie : “no not you, the vodka”

Everyone at the concert : *laughs*

Crutchie, jokingly : “Oh, you’re drinking vodka! Straight? No gay”

(yes that was indeed inspired by that one video of Harry Styles and a fan in one of his concerts yall can’t stop me)

Kathrine

She’s a crime mystery writer

Think like the modern day Agatha Christie

Okok but she goes by Kathrine Plumber on her books :D

She chooses that genre bcs she’s a huge fan of Agatha Christie

Her favorite book from Agatha is Murder on the Orient Express

Oh and her books are sometime very gruesome alkjsfhakjsfb

Nobody check her browsing history, she’ll look like a murderer

Ok but I feel like she also has a youtube channel about books and stuff and sometimes like to vlog

She also has a writing tips series on her channel where she shares tips on some of the frequently asked questions about writing or her fans leave a specific question in the comment section and thought she could expand more to it in a full length video

Also she likes to vlog while she’s in a book convention

Her books are also turned into movies and she has done a great job directing it

Race

Yall would be lying to me if you don’t think this kid would end up being a twitch streamer and youtuber (like vlogging yknow. I feel like his gaming stuff would strictly be on twitch)

And ik it’s widely agreed by everyone in the fandom that he’s a dancer of some sort so yeah he’s also simultaneously a dancer

I don’t think I need to explain any further bcs it’s just so in character

He goes by Racetrack Higgins

Ok so he likes to vlog on his youtube channel

Sometimes does stupid challenges

Maybe he’d drag Albert to do a challenge which he always says no

“I’ll just be your cameraman dude, dw”

Race : *angery*

Since Al and Smalls are the skateboard peeps™ race is the rollerblade dude™ bcs I say so

He has three cats named Racecat Higgins, Spot Clawlon, and Romeow (i’ve mentioned it before and I will mention it again hehe) and his fans loves them endlessly

Albert

You don’t think this kid would also end up being a twitch streamer and youtuber like his bestie up there?? Lmao you thought wrong (again, gaming is strictly on his twitch)

He just goes by Albert DaSilva on the internet

And yes he’s also a dancer because I say so

On his Youtube channel he also vlogs

Half of his vlogs starts with him riding his skateboard

“Hey, guys! Welcome back to another vlog-” *falls off his skateboard for not paying attention to a curb*

It happens way more often than he’d like to admit let’s be real. His fans make a compilation of it and memes on reddit

Always wear a snapback

Snapbacks are an important element to him so his merch store is really boosting his snapbacks

And just for the wormsie discord server he has one with the word ranga on it after it being born from a stupid inside joke he, race, and both of their fanbases combined share (@ my wormsie fam thank me later)

Oh yeah, his youtube besties are Race and Smalls just so we’re clear here :) (I’ll get to Smalls in a bit)

So I always headcanon Albert having two big dobermans. So his fans always want to see a doggy update because Zara and Zoey are everything to them.

Doggo vlogs are fun. It’s usually Albert taking the two good girls to Central Park for playtime or teaching them new tricks

Spot

He’s a solo rock singer

Is an amazing singer like wow none of the newsies expected him to have that sort of pipes to reach high notes

And he does it amazingly with no sweat

Also his instrument is the electric guitar to go with his amazing singing ajsfhasjfhajhf

Anyways he goes by Spot Conlon still

And his songs are very lyrical. Like very.

A lot of metaphors. No one knows what most of his songs means.

So basically Taylor Swift songs if it switched genres to rock. And not even like songs from speak now or red. But like if evermore and folklore songs were to turn into rock songs with a little bit of reputation vibes sprinkled on top. And his concerts has the reputation era vibes but make it spot conlon (hey non swiftie fans reading this i’m so sorry i’m pretty sure yall don’t understand wtf i’m talking abt)

That is also the only way i know to describe his vibe i’m sorry but i don’t really listen to a lot of rock alkjhfasjk

Anyways it’s a known fact that he wears tank tops daily that it becomes his signature look. And also an inside joke among his fanbase

Now just picture the merch booth from one of his shows and there’s like endless tank top designs for his fans to pick and choose

He’s also crowned to be the King of Brooklyn bcs of obvious reasons

But the joke is he’s a pretty tough hardcore guy that’s a cat person

Sarah

She’s a badass female solo singer

Mostly does pop but the badass type of pop

Yes, she does go by Sarah Jacobs

Fans were really surprised Davey and Sarah are related

Because one is a hopeless romantic while the other is a total badass

Anyways she gives off Little mix, Ariana Grande, Taylor Swift, and Selena Gomez vibes

That is literally the only way I can describe it

She’s very lyrical, with a lot of metaphors

When she dances on stage, she d a n c e s

All while holding a mic to sing. And she hits all those high notes like it’s no ones business (a literal queen i tell you)

She and Spot are besties and has been known to have done a few collabs together

Their fans were hesitant about their collabs since their genre is pretty different from the other but they make it work and it slAPS

And among all her boppy songs with full choreography and backup singers, she always have a few songs she sings while only being accompanied by piano or guitar (Either electric or acoustic) which she plays on her own

Finch

He’s an indie pop artist with his trusted acoustic guitar by his side

Just think of music by Wallows and Lewis Capaldi were to be blended in together and Conan Gray for the cherry on top

But it has a little bit of Ed sheeran, Lorde, and Lauv vibes to it too

His concerts are simple but his songs are mostly very boppy so his fans still have fun either way

And it’s usually in small venues but there are times where he had a concert in a huge stadium

He goes by FINCH (yeah all caps btw)

Finches are a very on brand thing for him obviously

Has been known to collab with Crutchie and they actually make a very good team

Somehow was able to combined both genres to produce a few boppy songs

Ok ok but Finch and Crutchie have made a collaborative album (and maybe they went on tour????)

Specs

He’s a history fiction writer

Yes this is inspired by the fact that he’s 100% a history nerd (no one change my mind i love this headcanon aight)

And he explores a lot of different histories from different parts of the world

He actually helps a lot of students understand history even further for school through his novels

Anyways he goes by Specs because I say so

No one knows why that’s his pseudonym and Specs isn’t interested in explaining either. No one other than the newsies need to know it was born from a stupid nickname the newsies gave him :)

His research mostly comes from history books because of his genre which wouldn’t be a problem since he has loads and will voluntarily buy more if needed

Also yeah he makes a great director for the movies taken from his books

Mush

He’s a chef on youtube

Goes by Mush Meyers

So think if Gordon Ramsey and his youtube channel but make it mush

Yeah that’s it really

Ok but Mush is a jolly and friendly person

Other than just food vlogging he does cooking challenges and cooking tips too

Sometimes he does the cooking challenges with a friend (mostly henry but i’ll get to him later on in the list)

But he also vlogs his life

Which isn’t really often but he likes to sometimes

He’s that big of a foodie he has a food blog too

And also a seafood restaurant so that’s cool :D

Henry

Like Mush, he’s a chef on youtube

Goes by Henry on the internet and in general

Ajkfhajfjska I’m thinking about how ppl would address him as Chef Henry kajhfkjlashfjklasfjklsf

He mostly does the same thing like Mush actually

Food vlogging and cooking challenges (they do it together so) sometimes cooking tips

But Henry vlogs his life a lot

And instead of a food instagram he has a food blog

He has a sandwich restaurant

Yeah it is inspired by his pastrami on rye with a sour pickle line from KONY get mad about it why don’t ya (well if i’m not mistaken henry was the one that said it but idk i have horrible memory)

Blink

He’s a youtuber

Ok so I have a specific headcanon that Blink majored in psychology but didn’t end up being a psychologist

So instead he becomes a psychologist on youtube

Who often vlogs jhgasjlfhs

The guy looks like he could cut you but his sense of humor once you get him talking is just *chef’s kiss* amazing

Which is why he also has a podcast because he’s also secretly great at talking

He just thinks mental health is very important, okay?

Romeo

He’s an actor

Mostly on Broadway but has worked with Hollywood before

He’s usually a supporting character but has been known to understudy for main characters

Ok ik these bullet points are getting shorter and shorter but these are mostly bcs some of these stuff are pretty self explanatory since it’s very in character

Like are you telling me a kid named Romeo isn’t gonna be in some way very dramatic and end up turning that personality trait into his career?? Plus he’s very good at that?

Yeah you’re lying to me

Also he’s a pretty frequent vlogger on youtube

Look he’s a fun guy, what did you expect?

Just goes by Romeo on youtube

Elmer

He’s an actor

Has done his fair share in Broadway and Hollywood but started in Broadway

He can dance but thinks he’s pretty average in it yknow

Which his fans has no idea what he’s talking about because on stage he can do flips and turns like it’s no ones business yknow

But he can sing really good and takes pride in it

Elmer would play characters that is really far off from his own personality that fans couldn’t believe that Elmer played that character

He has done his fair share in main characters and supporting characters on Broadway

In Hollywood he usually does indie and rom-com movies

Buttons

He’s a fashion youtuber and basically an influencer

Let’s be real this boy is a fashion icon

He’s not really a model but more like a fashion influencer and also kind of a fashion designer

His clothing line is very *chefs kiss* amazing

He designed it all and sometimes likes to design for his friends as well

He also does fashion tips on his youtube channel

His instagram game is god tier level (along with Tommy Boy and Sniper I’ll get to them in a bit)

But yeah he also vlogs

And goes by Buttons Davenport

Jojo

He’s an actor

Mostly on Broadway but has done a few movies in Hollywood

He radiates main character energy and he does become the main character most of the time (on hollywood at least)

On Broadway he mostly enjoys being apart of the ensemble because this boy loves dancing

But he does play a few supporting characters

He has released one or two albums too because his singing is top tier

But isn’t interested in doing a lot of live concerts with his albums

Since no one has the time to say Josephino Jorgelino De La Guerra he turned it into Jojo De La Guerra (so much for ‘a special nickname only for friends and family’)

Mike and Ike

They’re a pop boy band and bcs of my lack of creativity it’s called Mike and Ike

At the start of their career :

“My name goes first because I’m older than you!” - Mike

“You’re only older than me by 13 minutes, holy shit!” - Ike

But Ike slowly accepts the fact that it’ll be like this yknow

Anyways they’re pretty great singers

They have one direction and new hope club vibes

Tho unlike one direction they can dance (i love the boys alright but i really think it’s funny that they can’t dancelkhjjlh)

They like to switch from the guitar (electric and/or acoustic) to the piano

The amount of times their name is confused by the candy is too many

But they like it like that lol

Anyways i’ve mentioned a headcanon where Mike has tattoos (not like from head to toe but it’s fairly noticeable to everyone) and Ike has piercings

So the only way their fans tell them apart is by that

But there are times where Mike has his tattoos covered or Ike took his piercings off in public alone. A fan mistakens them for the other twin but they still respond to the other name because they don’t feel like there’s a need to correct them since they’re mostly known by Mike and Ike anyways. When the fan posts it on instagram and tags the twin they thought it was the twin that was tagged would comment “wrong twin but nice pic you two”

Happens wayyyyy too many times. Their fans are officially scared to approach one of the two in public alone without their differentiating indicators on which is which

And yes it is widely known that they argue a lot when it comes to writing songs

Nothing out of the ordinary sibling squabble yknow but it’s a lot

But they do end up finding a solution to the topic of their argument and make a good team at the end of the day

Hotshot

He’s an actor

On Broadway, he’s one of those actor’s that is mostly good in just the acting and singing

He can’t dance to save his life sjdfghaf

So Jeremy Jordan yknow asj;oghajshf

No not really. He can dance a little bit

So he’s mostly the main character

But he’s widely known for his works in Hollywood

He does a lot of drama. Think stuff like Elite and Designated Survivor. Yeah those kinds of heavy drama (well idk i think those two are pretty heavy)

He wants to release his own music because he’s a pretty good singer but he can’t write songs to save his life either jgnjafjasf

And all the demo songs he was suggested by producers isn’t his cup of tea

So he’s no singer ladies and gents ://

The name Hotshot is used to name his social media platforms. He always adds a description in his bio’s that Hotshot is a nickname his friends and family use so his fans and the media refer to him with his name

I headcanon Hotshot’s real name is Tyler or some sort. No don’t ask me what’s his last name is because idk either lol

Sniper

She’s a model, beauty and fashion youtuber (I’m pretty sure those are two different things tho idk i don’t watch youtube religiously anymore), and just an influencer in general

Instagram game on p o i n t

I know most beauty youtubers go by their names but uhh… i don’t think i’ve ever thought of a first name for Sniper but I really think she really would just go by Sniper Wah on the internet (Idk she seems like an Ashley in my head but feel free to recommend headcanon names to me)

Anyways she’s very fashionable

Tommy Boy (i’ll get to him just wait aight?) and Buttons are her fashion besties

The three of them pretty much appear in each other’s Youtube video not Tommy’s tho bcs he doesn’t have one lol

Sniper’s brand are huge sun hats

I have no idea how or why but that girl has sun hats vibes I can’t explain any further I’m sorry

Doesn’t have a clothing line but does have a make up brand of her own. She calls it Sniper. Yeah that’s it akjfhjf

Smalls

She’s a twitch streamer and youtuber like race and albert

They’re a youtube trio everyone loves it

And yes she does go by Smalls

Oh and she also dances like her two stupid besties thanks for asking

Bubblegum is her brand (idk how to explain she just has the vibe)

She is skateboard chick

I’m imagining a video collab of her and Al on a skatepark doing stupid challenges

It’s her most viewed video

Tommy Boy

Ok ok he’s a model, influencer, and dancer

So think a male version of Gigi Hadid that dances

No he doesn’t have a youtube channel but frequently has made an appearance on Buttons’ and Sniper’s videos

Yes his instagram feed is also very amazing

He goes by Tommy Boy

People genuinely thinking ‘Boy’ is actually his last name and kinda think it’s strange but doesn’t complain

Tommy literally didn’t think people would think it was his last name. But they did anyways

Les

Let’s just get straight to the point : he’s a famous tiktoker

And yes, ppl are surprised at the fact that him, Davey, and Sarah are related to each other

To the people that made it through this entire list. Congratulations and thank you for your validation. Have a wonderful evening and stay hydrated

i will write at least one oneshot out of this au i promise!!

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smol-grey-tea · 3 years

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I was gonna write the romo attraction thing today but honestly i dont feel like doing it bc im just rlly upset about smth that im sure a lot of ppl can relate to

So my irl friend groups are very... well they dont know much about these kinds of things, i had to be a walking encyclopaedia for them about my identities like nb stuff bc they didn't bother to just... look it up.

When i told them i was trans they would say "omg are you actually trans?? I have a trans best friend!!" Yikes

Instead they would ask me to explain it. Which is fine, i kinda hate having to explain for the 5th time that no, using the correct terms and pronouns is not a fucking burden, and that yes, dysphoria is awful and wont just magically go away.

and when i tell them to yk, not use pronouns for me and just use my name instead, not 1 person did that. They just... misgendered me and used she/her when i explicitly told them that it makes me dysphoric. I then told them to use coo/coos/cooself instead bc i quite like it, but they still didnt use it.

Then i gave up and told them to use they/them since it doesnt make me dysphoric even tho i lowkey hate it. They still misgender me but said "they'll try to get used to it". Its not that hard guys what the actual fuck???

Anyway, i was actually going to talk about aspec stuff. So i only told one of them that i was demiromantic demisexual, and they said "wtf is that" which yk is not a nice way to react to someone coming out, but i have thick skin so i just explained it bc again they couldnt bother to search it, and they said "ok ig" and changed the subject when i wanted to explain my attraction???? I've never had anyone that i could talk to about my complicated feelings with being aspec and just when i thought i could i was shut down.

I thought it was over and done with, until they started to... ignore my fucking identity??? Which i would say is way more important and personal to me than my bisexuality??? They never did any of that bs with my bisexuality probably bc they were pansexual themself, but jfc is it that hard to not make jokes about me being horny or having a crush or joking about setting me up on blind dates??? It legit made me so uncomfortable and i have no idea what to say.

Bc remember, they didnt exactly respect my pronouns and kept using gendered terms to refer to me even more after i came out??? I swear it feels like its on purpose every time they called me a girl but whatever

Istg they forgot that im demi bc they keep making these jokes and ignoring that i dont feel sexual or romantic attraction like that and keep acting as if i want to date ppl or fuck them when i say they look pretty??? I spent way too fucking long mistaking my aesthetic attraction for sexual for ppl to once again reinforce this idea and im done with it. Please for the love of god stop it.

I said i liked wilbur and thought he was rlly cute and they then proceeded to, you guessed it, act like im in love with him or that i want to fuck him. First of all, hes a real person on the internet that i do not know, 2nd of all, fucking eww, and 3rd of all, hes a whole ass adult and we r both in high school. Yikes again.

Ofc i didnt tell them these things and just said that i dont like him that way and just thought he was pretty and nothing else. They completely ignored this and thought i was just embarrassed or smth or that i was in denial. Yikes again again.

So yeah. The only lesson i learned is to never come out as aspec to anyone irl ever again. Tbh i kinda want to tell them that im not bi and that i dont feel any kind of attraction. It would be a lie but christ i wish they would stop. They can validate my bisexuality but not my nb or aspec identities? I knew that queer sexualities were more normalized now which is awesome but why cant they do that for trans ppl or aspecs? Why does it have to stop there?

Sorry for venting like this but i thought this might be relatable for yall. Ive never had the experience of feeling "broken" bc of any of my identities, im very confident in them. I just wish other ppl other than my online friends would feel the same.

Also sorry for delaying the romo attraction thingy i just rlly dont feel like it rn. Idk when i will write it but hopefully if i feel better i will finish it today

There's no pressure to write it up dude it's cool :) whenever you're ready ❤

And those ppl do not sound like good friends- idk exactly how old you are but ik I'm older, and I can tell you for certain that you will find better friends one day. It's guaranteed :) they don't deserve your friendship and I am glad to validate and help you in any way you need ❤❤

Yee I've never felt broken either! I think an element of that is that I thought I was allo for a very long time? But on the other hand I was bullied in my childhood for not having attraction so idk why that hasn't manifested into a phobia of romance but eh I'm better off this way whether it makes sense or not.

It makes me happy as well cuz a lot of ppl in the community seem very pessimistic abt how we're treated but it's nice to know that not all of us feel broken cuz the 2 of us are living examples of that :)

But unfortunately yeah, your experiences above are things many ppl can relate to. I'm sure almost everyone can remember a time where they came out to someone and weren't met with good responses,,

Let this be a reminder that this is not right and we deserve more support for something so personal. Even if you don't understand someone's identity that doesn't give you the right to dismiss or ignore them. Our identities are very important and personal to us and supporting them is basic respect.

#my post #ask #long post #lgbtq #aspec #aroace #aroacespec #non binary #transgender #neutralitea #transphobia tw #aphobia tw #acephobia tw #arophobia tw #swearing cw

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kuroopaisen · 3 years

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not to throw my two cents /now/ but for shows like aot (I personally stopped after s2 and i havent rly considered picking it up again yet), there definitely are problematic elements and depictions that should be called out when necessary—and we need to especially listen to those whose identities were unfairly treated. anime and manga aren’t innocent of problems, as are the artists behind it :,)

I won’t lie, japan still continues to be sketchy w how they teach and treat their history, but ig we as watchers/readers these media can remain critical of what we consume ? the act of watching smth w fascist elements doesn’t mean you condone it ! and choosing not to watch or support (i find these to be different things) bc of those problematic elements is also valid.

oH and I personally don’t rly like aot either from what I’ve been seeing LMAO as a person who dedicated 2 years of high school to extensive studying of history it’s just :\\\\\\ I think all the points have been made by ppl before me, and by you!!

hello miss yuki!! first of all, i think the idea that people can’t consume Problematic Media is. is stupid because. humans are capable of critical thinking DJLSDALKJ that’s like... our thing. and just because something’s ‘problematic’ doesn’t mean there’s nothing valuable to draw from it? and by that, i mean... sometimes i specifically seek out things i know i’ll disagree with so i can actually talk about it properly, instead of relying on heresay.

i guess it’s like the jk r*wling thing. do i think people who enjoy harry potter are militant transphobes? no! do i think it’s a bit shifty to spend money on harry potter merch that isn’t secondhand and is therefore putting coins in miss transphobes pockets? yes! there’s difference between consuming and supporting for sure.

people have complicated relationships with media and internet discourse tends to make things too black-and-white. where do we draw the line? does resonating with shinji’s story in neon genesis evangelion mean you now support sexualising underage girls? does enjoying harry potter mean you condone fatphobia? does enjoying my hero academia mean you hate the lower classes?

but at the same time, if someone wants to steer clear of something because of those kinds of things, they absolutely have a right to and neither them nor their intelligence should be insulted for that. a lot of people like to throw around “oh you just don’t understand” as an insult and honestly, Shut Up. leave people be.

ANYWAY aot

yeah a lot of my problems with aot come down to isayama using a metaphor that isn’t even his to draw on. even if the pernicious aspects are unintentional, they’re still harmful. and also, it’s pretty obvious that isayama’s done his research? with how well the story emulates certain facts in history (and even referencing the madagascar plan hh), there’s no way isayama doesn’t know what he’s talking about. and you can’t really brush up on your knowledge of wwii without the whole antisemitism thing, so...

but i think an issue i have with a lot of the criticism towards aot is that it comes from a very Western perspective; and i get that to a degree, but it’s also important to think about where the author comes from and who he’s writing for. that doesn’t exonerate any of the problematic aspects to any degree, but context is. well, sometimes it’s everything

for example, i don’t think the question is so much “is isayama a nazi” as it is “is isayama trying to justify japanese expansionism” because while both are awful, one question is more relevant to what he’s likely to believe (even in the infamous twitter screenshots, he pretty staunchly seems anti-holocaust). i think ethnocentric criticisms muddy the water.

i’m a dual major in anthropology and history, and while that absolutely doesn’t give me authority, it means i tend to focus more on this sort of thing? there’s no way isayama could’ve known that attack on titan would become so... global? and an issue with episodic things of any nature is that it’s almost impossible to analyse them in their whole until it’s finished. aaaand in most cases, that takes years.

so regardless of what isayama intended, that means there are still right-wing groups that love aot and see it as a metaphor for the great replacement, or there’s people who see it as a justification to abandon pacifism, and so on. but there are also people who see it as a staunchly anti-war story, or a narrative about the cycle of hatred.

YEAH w the watching vs. supporting, i’ve actually been streaming aot on gogoanime because i didn’t know what i’d think of it when i started, even though i have an animelab and crunchyroll subscription. the question is, am i giving it social capital by discussing it online? some would say yes (i’ve got a platform, and just talking about it in general gives it affluence), some would say no (even if i have a platform, it’s small in the grand scheme of things, and how many people are actually reading my mini essays?)

ANYWAY this is largely incoherent i’m so sorry sdalkjfslfkdj look after yourself!!

#I'M SO SORRY THIS GOT LONG #yuki 🌸#rowan watches attack on titan #awanggan #rowan replies

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smutty-ki113r · 3 years

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yes yes i am very sure that Ben loves u ! he snatched my phone out of my hand to look at the picture. I am almost certain he was blushing ( •̀ ω •́ )✧ hehe. he told me to tell u that u r gorgeous <3

I totally get what u said abt having trouble with believing love, red! I also have trouble believing that anybody could love me! Trauma yes u r right ig lmao

ALSO WTF HOW R U SO PRETTY?! MIGHT SNATCH U FROM BEN NGL 😘💕

oh yeah Ben completed the heart like... I wish I could take pictures of him man :< but he did and he was grinning ear to ear.

Oh god I have like a full pdf file with backinfo of my oc's and I need to update it again...(it's been only a month-) so uh sharing all of it would be kinda a lot. so here is a lil info abt my oc's: 8 clownis :> and then we have 3 mythical creatures and 2 robots but i don't count the bots as oc's since they r mostly just gadgets. my clowns r; as I said; based on clowndolls I either bought, made or got gifted. the mythical creatures have powers, 2 of them r based of drawings I made and the third is based of my comfort stuffie :> i'll keep it at that for now

OKOK i defintely think if u tell Ben u have trouble sleeping he will either stay up with u or "help u out" haha.

It went great with toby 🥰 maybe a lil tmi BUT well my crevix felt abused- but I slept like a goddamn baby. I slept 8 hours yay!!!

sorry for answering a lil late...i got my period and felt horrible yesterday. the pain was ok but my dysphoria acted up again -.-

I feel a lot better today :>

-🃏

DID HE SEE ALL THE PICS? I posted more cause people were boosting my ego and BRO it’s so hard to heal from those things. Cause if people actually do want to be with me it’s like do I trust them? IDK for you but for me, people used to lie about being in love with me, so now I am suspicious. Also cause wow, there’s a lot of people out there why would you choose me? Im actually super insecure about myself LOL im trying to work on it!

HE COMPLETED THE HEART????????? DEAR LORD THATS ADORABLE———grinning ear to ear i could cry!! from happiness obviously—————- side note: question; i am not sure how things work over there HAHHAH, but if Ben can see the pics and the fics are like my anon messages (like this one) there too?? Like can he for example read this? Just completely random cause i literally have no clue how it works over there-. ALSO since your’e with Toby lucky bitch i could strangle you, with love cause i love you so much does he ever talk about masky? 🤨 Cause I remember you tellin me he’s quite reserved. Hmmm. LOL IM SO INVESTED IN THIS SHSH

Thats so impressive, you literally have clown oc’s from the dolls you make. 😮 Thats a different level of dedication. AND YOU DRAW//?? Imagine the talent. What kinds of powers do your mythical creatures have??? I LOVE IT!!! I dont have oc’s per say, i just have like a book im writing, but that’s different i think?? Cause i get so attached and like one of my protagonists i fucking- i cant even describe. But I wrote an entire piece on that. LOL LMK IF YOUD LIKE TO READ IT

If I ever got in an intimate situation with ben I would get so so sososososos insecure. Like im such a simp ofc yes, and AGH SEX but also like,,,HAHAHHAJHA I HAVE SO MANY CONCERNS WITH MY BODY- regardless. I am so fucking PROUD OF YOU! Look at you- getting good dick sleep. NEVER TMI ON THIS BLOG 😌

Bro, we are literally SYNCING UPPPPPPP, I got my PERIOD LIKE TWO DAYS AGO AGHHHH. But ive been having dysphoria too, and i completely understand. Remember that you are valid, and you are in fact NOT A GIRL, and you never have been, and you never will be. Its literally scientifically proven that non cis people’s brain are literally different- you will always be just a person in my eyes. Gender is shit, fuck gender, it’s literally made up.

I LOVE YOU!!! I wish i could crawl over the screen like ben or smtg and give u a hug.

#🚹#♠️#💬

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elysicndrcvm · 3 years

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━♡ guess the 23 YEAR OLD FEBRUARY baby just arrived to dallyeog! it makes sense, because CHU EUNHA is just as BEDAZZLING as the month of FEBRUARY. wait, why do they remind me of JACOB BAE? beyond that, they seemed JOYOUS and SAVVY upon first glance. i heard someone say they’re sort of DELICATE and QUIXOTIC though. i hope they get acquainted here in COMPLEX 1 / APARTMENT 0215 / FLOOR 3 ; HE seem(s) to have a lot going on with HIS job as a PATISSERIE OWNER/NUTRITIONAL SCIENCE STUDENT. ( ez, 21, she/they, gmt. )

well hey there !! im ez but you fellow dallyeogers can call me ezzy, i have been in dallyeog before so some may remember me as having someone v different to my new bb i bring u now, i joined before with miss tam carmen !! anygays i return with this lil angel who i am all ‘ i say that’s my baby and i’m proud ’ over already even tho i literally came up with him like two days ago. you can find his pinboard here ( which btw i fuckeN love like he’s so aesthetic to me u go king ) and i made him a lil playlist which u can vibe to here. you can learn more about him under the cut but he’s a super soft-hearted gentle dove of a muse and quite...simple for me ?? sdhdh that’s not the right wording but U GET IT djjflg he isn’t super full of angst or trauma he’s just kinda viBIN livin his best life so that’s fun !! but ye without further ado:

so as u kno from his app he owns a patisserie, it’s his lil babey and he is very dedicated to his craft and makin sure all his ideas for the place and the baked goods he sells are like rlly quirky and avant-garde. like he is so passionate about it u dont even KNOW, he tries to make sure most of the stuff on his menu is something like fun and new u wouldn’t get at just any old patisserie or cafe and that it’s super varied and also kinda aesthetic af? the place is very like trendy. it’s called patisserie d’elysian cause ya know he’s an extra biTCHH and proud.

he has three pupperino’s. all as adorable as each other, snickerdoodle is his golden lab and often ppl shorten it down to snickers, butterscotch is his dapple daschund pup, shortens the name to scotchie often. toulouse is his fancy toy poodle boi, shortens the name down as toto. if u are on the shortened name basis with his pups then u can consider urself one of his close pals.

he’s actually adopted by his aunt but she raised him like she was his mother so that is what he considers her, she’s on his mother’s side but they are half-siblings. in terms of first name reasoning as well she just liked eunha as a name and didn’t even think about how it is traditionally for a female, she liked that it meant gift from heaven so it stuck. his father is still around, he’s just quite elderly so it felt like a better living situation for him to be raised primarily by his auntie. unfortunately his mother has passed on but no tragic story, she just went peacefully in old age.

he dyes his hair quite often, it’s currently like a really pastel blue with black streaks consistently throughout like lil ones so it looks super cool. but he’s also had it be a more electric blue, lilac, and a duck egg kinda faded silvery blue. it’s naturally dark brunette. has brown eyes kind of a hazel hue.

his style is kinda androgynous ig?? he just lives for soft retro fashion, lots of color in his wardrobe but also lots of tapered short and t-shirt fits frequented, sweater vests, rolled up jeans, high skater boi socks, soft jumpers with shirts, shirts in bright colours or satiny texture worn over plain white t-shirts, cardigans, pastel denim jackets, jeans with printed patterns on like clouds, flowers etc, favors yellow and blues. sometimes does eye makeup, occasionally wears heels bc he’s a baddie or super heeled boots/chunky shoes.

obsessed with music, can play violin and guitar. he’s a big mitski and rina sawayama fanatic, likes anything that sounds peaceful or calming or has like a good fun vibe to it. also likes the trademark gay icons like carly rae jepsen, lorde, etc. he’s not ashamed. obsessed with mamma mia movies. but also likes rap which is rlly funny cause its like the bad bitch female rappers only and like he’ll listen to it while arranging his sock drawer or making his bed or something ajdjdj it’s like hype anthems for being a baddie and a hoe and he’s just doing his night sleepy routine adkfkf.

showers, blankets, music, baked goods especially bagels are his happy places.

very much a sensitive lil romanticist, falls in ‘love’ like five times a day, he just likes to giggle and smile around pretty people and admire the artwork hnghdh, he’s like yeARNS though ya know?? like he’s all i will flirt by making prolonged eye contact, i made you a playlist, this song makes me think of you etc. it’s either memes as flirting with him or elaborate love letters u never know what ur gonna get akdkd.

awful sense of humour, loves his friends more than anything on earth except his pups, would fully live in a huge house of just like his pups and all his closest buds for all eternity. likes fruits way too much, enjoys puns about fruits way too much. milkshakes, sushi, orange hues and bus rides are some of his absolute favorite simple pleasures of life. clouds, flowers, salt lamps, the sunrise over the sea, skateboarding, fresh soda, teddy bears, busy street markets, parasols, fish tanks with exotic fish, sorbet, bike riding, polaroids, record players, rain at night against floor to ceiling windows with a fresh steaming pot of tea on the desk beside it and warm fresh sheets from the laundry on his bed, ponds, skateboarding. all little joys in life that give him like the biggest pleasure dopamine hit in the world.

his cousin actually owns a florists so he has flowers just littering his apartment like a lot and it just looks like he has ten million suitors from the late eighteenth century attempting to court him but no all these flowers are from him to him or worse from his aunt djfjg she sends him some for valentines every valentines, pls help him, pls send him flowers.

studies nutritional science and he fucken hates it. do not ask him shit cause he doesn’t KNOW OKAY? he doesn’t understand it either. he took it because he needed something to go alongside the passion for baking that was a real ‘qualification’/job so that is the only reason he’s doing it. no point doing a baking degree after all when he’s already a baker with a business, he’s super young still he gotta keep his prospects open. so YAH. he’d rather be doing culinary arts but eh. nutritional science sounded better and more logic based. the real miracle is he still gets top grades all the time even tho he spends his life like wtf am i even doing is this even legit akdkdk. school is the worst thing in the world for him watch his mood instantly deflate the second its brought up.

despite being a quixotic, he’s a lil afraid of intimacy. like oh god does he love it, those small touches and acts of affection u kno? the subtle things that normally go unnoticed, eye contact, brushing of hands, linking of little fingers, rubbing a thumb, kissing eyelids or foreheads or palms or shoulders in little gentle pecks, back massages and rubs or finger tracing patterns absent-minded, shoulder massages, laying your head on someone’s shoulder or on their lap, knocking knees together, exchanging a small glance only the two of you get before bursting into laughter, smiling into kisses, napping together, having blankets placed over you warm and fresh, or towels put ready like it, someone making you something they know you like a lot. that’s his sHIT. but like he’s terrified still, someone skimming their fingers on his skin makes his breath hitch like he’s a scandalized and alarmingly aroused victorian woman sjdjd. he’s literally still a virgin, he hasn’t even had his first kiss okay my baby is delicate be gentle with him akdkd but he still LIKES PASSION AIGHT kfkf.

real soft spoken, honey tinted voice like i shit u not this boy talks like he’s an angel sent from heavens above to guide you to the paradisaical garden of eden or some shit akdkd. ur gonna fall in love with eunha’s voice before u even fall in love with any other part of him like his adorable beaming smile or stunning eyes akdkf.

has dance parties around his room when getting ready in the morning, listens to bella’s lullaby unironically yes from twilight yes u heard right, bit of a himbo streak sometimes in his obliviousness djfjf. quite silently subtly funny actually much like jacob himself.

he is gay, afraid of driving, cannot do math, blanks out often and he is valid for all of those things. has a collection of cartoon and disney animal movie dvds. has a dream notebook. always has blue painted nails in some kinda shade.

does not enjoy turning in assignments bc he is scared he’ll fail, avoids looking at his grades for weeks after they’re released and hates knowing that they’re out.

cannot dance, dances often. collects vintage stuff esp clothes and mostly sweaters. likes midnight trips to corner stores and fields where he can just lay and look at the stars. makes friends rlly easily but has super bad performance anxiety. cannot ever have a messy room like even the tiniest bit messy. even like clothes being stacked on a chair instead of away.

bakes peanut butter, banana and choc chip muffins (they r called monkey bites normally) whenever he’s super stressed. if u want to cheer him up when he’s anxious or stressed then u should give him french lavender honey, chia seeds and caramelized pear on toast/bagel. it is his comfort food. he fancii when he needs a pick me up. treat urself and all that.

#dallyeog:intro #i'm literally in love with him he's the softest most goodest boi muse i have ever made and i just #im that meme of the samari sword guy with the cat in his arms akfkfk #IVE ONLY HAD EUNHA FOR TWO DAYS BUT IF ANYONE HURTS HIM I WILL KILL THEM AND THEN MYSELF AKKDK

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goldbasedira · 3 years

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flowerrpetaled · 4 years

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( olivia holt, demi female, she/they, fire emblem: awakening ) * &. i know it must be scary for you, olivia after surviving the takeover. to turn into someone like orion “ori” monroe, a twenty-five year old clerk at amy’s, right here in castle town. just remember that you are as artistic as you are self-conscious, and to be wary, be safe, be true to who you are : neutral through and through. ( hylia )

yes i gave myself awakening rights again bc this is,,, best girl,,, i love olivia sm n im so excited 2 write here bt like owain - all of u be warned bc i haven’t played awakening in a long long time so i’m bound 2 be rusty with her !! / tws : death , kidnapping ( ment ) , anxiety

BEFORE THE SNAP . / O L I V I A

so OKAY. prior to the events of the game , Olivia was a dancer that traveled around the continent of Ylisse with a theatre troupe - unfortunately , bc of her popularity , a plot to kidnap her into her career had been set into place , and the west khan of ferox basilio prevented it. this would start off their friendship , which would eventually lead to olivia’s involvement in the plegia-ylisse war.

her involvement was firstly to rescue chrom’s army post emmeryn’s death , to where she escorted them back to ferox via a carriage convoy. and then afterwards , before facing off against gangrel , she joined chrom’s army as a dancer to invigorate and inspire troops ( aka , if you’re not familiar with the dancer class in fe , olivia’s ur only dancer in awakening and she can basically make ppl move twice one turn )

BTTTT YEAH that’s rly about it ?? my olivia’s not married 2 anyone in particular - kinda just leaving that open ( only flat no is chrom bc chrobin rights ) bt she has her son inigo n she loves him dearly !!

but okay so like ,,,, character-wise , olivia is graceful & considered a perfomance genius. she dances divinely & her singing is gorgeous - however , she possesses extreme stage-fight & anxiety as well as incredibly low self-esteem. she’s very sweet & kind & a lovely person , but she’s also ,,,, honestly this poor girl thinks so lowly of herself n modern-day olivia would probably be behind so many self-deprecating memes

poor baby is startled v easily by surprises and/or strangers - a lot of her supports help her find ways 2 cope with this in one way or another and some of them are ,,,, incredibly sweet ?? like. one of my personal faves is her support w/ stahl where he respects her comfort zone & communicates her with notes bc he knows olivia gets incredibly anxious around confrontation. virion also volunteers to teach olivia a dance from across a room i believe for these same reasons just to respect her comfort zone n it’s INCREDIBLY sweet

one thing For Sure is that her confidence raises as she performs - but almost immediately after , the adrenaline fades n olivia goes back to her shell - n that’s okay. i honestlyyyyy really love olivia sm bc like , i deal w/ a LOT of what she deals with n it was rly cool to see a character like me bc i uh. yeah im an anxious fucker.

i also always feel the need to explain myself n am incredibly shy n need assurance even if my actions were entirely valid.

bt yeah i’m so excited 2 write her n give ini his momma !! she’s my babie,,,, il uv her,,,,

AFTER THE SNAP . / O R I O N M O N R O E

SO ORI. ori is an interesting story in itself bc again in some ways it’s a lot of what i dealt with bt also,, you’ll see.

so i’m 90% sure she’s like. the third character i have born to famous parents bt ori was a case where she was the fourth child of a dancer mother, an actor father, and her siblings were performers + producers + directors and ori was expected to fill the same shoes.

however, she didn’t excel like they did - she didn’t excel and was always seen as the “odd one out” and the “disappointment” even tho she was just as talented as the rest of them. she just... didn’t get lucky in her career like they did, and her parents, instead of helping her or pushing her to keep trying, kind of just... used her as their token disappointment bc ig “every family has one” and all that bullshit.

so she was the one who led a more quiet life and for that reason couldn’t take the constant weight her family put on her to succeed when they already accepted she couldn’t. so that’s when ori moved out to castle town, just bc it was quiet and nice and off the map.

and also nobody... connected the dots. nobody saw her as the odd one out that didn’t fit into a family of celebrities. ori was just ori and while ori wanted to pursue her own things, she was made to feel comfortable in her own skin again.

still as shy as ever and definitely quiet & anxious, she’s an aspiring dancer but doesn’t really want to go onstage again just yet. she survived , so yes she remembers, but she’s more comfortable right now dancing in an empty room by herself than in front of other people. bt she’s defo choreographed like a hundred dances just by herself buuut she’s still gotten the “i’m not meant for that stuff” thing stuck in her head when she watches the dancers at ct centre of theatre & dance and she’s scared to audition for those reasons.

she currently works at the makeup counter at amy’s !! bt also on bad days she sometimes works in the stockroom instead w/ permission n it makes her feel better.

so she’s still,,, babie. n she wants to find inigo more than anything even tho she’s honestly scared he won’t remember her when she does : (

ANYWAYS I LOVE HEERRR IM GONNA HOPEFULLY START THINGS ON HER SOOOOOOOOOOn

#god i love projecting on characters who share One Thing with me #castletown.intro #abt tag tbd #anxiety tw #death tw #kidnapping mention

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patronsaintoffinalgirls · 5 years

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an OpinionPost(tm)

i dont want a part of the queer discourse bc its dumb as hell and most of the ppl involved in it r assholes, but goddamn. please try 2 b sensitive to other ppl!!! please take their trauma seriously! please take their identities seriously!

like, look. due 2 homophobia/transphobia/etc in our society and the way our identities r used against us, some people are not going to b comfortable using the labels that are personally healing n important to u, but u cant just lash out at them or childishly exclude/ignore them for that.. instead try being angry at the people who used those words w harmful intent in the first place. ESPECIALLY if its a term used as commonly in a harmful way as queer. its use in homophobic/transphobic rhetoric is not a thing of the past, and u would do well 2 remember that.

and if someone wants to reclaim queer for themself, pls do not harass them or question their validity as a member of our community for it. its a highly loaded term 2 most if not all of us, and reclaiming it is a personal decision made w thought n purpose. if the words have been thrown at us in hatred, its our right 2 reclaim those words. especially queer, since the nonspecific but explicitly not-cishet nature of it makes it incredibly useful and comforting to a lot of people who 1) have identities that are hard to explain to the cishets, 2) arent comfortable going into the specifics of their identity(s) but still wish to be distinguished from cishets, and 3) are questioning their specific identity(s) but know for sure that they arent cishet.

imho this conflict n pain can b easily avoided if u just show empathy n consideration 2 fellow members of our community, even if their personal experience is different than yours. thanks for coming 2 my ted talk ig

#ok to rb idc #just wanted 2 get my thoughts out #raphael.txt #q word /#homophobia /#transphobia /#long post /

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banditchika · 6 years

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I love TsuguSayo because their personalities are so different, yet complementary. Sayo is an affection-starved ball of anxiety hiding under a prickly mask and Tsugu is a baby sunshine made out of pure distilled Love For Her Friends. They acknowledge each others' hard work while both trying to make sure that the other doesn't work too hard. Tsugu pulls Sayo's mask off and Sayo holds Tsugu down to earth. There's something about their dynamic that just works so well, and I'm living for it.

you said it!! ppl were already posting ab them when i first downloaded EN bandori, but i had No Idea why they were shipped until i read the translated event myself, yknow?? they’re one of those duos that you don’t NOTICE are foils until the writers point it out, at which point ur kinda like. oh. oh shit. oh duh.

tsugusayo r opposites, but they serve so well as foils bc they understand each others’ struggles in a way they can’t vocalize to anyone else--tsugu feels like she can’t TELL afterglow ab her insecurities bc while they’ll rush to reassure her, it won’t ease her complex bc what if they’re just patronizing her bc they don’t want her to feel bad?? she knows that moca’s a genius guitarist n that she can’t match ran or tomoe when it comes to playing passionately, so when they say that she Can and Does, it doesn’t feel... right

meanwhile sayo’s position is kind of self-explanatory wrt being in the awkward position of having difficulties w ppl (person) she’s close with, but what’s unique ab her relationship w tsugu is that it isn’t just ab her growth in different skills. she’s allowed to fail, mess up, n still come out of that w tsugu thinking she’s Cool As Hell, n i think sayo rlly needs someone in the cast who she can do that with that isn’t hina. they’re one of each others’ out-of-band friendships that rlly work bc they’re relentlessly validating each other w a perspective that isn’t born out of familiarity or necessity, so they can b more open n honest w each other than they are even w their bands

they clicked together for me after the event n now i Struggle to write them w anyone else, admittedly OTL. i actually came into bandori expecting to get SUPER into mocaran but. i got sidelined by a rarepair n ig this is just how it is now

#sincerely pantsu #bandori #tsugusayo?? good. very good #Anonymous

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broomswept-thoughts · 3 years

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Hmm just been thinking about if I’m aromantic again.

I’m pretty sure I’m not asexual (LOL), but aromantic is a bit different... In the sense that I really do have strong feelings for some people, but also they can never exist in the vacuum of *crush/ aesthetic*-only, I HAVE to be friends with them.

I guess what makes me confused is my whole celebrity crush on Dami. I mean obv I don’t know her or anything, and I do def find her attractive objectively too which was how I got into being such a huge fangirl for her... But also I guess I crave watching casual DC videos where she’s just doing her thing or being cute without the girl crush vibe? And the more I watch, the more I want to be super close friends with her because I feel like I’m similar to her (even though maybe a good portion is just marketing/ celebrity manufacturing lol). But I guess, it just makes me think about how I might be attracted (physically? In terms of a ~vibe~/ aesthetic?), but romantically, I can’t conceive of anything beyond an exclusive friendship...? But with cuddling? Which is physical I guess, but it’s not specifically sexual (not to mention having sexual fantasies about celebrities kinda makes me gag anyway. But also with any celebrity... Or anyone to be honest. I don’t know if that’s a sign of me being asexual or if it’s just because I feel guilty for thinking those kinds of thoughts. Tbh I think it’s because I repress out of guiltiness than anything.).

I think labels really do make me confused, since I just figured out that I’m probably a lesbian than a bisexual (but now that’s all being tossed into the washer LMFAO). Sigh. Because I have such an intense celebrity crush, I also can’t really think of having a crush on anyone irl rn anyway either HAHAH oh man, that’s kinda sad. But also I don’t want to use dating apps (I think even the thought is making me feel nauseous... I don’t know if it’s just generalized anxiety there, or if it’s because the idea of someone seriously liking me again is making me freaked out.), and obviously I’m not going out anywhere these days lol. But honestly the me feeling sick of the thought of using dating apps is making me wonder if I’m aromantic at this point. I’m tired by the thought of using the app, even though I don’t know why. Maybe because in general I guess there was no one super interesting on the app that I also found aesthetically who I liked... I think I’ve found my specific type in a way I guess lol, and they probably wouldn’t be on a dating app. But is that just me trying to avoid talking with people/ using dating apps because I secretly don’t even want to date anyone? And so I keep on going in circles. But I’m probably going in circles because thoughts like “oh but whAT IF SUBCONSCIOUSLY-” thoughts are valid but also if they’re subconscious/ secret/ not something I can detect, then how can I verify these thoughts? Do I just assume they’re true until they’re proven wrong? No, that’s not right either I feel. I don’t know.

Anyway... I think I might be somewhere on the aromantic spectrum. Demisexual sounds pretty accurate since I really do find platonic relationships super integral to my relationships (that are positive). I wonder if I might be lithoromantic just because of Alberto, but also I don’t know, the sample size isn’t that big I guess ha. Would I have liked him romantically if I became closer friends with him? Hm... Honestly I don’t know, but I feel like I was already pushing myself at that stage, and it wasn’t about to become “more” platonic. And def the photos reaction is probably the truth of what I feel. Umf, the discomfort was real. I didn’t feel acute relief after ending it, but maybe that was also suppressed, I don’t know. I guess the other thing that really irks me is that now whenever I think of any romantic relationship with myself and someone else, I don’t know if I really want it anymore...? Even watching wlw tiktok, I don’t even find some of the girls attractive (I find them aesthetically pretty and funny, but I’m really only sh00k by Dami at this point, idfk.). Maybe I’m also just gray-romantic or something. But also I don’t think it’s my fault that wlw tiktok is almost ALL white girls like.......... Eeee, not my type, I don’t know.... Maybe it’s because I can’t really relate to the white American experience so I don’t feel that I can be friends with them -> not attractive on the platonic level. I think that maybe for romantic attraction, I really do have to be able to vibe with them in a specifically introvert way. Maybe that’s why I got a crush on K (who, on retrospect, is kinda similar to Dami sanfjanwea but for real, maybe all of my girl crushes are all kinda introverted, alto-voiced, short, awkward Asians/ wlwoc. Oh man yeah, maybe that’s my type HAHAHA ummmm am I just trying to find people who are exactly like me rip.), but I really can’t get myself to be beyond appreciative for wlw tiktok sometimes. BUT ALSO that 1 tiktoker who’s like a top and is Asian? Woooow, like she def doesn’t seem like exactly my vibe but holy shit, yeah she was h0t af. Sigh, maybe it really is as simple as all this. Am I gray-romantic or is tiktok just white, oops-

Sigh. I really don’t know. My type is kinda specific, but maybe it’s not too specific. I guess I’ll just stay chill for now, at least until I go back to Vassar. Maybe I’ll find someone and/or make queer friends in my English seminar lol. I think until I a) form a crush on a girl and b) I am in a relationship with her/ them, I won’t really know the answer for if I’m vanilla aromantic or not I think. I think for now I’ll just say that I’m a demiromantic lesbian. That sounds more accurate. I don’t know if I’m lithromantic or vanilla aromantic just because I know that at least my female crushes felt pretty different... I don’t think I relate to the specific experience of aromantics to never knowing exactly what a crush is. I think I feel crushes, I just don’t maybe know how to describe it in my also demisexual-thrown-in way. And I think that that maybe makes me confused about if I’m just desiring a super close platonic relationship or something different/ romantic. But I guess assuming that there are strict categories between platonic and romantic feelings is also artificial. There IS a difference though... Or at least a range? Like I don’t know if I want to do romantic things with 3xA (esp R, since I had a floating crush?/squish? on S where I wanted to be like. Her BEST friend lmao. I don’t feel particularly threatened though now so maybe I don’t really feel bothered by it. Not to mention, if anyone is aromantic/ asexual it do be homegirl anyway so obviously no. She’s a great friend though so I think I’m pretty happy.) or like, my MD hs friends. Yeah that kinda makes me gag lol ngl. Not because they’re unaesthetic or anything, I just. Do not. It feels as wrong as like. Incest. Or just categories that do not be making sense. Uncomfortable to the max lol. So I guess I CAN tell it apart because I don’t mind doing romantic things with people I had crushes on who were girls (well, not H because. She was a yikes. But K, for example). I mean, obviously I would not do anything without their consent (and since it’s a no regardless, it doesn’t matter I guess), but if it was a yes, then it wouldn’t be nauseating like the idea of being with one of my close platonic friends. Like eeeeee no. Oof no no.

So okay, that clarifies things a bit I guess lmfao. So I think the differentiation is now being litho or demiromantic I guess. And that’s def something that I won’t know unless I’m in a relationship with someone else so I think that goes in the backburner until then. :/

Although maybe I have like a reverse demiromantic? In that I might be attracted to them, but I also HAVE to be super good friends with the person in order to validate and/or continue being attracted to them? Which is kinda wild ig lol. I know there’s something actually in the aspec microlabels that’s the “opposite of demi”, but it really just means that I would be attracted but then lose the attraction over time/ replace it with platonic feelings (whereas I don’t necessarily lose my attraction over time, I just need both romantic and platonic feelings).

Maybe romantic feelings is just the desire to be exclusive/ special in some way (or in the case of polyamory, special among a specific group). So like if there’s a spectrum of platonic to physical love, then romantic feelings is somewhere in the middle but... Sharing a relationship with someone specifically? Nah actually, this argument is falling apart though already with QPRs haha. I don’t know, it’s really still a mystery to me for how to define romantic feelings in a way that is entirely separate from platonic and romantic feelings. Maybe these labels are just wrong LOL is that too lazy of a way to end this argument.

#reflection

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topicprinter · 7 years

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I received quite a few PMs from people from my previous post talking about my apps I use for creating social media content asking me to link to the accounts.I was just going to respond to all of them, but I figured I'd go into a bit more detail about how and why I chose my niche and the journey up until today. Sorry for how long it took to write this!I gladly encourage constructive feedback and criticism and I also would like for anyone’s input on on monetization methods that I could implement to increase earnings.My brand is a community called Barista Life. Barista Life is a pretty tight-knit group of baristas from around the world, a majority of them work at Starbucks. I began the account while working as a Starbucks barista myself and studying Marketing in college. I had previously started countless websites (like over 55+ by the time I was 19), Instagram accounts, and tried to start so many businesses that didn't go anywhere and this was the first one that stuck and grew into something. Working at Starbucks for almost 5 years gave me a deep understanding of the "Barista Life," so to speak, which I believe is why I have been able to continue for so long.In the beginning, I was a complete stranger to running that type of account which meant I was self-teaching myself as I went along. Until then, the only type of Instagram account I was familiar with was posting to my personal account so with it, came a huge learning curve. This was about 3ish maybe 4 years ago now and I know now they shouldn't be, but things like not taking any images from the internet and reposting them without crediting the OP was foreign to me. In the beginning, I received a lot of very vocal criticisms from users in r/Starbucks about the account which I tried not to take to heart but knowing any better, it was discouraging because my intentions were only good from the get go. But I kept going and learned the ways of Instagram and social media.Growing the account turned out to be a bit easier back then than I've found it to be now. Since there was no other account like barista life in the barista niche, I credit a lot of early growth to word of mouth. My account was the first, semi-large account that took the lives of baristas and used social media/meme trends to capture each moment that baristas all around the world related to. Followers would see a post that hit home, go to work where they're working in close quarters and talking with other baristas all day, and just like that, BL would get 10+ new followers. That doesn't mean that it didn't take a TON of work on top of that to get the word out there.While still a small account, I relied on the followers of the @StarbucksPartners Instagram account to target. I would literally sit for hours upon hours on my phone just following everybody who had liked one of the StarbucksPartners IG posts. It was more of a logical choice, which I think applies to choosing any account that has your target group. I knew that pretty much the only people following the starbucks employee Instagram account had to work at Starbucks. And since I chose to follow only users who had liked a photo, I knew 2 things: they worked at Starbucks (so my notification wouldn't necessarily be unwelcomed) and that they had an active account (since they were liking photos). This was before the use of automation bots like Instagress and FollowLiker became so annoying and common that a notification from a random account wasn't looked at as spammy as it is now. I did the same thing with the Barista Life Pinterest, Tumblr and Twitter accounts as well. Back then I was using a Chrome & Firefox extension called "iMacros" which executes repetitive tasks, such as liking tweets and following users, based on a script of code you enter in. The learning curve with imacros was pretty annoying, but I finally got it figured out and I would follow users and like tweets until I hit the limit. I'd wait a day or so, then keep going. Again, I don't really recommend using this method today since IG, Facebook and Twitter are way more likely to straight up ban your account from spamming.With the Starbucks Partners IG account, was their hashtag "#ToBeAPartner." This was pretty much the same thought process as above. I thought, why would somebody use the official hashtag of the starbucks barista if they weren't a starbucks barista? This provided me with a pool of about 50k baristas to start with.As for creating content, I would literally go to work and think of every little thing I did throughout the day. Every thing that was funny, annoying, inconvenient, etc. every job, every drink, every order, every type of customer could be made into a post, meme, tweet or video. So as the days went on, I would just write a note in my phone of a post idea. Then, on my ten minute breaks and my 30 minute lunch break, I would create a post or a meme, then post it and go back to work. Every single shift. Then after work, I would park my car somewhere shady and secluded usually in a parking lot in the industrial center near my work, and work from my phone for at least an hour or two in my nice air conditioned car with a charger and music. It's actually my favorite place to work. Absolutely no distractions and the air conditioner is free, not to mention the driver seat is comfy AF. Creating content is easier than one would think when you ARE your demographic. My love for memes and making people laugh definitely made the process easier by knowing how to keep up with the trends and knowing when they died out.Personally, I was so heavily invested with starbucks that it was apparent due to the account's focus on Starbucks related content. I receive a lot of comments from users asking us to focus less on starbucks and more on baristas that work at other coffee shops. It is tough though, Starbucks is so heavily covered in the news and so many followers work there that branching out is challenging, but we are working on researching new topics and working with other, smaller coffee brands.We have used a lot of our Instagram posts to create valuable content from the comments. For example, we could post a question asking everybody for their best tips and advice for being a shift supervisor, then we take the comments, and use them as content for an article/guide on our website. We've also partnered with bigger blogs like Cosmopolitan.com to provide content by asking questions to our community in exchange for mentions and backlinks back to our site.My whole goal with the account started out as just a meme account to bash on the annoying things customers would do while ordering. While we still do have posts about "annoying customer habits" We've been working to evolve the account into a place where everybody can come and validate their feelings and connect with like-minded individuals.Since Barista Life is not affiliated with Starbucks or any other corporation, it gives us a bit of freedom in what we can post. A majority of my followers are all people my age, all working the same job, all interacting with the same types of people, all going through the same trials and tribulations. My goal has pivoted into making what it's like to be a barista just overall, better.By taking a bad day somebody had, adding some humor to it, and posting; people will read through the comments and realize that thousands of others are feeling the same way. It may not sound like much, but I'd say the most fulfilling thing about making people laugh and bringing people together is knowing that I'm making people smile and improving their lives, no matter how insignificantly I'm doing so.I did quit my job as a barista a few months ago, but while working there, I would run the account in secrecy from my coworkers since I was a shift supervisor and did not want the fact that I ran the account to change their opinion of me. While an employee of Starbucks, corporate knew who I was and knew I was the one running the account. I was frequently contacted by corporate in regards to some of the more 'inappropriate' posts, I guess you could say, and was asked to remove them. I complied. (Starbucks is not a company you want on your bad side)For those wondering and trying to find a niche to start an online business with, I truly believe it has to be something you are passionate about and something you know the ins and outs of, or you're going to have a very hard time pushing through the downs. Trust me, there are a lot of downs and times where I wanted to stop posting. I actually did stop posting for a few months back in the earlier days of the account, but eventually picked it back up and I'm glad I did.Some of the hardships and challenges I've noticed now are staying motivated and holding myself accountable to keep busy and always looking for ways to grow and expand the business. When you truly work for yourself, it can be very easy to get relaxed and not work as hard as you know you should be. I'll have weeks where I'll wake up at 7am and work non-stop until late in the night. But then I'll also have days where I wake up a bit later, and have a real hard time sitting down and getting work done when I know I don't HAVE to. I know I should, but there's nobody over your shoulder holding you accountable so you have to literally be your own boss, your own motivation, and when you're the business, If you take a day off, the business takes a day off.Another challenge I've faced is hiring and outsourcing the work so I can focus on growing the business. Whether the reason behind that is not being able to find people that fit, not having the extra capital to pay an employee, or in the case of social media & creating content, not being sure that who you hire will create content up to the standards of the brand. I know I need to because running this alone has proved to be quite difficult. There are so many different things I could devote my attention to, that it can get overwhelming.Monetizing MethodsStarting what is essentially a meme account comes with the challenges of creating an income for yourself to sustain the work involved. The barista life account makes money a few different ways.Private labeling productsWe sell our own merchandise on our website which is a Shopify-Hosted website (which I would recommend to anybody interested in creating an online store).We sell lanyards, lapel pins for Barista's aprons, Infuser water bottles, and our best seller is the PenPal. The PenPal is a clip-on retractable reel where a barista attaches their sharpie to and is always within reach. A big thing that I think I messed up on is not setting up my products with Amazon FBA. I figured that since the products are all at a pretty low price point, it wouldn’t be worth it to pay the Amazon FBA fees when I didn’t have much room. So, I do ALL of the packaging, fulfillment and shipping for every product that isn’t POD (Print on Demand). This takes up a lot of my time and I need to get FBA going.Affiliate SalesCreating articles and social media posts about products in the coffee niche with affiliate links to the amazon product page.Advertising RevenueWe don’t make too much from advertising. With the amount of views we get, we know we can definitely improve the revenue numbers. We use mainly Adsense and Facebook Instant Articles Audience Network.Merch by AmazonActually just got accepted to the Merch program. To date, we’ve sold about 25 shirts in a little under a month.Working with App CompaniesOur largest partnership is with an app company called Shyft. Shyft is an app for retail workers to post, pick up, and find coverage for their shifts at work. A barista is their target demographic so we promote their app to our community because we truly believe in it. Once you start promoting any product or service, it can dilute your brand and each promotion won't hold any weight. We recommend promoting products that you can personally vouch for.So, feel free to ask any questions or provide your feedback or your advice on how we can continue to monetize our following. I’d love and welcome all helpful ideas and thoughts.Instagram: @Barista_LifeTwitter: @BaristaLifeFacebook

#/r/entrepreneur #reddit

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gravelyotempo · 7 years

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I'm questioning and I'm pretty sure I'm bi but what were some of the signs you noticed that you liked girls if you don't mind me asking?

ohhhh boy well basically it took me like over a year to get from the first time i started having like a crush on an actual real life girl i knew to accepting that i wasnt straight/was bi (which im now not sure on but for the purposes of this) bc i was so like stuck on the idea that i didnt reaallly like her or that i just looked up to her/wanted her to like me bc i thought of her as cooler than me but basically in terms of this one girl which started it all it was a case of realising it was romantic/sexual:

-getting suddenly more nervous/excited when she came into class like i would be there waiting for her to arrive and instantly feel different when she did. i didnt really know what different was at first but there you go

-feeling like 10x more validated if any positive like idk affirmation came from her like i cared infinitely more about her opinion than anyone else even the other girls I wanted to be like

-basically just thinking not only about how beautiful/hot/smart/funny whatever they are but also about how you would be like with them if that makes sense? Like I wouldn’t just think wow that lipstick looks good on her but damn wish shed kiss me w that lipstick on put that shit all over my neck

-people would say ‘do you like anyone who would you date’ and I would instantly think of her and worry people would like figure it out somehow

-I would have really detailed ideas/fantasies I guess about dates and stuff like I would glance at her and have this whole evening planned

-ahh she was just so beautiful like I would just not actually be able to stop looking at her but also not look directly at her bauidbw

-when u get paired for a group project and you hear your names together and you feel the bass drop in ur stomach…..

-in this case she had a girlfriend which made me like relieved that she was gay but also incredibly jealous and insecure and like… no I didn’t really know I was queer at this point but I knew I cared a lot about lgbt rights and id always been quite a zealous ally lol so for me to see them together and feel bad was a big indicator for me bc everyone would talk about how cute they were together and id be like nah fuck that other girl lol

-I would always have very like vague fantasies/thoughts when it came to thinking about sex bc I wouldnt have specific guys or acts in mind but like crushing on this girl I would think a lot more specifically if u get me………….

Then the basically once I allowed myself to sort of realise I wasn’t just an overenthusiastic like open minded ‘well I wouldn’t say never!!’ Ally I started noticing these like signs of attraction so much more when it came to girls and more with people I met irl than just wow isn’t Natalie dormer so hot u know like

Just letting them pass on the street and getting a kick out of it

The girl serving me in a bakery and id just go oooh hi

This girl I worked with who tbh laughed at everything but ah it felt so good making her laugh and I didn’t even have a proper crush on her just wanted to make girls laugh

Then theres like celeb crushes like …….. I got it really really R eally bad for jasmine cep has jones and like to me that was obviously attraction bc again jealousy (all these people who post jaj content but are obsessed w her an Anthony like no I’m trine pretend she’s my gf lol leave me Be) and also like w male celeb ‘crushes’ id had before Id like watch interviews and stuff and be like oh they’re smart funny whatever but w my ‘girl crushes’ it would be like an ig pic or jasmines voice or that Natalie dormer shoot where she’s getting out of the pool u know the one and id lie…. Legitimately have a jaw drop moment wiufbi

U know like to me attraction is just a feeling like an instant recognition of someone as oooh they’re different they’re special like u just Notice them and sit a little straighter and get that energy thats like calming but adrenaline you know??? Thats ahhhh nervous but also like ur insides are smiling and keep glancing back at them like ahhhh did she see

Like when I see a cute girl I’m just like ooooo nice

U said you’re pretty sure so I would say honestly once you start to accept ur feelings as legit you will probably start to notice it more and more and like recognise those feelings more? Bc tbh I don’t think I recognised my own attraction like how I feel when I like someone before this girl bc I hadn’t had a crush as strong as that (except for guys when I was younger which I’m now not sure on but whatever)

Its v hard to explain but hopefully this was in some way helpful? Feel free to ask anything more specific if it wasn’t!

Good luck my friend Idk about you but questioning was a proper quagmire of overthinking and paranoia for me and still is tbh so I hope ur alright and get to a point where ur sure and happy!! x

#ask #advice

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