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#but i hate to break it to you buddy the general consensus is that your dad is pretty hot . your father pulls . FHGFHJKLDF
bravevolunteer · 9 months
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michael is pretty but in the feral sleep deprived kind of way. he's pretty like a man who is essentially a sopping wet cat in the rain. and yes i DO think that should be acknowledged.
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acenancy · 3 years
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The Ace x Nancy x Tamura of It All
I’m here as a hardcore Nace shipper (see the URL) to throw my two cents into the Ace x Nancy x Tamura discussion.
Some of you straight up hate Tamura and that’s cool, I get it, no judgement, but I personally like him a lot as a character. And I LOVE the connection he and Nancy have. Their repartee is entertaining, they share a passion for solving mysteries which is key to being Nancy’s friend, and their very different life experiences help balance each other out. 
You know, since one of them is grounded in reality and the other is navigating through life in a supernaturally charged hellmouth.
That being said, I hope they grow closer during S3 WITHOUT becoming explicitly romantic. And I think that may be exactly what happens! At most, I think that while solving magical mysteries, Nancy and Tamura will engage in a fun little flirtationship  that will lead to genuine friendship. His partnership with Nancy would be solidified this way as well as his honorary membership to the Drew Crew. This could serve three purposes: 
Forcing Tamura to accept the supernatural elements of Horseshoe Bay, thus weaving him more intricately into the plot.
Creating tension between Nancy and Ace 😏
Exploring and adding depth to whatever sort of relationship they’re trying to establish between Tamura and Ace.
I see all of this playing out fairly simply: while Nick and George are busy juggling real life and a wedding, while Bess devotes her time and energy into researching her family history and finding love, and while Ace prioritizes Amanda, Nancy finds herself without proper backup. So! Perhaps unintentionally, Nancy gravitates to Tamura. There's crimes and mysteries to be solved and since her friends are not fully available to her, who better to turn to than the guy who’s job it is to investigate these things? And so begins the Nancy and Tamura buddy cop comedy that is both dreaded and highly anticipated depending on what social media outlet you’re using.
Though let me repeat: BUDDY COP. 
I really don’t think we’re going to have an Ed and Lorraine Warren situation on our hands with these two. Truly, if the S2 finale is anything to go by, I think S3 will allow Nancy to grow into herself outside of a romantic or sexual relationship. She’s not running from herself and into someone else’s bed anymore. She’s embracing and learning to love herself. I’d even go so far as to say Nancy’s love interest next season will be...Nancy lmao. 
As for Tamura, if they decide to give him a romantic interest, I think they would either have his ex-fiancée reenter the picture or maybe even do him dirty and stick him with Temperance for plot reasons. A doomed Tamura x Temperance romance would actually be fun to see, in my opinion, and would be a great way to open Tamura’s eyes to the supernatural. That’s just me spit-balling, though. Whether it’s because of Temperance or not, I think Tamura is finally going to have to accept ghosts and witches and magic are real this season. It’s just a requirement for working with Nancy Drew.
MOST IMPORTANTLY, we have to address the Nace of it all. Sorry to Tamura but I do believe you’re being used as an obstacle in True Love’s way next season. I think fandom’s general consensus is that the more time Nancy and Tamura spend together, romantic or not, the more jealous Ace will become. While I agree, I think Ace’s jealousy will stem from somewhere a little deeper than just seeing Nancy with another guy. 
Take Gil, for example. Ace was sort of jealous of Gil, but more than anything he was wary of him and concerned for Nancy’s wellbeing when she was with him. Unlike Ace, Gil never had anything to offer Nancy except for sex and a getaway car. He sure as hell was never her number one person. In fact, he wasn’t even Nancy’s number five person. There was never a reason for Ace to be envious of him.
Tamura, on the other hand, can prove to be just as much of an equal to Nancy as Ace is. As chief/lead detective, he also has power and influence that Ace and Nancy do not, and access to people and resources that Ace does not have (unless he can hack into them). Tamura can help Nancy bend and break the law without consequence if need be, too. And, although naive in regards to the mystics of Horseshoe Bay, he is just as smart as Nancy and has, on the rare occasion, even been one step ahead of her. Tamura is an asset, to say the least. Together, he and Nancy make a formidable duo.
That’s what will make Ace jealous. More than the prospect of romance between Nancy and Tamura, I think that Nancy finding another intellectual match is what will rub Ace the wrong way. They’ll find themselves at a brief moment in time where Nancy will turn to Tamura for assistance before anyone, including Ace, and Ace will realize he absolutely hates that someone who is not him is Nancy’s partner in crime now.
Maybe Nancy won’t notice, but Ace will probably realize his love for her is not of the philia sort. I’m sure Amanda also will. And? Maybe Tamura will see it too.
Which brings me to one of my favorite dynamics of the show: Ace and Tamura’s.
I’m not gonna sit here and spin my crazy conspiracy theory that they’re brothers. Though that idea will always hold a special place in my heart, slowly but surely I am accepting that Ace’s long lost brother really is Grant. I’m being a total grownup about it. I swear.
Nevertheless, I do think they’ve been trying to build some kind of relationship between Ace and Tamura since before Tamura even met Nancy. What sort of relationship? God, I wish I knew.
They meet each other first, which doesn’t necessarily mean a lot, but it’s worth noting that they’re on each other’s funny little shit lists before Nancy even enters Tamura’s picture. It’s also Ace and Ace alone that hears from McGuinness that Tamura will be replacing him in the same episode. Then, of course, we have that crazy Shabbat dinner in 2x03 that exacerbates their antagonistic relationship further. Then there’s their snarky banter and all of those totally unnecessary side-by-side shots of them saving Noah in 2x10. Apart from Nancy, Ace is the only member of the Drew Crew that we’ve seen Tamura develop a real connection with, even if it is an unfriendly one. And, as of now, their relationship doesn’t even have anything to do with Nancy.
So where are the writers going with this hilarious and hostile bond between Ace and Tamura? Has all of this really just been buildup for a romantic rivalry? Hey, maybe! I really can’t figure out another reason why the writers have gone out of their way to create their dynamic since the Brother Theory has been disproven. But something tells me this may be the beginning of a beautiful friendship.
And when I say “this”, I mean Tamura taking a step back from Nancy once he realizes he may just be filling in the love of her life’s shoes. Because that’s where I think all of this is going. Not necessarily anywhere romantic between Nancy and Tamura, but somewhere more friendly between Tamura and everyone.
At the end of it all, Tamura is going to finally embrace the supernatural, he’s going to become an ally to Nancy, Ace, and the rest of the Drew Crew, and, when the timing is right, he’s going to hop onboard the Nace ship with the rest of us. 
I HOPE.
Side note: this is just where my head is at. I truly respect all of your opinions and ask that you respect mine too. If you agree with what I’ve said and want to talk, let’s talk! If you disagree and want to talk, we can talk too! Please, just don’t get nasty with me. This is a television show about fictional characters at the end of the day, and I am a real person. Much love to you all. ❤️
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letsbreakhearts · 4 years
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Rules and Muses
Before interacting, there are a few things you have to consider before approaching me:  
First things first: Mun =/= muse! The most important rule of mine, because I do write about all kind of dark and disturbing topics, since I have no trigger whatsoever and like to explore the depth of mankind's cruelty in fiction. Obviously said content is tagged as tw:(name of the trigger) and therefore easily manageable with the right tools. If this still rubs you the wrong way, because you either are a prude puretist, really easily triggered to past trauma, or simply not able of separating fiction from reality, I ask you politely to stop reading here and leave this blog instantly. Consider yourself warned. Any further consumption of this blog’s content is on you, mate. 
All heavy topics in threads need some upfront plotting, to keep it all consensual. I don’t want to accidentally throw someone off. Plotting in general is always preferred.
This blog is nsfw by default. Minors and Personals get blocked most of the time.
All ships are welcome, but I obviously have my favourites and some I never wrote before definitely need more plotting than those I write on a regular basis. 
Reasons for me to unfollow/soft block you: Your rules say: If you write “xy” I will not follow/block you; You are literally spamming my dash with personal/ooc posts; You post/share a lot of negativity and whining; You share anon hate, instead of just turning the anon function off, aka get involved in drama that is easily avoided; You participate in call out culture; OOC political commentary/activism and other non-rp related stuff that I don’t want on my rp dash; Ship bashing and kinkshaming; You turn out to be an Anti of some sort; You share any hate for the character or actors I write as/use as FC. Disclaimer: You are of course free to do whatever you want with your blog, as I am free to avoid your blog without any reason given.
If you ever feel the need to unfollow or block me, just do it. No explanation needed.
If I lose interest in interacting with you, I will unfollow and most likely softblock, or even hardblock you without any reason given. Please don’t take this too personal.
What does private mean: I have my fav mutuals who occasionally get more replies than others. Plus I am very hesitant about following new people unless you offer me something I hadn’t found a partner for before. On this note, If you approach me first, I want you to have a vague idea what you want to write with whom of my muses and some time and creativity to plot a little bit beforehand. 
I have the right to not interact with you without any reason given. 
Don’t reblog any of my self written ooc posts and psas. Same goes for rps you aren’t taking a part in. 
Asks and memes are no longer my main focus. Do not spam my ask box but rather plot with me via IM please. 
I do all lengths of threads. I also tend to edit my posts and use icons but my writing partner don’t have to. Edit your post after your own liking, or not at all.
Muses with the same FC, as well as duplicates are welcome obviously.
I don’t do passwords!
My IM is open for plotting.
For those who are interested in such things: Hello, I’m Fuchs, a lazy German hobby artist and writer. English isn’t my first language and I procrastinate A LOT. On top of that I sometimes just need ages to be happy with the stuff I write. Short: Please be patient with me, if you see me online but don’t reply right away. I also tend to have a lot of threads. So please don’t ask me to reply faster. Not gonna happen.
Muses
BOLD = Mains || Italic = only as request || Others: Available but not always muse for
Detroit: Become Human
Gavin Reed (D:BH)
RK900 (D:BH)
Leo Manfred (D:BH)
Markus (D:BH)
Daniel (D:BH)
Cole Anderson (D:BH)
Hank Anderson (D:BH)
Connor (D:BH)
60 (D:BH)
Captain Allen (D:BH)
Marvel
Tony Stark (MCU)
Quentin Beck (MCU)
Steve Rogers  (MCU)
Peter Parker (Tom) (MCU)
Peter Parker (Andrew) (Sony)
Peter Quill  (MCU)
Frank Castle  (MCU)
Scott Lang (MCU)
Eddie Brock (“MCU”)
Benjamin PointDEXter  (MCU)
Flash Thompson (MCU)
Bucky Barnes (MCU)
Erik Lehnsherr  (MCU)
Harley Keener (MCU)
Peter Parker (Tobey) (Sony)
Peter B. Parker (MCU)
Brock Rumlow (MCU)
Sherlock BBC
Sebastian Moran (Sherlock BBC)
John Watson (Sherlock BBC)
Witcher 
Jaskier
Geralt of Rivia 
The Boys
Homelander (The Boys)
William Billy Butcher(The Boys)
The Walking Dead
Marlon (TWD Tell Tale)
Negan (TWD)
Rick Grimes (TWD)
Shane Walsh  (TWD)
Daryl Dixon  (TWD)
Carl Grimes(TWD)
Star Trek
James T. Kirk (Star Trek)
Leonard H. McCoy (Star Trek)
Star Wars
Poe Dameron (Star Wars)
Kylo Ren  (Star Wars)
General Hux  (Star Wars)
Finn (Star Wars)
Stranger Things
Billy Hargrove (Stranger Things)
Steve Harrington (Stranger Things)
Jim Hopper (Stranger Things)
Uncharted
Rafe Adler (Uncharted)
Sam Drake  (Uncharted)
Nathan Drake  (Uncharted)
Red Dead Redemption
Arthur Morgan (RDR2)
John Marston  (RDR2)
Far Cry
John Seed (FC5)
Joseph Seed  (FC5)
Jacob Seed  (FC5)
Staci Pratt  (FC5)
Men in Black
Agent H (MIB International)
Life is Strange
Nathan Prescott (LIS)
Sean Eduardo Diaz  (LIS)
Daniel Diaz (LIS)
Until Dawn
Joshua Washington (Until Dawn) 
Christopher Hartley(Until Dawn) 
Michael Munroe(Until Dawn) 
The Dragon Prince
High Mage Viren (The Dragon Prince) 
Crownguard Soren (The Dragon Prince) 
King Harrow (The Dragon Prince) 
James Bond
James Bond / 007 (FC: Daniel Craig) 
Kingsman
Gary “Eggsy” Unwin (Kingsman) 
The Nice Guys
Holland March (The Nice Guys) 
Blade Runner
K /Joe (Blade Runner 2049)
Man of Medan
Conrad (Man of Medan)
Blair Witch
Ellis (Blair Witch) 
Baby Driver
Buddy 
Breaking Bad
Saul Goodman
Jesse Pinkman
Walter White
Michael “Mike” Ehrmantraut
Todd Alquist
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cinnbar-bun · 5 years
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Gakuen Fantasy
A/n: Hi did you know I like making AU’s at 11 PM??? Also this was inspired by me playing too many otomes. 
Edit: thank you Discord for helping me with Siegfriend, Lancey, and Seruel. 
Welcome to Phantagrande High, where people of all shapes, sizes, and powers are invited to hone in their skills and talents. As the new Language Arts teacher recruited to the school, you must adjust to the hectic lifestyle of some of the most insane personalities you have ever met. Although...maybe you could learn a thing or two from those romantic stories you’ve been teaching and spice up your love life? 
Romanceable Options~
The Wise and Calm Principal, Lucifer: The man who started this whole new mess for you. Ever the diplomat, he has a way with words and can seemingly diffuse any situation with one phrase alone. All the faculty and students respect him dearly, and in turn, he respects them as well. But he hasn’t been known to get too close to anyone romantically, perhaps you could change all that? 
The Blunt and Fearless Vice-Principal, Sandalphon: Although he may act like he hates his job, he takes it quite seriously. Many students fear him for the simple fact he has such a short fuse and will blow up on anything. The faculty isn’t all too scared, knowing he’s just a sensitive guy on the inside (and they can’t help but make jabs at him after he took the coffee machine into his office). Ever the hard-head, he’s never experienced love before, and he sure as hell will never admit that aloud (even though it’s quite obvious). But that can change once he softens up with a bit of your love. 
The Sadistic and Ruthless Biology Teacher, Lucilius: This man is one that EVERYONE fears. Even Lucifer has been trying to get him fired. Rumors spread around that he eats children who fail his class or dissects those who chew gum in his class. He has a fascination with the world around him and loves conducting research over everything he can get his hands on. He also gets a bit too excited over dissections. It also doesn’t help that he has a short temper and expects perfection from his students, who all cry at least three times in his class. He takes no shit and hands out insults like greetings, so if he tends to take a jab at you, ignore him. But what’s hiding under that cold front he puts up (answer: an even bigger asshole)
The Raunchy and Suave A&P Teacher, Belial: If shameless was ever a person, it would be Belial. He has no qualms about flirting with everything that breathes (DON’T WORRY HE’S NOT FLIRTING WITH THE CHILDREN!! HE HAS SOME BOUNDARIES OVER HERE!!) but he seems to have taken a liking to you. He’s quite popular with some of the female students (for some inexplicable reason) and he loves messing with the other three men on top. What’s the point of life without taking some risks? But are you prepared to handle this absolute demon of a man? Maybe you’ll find something worthy under the messy persona he plays up? 
The Kind and Sweet Home Ec Teacher, Vane: This man is absolutely perfect, every girl (and guy) will admit. Although he’s not too bright, he makes up for it with his big heart (that really accentuates his chest) and warm smile. He’s very fair and forgiving, and every student that walks in walks out with a better understanding of how to manage day by day activities. He’s eager to become great friends with you, but maybe you could be something more? 
The Bubbly and Clutzy Home Ec Teacher, Beatrix: One of the other Home Ec teachers who seems to have quite the reputation for being an adorable clutz. The male populous tends to take her class for an easy a but can’t help it when she drops things. The students think she’s very funny and sweet, and her food is great (when it actually is cooked). She usually complains about her ‘absolutely boring’ life in the teacher’s lounge and wishes for a day when she’s whisked off into a sweeping romance. You might not be a prince from another country, but you could give her the love she needs, right? 
The Cold and Stern Economics Teacher, Aglovale: No one knows he’s also the CEO of a very popular business, and he knows economics like the back of his hand. The general consensus in him is a very respected one, and he makes sure to always keep a good light on him. He pretends he doesn’t care for the kids, but all the teachers know better. A very good bonus, he has glasses and his voice has been known to be extremely pleasing to the ears. He may act aloof around you, but do you think you have what it takes to melt his cold heart? 
The Fiery and Hotheaded Math Teacher, Percival: The younger brother of Aglovale, who also helps him occasionally with running the business. He’s a lot more open than his brother and tends to give attitude back though. The students love him a lot and go absolutely nuts when he’s roasting a kid who likes to mouth off. He’s exceptionally by the book and has certain expectations he wishes of people. You may have caught his eye, newbie, but can you really keep its hold? 
The Loud and Militaristic PE Teacher, Ilsa: A rather scary lady on the outside who takes her job as a PE teacher a bit too seriously. A lot of people will complain about how hard she is, but the athletes worship her like she’s their goddess. Seriously, they’ve never one as many times as they had until she’s come along. Her form of tough love tends to grate people the wrong way, but deep down, she’s really trying to find someone who will look past the ‘scary’ her.
The Hardworking yet Princely Engineering Teacher, Yurius: A man of many talents regarding creating anything, who tends to be more of a behind the scenes worker. He isn’t too flashy, and makes up for his more quiet behavior with cheeky jokes and genuine concern. Hopefully you make a good impression with him, and learn just how much a goof he really is inside. 
The Thunderstruck and Loyal Physics Teacher, Albert: A man who’s best friends with Yurius, and happens to love teaching about electricity. Physics is practically coursing through his veins and he makes sure his students are all on the same page. Not that much of a surprise, but him and Yurius run the robotics club and they seem to always win. He may look rather cold, but he is a really nice guy and will gladly show you the ropes or give you the best advice on some of the students and faculty. Maybe you two could teach each other a thing or two about love? 
The Seductive and Sweet Horticulture Teacher, Rosetta: This woman is the envy of all. Her sweet words can coax anyone to her beck and call. The greenhouse where she teaches at has become her new home, and many grow to love nature and plants due to her beautiful and poetic lessons and demonstrations. She can get quite flirty and beat around the bush, but know this, every rose has its thorns. If you mess with her, prepare for a life of hell. But otherwise, she’ll be a wonderful companion in your life if you manage to look deep inside and find the true beauty within her. 
The Patient and Inspirational Music Teacher, Caro: A rather young man who has been with the academy since day one. He lives for the creative endeavors of his students and has no problems with helping them step by step. To him, the most beautiful thing ever is not gold or jewels, but the sounds people can create. He was really interested by your presence and wishes to get closer to you, although he is rather shy about doing so. The sound his heart makes when he’s around you makes him absolutely smitten, and he hopes to get closer to experience all of what love has to offer. 
The Curious and Eccentric World Religions Teacher, Shiva: His appearance might startle some, but they quickly learn that he is passionate about his subject. He is always curious about what humans believe and how they go about their faith, and it makes him smile knowing the beauty of humanity. Some might call him a weirdo for being so in love with that, but he pays no mind. He is his own person, and he craves more and more. Although he hates being selfish, for some reason, he can’t help but want to know more about you. You’ve been a peculiar person, and he thinks he’d like to learn more. 
The Lazy and Rowdy Chemistry Teacher, Elmott: A man who is a self proclaimed pyromanic, who takes far too much pleasure in setting things on fire. He is unafraid of speaking his mind and will let everyone know what he’s thinking, whether they’re a student or faculty member. He can get mouthy, but he truly cares about his students and their education, and is the first to defend them if something is wrong. He quickly earns the respect of his students and fellow teachers, even if he pretends he doesn’t know what they’re talking about. Trust us, he isn’t a bad guy, no matter what he says. 
The Mysterious and Unknown Cryptid, Siegfried: A man who does... well know one really knows? Even Lucifer can’t give a straight answer. But it doesn’t matter since he tends to do the odd jobs or the ones no one really wants to do. Some kids claim he lives in a dungeon under the school. Others say the big shadow they saw trimming the bushes is secretly a lizard monster who is trying to infiltrate the government. Again, no one really knows. But the gentle giant who helped you with the copier machine certainly can’t be that bad, right? 
The Helpful and Stressed Counselor, Lancelot: The most reliable counselor the school’s ever seen. The kids absolutely adore him, and his job ranges from settling disputes between the students to helping them with their college applications. This man has connections and could probably hook you up with something wonderful. Because he can never say ‘no’, he stresses himself beyond belief. Of course, his best buddy Vane is always there to help him remember to eat and not drown himself with alcohol. Maybe you could show him that he is capable of taking a break and not dying?
The Smartass and Stoic Librarian, Seruel: A man of culture who really hates noises. He gets a bad reputation for telling the louder kids to be quiet, but really, he’s just trying to do his job. A lot of kids think he’s kinda scary because of his face, but if you ask him for help locating a book or some information on a subject (because he’s a walking encyclopedia) he’d be more than happy to help. He tends to remember frequent library-goers and likes to discuss books with them and what they thought of it. He’s read way too many trashy romance novels recommended to him by some sophomores, but he’s more than ready to start a real romance with you. If you can get past the rude jabs at first. 
A splendid array of options indeed. Are you ready to tackle your new job and try your luck at a love life? 
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konekoryuugamine · 5 years
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Riffing the Reef: “Greasy Buffoons”
This episode made me gag. No joke. Someone has a sick sense of humor at some studio. Spongebob is owned by Stephen Hillenburg and I am only going over the episodes I feel miss the point of the show. Please read and enjoy.    As I stated in the first "Riffing the Reef", Mr. Krabs has become a character I despise with every moral fiber of my being. He's the itemization of Greed within this show, possibly within all cartoons, more so than Mr. Burns.    Yeah, I went there.    Krabs did have a good dimension of character in pre-movie episodes of Spongebob and was even shown he cared deeply for his crew and family in several episodes. He cared for Pearl in "Culture Shock", he defended Spongebob in "Born Again Krabs", and in "Squid on Strike" he admitted he needed Spongebob and Squidward to help him. His cheap nature was often kept as a joke, like in "Imitation Krabs", but it was kept subtle for his better parts to show. And yes, in some episodes like "Krabby Land" and "The Patty Caper", he got what was coming to him.    THANKFULLY.
   However, many an episode exists where he is not placed at fault with his immoral actions, and he is not portrayed as the dimensional character he ONCE was.    I saw ONCE because the old Mr. Krabs is gone and dead.    He has become villainous, a criminal, and a downright jack-ss to his employers, murderous, cheap and disgusting as I'll get out, and has resorted to often letting his family and friends take the brunt of his actions. Krabs has become flanderized to the point where he is the character I want to see set in boiling oil and served with a side of butter.    And that DID happen in a modern Spongebob episode, albeit it was in about season 4 or 5, but I digress.    Evidence of his flanderization and bastardization go from "Drive-Thru", "Summer Job", "Krabby Kronicle", "Penny Foolish" and that one episode where he used Gary to acquire stolen money to "One Coarse Meal", "Cracked Krabs", "Spongebob, You're Fired" and "The Krusty Sponge".    I'll tackle those, especially a certain one, in the near future, but for now, I want to take a look at one that involves his greedy nature, Plankton and almost everything wrong with a modern Spongebob episode in one swoop.    "Greasy Buffoons".    This episode is disgusting, beyond annoying and shows Krabs as a jerk and Plankton as a somewhat good-guy here. I actually gagged when I watched it. And instantly realized why my mom suddenly banned my sisters and I from watching the show years ago. 
   Spongebob is actually in character for this episode as well, so that is also a problem in its own right, but the real problem stems from the plot itself.    Spongebob, after slipping on a grease slick on the kitchen floor, and ADMITTING TO KRABS HE FELT HE BROKE SOMETHING, Krabs sees the grease trap is overflowing and says that they have to empty it, adding "for no extra pay".    Note how Squidward actually vanishes at this point. I cannot blame him.    Already the problem is that Krabs was ignorant of his own employees, even saying THEY had to clean out the grease trap. He specifically states that it was a job for two employees to do for no extra pay. Funny or not, it's just a bad thing to mention. He was also ignorant of Spongebob's overall health prognosis, even when he stated he felt hurt.    You would think after so long, Spongebob would be an assent for Mr. Krabs, but oftentimes the Krab treats him as a slave, a dirt monkey, or worse. Several episodes like "Staycation" and "WhoBob WhatPants" show he cares little for paying him for his services and often will resort to belittling him in other episodes. However, he's not above trying to get his 'Golden Boy' back when he's not making money in the restaurant, also like in "WhoBob Whatpants".     That episode is already on my list . . .    Already I'm talking about this crab, but that's the least obstructive point in the episode.    The REAL meat of the story begins when Krabs and Spongebob, (more or less from Krabs' directions), dump the excess grease behind the Chum Bucket. Spongebob, as they drive off, asks Mr. Krabs if that was legal.    Krabs replies with " Le-gale?"    . . .    I've stated this before, and I'll state it again: I despise this character. He's been disciplined, he's been in the Navy, he's been a cook and a cleaner on several ships for the love of Neptune! He would be familiar with the concept of Johnny Law, even with basic commands like 'Attention' and 'Cleanliness'.    This line ALONE shows that Krabs has become a purely evil character, as he dumped a highly toxic and/or strange chemical behind his rival's restaurant and did not know it was a bad thing.    This is being blind to morality, or genuine idiocy enforced on the character due to the plot.    THIS IS A BAD THING.    Another thing is YES, it IS illegal to dump these kinds of chemicals on the ground like that. It can cause toxicity to the environment, the removal of any kind of soil, and can destroy whole ecosystems. He would also lose his vendor's license, but let's not GO THERE NOW!    Plankton finds the goop the next morning and immediately notices it tastes amazing. He takes it and uses it to make his chum taste better, which it actually might, and brings in customers who don't seem to hate his food.    Another problem or two I have with this episode is how Plankton is portrayed, and how the rivalry between Krabs and Plankton is seen as a fast-food competition with GREASE equaling FLAVOR.    First off, Plankton tells Krabs, (after Krabs uses a terribly written pun and/or 4th wall-breaking joke), that he was visited by the "Flavor Fairy", and that he was legitimately using it. The point does remain that Plankton was using Krabby Patty grease to mix with his chum, and Krabs DID dump it illegally on his property. The debate over whether or not Plankton 'stole' the flavor is varied, but in my honest opinion, since Krabs got rid of it, Plankton could use it as he pleased.    Krabs, being the jerk sod he is, doesn't want the trilobite to have a SINGLE customer, and given Plankton's past attempts at selling his chum, I cannot blame him here. The best example would be for "Spongicus" when he grotesquely described what was in his chum on a stick.    I felt nauseated when I heard he put anchor rust in there.    However, the greedy crustacean takes it too far as he uses the grease from his own patties to make them 'tastier', and gives them 'new and amazing' names to go with it. Krabs is being played as the good guy in this part, while Plankton is being placed as the villain still.     The problem is Plankton did not do anything morally or legally wrong. Plankton is not at fault, nor was he ever at fault. All he is guilty of is using grease that was disposed of on the ground, which may or may not end up making his customers sick with bacteria. 
   Come to think of it, that would have been a far better angle to take on this episode. Krabs disposes of the grease, Plankton begins to use it, and Krabs knows even mixing the Krabby Batty grease with the chum would cause some disaster for Bikini Bottomites, so he recruits Spongebob to help eliminate the grease and right his wrong.
   THEN AGAIN, this is Spongebob, so when has logic been applied before?    Another note I have to address is it's been proven by numerous studies that an intake of too much grease can lead to obesity, increased heart problems, breathing problems, etc. Just because it makes something taste better does not mean is it going to be good for your body. These two should have known about health codes and regulations in the first place to earn their vendor's licenses, and to even open their restaurants.    And they did, once upon a time.    This episode carelessly uses the grease as a plot device to start the conflict between the two, and create a stir of activity between their food. The two each try to outdo the other, even to the point where Krabs is serving 'Yummy Soup', which in reality is grease on a paper plate.    DISGUSTING DOES NOT EVEN BEGIN TO DESCRIBE IT.    A minor argument can also be made that the same customers who rush back and forth between the two restaurants are also at fault, mostly because they buy into the hypes the two monsters generate over their 'tasty' foods. Grease is sprayed between fish, they grow obese and become covered in the grotesque stuff, and one even SPITS IT OUT AS HE TALKED TO SPONGEBOB.    There are lines to draw here. It is gross.    This episode legitimately made me ill to watch.    The customers here are also written to serve the plot and are portrayed as stupid and ignorant of their surroundings. A general consensus of Bikini Bottomites from previous episodes have often shown intelligence, even a collective conscience, but THIS is just stupidity for the sake of the plot.    The entire time this goes on, Krabs is egging on the competition as much as Plankton is. He is raking in the money and cares nothing for his employees, NOR for his customers. All he cares about is money, money, money, money, MONEY.    The old Krabs would actually abide by his customers, like in the episode "Bubble Buddy". He’d care about the customer and even go so far as to chew an elderly lady’s patty for her.    Here, he’s shown to be completely ignorant of the customers' conditions and of Spongebob's thoughts towards how feeding people grease of this amount is a BAD thing.    The krab has been cracked; no pun intended on any future riffing episode.    The only saving grace of the episode is that Spongebob, close as he is to his original personality, calls the health inspector, and admits that the two have been feeding people grease for, as he says, two weeks. For SPONGEBOB of all people to do this, after seeing Patrick suffering, is the best thing in this episode. He recognized the immorality of Krabs and Plankton's actions while also admitting what he was doing as the cook was wrong.    The inspector being here is also an unexpected part. If this were another episode, Krabs and Plankton would have been arrested and the restaurants would have been destroyed from grease fires.    However, there was a gas and fire joke in "Just One Bite", and that was edited for safety's sake after 9/11, so who am I to say now about this?    The episode's conclusion shows the restaurants being shut down until they become clean, which, if it had ended there, would have been a satisfying conclusion for a mediocre episode. Krabs would have been punished for his immoral actions, karma would have taken its course and we would end on a happy note for once.    BUT NO.    Spongebob soaks up the grease, tells Krabs that he will dispose of it properly, and Krabs is stuck in a dream-like state because he fell asleep outside and had one of those "it was all a dream" moments. Patrick then comes out of literal nowhere and starts licking Spongebob for the grease, and Krabs ends the episode with a questionable thinking expression.    THIS is a bad ending and a bad idea.    KRABS should have been the one to help clean up his own mess, NOT Spongebob. This is averting him from accepting what he did was wrong and for taking the blame for his actions. Spongebob cleaning up his mess is not a good way to end this kind of story, nor is it a good idea for Krabs to continuously have evil thoughts like this while Spongebob is being pursued by Patrick.    I can only speculate what he was thinking, but I feel it was along the lines of him using Spongebob for more grease and Krabby patties again.    This makes Krabs even more of a Karma Houdini. He was caught, but SPONGEBOB was the one who cleaned up his mess. And he still gets allowed the chance to make the same scam going again thanks to Spongebob’s golden boy attitude. No punishment, no permanent comeuppance, all for the sake of some cheap laugh.    This just teaches the wrong lesson in morality as well as how people should not go about running restaurants.    And this was in a MODERN kid's cartoon.    Overall, this episode shows Krabs as a jerk and a terrible person. He's ignorant to the law, (which from previous episodes deviates from his character), unfaithful to his employees and uncaring to the customers he once showed small amounts of compassion for. Spongebob is the only person who is still in character and Plankton was shoe-horned in for the sake of the plot, like the grease itself. The citizens are devoid of intelligence and Patrick is only here because “laugh, monkey”. It demonstrated both immorality and careless writing on part of it being an 'entertaining' story.
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douxreviews · 5 years
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The Umbrella Academy - ‘Run Boy Run’ Review
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After a very lively and fleet-footed pilot, 'Run Boy Run' is a more slowly-paced entry, choosing to supply the viewer with additional details pertaining to the Hargreeves siblings' lives through imagery rather than exposition, and introduce the series' supporting cast outside the Hargreeves family.
The opening of this episode stupendously manages to showcase a variety of new details all in just under four minutes: we're shown what Five was like before getting stuck in the future, why he got stuck in the future, the subtle bond he held with Vanya when she was his age, and even a further look into the rigidity of Sir Hargreeves that seems to persist even during the children's' breakfast. Child actors can often be perceived as either a hit-or-miss, but the general consensus is simply that Aidan Gallagher as Five is anything but a miss. Credit is given where credit is due, and when an actor of his age can hold his own in a heated argument with Colm Feore, it warrants major credit.
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A slew of new characters make their way into the spotlight, starting with Hazel and Cha-Cha, two time-traveling assassins sent to collect Five for reasons unknown. They look a little like Men-In-Black type agents, while their personalities actually more reflect many buddy-cop film characters – Cha-Cha appears to be the dedicated and level-headed one, while Hazel comes off more as the simpleton with his head up in the clouds half the time. Their relentless interrogation though of a truck driver Five crossed paths with in the last episode show that for the time being, they do indeed mean business.
Other new characters, while intriguing in their own right, serve additionally as being one half of a coin to flesh their other side out more: Eudora Patch for Diego, and Leonard Peabody for Vanya. Patch is a police detective investigating the shootout that Five took part in and happens to be Diego's ex-girlfriend as well. Due to Diego's arrogance and tendency to operate as a freelance vigilante, Patch ended things between the two of them and is now more than anything constantly irritated with Diego's interference in her work. Peabody is an amateur violinist seeking tutoring from Vanya, and evidently seems to be the only other character besides Five that enjoys Vanya's company; Klaus is off scrounging for drug (and food) money, Luther is still investigating Sir Hargreeves' abrupt death, and Allison has rebuffed any attempt at consoling by Vanya after she is denied an opportunity to see her daughter.
As groundless as Allison's outburst to Vanya seemed, Allison as a character has already begun to grow on me more during my second viewing, and I do think there's something to be said about her line to Vanya while she's in the midst of chiding her; "You're an adult now Vanya, you don't get to blame your problems on anyone but yourself." During my rewatch, I began to realize that Allison may not be as hateful towards Sir Hargreeves as I initially believed, and, as we will see throughout all of Season 1, Allison (along with Five) seems to be one of the only siblings that refuses to cast blame on her father for her own issues. She instead takes as much initiative as she possibly can to move towards her own future and endgame, which is making amends for losing custody of her daughter. The others – Luther, Diego, Klaus, Vanya – all seem to have great difficulty with letting go of the past, and this is not to say that it is a fault of their own or that what their father did to them growing up is excusable or permissible, but if there were someone I could point out and say is trying to be the most emotionally mature, this episode showed me it was Allison.
Meanwhile, Five's attempts to learn what triggers the apocalypse begin with a prosthetic eye he believes originated from the individual that will unleash the imminent disaster. He enlists Klaus to blackmail an employee of the corporation the eye was manufactured at to learn who it belongs to, only to be told that the serial number on the eye hasn't even been applied yet. With his only lead dashed, Five (after uncivilly stiffing Klaus on the $20 promised for his zany performance as Five's father) heads next for a department store to reunite with Dolores, the woman Five has claimed multiple times before he was married to in the future. In a setting where sentient chimpanzees, super-powered beings, and time travel exists, I confess sheepishly that what took me the longest time to wrap my head around was that Dolores is in fact just a mannequin that Five ultimately bonded to in a manner not unlike Chuck Noland and Wilson in Cast Away.
While we're on the subject of Klaus too, an interesting spin on the addicted component of Klaus' character is that he doesn't just need to obtain a high to avoid nasty withdrawal symptoms; what's more crucial for him is that he needs the narcotics to block out the sounds of the deceased he can't help but take in as a result of his power. I also enjoy the notion of Ben at times acting as Klaus' conscience who wants to break Klaus away from his unhealthy habits. As opposed to other shows where, for the viewer's benefit, a manifested fragment of the hallucinating individual's mind argues with them through mirrors, it's refreshing here that Ben is not that, and instead is someone (albeit deceased) who will verbally spar with Klaus with his own thoughts, feelings, and attitudes.
Name That Tune:
Appropriately, 'Run Boy Run' by Woodkid is the tune being played as Five jumps further and further through time. Its grandiose instrumental not only kicks off as Five first takes in the desolation of the apocalypse he's just jumped into, but it's also a worthy track to exercise to.
Hargreeves Humor:
Five: "You know that rumor that Twinkies have an endless shelf life? Well, it's total bullshit."
Klaus: "Drop dead!" Ben: "Low blow!"
Klaus: "There's been an assault in Mr. Big's office, and we need security, now! Schnell!"
Five: "I told you to put on something professional!" Klaus: "What? This is my nicest outfit."
Aaron Studer loves spending his time reading, writing and defending the existence of cryptids because they can’t do it themselves.
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iluvtv · 5 years
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Seen in Scenes
Often art is wonderful because it feels as though it is speaking so directly to your individual experience. The intimacy in these moments can practically break your heart -- there is true power in feeling seen.
This desire to be acknowledged might explain my intrinsic obsession with satire. I never feel so fully understood as when a loved one mocks my misgivings. 
Perhaps my warmest memory of my little brother is when he would mimic my vanity by contorting his face into a somewhat pained overbite smile and craning his neck forward, pronouncing "I'm Sylvie looking in the mirror" -- inducing a shared bellyaching laugh between himself and my high school boyfriend. Similarly, I knew I liked my college boyfriend's group of buddies when they welcomed me to the posse by nicknaming "Bossy McHaterstein".
These people got me, they really got me!
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And sometimes TV is just good because it feels likes the jokes were written just for you. 
In these moments I am filled with a warm fuzziness and a fantasy of a few writers combing through my diary for all my wittiest moments, observations and ideas and in a genius moment of inspiration realizing they could get rich just mocking the banality of my wonderfully overinflated ego. 
And why not? At the end of the day, all our most embarrassing rants and habits generally kept so close to the sleeve are actually really, really fucking relatable to enough people to garner award-winning audiences. I mean isn't it obvious? Behind all our makeup, botox, fashion, and rehearsed dialogues it is within the fleshy nasty bits where our true humanity hides. Those are the parts that make us simultaneously unique and also pretty fucking similarly hilarious. 
Almost everything I prioritize on my watch-list is fueled by this narcissistic need for comic relief and so in the spirit of not overlooking my ever-accumulating television viewing notes of shows which I already gave full-service blogs to last season, I'll just brief you on a few stand out quotes from my winter's streaming season. If nothing else maybe you'll be inspired to pick up a new show. Or better yet start writing your own about how very endearing all my anomalies are... I have lots of journals and am happy to collaborate. I mean why aren't we getting rich?!
First and foremost, Brockmire. In its second season Hank Azaria once again knocks it out of the ballpark (see what I did there?! A baseball pun for a baseball show! I told you, I'm available to hire as a working writer!) Consistently, all my favorite quotes in this series speak to Jim Brockmire's unabashed use of alcohol and narcotics. 
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When Brockmire is told that being drunk makes him more likable to his radio audience he responds: "Those are the words that in his heart every alcoholic longs to be true." 
Hilarious! 
Viscerally we do all pray for this reality. 
hang on just one moment so I can have a drink and then you'll like my writing even more.
Alcohol is wonderful because even if others don't like me more when I drink I think I’m funnier
This makes me think of a wonderful line in the much-beloved series Letterkenny "People should only get hammered together so they never have to see how obnoxious their friends actually are."
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Drunken conversations (come to think of it many sober ones too) are often random babble that floats from topic to topic without a coherent throughline. Many stories are not quite seen through from beginning to end. Nowadays we've branded this comedy and it even is a titled genre. Thank goodness! Non-sequiturs drive so much of the humor seen on television today and as I said, a little inebriation doesn't really hurt this “style”. Booze-fueled rants are perfect for non-sequiturs and sure, perhaps a true genius can conjure this wit sober but I'll live in the fantasy land where the gin is really helping.
Another untested theory that might help this special brand of comedy is one's gender. In an episode of my new podcast obsession (I have a lot of these) Good One, Julie Klausner attributes most of TV's best non-sequitur television not to alcoholics but to females.
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This makes sense since actually talking is a necessity to this genre.
Clearly, we all owe Tina Fey quite a bit for popularizing this trend in 30 Rock. While the character she portrays in Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt seems convinced she can only function if she compartmentalizes her life to the point of nightly blackouts, something tells me in real life Fey isn't coming up with these speedy off the cuff jokes in quite the same state. 
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It's called ACTING, people!
In the final episodes of Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt, Fey and the rest of the Kimmy Machine do not let us down. Appealing to my love of all random, mostly embarrassing and yet somehow unbearably relatable moments, the dialogue in these episodes is funny because you can simultaneously laugh and pretend you would absolutely never say/do/think any of these things while 100% knowing that the only thing between your behavior and theirs is just a couple more glasses of champagne. Like when Titus uses the pickles from his hamburgers as the soothing cucumbers a woman who actually takes care of her skin might rest on her eyelids while having a facial. Or when Lilian explains farties is a common nickname for children because "they smell bad, they almost always were an accident and you have to be extra worried if they're silent."
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It just feels right to laugh at what we might imagine being the very worst version of ourselves.
Indeed, moments of doom can be terribly hilarious. How about the still wonderfully important Superstore a network sitcom which four seasons in still addresses important issues addressing our present socio-economic-political climate with one of the freshest voices I have yet to see on TV?! 
The crucial voice of this series is in large part thanks to another amazing female, America Ferrara (who coincidentally, was recently interviewed by NYT on the very apropos topic of being seen on TV).
This show creates truly refreshing (almost light) humor from some of the darkest plights that are facing Americans today. Health care, maternity leave, citizenship, and student loan debt... no topic is too taboo! It really should be required television as it offers quick wit, non-sequiturs, gag humor, romance and actual representation to huge parts of our population whose stories are normally left either in the margins or in tragic headlines. The diverse representation here is truly remarkable. And while I may be able to identify easily with basic bitch alcohol memes I am also fueled be a deep-seated passion for social justice and cultural-education and am equally adept at laughing at the asinine nature of my friend's plights as hard as I laugh at my own.
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Like when Dina is encouraged to hold Glenn's baby for which she was the surrogate and instead voices utter disinterest; "it's kind of like shopping at Goodwill and you see a shirt you donated. For a second it feels meaningful and then you realize it's not." Or when the staff gets snowed into the store overnight and is stuck debating whether to watch Game of Thrones Season One or Friends Season Nine on DVD the general consensus is neither, "I agree, I watch TV to escape, not to watch more white people." 
How reassuring then that there are spaces on television now where everyone can be seen from the alcoholic sportscaster to the overweight black gay struggling actor, to the strong-willed assistant manager of a big box superstore. Here, in these fleshy bits, we can all laugh-- even the San Francisco personal trainer can relate. Deep down we all are imbeciles and we also all secretly would hate to change.
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mantha-has-fallen · 6 years
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Anxiety Attack
Summary: Virgil gets help with a sudden anxiety attack and has to deal with the repercussions.
Pairing: Prinxiety
CONTENT WARNINGS:  Angst, Mild cursing, Descriptions of panic/anxiety attack, Brief fluff, Self deprecation
This is providing context for a snippet by @crystaled-sides​. Yes, I’ve already posted it, but I did quite a bit of editing and fixed my mistakes, so this is the revised and final version. I’m going to put my addition in before linking to the original post for continuity. So… yeah. Enough of my rambling. On to the story.
Roman had been up for hours, excitement snatching any chance for sleep away. He knew what today was and he knew that everything would go well. Thomas had the chance of a lifetime, and with the prince’s help he knew he was going to slay that audition. Between his recitations in the vanity mirror, he almost didn’t notice the thud on his door. He rose, strode to the entrance, opened it, and-
Oh.
Oh no.
- - - - -
When Virgil woke up late that morning, he had no idea about the events that were inevitable to occur soon. What he did know, though, was that he felt terrible. It wasn’t his usual discomfort with, well, everything; something was definitely off. Something was wrong. Way wrong. His mind went into overdrive; thoughts flew by so fast that they all blurred together. He needed to find something to calm him down before the dreaded anxiety attack. He needed a safe space. He needed…. Something… He needed…. He needed-
He needed Roman.
He burst out of his sullen chamber, looking like a total mess. (Yet, in his haste, he didn’t forget to close -more like slam- his door; it was instinct by now not to want anybody in his room.) His feet raced his pounding heart, managing to haul him to the door he needed. He mustered the strength to knock once before his breathlessness shoved him down to a heap on the floor.
Nobody answered the door.
He was too late.
He stared, wide-eyed into the blackness. It was consuming his vision. He remained in place, gasping for breath while his chest constricted as a result of the massive Boa of Panic.
He didn’t notice how the door opened behind him, trailed by a shocked gasp. His mind refused to process that he was being lifted, an arm behind his knee and another supporting his back.
Something else -something very much physical and real- was compressing his chest. It was only then that the Boa loosened up enough for him to note the change of scenery, despite his darkened vision.
Somebody was hugging him.
His trembling frame stiffened for a second, then relaxed. Or, well, he tried to relax. He was being clutched against a well-muscled chest. Somebody was seizing onto him like they would lose him if they let go. The scent that met him when he inhaled -the earth of petrichor and the crisp of pine- was familiar and comforting. Knowing who this was, he shifted and buried his face in his boyfriend’s shoulder. His eyes burned like he was going to cry, but the tears refused to come.
That didn’t stop the sobs, though.
Massive, loud, painful sobs racked his body, using up the small amount of air that he managed to suck in. He felt hands sliding up and down his back. His shaky hands snaked around the other man’s torso, clenching the fabric they found there. As his symptoms began to ebb away, he became aware of the voice coming from his right ear.
“-okay. It’s okay. Everything’s okay. It’s all going to turn out all right. You’re here with me, you’re safe. Everything’s going to be fine.” Roman’s distressed voice continued to repeat words of comfort.
But Virgil already knew he was wrong.
- - - - -
Virgil was on the verge of panic for the rest of the day, like a frazzled kitten. Patton had almost cried when he found that his excited outbursts had his dark, strange son ready to bolt. By general consensus, loud noises were outlawed for the rest of the day. Instead of their normal practice of "to each his own," the Sides opted for a Disney marathon. None objected when Roman suggested the idea.
It was midday now, and the couple was cuddling on the couch. Virgil lay between the prince's legs, head resting on his chest as Roman drew lazy designs on his boyfriend's side. His focus was on the movie playing on the screen in front of them. Virgil's anxiety still remained, making it difficult for him to pay attention to the film. Instead, he opted to focus on the sensation of the embrace, chills dancing up his spine from contact with the bare skin of his abdomen. He soaked up the comfort, knowing it wouldn't happen again. Not after what he knew had happened earlier that day.
Thomas' eventual arrival interrupted the movie they'd been watching. He was in his apartment when he began to call his Sides out to talk. Virgil, as never before, had been the first one called, the first one to see that they were both messes. Unkempt hair, dazed look… Hell, Thomas even looked like he was getting Anxie- Virgil’s bags under his eyes. Seeing how tired he looked, Virgil almost wanted to start crying, apologizing for what he’d done. He’d already been feeling horrible the entire day, and to see how much he’d hurt Thomas…
“You okay, buddy?” Virgil was incredulous. How, when he’d already had such a terrible day… How did Thomas still manage to be so nice? Especially to the one who’d caused all of this. Virgil merely bit his lip and cast his eyes downward, away from the person he’d betrayed. Thomas, too, looked down. No more words were exchanged; they didn’t need to say anything else.
“Well look who it is! Thomas, how was-!” Patton stopped when he saw how on edge both Thomas and Virgil looked after having jumped at his outburst. “-Oh. Sorry, kiddos.” Patton stared down the column that served as their fourth wall, aching to break the barrier to hug Thomas.
Roman appeared in a regal pose, as always, “Please tell me those bags under your eyes are only cosmetic.” He interjected with something that might have been an attempt at a joke, but they all knew otherwise; the part he auditioned for wouldn’t need that kind of eyeshadow. Though he was trying to stay positive, the Side had a pained look on his face.
“It would appear as if Thomas is not feeling, and correct me if I’m wrong-” Logan flipped through a few notecards, picking one and turning it around so the others could see- “a Hundred P.”
“Thomas, what is the matter? You had your audition today, you should be-” his creative Side cut himself off when he saw Thomas cringe.
“Yeah, about that…” Thomas had regret written on his face, and Virgil couldn’t help but feel terrible. He knew how important this audition was for Thomas, and for Roman too. But he went and screwed it up anyway. He knew that Thomas hated him, and that Roman would too, when he found out. “I, um… Well, I…”
“It’s okay, kiddo. We’re here for you.”
“Um, well…” Virgil could feel Thomas’ eyes flash his way.
“… Yes?” Roman prodded.
“I, uh… we- er, I had-”
“He had a panic attack. On stage.” Virgil interrupted, seeing as Thomas wasn’t going to get to saying it anytime soon.
“Panic attacks aren’t usually initiated by stressors or specific external stimulus. Shouldn’t this be classified as-”
“An anxiety attack?” Anxiety himself interrupted. “Does it matter?” Virgil growled, upset. “Either way, I’m the one that screwed him up.” Virgil, for the first time since the encounter started, chanced a look in Roman’s oddly silent direction.
He immediately wished that he hadn’t.
The amount of… hurt and... and disappointment was too much for him to bear. He stood and hissed a “Fuck this,” escaping in the direction of his room before the others could do anything at all. I’m so sorry, guys. I just ruin everything.
Here is a link to the post that inspired this and comes next in the story.
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