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cilliankelly · 3 years

Text

text 📱 cillian & ellie.

Discord text thread featuring: cillian & @robinscnfm

When: december 25th

Mentions: @judetaylorhq @loganstjames @iitsace

Description: ellie texts cillian to wish him merry xmas. they discuss their relationships and ellie encourages cillian to try and be better, but for himself, not for anyone else.

Trigger Warnings: insecurities galoooore but i think that’s it.

ellie.

merry christmas dumbass 🤩 hope u had a good time and that your leg is better ❤️ you’re awesome buddy

Cillian

thanks els bells

i know i don’t always act like i do, but i really do appreciate you and shit. thanks for everything and merry christmas

also i’m sorry about your couch

ellie.

i know you do ❤️ no problem. I really did take you in just to do you a solid, buddy

no problem 😂

i might not even need to get one. Yknow, logan asked me to move in and if i do, probably the less furniture the better. U know i have enough shit as it is lmao

Cillian

👀

does this mean you’re seriously considering it?

moving in with the boyfriend?

ellie.

honestly? I kind of am

i have until mid january to think about it

and i like his apartment, plus our schedules don’t always line up because he has a day job and i have a morning job and a night job, which makes hanging out impossible sometimes

Cillian

these all seem like very sensible conclusions

ellie.

They are. I mean. Its kind of scary im ngl

Cillian

definitely scary. but good i think.

ellie.

im not used to living with anyone which definitely freaks me out

and u know i love my crappy ass apartment

but.... its also exciting idk

Cillian

no i totally get it.

i mean it’s a little different for me bc until recently i didn’t really feel like i ever had a home

but it’s nice. it’s big and it’s kind of scary but it’s also really great.

ellie.

ohhhh wait wait 👀

are u moving in w .. someone?

its such a nice apartment too im ngl

and he doesnt let me pay for anything which wasnt an issue when we were 18 but now it makes me feel ✨very guilty✨

Cillian

fuck tell me about it

and i mean... yeah. he gave me a key for christmas

ellie

omg im so happy for you!!!!

thats so so awesome

fuckin scary too but im excited for u

Cillian

thanks. i desperately trying to not fuck it up anymore than i already have. but i feel good about it.

ellie.

he wants to marry me

Cillian

holy shit

i know you guys dated in high school but you’ve been together how long?

ellie.

a fuckin MOOD but hes lucky to have u. Yall are a good match

Cillian

wow thanks. that’s actually like, good to hear.

i kind of feel like i magically won the best friend/boyfriend lottery or something

ellie.

this time around? About a month. Overall? Like almost three years

but no. What he said was that he still had the ring he’d bought back then

and that he wanted to give it to me whenever i was ready to be asked

it fuckin scares me how much he loves me idk what i did to deserve it

U SAID BOYFRIEND

Cillian

sounds like we really are in the same boat

wait what

ellie.

im so happy

yeah we are. Idk ive never been with anyone who loved me so... up front and decisively

Cillian

it’s fucking terrifying

ellie.

it is

Cillian

like i’m really happy???? but i look at him and my chest gets all tight and all i can think about is how much it’s gonna suck to lose him.

also i’m a bit buzzed on wine right now and this conversation is staying RIGHT HERE eleanor.

i have a rep to maintain

ellie.

THATS LOVEEEEE CILLIANNN

and idk im conflicted. He told me he wanted to pick it up where we left off and i told him i wanted to take it slow, and he agreed

and i do want to take it slow....... but oof falling back to the place where we used to be before It happened has been so easy its fuckin scary

Cillian

and oh my god shut uuuuuuuuuuup

i can’t even imagine.

ace is back in town and that’s been... weird

ellie.

IM NOT GONNAAAA U LOOOVE UR BF

my resolve to go slow with him is getting weaker and weaker i am such a mess

i know. I think i saw her the other day. Hows everything on that front?

Cillian

i don’t know. fine? a little awkward. i don’t have feelings for her still but like. i see her and it reminds me how shitty i was. and still am.

ellie.

and dont worry. Yes people leave but not the ones that really love you.... and i have a feeling u found it

Cillian

i think it’s really bumming him out that like... nobody knows we’re... together.

ellie.

yeah why is that?

Cillian

i don’t know...

telling people makes it like... real.

and jude thinks that by not telling people it makes it easier for me to take it all back and regress or whatever

but i just... ellie i’m like positive that i’m gonna fuck this up. and i don’t know if i want to share it. with anyone really. not when it’s this good.

i don’t know if that makes any sense

ellie.

but its important to him

Cillian

he says it’s fine but i know it’s not.

ellie.

and listen

theres a strong possibility you WILL fuck it up and theres also a strong possibility that you will NOT fuck it up. No one knows.

and theres a possibility that he’ll fuck it up

or maybe something else will come in between you two and pull you apart

no one fucking knows ok dude

Cillian

jesus ellie, not making this any easier over here

ellie.

and you’re wasting the sweetest part of a relationship by thinking about the end

so like. The most u can do is stop thinking so far ahead, stop getting in your own way, and every day make the conscious decision to show him you love him and to not to fuck it up. Thats all any of us can do

Cillian

i don’t deserve him, i really don’t.

i’ve never felt so useless in my entire life.

ellie.

youre not useless

but i get you, i really do

Cillian

i can’t even fucking walk correctly. i can’t work. i can’t do anything

and i don’t know that i’ve ever like, really wanted to be better. but fuck. he deserves more than this.

ellie.

no no dont think like that

if you want to do anything about becoming more educated or some shit like that you have to do it for YOU because YOU deserve better

Cillian

it was hard enough the first time around. i’m just not cut out for it.

ellie.

i just think you havent found the right motivation

Cillian

and what’s that? the right motivation?

ellie.

idk how to describe it

like when i was in college i would think about graduating and being independent and it got me through boring classes and shit like that

so yeah. maybe what you need is motivation

Cillian

i know this is dumb. and it’s gonna get me an eye roll or something. but it’s just so much easier... to not.

ellie.

no its not dumb

but like. sometimes the things that are worth it arent the easy ones

Cillian

i just don’t want to fail again.

ellie.

bad news, youre gonna

Cillian

you’re all sunshine and rainbows this evening

ellie.

im tipsyyy

and also giving it to u straight

ur gonna fail bc failing is just. part of the human experience

but !! ur also gonna succeed my dude

Cillian

i guess you don’t know if you don’t try.

ellie.

also idk i think ur fear is valid and it happens to me too

so i just think itd be bullshit to tell u like <3 ur not gonna fail <3 everything will work out <3

Cillian

yeah. i wouldn’t believe you if you said that anyways.

ellie.

yeah exactly so like

the best thing i can say is that when you think that youre gonna fail just. try to think the opposite

Cillian

easier said than done

but i appreciate the advice

ellie.

yeah i know it is

no problem buddy <3 anytime

#texts → cillian & ellie #discord #i love these two sm

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btstrashxoxox · 6 years

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Prompt 5? scenario??

I feel like in so many fics, stories, novels etc theres rarely ever a representation of bigger ppl, like theres rarely a romance story where the character is like overweight, theyre usually hot characters and as someone who has little to no self confidence myself lool itd be nice to read a fic where the mc is stuggling with their physical appearance and they slowly overcome this inner struggle with the help of their partner, yes maybe by losing weight and stuff cuz thats being healthy, but NOT like the character lost all their weight and became sexy and “worth loving” or shit, like itd be nice to just read a fic where its genuinely focused on the way their body is now and how they learn to love themselves and understand that they are just as worthy for love as anyone else So i was thinking of this au where you are an overweight person maybe lets say 75 to 80 kg or more watever u choose and have struggled with it all ur life

Uve always been the chubby one in ur family and it kind of stayed like that progressing as u got older and shit

And ur family has always picked fun at u about it not in like a spiteful way kind of like in the way where theyre teasing u but theres a hint of truth behind it And u try to not let it bother u but it does anyway and ur self esteem and confidence isnt exactly up there

And ur one of those romantic saps and just rlly want someone to love u and u imagine all the different things u cud do with ur boyfriend but u dnt think ull ever hav that becuz of ur weight and self confidence issues

Anyways so i imagine u to be in ur like 20s maybe mid 20s idk basically an age where ur living by urself in a small apartment and hav a job etc So one day ur walking home alright, cuz u missed the bus home and u were like okay ill start walking for now and maybe another bus will come as im walking to the next stop And so ur walking with ur earbuds in, listening to music wen all of a sudden someone running bumps into u harshy from behind and u lose ur balance starting to fall, completely startled And the guy who bumped into u stops in his tracks with his wide eyes and comes rushing bak to help u up and ur like mad pissed cuz like fuck that hurt and wtf watch where ur going

But hes apologizing and is like im so sorry im just in a rlly big rush and i didnt rlly see u there and i rlly hav to go now cuz im running late

And ur trying to keep up with wat hes saying cuz everything is just happening so fast and ur still dazed with ur palms stinging from scraping the ground

And then hes leaving screaming over his shoulder saying im rlly srry! My names taehyung (i imagine him as taehyung but anyone who wants to write this can use whomever) and i wrk over at that bakery down the street, come down there and i promise to giv a free treat as an apology and then just like that hes gone and ur still like wtf just happened

And u continue on with ur day, kind of annoyed, but u get home and just relax and get some food and watch some tv

so a few days pass and everythings normal and fine, until one day ur running late and so u hav no time to make breakfast before u leave to work and then u remember that a new bakery opened up near ur workplace and so ull just buy something from there and so u get ready and rush out the door

and then u get to the area and enter the bakery and its all cute with a pink theme and little cupcake and cake and brownie decorations and its all sweet and ur just admiring the place untill u remember fuck im running late

and so u quickly go to the counter and u greet the cashier with a smile and ur like hi can i just get a quick muffin, im running late and need to hurry and the cashier with a nametag saying jimin is all smiles too and is like of course! wat wud u like

and u look over at the display and see these amazing delicious looking muffins and a bunch of other goodies and u see a big double chocolate muffin that looks mouth watering anf u rlly want it but then u get self conscious and start thinking that shit if i order that hes probably gonna think of course the fat one wud order the fat filled treat and so u kind of show a small smile and order the banana and nut muffin instead wen all of a sudden u hear someone call out

and u look behind jimin and see the guy who had bumped into u the other day and ur like oh…

and taehyung rushes up to u and is like hi! i was wondering wen u were gonna come in for ur treat! im rlly rlly srry about the other day, i was running late and my boss seokjin wud murder me if i came in late one more time and he smiles his rectangular smile at u

and u giv him a wary smile and reply a bit confused cuz u hav no idea wat he means by treat and then jimin comes bak with ur muffin and is like here u go! and ur like thanks! and startt giving him ur money wen tae reaches out and is like watre u doing! i said u get a free treat!

and ur like huh? and then he looks at ur order and hes like a banana muffin?! why dnt u try one that i made?

and he ignores jimin whos looking at tae with exasperation and reaches out with the littl tongs and gets that chocolate muffin u were eyeing before and plops that into ur mufin bag as well and at this point ur sort of overwhelmed and u try to refuse cuz ur thinking that u rlly dnt need those extra calories

ut tae refuses and is like its on me, i rlly owe u, and at this point ur srsly running late and so u giv him a smile and say thank u so much and quickly leave the bakery with a bye and ur food and quickly make ur way to ur workplace

and then wen u finally sit down at ur seat and try to regulate ur breathing, u take out ur food to stop the growling from ur stomach and take a bite out of the chocolate muffin and u moan cuz fuck that shits rlly fricking good and probably the best muffin uve ever had and proceed to devour it (and u tell urself that thats already a lot of calories and so i cant eat the banana muffin too, but end up eating it later on not able to resist it)

and u knew that u were definitely gonna go to the bakery more often cuz that place makes heavenly food

and so a few days pass and one day on a day off u go out with ur friend and her boyfriend and u loved spending time with them but seeing all their cute interactions set this longing feeling deep in ur gut and u get sad becuz u rlly wished u had someone like that but u cant help but feel thats never gonna happen

and so to try and make urself feel better u decide to go to the bakery again and get something to lift ur mood

and so u enter the bakery and breathe in the wonderful yummy smell and wait in line to order something wen u hear a familiar voice calling out hey

and u look towards the voice and see taehyung next to a tall broad shouldered man behind the counters looking like they were baking something and hes waving at u wen the man beside him slaps him upside the head and tell him to continue wrking as tae pouts and u cant help but let out a little laugh at that becuz its funny and cute

and then u get to the counter and its jimin again and he givs u a big smile and greets u and asks wat ull hav today and u look to the side to see the differnt assortments they have wen taehyung calls out again saying

try the strawberry shortcake! i made it this mrning!

and then proceeds to earn another glare from the man beside him

and jimin lets out an exasperated laugh and is like srry, ignore tae u can get watever u want of course and ur amused and ur like its fine, i dnt mind i like strawberry and so u decide to go with the recommendation and order the shortcake along with a small hot chocolate with little marshmallows while taehyung beams at u which u return with a chuckle

and then u take ur food and sit at a little booth on the side next to the window and take a bite out of the cake and u cant help but moan at the flavours becuz holy crap how can something be so good

and so u enjoy ur treat and then drink ur hot choclate wen tae comes up to u with a smile

and he sits across u at the table and ur looking at him confused cuz ummm….

and hes like soooooo howd u like the cake? and the muffin i made the other day? its good huh?

and u laugh and ur like i loved them both and u compliment him saying hes an amazing baker and u introduce urself and u guys make small talk and u learn that being a full time baker and opening his own bakery is his dream and the first step to that is becoming an apprentice for his boss seokjin whos also an amazing cook

and u listen to him ramble, honestly surprised at how open hes being with u since u guys are technically strangers

and then he gets called bak by jimin saying his break is over

and its safe to say that ur mood definitely changed for the better and u smile to urself even after he leaves cuz tht was nice

and uk thts how i imagine u guys start to get knowing eachother, u visit the bakery often and talk to tae often and u guys become closer and rlly good friends and its already been a few months since u got to know him and the others at the bakery

and i imagine tae to be a lil shit sometimes constantly winking at u and flirting and tbh u dnt rlly realize it at first becuz flirting? with u? pshh

and then one day u go to ur parents place where ur family was meeting up for a bbq and u were having a good time cuz u missed ur fam

but then ur mom takes u aside and starts talking about ur weight and shes saying how shes wrried about ur weight and about how shes wrried that ull hav trouble finding a life long partner wen ur not healthy and uk shes just concerned for u but it leaves u feeling rlly depressed and u try ur best to hold in ur tears for the rest of the day

and then u finally leave and ur making ur way home, ur head down, chanting in ur head to hold in the tears ur almost home, just hold it in, just hold it in when all of a sudden u hear a familiar voice calling out to u

and he runs up to u and hes like hi! howre u doing?!

and u rlly try to hold it in bcuz taes so sweet and u think that he doesnt need to hear about ur problems but hes smiling so warmly at u and u cudnt hold in ur tears anymore

and taes shocked like hey wats wrong? and he hold onto ur shoulders and u cover ur face cuz fucking great just cry and make urself look like an ugly fat slob with snot everywhere and u feel this hate for urself and taehyung slowly pulls u into a hug and hes trying to soothe u saying its okay its okay

and he ends up bringing u home and u try to tell him ur fine and that he doesnt need to come with u but he refuses to leave u

and then u enter ur place and he sits on the couch with u and hes like im here to listen if u want

and taehyungs such a sweetie and even tho u havnt known him for long, hes become one of ur closest friends and so u spill and tell him wat happened at ur family bbq and u tell him that uk ur fat and unattractive to which he immediately stops u and is like stop no

and he tells u ur beautiful regardless of ur weight and he tells u that honestly he personally thinks its wonderful that u enjoy food and as a baker himself nothing makes him happier than seeing someone enjoy food (especially wen its his) and he tells u that theres someone out there for u becuz ur wonderful and amazing and any guy wud be lucky to hav u as a partner and then he pinches ur cheek and says besides uk how adorable u look? ur cheeks are so cute and he grabs both ur cheeks and pinches

and ur heart is so fond and warm and ur so grateful for having someone like tae in ur life and ur cheeks are red (both from wat tae said and his pinches lool) and u playfully grab his hands and try to pull them off whine at him to stop

and so i can imagine u guy contining to get closer and ur crush on him develops and tae continues to bake things always trying new things and feeding them to u first

and as time passes u like him more and more and the rest of the guys at the bakery smirk at u and tae cuz they know wats going on ;) and they try to convince tae behind the scenes to finally ask u out and tae gets red in the face and stutters and they do the same to u and u turn rlly red and ur like wat? tae wudnt like me tho, to which the other boys groan at cuz like woman how can u be blind to taes constant flirting?

and then he finally does ask u out at one point and ur so fucking happy and u think its a dream

and he helps u gain confidence always murmuring sweet things into ur ears and ughhhlsbfalusid its so cuteeewbuebwujd;

and so yea lmao god this turned out more as a mini scenario than a prompt lmao, well anyone can rewrite this!!! add their own twists to it or watever just remmeber to add credits if u do haha!

well i hope u enjoyed!! byeeee <3 <3

#bts #bangtan boys #bangtan sonyeondan #taehyung scenario #jimin #seokjin #prompt #scenario #writing prompt #fluff #bakery!au #baker!taehyung #baker seokjin #plus size reader #taehyung #reader insert #angst #self consciousness #cute

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